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My life is literally over. I am now forced to commit suicide

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Thread replies: 201
Thread images: 49

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My life is literally over.
I am now forced to commit suicide because of a stupid decision that I made.
Holy shit, I can't believe how badly I fucked up my life.
>>
>>34090336
And you decide to post that without the story.
>>
what mistake, tell us OP
>>
>>34090352
That was the stupid decision
>>
>>34090336
If youre still alive anon pls post context
>>
>>34090336
Please explain what happend anon?
>>
>>34090336
>woe is me
>no way out but to kill myself pals, for realsies
>but before i do what i ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY have to do
>i will attentionwhore on r9k for a bit

What are you waiting for? The train is going to run by any minute now, better put that retarded head on dem rails now, son.

Unless....unless you really dont want to die? :)
>>
>>34090336
Make it green OP
>>
>>34090336
sleep tight my macaroni
>>
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>>34090352
>>34090378
>>34090384
>>34090388
>>34090441
>>34090468
>18 years old
>no job
>still in highschool
>KHHV
>meet girl on 4chan in December
>talk with her for a while on kik and become friends
>go over to her place a few times
>have first kiss
>lose virginity
>we have sex probably a dozen times and she tells me that she's on birth control
>fast forward to today
>she heavily implies through a text message that she's pregnant

This is it for me, guys. I tried to become a normie and got what I deserved. My life is over now.
>>
>>34090984

>my life is over

why?
>>
>>34090336
I love seeing people fuck up their lives. Especially the rare moments when you can see someone's life flash before their eyes. I've been binging on pedophiles getting busted and its goddam great.

for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOBgE10sEQE&t=626s


What do you robots think?
>>
>>34090984
You do deserve, normie scum.
>>
>>34090984
LOL so you rawdogged her as soon as you met her? you're fucking retarded dude
>>
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>>34090984

holy shit fuck OFF normie nobody fucking cares about your stupid fucking normie teen sex problem

don't come back either you fucking faggot I hope your bastard is retarded
>>
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>>34090984
>tfw you dont have to worry about splooging inside a girl and accidentally creating some runt offspring

feels good dudes
>>
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>>34091031
I am not a smart guy.
I deserve all the misfortune that befalls me.

Probably going to be dead within a week.
>>
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>>34090984
Kill the god damn fetus too you irresponsible fuckwit. There's nothing worse than that thing growing up raised by a single mother. You're making more and more robots and sentencing that poor soul to similar misery.
>>
>>34090984
>meet girl on 4chan in December
Stopped reading here. Nobody is avtually stupid enough to hook up on 4chan, right?
>>
>>34090984
>4chan
>girl
Okay so if this is a girl who uses 4chan we can surmise that she is crazy
>sticking your dick in crazy
>nutting inside crazy
You're already dead.
>>
>>34091093
Make her have an abortion, at least try that before you an hero
>>
Is abortion illegal in your country?
>>
STOP ENABLING THE NORMIE YOU STUPID FAGGOTS

STOP REPLYING
>>
>>34091160
No. I am Canadian.
>>
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>>34090984
>got a girl pregnant early
>my life is over
If your smart the fetus's "life" will be over, dipass.

And here I was thinking there was gonna be an actually good OC thread

Pic unrelated I just like posting pics with my post because it makes me feel better about OP being a faggot.
>>
>>34090336
I sealed my fate in 2007.
But having lost the game, there's no reason I can't spectate for awhile..
>>
>>34091093
damn i mean i know going without is better than with..but since you were a virgin i thought you'd be so sensitive anyways a thin condom wouldn't be a big deal.

