Haha, can you imagine being older than 18 and still being a virgin!?

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>>34174496
>Haha, can you imagine being older than 18 and still being a virgin!?
Yes I can.

>congratulations senors

What do you expect from Mexicans, age of consent is like 15 there

>>34174496

The word here is "female".
Same movie with a male MC and it becomes the 40-Year-Old Virgin.

It really tells something about society's expectations. Reality may vary from it, of course.

>>34174496
I can't,because sticking my dick in a woman won't make my life any better,it'll probably make it worse.

>>34174496
holy shit...I cant even.... WTF????

>>34174496

The entire cast of this movie is in their early thirties

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>>34174496
You retards act like it's a disability or something. That's beneath me.

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>>34174548
12 :^)
>tfw youre a grill in the country with "age of consent: puberty"

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>Kate is about to graduate. Her biggest dream is to have sex with Ryan Lambert. The only problem is that Ryan refuses to have sex with a virgin. This leads to a hunt for another man to lose her virginity to so she finally can have her dream prince.

This attractive female is going to have a hard time losing her virginity, I feel bad for her.

>>34176101
Welp, time to take a vacation down in central America!

Lost my virginity at 16. Ha!

>>34174496
Joke is on you, I don't have to imagine!

>>34175616
I knowwwwww... seriously.... r there people like this for real?? 0_O

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>>34176101
>puberty

origina lcomment

All the normies on the local yik yak feed are complaining about the living hell they had to endure not having a fwb over winter break

>>34176213

I can't... Wtf?
Who wrote that movie??

>>34176213
>be me 18 yo female
>want chad's dick
>he doesn't want me because I'm a virgin
>has to fuck a beta to fuck chad

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>over at friends house last night
>his fiancee had some of her friends over
>they all talked about how they were having sex and sucking dick as early as 15
Then people wonder why i'm celibate at 24. All women are used up whores before they even hit 18.

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>>34174496
I was a virgin up until 1 month before turning 19. Hell I didn't even see my first dick until then too.

>femanon, inb4 fag

>>34177689
Man, I think it's time for some greentext.

>Be 17 yo virgin.
>Just got done with all-boys high school, starting mixed cegep (That's between HS and College for you non-French-Canadians)
>Always been a depressed, loner nerdy fuck.
>Got a babyface going on, 6' tall and I hit the gym though.
>At the start of my program, we do a school thing where we go to a camp and the Chads get laid.
>I think "Hey I'll get to kayak a bit I guess, when I'm not being lonely in my tent reading retarded fantasy".
>All is going well, I found four other nerds to commiserate with, three of them I know from HS.
>Enjoying the social humiliation from the higher ups of the social ladder while I wait for this to be over.
Cont.

>>34176101

>the colors don't line up with the map at all

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>>34177845
>Finally, last evening of the camp weekend comes about.
>I'm socially retarded, but kinda handy, so I light the campfire.
>Sit on a log while Chads and Stacies get inebriated with smuggled-in vodka.
>While I ponder the reasons why I might be such a fuck up, a small voice pierces the ruckus of the socializing that surrounds me.
>"Hey, that was pretty cool."
>I turn around to see who is speaking and why they're speaking in my direction, since they're obviously not speaking to me.
>She's a small asian girl, maybe 5'2". Looks kinda like pic related, but with a smaller nose, glasses, and less filters.
>She's not super cute, but she's the cutest person to have talked to me outside of my family in my whole life.

>>34178116 cont.
>Me:"Huh?"
>"I was saying, it's pretty cool how you started the fire, where'd you learn?"
>I autistically explain to her the intricacies of firestarting, surviving in a forest, eating wild fruits and more retarded bullshit that stunted my social development.
>Curfew comes about and I give her an awkward "Uh, ciao" before running away"
>Spaghetti producing facilities are running full steam at this point, I spend the night feeling my heart beat so fucking hard and feeling (deservingly) retarded for not giving my name when she gave me hers.
>Back to school.
>During the first week she comes to speak to me during dinner from time to time.
>My ego is so fucking boosted at this point I might as well be Chad.
>Little did I know, my hopes would soon crash down.

