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>Wake up early its 4pm >Dont smell tendies in the air.

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Thread replies: 313
Thread images: 112

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>Wake up early its 4pm
>Dont smell tendies in the air.
>I waddle to my door around the piss bottles.
>Start slamming my head into the wall and screaming TENDIES TENDIES I WANT TENDIES
>Slut bitch Mommy slowly opens the door to my lair
>With tears in her eyes she slides in my tendies and juice-box.
>I tell her iCarly is on later so she better prepare me the highest luxury goodboypoints can buy
>I make my way back to my bed exhausted from my journey across the room and back i rest
>my diaper seems almost full ill need a change before the big event later
>pondering what is going to happen in tonights episode i drift into slumber my little pony playing in the background
>I am awoken to mommy cleaning my piss jars up i tell her i need a diaper change aswell she nods with a look of disgust on her face
>Soon iCarly will be on the grand event
>The theme songs starts playing i scream at mommy to hurry or ill murder her and feed her to our dog buttersnout
>Mommy enters my room she is dressed in appropriate apperal plaid shorts converss sneekers and a hoodie her hair dyed the perfect shade of blonde.
>Now my Good boy favorite boy reward rivaled only by tendies and juice boxes begins
>I wait for a scene with sam in it my favorite iCarly character she is the best i then have mommy do her special service to me and pretend its sam
>i came five times tonight it was the best i finish by blowing on sams i mean mommy butt and tell that dirty slut to go make me SOME FUCKING TENDIES
>she starts walking away when a sight i never witnessed before appears before my eyes SAM IN A BIKINI JUST SHOWED ON AIR OMG
>With a speed of achilles i move like a lion and grab mommy before she makes it out of my lair
>I throw her on my computer desk and did adult things too her more then i ever thought i could
>when im finally finished mommy isnt moving
>iCarly is over i lay down and start watching adventure time
>covered in my special sauce mommy starts crying
>i tell her GO GET ME FUCKING TENDIES
>>
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Hey I liked this one. Particularly the usage of icarly and special sauce. You should write
>>
hobby.
a.
get.
>>
>>31016777
Gotta be honest, this gives me a throbbing boner.
>>
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>>31016777
Good fucking god, WHAT

How old are you?
>>
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>>31017841
>>31016777

This. OP move the fuck out. I feel so bad for your mom. Get to a fucking psychiatrist you manchild. How can you people live like this??
>>
>>31016777
>feed her to our dog buttersnout
sweet fuck
>>
>>31016777
>i tell her i need a diaper change aswell she nods with a look of disgust on her face
What kind of a shit-tier mommy is disgusted by her goodboy's natural functions?
>>
>>31017841
>taking the bait this easily
>>
>>31018389
>taking that bait that easily.
If that person's serious, hes beyond reddit tier. It's obvious b8
>>
>>31016777
this shit gets sillier and sillier
>>
>>31018470
Or is it you that has taken the bait
>>
>>31016777
>buttersnout
this is a good name
>>
>>31017841
>>31017881
Are you guys new or playing along?
>>
>>31019576
The fact you have to ask makes you new

Fuck off, tripfag
>>
>>31019549
>just got baited

kek
>>
>>31016777
Aww man that's an amazing tendies story anon. Brings back so many memories for me.
>>
>>31019613
>Fuck off, tripfag

Oh shit. I didn't fuck off like you told me to? What do you do now? :o
>>
>>31019704
>Brings back so many memories for me.

what the fuck??
>>
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>>31019715
What? you've never been in a similar tendie related scenario? Forgive me for asking but are you a normie?
>>
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>2016
>This is considered bait
>>
>>31019784
You're a sick man and you need professional help. You can't hide behind this smug toad
>>
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>>31019866
Your just jealous that I have so many GBP for tendies and I don't even need to get up from my computer to do poo poo or wee wee. Geez sometimes I feel sorry for you normies.
>>
>>31019866
>Being this new

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ERzPFCE7B0
>>
>>31019943
What the fuck is gbp? And you're saying you don't even use the toilet, this can't be real....
>>
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>>31020110
Fucking normies
I swear we need to purge newfags

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/tendies-stories
>>
>>31020110
Good boy points. Yeah I use bottles for piss and jugs for shit. Don't tell me you actually get up in the middle of watching MLP or browsing 4chan to go and use mommy's poo poo room. Normie detected.
>>
>>31020110
>being this new

