/britfeel/

Need to get a haircut today. Fucking hate it

>>34035465
How long is your hair?
I'm scared of people holding sharp things near my head so I tend to stay silent while I focus on him fucking my hair up or cutting my ear or something.

>>34035542

Not especially, but it's insanely thick so once I get beyond 3 weeks it's totally unmanageable and I look ridiculous

It hasnt been that cold here

just got home from the night shift lads

having a nice glass of bourbon, gonna get an hour of sleep and then video games

Who /back to uni/ soon?

And were back at work for another exciting day of thinking of new ways I might magically die while at a desk

>>34035652
what do you do anon

original pudding

>>34035661
IT support innit. The only thing I can do.

>>34035701
fuck. I was just looking at how to get into this. I fancy a change in career.

Reckon I could get in without any experience/no degree in comp sci? I have a masters degree tho.

Is it help desk work?

>>34035722
I just went into an apprenticeship when I dropped out of sixth form but my qualifications are pretty shit other than that so I don't see why not. But I don't know how it is other than that.

Its basically help desk work plus some admin stuff for a smallish company.

>>34035761
what are the hours/pay like?

I just figure being an autist, sitting all day at a desk with a computer would be pretty swell.

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This is a morning roll call for waifus

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>>34035803
muh waifu ^.^ hehe

>>34035792
Hours is 9 to 5. Pay is better than retail but I think it varies a lot depending on exactly what you're doing. If youre just a genetic desk guy it's probably a bit shit but if you have to maintain a lot of shit like servers you can be on top dollar

Where is manlytears :^((((

why won't you fucking replyyyy
reeeeeee
you joke about seen-zoning but you do it yourself?
how long am I meant to wait to talk to you again if you don't actually respond?

>>34035803

What if I've yet to be issued with one?

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>>34035803
hello this is my waifu
this is also an original post

All I've done in the last week is fantasize about hanging myself down near the college so I can traumatize some roasties

>>34036234
You'll find her one day m8

>>34036201
>how long am I meant to wait to talk to you again if you don't actually respond?
A relatable feel... How do you move on?

>>34036348
Talk to new ppl
Go on skype less

Switzerland wins case obliging Muslim parents to send girls to school-run swimming lessons with boys

>>34036348
this isn't a move on situation because it's a male friend who I see in person and not a oneitis
doesn't make it any less awkward to re-initiate conversation though

>>34036416

Source? I'm only interested because in the deeply not Muslim heartland of Cheshire I distinctly remember having gender segregated swimming lessons in primary school.

What do you neet lads do all day?

Do you ever get into a mood where you feel completely listless and can't think of anything to do? What the fuck do I do lads

>>34036434
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38569428

>>34036440
>implying I'm a neet
uni's paying me to teach high school kids in a holiday program
25 quid an hour

>>34036453

I feel like this isn't such an important news story that they couldn't have waited for some more info before posting it. Because at the time of my accessing it, it's literally just what >>34036416 said.

>>34036440
I have been a neet for about 2 and a half weeks and I am getting this feeling already.

I have watched so many tv series and awful films. I woke up at about 8am this morning, had coffee and breakfast and am so bored already that i'm literally just working through various threads on here and re watching Arrested Development in the background.

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>>34035803
My group has to present something in a few hours, but I know we're all going to fail because we were too apathetic towards it.
Fuck group work.

I tricked my Tinder into thinking I was in Thailand and now Thai qt3.14s are matching me left right and centre looking for the white cock
Now I feel bad because I have led them on :(

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>>34035803
>had a bath before bed
>slept in a cool room with the window open
>woke up drenched in sweat

why

Bit quiet in here this morning lads.

I'm usually not up until after dinner. So I am assuming that the wagies are at work and most of the neets are sleeping in?

WILL NO ONE TELL ME WHERE MANLYTEARS IS

YOU GUYS ARE BIG BULLIES >:^((((

>>34036876
In his eight chan /cow/ thread probablly, fuck that cunt.

>>34036829
I'm phoneposting from work because I'm a lazy slacker. I guess the other wageslaves have stricter bosses or a better work ethic.

Also my tooth hurts, do you think this is related to me never brushing them?

>>34036961
>Also my tooth hurts, do you think this is related to me never brushing them?
most likely lad yeah. I have neglected my brushing for the last couple of weeks and they already hurt. Not that I was particularly religious about it anyway,

>I'm phoneposting from work because I'm a lazy slacker. I guess the other wageslaves have stricter bosses or a better work ethic.
You're a naughty boy! But I am secretly glad that you're getting paid to post. Make sure you have a nice big, long shit at work too, getting paid to poo is the fucking best.

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Had a panic attack today lads. Was so bad that I forgot to breath and my heart started to hurt and beat irregularly. The anxiety is literally killing me, what can I do except kill myself??

the normies next door are ruining my comfy levels

Got a 5 quid free bet at paddy power.

>>34037006
What they doing

>>34036940
why don't you like manlytears

had an appointment at the bank today for a loan but I cancelled it. I can't prove my earnings so there is no way I will get a loan off them. shit sucks at the moment

>>34036992
I have honestly probably brushed my teeth about three times in as many years. I think good genetic luck is probably the only reason they haven't fallen out yet, I don't exactly eat healthy either.

Paid to poo is pretty decent I agree, I personally like sneakily doing survey sites or mechanical turk shit at my desk, getting paid twice for my time is pretty sweet.