>>34178116
More cont plz
Oregano

>>34178432
aight

>>34178281 cont
>At some point a Chad starts picking on me and laughing at me about Asian girl talking to me.
>He's talking with some girl with a jew nose and glasses and making her laugh while I play emulated pokemon on my phone at the back of the class.
>She looks at me and laughs and I start silently seething because despite all those years of practice, I'm still not used to being humiliated by my peers.
>During one period he even asks for my number even though I don't really know it, I give it because I'm intimidated by his Chad vibes.
>No, he's not homosex, it was to troll me. He drops a paper with my number in Jew-nose girl's bag.
>A bit later I get a text saying "Haha lol is that Anon".
>I'm horrified by his audacity and genius.
>Instead of getting his hands dirty and bullying me traditionally, he set me up to humiliate myself in front of a female.
>Thinking I'm being a nimble navigator and avoiding his trap, I ignore her text.

>>34178580
How long is this?
Cont?

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>>34178580
>The next day, I see them (Jew-nose and Chad) talking to each other and laughing.
>I hope they're not fomenting some new bullying strategy and I go sit at the back.
>After spending most of the class thinking of incredibly cute Asian-girl is (She's really not that cute, that's just me getting oneitis), I get ambushed while walking down the hall.
>I was just walking, when two arms grab me at the waist, and I receive the first non-family female hug of my life.
>A few things happen in quick succession here.
>First, I notice for the first time that Jew-nose has pretty big tits.
>Second, I realize Jew-nose is hugging me.
>Third, I hear Chad laughing like a madman.
Motherfuck
btw pic related is very similar to Jew-nose

>>34178693
Pretty long, thread's probably gonna die before I finish.

>>34178751
>I grab her arms and shove her off.
>That much physical contact has put the bolognese machine in overdrive, so I'm red as a overripe tomato.
>I yell at her "What's your fucking problem, don't fucking touch me" like the huge down-syndromed bastard I am.
>Meanwhile Chad's is still bent over like he's getting a private lap dance from Louis C.K.
>Jew-nose had a look of what I interpreted as utter disgust on her face.
>I run off before I start crying from the humiliation and stress.

>After this event Chad continues hanging arund me and teasing me, and Jew-nose also stays close.
>Close to Chad, well that's what I think back then.

>The daily agony goes on, with short bursts of happiness when Asian-girl gives me positive attention.

>>34178751
Welp i'm off to get some sleep
Bye anon have a good night.

>>34178751
More cont please

>>34178903
See ya.

>>34179134
Aight.

>>34178885
>Two weeks into the semester.
>Despite the bullying, my confidence is at an all-time high thanks so Asian-girl.
>She's my angel and my savior, I'm thinking of how good a husband I'll be and how happy our life together will be.
>For the only time in my life I'm thinking "Hey, maybe I made it".
>Mind you, I haven't even touched her yet, except on the ride from the camp when she fell asleep and her head rested on my shoulder (Which fuelled many fap sessions to come).
>The class goes to see a play in a theater for the French class.
>I watch the play sitting next to her, I joke around, I'm being a real Chad.

>>34179262
>I even do a thing where I'm describing a scene of the play to other, fellow Chads while Asian-girl is standing next to me, and I go "And then, the actor grabbed her like this!" and then I grab Asian-girl by the waist.
>Literally haven't had those confidence levels since I was three months old and I was ordering my mom around by screaming and crying.
>While walking back from the theater, Asian-girl goes "Hey Anon, a bunch of Chads are going to the bar there! Let's go!"
>We enter. My first time in a bar, wew. I'm underage, too, but I'm not worried, because I am become Chad, destroyer of robots.
>Remember the three nerdy friends from my HS? One of them follows me in. Chad and Jew-nose from my class are there too.
>In the bar, having a good time, actually socializing with people.
>It's the first time in my life I'm interacting with humans and I'm not stuck in my head.
>Jew-nose girl comes to talk to me a few times but I scorn her, since I have grown arrogant and I'm still salty about what she did to me.
>I tell my nerdy friend to go talk to her because I see him looking at her.
>Literally a "Just be yourself bro!"-tier Chad.
>Meanwhile, Asian-girl stays close to me for the whole night, we play and lose a game of babyfoot together, and instead of being depressed about it, I laugh it off.
>Confidence is like a drug.

