How my parents ruined my life (venting)

The reason I can't get a girlfriend is 100% my parents fault, because they never taught me intimacy. Intimacy is like a taboo to me. The very idea of even holding hands with someone makes my face red. It seems wrong, let along making out or having sex. Even the idea of having a officially having a girlfriend makes me majorly uncomfortable. I wish I could say I've learned from my mistakes but I haven't. Cause I'm not making "mistakes", my mind just goes into panic mode and I don't know what to do. I remember one time this girl who liked me kept asking me if I liked anyone on ask.fm (it was anonymous but I knew it was her) and I said no, even though the feeling the mutual. Had I said yes I probably wouldn't still be a virgin, but here I am.

>tfw the depression's coming back again

TL;DR My parents were more like friends than an actual couple, so I never learned what a real relationship was supposed to be. Intimacy with another human being is a taboo for me.

2/2

Take some fucking responsibility, fag

>>34176409
Same

>>>34175317

Parents fucking suck

>>34176519
even it was my fault at this point it doesn't matter, I need help

>>34176667
Things won't get any better until you take personal responsibility

>>34176409
>>34176424
Elliott is that you?

Literally not one thing about your mediocre, tedious, whining story has anything at all to do with why you're a bitch.

You ruined your own life by choosing to be a weak, ineffectual cunt who can't take responsibility for his shit choices. Fuck you. Fuck off.

>>34176409
Most adult problems come from childhood meaning it's ultimately parents fault
There is all kinds of people, there is people that go through hell on earth and manage to get over it and there is people that in comparison what they went through seems mild and can't get past it
Human beings live on the same planet but in completely different worlds and we could never hope to understand one another, what you went through is yours and yours alone and noatter what anyone tells you you are the one stuck dealing with it and if ultimately you can't you shouldn't be judged for it because you can't not you wont and it's something nobody can help you with either because we live in different worlds

>>34177349
Why I'm like how I am is not my fault. People learn from what they're exposed to and that's what will ultimately shape their standard of "normal" and how they'll judge the world. I'm sorry my story was tedious to you but anyone with experiences even remotely similar could relate to what I'm feeling. You don't relate because you don't nor will you ever have the same problems I do, so your opinion really isn't helpful and calling me a weak cunt doesn't change anything. I know that. My entire family is full of weak cunts who can't take responsibility and I'm no different

>>34176995
honestly if I was a little richer and not so goddamn timid I'd probably be just like him. luckily though I know it's not anyone else's fault but me and my family so I probably won't go psycho like him unless something extremely drastic happens

I feel you OP, my life is exactly like that. People will tell you to take responsibility, as if that will suddenly change your upbringing or the type of character you are now. Like if that will suddenly bring back the crucial parts of your development.

People who post shit like that don't understand anything about neurology or brain synapsis.
They don't understand that your brain focuses more on the things you did during your mid and late teens and slowly starts pruning out the things you didn't focus on.

So if your parents kept you isolated all your ducking life, of course your gonna grow up with problems.

The only people who escape are those that are able to cut out the toxicity at a young age.

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>>34176409
Take responsibility for your own life Anon. Rise above your selfish feelings of injustice and entitlement. We each have our roles to play - we do not get to choose what they are - only how well we perform.

>>34176424
>father was always away on business
>father works in film industry
>parents hated each other
>depressed
>virgin
Are you Elliot Rodger?

>>34177487
>Human beings live on the same planet but in completely different worlds
This is deep, anon.

>>34176409
None of this is your fault for being a screw up anon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCofmZlC72g

>>34177487
This is why I'll never have kids.
>implying I'll ever get laid

Just one tiny mistake in raising them when they're little and 20 years later they're posting on /r9k/ or shooting up schools.

>>34177487
>>34177812
Thank you
>>34177838
I'm actually going to take this into consideration from now on. Injustice and entitlement is a huge problem for me and I think it's tearing my relationships between my family and friends apart. I resent my dad so much for not taking responsibility for cheating, and blaming my younger sister for 'tearing apart our family' for showing my mom the evidence, as if he thought she had some vendetta against him. I also resent many of my friends for being general lowlives, manipulative, overly-competitive, lying, etc. I really should try to let these things go, but I have this urge to try to fix them. I want to call out their wrong-doings to urge them to be better but all it ever seems to do is make them feel bad about themselves temporarily then make me out to be an asshole, which is understandable as my techniques are kind of harsh.
>>34177849
wow I thought the other guy was meming me but the similarities really are there. shit dude
some of my friends even say I look like a school shooter back when I wore this field jacket esque parka to school

>>34176854
Pull yourself by your own bootstraps, even though mine were pulled up for me!

>>34178419
the bootstraps meme triggers the fuck out of me

I know how you feel about intimacy being taboo. Even as an adult I feel incredibly uncomfortable during a kiss scene or durex commercial while watching something with my parents. I never talk about girls because it just seems like something personal, and that there is no reason for my parents to my (lack of) love life. I don't know why it's this way, but now I can't ever show anyone that I love them because my parents never showed me how. Really all I ever wanted was an awkward talk from my dad about how to make a move on a girl or safe sex.

