/britfeel/

>tfw bent

>>34171190
>tfw have mental issues and want to be a woman
kill me

>>34171203
You'll kill yourself sooner or later so why should I bother

6th for still stuck in East Devon

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5th for waifu posting

>>34171203
do you want to dress up like a girl and we can act like little girl anime lesbians together

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>>34171245

Reporting in with Yukari

>>34171215
most might but not all of them do

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>>34171245
Hope you don't mind if I add a cheeky husbando post, Karen anon.

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>>34171245
>tfw no time travelling gf to make everything ok

>>34171168
>tfw you'll never die in the name of God during the Peasants Crusade
Feels bad

>>34171289
>old shape ford focus
nice cars them

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>>34171298
Well if we're doing husbando posts

>>34171203

Don't let your dreams be dreams!

>>34171298

Rolos are bad sweets.

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>>34171378
There is nothing better than a Tunnock's tea cake

>>34171373
When is Mummy May going to build a similar mine filled with gambling?

>>34171378
Take that back you little shit. Rolos are pure.

Might order some barbecues lads.

>>34171402

They're pretty top, I'll give you that.

>>34171419
>Take that back you little shit. Rolos are pure.

Aye, pure shite.

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I gotta get up at 6 tomorrow and I'm on my 6th beer

>>34171203
>>34171282
can i loosen up your boipuccis ?

>>34171168
I'm sick of Uni lads, it's just one big meme that I've yet to enjoy since day one. I'm sure I could do better, most people tend to become managers of McDonalds with degrees anyway.

I have 900/4000 words for my essay and I'm not going to work on it anymore.
How to I tell my prof?
I have no motivation or willpower to write it anymore

>>34171440
Mind if i join?


Origamimimi

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>>34171245
Lads, I really, really want a hikikomori gf like Mado. How on earth do I meet one on the internet, at least.?

>>34171458
That's fucking it me laddo. Give me your name, now. It's going in the book.

>>34171488
What are you writing about? Also 4000 words. Easy mode

>>34171470
I know how you feel. My entire university experience has been nothing but avoiding work, half arsing going to lectures and drinking myself in a drunken stupor. it's been miserable.

>>34171373
>tfw no kaiji best friend

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>>34171298
>>34171402
Big fan of brit+anime mashup OC

>>34171516
He has a point. Rolos are shit, I'd take fucking revels over them.

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>>34171581
They are pretty fun.

>>34171581
>sharing a single box of Jaffas
I don't believe this image for a second.

>>34171596
I can't believe what I'm reading.
If you don't mind I'm going to go have a bit of a cry and try to not think about how much further we're straying from god's light.

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>>34171516

You can call me Gordo Blackstone.

Having a lovely bit of marmite toast lads. Rasperry jam for afters.

>>34171168

All the effort that went into building the British Empire was worth it, to secure a cheap reliable source of tea and access to colonial women.

>>34171636
>bender with a husbando
>talks about straying from God's light
Come on now, you daft poof

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why are videogames so hard

I think I might go cold turkey once my CPU packs in

>>34171637
Not Gordo Blackstone! I'm sorry I ever troubled you, sir.

>>34171676
Well that's just rude. I'm not going to save you during the gay uprising we're doing in 2020 now.

>>34171714
We are you playing 2hu or some shit? If so, no wonder it's hard.

>>34171496

I'd rather do it alone desu

>>34171714
Just play some Lego games. They're easy both in terms of difficulty and on your cpu. They're also fun and comfy.

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who's your favourite british pornstar? I claim ellie roe.

>>34171738
>the gay uprising we're doing in 2020 now.

Is this just for full gays? Because I like a bit of fanny too. Plus I was bumming someone a couple of weeks ago and he didn't mention an uprising.

Maybe he thought I was tainted

>>34171745
nah

a mediocre RTS I have like 800hrs in over the years

>>34171754
I'll probably just play through the weeb JRPG's on my steam list, more comfy like you say

>>34171771
thinly veiled attempt to steer the chat back to fat cunts

nope

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>>34171738
>Only three more years until the stacies are purged, and our twilight paradise is established until mankind fades into nothingness in <100 years

Remember to lower their suspicion until 2020 though, see pic related for an example

>>34171364
Yeah I love mine.

It might not be anything special but it's comfy to drive and it's my baby. Want to get the windows tinted at some point but it's finding someone who will make a good job of it and who will do the fronts as well.

>>34171781
shes not fat she's thick there's a difference

>>34171776
>>34171798
Fuck I let it slip in my anger, sorry lads.
And yeah all types of gays are allowed as long as you're not straight, can't wait.
Heard there's gonna be a Barbecue and Cher's playing.

>>34171831
No, she's fat. Just less fat

>>34171608
Guretoburiten in the corner written in katakana is a nice touch

>>34171831
shes obese mate

desu

>>34171203
Amy? Is that you? Have you finally stopped repressing?

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>tfw bought 5 tubs of baileys haagen dasz because it was 2 quid for a tub

>>34171714
are you going to murder that poor anon when you meet up?

I'm also shit at videogames, over 6khours in dota for a mediocre MMR

>>34171876
Do you even like baileys haagen dazs?