but just wait til you talk to her anon. see if she took a pregnancy test, and how many she took. my gf was freaking out until she took a pregnancy test (negative god bless) when i first took her virginity because her period came a week or so late. best of luck anon
>>
>>34091182

then try to convince her to get an abortion
abortion is terrible but so is your life
your choices are balanced
go ahead
>>
perfect oportunity to run away to your new and better life. good luck bb
>>
>>34090442
BPIT (best post in thread)
>>
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>>34090984
....other people kill themselves over the things that if i would experience would stop me from killing myself.
>>
>>34090984
if she is white you did good.
You are 18 years old.
Human is made to breed at this age.
You have now 8 1/2 month to prepare.
Also better marry that girl before she gives birth.
>>
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>>34091009
>That sweat on his forehead getting more and more visible throughout the video
Top fucking kek.
>>
>>34090984
Your upset that you've procreated... ... ... why are you here again?.....
>>
>be OP
>Make it very obvious youre an active 4chan user
>start leaving loli and incest threads open all the time
>accidentally send her one that was "supposed to go to a friend
>unnecessarily mention how excited you are to have a little girl, even though you don't know

If that doesn't scare her into an abortion, it should at least convince her you shouldn't be involved in the kids life at all.
>>
>>34090984
HAhahahahhaha, u do deserve it ;D
>>
>>34091102
That picture is both painfully true and hits painfully close to home.

Why the fuck did you have me you dumb bitch.
>>
>>34091343
This is unironically /thread
>>
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>>34091009
>>34091384
My god chris hansen always delivers good shit
>>
>>34091009
he is SHITTING himself good god the man is sweating like a xenomorph. This is some good shit.
>>
>>34091471
roll please fuck my cock bunny
how the fuck is not that post original?
>>
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>>34091471
The fucking trips
KEK
>>
>>34091497
>>34091384
>>34091009

Look up Richer Breault on youtube.

Your welcome.
>>
>>34090984
Get out, normie

I'm only typing this sentence to make my post original
>>
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>>34091605
Link for the lazy tee hee narwhals no pineapples on pizza

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtRe4KaxfeE
>>
>>34091654
Thanks brobot. On phone right now so couldnt provide link myself.
>>
>>34091471
i wana fugh tha bunneh
>>
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Here's an option if you really love life that much.

>Nighttime
>Wait outside your neighbors residence in black clothing and mask
>Call her and tell her you want to see her right now.
>Wait until she's walking up your driveway
>Take your baseball bat and ram it into her gut
>Tenderize ur unborn spawn until it's hamburger meat
>Take whatever the cunt is holding so it looks more like a robbery
>Run away, double back into your house, change clothes
>Come out the front door to "investigate"
>Call for authorities
>Burn baseball bat and clothing next day in nice bonfire to celebrate

Bulletproof, man this seat is making my back vertebrae hurt
>>
>>34090984
>tfw your father killed himself once he found out your mom was pregnant with you
A robot dies.
A robot is born.
Long live r9k.
>>
OP is retarded. You fucking deserve this dude. Why would you have sex without a condom?
>>
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>>34091046

>I hope your bastard is retarded
>>
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>>34091654
He dun goof'd.

>oregialdlald
>>
>>34091009
That shit is straight up entrapment.
>>
>>34090984
You deserve it for fucking a roastie. That said, why do you think you belong on this board? Get out failed normalshit
>>
>>34092096
jesus why are you so mad
>>
>>34092066
no this is entrapment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_xEYZniW-E
>>
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>>34090984
>waaaaaaaaaaaah I passed on my genes
Like you were ever going to anything with your life anyway.
>>
>>34092352
life, both on the individual and the conceptual level is comparable to a dog chasing its tail.
you invest work in acquiring resources and producing energy to create a local environment of low entropy, just to inevitably die.
you tell yourself that you can create a meaning to life by reproducing, passing on your genes and creating the next generation.
they carry on doing they same, all in the face of the inevitable heat death of the universe, driven by the conviction that the act of futility called "living" is somehow meaningful and not just some freak cosmic accident
>>
>>34091471
NEED A BITCH WITH PURPLE EYES
>>
>>34090984
>meet girl on 4chan in December

That's where you fucked up. Stacies are bad but at least they are somewhat functional
>>
>>34090984
stealth feed her abortion pills dumbfuck
>>
>>34092456
>hur durr inevitable heat death of the universe
Nihilism is shit tier anon.

