Who /30's/ here? Still KHV

Turned 30 last December

>Still a virgin
>Still an autistic fuck up
>Constantly worried about the future
>Not even sure I want to lose my virginity at this point - it's like all desire to has gone.

>>34127830
29 here. Still a kissless virgin. Can I come in?

>>34127889
The feeling of being too far gone gets worse with each passing day.

at least you aren't filthy breeders 28 here

>>34128326
Only gays use that term. GTFO faggot

>>34128341
what term mr normalfaggot?

>>34127889
>>34127830
>>34127967
So, Can we talk about things?

>>34128471
"breeders" - Ive only heard gays use it.

Im older and less normie than you.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>34128473
Yeah sure, why not. How are you holding up?

>>34128491
As an autistic genetic trashfire I too despise breeders. Too many people reproduce willy nilly. That mindless freedom shouldn't be allowed. I imagine it's women's fault since my alcoholic mom for example only got knocked up at 40 because she wanted by father to stay with her. That plan didn't hash out like she wanted it to.

>>34128491
So you want to breed and you are less normie than me?

>>34128547
Could be better. Trying to collect unemployment insurance at the moment. Got laid off from my first full time job (was near min wage and I couldn't afford to move out with that job anyway) after less than a year on the job. sigh.

WEnt to some interviews for unpaid internships and they didnt go well.

Just all around frustrating and depressing shit lately.

What about you?

>>34128562
>>34128571
No. I dont like the word breeder.

And answer the question. Are you gay?

I agree with antinatalists though.

>>34128601
My work sucks, I manage to find a job that combines high stress and low income and I'm too tired and unmotivated to find anything better. I work with alot of Stacey's, which is far more awful than it seems.

I've been procrastinating to volunteer for a foreign legion of some kind for a long time so hopefully a bullet will find my brain but I don't have the resources to find my way there. I'm fast getting too old for that dream to become a reality.

>>34128624
I'm not a homo but I like Homura

I am 40 in a few months, fuck you.

>>34128808
Have you at least seen a vagina in real life?

34 KV reporting in.

g;kdop;ko

>>34128825
Yeah I saw a drunk woman passed out in the street with no panties on in in either '96 or '97.

>>34127830
What does the H stand for?

Not original, oddly enough.

>>34129131
Hugless or handholdless, depending who you ask.

>>34128808
nobody on here is 40, I refuse to believe this. Blur out an driver's license with time stamp.

>>34128751
>combines high stress and low income

That really sucks? Work in retail?

>>34129209
Yeah at a bank. It's the worst. Shit on by the public and corporate managers. Banks are notoriously cheap and this extends to its employees. Shit flows down.

>>34129157
That's really stupid. Seems really out of place desu.

>>34129287
Good to know. Paretns been telling me to get a bank teller job. They seems like shit place s to work.

To be fair, from the customer's point of view, you people seem pretty terrible.

>inna small BofA bank.
>some Middle Eastern bank employee telling people ATM is broken
>ask him why he doesnt just put a sign on it and work the many empty teller stations.
>Oh that is not my job! I can't work at the teller desk. I'm in loan sales only!

So he can process loans but can't count money and take deposits?

>inna another BofA bank
>a few tellers just start leaving even though the line is huge

>>34127830
still waiting for my powers famalama
but I made it all I wanted tbqhonest.
i just have to make up my mind which qt to get to know now this semester, and maybe grow pair.

>>34129385
Sounds like a good bank to work for. Our managers wouldn't tolerate that even though I have constant growing stacks of work I'm doing for customers who think they're the only customer.

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>kids 10 years younger than you think their lives are over
>you easily blend with them because you are mentally undeveloped
>constantly lie about my age in discord because they would bully you

>35
>last sex was 19 years ago

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>>34127830

30 in February, but I am starting to accept I will be forever alone. And honestly, fuck being in a relationship these days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDj0oQOs3I

>>34129451
step it up senpai, don't let your kouhai bully you

28 KHV reporting in
Almost there lad

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>19
>only had sex twice
Trust me, I'd rather eat hot dogs all my life then to taste steak once not knowing if it's ever gonna happen again.

37, am I the oldest here?

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>tfw 19 and already feel like im going crazy
how do you guys not go on a shooting spree and rape a bunch of chicks?