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>>34171771

> tfw no kitten_sophie gf

>>34171876
Not bad at all m8, but you're going to be rolling around your bedsit if you keep that up

>>34171875
No, I wish I could repress and live a normal life ;_;

>>34171887
Yeah it's alright

>>34171891
I bet you wish you were a savvy buyer like me

>>34171832
>Heard there's gonna be a Barbecue

Result.

>>34171890
disgusting, she's way to skinny

>>34171932
Alright fatty lad calm down.

First for back at uni

>>34171876
>2 quid for a tub of haagen dazs

Where do you live that you can get deals like this?

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>>34171771
This kino goddess.

I had hoped to fuck her for money but she doesn't escort.

>>34171922
Jelly of your deal and your dubs desu

>>34171939
Come fuck my neighbour. She is fucking rancid, pig-like and truly disgusting. you'd love her.

>>34171949
I think it's a nationwide sale at Morrisons. I don't often go into the frozen section but I passed by and I thought "Hmm what the fuck that's a fucking deal".

>>34171974
Shit meant to link
>>34171932

not
>>34171939

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Look at the medallion /britfeel/
Look and don't look away

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I should have gone walking tonight, im bored shitless and feeling too lazy to get ready and go out

>>34171974
I bet I would, I only masturbate to fat slags anyway

What is the yank equivalent of all our channels BBC, ITV, C4 and 5?

>>34171885
Are you any good at dota? I've never touched it

I'm more scared of him really he has a weird fetish for crossdressing with another boy

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>>34171997
Fuck off, you cwel.

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>>34172038
highest I got was 4.8k MMR which is a bit above average but I lost over 1000 now im back to high 3k/4k again which is shit for my time investment

thats my biggest fetish too, maybe I should have contacted him instead

https://xhamster.com/movies/5383316/2_cosplay_sissies_playing.html

>tfw i'll never do this with another anon

>>34172190
That's pretty fucking gay, lad. I hope you're willing to deal with the repercussions

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>>34171245
ged da fug oud >:DDDDDDD

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>>34172115
it was never a gay contact thing

it just kind of turned into that from being friends, we always had a little crush on each other though

>>34172190
I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind doing this with a guy

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>>34172243
>I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind doing this with a guy
Right...

>>34171905
Well, at least one day you'll be a cute girl.

>>34172243
are you cute? would you look good in cosplay?

>>34172029
Do you use a phone camera or an actual camera to take your pics?

>>34172320

phone camera, ive been doing it for a few years so ive had a few different phones, worst one i ever had was a blackberry, theyve all been deleted now though

Applied for 5 jobs today

Wish me luck

>>34172520
If my post ends in dubs you'll get at least one of them

>>34172533
wew lad, say goodbye to the bennies

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>>34171245
glad i drink and take drugs desu. it's knock out time, splif, tempazapam, bed
not even bothered for wank desu
>>34171298
thanks for saying that book again lad, i 'll get it for my sis, and yes i do plan on reading it first, who knows i might even keep it for myself
just 1 more favour,could you tell me again i got distracted and forgot to copy paste the name and can't remember it now :(

>>34172533
My days of poverty are coming to an end it seems

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>>34172551

2 months later
>i hate this fucking job
>no time for anything
> i miss being NEET

Managed to survive falling back into my unemployed status by getting some remote freelance work in for the next couple of weeks.

Still back on mirtazipine and losing the will to live.

>>34172603
wageslave here

I hate enslavement but I hate the neet life even more, I feel grateful for my free time actually meaning something now

>>34172603
Beats the shitty agency work im doing

>>34172546
>>34172551
I was actually hoping I would get singles just to piss you off but that didn't work

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>>34172641
Nice try NEET


original

>>34172533
>>34172520
CONGRATULATIONS ANON!
DESUDESUDUS

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>>34172533
>>34172520
Welcome to the team anon!

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>>34172639

>agency work

What a shower of bastards

i know these feels too well

what kind of jobs did you apply for?

>>34172720
They're just shitty kitchen jobs. The agency i'm with is actually one of the better ones I've been with but even then the work isn't regular enough for me to survive on and I refuse to become a NEET

>>34172749
Better than nothing I suppose. Good luck with them.

>>34172826
Exactly. Thanks anon

original

>>34172844
Are they just restaurant jobs or this sort of cafeteria shit?

lets be honest though, anon won't get the job will he? he'll be a disgusting neet for life won't he?

>>34172856
Mainly pubs, doing stuff like food prep and cleaning

>>34172878
So like a wetherspoons or something. A mate of mine works in one and he says it's alright.

>>34172867
I will prove you wrong

original

>>34172899
Yeah that's one of the places actually

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Time for beddy bos. Goodnight /britfeel/, sleep tight, make sure your ghost files wiped.

Have a good time tonight, o watchmen of the night thread.

>>34172547
What I talk about when I talk about running by Murakami

Night snek anon!

>>34172867
Don't be mean.

>>34172867
well, jobs exist, and people get them, so there's always a chance he'll land it

>>34172867
Sometimes working is a fate worse than NEET

>>34172920
night lad,

>>34172920
nice to have you back lenanon - Sleep well

>>34172919
>wetherspoons kitchen
if you know how to use a microwave you'll be fine m8

>>34172968
As long as Dr Shekelstein pays me

>>34172920
thanks, lad have got it copied this time. nighty night

looking at these civil servant jobs - how hard are they to get? I could become a dog handler at an raf base

>>34172920

i wish i could go to bed at a reasonable time like this, even though im knackered now i just wont let myself go, feels like im wasting a night if i go to bed early, even though i do fuck all anyway

Really into cryptid and found footage horror movies at the minute.