>>34037008
playing techno music obscenely loud and shouting at each other

>today is my final day of neetdom
>tomorrow I become a wageslave
help

>>34037110
Welcome to hell. We dine together.

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LOOK AWAY, HARRY: If the Mail were a boyfriend it would be a mess of paranoia, neediness and cloying attachment.

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>>34035431
>normally wake up at 6pm-12am and sleep all day
>reset my sleep hours and wake up at a more normal time like 11am
>feel like absolute shit mentally and physically
>comparing everything to how it was in 2011 cause I had a nightmarish dream about my neet routine in 2011

going to do a lethal dose of exercise and grapes

i cant stop bloody trumping lads, they smell like warmed up death too

>>34037137
>comfortable with his girlfriend being intimiate with other men
>s-she was just pretending

What a cuck.

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Finally got around to finishing Knights of Sidonia

>Midorikawa's a FtM tranny and lesbo's with Izana
>Tsumugi died but was reborn as a human with Ochiai's worm thing and had Nagate's kids
>Izana and half of Sidonia fuck off into space at the end while Nagate and the other half settle on a colonised planet
>No explanation what the gauna are, where they came from or what they wanted

Fuck you Nihei, what a fucking joke

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>>34035803
posted
>>34035844
wouldn't she be a whalefu?

>doing opinion surveys for a bit of cash
>tells me that they were designed to be fun to complete!
>after about 20 minutes on my first survey the complete bar jumps from 50% to 22% and it asks me all the same questions again

JUST

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-38570076

>tfw my saline bag doesn't have a lethal dose of morphine

>>34037309
the look of love and adoration in her eyes, she knows the good doctor is there to help

i have moved to 7 houses in 9 years and my mum has just put in for another one

why does she do this

>>34037427
nomadic heritage?

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>>34035803
Here you go dude, somewhat vintage I know but a waifu is for laifu after all

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>>34035803
>TFW didn't sleep at all last night

Ok surveying is not bad. Just earned 2.50 in about an hour while lying in bed. Can't complain really.

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>>34035431

OY VEY, Look who's risen from the grave

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-38570076

>>34037589
Were you consistently surveying or shitposting too?

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>>34037590
>britfeel has memed a new shipman into existence by shippositng

>>34037306

How do you find legit surveys that give you cash to complete? How much?

>>34037641
Meme magic has become too real.

>>34037705
Real, but not too real. Everything we can do to usher in an age of chaos sounds good to me. To bring gods and magic back to the world sounds like valuable work.

>>34037746
>To bring gods and magic back to the world
this is the world i want to live in

>>34037763
Then offer up your worship to Kek, that his works will take more lives and destabilise reality.

>>34037786
> offer up your worship to Kek
i already do,lad

>>34037631
some light shitposting sprinkled in.

I'm taking a survey right now.

>>34037701
You earn points for taking them depending on the length of the survey. They ask you qualifying questions to see if you can take it but I just lie and say yes to everything. Every survey you get linked to is from a different company so it's not like they can tell I am lying.

You then cash your points in for either vouchers (200-ish points), paypal cash (50 points = 2,50) or amazon/itunes credit (50 points=2.50)

Each survey so far I have gotten between 5 points for a 5 minute survey and about 20 points for a 15 minute survey. The cheeky cunts will add little extras in though to pad them sometimes. It's time consuming, but what else have I got to do?

Oh also if you get one about pay for tv services like netflix and shit, big up how much you love and watch netflix and amazon and stuff. they might offer you a week long survey with a "substantial compensation" at the end. Worth a go innit?

The website is opinion outpost UK but I wont link it in case a jannie decides to be a bit of a cunt and remove it.

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>>34035803
Posting a cute.

All this scaremongering in the news and papers about the cold weather coming our way is pretty laughable. I doubt it will even be that cold and I seriously doubt we will get much snow which if we do will only be a light dusting.

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>>34035803
Wow, would you look at that? It's me fucking up life again

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>Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has told the BBC he stands by his view that immigration to the UK is not too high.

>>34037818
It's being a bit of a cunt at the minute though desu, get most of the way through a survey and then it tells me that I don't qualify. Now it is saying that "this surveys has been completed by other members" every time I try, I think I may have been a bit over zealous with these fuckers.

>>34037848
The warnings are for the immigrants, some have already died in Finland due to their cold winter

>>34037880
Oh my heart bleeds.

Seriously who gives a fuck about the ficki fickies?

>>34037898
The people who enjoy the cheap labour I guess

I hope winter-chan sees to their demise

>>34035431
Does anyone have the image of Feels Guy wearing the Pepe hoodie?

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>>34035803
Just saw myself on a dashcam video, I literally do the virgin walk. arms out like i'm constantly unbalanced, strange hand movements, a basic lack of confidence when doing something as simple as walking down the street

ROUTINE STARTS TODAY, I'M GONNA MAKE IT LADS

>>34037964
>doesn't post it

what have you got to lose lad

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>>34037858
>mfw I went to put mum's prescription in at the doctors and there were literally no white people

>>34037983
only saw it on the dashcam itself, if I get hold of the file I'll post it

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>>34037954
use google next time you lazy faggot

>>34037989
Where abouts you live Senpai?

