/britfeel/

it's so cozy in here desu

>>34197995
Are Saffa's welcome?

>>34197995
because britain was built on sitting around and complaining until someone else took care of it instead of taking action

what do you think we are, americans or something

Dick is so thick and swole when its floppy, its like having a fucking fat sausage down there.

I just need to relieve it lad, will one of you help me?

>>34197995
>Not even British

WOT ARE YER?

> Work at McDicks
> Get shit on by bitchy female coworkers constantly
> Self esteem at all time low because they've figured out I have a coughing fit if I shout.
> Scream in my face and I can't properly respond
> Basically bully me into submission
> Write a formal complaint to management
> Female store manager laughs at me for being a "pussy"
> Customer comes in today and says I sound and look "bright"
> Hands me a business card shaped advert for the local university
> Rack my brain for hours thinking either its a cruel prank or if he is genuine

>>34197995
good job, now get back to work on those canals, paddy

>>34198052
have you not seen the edition lad. we're lazy, sort it yer sen

>>34198055
Aussie, ye cunt

>>34198073
lad its throbbing, it needs somewhere wet to go

>>34198057
prank
>haha get a load of this spotty sperg
>he really looks 'bright'
>watch, ill even given him business card

>>34198095
have a wank then you woofter, this isn't /lgbt/

>>34198037
where do you live anon, cape town? seems like the country is going down to the bogs

at least from what my saffer classmate tells me, he came over on an ancestry visa

>>34198125
cant you atleast pretend to be konata for me

>>34198082
Close enough I guess. At least you're not a Yank, right?

>>34198095
fill the sink up with water an ice cubes that'll sort it out
also ibuprofren is good for inflamation take 2 of them to help with the swelling

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>>34198139
>weeb bull-shit

gunna put my finger up my bum and jerk off lads, gunna be my first time, any tips and tricks?

>>34198169
wash your hands after

>>34198169
lube
try a twisting motion?

>>34198157
will you help me? pls anon

>>34198139
the fuck do you think I am m8, I'm not your rent boy

use your imagination like a decent lad and stop being such a poof, had enough of your nonsense tbqh

>>34198057
why would it be a prank? He just wants you to come and give his uni 9k a year for a shit degree

>>34198138
Yup Cape Town. The Strand more specifically.

It's still comfy here for now getting my qualifications in and then possibly jumping ship.

>>34198188
that being original says a lot about robots

>>34198169
gb2/fit/ pl0x

Has anyone ever eaten an entire full sized piano?

>>34198139
but konata doesn't have a penis anon

>>34198194
havent really got any lube gunna just suck my finger and put it up there, might suck it afterwards depending how horny i get. I hear its a pretty good thrill.

>>34198052
>>34198095
>>34198201
I'd suck it better anon would need some pics first though

>>34198197
i can help you if you're wanting to take dick desu, but i'm not taking anything

>>34198218
Thats why its called pretend anon, its a fun game between friends.

>>34198201
Just wanted some help is all, its so swole anon ;_;

>>34198242
bender tbqh

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>>34198169
Heard from another anon that this is the best method.

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>>34198227
please send help anon

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>>34197835
>>34197584

ty for the links

>>34198208
yea from what I hear capetown is comfy, still lots of crime compared to the EU though

hope all goes well for you lad, should be pretty easy to find work here or somewhere like Aus if you decide to.

anyway I'm off to try and sleep again

>>34198220
no baby oil or owt, surley a sucked finger isn't going to stay moist for long.

>>34198331
take it to /soc/ please

no one wants to see your shriveled penis

>>34198331
those pubes look almost ginger

>>34198337
And for you. Sleep well Nigelanon

How much does a university education cost in britain my dudes

Also are you guys on the erasmus program? Can I spend a year in rome, a year in paris, a year in amsterdam if I start studying in britain?

>>34198404
Go fuck yourself you fucking immigrant, we're full fuck off

>>34198404
Don't know I never even made it to college...

>>34198415
You're an Aussie, though, lad Aren't you?

>>34198331
You want him to pop that dick pimple with his teeth or something you grotty cunt?