All of them are awful though. Where is my awesome diamond in the rough?

think jews own horlicks lads, it tells you to put 4 heaped teaspoons in a cup and it doesn't last long. also horlicks is quite expensive

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/britfeel/s getting slow, are all the wagecucks in bed this sunday evening?

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>>34173217
looks like it

*YAAAAAAAAAWN* must be hard for them getting up tommorow

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accidentally plagarised a paragraph of work which i put in my notes and then when i went to write the essay i forgot it was not my notes... might be fucked desu now... cba with the uni interview at least, i legit didn't know ffs so dumb.

>>34173100
>Very few cryptid ones
The Hallow
Spring
The Marrow

>Found Footage
Marebito (my fave found footage film ever)
Maniac (First person, not found footage but excellent)
Chronicle
Time Crimes
Chernobyl Diaries
Area 51
Apollo 18
Alien Abduction

>>34173217
Nah still here lad
Just really don't want to go tomorrow

Anybody else touched penis's with another guy before? I did it a few weeks ago with the nieghbour boy, just like light touching.
He was the one who instigated it so I dont think I'll get into any legal trouble with his parents.

>>34173217
I'm in bed, gotta be up tomorrow for training for a new low paid task

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>>34173350
sounding a bit noncey there lad

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>>34173217

>only been awake 6 hours

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>>34173402
>tfw been consistently waking up at 8pm and going to bed at 10am

i can't stop the cycle also i'm drinking baileys

>>34173372
Nah I dont think so, he usually comes round to play with my legos but this time mentioned this and I tried it out, idk didnt do me any harm.

Lads how do you deal with your anger? I can feel my anger gradually building up and I'm scared that I'm gonna snap and either smash my screen/mouse again. I need a way to vent it, I've had the idea of driving to the middle of nowhere and screaming my head off until I feel exhausted but I fear the cops would be there pretty quick.

How do you vent that anger?

>>34173323
Cheers lad. That's a nice looking list.

I have seen Chernobyl Diaries
it wasn't bad. I watched Willow Creek the other day too, which wasn't the best. Though the 20 odd uninterrupted shot of them in the tent was pretty spooky.

Cheers again, a nice little list for me to work through.

>>34173442
smash things or hurting myself are my ways lad

>>34173442
just stop being a little bitch

>>34173435
Have you tried drinking Paul Masson - inspired by that same French exshilenshe

>>34173323
blair witch project is the OG, but I'm sure you've seen it already

>>34173517
MAAAHHHHHAAAAA

>>34173442

Cutting myself and punching things that hurt but don't break. Like a wall.

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>>34173439
>he usually comes round to play with my legos

I'd stop there if I was you, wouldn't want to admit a crime

>>34173537
What do you mean ladd?

>>34173442
you can't be booked for being loud in an area where you're not disturbing anyone

if they do get called and turn up asking why you're in the middle of nowhere screaming, all you have to do is tell them it's how you cope with stress and blow off steam, there's nothing they can do about that except ask you to leave because you're not breaking any laws

>>34173524
That was the most disappointing climax ever.

Loads of screaming while she's running down the stairs and a quick shot of a guy pissing in the corner before she drops it and the battery dies.

So disappointed.

>>34173532
i'm the same lad.i've fucked my right hand up over the years so it only takes a few good punches to get to where i want to be

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>>34171245
L8 to the party

>>34173639
u wot m8

it's a reference to the serial killer's methods they describe at the beginning of the film where he'd abduct two kids at once and make one stand facing the corner while he murdered the other, I thought that was pretty spooky

>>34173622
I'm thinking more on trying to cart me away to the nut house under the mental health act if they rolled up to me screaming my head off in the middle of nowhere. That's my fear of doing it.

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>tfw staying up all night to reset my sleeping pattern and I'm already knackered

>>34173662
looks like a female andy samberg lmao

>>34173671

I just interpreted it as that (the guy pissing in the corner ect). It would have left a bigger mark on me if there was some slight shot of the killer just before the camera dies.

>>34173692
literally impossible m8, you have to be formally diagnosed with a genuine mental illness to be sectioned under the mental health act

screaming like a nutter in the middle of nowhere is easily believable as a way of blowing off stress, the real cause for concern would be if you did it in a populated area

>tfw don't work but still can't stay up long enough to fall into a degenerate sleeping pattern

I'm jealous of you all, you're living the dream

>>34173692
why not just drive around screaming at the top of your voice, why does it have to be in the middle of nowhere.surely it's the action not location that matters

>>34173742
this attitude is why the remake was garbage and the original is still a classic

>don't want to go shopping so just don't really eat

anyone know this feel

the only thing i had today was a tin of peaches

>>34173692
Take a shit in the gutter while yelling. That would at least get you to the diagnosis stage.

>>34173797
I just live off tea and toast at this point

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>>34171168

>tfw manic episode

>>34173797

Mostly tea and toast for meals desu. I have half a cucumber, a block of jelly and about 4 tins of tomato soup in my house apart from bread and tea makings.

That will last. Won't need to leave the house for at least a week.