>>34037856
what's got you all glum, lad

Bad boys bad boys what you gonna do what you gonna do when they come for you

>>34038129
stab em in the throat

>>34038000
Please do, would love to see exactly what the vaunted Virgin Walk looks like so I too can try to avoid it.

What do you want to be when you're older?

>>34038227
happy

originalle

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>>34035431

Going to attempt to replace my brake discs and pads today

>>34038227
>What do you want to be when you're older?
Dead.

>>34038227
Rich and retired but with no effort required

whats the most degenerate thing you've done lads?

>>34038364
wanking outside is probably the worst thing i've done

>>34038364
let my dog lick my boner

>>34038364

Probably can't post it here desu

>>34038364
probably cumming directly into my mouth a few times

>>34038364
sodomized my self with a cucumber which was later consumed

>>34038364
aggressively fucked a vicar

>>34038364
Probably banging a girl after reading from Lolita to her, since I knew she was into that. I once wore an adult nappy. Did Daddy/ daughter roleplay. Pissed on someone. Take your pick really.

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>>34038463
>sodomized my self with a cucumber

Not that surprising for a 4channer

>Which was later consumed
pic related

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I'm so fucking exhausted. I can't take this anymore.

>>34038364
stolen underwear,rubbed my dick with them, then put them back

>>34038495
>banging a girl
>dd roleplay
>pissplay
fuck off

ESA people have sent me an appointment and I've not been to the doctors in a few months

Guess they are cutting my bennies

>>34038595
Too casual, or not virginal enough? Don't worry, she was when I found her ;)

>>34038621
you know exactly what you're doing, and you're not welcome here

>>34038617
I stopped with ESA about two years ago now. Poorer to be sure, but it's better than living in constant fear. Collapsing whenever I got a brown envelope through the door. Truly a hellish way to live.

What's a good movie to watch heroin on lads?

>>34038364
when i was a kid i used to get lazy and not want to go to the toilet so i dug my finger into my ass when it was full of shit and got a big dollop out, put it in my mouth to liquidfy it then spit it out behind my bed

>>34038641
Are you wage slaving now? I've been on for about a year and that's only because my dad an heroed that they gave it to me.

Also I started studying again so they'll take one look and cut my money

>>34038663
HEROIN ADDICTION: Quitting before it kills.

Handily there is a youtube version to make things easier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO7q_huH968

>>34038663

I thought one just stared at the wall when on heroin

>>34038663
You wont be able to concentrate on a film even if you do put one on.

>>34038697
Not really making ends meet tbqhwy. I'm doing part time work and was promised more hours but basically I'm going to have to look for a second part time job to break even. I barely work at all, but that's not by choice - it's because the company's in danger of going under and work is thin on the ground at the moment. I make about 250 quid a month after bills and rent. But when you factor in transport costs, phone contract and gym membership it's markedly less. Enough to get by though, just about.

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>>34038711
herion addiction you say?

>>34038641
>Collapsing whenever I got a brown envelope through the door

IKTF

>>34038684
holy fucking shit anon what the fuck

>>34038763
You shouldn't really laugh because it's some poor old woman who was murdered but Shipposting is the absolute tits, I can't get over it.

>>34038771
It doesn't help that paranoia is a big part of my symptoms. I'd shout at my family if they ever drew the curtains because I was certain I was being watched, and became afraid of any vans in case they were surveilling/ planning to abduct me. I'm a bit better now at least.

>tfw hard to eat cheaply anymore

used to be able to make lots of different meals with cheap canned fish but now its 90% bones 10% fish

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>>34038364
Wear girls clothes and jerk off in them. I'll be able to say something else next month

>>34038815
this is one of my fatanises I want to play out whats next month? are you the one of the weebs who are meeting up next month?

>>34038831
Of course he is, he's been bragging about it every day for the last week or so

>>34038831
Don't play it out, because it will probably stunt you in some regard, just try to jerk off less so things that get you off are less extreme. Yes

>>34038859
>>34038865
you better post pics of it when it happens

I hardly ever jerk off and when I do its only to crossdressing sissies and other such things

Whereabouts are you fags meeting? Norf or Sahf?

>>34038815
I bet you're gonna get so much AIDS

>>34038741
>>34038732
I'm not shooting up, probs smoking. I just want something nice in the background while I have my comfy adventure.

>>34038641
I'm on ESA and after my initial assessment they've left me alone for a year. It's the sweetest NEETbux there is.

>>34039002
Can you elaborate on what ESA is, how much you get, how to qualify, and how you got it? etc etc

>>34039002
They could put a letter through your door tomorrow. You're never safe. Always looking over your shoulder. It could all come tumbling down at any moment.

I bet lenposter's hair smells like strawberries and vanilla

>>34039075
In my mind it's like french vanilla ice cream. Hugging lenposter would feel like the safest place in the world.

>>34039024
It's basically if you're medically unfit to work for a long period. it's 125 a week and I got it because my physiciatrist/therapist/doctor all agreed and helped me apply.

Aberlour A'Bunadh down to 35 quid in Waitrose, looks like tonight is going to be fun

>mum bought a tub of hummus from costco

oh no

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JUST STUBBED MY FUCKING TOE!

IT'S GRAZED TOO AAAAA!

>>34038811
just checked my letter box gotta brown envelope gotta go and see a work coach ffs. don't they know i suffer with agoraphobia and paranoia

>>34039207
I read that as "a tub of humans", like your mum was buying soylent green or something.