I know people who came in june and they arent this clueless.
>>
>>31020331
I came in your mom in june ;)
>>
>>31017841
>>31017881
Greetings, Reddit!

bloxx
>>
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>>31016777
Anyone here own one of the bigger ones I'm thinking of getting one?
>>
>>31020518
>that picture

th-this is actually kind of disturbing
>>
>>31020181
>Fucking normies
>spoonfeeds
>>
>do a poo in my pants to day
>mommy has a friend over for din
>I sit in my poo pants in my room for a bit
> I am worried she take away some points for the poo
>but mommy friend is here so she won't steal points because she would look like bad mommy
>walk into room with mommy and her friend
>I POO POO IN MY PANTS MOMMY
>SHE quickly gets me out of room and tells me to get clean and gives me points to get clean
>she doesn't want her friend knowing she has a poopy boy for a son
>she go back to her friend
>HER friend say isn't your son 33 year?
>MOMMY quickly change the subject
>tfw I get points for do poopy in my pants
>>
>>31017110
This. There should be more tendies-related stories with incest involved
>>
These are so sad. I weep for your pathetic lives.
>>
>>31019804
thsi website has fallen so far man
>>
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>>31020722
I weep for your life normie. You will never know what it is like to participate in the GBP maketplace. GBP's have made me rich beyond my wildest dreams. I can have tendies for lunch dinner and breakfast. But alas, I will never convince you normie, you will continue being a wageslave and never embrace the comfy life. It's like the matrix really, some are just to far gone to be saved.
>>
>>31020967
You are so sad neetfuck

I don't even know how to reply to you. Stupid fuck.
>>
>>31016777
Checked. These are literally the only good threads on /r9k/ these days.
>>
>>31017110
Yeah. I'm looking for Sam in a bikini now. I haven't gapped in two weeks
>>
>>31021436
>be normal scum
>no gbp, no tendies, no blowey Joeys
>see a happy NEET getting all he ever wants, just by being a good boy and being nice to his mummy
>he has a net worth of 500,000,000 GBP and counting
>only throws poopoo tantrums when his mom is REALLY unfair
>somehow think this is pathetic
>post about how sad he is, unaware of the irony of the statement as I bend over to polish mr shekelstiens fat Tendie

Normalshits make me laugh
>>
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>>31020967
>It's like the matrix really, some are just to far gone to be saved
I wonder who are the "some" you're talking about.
>>
>>31020594
it's a good life :)
>>
>>31022783
mommy is still annoyed
I heard her do a cry in the bathroom but then she go have lots of adult grape juice with her friend hehe
>>
>>31023319
She's drinking her fucking problems away you retard. You're driving your mom to get drunk by being a useless manchild, my god wtf is the board even
>>
>>31023350
Dont yell at me I'm just a little bitty boy
>>
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>>31023350
Go away newfag

Originjvcfgb
>>
>>31017881
There are people on this board RIGHT NOW who think women should be allowed to post
>>
>>31023446
You're a grown man and you need to start acting like it. Meanwhile this board cries about "wahh no gf :(" when half of you retards have the diet of a 6 year old and refuse to use the fucking toilet, jesus christ
>>
>>31023485
You sound like daddy
At least mommy love me and gives me treaties
>>
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>mfw when mummy gives me GBP for making Pepes
>>
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>>31016777
>be me
>15
>first day of big boy school
>excited.mp3
>mummy makes tendies for me for breakfast
>i go to school
>sitting alone at lunch, eating my tendies
>normalfags look at me weird
>"He's so fat" "Why does he smell of shit?"
>one of them knocks my tendies out of my hand
>THIS_IS_MY_LAST_RESORT.zip
>fast forward to 6am next morning
>touch my pee pee to loli for the final time
>get up
>go into new daddy's special closet
>steal his guns
>put on my trenchcoat
>walk to school
>scream the loudest "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" i've ever REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'd
>go to the library
>find the normie that knocked the tendies out of my hand
>kill him
>mfw