>>34173839
cheeky lil bugger

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>>34173797
>mummy buys me food so I don't have to shop

>>34173875
What do you put on your toast? I'm finding mine is getting quite bland

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>playing overwatch
>keep getting random lag
>asshole dva on the other team keeps taking advantage
>keeeps spamming chat with "lol goodluck kiddo"

>>34173923
Toast with soup is pretty good. Makes a change from just bread when you have a bit of crunch.

Mostly just butter. Sometimes pate if they have it cheap at aldi and I'm feeling fancy while I am there. I mostly don't buy it though because it doesn't last long once you open it and I don't want to eat pate for several days straight. I'm not a bloody frenchman.

I like doing those really cheap noodles from tesco that are about 9p a packet and putting that on toast (drain it first, wet toast is fucking rank) and melting cheese on top every now and then when I have cheese. Other than that I stick to the originals - jam, peanut butter, cheese if it is on offer.

Wanna go to a concert or the movies but have absolutely no one. That feel

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>>34174024
>he plays overwatch
Daft cunt

>>34174050
I'll go with you. Where you at, lad?

>>34174050

I'll also join you lad if you're nearish Coventry.

>>34174061
pls succu me till i cum in your mouth and ill stop

>whacked my head by falling out of a car last year
>failed suicide attempt
>had dizzy vision and terrible healing since
>can feel a dent in my skull

hmmm

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>tfw eating plain porridge at half one in the morning

>>34174330

we're gonna need a more in-depth story than that, anon. How did you try to kill yourself?

>>34174330
And your intelligence hasn't changed at all

>>34174330
How'd you fall out of a car, lad?

>>34173700
What do you mean by "resetting" your sleeping pattern? Being tired at 1am would be a godsend for me tbqh fambo, if you're looking to get a normie sleeping pattern (up by 7am kinda shit), I'd just go sleep now, set some alarms and go through tomorrow with a few less hours of sleep than you'd usually get.

Personally I wake up at 3pm and go sleep at like 5am. Properly fucked but not sure how best to fix it ;_;

>>34174072
>>34174240
Newcastle origtnal

>>34174346
plain porridge is pretty tasty lad

>>34174461
I'm only tired at this point, I can never fall asleep until 4am. I just lie there being unable to sleep.

>>34174462
Shame. I'm in london

>>34174471
Could be better tbf. It's a bit undercooked

>>34174357
>>34174457
Got drunk afterwork on a bad day once, some work people called me and I met up with them. Eventually someone was taking me home in their car and whilst going down the motorway I undid my seat belt and opened the door. Next morning I woke up with my pillow stuck to my face, the blood had seeped into it so I had to peel it off. Anyway no one took me to the hospital, work also told me I had to go in that day, so I showed up with half a face and told me to go home. The next night I spent some money in on a hotel room instead of going back to the flat due to the smell of alcohol and blood everywhere.

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>>34174562

That must have been nasty

>>34174562
Why didn't you head to the hospital? They could sort out that possible hole

>>34174486
In that case, let's be sleep deprived zombies together. Tried going to sleep earlier (I thought a nap would probably sort my sleeping pattern out better than trying to stay awake 30-odd hours) but didn't work. Sat in a dark room mobileposting because I thought I'd get to sleep quicker without my laptop. No luck

Plus expecting a phone call in the next few days about some agency work, 6am starts. Im fucked if I can't sort myself out

>>34174562
Jesus fucking christ lad.....
is your face ok now?

>feeling unwell
>feel a fart coming on
>fart
>its a massive wet one that instantly fill my underwear
>its already running down my leg
>very smelly and runny

Who else /sick/ here?

>>34174642

bad luck lad, i hate bugs with passion, think its something going around or something you ate?

>>34174659
Definitely something going around, my area has been hit really bad with a sickness bug. Colleges and schools have been closed and everyone else in my house has had it, luckily I haven't actually been sick yet just feel weird and literally shitting myself.

>>34174642
Shame. Hate being sick especially with diarrhea

>>34174752
Yeah me too. When ever I puke something behind my scrotum hurts really bad making it even worse, I've just been frantically using hand sanitiser and avoiding other people.

>>34174809
Fucking hell. Is it like a sort of cramp?

>>34174642
>on holiday in mexico
>decide to leave dinner because socially awkward sperg
>feeling fine
>stomach slowly starts to hurt on my way back
>frantically fumble with door key in agony
>door opens, fall to my knees
>crawl to the bathroom
>get on the toilet and fire hose liquid shit out of my ass

>>34174829
Feels like a main artery about to burst so could be blood pressure related but I guess it could well be an internal cramp.

>>34174848
Shit, how long did that last for lad?

getting one of those sickness bugs is my worst fucking nightmare, ive had a phobia of puking since i was a kid, ive thrown up once in my adult life and i didnt sleep for 2 nights after it

>OMG guys did you know (insert release date of game/premiere of movie/some world event) was X NUMBER OF YEARS AGO! Lol DAE feel older than they used to?

Anyone who posts like this should be taken out back and shot.

>>34174878
i think i only did that twice, wasn't a bug I don't think, just all that spicy wog food

>>34174848
Ah, I see you got a case of Montezuma's Revenge

>>34174893

i wish i could be taken back in time and shot instead of living this miserable future, my life peaked in 2009

>>34174848
>eating in mexico

Fatal mistake lad.

>>34174887
Where are you located lad? Shrewsbury should be a quarantine zone right now its so bad.