>>34039116
How did you apply for it? I have a JSA interview soon and think I may be eligible

>>34039218
Oh, they know anon. Just like they know when they arrange an appointment to see if someone's terminal cancer is cured or their leg has grown back. Stay strong my friend.

>>34039255
Thanks for the support mate it's appreciated

>>34035594
Snow is on its way lad.

drinkin some bovril (beef ofc) and glaring at a blank word document

why would uni give me an essay to write when i ave a really important exam on thursday with no time to revise for it

fuck everything man i'm gonna fail one of my modules so i might as well accept it now desu

>>34039250
I think you can just do it online? They send you a thick booklet that you have to fill in and also have to send in appointment letters, copies of perscriptions, proof of diagnosis, contact details for your doctors etc. Then you have a face to face assessment which is scary as fuck for guys like us but it's better than some paki in a jobcentre trying to force you into a McJob every 2 weeks.

>>34039309
When is your essay due for? I found out I have work due in for midnight tonight that I wasn't even aware of

Just making sure, but if I'm only working one day a week, I can still apply for JSA right?

>>34039309
So glad I dont to to uni. Id 100% fail

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Completed my first day at the gym lads.
Some stonking grills doing squats and stretches in front of where I was lifting, Had the best seat in the house.
My phone battery drained before I could post.
Tomorrow I'll have those pictures you wanted anon.

Brother is listening to nigger music again

what should I blast in return

>>34039388
Drone-metal

>>34039388
Eurobeat and Vapourwave

At the same time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4bKcyAfwHs

you sounded pretty moody today in the taste test lee, whats the problem?

>>34039318
thursday evening at 5pm like literally what the heck, my exam is at 9am

>>34039355
wish i never went desu, wish i stayed at home and got a comfy desk job or something instead of getting overly stressed and ill three hours away from my mummy

>>34039388
we are number one

>>34039415
Sore throat from the bull paying a visit.

>>34039442
>We Are Number One but every 'one' is replaced with a Shiposting video, but every time the word 'morphine' is said, it cuts to an entire episode of Peep Show

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I'm at about 35 messages with the OKC milf lads, we're just aimlessly chatting at this point. probably should've asked her out by this point. I'm not sure why I'm even using OKC, when it gets down to the nitty gritty I have no true intentions of meeting anyone

I just want a fuckbuddy honestly, and I'm not achieving that without chad status

In other news I woke up to 25 likes from bots, fucking nora

>>34039407
>eurobeat

based, was just listenting
https://youtu.be/Sal_xB3WpVs

>>34039337
Yeah think it's up to 16 hours and you're fine.

Has anyone else noticed how deodorant bottles don't have as much in them these days? My roll on bottles last a few weeks tops these days when they used to last years.

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>>34039550
Everything is 70% air these days.

>mfw buying a bag of crisps and it's only 1/3 full

>>34039550
I noticed some of the roll on ones got really shit and went down a lot faster. Thankfully I found the Dove spray stuff works well for me. I find quite a few brands, especially the sprays, do almost nothing on me for some reason

>>34039598
>tfw trying not to eat crisps or drink beer in 2017

Its really fucking hard

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My mother only talks to me about my problems in an effort to support me. I do not want to think about these problems as I have specific places to do that such as my psychologist.

I know she is just doing it to try and support me but it just makes my mind race about those topics when I'm not in the right place to tackle them, and if I point that out it'll hurt her feelings and make her worry she's hurting me/being a bad mum.

The only way to resolve this without anyone getting upset is by her realising on her own that she should try to avoid those topics, as if I mention it I'll become conscious of her purposefully not bring them up - causing me to start thinking about them.

My life is full of waiting for people to pick up on things like this about each other so no one gets upset and learns normally. I don't think it's ever going to happen, I will never socialise. I am the quiet, respectful man who will die alone out of too much respect for others feelings.

Anyone know tfw too intelligent to be happy ?

>>34039598
Its nitrogen in a bag of crisps keeps them fresher for longer

>>34039315
What did you get it for, if you dont mind me asking?

>tfw still havent died in my sleep

>>34039634
BPD. Was also recovering from drug/alcohol abuse and self harming.

>>34039648
>want to die in my sleep
>body won't let me sleep

>>34039598
Walkers are the worst offenders for this imo, even supermarket crisps have more in them.
>>34039609
Yep, the one I'm using is an "active 48" brand and it doesn't appear to do much at all. I've got a sure for men lined up next and it smells more promising.
>>34039628
I don't drink but everyone likes a bag of crisps every once in a while.

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ordering cassette tapes in the 2010s lads

I'm such a madman

Playing Bayonetta and im annoyed because i was doing well and getting at least silver every chapter but now that i have panther mode unlocked (which is mapped to double tapping the dodge button) i keep fucking getting hit by turning into a panther instead of dodging.

Just turned the game off now.

>>34039692
Dad get off the internet you disgusting hoarder.

Are brits the only people allowed to post here? If so I am sorry.

>>34039692
what are you planning to do with blank tapes?

>>34039692
There is no reason to ever use a casette. All you should be buying is a converter to strip the data from the tapes you own.

>>34039713
Stop spamming the dodge button and get your timing sorted, lad.

>>34039718
jump in and post lad. Where are you from?

it's really just a feels thing, but we can relate to each other a bit better than most. you might not understand a bunch of the references though.