Fulfill your ONLY purpose in life or be forgotten.
>>
>>34092558
do you have a valid counterpoint? if life as a whole has no objective meaning then fulfilling your genetic programming is just delaying the inevitable. I'm open to another perspective though
>>
>>34090984
Lol, I thought you had invested large sums of money on Shitcoin.
You deserve it, to be honest. That's what you get for being a filthy normie that can get laid.
>>
>>34091471
fuck me that actually is funny
>>
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I have a similar story
>be virgin
>meet girl on 4chan
>she's really fucking cute
>like an 8/10, skinny, pale huge tits
>we agree to meet up and stay at a hotel at the weekend
>spend the whole weekend fucking nonstop and barely even leave the hotel
>isn't a hole in her body I didn't put cum in
>fastforward to today
>it's been almost a MONTH since I last had sex
I'm fucking dying here, I feel like my life is ruined now we're in a LDR and I can only have sex like once a month it's awful.
>>
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>>34092690
And people will fall for this bait. Just fuck my userbase up man.
>>
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>>34091200

Very wise words dear anon...
>>
>>34092690
>4chan
>real girl with pussy
>>
>>34090984
You should kill her first lol
>>
>>34092607
There is such a thing as a level of abstraction where meaning does not exist.

Just because you find that level does not make meaning meaningless.
>>
>>34090984
>pregnant gf
>somehow a bad thing
>>
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>>34090336
I know this feel, I failed uni 3 times and now I'm gonna be sentenced 6 months in jail lmao
>>
>>34091765
Dunt fug da bunneh
>>
>>34092888
kek, what for buddy? You're fucked. Also, what did your parents say?
>>
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>>34092944
what did my parents say hahaha
they don't know about any of this
>>
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>>34093018
You're done anon
>>
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Don't kill yourself, you fucking deadbeat.

Either convince her to marry you or get an abortion. You mean to over your own flesh and blood because you're a coward.
>>
>>34093198
Why are you coward shaming OP?
>>
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>>34093018
what are you getting locked up for?
>>
>>34090984

>robot manages to reproduce through bad luck

Dude you made it! You're better off than most of this board. You have officially made it. You won the game.
>>
>>34093244
Because OP is a coward.
>>
>>34093018
OP, just get a wagecuck job and support your family, what's your alternative, dying?

Now she's tied to you so you can literally make her marry you. Stop being an autistic robot
>>
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>>34093198
>get married to random slut just because you nutted in her
>>
Let me guess.

>femanon was desperate
>find out that anon is Chad looking
>"this might be my only chance"
>**forgets her pill**
>anon, I'm pregnant with your child, hehe, don't know how that happened.
>>
>>34090984
Ask for a paternity test, and if it's yours, ask her to marry you.

You know by now, woman are not creatures to emotionally invest yourself in, but your potential kid is someone that you can shape yourself to be a person that's counted on.
>>
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>>34091497
>the man is sweating like a xenomorph.
>>
>>34090984
Leave that BITCH!! Don't let some roastie decide how to live your life!
>>
>>34093368
Anyone got more vids of people in these high stress situations?
>>
>>34090984
>robots breeding a child
you both deserve a fate worse than death
>>
>>34091009
>the sweat
>the Jugular pulse

Top kek
>>
>>34091009
why doesn't he just get the fuck out of that house? Sitting there calmly like some idiot.
>>
>>34090984
I must say. this was almost me. I met a girl on okcupid who was on birth control, but when i broke up she told me shes pregnant. so i blocked her. 1 year later and heard nothing so i assume she was lying, the dumb fat cunt
thank kek for my weak sperm
>>
>>34093297
Nothing wrong with that. Easy way out is always preferable to unnecessary suffering.
>>
>>34091471
rollkkoko
>>
>>34090984
>Pregnant gf
>Has to commit suicide

