Write a formal letter to God.

>>34218463
Dear God, hope you get the letter and
I pray you can make it better down here
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving on their feet
'Cause they don't get enough to eat from God
I can't believe in you

Dear God, sorry to disturb you but
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image
See them fighting in the street
'Cause they can't make opinions meet about God
I can't believe in you

Did you make disease and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the Devil too!

Dear God don't know if you noticed but
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book
And us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
And all the people that you made in your image
Still believing that junk is true
Well I know it ain't, and so do you
Dear God
I can't believe in
I don't believe

I won't believe in heaven or hell
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well
No pearly gates, no thorny crown
You're always letting us humans down
The wars you bring, the babes you drown
Those lost at sea and never found
And it's the same the whole world 'round
The hurt I see helps to compound
The Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'll perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve
If there's one thing I don't believe in

It's you
Dear God

I love you, yet you hate me. It must be funny to watch my life go through so many challenges. The only thing I can hope for is that in the end, you doing this to me helps me achieve my potential.

>>34218463
Dear God,

wew lad.

Your beloved Anon

Dear God,

My name is irrelevant, as is my existence, because I am simply one of your many billions of ants.

And you are not real. This letter will end up at the same address as those sent to Santa; the trashcan.

Sincerely,

Your most embarrassing and disappointing creation.

>>34218463
Dear God:
WHY?

[/spoiler]Why my comment was unoriginal?[/spoiler]

Hi,

help me please

T. anon

>>34218583
Dear God: WHY I FUCK UP THINGS?

(Oh) Dear God (!)

If you ever get tired of being God, I am more than happy to take over the position, even temporarily.

with love, Anon

>>34218463
I hate you. You betrayed me. I was your angel, but you let me fall. Now I have become something else.

Sick fuck kys.

File: 1481595537948.jpg (37KB, 666x527px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 666x527px

Dear God,

>tfw no gf

send help pls

>>34218463
God? You weren't always there for me. You weren't the one perpetrating the shitty deeds against me, sure, and you may have not enjoyed it, but still, you sat and stared.
Now comes the change. I talked my way out of juvenile ward, I'll talk myself out of hell and then I'll talk your lazy ass off the throne.

Dear Mr God

Due to numerous complaints from your many subordinates, we regret to inform you that your employment here on earth is terminated.

Please review the materials you have been given during your departure interview as they have been supplied to you for your assistance and support.

We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
The people of earth

>>34218905
Wait. What if we fire god, he becomes NEET and joins the board?

God,

Why am I here? Why was I created in the first place to be tested, was it just the luck of the draw, or did you already see that I would live according to your way, and bring me into this world? If it is because of the latter, what's the point if you can already see what will happen?
Also, I see no point in mortal life if we ascend to Heaven or descend to Hell in the end, and stay there for eternity; is it so we can live praising you (which is what we try to be allowed into Heaven to do), or to test us? And now we're faced with the same problem as before.
Another question: if a part of the Bible is lost or its meaning is changes through multiple translations (Hebrew>Latin>Old English>Modern English), and we do not follow it because we have no way of knowing, is it then justified to say we are sinners and send us to Hell? Although I guess that's redundant since we're told that faith justifies sin by Paul.
I don't fucking know, that's all I'm taking away from this, and I probably will never know so long as I walk the Earth trying to find out.

Sincerely, a convert.

Also, I feel the need to tell all of you entitled faggots that God does not owe you something, He isn't there to hold you and tell you everything's going to be alright.

File: 1483131424932.png (12KB, 518x430px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 518x430px

why would you write a letter to someone who doesn't exist.

this is even dumber than writing a letter to someone who may or may not read it.

>>34219016
You're not a real robot, stop pretending. Every christfag I ever spied on was assigned a qtgf by his church/gf parents. Solid motherfucking statistics. So go live a miserable life, THEN you can try talking down to miserable people, sackless hypocrite.

>>34219107
How do you define christfag? Every Christian? Only ones who attend Church?

>>34218463
What's good, nigga?

We be in the 'burbs smoking herb

Outie 5000,
Anon

>>34219016
>He isn't there to hold you and tell you everything's going to be alright.

Yes he is it's the point of being Christian, he might send you to hell but while you're alive he's there for you, you fucking idiot heathen

>>34219238
Everyone who so much as put his eyes on your damn book.