>Nowadays people are addicted to video games more than ever from younger and younger age
>girls grow up being told they are living gods with easy access to Chad and Jamal cock whenever they want

Just imagine how many wizard we will have in 10-20 years.

>>34129535

Hobbies and masturbation.

>>34129535
We're all cowards and that requires a degree of crazed courage.

>>34129455
I kindly ask you to get out of the thread
norman

>>34129531

I am from a certain circlejerk in /a/ and i know a couple of 40+ warlocks.

>>34129535

I had the most fun with my hobbies from 18-25. Vidya was still good (2005-2012~), movies were great, I read some great books, and overall enjoyed myself. I guess a lack of a partner did bring me down occasionally, but fapping always made it ago away.

>>34129535
Only people at post college age can say they know true pain. Once your life becomes a sequence of work-sleep-repeat and no girl at your workplace likes you, there's truly nothing.

>>34129570
I meant in this thread, I know there are older people on this site
Also, I don't know if I want to know if I am, might feel bad about myself

33. Living in my cousin's basement off MRE's. Won't go into too much detail but he's a prepper and he's ready for the race war.

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40, Fucked over 50 hot honeys, played with more than I can count. Fucked 3 sisters, two at the same time for about a year...
Haven't had sex in nearly 5 years, just I just don't give a fuck anymore. To busy raising the kids. 6 more years till the youngest is 18. Then I'm going to go fuck 50 more!!!
Best part HIV and STD neg, life insurance medical from a year and a half ago.
Lucky! Use them condoms people! They work!

>>34129629
Can you take a picture of your surroundings? That sounds comfy

>>34129610

>Once your life becomes a sequence of work-sleep-repeat and no girl at your workplace likes you, there's truly nothing.

Ouch, that hits dead on. I work for a non-profit immigration center staffed by 90% women. I think I might be the only single heterosexual male in the entire office. I have contact with every single department and probably talk to 5 girls every day. Still, I can feel the condescension in their voices and glaces. Even in an office building full of women looking to help the community and see past stereotypes, I am nothing but a creepy IT guy.

>>34129698
>I can feel the condescension in their voices and glances
I feel that way too. I'm the bank guy.

>>34127830
Not /30's/ but just under 21 and I went to a whore when I was 19. Still kissless because she was a cunt, but I care less about sex now because I fucked her with a condom and didn't feel a single thing.

I still consider myself a virgin so I dunno if you have, but if not you should get drunk and go do the same, it's a load off your mind and you get to touch a naked woman at least.

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>>34127830
32, kiss less dateless virgin.
same dead end job for the past 14 years.
alcoholic, i dont get drunk anymore, i only drink to suppress the withdraws/hangover/realization of worthlessness.

fucked up thing i knew since 5th grade, 1995. that i wasn't going to be anything,

was a homeless man on the end of my street growing up, i remember vividly telling my mom thats what i was going to be when i got older.

>>34129791

why was your mom so mean?

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>>34129900
actually, she was to nice, way to nice. anything babby boy wanted, he got. that kinda fucked my mind. that and my brother was like a school bully my whole life, all the time everyday. that made it even worse, she just told be to do what he wants so he shuts up.

was a collection of things, added together.

>>34129610
I'm 18 and I dropped out of high school twice because I wasnt able to talk to other people, I know that feeling all too well, woman look at me like I was garbage, I slept in a room with fungus a infestation, the wall's and the celling were black for 3 year's, I would clean it by hand but it would come back in less than a week, I believe that it fucked with my brain. I haven't been the same ever since, my life is meaningless, I haven't left my house in 3 month's, I wear the same dirty clothes for week's and utterly depressed.

>>34130099

High School isn't shit. Honestly, if any young anons are reading this and stressing about graduating HS, forget about it. Get your ass into a CC asap to being getting an education. HS is worthless stress.

>>34128341

antinatalists use it too

:^)

>>34127830
>>34127889
At least you guys are wizards now
and can post on wizchan

>>34130120
That's not the issue, I just want to give up, I've heard that the fungus drops 15 IQ point's, I'm basically mentality retarded, can't even do the most basic math or even learn the ABC's.

Who here /kids/?

>>34130195

You can write coherent sentences. That's a lot more than your average CC student.

>>34130213
My head just refuses to work, It's like have this giant wall keeping me from becoming a normal person.