>>34179552
>Been drinking for the whole night and the social lubricant has made me Chadder than ever.
>We go sit somewhere and start taking tequila shots.
>She does a magic trick where I put a card in my mouth, she puts one in hers, she gives me a quick chaste peck on the lips and lo and behold, the cards have been exchanged.

Btw I still have this card, 4 years later.

>At some point she puts her hand on my thigh and one thing follows the other, we are making out in the corner of the bar.
>I notice that my nerdy friend is doing the same with Jew-nose out of the corner of my eye, and my mind kinda goes blank.
That's one girl gone.
>We do that for a while, and then, noticing how hungry for her I am, she asks me "Haha how long has it been since you've been with someone like that?"
>My drunk self goes "Uh, a while I guess heh".
>Then her expression changes completely, like she realized something.
>She gets off of me and we walk out.
>I'm still in a daze and I haven't really realized what happened.

>>34179552
A very oregano-bump

bumpu bumpu i wanna read the storu

>>34179757
Indeed!

>>34179751
>As we walk home she gives me speech on how she's "Sure you're gonna find yourself a nice girl to lose it with Anon, it's gonna be fine, I'm just not comfortable it's too much pressure blahblahblah"
>She's clearly less drunk than I am. I don't really listen I just nod along and walk her home.
>I can barely walk straight and the subways are closed, so I call one of my nerdy friends who lives close (Not the one who got with Jew-nose) and ask if I can crash.
>Go to his house, drunkenly tell him about my adventures, except the part where she got disgusted with my virgin self.
>He nods along and I go to sleep.

>>34177689
God damn this. Fucking 15? What are these stupid bitches thinking? That relationship isn't gonna last! You were 12 three years ago! It's fucking mind boggling

>>34179900
>I only realize the extent of my misery on the next day.
>Chad-Anon? Dead.
>Confidence? Shattered.
>My old, depressed, miserable self? Back in force.

>The next time I see her she avoids looking at my eyes, and I'm too destroyed to attempt to speak to her.
>My nerdy friend (I call him nerdy, but I'm just as if not more nerdy) is beaming though, spending most of his time around Jew-nose.
>At some point in class I'm talking to nerdy friend #2.
>He's kinda nerdy, but he's honestly a pretty handsome guy.
>Anyway, Asian-girl starts talking to us and while I'm sperging and hyperventilating, her and my friend start getting along.
>She keeps up talking to him for while, and they start dating.
>This tears me apart even more, because I know he was a virgin too... Before meeting her.
Two girls gone.

>>34180214
so she stopped talking just because you were a virgo before this?

>>34180214
>After that, I pretty much go back to how I was before.
>Seeing my two friends, who were about where I was socially at the start of the year, doing so well with their cute gfs fucking kills me everyday.
>I regret so hard not going for Jew-nose, cuz her nose ain't so big and she does have great tits.
>And seeing that Asian-girl went for my other friend tells me that I was just too ugly a virgin for her to settle with.
>A year goes by.

>>34180305
Yeah, pretty much. She realized while we were making out, and that's why the "session" ended.

my gf is a 30 year old virgin with bpd

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>>34174496
I don't need to imagine anon

>>34176101
This meme needs to die already

>>34180359
could I get a tl;dr please

>>34180359
>Been going to school hanging out with my few friends and their girlfriends.
>You know how two of those friends are going.
>The third one has joined a band and has gone full normie, still hasn't gotten a girlfriend though.
>Maybe to help me forget my past failures, I start developing oneitis for another girl in my class.
>Btw, this is near the end of the school year.
>So a bit less than a year since the play at the theater.
>One day I go ask her if she's irish because she has a Guinness logo on her shirt.
>She laughs a bit.
>This one isn't like the other two. She's actually beautiful.
>7/10 face, slender, firm body (She's a skater).
>Starts eating with us.
>Actually going surprisingly well, I walk her to the bus a few times.

>>34180596
I'll make one when I'm done.

>>34180596
not him, but I can make the story into three lines
>robot meets qt girl
>robot makes out with qt girl
>qt girl discovers robot is viring and dumps him

Lost mine at 19. The feels.

