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The kind of girl you meet at a show when she steals your hat, a 76ers snap-back no less, which for a second annoys the shit out of you until you see she's wearing a fishnet top and pasties. You try to tell her she's not keeping the hat, but she can't hear you above the noise, so she takes out her phone and pulls you in for a selfie, pursing her lips and grabbing the brim of your hat to bring one side down just above the eye like every hot white girl does when they find something even remotely "urban." At this point, she's been away from her friends too long, but you're a "cute boy" with a 76ers snap-back and she's not about to let THAT go, so she grabs your hand and yells something like "come meet my friends!" which you know actually means "my friends need to approve you as my hookup tonight." You're pretty stoked someone this hot decided to choose you for that honour. The night goes on, you make out, she demands shots but never pays, and eventually you wind up outside her parents house, her begging you to come in. You're not about to risk having the father of a girl this beautiful find you in bed with her, so she agrees to just "cuddle" on the back patio, by the pool. Now that there's no noise or friends around, you actually start talking, at which point you realize just how intelligent she really is. She puts her hand up your shirt as you lie there together, her telling you some pointless story about this time a friend of hers "nearly got raped by a cab driver", you trying not to mention that finding a cab driver creepy doesn't mean her friend was "almost raped."
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Eventually you fuck, after like 4 hours of her talking and slapping your hand away from all the fun bits saying "I'm NOT that kind of girl". You're not about to go upstairs to her bed, so you ring up an Uber, exchange numbers, and go on your way. You're thinking "that was pretty fucking awesome" and then it hits you. She still has your fucking hat. And there it will stay, in a walk-in-closet alongside innumerable other hats this indiscriminate hat thief has taken over the years, until she finds someone just as dumb and attractive as herself who gets super uncomfortable when she shows up to move in with a box full of hats she has stolen from brief boyfriends and one night stands. She'll get knocked up, join the yummy mummy brigade that tote their children to high class coffee shops, then eventually divorce when her fitness trainer husband starts banging his clients. Facebook will be omniscient at this point, and you'll get a friend suggestion one day from a botoxed, bleach blonde in her mid 40's doing the duck face while wearing a 76ers snap-back dipped just above the eye.
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The sixers suck ass she has shit taste and so do you
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>>34039494
and then she says "im tired, go home"
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>>34039534
This is copypasta...also don't be upset because no female has ever or will ever take your hat...
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>>34039494
None lf this would happen bc I'd be with my QT 5'9" GFI'm 5'6"
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