>>34174908
yeah pretty fucking close call though, kept thinking that what would have happened if i stayed there, or left just 5 minutes later. would probably have left a load of shit in the corridor some where
>>34174917
need to eat at some point in two weeks lad

>>34174925

just outside wigan, thats the good thing, i live in a boring as fuck but small village so things like that generally dont spread like wildfire around here

>>34174887
I threw up a few days ago for the first time in about 10 years. I had a similar fear to you but it actually wasnt too bad.

>>34174589
It wasnt the first time I tried to kill myself like that, in 2008 on New Years I got very drunk and jumped off a wall outside a Co-Op head first. Was in hospital that night at New Years telling a nurse to leave me alone, they shaved my head to fix the wound.
I don't remember much from that, though laying on the pavement with a friend nearby telling me not to die and I laid there telling her to fuck off. Apparently the police picked me up and I was sick on one of them then I got shoved into an ambulance, none of which I remember.

>>34174593
I did eventually go and the lady asked me how long it was, I said "oh about 3 months ago" and she said I'm fine. I may get this indentation checked out though as Im getting some pressure behind my right eye at the moment, it spreads to my right ear too.

>>34174616
Face is fine, in fact I think my nose looks better than it did before the accident. Kinda smashed my face to pretty.

>>34174972
Sounds like you got some very cheap facial reconstruction

>>34174899
remember the second time now, it was in the hotel lobby and the toilet wouldn't flush so i just turned the lights out and put the cleaning sign in front of the door. didn't tell anyone

Fun fact: I once went on a school trip to Microsoft UK in Reading and had really bad diarrhea whilst on campus, some poor Pajeet employee had to keep escorting me to the the toilets.

>>34174961
hmm just watch out when shopping, food comes from all over the place so get some sanitizing hand gel just in case. I'm pretty sure that's what saved me from getting the worst of it.

>>34173217
Its 2:12AM and I only just got here

>lad on here told me to grow out my beard
>growing it out but it's pretty patchy and undeveloped
>not sure if its cause im blonde or just cause i got a shit beard

>>34175145
could be both lad, my condolences

>>34175145
He's probably a bit of both. Sometimes beards can take a while to fill out, and being blonde doesn't help it as it looks pale.

>>34175145
this blonde lad at school would always have beard come in red

>>34175104

thanks for the advice anon, i am careful with things like that and make sure to wash my hands alot especially at this time of year

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>>34174642
>have crohns
>can never trust a fart

>makes thread on tv about a recent movie
>zero replies
>check catalog
>every post is about Star Wars, stale memes, or movies/shows that are ten years old.

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>sister makes her monthly call to me
>"so what you been up to?"

>>34175164
mmm im hoping for this, its pretty dark on the bottom but there's a lot of blonde hairs, problem is theyre not coming through as dense individual hairs, theres a lot of them but they look a bit loosey and not strong in their hairy appearance, if that makes any sense.

>>34175245

does she know that youve been doing fuck all? i hate it when my family patronise me like that, ask even though they already know

>>34175245
I have 3 sisters.
none of them ever call.

>>34175242
TV are too far up their own asses to care about anything else.

>>34175232
are you jewish or something? I read on the NHS site ethnic jews are more likely to develop crohns disease

Watching Pontypool lads. Pretty weird so far.

Anyone seen it?

No spoilies pls

>>34175269
I honestly have no idea what my family members assume I do. I only see most of them once or twice a year so I doubt they care.

>>34175285
You could call them.

>>34175145
>tfw have tanned skin and black hair
After not shaving for a few days I look like a junior ISIS member.

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>>34175269

>3pm
>did you get up early anon to help me clear the snow? lol

>>34175313
I've heard that too, i do actually have some jewish heritage on my mums side, even though my mum is christian i think, and i was raised as nothing. But still, the nose knows.

>>34175318
Yeah I saw that years ago. Pretty good from what I remember. Bit weird but the main actors seem to carry it well.

>>34175318
yeah lad not a bad film, interesting concept.

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This is the beard as of today. It's been about a week maybe a week and a bit. pls no bully.

>>34175362
do you think they would give you an israeli passport if you tried the heritage card?

>>34175390

sorta looks like mine when i try to grow, give it another week or two and it will look like you have pubes stuck to your face, bitches love pubes stuck to your face

Anyone get laser eye surgery?
Mummy talked me into it and I can't find any cause to disagree.

My biggest concern is that it's an armed forces disqualification for a year, so I get to go jogging and work a crap job for another year before I can shove off.

>>34175390
That's not a beard.

Why did you censor your lips?

>>34175390
thats actually embarrassing lad

>>34175371
>Bit weird but the main actors seem to carry it well.
I think so too. The three so far are doing really well, especially the main guy, he is pulling off "confused and out of depth" really well.

>>34175376
It's unique for definite. Not seen anything like it. I'm honestly not sure where it is going. Which is really rare for a film, I usually have at least an idea.

>shit so many times today there is blood when I wipe and I cant walk straight

I might as well have taken one up the arse.

>>34175405
>>34175463
I said pls no bully ;__;
>>34175448
too hot for 4chan

>>34175468
>Budget: 1,500,000
>Gross: 3,478

This is why Hollywood doesnt care about 'unique' or 'interesting'.