>>34180395
>bpd

??? wtf

>>34180359
>The current millenium
Being and highschool and not doing any of the following:
>Doing escorts to get that there confidence
>Getting shitty easy to erase tatoos so people won't peg you as a virgin
>Re-selling shit online to get money and a car
>Lifting and stimulants

I don't understand how people can still be losers in highschool with the wealth of information that exists online.

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>Meanwhile Chad's is still bent over like he's getting a private lap dance from Louis C.K.

>>34180629
Lol but that's only the first arc Anon.

>>34180623 cont.
>School year ends.
>I take her skating during the summer break (It's Canada, we have skating rinks, deal with it).
>Then my father kind of attempts suicide.
>Depression, stay with his at first comatose, then handicapped, depressed and still suicidal self, etc.
>Kind of wanna kill myself too.
>School starts up again, back in my shell in force.
>I don't spend much time with other people because the fact they're mostly happy frustrates the hell out of me.
>My birthday comes around, all the previously mentioned friends convince me to have a party in my basement.
>In there, sipping beer, Skater invited herself but even though I still want her I'm too depressed to act on it.
>We all start going for a beer run.
>Except Skater, she goes "Uh, actually I'll stay here to clean up a bit".
>Ignore her and then she goes "Anon it's your basement, don't you want to help me?"
>Look at her blankly, process that she's asking me to stay alone with me in my basement for half an hour.
>"Nah, bye"
>As soon as I say that I turn around and run off to join the others.
>I see her leave my house ten seconds after us and go back to her house with the speed of a thousand Ferreros.
>In the next few days, she continues eating with us. But she's mostly talking with my third friend now.

>>34180770
You'd be amazed by the lengths some people go to stay miserable.

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>>34180893
>Yup, as expected, Skater got with with my friend in a band.
>Fastforward to a year later.
>Chilling with those six, my three friends and Asian-girl, Jew-nose and Skater.
>We're playing one of those retarded normie games with cards and dares and questions like "If you have a piercing, you HAVE to show it" or "Take three shots or kiss the bellybutton of the friend to your right".
>A question comes up.
>The dreaded question.
>It's a question where one person answers and then the next person in a clockwise manner and it goes on forever until someone chugs.
>"Who's the last person you've had sex with? Chug if you've ran out of names."
>Starts to my left, so I get some time for my utter terror to build up.
>"Haha friend #1 of course."
>"Asian-girl C:"
>"Jew-Nose heh"
>"Friend #2, duh"
>"Skater! :)"
>"Friend #3"

>They all look at me with this fucking look of innocent curiosity.
>"No one"
>Somehow managed to not stutter.
>Chug my beer.
>They all look at me with an equal mix of sadness, pity, and just the tiniest bit of surprise.
>We all realize at the same time that even though all the girls here were interested in me at some point, I still ended up being the virgin.
>What the fuck is wrong with me.

Pic related.

And now, the promised TL;DR:
Actually could have easily gotten a girlfriend thrice, cucked myself and pushed them on my friends instead.

>>34180770
>Doing escorts to get that there confidence
Paying for sex is less than beta than not having it? I doubt it.
>Getting shitty easy to erase tatoos so people won't peg you as a virgin
???
The great lengths you go just to appeal to people is disturbing.
>Re-selling shit online to get money and a car
Some people don't have that much shit. Not everyone is a spoiled faggot.

>>34174496
>Kate is about to graduate. Her biggest dream is to have sex with Ryan Lambert.
>The only problem is that Ryan refuses to have sex with a virgin.
>This leads to a hunt for another man to lose her virginity to so she finally can have her dream prince.
fucking roasties

>>34181305
>Paying for sex is less than beta than not having it? I doubt it.
Touching a woman> Being KHV turbo beta
>???
>The great lengths you go just to appeal to people is disturbing.
People with tatoos rarely get labeled as virgins. Being a virgin is a guaranteed turn off for most women.
>Some people don't have that much shit. Not everyone is a spoiled faggot.
Not really, you just need a few thousand to get started, i made my starting money stealing cars and selling MDMA tho, so i see your point.

