>Have humiliating and miserable childhood >attempt to create

Please be my axe murdering bf

>>34078084
No

Originally commentio deppressio

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>>34078070
But what if you go on your axe massacre and nothing changes? You just wake up in your bed as if nothing ever happened, or worse in a prison cell awaiting deathrow for 40 years? Or what if this existence is even more cruel and you aren't even given the peace of death? Or perhaps you were made to do this very thing, not able to change the outcome even a little. I'm sure you're blameless in all of this.

How long have you been here and me, how long have we been wandering and wondering? If you do find out any answers please come back here and share, just don't share the head of your axe just yet.

>>34078070

have you considered 1) not getting fucked up on drugs and 2) talking to a therapist?

>>34078343
I just try to go with the flow. I feel like I need to do something, I can't just sit around and let the years pass, all this must have some kind of meaning, or is this my purgatory as I watch others effortlessly connect with one another? I'm not supposed to be here

>>34078321
Okay sorry

Have fun with the massacre. I hope you beat Unek

>>34078430
I'm beyond that, I truly feel alone. An utter hopelessness. I feel hopeless at the fact that even the people I see around me who appear so content will grow old and rot, nothing will last. In the end there will be no record of anything. The ever growing compulsion to down some uppers and experience life for what it truly is grows stronger by the day. What am I waiting for? Anytime now

Bumping for this absolute madman

>>34078451
There are lots of things to do, each just as meaningful or meaningless if you want them to be. You could connect. Perhaps you seeing them connect so effortlessly because they are not truly connecting but merely pretending. A lot of people just play their parts here and they play them so well they fool even themselves.

This isn't just your purgatory at any rate. I'm not an AI typing at you. My legs hurt, my back hurts, I feel pain. I can feel happiness as well. If it was all just to punish you or show you what you could have without you having it, others are suffering and existing independent of you as well.

Do what you will, though I hope you find someone to connect with instead of chopping people up.

>>34078070

can you stop posting your pictures

this is the second pic of your face on this board ive seen today
and i just saw you post again on soc
mnid you i only visited soc because someone reported your post and told you to go there
what are you some sort of narcissist?
get off this board attentin whoring normie

I'm just a ghost, a face in the crowd and every now and then someone will notice me. I'm caught up in my own small world, an endless film, do their flirtatious looks and kind gestures really mean anything? Or do they simply pretend to fit in like myself? I am the lonely protagonist, they are different and unimportant. I'm more of an entity, a consciousness than a person persay. I can't comprehend what it must feel like to be the side characters in my life. Are they self aware, do they even question their own existence? No, they are two dimentional. They are there, I am here.

>>34078867
It's all fun and games until you realize you aren't the protagonist.

Bump, this guy is a true robot

I'm planning this simply for my own freedom, I need to release the valve. No doubt I will be just another headline. I don't even know the names of the lorry driver or the recent shooters in the news.

>>34079119
There has to be another release to your valve. Why harm others more than they're already being harmed. You surely wouldn't want an axe to your face.

>>34079173
I really can't comprehend that scenario, for the sole reason that there is no one like myself who would axe me in the face. That's why I am the protagonist, I do things. Whereas others just fit into the crowd like cardboard cutouts, play their part, grow old and are left to soak in their own urine. They are completely disposable.

>>34079225
Those cardboard cutouts have their own stories before they're soaking in their own piss. They truly believe themselves their own protagonist, but if you cannot understand that or you refuse to, there is nothing I can say to convince you. Hell you might be right. So what do you believe is going to happen when you do what you seek to do? Is reality going to bend to your will or perhaps shatter and reveal to you the real story you're meant to be in? What is the endgame for this story's protagonist?

>>34078070
Hai rotto il fiato. <3

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The only thing we have in common is the humiliating and miserable childhood part.

Instead of creating a protective identity and going down that path, I've just retracted myself from everything. I moved across the country and didn't tell anyone not even my family where I went. I never leave my apartment. No one knows who I am now. I don't care about people anymore. I don't like anything anymore. Nothing matters.

I'm probably going to kill myself within the next few days.

>>34079459
that's cool but you know you're going to die in your apartment and nobody will find your body for like 3 years, right?

do you want to end up like Joyce Vincent?

>>34078610
Shut up stupid AI.

Yea I remember being 15 too.

>>34079488
>do you want to end up like Joyce Vincent?
That is the plan, yes. I want to disappear entirely.

>>34079488
They'll come after a month or two. Not three years.