Be a goddamn man and raise your child.
>>
>me age 18
>fuck gf all holes all the time
>she says she is on the pill
>after 2 months of constant sex she tells me she's pregnant
>nope.jpg
>cut contact with her
>got a letter a year later asking to meet with her solicitor about the baby
>tfw renting student accommodation
>at start of relationship I gave her a fake last name because something told me she was crazy and I just wanted a fucktoy
>pack all my shit in about 2 hours and nope the fuck out of there
>back to parents
>pretend I quit my course
>she never found me

There's a little me running around somewhere and I never have to pay for it

Thanks hollie
>>
>she heavily implies through a text message that she's pregnant
what did she say dipshit
>>
>>34091009
I can imagine him being like

>"Wait a minute, YOU'RE NOT 13!"
>>
>>34093477
You can see him eyeing the door at one point. The problem is that he doesn't know what hansen knows and whether he's a cop or not. I've actually pondered the same thing and this is the problem:

>he runs
He's pretty much admitted guilt and if he's caught he's fucked. He will have to live as a fugitive.

>he stays
This is the most important thing here: he has access to information. He needs to know what Hansen knows so he can make an informed decision. What if hansen knows his personal info? Address? Work place? Furthermore, he also allows himself to talk himself out the situation if possible.

Ultimately, staying is the best choice. He leaves himself with more options.
>>
>>34091471
Roll me, baby

I'm in love with that bune
>>
>>34091796
Under-rated post her
have a well deserved (You)
>>
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>>34090984
Do you live in America?
Just get the government to pay for your kid!
>>
>>34090984
Yeah, you are fucked.
U
>>
>>34090984
Ok anon it really isn't a big problem,
also you're going to kill yourself when she didn't even say she was pregnant. Discuss about possibly getting an abortion it helps if you get her to somehow admit to lying about being on the pill. If you can tell the situation is serious, i.e concrete proof you best tell your parents. It wont be easy but you will be fine.
>>
>>34090984
18 years old....what country???
>>
>>34090984
Man fuck off normie. I'm tired of you normalfags shitting up this board.
Come on just fuck off from here man.
>>
>>34093930
I live in Canada.
Don't know whether that's a good thing or not.
>>
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>>34091088
Feelsgoodindeed.jpg
>>
>>34091471
FUCK ME PLEASE OH GOD MY GAPING COCKHOLE
>>
>>34090984
Pack up your shit and move to San Pedro Sula. Trust me on this
>>
>>34091471
very original rollerinoooooo
>>
>>34090984
I hate to break it to you kid, but you were a normie from the start, now kindly fuck off.
>>
>>34093640
Can't she get your information from the school?
>>
>>34090984
Sorry to hear that.

Your life is going to be hell.. no more partying or anything like that, no more video games. no more anime, no more music, no more joys... all your money is going to the kid and it's mother.

F
>>
as a recent father from a similar situation i can tell you its not as bad as it intially seems.
>>
>>34094310
Tell us about it anon

org
>>
>>34094238
The student accommodation was with a private company. She would probably need a court order for that, and the company has shut down now anyway, which would make it all even more complicated for her. My parents have moved house since I left uni, so it's probably really tough to find me unless she has a private detective or some shit. I also live 300 miles away, and its been 8 years. I think I'm in the clear.
>>
>>34090984
AAHhahahahaah HAAH AHah a hhA AH A HAH ah stupid degenerate you think with your cock and your life's on the choppin bloc kAHAHAHAH HAHAH AHAH H AHA HA HA HAHA HAH HA H AHA HA HA HAH
>pre marital sex
>muh penuszz pleasure
>muh muh mmmmmuh secxxx
eat shit and die in hell
>>
>>34091088
this. all for 2 minutes worth of a shitty dopamine rush? really? fucking pathetic
>>
>>34094556
Aren't you quite the little rebel, how's your virgin life holding up so far?
>>
>>34094345
Well fuck in at work but here goes
>me, 20 now, 18 at the time
>kissless virgin
>meet girl playing gmod darkrp
>has a boyfriend
>boyfriend is handsome af but also a sperg
>she leaves him for me even tho we never met
>together for a year 1/2 at this point
>go down to meet her and end up staying for a week
>rawdog all the time, bust in it everytime, shits awesome, really hope you all of /r9k/ gets that moment
>leave to go back home
>2 weeks later shes missed her period
we now have a beautiful 6 month old son. weve had a lot of differnces since weve been loving together but she isba great mother and we work together to care for him. i think women are pretty bad but there are some good ones out there. you'll handle it OP. Its your job as a man to care for that kid no matter what.
>>
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>>34091102
Holy fuck this. Normies are literally creating more robot bastards just cause of muh dick. Sex between degenerate normies is literally a robot producer
>>
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>>34094620
>leaves her bf for someone she never met
>you chose this woman to be the mother of your children