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>>34039725
I sell old video game soundtracks on tape to hipsters

good money desu

>>34039725
I know that, my market doesn't, and the longer they go without knowing it the better it works out for me

>>34039715
I love you even though you disappoint me son

>>34039736
It's not my fault the camera is a fucking hot mess that swings around wildly and half of the enemies are just writhing balls of metal with all the recognizability of Micheal Bay transformers.

I have no problem with parries in MGR.

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>ESA assessment
>Nurse is really worried and says I need a psychiatrist appointment ASAP
>Place I get my not quite CBT from finally cave and offer me an appointment
>Some indian guy rocks up and does nothing but listen for 5mins and just gives me a official diagnoses for depression
>ESA people are happy to keep paying me bennies but still no actual therapy or counseling
>6months pass and another appointment

I wonder what they will do this time

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>>34039718
You have to pass as a brit, especially don't say you're not British.

You already failed, congratulations.

>>34039777
Mind telling us why you kept your old baby teeth in the wendy house alongside the 3 lawnmowers?

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How are your New Year's Resolutions going, lads?

Have you quit smoking? Have you started exercising? Have you applied for a job? Have you asked her out, yet?

>>34039800
they weren't mine

they were trophies

>>34039793
You're gonna get fucking walloped by Gracious and Glorious with that attitude.

>>34039803
My only new years resolution is to not have one

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>>34039771
>>34039797
I don't know who I'm supposed to believe

>>34039795
It's not about getting you help, lad. It's about ticking boxes so they get paid and you get paid.

Besides, if you get help then they'll take you off ESA. And the less people they have on it, the less funding the local jobcentre will get and then people will lose their jobs.

>>34039817
Where did you win them at the gardeners dueling grounds?

>>34039819
ive already fought them 3 times or more seeing as i have panther mode.

>>34039851
I'm a serial killer, son

little boys

you're lucky to have lived past 6

>>34039840
Britfeel threads should have country flags on the posters.

>>34039854
Oh you poor soul.

I'm talking about the upgraded versions of them that cancel your ability to stop time ;^)

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>tfw really stiff neck

>>34039865
But what if you proxy?

>>34039865
That would only cause mass bullying

Horny as fuck desu.

Post your cocks lads. I have a fetish for NEETs, fatties etc I'm not even joking

>>34039907
Fuck off you degenerate, we're trying to be civilized for once.

>>34039907
would you like to suck my stinky phimosis neet peepee

>>34039876
>I wish i was marathoning a Quiz game right now.
>I bet these girls don't even know about motorcycles like Abe-san.

Bored at work so I'm just sat picking my nose lads

>>34039907
Bugger off, wankstain.

>check the daily porn uploads
>trannies, incest mommy shit, humiliation JOI shit

Does no one still just jerk it to slags getting shagged?

>>34039952
>Wanking to 3DPD

Get a load of this tosspot and his NORMAL penis.

>>34039512
those are all fake profiles you Nesbit. its been flooded with them lately.

>>34039952
I do. But mostly to mind control stuff. Normal adults actually having a regular consensual banging session is so last century.

>>34039972
nvm I read your post wrong.

>>34039923
not sure about that but if you post it I'll probably fap to it

>>34039885
Most proxys are blocked from posting.

>>34039894
Flags without ID's.

I found someones phone out by the curb lads, how do I find out who owns it? I'm very nervous and don't like talking to strangers.

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Afternoon, /britfeel/!

Hope your days haven't been too bad, what have you all been up to?

>>34037159
Good job, you're doing great!

>>34039384
Well done, anon! Did you enjoy it?

>>34040054
if it's unlocked just find "mum" in the contacts, If it's locked just wait for it to ring.

>>34040084
still havent started my essay and my housemate has a bunch of notes on the same topic but wont lend me them

i just can't get myself to write it, i know it'll be shit

>>34040088
I took the battery out just in case someone is listening in on me.

>>34040088
What about the police, can I just drop it off with them? I don't want the hassle of dealing with people IRL.

>>34040136
absolutely, walk into the station tell them where and when you find it and they can deal with it

There's some strange red mark on my arm. I don't know when it got there, or why, but something must be wrong. It worries me a little but I don't know if it's enough to go see the doctor about it. Perhaps if it starts hurting I will.

Apparently masturbation breaks would help increase office productivity

>>34040147
Will they mind if I've left it for a few days before reporting it? It was soaking wet so I let it dry out but last night it came alive with text messages, that's when I got scared and removed the battery.

>>34039840
>canada
>making fun of the weather
>being pathetic

youre welcome here, empirebro

>Send support ticket
>They send me gibberish in response
>Send another support ticket
>Ignored

I WANT MY MONEY

>>34040178
doesn't matter. just say you let it dry out so you could try and get it back to the owner. You had no luck so you're handing it in.

They'll be surprised you've handed it in at all I imagine.

>>34040161
post pic, i get random red spots on my arm but they're fine.

>>34040215
hmm ok I'll see if my parents can drop it off there at some point.

I don't like mobile phones what will all the spying that goes on these days so I'd be glad to see the back of it.

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>>34040196
I'm not pathetic, nor am I making fun of anything. It was the only picture in my folder that could hint at my country of origin, which felt appropriate as a response. Still, thanks for letting me post. I appreciate it, and you.

