>"Holy shit anon you're still a virgin?!"

"y-yeah it just hasn't happened for me yet. I'm not in a position to get a girlfriend right now."

Actually happened to me once with family. That night was the only time I've ever seriously considered suicide.

B-bags o-of sand?

yeah. can you give me a help on losing it?

im pretty much convinced sex is just a porno thing and no one actually has sex, it's just a big ruse

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>>34202965
Wait a minute?Were the fuck i am i?Who are you people?Why i am i in a faggy cafe?

>chad coworkers talking about sex and past sexual experiences
>out of nowhere chad asks me what kind of nipples i prefer and describes two types
>t-the first one

They're going to find out soon. They already find me weird as fuck.

>>34203203
Hey fuck you, I like that guy in the green shirt.

>>34203291
I didn't even think about what hes up to.

People usually say that to me with a shocked voice, not a mocking one. I guess it means about the same though.

>>34202965
Yes, because I've learned from my father and mother that sleeping around creates dysfunctional families.
Where the father is always away getting drunk, fucking anything with a pussy and neglecting his son and wife.
Where the mother believes it is a human right to go out and get drunk while leaving other people to care for her child, eventually realizing that this is a mistake and divorcing her husband to find ''a real man'' at the age of 53. (I do not want to be tied down ''XD''.)

I stopped caring about being a virgin once I realized what a life obsessed with sex leads to, once I finish uni I will either go to east europe or asia and get a wife, chances of her being a virigin and loyal would be decently high.
If she fucks around anyway I'll **** her, after which I'll **** myself.

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Y-yeah, t-this is funny, right? P-please don't tell everybody about that. Let's just be friends.

>>34203327
he looks like he'd be a random enemy in a first person shooter,i swear he looks like one of the random dudes you'd blow away in Perfect Dark or Red Faction.

>>34203382
>sleeping around creates dysfunctional families.
This. First person I've ever actually seen talk about this.

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>>34202965
"y-Yeah.. i guess.. IF YOU COUNT OUT THE FLAMING WHORE YOU CALL "MOTHER" THAT I FUCKED SILLY FOR THE LAST YEAR, EVERY FUCKING DAY"
*smash a table on their heads*
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

>be 20 years old virgin
>at friend's house
>friend's friend come over
>start talking about a stupid, inconvenient guy we both know
>"the worst thing about him is that he is 20 years old and still a virgin"
>stay silent

I mean, for real, the guy is the worst human being, but the worst part about him is that he is still a virgin? Just fuck my shit up famalam

>>34203570
>a guy saying the worst part about another guy is he's a virgin

If anything that makes him look fucking gay.

>>34202965
>Implying it's mature conduct to go around asking people if they've fucked or not
>Implying I'd stoop down to their level and humor them with truth
I'm not a virgin, I'm sagittarius.