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Why do I make myself sad, lads?
Post waifus

>>34198442
British you fucking cunt, now fuck off.

>>34198404
a lot

unless you qualify for loans and are able to live here for 3 or so years forget it

>>34198404
Fuck off wog

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>>34198449
i ask that very question of myself lad
even when there is something that makes me smile i can't stop it

Roll 'em, lads. Dubs and you die in your sleep peacefully and painlessly tonight.

Me first...

i've seen quite a few dick pics posted on britfeel recently and haven't yet seen one nice looking cock, you all have the most disgustingly unaesthetic cocks i've ever seen... surely one of you must have a nice juicy willy

>>34198533
Theres been a few delicious juicy looking dicks

I'm not gay though so I wouldn't know haha

>>34198532
Rolling

For

Release

Pleeease!

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>>34198560
get yer gob round this you puff

>>34198533
I got a nice thick juicy willy, maybe ill post it, maybe I wont but I bet you'd love to suck it. Maybe you can tempt me into posting it ha ;)

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>>34198585
do you have phimosis? should stretch that

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Got a couple of cheeky shots from a slut at college today lads.

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>>34198653
So naughty not wearing any panties

>>34198653
woah, her fanny looks massive

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Got a couple from this milf at ASDA today too

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Dat sum thick bush? oh lawd

>>34198653

>that dress
>no leggings
>in this weather

I don't believe you.

>>34198647
my head comes out when it needs to lad

>>34198415
I'm well educated and working here full time. U h8 us coz u anus to be honest


>>34198475
Why? You have great schools so thatd be a good investment, in theory. How do I qualify for loans or programs

Chose not to do any drugs tonight lads. I will do drugs tomorrow instead.

>>34198585
>you will never be able to get your mouth around this majestic phallus

why even live

>>34198764
nah do em tonight lad

>>34198764
Nice, self-restraint. I wish I had some strenght of character

>>34198695
i wanna get close to her face just so i can fucking bite her nose off

>>34198751
Sorry mate but can you go home, please? We're full. I'm asking you nicely. Next time we'll kill you.

>>34198751
Literally no one in Britain wants you mate, you're scum.

>>34198764
good on ya lad. i did the same with drinking.smoking the green stuff though,it's bedtime splif time for me now desu
will be drinking tomorrow though. got some port off my cousin and apparantly adding blue wkd to it makes something called a cheeky vimto, so will be knocking back a few of those cheeky fellas

>>34198822
You're on an american website right now so you're an e-immigrant. I won't go home because I don't have one, and already had plenty of life in my country and was bored so now I'm having adventures on this funny island. About the killing thing: you can try, I've got an itch. I'm into picking a fight with anyone but I'll respond with violence for violence if I have to


>>34198843
Everyone has been super nice and accepting to me so far

Does anyone even watch youtube videos at normie speed anymore?

Everyone knows watching it a 1.25 is 1000x better.

>>34198944
>Everyone has been super nice and accepting to me so far
They're lieing to you, you'll never get to know what a real british person is like, you'll never get to know what british culture is because youre an outsider you fucking disgusting shitskin

>>34198449
>Mute character with zero backstory that you fill in by projecting your issues into her via conclusions that you drew through utter nonsense.

Perfect waifu for the sad sacks of shit in here.

>>34198992
British culture is all about mixing shitskins and chinks on the streets

>>34199022
well you're in here as well desu so that must make you a sad sack of shit also

>>34199061
can't talk like that online anon, mummy may is watching

>>34199092
'no'

shalashaska

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for the wise wanderer.you've made me smile tonight so i found this.
>i think i remember you saying you liked jodie
here's an early miss foster i found

>>34199140
So many fucking immigrants that they've even invaded /Britfeel/ asking how to get loans so they can overcrowd our universities, raise the cost of housing, and help keep our wages low.

FUCK OFF!

>>34199140
*yes*
>sad sacks of shit in here.
your words
you're in here
you're a sad sack of shit like the rest of us

>>34199195
>implies I meant everyone in here is a sad sack of shit and not just 'the' sad sacks of shit in here such as yourself.

take your waifus example and kys

>>34199232
>take your waifus example and kys
my waifu hasn't killed herself though

>>34199166
That's a great picture of her. She's really young there but old enough to do horrible things to. I can understand why John Hinckley Junior had to shoot Ronald Reagan because of her, for she is also a powerful sorceress of no small capability.