>>34040167
Yeah I would imagine that stopping the masturbation for just 5 minutes to do some work would help a lot

>>34040215
>>34040235
Also I could have opened the text message last night but with all the deceitful people in the world I don't want to go poking around on it in case I get accused of something.

Phones should have a little option on the lock screen to report the phone missing or something.

which rich robot wants to give me some money then?

>>34040267
>Phones should have a little option on the lock screen to report the phone missing or something.

not a bad idea actually, though the potential for hijinx and misuse seems pretty high

>>34040084
Please confirm what your hair smells like and if hugging you is in fact the safest place in the world.

>>34039075
>>34039100

>>34039923
>Phimosis

What happens when you cum? does it fill the skin around the head and just dribble out?

post it pls

>>34040253
>accidental british humour

damn i thought it was intentional

>>34040266
chuckled

originally

i love you guys
it's so cozy here desu

>>34040320
Sorry but no, I don't understand your people. I wish to.

>>34040350
You must be a post brexit free trade negotiator in training

Highlight of your day? Mine is checking to see how many minutes of daylight we've gained since the December solstice.

Back to being unemployed again. Hi again /britfeel/.

How hard is getting a job in London?

>>34040293
I wish it smelled like Vanilla ice cream! However the reality is it smells like pic related.
Kind of hard to describe what it smells like, I think it's nice though.

I have been known to ease tense relations between Israel and Palestine by giving each trade negotiator a bit of a hug but that's just part time.


>>34040338
We love you too, anon.

>>34040374
How many minutes have we gained, Chrono Anon?

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>>34040374
>Highlight of your day?
This meme

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>>34040405
>Forgot the pic

Well done, doofus.

>>34040374
Those few minutes lying in bed before I had to get up for slavery

>>34040405
About 23 minutes give or take a few depending on where abouts in the country you are.

By the end of the month we will have gained an extra hour of daylight on top of that.

>>34040266
Here's something that could make 2017 the best year on record -- officially endorsed masturbation breaks in the office. Five minutes off, or as long as you need, to reduce stress and give yourself something to work towards during the day. Cross all the items off your "to do" list by 3:30pm and off to the cubicle you may trot.

Metro asked some serious science people whether introducing office policies on workplace masturbation would work or not, and there was a pretty unanimous yes -- so feel free to take a "break" any time you like. Psychologist and life coach Dr Cliff Arnall, for example, said of the possible future Wanking at Work schemes that: "I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling. Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus."

He warns against thinking about your favourite, most sympathetic, kind-eyed work colleague while doing so, though, as it could create a "cognitive impairment" or encourage inappropriate behaviour outside of the privacy of the toilet cubicles.

Plus Matthew McConaughey said it was key to successfully making money in the 1980s, so that advice is probably still true toda

>>34040447
That's really neat, thanks anon.

>>34040213
I usually go full autism when they ignore me, ring them constantly and refuse to speak to the person who has picked up - demand a manager, send about a 1000 tickets, send emails to each address that is listed on their site, post on their forums.

>>34040472
I believe you're the fingerbox anon and if so I love your work

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>Tfw breaking out of this two star town
>Tfw probably moving to Hull

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>>34040499
That would make meetups slightly easier

>>34040499
>Hull

jesus are you ok?

Thats coming from someone in Scunthorpe

>>34039803

Haven't gambled yet, haven't drunk yet (I'm not gamble-anon btw, just another britfeel gambler)

>>34040565
>>34040499
could be worse lads, you could be from grimsby

>>34040565
Shit forgot my cheeky face pic to show I was just playing with ya. Which I have now discovered I don't have. Wasn't trying to be mean lad.

How come you're moving to Hull?>>34040499

>>34040477
No problem, I'm really autistic when it comes to the sun position in the sky and day lengths. It all started when I wanted to know how the poles experience 24 hours of daylight and darkness in the summer and winters.

>>34040374
Fixing my car, finding out I didn't even need to replace some parts, returning them and finishing the day 82 bong up

>>34040374

I may have told you before but even though the December solstice is the shortest day, the earliest sunset is actually on December 12th, but yeah it's good we're finally getting out of the ridiculous sunsets of 3:53 and at least to 4:16 now

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>>34040597
leeds or hull are the two uni offers I accepted

my results haven't been the best so far so I'm probably going to end up at the latter

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how to kill yourself without being in pan?

>>34040379
got a webcam? i made about 20k in 7 months of streaming solo gay cam shows (had a regular offer a substantial ammount to come and bang me but im actually not gay)

>>34040638
Do it away from the kitchen.

>>34040629
That's alright if you're just going there for uni. It can't be any worse than my uni

>>34040638
put your head on a train track when a train's coming

it'll cut your head off very fast

Cutting my forehead with a knife because im bored and sad

>>34040680
Do it at a blind spot and not near a station

>>34040405
It was gettting and wearing my new Barbour jacket with matching flat cap .

I think the flat cap is the British version of the fedora

>>34040722
Nah, flat caps are for lads.