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>34094637
>he calls that a GOOD WOMAN

let me laugh even harder

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>34094637
i mean we're still together and shes an amazing woman. if she leaves me fuck it. i atill have my kid.
>>
>>34094620
it doesn't seem bad..i hope she won't leave you or something
>>
>>34091200

You basically summed up my entire life. I'm going to go on a roadtrip and blow my brains out or OD on east coast herron after I save up some dough in a year.
>>
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>>34094611
>m-muh dick
>haha u ra virgin ha
It feels good I don't think with my dick, and am pretty apathetic about sex. I have way bigger problems than to have some shitty rush of pleasure just to get some dumb slag pregnant with a poor bastard child who in turn will either be murdered or raised to be a robot and end up here. You normies act like sex is the pinnacle of all achievement, what a fucking joke. Not to mention you don't even belong here, what the fuck are you doing? I thought you were a cool dudebro who has lots of sloppy sex with your limp gummy dick?
>>
>>34094694
im not even a little worried. i tell her if she cheats on me ill kill her and the guy and shes says shed do the same to me. its a solid relationship desu.
>>
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>>34090984
just kill yourself so you'll never post here again
everybody wins
>>
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>>34091471
stob dis dsgusding shid righd nwo !11!one!! :DDDDD
>>
>>34092764
needs an old wojack edit
>>
>>34090984
Holy shit dude why didn't you just pull out?
>>
>>34094653
the dude would come over to her place fir like 15 minutes theyd fuck and then leave and she was tired of it. she broke up with him the first week we met. you dont know shit boi.
>>
>>34091432
this, and try to get her to induce a miscarriage if she doesn't want to go through with an abortion
>>
>>34091795
What if the cops suspect it could've been you based on where you hit her? They might find it interesting that happened right before she came to your house and considering she was pregnant.
>>
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>>34090336
>been with same girl for two years
>we have aborted twice
kek, killing babies kicks ass
>>
>>34093640
can't tell if I'm impressed or disgusted
probably more impressed
>>
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>>34091471
Kek bless me with dubs so that qt smug bunny can bully my pathetic cock
>>
>>34093640
thanks for making yet another robot fucking degenerate faggot
>>
>>34093640
>8 years
little you is doing a little more than just running around by now
>>
>>34094935
How do you even know the child is yours
>>
>>34091471
please be an original 0
>>
>>34095391
I trust her enough. shes only ever fucked me and him and she genuinely hated his guts by the time we met. plus the kid looks EXACTLY like me so i think its all good.
>>
>>34094935
So he was the alpha and you are the beta bucks?

Rofl you cuck it probably isnt even your kid.
>>
>>34090984
>tried to be
You are and I hope you kill yourself
>>
>>34095952
this guy was one of you robots so clearly not alpha. all he would do is play vidya and watch animu and when he wanted to fuck hed come over. shes not the most attractive girl so she said she thought she couldn't do better and went with it.
>>
>>34091124
this

SAGE
originaloli
>>
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hopps.png
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>>34091471
Alright i am going to try this out
>>
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>>34095112
>get gf pregnant
>convince her to get an abortion
>can't stay with her because she's had an abortion
>>
>>34091471
pls let me be a grill
>>
>>34094596
>shitty dopamine rush


tbf creaming a girl is on an entirely different level of orgasm
>>
>>34091471
roll 0 plz
I hate my body
>>
>>34090984

Oh okay. I thought you had broken some laws and the fuzz put out a warrant you ya. This isn't so bad, relatively.
>>
>>34090336
THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS :

You have been a coward your entire life and nothing has changed at all... You have been too afraid to even approach a female or to look someone in the eye and shake their hand, but you think we believe you're suddenly going to develop the testicles to actually kill yourself?