PS: Most best sellers on Amazon come straight through aliexpress.

I lost my virginity by cucking my best friend in highschool who is still a virgin

Feels bad man but it was hot so I don't know, fuck

>>34181325
It's actually a pretty typical modern-female mindset. Fucking another guy as practice for the guy she's actually interested in.

>>34181675
Apparently she wouldn't fuck him because I kept making her pussy too sore and then she told him that his average dick was too small and she didn't want it which destroyed his confidence . I was the one who made her a size queen

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I don't need to imagine

>>34174496
LMAO!!!!! What kind of loser is still a virgin at that age?!?

>>34181250
>Actually could have easily gotten a girlfriend thrice, cucked myself and pushed them on my friends instead.

You can NOT make this shit up

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>>34181983
You indeed can't. It's nice to have all my romantic failures written out like that, it feels cathartic somehow.

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>>34181250
The fact that knowing the three girls you liked (or possibly still did) have fucked your own friends makes it all the more tragic.

>27 year old virgin
>tfw to normals you're only one step under mythological creature

So, the movie is less than half an hour?

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>>34182391
Damn right.
I'm not really in love with any of them anymore, but sometimes in the night I go down the "What could have been?" rabbithole and I spend hours just regretting so hard.

I hope one day I get over it. Probably won't until I actually find myself a girl.

>>34181734
if you ever want to make up for it, you have to let him fuck you.

>>34181734
She told you that so you didn't feel bad. His dick was actually so huge intercourse was impossible.

>>34174548
Actually the age of consent is low as shit anywhere in the world.
That's because teens fuck each other, but for some reason aside special teacher/student cases almost nobody bothered putting clauses impeding >18yo people to fuck little teens.

>>34182498


You have no reason to be sad desu, in two cases you have made your own choice, you have to live with it.
So many anons here never got to choose,you should not be expecting someone to feel pity for you.

>>34177845
>That's between HS and College for you non-French-Canadians)

>French-Canadian

stopped fucking reading there.

>>34174496
TFW 27 year old virgin

>>34183018
I'm not looking for pity, I'm actually pleasantly surprised most of the answers aren't "Ree you're not a KHV get out normie".

I guess I just wanted to get stuff off my chest.

>>34183024
Eille, tue toi calisse! Ostie de crisse de tabarnak de cave.

>>34183018
>What the fuck is wrong with me
Probably autism you literally pushed them all away. The Asian one was kind of weird, you should of said you weren't a virgin.

>>34183206
Yeah, I messed up on this one. I was really quite drunk though. Doesn't excuse it, but explains it.
I also literally didn't process she had denied me until the next day.

>>34176213
Im fucking plying Chad wouldn't want ti fucka a pure virgin. What's the thinking behind this plot?
>I want another guy to cum inside you first before I'll fuck you

>>34174496
Those guys look atleast 25.

>completely obvious bait thread that took no effort
>almost 100 replies
every fucking time
come on guys..

>>34174496
I lost my virginity at 21
My girlfriend at the time used to make fun of me, she lost her v card at 13

>>34181599
>i made my starting money stealing cars and selling MDMA tho, so i see your point.
What are you doing on r9k then? Stealing cars and selling drugs is alpha. You realize you are in the wrong place? Most of us are autists whose greatest accomplishments are related to video games and nerdy shit. We are called robots for a fucking reason. Robots don't have feelings or aspirations. We have routines. And we have escapism. This is the wrong place for you bro.

>>34181250
Its ok anon, so youve never had sex, but then again youve never done a buch of other things either and youve also done a bunnch of things. Ultimately the whole virgin/not a virgin thing is pretty arbitrary

>>34180660
Oh wow...Did you consider a suicide as a valid option for not losing your virginity at 11, like every normal human being?

>>34185477
Except for the whole lack of affection and warmth part. Retard.

>>34183301
> Naaah...I'm not a virgin.
> Lasts 2 min.
> She thinks that you're never going to improve
It's always better to say that you're a virgin

>>34176213
So this is why stupid sluts think for some reason that men don't like virgins. Fuck I hate this. i know so many virgin girls who have said something similar to this. They want to lose their virginity to be a better cocksleave for Chad.