Fedoras for nerds, learn the difference it'll save your life.

afternoon lads its my birthday today, only my mum wished me a happy birthday just wondered if some of my britfeel pals could send some birthday (You)'s my way would make my day tbhonest.

thanks lads have a comfy evening

>>34039803
trying to save money, got 20 so far, aiming for at least 10 a week so I am on track with that

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>>34040606
>it's good we're finally getting out of the ridiculous sunsets of 3:53 and at least to 4:16 now
Agreed. I know most people here like the "comfiness" of a dark winters day but personally it just makes my mood go down the toilet, plus around here the sun is so low that its hidden behind a neighboring property. In the summer our garden is practically sunny until dawn till dust because of the way it skims the horizon for most of the twilight hours.
>the earliest sunset is actually on December 12th
I still don't fully understand why that is, can you sum it up for a simpleton like me? I know the earths orbit isn't a perfect circle so that must contribute to it a little.

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>>34040744

How old are (you) today?

>>34040638
Sincerely, a lethal dose of morphine if you have access, dark web maybe?

>>34040780
24 but i feel 40

>>34040606
>finding out I didn't even need to replace some parts
Oh I hate that, but sometimes you just don't know until you're in the middle of fixing it. I always end up buying too much crap from hardware stores when doing a project.

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>>34040744
Happy birthday fella.

Have a delicious (you) for pudding

>>34040744
Happy birthday, 24 currently, 25 in 2 months. 24 was fucking torture.

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>>34040744
Happy birthday lad! Have a card.

>>34040744
Happy birthday anon!

>>34040722
Have you checked for Middle class old man-itis?
Next you'll be sitting in an empty pub, with a whippet dog and sip half a paint of bitter while reading the newspaper.

>>34040816
Blimey, that makes me feel depressed. I'm exactly like this whenever my birthday comes round

>>34040779
>practically sunny until dawn till dust
Practically sunny dawn until dusk, then when the sun goes down the all night twilight is great for night walks*

I had a dream my mum and grandad (her dad) started flirting and being touchy with each other and I found out that they were in a relationship.

I ended up moving out and living with druggies.

I feel sick thinking about my grandad now.

>>34040744
Happy birthday mate!

Glad you'll be spending it with us lad

>tfw no one calls me out on being a NEET except for my brother
feels bad, but he's right about everything he says

>>34040722
>I think the flat cap is the British version of the fedora

Nah, they're fine. They're one of the more acceptable types of headwear. There's no pretence of "classy" which is what makes fedoras and the like bad

>>34040875
my mum used to regularly make me leave the house for hours on end while jobseeking when i just use indeed and monster on my phone so she gave up on that when she realised i just used to sit on starbucks wifi all day to jobseek

>>34040744
fuck now im sad that this is my 26th year

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>>34040499
near me gay hull meet up when?

2 days until probation. I can't wait. I enjoy probabtion

>>34040906
i think my mum has just given up on me at this point, she doesn't even say anything anymore

>>34040084
slaving away lad, the days been ok so far been in a cheery mood which is a complete turn around from yesterday
looking forward to getting home i'm going to treat myself and finish off a piccy i've been drawing
how's your day been

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>>34040744
Birthday doubles as well. Aren't (You) a lucky boy? Have a good day m8

>>34040995
i have a job now and she understands i cant afford to move out alone in this economy so shes just happy i pay board and for my own food and things

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>>34040440
Someone has to keep the NEETs fed.

>>34040919
Tonight? ;-)

>>34041023
Its ok. You guys pay me in (You)s throught the work day.

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>>34041040
There there wagie, only 35 minutes to go before you can take the 2 hour commute home!

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so just got rejected from another laboratory job where the only requirements were to have 5 A-C gcses alongside some experience in a lab.

this first class chem degree from kcl has been pretty useless for the 6 months I've had it so far.

feel like i hit a new low since i thought it would be easy to get.

>>34041069
Jokes on you it's only 50 minutes

I think I'm about to fail uni for the second time. I want to die now God

>>34040996
Aww I'm really happy to hear you're feeling better today.

It's been bretty good, short day, lots of downtime and now I'm home playing vidya looking forward to seeing your drawing!

>>34041084
How far away do you live from work? Is traffic bad?

I had to go to the mental health people recently and a 2 mile journey took ages because of all the Pajeets on the road, back when I was in school 15 years ago you could be taken out during the day and the place would be deserted not a soul in sight.

>>34041016
what do you do for a living now? is it part-time, if you can't afford to move out?

>>34041016
>she understands i cant afford to move out alone in this economy
I wish my parents were this understanding

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHY ARE THERE NO JOBS FOR LAZY RETARDS LIKE ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34041263
becuase of thatcher

>>34041222
minimum wagecucking so even though i work 48 hour weeks i cant afford a flat round here unless i wanna flatshare with a bunch of 20 year old stacies i dont even know which i dont

>>34041263
Ignorant. Jobs these days require a checklist of social skills and love of teamwork, robots have no chance.

I can't even go outside of my parents property without panic attacks.

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How old should you ideally be to use OKC successfully?

I'm 20 but I think I'm too young for it, seems like it's a 30-something person's site

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>>34035431

>When you are 47 years old, you will never be able to ask your friendly local GP round for a quick euthanasia

>>34041311
use plenty of fish lad more people your age
you can also search before joining so have a look first

>>34041272
Trust me you don't, its arousing for about a week then you'll start to see how rotten girls really are these days.

>being loud
>tantrums
>slamming doors
>heating cranked all the way up with windows open
>electrical hazards around every corner
>constant babbling about phones and social media
>loud music into the night
>long showers that soak the bathroom
>leaving mess everywhere
>not knowing how the kitchen extraction fan works
>leaving lights and the TV on when nobody is in the room

The list is endless.