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>54 year old Russian wind up watch is 2 seconds fast after setting it to correct time 48 hours ago
>Literally relying on wound springs, balance wheels, gears and the broken dreams of soviet children to tell time

>Chinese made electronic clock I have is 5 minutes fast after 24 hours
>Has electronics and computer chips to tell time

Literally how

>>34175394
I doubt it because i must be so far removed from an actual practising jewish family, but i know nothing about how strict or lenient they are, i only know i have jewish heritage because my dad sometimes makes jew jokes directed at my mum, and her original last name is an old English translation of a Hebrew word. But i don't have any close or extended family that i know of who would consider themselves jewish, and i'm an atheist myself.

>>34175394
>>34175577
If you have at least one ethnically jewish grandparent, they let you in, regardless of your actual religion.

>>34175614
how is ethnically jewish defined?

>>34175510
I know and it is a shame. It's a cracking film so far.

>>34175545
/pol/ keeps screwing up the timeline.

>>34175637
Well, I know I have some Ashkenaz Jew in me. Not enough for citizenship even if I was interested. I assume they do a dna test.

>>34175390
give it a little bit more time, bit if it doesn't fill out properly then ditch it

>have new oneitis who is a model with 100,000 insta followers and is basically a celeb in parts of London.

Why the fuck do I do this to myself?

>>34175644
The Battery is another decent low budget zombie film to check out

>>34175811
why would you do this to yourself unless you were chad thundercock or rex thunderknot.....

>>34175779
It's too late, already shaved it off. I guess I'll never get there.

>>34175836
A couple of years ago she took care of me when I turned up at a friends house suicidal and with self-harm cuts. Since then we've always been friendly. Recently we've started talking a lot and even video chatting. She's even more fucked up than me and I've been calming her down and helping her mood. We exchange drugs sometimes and she send me a box of codeine with 'Love you lots' and 'thank you so much' written on it.

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>got summon to go to a court hearing because i missed ONE council tax payment over the holidays

I paid it on the 2nd of January anyway. I was away for the holidays and didn't get any notice about it. They're now demanding I pay 200+ quid and a 75quid fine and go to be at court on the 2nd of Feb.

Who's the best girl on babestation to call?

>>34176003
Asuka-chan

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Who /nightrunning/ here?

Night walkers are fannies and I will chase them down like slumberous cattle.

Here's me flipping off the sunlight three and half years ago so you know how hardcore I am.

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>>34175498
>too hot for 4chan

>>34176057

id nightrun but im too paranoid that someone would start chasing me just because im running around the streets at 2am like a literal retard

>>34176057
do you run at night so people dont see how fucking fat you are?

>>34175852
Give it another go in your late 20s

>>34175926
never ended up fucking each other?

>>34176095
You're just jealous

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56GJMNOAGWA

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>>34175812
Cheers lad.

Pontypool just finished and I have no reason to sleep yet, nothing on tomorrow. So I'll give that a watch now.

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>>34176127
I don't even know this existed. Blimey

Gotta ring the UC people tommorow to tell them im now unemployed and that I missed the last meeting I had.

Feel like dieing lads.

>>34176115
>never ended up fucking each other?
>me
>fucking a girl who gets paid to look attractive and has zillions of men and women who would slit their throats to fuck her

Yeah mate any day now I'm sure.

>>34173923
marmite erryday lad

that burning salty tang just does things to me

>>34176102

Well, if you're dressed like a jogger who's going to care? Just don't go out in a collared shirt and tailored trousers.

>>34176105

No, so people don't see how radiantly beautiful I am and top themselves out of shame.

>>34176208

nah not for me, i think running would kill the atmosphere of a night walk for me, i like strolling around, taking my time and appreciating how quiet everything is, sitting in a bus stop, smoking a roll up and reflecting at just how many bad choices ive made, etc

>>34176003
no one?

I'm dying for a wank
>lori is cute

>>34176166
I fucked a model once, she was a gothic chick that did "alternative" modeling, I've known her since I was 13 though. I'm not very good looking but she has a thing for me, which is fun. She told me that my old "mates" hunt her down on facebook once after finding out she was now a model and that one friend in particular told her he jerked off too her pictures, this guy considered himself chad thundercock. I laffed.

>>34176248

with that said i have been chased through the woods by 2 people with torches once when i had to light at all, that was one of the few times ive ran and it was pretty fucking scary

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>>34176102
>went jogging at night once
>had headphones in
>lady in front about to pass her
>she starts running herself
>wonder why
>turn around and no one there
>take headphone out
>she's screaming
>HELP HES CHASING ME PLEASE HELP
>realise she's talking about me
>feel so much shame
>decide to find an alternative route home
>never do it again

>>34176166
it's gotta be someone lad

no reason it couldn't be you

>>34176306
should've just laughed and said "I'm having a jog you daft cow" tbqh

>>34176309
I post on fucking /r9k/ at 3am monday morning. I'm sure she's getting pumped every day she wants it from actual good looking interesting people.

>>34176257

similar story, i had a "friends with benefits" thing going for a while with a pole dancer, apparently one weekend Paddy McGuiness paid for a private dance from her, started getting pissy and asked for a shag, when she told him no he said something along the lines of "you must be a fucking lesbian then" and was removed from the club shortly after for acting up even more

>>34176339
Her scream was so high pitched and by the time I realised what was happening she was down the other end of the road. Lights started turning on from houses as well which spooked me, I ended up skulking home hoping to not be seen in case some asshole tried to pick a fight.
I think she was a nurse as well, as the area I was jogging around is next to the hospital. I just remember her shoes which were flat footed and her dress.