>>34079459
If there is another side, I wish you the very best of luck and I hope the suffering isn't anything like what it is for you now.

>>34079510
<meta charset="furself">Okay<meta name="robots" content="cunt">

>>34079307
I don't know. I guess that's part of the path of self discovery, who am I, what is my purpose? If I do what I wish with the people I despise will there be anything to truly hold me back? I've made it this far havnt I? I've stolen, lied cheated and bullshitted my way through life and still I'm okay. Only metal bars can truly hold me back. I won't willingly be locked up. So you are right im a way, maybe I do expect reality to bend to my will, for the red curtain to.be finally unveiled. But most likely it's all just one meaningless sick joke, and in a world in which fetuses, growing lifeforms like myself are destroyed and disposed of every day in the name of something it would be too sick for them to understand, it isn't too far fetched. Can you imagine that? Explaining to a fetus why it was created, then sliced up in the name of cheap pleasure, and the fact that millions of people back abortion up. It is truly sick, and yet it doesn't mean anything

>>34079459
Sit around until you die?
Good idea, fagtron!

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>>34078070
Do you need someone to talk to? I've been through some shit and I've seen some shit. It looks like you have lost alot of weight, drugs may seem the only way or the only path now but I promise I can show you different paths.

It's never too late.

>>34078070
You don't look strong enough to be an axe murderer.

>>34079645
Actually I'm a pretty healthy weight I just have really fucking skinny wrists, like... unbelievably thin wrists. But yeah maybe I'm a bit thin, the ket generally makes me not desire food/ want to throw it up

My childhood was miserable and humiliating too

Not having friends meant I never met girls

Not getting girls or having friends meant I became isolated

Becoming isolated meant I became lonely, miserable, bitter through high school

Being miserable and isolated in high school meant I didn't learn how to interact socially with peers

Not learning how to interact with peers carried over into college so i basically had the same existence there

All the isolation, misery, loneliness, etc, meant I had nothing to work towards, so no motivation

No motivation meant I stayed a manlet and holocaust mode (still am, just here for shitposting) and didn't do great in college because studying is difficult when you have no motivation and nothing to strive for

Graduate college, move back home, work shit job because I don't see the point in trying grad school, terrible relationship with parents (they are assholes, I'm an asshole, so we all barely even talk to each other, only child)

Now a 25 year old kissless friendless shut-in (besides work) who has never even attempted to get a girl and now I'm scared to not only try to get a girl, but even friends, because everyone has always hated me so I don't want to burden others with my presence.

And sure I'm ugly as fuck (get rated 3-4/10 online, insulted for my face since I was a kid), but the friendlessness is what has killed all hope for me since I was 13.

>>34079658
/thriggity thread

>>34078070

Che narcisscist bello essere ancora il mio cuore!

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Rolling for this absolute madman. Dubs and I buy him an axe. Check em

Being an expat is lonely. You should see a doctor there right away and then make a phone call and get some help in your own country.

>>34079596
No, I cannot imagine having to explain to a fetus that it was conceived to feel unbearable pain before being snuffed out again because some selfish pair of people decided they didn't want to take the responsibility for their actions. There would be no way to explain the potential parents situation to something they've conspired to kill and because society allows it in the name of liberation and freedom it should "excuse" them. It doesn't. The alternatives could have been worse, the child could grow up in a selfish house and be humiliated and abused and then make their way into adulthood fighting for their piece only to be shit on by reality. Or not. There are so many possibilities and excuses to be had. This world is exactly as cruel as you see it. If you feel so strongly about abortion, why not fight the cause? It would be as valiant a fight as any. You are free to fight your cause to a certain point, you're already held back by bars. We all are. And those parents we've just condemned, well they're held back by the same bars.

So what now? The curtain still hasn't risen, and you still can't see the bars, nor touch them physically. It can always always be worse. I'm not sure an axe to some faces would fix anything, but then again I'm just here soaking in my own piss.

>>34079683
I'm no rookie m8.

I can see it like a gaint fucking billboard plastered on your face, don't lie.

I've seen hundreds of faces like yours, couldn't help em all but that won't stop me from trying.

You aren't at Rock bottom yet but you're fucking cruising there at a nice steady speed.

True brotherhood and love of your fellow man is one of the greatest drugs, you should try it.

you think you're the only fucking person with baggage? quit feeling sorry for yourself. pull it together and do something with your life. nobody deserves to be happy, it isn't anybody's default condition. fight for happiness. take it from others, but do it legally. compete, weakling.