Thanks, lad.

>>34199166
>>34199271
you two lads, i think you should go on the list just to be safe

>>34199271
no worries lad glad you're enjoying it
i was a bit nervous about posting lewdish i didn't want to offend, just reward

>>34199305
what? that's legal, no need forhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCYZ3pks48

>>34199339
just making sure lad. if you're innocent you've got nothing to hide, isn't that right? can't let another savile slip through the net can we now lad?

>>34199339
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCYZ3pks48
bugger that didn't work right, once more unto the breach.if this 1 goes wrong i'm giving in n going to bed

>>34199361
woohoo it worked. still going to bed though, i'm knackered

>>34199305
What list? Everyone wanted to fuck Jodie Foster when she was 19 and I'm no exception.

>>34199384
pry minister is making a list, and shes checking it twice
and you're on it now lad

>>34199321
No worries, lad, I've always been a perverted fiend. Becoming a Zen monk hasn't eradicated residual traces of my personality.

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So anyone wanna hazard a guess at what this is?

>>34199399
nah they know everything online is just done for shits and giggles. r-right?

>>34199399
I'm probably on it for a 15 year history of hardcore anti-establishment ideology, conspiracy theories, incitement to violence and posting bomb making manuals. What I won't be on there for is wanking over (legal) pictures of Jodie Foster when she was younger. She's a famous actress. How old are you? Do you even know who she is?

>>34199427
>what's all this sir
>quite a lot of posts on something called pol
>i think you better pop down to the station for a quick chat sir

>>34199418
Me on Saturday night.

>>34199414
iktf
not original i know but when a few letters convey a strong sense of connection i think it should be allowed

>>34199466
just like your dubs, you're on two lists lad

>>34199486
i'm ok then mr orifficer i don't attend any of the /pol/ meetings

>>34199513
Not for Jodie Foster I'm not, so be quiet and stop implying indecency on our behalf where there is none.

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>>34199490
so true so true !!

oringdus

>>34199575
if you're innocent then lad you won't mind if they have a cheeky little peek at your browser history and saved photos then will you lad? no harm in that and just being on little list to keep an eye on you for future, just in case. no home done there lad, is there?

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>>34199418
Did some pretty heavy analysis, I deduce it is a gnome OR leprechaun running away with someones kitty

>>34199637
Well the filthy fucking gerbils are doing basically all of that without my consent anyway. I wonder what a preliminary investigation into parliament members' computers and browsing history would reveal? Rampant Bestiality, paedophilia and bizarre and indecent object insertions no doubt.

>>34199774
get out of the house now lad
the elites are already on their way

>>34199360
i thought it was well known about saville. as with all these politicians and the like

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>>34199774
WHO ELSE SEEN THE LEPRECHAUN SAY YEA!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5_tgcZA1AY

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>>34199774
interedasting

originialio

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>>34199418
>>34199774
looks like the little fella is running and catching something, can even see the shadow
i did it in a sky sports replay style with arrows and everything

odds fapu
evens sleepu

>>34200004
Is the black thing you circled the thing he's catching and not part of its "hat"? I dont do sky sports lad

>>34199774
>>34199418
This fucking world is so god dam weird. Least the germans knew what was up

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobold

>>34199774
rip kitter, i hope the gnomes are veggies and just like cattos as pets

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>>34199774
Did a secondary analysis, it could be a fish instead of a kitty so maybe no need to panic so much, maybe. Kittys could still be unsafe, but im not 100% on that determination right now.