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>>34176306
>Walk quite fast
>Walking behind woman
>She speeds up
>Can't overtake her and prove I'm not following her without speeding up myself
>Just cross the road instead
>She probably thinks her speeding up stopped her getting raped
>tfw I was just wanting to her home from work quickly

>>34176257
My ex started working for Victoria's Secret in the shop about 2 years ago and has now had several modelling shoots with them.

Her new boyfriend is a total rich chad personal trainer though, so there is literally no chance for me there. I was her bit of rough to get back at daddy for a while. Good while it lasted though.

>>34176166
Just wondered, fucked up girl I do stuff like that with wants to fuck me all the time when she's drunk

>>34176439
>>34176363
>>34176257
You are literally making me suicidal.

>>34176404
Ladu similar shit
>walking to job that requires me to be in at 5am
>is dark on the street and theres some drunkard walking slowly in front of me
>dont want to pass him cause he keeps stumbling and talking too himself
>want to get to work quick
>end up walking just behind him trying to find a time to walk around him
>he stops
>shuffles around
>looks at me in the eyes like im gunna rob him
>I stop apologise and walk past him

Fucking awkward as shit

>>34176363
There's a fat version of Paddy McGuiness who works at my shitty job in retail.

>he's got a wife and 3 kids
>gets blowjobs from the obesse cashier who is 16

he once handed out cigars at work and no one took any, fucking shambles lad

>>34176473
why didn't you cross the street

>>34176363
I find it fucking hilarious when so-called celebrities start thinking they're bigger than they are, a shitty "comedian" has no right acting like such a big dick chad

I went to a drama and theatre tech college, and one of the acting tutors was neil maskell from that show Utopia

man was an absolute wanker, thought he was hot shit and apparently had a habit of trying to chat up women in nightclubs by exploiting his "fame" and pulling the "do you know who I am" line when they rejected him

this is at a time when the only role he was known for was being a mental football hooligan in a film nobody but football hooligans gave a toss about

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>want to hit up the gym now i've got money coming in
>barely any free time and always tired because night shifts + manual labour
>will never get dat muscle I dreamt of
Woe is me, lads

>>34176471
ahh mine isn't a model though, she's pretty hot but she's too mental to get involved with, prefer just getting drunk or stoned with her.

>>34176535
It was a single pavement and a motorway

Living off a diet of
>coconut chunks
>peas
>oats
>flax seeds
>water

oh my

>>34176702
Are you a Buddhist monk?

>>34176538
You've mentioned that he was a wanker before. It is kind of saddening, because Utopia is the mutts nuts and he was awesome in it. But also not surprising, because anyone with any kind of fame seems to turn into complete twats at some point or another, with very few exceptions.

>>34176736
Sure fuck it why not.

Want me to read your future?

>>34176757
I have? I dont't remember ever mentioning it before desu, must have been fucking ages ago

unless there's more than one person who posts around here who went to college with me, now there's a scary thought

>I havent watched Twin Peaks and dont want to buy the amount of drugs needed to watch hours of weird David Lynch bullshit

Cant wait for the revival to be spazed about for the next year.

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>/co/ raving about killing joke batman film
>decide to download it even though dont like animated kids films
>promised it wont be a kids film
>its a kids film

>>34176828
you don't need drugs if you're watching twin peaks, it's already balls-out bonkers as it is and drugs don't enhance that, I speak from experience

don't even bother with the revival if you haven't watched the first two seasons, you won't understand a bloody thing

>>34176877
I hear the animation is shit. Plenty of animated comic films are watchable but they should leave a story like that alone. does he kill him at the end or what?

>>34176877
>its a kids film
it's animated, but I don't know by what metric you could consider it a kid's film

>>34176940
Obviously I'm not gonna watch the modern cash in if I didnt watch the original series. And I hate 'balls out bonkers' shows/films. It just seems so forced (I accept at the time it probably felt very genuine and fresh)

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Been having all sorts of "paranormal" shit happening in my house recently.

>house is empty
>am on 2nd floor
>someone banging shit downstairs
>think its burgalars
>run down the stairs
>nout there
>go in kitchen
>kitchen chairs fly against the wall

h-heh funny j-joke guys you can come out now

>>34176942
>>34176971
Batman does not kill Joker, in the end they realise "THEYRE NOT SO DIFFERENT YOU AND I", and the Joker shares a joke with Batman - they both laugh; roll credits

Not even kidding that's actually how it ended

Will taking codeine ease my sore anus or just make me shit more? Pretty urgent please send replies fast.

>>34176984
>It just seems so forced (I accept at the time it probably felt very genuine and fresh)
if it felt genuine at the time, how can it seem any less sincere now, things don't become more fundamentally ironic as they get older

and it's as fresh now as it was then, because there's literally been nothing that comes close to its style since

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>>34176827
It was on January the 7th lad.

I just checked my history and that was when I searched him on imdb because the comment made me wonder what else he had been in apart from Utopia. Then I went to find the archives of /britfeel/ threads on January the 7th and searched for neil.

Here's what the post was that I remembered, weird that I remembered such a little comment.

>>34176989
>am on 2nd floor

Holy shit, man. You need a housemate?