>>34130236

Have you tried taking one class? You'd be surprised at the intelligence level of some of those people. Though as retarded as they may seem, at least they're trying.

>>34130236
Iktf
Would give advice to you but I'm 27 and on a surefire path to suicide as soon as my mom dies, after that it's only my brother and he'll get over it.
But hey who knows maybe you'll figure things out.

>>34130289
I don't want to do this shit anymore, I'm ending it.
>>34130294
Give your story anon.

>>34129473
>His girl has tats on her hands.

Never trust anyone with tats on their hands. Basic street smarts.

>>34129698
>non-profit immigration center

You need to let someone hack your work for teh lulz.

>>34130471

Its actually really piss easy. Most of the pw have the name of the non-profit in their name followed by 2016 or 2017 if they bothered to update it.

27 here. I feel like I'm going on a downward spiral. Was late going to college, 19-20 for my first semester. Was in engineering, but couldn't stay focused on calculus to save my life, so I ended up dropping that and doing a free workforce training certificate. Couldn't find a job. Decided to try engineering again like a retard. Said hell with it, got a job working at a funeral home like I wanted to as a kid. Do it for 2 years, hate it. Try a different funeral home out. Hate it more, drop out of mortuary school. Work in a factory for 7 months, leave to go back to school for a manufacturing trade degree, while working at Domino's as a driver.

Is there a point in trying any more when you get to a certain age? I'm almost 10 years older than some of my classmates in the program and just two years younger than the teacher.

For the last several years, I've been hoping I hear about my mom dying so I can have a reason to kill myself. Only reason I don't do it now is I don't want to make her have to go through the death of a child.

>>34131072
at least you've been trying things.

Im 29, and all I've done is earn my BA in political science and do a bunch of min wage jobs.

>>34129745
>I fucked her with a condom and didn't feel a single thing
>you should get drunk

Well there's your problem

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>>34127830
I'm 33 and I look 23.
I have severe social problems with women and making friends.
I work for my family biz as a janitor and maintenance cleaner.
Normies dissed me when I was staring at this qt gym pixie on the bus(hurr hurr he's 23 and wants that 19 year old pixie).
Normies mad hate on me and it kills my confidence.

lost my virginity at 32 ama

37 here
Not a virgin but feel my life is really fucked anyway, thanks to a divorce and the cunt taking my kid. Working now but it's depressing and lonely.

>>34131690
You are 33 tho not 23. Guys your age know they should be more discrete.

If you don't well now you know.

>>34129653
Hi Tyrone
Original comment btw

>>34129188

You think nobody could be a particular age on one of the most popular and anonymous websites on the internet?

You're really, like really fucking dumb aren't you?

Try having sex once and the nothing 8 years. Turning 31 and all this opportunities were gone since I grew to be a misanthrope. Have fun lads

>>34127830
>32
I will be 33 this year...

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>>34127830
I don't want to be this.
I want to at least have sex.
FUCK
Why is it so hard to find a prostitute here
REEEEE

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>>34127996
this.

No point in even trying now...

>>34133132
Not that guy but I don't think a 40 year old would spend his time with frogposting children.
At least I'd like to think it isn't possible because as things are going now, that's my future.

>>34133669
I'm 37. what do you think happens, you suddenly change at 30? If anything its harder to get your life together. btw you young guys are the ones that shouldn't be here, you at least have a chance and hope, and with each year it diminishes.

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28 khhv. I have so many problems to take care of that it's already game over for me when it comes to experiencing affection, love, cuddles and all those things normies take for granted, it always was for me as I'm short and ugly anyway.

The problem is that at some point for many people, me included, escapism stops working. Then you can't distract yourself, you're forced to look at life and its meaninglessness, 24 hours a day. So it becomes difficult to justify working and enduring all the nonsense around you.

Life is funny, every time you think you reached rock bottom, it proves you wrong as you fall deeper. It's so tiring. Fighting time. Fix this, that other thing breaks. Fix that, this and that over there break. Nothing is ever fixed for real.

40 (late) and no, live with a younger partner.

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Anything I can do to help any Wizard robots?

Mid 30s here, but managed to find a wife via Craigslist some five years ago. This wouldn't have happened the Internet not become a thing.