You'll be here next weekend and the weekend after that and so on and so forth

You're a fucking crybaby little bitch

You literally make me sick to my stomach
>>
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>>34090984
>Life is over :(
>Not getting an abortion
OP are you a dum
>>
I don't believe anything about you meeting a girl and having sex and getting her pregnant

Show a pic or a video or it's a lie

Sorry I refuse to believe it when you are a crybaby who is threatening bullshit suicide pleas for attention, which is the behavior of a little girl or a homosexual
>>
I SAID SHOW A PIC OR A VIDEO -

OR YOURE LYING

ITS REALLY JUST THAT SIMPLE
>>
>>34090984
>Believing some random that she's on birth control

You foolish slut.
>>
>>34090984
>meet a girl on 4chan

there's ya problem
>>
Hahahahaha SEE ?!!....

I knew you were unable to produce a photograph of you and this girl together because you are lying

Lol

See, it's pretty obvious that somebody who doesn't have the balls to act like a man wouldn't have the balls to empty them into a female

Have you had enough attention seeking yet you lying little coward?

Congratulations. Tonight for 17 seconds a handful of irrelevant homosexuals almost paid attention to you

Unfortunately you fell for the anonymity Trend and nobody even knows who you are nor do they care

So they didn't even actually pay attention to you. They paid attention to a repetitive predictable mimicking of a trend
>>
>>34090336

No matter what anybody says about tripfagging or namefagging, the difference between us is clear... At least when people pay attention to me they know who they are paying attention to

Tonight you're attention-seeking fraud got you nowhere because nobody knows who you are nor do they care who you are

That's because of your stupid gullible propensity to fall for whatever ridiculous Trend you are told his supposed to be cool

How does it feel to have gotten the attention you so desperately lied to obtain, yet nobody has even acknowledge you? Not even for one second... How does that feel?
>>
>>34091471
Big benis plix
>>
It would be hilarious to see you actually trying to get into a girl's pants and watch her reject you and watch you put a gun into your mouth and blow the top of your head on to your bedroom ceiling

It would be even funnier to watch your parents, abruptly startled by the gunshot upstairs, come running into the room and start breaking out and uncontrollable laughter

"Thank God he finally did it !"

Your parents should have put a piano wire around your neck the day you were born and attach to the other end to the back of an 18-wheeler, but you have cost them enough money so far. Do them a favor and let them have enough money for a vacation after your funeral
>>
>>34090336
I got the FIRST one pregnant when I was 18... I had been the live-in 'boy toy' of a 36 year old nurse since I had turned 17. One year into it, a 16 year old hottie came by my older girlfriends apartment and I fucked her. She got pregnant.

That same year, my friends girlfriend Julie Culpepper came over and I got HER pregnant, too.

The next one was Diana the hot blonde

Diana's mother was a blonde bombshell that look like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader... She was a knockout. Strangely enough she wanted me to fuck her teenage daughter

I did... Over and over and over and over and over

I knocked her daughter up really really hard

Years later I was in Memphis Tennessee when my Swedish wife Debi realized she was pregnant... A daughter

Many years passed and I married my son Jets (hack_blastard's) mother Anji, and probably got her pregnant. He was my amazing gift from the universe

4 years later did it again and Anji gave birth to my daughter Jupiter

I have been told by a couple of people that I have a few other children out there

I believe them because these are people who would know

Exactly why are you trying to gain sympathy and attention by whining and crying about suicide? Why don't you stop acting like a little girl ?