>>34177010
>comic called The Killing Joke
>Batman finally has Joker caught after his latest rampage
>Joker tells corny joke
>Batman realises that he'll never get through to him and Joker is beyond even the slightest rehabilitation. He laughs bitterly as he realises the most humane thing to do is to put him down like a dog, even if it costs Bruce what's left of his sanity
>kept slightly ambiguous so people dont REEEEE too much about it.

THAT'S WHY IT WAS SO GREAT YOU BASTARDS

>>34177010
That's exactly how the graphic novel ended, and you have missed the point by such a hilariously wide margin I'm forced to conclude you are legitimately, literally retarded.

>>34177048
>if it felt genuine at the time, how can it seem any less sincere now, things don't become more fundamentally ironic as they get older
>what is every single movie and tv trope ever.

>>34176989
just got me spooked lad, and I live in a 1 bed.

>>34177066
How much you willing to pay and I live in the South West, also age. I'm 24, woudln't want anyone older tbhfamalam.

Plus spooky shit has been happening recently, my fruit bowl slid across my kitchen table this morning.

>>34177130
>my fruit bowl slid across my kitchen table this morning
how far are we talking

>>34177130

No money a month and /some/ chores.

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>>34177099
Yeah that rapidly approaching car and then the Joker's laugh being abruptly cut off sure made it feel like they were having a friendly laugh about the whole thing.

>>34177123
Laddo it's been nuts, I heard shit in my attic a constant banging, went to go up and check after finally succumbing to the madness

>climb up in attic
>start shouting at it to stop its shit
>nothing happens for a minute
>guitar from guitar hero set flies and smacks me in the face

I went downstairs for the rest of the day. I've had footsteps going up and down the stairs, one time some knocking led me outside of my house I looked up to my bedroom window cause I thought I saw a figure, ran straight up and my room was trashed. Not fun desu.

>>34177192
I hope to god this is bait because holy shit you live in a nightmare.

>>34177112
that doesn't come close to answering the question

reiteration of narrative devices in no way means creative works inherently become less sincere over time

>>34177192
>>guitar from guitar hero set flies and smacks me in the face
Are you in a hollywood comedy film, lad?

>>34177227
It's not constant, but picked up a few weeks ago. I used to have people living here with me but they left because they thought I was fucking with them.

It doesn't happen every day, once every month usually and not at this level. It used to be just a door opening and closing constantly but I feel like since I noticed it and others did it got worst.

Worst expierience I had was recently.

>hear someone going up and down my stairs
>sitting in my room ignoring it
>it keeps happening
>go and check the shit out
>standing at the top of the stairs
>looking to the bottom
>suddenly footsteps get quicker
>its storming up the stairs
>runs straight through me and into the room behind me slamming the door

>>34177013
It definitely won't make you shit more. Whenever I take codeine (granted it's been over 6 months) it gives me really bad constipation. You won't shit for a solid 16+ hours, so if that's what your goal is then pop those pills buddy.

I fucking hate csgo. Why do I play this fucking game. It gets me so salty having to deal with russian retards.

>>34177152
Slid about half a meter as I was watching it. Tested it out with a remote control in the same spot afterwards, before I even got in a position to ask whatever it was to move it, it flipped off the table and onto the floor.

>>34177322
Wish I knew this ten mins ago. Just took another painful shit. I'm supposed to be bulking. Whats the point if I shit out everything non-stop.

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>>34177285
heh.. this is a funny trick you're playing on us tonight anon, real funny

>>34177393
Not even kidding my friend, i've got some things recorded. How do I make a webm for r9k to show you?

>>34177428
Are you the guy who had the ghost grab his arm for about 20 minutes?

>>34177428
Google it, I cant remember exactly. Or upload to YouTube and just make it private.

>>34177285
People are gonna assume you're baiting but I believe you, anon.

Weird shit happened when I first moved into my childhood home. I remember the toaster going off as if someone had pushed it down on at least five separate occasions at 6 in the evening, a few of those times being when nobody else was at home. My mum swears blind that she saw a teaspoon slide off the coffee table and slowly onto the floor, and used to find things that typically never left the downstairs living room placed at the foot of her bed upstairs when she woke up. Nobody in my family sleepwalks, either.

There is weird shit that goes on and nobody believes it.

>>34177428
I hope this turns out to not to be bait. Quite interested to see this desu

>>34177428
google webm for retards

show us some spooks lad

>>34177458
Nope.
>>34177462
Found a webm tool, just gunna see if I can work it. I remember trying to upload a webm to r9k once and due to the file limit was unable so I may upload it somewhere else on the site and link it.

Temporary trip so people can ask questions after the video.

>>34177496
If you can't upload it here, upload it to /wsg/. You can have sound there too.

>>34177462
Don't make it private, just make it unlisted so that it doesn't show up, but you can still link it.

If it's private no one will be able to see it

>>34177496
>tfw i want to see thiss but way too spooked right now

>>34177496
I think you're just a film student who's put together some paranormal activity shit

if you've got legitimate footage of a haunting you could make mad cash, but you'll remain a robot because it's not real

>>34177526
Correct. I actually recently did this myself. It's a vid of me on heroin for the first time.

>>34177565
>if you've got legitimate footage of a haunting
lol

>Ghosts haunt us for hundreds of years
>everyone has a camera in their pocket these days
>zero evidence of ghosts