>>34127830
>tfw young-looking 30
>not very tall either, at 5'9
>people still call me 'kid' and 'lad'
Not sure how I should feel about this

comin up on 27.

Got any advice on what not to do to maybe save myself?

Does it still count as virgin if I paid a hooker to suck my dick, but couldn't get off because I was drunk?

>>34127830
32 in about 3 months. I've had plenty of sex but none with someone who isn't a prostitute for 7 years.

My life is totally depressing.

>>34127830
31 here - haha!

Went crazy a while ago!

32 m virgin los angeles

kik: zsasza

is there no girl in la that likes virgins

Yep. I'll be 31 in 2 months.

I can't see myself in a relationship. Ever.

>>34127830
32 here. Not a virgin but she destroyed me emotionally so hardcore I still havn't recovered and I want to die every day.

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>>34133013
Not my fault the pixie was showing off, it was the normies out for a good time to cut people down.

If it was a problem for her, she would call me creep ya dingus(she thought I worked out too).

Jeez I'm on the spectrum, yet you're a normie enabler.

>IN B4 KINO BRO and game n shiiiet.

35. Chad. I fuck lots of girls. I just come here for lulz.

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35, parents basement dwelling grandmaster wizard weeaboo neckbeard scum of the universe checking in.

>>34135070
Ah, a fellow 81'er, dozo yoroshiku Chad-dono

I'll be 30 in september

>>34134532
33 here. Virgin, but I have kissed and hugged before.

The worst part is that I had a short, but intense relationship in my late teens, so I know what love feels like, and I know that I will never feel that way again. I've had some girls show interest in my over the years, bt I'm just not willing to open up and leave my hat vulnerable anymore.

At least I can watch roance anime and get all my love from there.

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>Less than four months until I'm 30
On the other hand in the last couple months I have been terribly sexually curious from never having someone touch my dick to doing much more.

>>34127830
41 years old virgin here it's been 27 years since my first and last kiss(yeah being a junior in high school was great)

>>34135272
I know how you feel. I have never loved so much and so intensely in my life. For all her quirks and faults I would have died for her.

After all that my heart is all out of love anymore.

>>34135824
14 as a junior in high school? you lying faggot.

only 22, terrified of being a virgin a year from now, if it im still a virgin into my mid 20's i will kill myself.

>>34136409
yeah i'm old but i still have a fresh memory in france back then middle school is only 2years

>>34136517
oh sorry bro sorry sorry. soz bro soz. soz bout dat bro soz bout dat. i shouldn't have jumped on you like that bro I'M SO FUCKING SOZ BOUT DAT SO FUCKING SOZ. SO FUCKING SOZ BOUT DAT BRO SO FUCKING SOZ.

BOUT DAT I MEAN

>>34133625

You will be disappointed with prostitutes, the fact they dont love you and you have to use a condom is a total turnoff.

Maybe there are elite prostitutes who will let you yo do it raw after a STD check and good stacks.

>>34136483
no you won't friendo

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I love young girls but i am an old fart and women over 25 are disgusting. Guess i should stay with drugs and alcohol, my only escape from reality.

>>34129188

What else do you think a NEET in his 40's is doing with his spare time?

>>34127889
>>34127967
>>34128326
>>34127830
How is your sexual desire? Are you still horny like you are 18?

>>34137671
It's starting to go a little bit. I can't jerk off 6 times a day like when I was in my late teens early 20's. I usually jerk it once a day, twice if I'm really horny or built up from a day or two of no fap, then I usually abstain for a day or two.

>>34135885
I don't understand how some people can have so many relationships in their lives. I can see how someone mightwant to hookup or have a casual bf/gf, but I cannot imagine people acually falling in fall multiple times over their lives.

It's when you know that even if you wanted to, you just can't love anymore.

>>34129515
You had sex twice. It happened again. Repost when you're 45.

33 here
Have you guys given up on life or are you still hoping? Or actively working to improve your situation?

>>34137671

I am 30 and trying to stop fapping 5 times a day, since i jerk off to 2D there is so much material its so hard to stop.

>>34127830
I will be 39 this year. Kill me without making it look like homicide or suicide. I want it to look like an accident. That way my parents can go through their last years without as much pain.

>>34127830

32
Going back to school after major career failure, in debt, pay child support to two women from different states,

>>34129188
> dox yourself for my shitty skepticism

>>34127830
I turn 30 in just two weeks. There's no hope left for me now, I'll just get myself ready for wizardhood.