Really though, I mean the "pleasant" smuglords who attend meetings and go to church and such. I have several non-attending friends, and apparently religiousness is directly proportional to previous random success in life and asshattery.

>>34218463
God
What did i do to you to deserve such misery?
Anon.

>>34219342
You didn't believe you fucking idiot

>>34219365
I was supposed to believe in you before my birth?

Dear God,
This is strange, what the fuck am I doing here. Show me some guidance. Also give my family guidence as well, not my mom's siblings though, they are Mormon fucking fags.
From, g-anon

>>34219379
"You didn't believe enough I know you doubted me, when you struggle you must never forget where you came from (me)"

>>34219422
I cant trust in you. You've never given strength to believe in myself.

>>34219379
that's what the smug successful christfags want you to believe. the faggots can't just settle on the idea that they won the bio-lottery, oh no, their PIETY won them every inch of their cock, every girl who fell in love with them, every coin and every friend in the right place.

File: question mark.jpg (38KB, 362x346px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 362x346px

Dear God,
I don't really get it.

>>34219455
People are happy believe because they believe, not the oppsoite.

>>34219455
"You shall not speak wrong about my people"

>>34219476
I just cant believe in God because i dont believe in myself.

God

was getting schizophrenia for 6 years part of your plan? and how you repeatedly put me in the way of cruel and malicious people. I've seen evil people be rewarded while good people destroyed. are you a god of evil? I followed your commands yet all I got was misery and loneliness. is your plan leaving me bitter and turning me towards cruelty and deceit? show your benevolent and generous hand that you promise to your people so.

Dear God,

I used to hate you. A friend of mine as well. But now I just don't give a fuck anymore.

Thanks for letting our lives be ruined.

With love,
Anon.

File: 3eb64_BanePrologueMaskShotGoodw5942.jpg (35KB, 560x300px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 560x300px

>>34219520
>was getting schizophrenia for 6 years part of your plan?
No, crashing your brain with no survivors.

>>34218463
Dear god,

Fuck you, you piece of shit. Once chance at life and you make me autistic with an anxiety disorder. I'll accept your apology in the form of a pure gf. Otherwise I look forward to actively working against you in the afterlife.

Sincerely,
Anon

Dear God,

I know it's been a while since we spoke, but I need to get some (you)s, so I'm sure you understand. While I have your attention, I may as well ask you a question.

Firstly, God, why do you make me suffer so much? Some of it is my fault, I get that. But there are things beyond my control, like the fact that I'm ugly. I've heard the argument that you give us problems we are capable of handling, but I can't take this for much longer. People keep telling me that letting Jesus into my heart will fix that problem, but I tried that already. And I'm sure you know the saying about fooling me twice.

I'm not even sure if I want to apologize for sounding angry, because now that I look back, you've never been there for me. Any prayers that I made as a child were unanswered. Do you hate me? Is that it? Because it sure seems like it.

-Anon

ps I know this was incoherent, but you're God, so you'll figure it out.

>>34219476
>>34219476
What you just did was one of the terminal sins, pride. You implied you're an angel in heaven, you get no happiness from fucking your qtgf and you get by on celestial manna. You think I don't have a GF because I beat up a monk or something? Fuck no. I just spent 2 years out of school due to spine injury. Did your god break a kiddie's back for impiety? Heavens, your religion is the collection of sickest fucks I've ever seen.

>>34218463
Your infinite wisdom has granted me clarity.
Not enough clarity of course.
But i am forever grateful for
what little i understand.
I see ever so slightly more clearly now.
& while i have no interest
in being what you want me to be
I am thankful for your consideration.
Even in my failings and infinite misery
you have taught me.
& while what ive learned
isnt applicable.
Its damned interesting.
Captivating even.
I appreciate the lessons.
& even though youve made me
just an open book
to be thumbed through
and discarded by the masses.
I understand
that everyone
from the most insignificant
to the most magnanimous
has a role to play in this world.
I eagerly await the death you have prepared for me.

File: Cima_da_Conegliano,_God_the_Father.jpg (132KB, 700x544px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 700x544px

This is God speaking.
Stop masturbating because your dead relatives can see it.

>>34218463
dear god,
you are hilarious
what a fucking comedian

Dear god.

Please come down and show yourself and update the bible cuz I want to know if im really a bad person who deserves hell for eternity just for fapping to cartoon animals and girls.

Sicerely yours, anon.

dear god suck my dick faget