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>>34200075
i don't really do sky sports myself just seen it when my stepdad watches shitty football all weekend
yeah i thought the black thing was seperate
it looks a bit like a wooly hat desu, and it also looks like the little guy is turning to face the camera
>bogart?
but they are more in the countryside desu

going to go to bed lads, this conspiracy has given me a spook

Background on photo
>A family member of mine snapped these two photos on the night of the abnormally large full moon. The time frame between the two photos was approximately 2 seconds. What interested me is neither of these family members have heard of photo shop; much less used it. This was taken in the front yard of a house they had recently purchased and hadn't even completely moved into. Things I have noticed that intrigue me: it appears to be on two hind legs, it produces a shadow in comparison to the first photo, and it is mostly opaque besides it's what i assume is a face. These things excluded it from being a smudge on the lens for me, because smudges don't produce shadows. LOOKING FOR SERIOUS IDEAS ONLY. Please don't provide an answer like "obviously photo shopped" and then give no educated backing to support your claim. I can also provide any other detail I might know when prompted.

late night spooky edition of britfeel is good times, getting all the spooks right now

>>34200432
yeah i like the spoopy /x/ vibe it's nice n comfy

Saw all that ghost anon shit last night and it was quite creepy. Shame he was ripping it from some guys youtube vids.

Anyway I got a short story of my dad having to work with a poltergeist
>Dad used to work at a truck depot as a mechanic/fitter/electrician
>Used to work nights a lot on his own with the only other person around being security on the front gate which was 1/4 mile away
>Stuff starts happening in the garage like doors opening and closing by themselves ect
>Tools moving off the work bench
>Creepy shit but dad couldn't saw fuck this and bolt because he would lose his job
>Eventually started calling him Peter the Poltergeist
>When stuff happened he wouldn't shout but just say "pack it in Peter" which usually helped
>One night he is working on the electrics on a truck.
>Both him an a Scottish bloke (the driver) are in the cab
>An iron H girder (like the stuff you see on the backs and sides of trailers to prevent cars going under) lifts itself from the work bench and flys into the garage doors creating a hole in them
>"For fuck sake Peter!"
>Scottish bloke scared shitless
>Small enquiry into how the doors became damaged but it eventually came back as inconclusive
>Reason being, it would take a couple of men to lift one of these girders and simply impossible to create the hole
>Stuff like doors and tools moving continued until dad left due to illness in early 90s
>Whole compound was levelled for housing in 03

Might be longer than expected but that's the story. Goodnight lads.

>>34200485
Night lad dont let the spooks get you

>>34200485
night lad, not long for me just gotta obey the roll then it's sleepu time for me

Had my jobcentre interview today. Work coach is really nice, seemed to be very lenient regarding some health issues I'm having.

>come home one night
>see this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOgSiPNi-dE&

what do

>>34200641
yank voice
tristan
gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8

>>34199418
It's the gnome that's been haunting me for the last few months, all my housemates abandoned me because they thought I was the gnome but I'm not and it makes me sad they thought that

also he keeps leaving maggots on my kitchen floor and rearranging my furniture

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>>34200747
here we go again

deusdesuudes

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>been using sanitizing hand gel to ward off the norovirus
>start feeling unwell
>read that hand gel doesn't have any effect on the virus

Who here /insomnia/?

I only get it very occasionally but tonight I've been trying to sleep since 12. My plan:

> set early alarm
> go into work early
> do a few hours and go home with laptop
> nap
> back to work

Think it'll work?

>>34201050
the placebo effect could have saved you lad, you're fucked now

>>34201369
>almost 4am
>have to get up at 7:30
fuck my entire life up familios

>>34201369
think i slept from about 11:40 - 2 already so not tired at all now

sometimes i dont manage to sleep on a night then i tell work i'm working from home for some reason, then kinda just lay on the sofa falling in and out of sleep every 30 mins

>>34201399

That's a great plan and one I've utilised before but unfortunately I've left my laptop in the office

Goodnight, /britfeel/!
Please ward off the goblins while I sleep. Please and thank you!

>>34201414
ahh your plan sounds pretty solid then.
Also the benefit of making an appearance earlier usually means no one bothers you unless it's important in the afternoon anyway. Can just chill and snooze until the early evening

>>34201371
Oh god I hope not, my ass has been seeping burning poo liquid for hours now inbetween all the toilet visits.

>>34201479

Thanks, anon. I can't take an actual sick day because I'm traveling tomorrow and will need to grab my laptop whatever. I'm gonna look an absolute mess so I don't think there'll be too much questioning