That's what that Chad gets for fucking with my tendies
>>
>>31016777
6/10. While you did put effort in and the result is unique, the tonal shifts from you being a lazy fat man child to a incestuous pedo rapist just don't mesh well here.
>>
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>>31016858
Ayy I also screenshotted that post!!
>>
>do a poop hone in my pantaloons
>giggle a giggle for mommy as she cry in her bath
>scream for me to get out because she nakie
>get in bath with mommy get her to clean my bum bum
>she is crying as she clean me bum
>she clean all the poo poo real good
>touch her booby as I get out of bath and go to my room to do a cummie
>>
>>31023944
This is extremely disturbing.
>>
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>>31024054
What's happened? Is reddit down?
>>
>>31024054
I love mommy and she loves me why this is a bad?
>>
>>31024162
I feel so bad for that poor woman.
>>
>>31024162
Ohave and I just do a cummie and show mommy cause I had it on my hand :)

She lock the bathroom door on me now though
>>
>>31024229
I'm pretty sure this is sexual harassment.
>>
>>31020091
>not realising that he was playing along
>being this new
>>
>>31024247
No if it's mommy :) :)
>>
>>31020331
Did you come in June lwith them? because you are pretty clueless if you thought he was serious
>>
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>2am. Hungry
>Grab my bitch summoning stick. Bang it on the wall until Mommy arrives
>She takes ages to arrives. She's pregnant from some Chad who then dumped her
>Tell her I'm hungry and want to go to Burger King
>"No Anon, it's late. I have to work tomorrow
>Tell her it's no wonder Chad left after knocking her up and if she's not nicer to her Good Boy, he'll leave her too.
> Her eyes well up and she drives me to Burger King.
>I get a kid's meal and play with my toys for a while.
>Tell Mommy I want to be the Burger King and to get me a cardboard BK crown.
>She asks the manager but he says they're all out.
>I start screeching REEEEEEEE but Mommy says there's nothing she can do as there's no other Burger King's open at this hour.
>She drives me home. I sulk and watch Kung Fu Panda.
>I get an idea. I hide behind the couch and call Mommy into the room.
> When she arrives I kung fu chop her in the belly
>She rolls around on the ground, crying that she thinks I've hurt the baby.
>I pour my piss jug on her head and demand she apologises for not making me the Burger King and tell me I'm the best at Kung Fu.
>She keeps sobbing so I drag her into the cupboard and lock her in there until she learns her lesson.
Fucking normies.
>>
>>31016777
off i go to post this on /r/4chan
>>
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>>31024372
>posting on /r/4chan
>>
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>Be me, working on my minecraft peaceful world
>mummy comes in, hands up in submission
>"a-anon... It's time for your doctors appointment..."
>look her dead in the face
>"if you make me go to that jew Doctor I'm going to shit in your fucking bed."
>"now anon, if you behave... I'll give you a triple Tendie meal from anywhere you want."
>sold, but resolve to give her as hard a time as possible to punish her for not just GIVING me the triple tendies for being her perfect little baby boy
>get in the car
>"oh boy mommy, I really do need to go to the docy docs! I am feeling so... Sick!"
>shit my big boy pants
>she screams at me to get out of the car so she can clean it, say no, docy docs now!
>she reluctantly drives me over, go inside office and wipe my shit on the Windows
>she apologizes, pays for the damages and we wait for the doctor
>mommys shoe starts to dangle off her heel
>start jerking off
>mommy sees me and desperately whispers at me to stop before someone notices
>moan as loud as I can
>she's in tears now
>look her in the eye
>"Touch my cock, whore." I say loud enough for the whole room to hear
>she sobs loudly and shakes her head no
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees and gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me in, immediately call him a kike
>spend whole checkup farting, pissing, and belching strategically to ruin the doctors day
>checkup finally ends, mom is still sobbing
>"triple Tendie time now mummy!"
>lets out a louder sob and rushes to the car, me in pursuit
>"wh-where do you want tendies from, anon?"
>tell her I want wendies tendies
>she takes me to wendies, and we discover, to her horror, that they only have nuggets now.
>REEEEE at her while shitting and pissing myself
>she rushes me home and leaves me there, saying she'll be back soon with as many tendies as I can eat
>comes home 20 minutes later with 7 orders of Popeyes tendies
>smile and thank her
>she sighs with relief and decides to take a nap after her ordeal
>Left her a surprise in bed
>>
Do anyone else bottle farts for mommy?
>>
>mommy finally snaps
>barges into my room at 3 am while I'm doing a poop in my undies
>turns out mommy did a poo poo in her jammy jams
>she is screaming gibberish and asking for me to cook her tendies
>she says she wants me to change her jammies
>get a huge erection and throw her down on my bed to do a sex to her
>no poo poo in her panties
>become enraged at her lies
>do a cummie on her bummy
>mommy looks very dejected

She tried to trick me but I won
>>
>>31016777
God damnit what is wrong with you people?

