This is long but hopefully interesting enough to read
>16
>get bullied alot, one kid drills a hole through my hoodie into my chest in workshop class
>a negress throws a calculator at my eye in math class, it looks like I'm crying blood, have to go to the hospital
>start feeling sympathy for serial killers
>dad dies months later when I'm 17, I see his dead body up close and have to handle it on par with the instruction with the 911 operator
>think this is turning point
>start developing obsession with serial killers and psychopaths
>homicidal thoughts out the ass for about a year and a half
>think about wearing a black guy mask and doing drive bys
>be filled with rage and hate for a year, other than that pretty emotionless
>18
>rob someone
>rape a girl
>abuse pet cat
>have general baseline hatred for everyone, but fairly emotionless still
>come March
>have psychotic breakdown
>get arrested and sent to jail, later mental hospital
>the jail psychologist says I'm a schizophrenic sociopath, I say I'm proud
>the police have my finger print
>the people at the police station and mental hospital know of my homicidal urges, the mental hospital knows that I want to kill the guy who molested me as a kid
>I now know what incarceration feels like
>still filled with hatred and anger
>try to break out of mental hospital once, choke guard out once
>only diagnosed with schizophrenia instead of that AND sociopathy in the mental hospital, in contrast to the jails diagnosis
>cry over raping girl in hospital
>hatred subsides
>murderous impulses gone
>out of hospital now
>feel barely anything at all, no hatred no anger no desire to engage in antisocial behavior
>so still emotionless mostly and fairly disconnected from humanity in my eyes but the murderous hatred shit is pretty much gone
What happened to me? Was I emotionally stunted by being in a mental hospital? And how does antisocial personality just subside like that?
>>34095531
>not green lining how you raped a girl
cmon dude
>>34095531
>abuse pet cat
I don't care about the rest but this disgusts me
sociopathy occurs in very early development, you cannot become a sociopath later in life because you have already developed a consciousness
you're just a damaged individual
now stop being edgy
>>34095663
>girl comes over to my place high
>cuddle with her, play with her tits
>eventually pull her panties to the side and start fucking her
>"stop"
>"stop"
>"stop"
>"WHY ARENT YOU STOPPING"
>"because it feels so good"
>continue to hump away
>>34095734
thats hot dude
you got pic
>>34095715
No you're thinking of psychopathy
Sociopath is one who became crazy and damaged because of external factors later on
>>34095846
right?..
That's what the story's about
>>34095761
Here u go m8 oregano basil
>>34095531
it sounds like you have a resilient and strong enough brain that is able to repair itself once the shitblocks have worked their way out of it
congrats, dude, you're one in a million
try not to not be in bad situations from now on, if it's possible
and keep reaching for that rainbow
>>34095707
LE PEOPLE DIE AND I FEEL NOTHING
LE FUCK WITH ANIMALS YOURE EVIL
>>34096052
its for anons like this that i visit this board
>>34096052
It's hard not to reflect on the past though
you just have autism like a lot of us here
don't worry about it