>>34041341
Cheers lad

The one thing that prevents me from using these apps is that I don't have facebook and hence no fucking pictures that I can put on to the profiles

I can take one selfie in the mirror but ideally I would have some 'avin a pint with the laaads

I have no friends though

>>34041338
Dr Shipman, I'm suffering from "chest pains". Could you come round and "help" me?

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>>34035803
Going to get a cheeky Indian tonight instead of a kebab.
>>34040084
Just woke up :^) must be the stress.

Cheeky kay to get me through the day!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eRza6jfYyY

and YEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXb3GGGhnzQ

>>34041344
girls are disgusting creatures, i'd say they were even worse than some neets

>>34041344
>leaving the TV on when no one is in the room
>turn off TV
>ANON I WAS WATCHING THE X FACTOR

>>34041377
if you get someone else to take the photo it gives the impression you have friends

best to have at least 3 by the way
and avoid the fake accounts obviously

>>34041218
Its only 30 minutes drive but I have to get the bus cause its too expensive to drive. Traffic varies a lot.

>>34041420
Most certainly they are, but because they have vaginas they are let off the hook or people just blindly ignore it.

>>34041432
>xfactor
Yes, women love that shit for some reason. Anything where they can watch people going through drama, the female cousins are obsessed with coronation street too and will throw tantrums if they can't watch it.

any you lads know a good british streamer who plays paradox games?

>>34041344
Everything you said is true. But there's more.

>as soon as they find out you're more than just using your PC/laptop/phone for Facebook you're suddenly the go to guy when they have any kind of issue.
>constant posturing from the guys they bring back even though you have no interest in them.
>the smell of the toilet when a woman pisses who is on her period, enough said.
>the expectation to do things for them or buy things for them just because they have a vagina and then the tantrums, name calling and shit stirring when you say no.

Fuck it's awful. I've experienced it first hand.

>>34041507
>the expectation to do things for them or buy things for them just because they have a vagina and then the tantrums, name calling and shit stirring when you say no.
is this true, do they expect male flatmates to provide for them?

>>34041344
you missed the most important one off the list
>period shits
holy fucking christ, i have never witnessed a smell as horrific as a womans poo when shes on her period. i lived with a stacey for a year and i cant even begin to explain the scent.. women truly are disgusting i honestly never looked at them the same way since

>>34040482
I'm giving them a bit of time, I don't want to piss them off and make them less likely to help me out and more likely to reject my case.

If they leave it too long or close the support ticket however, i'll go maximum autism on them and anything they hold dear.

I
WANT
MY
MONEY

>>34041542
I'm not convinced about this one either. You lying anon?

>tfw want to ride dick but you don't think you're gay

>>34041543
>tfw i will never be able to lock my self in the bathroom suffocating on the heavy scent of a womans period poo

why even live? sounds like heaven to me

>>34040744
Happy birthday, anon. I hope you have a good one and have some nice yummy food or something else that makes you feel good!

>>34041589
it's not gay unless you have feelings for the other person

>>34041542
Of course lad.

I lost count of how many times they just -
>wanted a lift somewhere
>wanting picking up at 3-4am from town because they spent up and couldn't afford a taxi
hint - I got a phone call almost every week
>wanted me to grab them a load of booze that they would "pay me back for"
only fell for that one once, never saw a penny
the list is endless. when you look back and see how much they expect it's insane. When you say no you get all the usual fall back insults that women go straight to, after the attempts to sweet talk you that is

>>34041648
Keep telling yourself that faggot.
Why are people so against them being gay.

>>34041657
>they
But you only lived with one!

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>working for half an hour
>only written two paragraphs

>>34040662
What's your uni lad?

>>34040744
Its the birthday boy!!!! get a takeaway m8.
>>34041589
Thats not gay lad, you just want to have some guy pound your prostate. If you dress as girl it cannot be gay anyway, so if you are worried do that.

>>34041678
I lived with 3 at the same time.

Plus one in a separate share.

>>34041675
it really isn't gay though unless you have sexual feelings for the other person

>>34041706
It's so embarrassing I don't even want to mention it on the internet. I'll just say it's bottom five.

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>>34040644
i would like to know more. did you show your face?

>>34041737
if you're riding a dick it's safe to say that you would be sexually attracted to the guy with the dick, or at the very least the dick itself, which is pretty gay anon

REDUCE the risk of people dawdling after paying at the supermarket checkout by leaning forward and gently smelling their hair.

>>34041657
>worry.wav
I might be moving into a house share thing with a guy and a girl and while I don't think she would ask of me because I know her already I'm worried she might try it on

got a fresh new Discord if any of you tossers fancy joining https://discord.gg/zD5vX

>>34041507
>the smell of the toilet when a woman pisses who is on her period, enough said.

IS THAT WHAT THAT SMELL IS?

I've been wondering for years

>>34041708
In what kind of world is taking a penis up your arsehole while dressed as a girl not gay?
If you want a dick up your ass you are fucking gay or bi. This is a neutral thing. It doesn't make you some kind of amazing unique person like /lgbt/ believes or some kind of subhuman like /pol/ believes.

Robots accept that you are faggots. This males no difference you won't make any friends or become a normie just because you would suck a dick.