>>34079909
If you actually read, he has been taking his happiness the ways that he can. Also unhelpful.

Pledge allegiance to ISIS first

>life is meaningless
>I better kill some people though

mentalist logic

>>34079835
If I were to really make a change, to plan, target and assassinate political/ enemies who I deem threats to society and my views, maybe it would mean something. Maybe I can make a differance to my existence somehow. I don't want to be a lonely name on a gravestone. There has to be more to this, this life is so linear. The same walks through town, talking to the same people in order to keep up an obligatory healthy social life, stopping by the same shops to browse the same shelves over and over. Buying clothing, the only thing that truly means anything to me. Everything is so obligatory, I do it because im supposed to do it. An improvised script, can I change the course somehow? Is there anything inbetween the lines? Or is that all this existence is, a script

>>34079847
That was pretty poetic

>>34079944
he doesn't seek happiness, he seeks to justify the easiest to solution to his problem: taking it out on others. he's a coward. nobody's existence counts for anything, everything humans conceive is arbitrary. you can let it keep you up at night and turn to substance as a cure or you can distract yourself in ways that won't leave you on your deathbed regretting your life. i'm not sure how you'd define helpful, but there isn't any cure-all of an answer here.

>>34080042
A coward is subjective. In my mind I could be a martyr, a lone warrior, I could see others as the cowards. It really doesn't matter, it's purely subjective, as is most things in life.

>>34078867
>a face in the crowd

please eat something and sleep and then call someone who loves you, i hope there is someone, there must be...

>>34080171
There is no one. My mother was killed in a car accident, she neglected me and brought me up in a bizzare way, cut off from other children, hence I never really knew how tl socially connect with them

>>34079977
Do you see the heroes or protagonists in any book coming to life and deciding they're done with the story? No, they simply aren't written that way and if they are that's because the author wrote them that way. If you are so obligated to your routine why not completely change it (and no not by murdering people), have you just ignored your compulsion to visit that same shop? To talk to that same person? Have you just walked the opposite way home until you've found what you're looking for? It is only as scripted as you've written it, or as someone else has written it for you. Are you controlling your own actions or are you controlled?

"Same shit, different day", I've heard many people use those words. They weren't using them in vain. But what adventures do you seek beyond 'this'? Go live as a hermit in the woods, find your purpose under a rock. Fuck if I know, but if this world isn't a book and you claim to be the protagonist why the heck would it be the same day in and day out? Ask yourself, only you know. Go seek a difference, it most certainly won't seek you as fast as you'd like.

People claim all sorts of fanciful things about life, that I want to believe that there is more to this, but it isn't in an axe to the face. Not for me, at least. Or maybe it is, I can't see the future.

>>34080246
I appreciate you talking with me, you seem intelligent.

>>34080111
subjective is an easy escape until you find something everyone agrees on. OP has proven he cares what other people think, and most can agree what he wants is cowardly. oh, sure, the universe is indifferent, but we're humans, we value each other's opinion.

>>34078070

Oh look it's this fucking faggot again.

Changed tactics huh?

you went from retarded tripfag to edgy attention whore.

Anyways, go fuck yourself.

your suffering is in no way unique.

>>34080298
Not all of us, only the opinions of those who mean something to me.

>>34080316
jesus christ thank you for not feeding him i'm so glad someone sees through this

>>34080338
and they would agree that your coping strategies are cowardly. that should burn as much as wjatever they said to humiliate you

Your brown eyes are disgusting. You're not white and must be killed.

>>34078070
probably shouldn't ax massacre. if you want to do that just go to the middle east and ax murder ISIS pl0x

your ax massacre wont mean shit in a white first world country

kill ISIS faggot, kill all of ISIS and it will mean something

if you want to throw your life away do it while taking as many of those ISIS sand niggers with you

>>34080296
I'm far far from it, but thank you all the same for conversing with me as well.

>>34080223
Please don't die. Find an Italian girl in a bar to take care of you for a week. Do you have enough $?

>>34080223
Ah! An orphan, my poor baby! Open up to some aquaintance and ask for help. You must stop doing drugs, you are too beautiful it will ruin you in a few months and though you think so you are not ruined yet.

>>34078867
You've done too much ket mate.

I have similar thoughts on ket during peroids of depression. You'll be alright just lay off it for a while and try to give yourself a bit of credit for the things you have achieved.