>>34134374
Me too, Hahahaha!!!

>>34135126
78 is objectively the best year to be born.

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/year/1978.html

>>34134264
Can you give us details or pointers on how to acquire wife on internet?

>>34138394

TFW born in 85
TFW year was blessed with lots of super athletes
TFW born with a single leg
http://www.famousbirthdays.com/year/1985.html

>>34138394
>>34138439

A fuckton of top wrestlers were born in 1977

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/year/1977.html

>>34138539
big guys too
http://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/tom-hardy.html

>>34135789

>almost 30
>still being a dumb animeposter

You people deserve everything you have

What do you do when the distractions stop working?
Up until recently I was living a relatively content existence, numbing myself with vidya, masturbation and nerd hobbies, but lately they stopped giving me any relief. Porn just reminds me of what I don't have, video games stopped being fun and I'm consciously aware I'm just wasting time every time I play them.
Movies/books/tv shows just exasperate the crushing emptiness of my existence.

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>19
>Already lost all interest in relationships
This shouldnt happen...right?

>>34129515
>>34129535
>>34129745
>>34130099
>>34136483
>>34139291

Did you miss the sign on the door? Fuck off, kids.

>>34131700
Did you pay for it?

qpwuio34hafs

>23
>gave up any kind of romantic desire and limit myself to fap 2 years ago

feels good not to care about whores anymore

Life is still shit though

>>34130186

Dumbass kids post there anyway.

>>34133669

Memes come and go, and I hate all you newfag redditor tier whiny fuckups, but I've been posting on this shitty website for the better part of 13 years. I'm not about to stop now.

>29

I feel so old sometimes. people born in 2000 are considered adults next year while I still think of them as annoying kids not worth to be taken seriously

>>34139594

If you've been here from the start you must've been pretty into anime. What's your top10, ojiisan?

>>34127830

39.

Currently reading a book about internet addiction. I used to be a fast reader but it seems that now a snail could go through the page before I turn it. Took me two hours to reach page 23, so that's 5 minutes per page.

Still 8 hours to go before finishing it. It's painful and humiliating.

> Remember reading the Talisman (Stephen King) in one go, book was around 1000 pages and it took me a few hours to finish it
> Would take me 83 hours with my current brain

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>>34139983

You can probably practice that speed back, mane. There's even classes to take for speed reading, one tip they usually mention there is to run your finger through every line while reading iirc.

Knowledge, education etc. really is freshware though, and it needs to be maintained. I suspect I was a lot sharper when I was right out of the educational system too.

>>34138426
I was in my late 20s when I met her so I had a car and stuff to get around with, but that's all I had for resources as common sense would have you guess that seeing how I have been working at Walmart.

I've worked overnights for about five years at that time and my dating options rather limited to basically single mothers in grocery stores. Where am I supposed to meet anybody?

Apparently we both lacked the patience and time preference for surveys and shit like that and just used Craigslist which a few paragraphs about yourself can make a decent ad. I saw her posted ad when I was on break at work and I couldn't respond on my ipod touch properly, bit she removed it before I got home due to dicks being sent. I was chosen because I was the most "normal" of all responses.

I'm glad she can put up with me and my lack of resources, but I do make more than her so it's not like I'm mooching off her.

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>>34127830
>24
>Been with 30 chicks

How in the hell do you make it to 30 without hooking up?

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36 here. I'm still a kissless virgin but I'm not that down about it. My mom wants to set me up with her best friend's daughter who is above average and like 19 so I'm heavily considering it. It's one of those things though where I'm pretty much agreeing to marry this girl if I hook up with her because it's her best friend's girl. I don't want to get married so it's weighing heavily on me but I feel like this is my only chance for anything.

It doesn't help that I've been living this reclusive permavirgin lifestyle by myself so my house is just full of toys and anime stuff. Any girl that sees it is going to instantly reject me so even if I said yes, how would I even? Probably better off on my own forever.

>>34140914
I think you should give it a shot and if she can't accept your hobbies then she isn't worth it anyway.

>>34140914
>My mom wants to set me up with her best friend's daughter
Do you know her?

>>34140771
by being a retard. What do you think?