>>34176409
my mother hated my father, she walked around the house muttering about how much she wanted to kill herself and him. Desu it really fucked me up. They also fought pretty often when I was really young, and the most intimacy I got to see was a kiss goodbye and hello. They also alienate me from anyone my age by being super overprotective, so I never learned how to interact with other people my age. desu I could keep going but I hate talking about or thinking of my parents.

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My mother and father are both genetically inferior ugly socially awkward loners who are split and hate each other and have never really had a relationship outside of their brief get together to have me. They have few friends, no hobbies, and nothing to look forward to. I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to end up the same way if I don't cash in soon.

>>34179060
My father tried to kill himself by drinking gallons of alcohol every day for months straight. When I found him he was on the floor in a puddle of piss.

There were bits of shit all over the house because he was so weak and drunk he'd shit himself before getting to the bathroom.
He'd had a stroke.
He's now even more suicidal, he lost motor function in half his body and he calls me everyday.

>>34179307
It's good that you're around to help him, anon

>>34179307
>My father tried to kill himself by drinking gallons of alcohol every day for months straight.

Man if this was effective I'd be way less scared to commit suicide.

>>34179060
roll

>>34179344
I'm happy he's still alive. But he's so depressed, and apparently he drunk so much a big part of his skull is water instead of brain, so he's kinda losing it, too, it's horrible.

He also always asks me why my mom doesn't love him anymore and why she cheats on him.

She doesn't sleep with other men, but he has paranoia, and to be fair it's true that she hasn't loved him for many years.
Sometimes while I'm talking to him he'll kinda realize what he's done to himself and his family and he'll get angry, and I'll get teary-eyed and sad and that makes him angrier because he hates being pitied more than anything.

>>34179374
The way he did it, he was really damn close. Did I mention he literally couldn't shit in the bathroom properly? Didn't shave, didn't take baths, he barely ate at all. He went like this for at least 2 years. I wish I could have put him in a center, but I couldn't do anything without his consent and he preferred to continue dying in his filth.

>>34179480
>continue dying in his filth.

carbon monoxide poisoning it is

I'm sorry to hear about your father anon.

>>34176409
>My father was hardly ever around, since he worked in the film industry and often had to travel

eliot? are you back?

>>34179687
I am, and he is too. At least my mom is happy, enjoying monthly trips to Mexico and Europe with her middle-aged single girlfriends on our money, while he rots in a center.

Here is the problem with your argument. You're suggesting that of the billions of people to have every lived there are zero who have ever triumphed against equal or worse circumstances. That's ludicrous.

I don't doubt that your situation may be worse than mine because of circumstances outside of your control. I don't dispute the fact that the odds may be stacked cruelly against you. From the sound of it you're correct. However I firmly reject the notion that there aren't people beating such odds every day. Do you? If so, on what grounds?

Life isn't fair. I'm sorry. But that doesn't lead to this fatalist conclusion. If you want to give up because you thing the challenges you face are too many, then fine. But you owe it to yourself to at least acknowledge the truth that you're giving up. I have zero sympathy for you if you're trying to ignore that fact. It's just intellectual lazy. At least have the mental fortitude to acknowledge that you're making a choice.

>>34180415
not OP but I figured I should interject

Here is the problem with your argument. You're suggesting that life can be solved by just 'working hard'. I'm not gonna lie and say that's not a part of it, it absolutely is, in fact it's a decent part of it. However just 'working hard' isn't enough, you point to people who succeeded in the face of adversity, the select few lucky enough to do so, and say 'replicate that' while not pointing to the people who failed- the vast majority. You point to the Mike Tyson's and ignore the common, average joe who's failed in every way but in mediocrity. Understand that the world isn't 'Work Hard = Success' the world is 'Work Hard, look good, have an inspiring story, and a lot of luck = success'

>>34176409

Nothing is ever your fault you are just a product of your environment

>>34181464
I suggest nothing of the sort. I'm only saying that poor circumstances aren't a guarantee of failure. Surely you don't dispute that.

I'm only saying that choosing not to work hard is an active decision to throw in the towel. I don't think that OP can say with zero certainty that there is no hope remaining for him and he has nothing to lose by dropping out of society.

>>34181544
>I firmly reject the notion that there aren't people beating such odds every day.
The very, very lucky few
Tbh I don't see the point in trying to bust my ass and having things not get better at all than just being a NEET.

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>>34176409
OP I went through a similar set of life events with a similar outcome

You have to accept it OP. You need to accept that it happened and that it change you,but that you'd rather fight against fate than be a sad cuck

>>34181633
Fine. I'm only saying that you should be honest with yourself that that is what you're doing. It isn't true that you were just deprived of any hope before you even began.