If you're going to behave like a little girl why don't you bend over and let me see if I can get you pregnant
>>
PROMPTLY*

Not probably

Speech-to-text typos

There was nothing probable about it
>>
>>34091009
>doing illegal stuff
>not knowing how to handle a interrogation
fucking dude burying himself deeper every time he opens his mouth
>>
>>34099157
kek fucking idiot managed to get 8 years for something he could of walked away from in a week
>>
>>34099157
Lol you and you delusional misunderstanding of:

The actual laws both federal and state

Statute of limitations

How investigations actually operate

The fact I have not confessed to anything illegal

The fact that nobody cares about Prosecuting me for having sex 38 years ago

The fact that all of these girls threw themselves at me

How to get laid

Your own massive irrelevance and epic insignificance

How to get laid

Basically everything

How to get laid

That I am a genius and I am in full control of every single word that I type or use speech to text to communicate

That I know exactly what I'm saying and what I'm doing

And finally... how to get laid

What's it like to be such a massive failure?
>>
>she might be pregnant
>better kill myself
>>
THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS:

you can't get laid
>>
>my life is over
>gets a girl pregnant
FUCKING NORMIE PLEASE LEAVE. You literally achived what I've been trying to do by ejaculating on bicycle seats past few years.
>>
>>34090984
jesus fucking christ you spoiled faggot ass nigger normie scum
>>
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>>34099285
wat...?

your spaghetti is spilling
>>
>>34091471

desu lel senpai
>>
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>be 18
>get girl pregnant
>mfw she miscarries
>>
>>34091102
>Man leaves
>Child gets fucked up
>Definitely the woman's fault

This is such a stupid, stupid misuse of the stats you beta fuckwit.
>>
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>>34094620
>>34094681
>he thinks the kid is his
lel
I bet you never even considered a paternity test. Yeah, she broke up permanently with her chad bf and never once thought about hooking up with him again while you were away
>>
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>>34093323
>get married to someone because you saddled them with your child
>>
Fuck all these retards who say having a child is worth anything, be a man, etc. I agree. Fucking kill yourself. Having a child is the worst fucking thing that can happen to you in your life. Fuck these idiots who think children are anything other than worthless sacks of shit that suck up money. If you don't kill yourself you're either going to spend your life unhappy working some cuck job to support your family you don't want or she's going to bring you to court and rape you for child support.
>>
>>34094596
You are literally engineered to find this appealing. It takes self control to not do this.
>>
>>34091471
rolling in the deep beacuse orginal comment
>>
>>34099571
well why doesn't it happen as often when it's a single dad?
>>
>>34091471
Rollzzzzhhsj
>>
>>34093477
They usually have a swat team waiting outside on that show
>>
>>34091471
Wawawawnfnd
>>
>>34091471
negroe
>>
>>34091471
rolling for this
oregano
>>
>>34090984
yeah you fucked up
the only advice I could give you is to run
you'd be a nigger forever
>>
>>34091471
See this boi bun?
>>
File: 1484196968512.png (27KB, 248x200px) Image search: [Google]
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Do it, maricon
>>
>>34090336
>my life is over
clearly you've never heard of a abortion clinic
>>
>>34091471
come awnnnnn let's give her that phat 9
>>
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>>34091009
How does Hanson exert such power over these men? Is he a wizard?
>>
>>34090984
>go over to her place a few times
>have first kiss
>lose virginity
you don't belong here, go reddit and whine.
Also you deserve it, if you don't use condom or pull out.
>>
>>34090984
no really i saged this gay post
you deserve the golden award for biggest faggot of
The century for your faggot ass fake story.
>>
>>34091471
lets-a-see if getti my real cock size
>>
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rise ruler.png
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>>34091471
reminds me of these rulers
>>
>>34090984
thats the purpose of our existence you're more normie than normies, it's not normal to wait till your fucking 30 to have kids. being unhappy in a relationship with a kid is a meme lie created by elites to destroy reality and anything natural
>>
>>34091471
lets do this lets do this.
Thread posts: 201
Thread images: 49


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