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>>34140771

Hard to say, I guess each of us has a unique story to tell. I had more chances that a lot of other Wizards and I still managed to fuck it up. It's like my destiny was foreordained by some frog deity.

> Here's a Tldr: of my childhood.

>>34127830
turn 33 last September. one of the original stuck here forever types from 2005. I keep coming to 4chan including here even though I never meshed with the "communities" of /r9k/. That said what a hell of a ride this board has had. From death to rebirth to zombie mode after the summer of 14. Honestly I'm amazed there are people my age that still come here, r9k has gotten very underage of the last few years.
>>34137671
God worse really. I fap/onhole nearly every day and have sex twice a week with peppered bjs in between and I still get rock hard from stupid shit like seeing a decent looking girl or just thinking about an attractive woman. Just typing this is making my dick twitch even thought I just had rough sex a little under 4 hours ago.
>>34137816
I can't understand this either but I'm in no position to understand it. I got it right in one try ten years ago so I'm not in a spot of understanding multiple tries let along multiple loves.
>>34139291
nah it's your brain demanding you spend time on actually making a life for yourself. Inspite of the retarded maymays you are better spending some time making a future worth having then tail chasing.
Same way people don't have a high pay job, 10k saved and a life they wanted in general. A mix of fears, mistakes, a mispriorities.
It's easy to say but for a lot of people their brain is almost trying to make them fail for whatever reason.

>>34140914
She might like it. I was 23 at the time but my wife that was 19 at the time found my toy hobby cute and charming and eventually got into it herself. She'll be 30 in two months and just bought Transformer toys for ourselves today. You could be right but you'll never know unless you try it. remember the worse outcome is you are still what you are, you can at least say you gave it a shot.

>>34141040
Her daughter? Yeah, I used to babysit her when she was little and play with her. She hung around me a lot when we was like 10-11 before I moved out on my own. Her mom really likes me so she really wants me to date her.

>>34141164
Isn't that kind of creepy, senpai? Like did you change her diapers?

>>34141211
He might be non America. South America, parts of Europe and a lot of eastern cultures that is the norm.

>>34141164
>tfw you used to babysit your wife

>>34127830
>robot
>virgin until 26
>fap all day, erryday thinking about sex for over a decade
>obessesed with sex, always on my mind
>FINALLY find a girl that wants to be with me
>lose my virginity to her
>real, actual sex feels nothing like imagined it would, only feels half as good as my hand
>barely able to cum
>sex her more times thinking it's just bad first time
>sex still doesn't feel as good

I spent over half my life obsessing about this shit? It doesn't come even close to how it looks like in the pornos and the hentai. So disappointed.

Just saying that you guys shouldn't obsess about sex, it's the relationship aspect you're gonna want. I think our problem is that we all obsess about sex and let it control our lives and emotions. I can think more clearly what I want, and what I want is a real gf and wife, not a girl for sex.

Don't know what women go through in their lives and how they feel about their virginity.

>>34141211
I didn't change her diapers but yeah, it's a little unusual. My mom just wants me to settle down and deliver grandchildren and her mom has always liked me a lot so she doesn't really care about my age plus I'm financially stable and she knows I won't mistreat her. The only problem is the pressure of it all, she's not just a random girl so I can't fuck it up or it will cause problems.

I've never dated a girl in my entire life though so the chance of fucking things up is incredibly high.

>>34141410
You should talk to her man. See if you two have any chemistry before any dating.

>>34129629
>living off MREs
How do you even shit with all that sodium

>20 year old khv
>halfway through college and haven't made a single friend or spoken to a girl

Once I graduate, I'm so fucked

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435KB, 1024x1324px

>>34140169

Thanks Anon.
I already use my finger though, but I'm reading so slowly that I don't think it helps. I just hope the brain plasticity isn't a meme and my speed will come back to what it was once I read everyday.

>>34139983
Did you have an accident or something?
39 isn't senile ffs.

I'm 25 and I've had progressively more frustration, rage, and violent fantasies with every year that has passed. It's like I'm addicted to being pissed off constantly now. My empathy has gone down the drain, too. I even think of killing myself not out of depression but just for the spite of hurting my family and leaving them burdened with the funeral cost. I don't think I'll make it to 30 lads. I'm a hateful piece of shit now so everyone would be better off with me gone anyway.