>be me
>have a virtual gf
>plans to meet up at the end of January
>been talking to her for about two months, "dating" for about one
>sometimes she's very sweet and we have some great conversations/sexting
>sometimes she keeps cutting our conversations abruptly
>being a beta, I keep talking to her because she feeds my need for attention
>not even sure we are ever going to meet
>be yesterday
>receive a notification from Tinder, got superliked
>it's a dude, really cute one
>i'm bisexual
>match with him for the lulz
>talk to him, seems like a swell dude
>in the next day, he says I look really cute and would love to hang out with me
>we live pretty far away
>keep thinking about my girl, and tell him I'm kinda seeing someone
>apologize for leading him on, wasn't even my intention, just liked to talk to him
>he says it's ok and we stop talking
>ask my gf what she did the whole day
>"oh I've been at a party"
>probably off to suck Chad's juicy dick
Why am I like this? If this girl didn't exist, I'd go see this guy in a heartbeat, but I felt so guilty doing something like that, even though I have never even met her, and keep thinking that nothing will work out in the end. If she had said she was at a party before that guy said we wanted to hang out, I'd probably go with him. It just felt so much like cheating, and I hate cheating. I'm so confused.
Guess it's just a blog post, REEEEE normie get out and shit. Never been with someone my whole life, and now that I actually had the chance, I threw it away because of a promised tomorrow. I feel like shit.
>>34141289
Guess no one gives a shit.
>>34141289
You should just kill yourself
In an original way
>>34141289
i mean
at least u didnt cheatalso, party =/= chad dick
>>34142040
I know that. I'm an insecure, jealous piece of crap. I probably shouldn't even have a gf/bf until I can better myself. Still, I can't get the image of her kissing someone else out of my head and it's driving me nuts.
I have a stupid need to hurt people before they can hurt me, which ends up ruining several things about my life. It's just that this guy was pretty much what I'm after in a relationship. If we had met before I started talking to her, I'd probably be sucking his dick right now or something. This girl is also something out of my dreams, but these feelings of insecurity keep making me think "oh, it's not gonna work anyway. What's the harm in seeing this person?"
I'm a horrible, petty man, and I don't know how to fix it and it's driving me mad.
>>34142188
i would say ur number 1 way of fixing this is trying to meet with your "gf" more
u have a low connection due to distance, so fix that, and if u cant, break up
>>34142300
I will. As I've said, we've never met before. This is how it went down:
>using Tinder, not expecting much since I'm an ugly fuck
>match with her
>seems cute
>get to know her better
>ask her out
>she has her finals, so it's impossible for her
>feels bad but whatever
>go back to parents house for vacations
>keep talking to her
>eventually say that I really like her and wish we could hang out
>she says the same thing
>i'll be back to my place at the end of January so we can meet up
>can't go back sooner, parents won't allow it for some fucking reason
So there's that. Yeah, maybe we don't have much of a connection because we never actually met. And as a matter of fact, she was the one who kinda initiated the whole "I really like you" thing, by saying how cute I was and etc.
It just feels like it won't work out. Either when I get back she'll cancel and keep making excuses not to go out with me or we'll actually meet, and she'll see how much of an autistic fuck I am. Either way, I just know life is going to find a way to fuck me over.
>>34142478
Seems like you have some bad insecurity issues my friend
>>34141289
Just message him saying you've changed your mind and that you only said what you said because you weren't sure about going through with a gay relationship.
>>34143051
But I feel like shit about the guy as well. And I don't think he'd go out on a date with me after I was such a dick to him