Why hasn't anyone posted this on Facebook?
>>
>>31024772
>Facebook

Fuck off normalfag
>>
>>31023599
"wtf lol'd" at this pic
>>
>>31024790
I mean like repost it with a title ''Mental Disease Boy (SAD STORY REAL!!!) dis break my heart, like if you pray for kid 1like one prayer''
>>
>>31024675
What the fuck this is turning me on
>>
>>31024416
this is gold KEK
the perfect smug pepe face
the perfect ratio of erotica and yuckies
the build up to the subtle well deserved ending for that bitch mommy
you have a neck for writing anon
>>
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>>31024416
>"Touch my cock, whore."
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees and gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me in, immediately call him a kike
Thank you for this literary masterpiece anon, you are one of the good ones
>>
>>31025045
Me too. I have a huge bone right now.
>>
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>39 year old NEET
>wake up 3 pm
>Roll over to the edge of the bed
>hit something
>forgot about full shit jug from last night
>rolls off bed, shatters on the floor
>shrug
>"MUMMY MUMMY MESSY MESSY POOPOO POOPOO!"
>mummy's up in 3 seconds flat; cunt knows not to fuck around after the poopoo spatula incident
>mummy opens the door
>"oh dear, did my sweetpea make a messy messy? My poor baby"
>bitch starts cleaning it up
>suddenly feel tummy growling
>realize mummy never brought tendies up for breakfast like I told her to
>that stupid bitch I swear
> "MUMMY MUMMY WHERE ARE THE TENDIES "
>"hold on sweetpea I can't do two things at once "
>"TENDIES NOW TENDIES NOW!!" I chant as i become full with rage. Why can't the cunt just do what I say?
>fuck this shit. This is the last straw
>run over
>pick up one of the glass shards covered in shit
>ram it up mummy's butthole as hard as I can as she's bent over cleaning
>bitch falls over in my poop wallowing in pain
>pick up another shard
>"No, please sweetpea! I'm sorry!" She begins to sob
>"I'll make tendies anytime you want! Just don't..."
>bitch learned from yesterday
>drop shard
>her shit smeared face washes over in relief
>walk over
>piss on her face for good measure

fucking normies
>>
>>31017881
>what is satire

ravioliginal
>>
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>>31016777
>wake up early
>scent of tendies is in the air
>let out my mighty roar to tell mommy ive awakened
>she cautiously steps into my room
>"y-yes anon?"
>tell her to deliver my tendies
>she says that they are still cooking
>unacceptable
>RRREEEEEEEEEEE I NEED MY TENDIES BY 5 O'CLOCK GET THEM NOW
>"b-but they're not done yet.."
>tell her to get my fucking tendies now
>she runs to the kitchen and starts crying
>shes not getting away with this
>use all my might to get out of bed and grab a poopoo bottle
>enter the kitchen and throw the poopoo bottle at, her sending her to the ground
>beat her with the bottle while screaming "GET ME TENDIES, TENDIES NOW! YOU FAT UNGRATEFUL SLUGGISH COW!"
>have to get the fucking tendies from the oven myself and look through the fridge to find my honey mustard dipping sauce
>go back to the basement to eat my tendies and watch anime
>>
>>31025908
This board is beyond saving. Pathetic manchild
>>
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>>31025945
PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE RUINING THIS BOARD YOU FUCKING NORMIE RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>31025498
You need to get that bitch on a leash, you give an inch and they'll take a mile
>>
>>31026052
>wahh :( you can't be a robot unless you fling poo poo

Some of us a functional robots like sheldon from TBBT you retard
>>
>>31026081
>watches big bang theory
Gtfo you normie faggot. This thread is FULL OF normies
>>
>>31026081
>sheldon from TBBT
You've crossed the fucking line. Get out normie. NOW.
>>
>>31026081
>sheldon from tbbt
>tbbt
>the big bang theory
>SHELDON
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>31026081
>TBBT
GET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!!!!
>>
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>>31026242
>>31026254

>getting baited this fucking hard
>>
>>31016777
>>31016777
you are living meme .
>>
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>>31026081
Low quality bait matey.
>>
>>31026329
nigga how broken is your english
>>
>>31016777
I can never decide if this shit or fluffy pony abuse wins the "most autistic thing 4chan has ever come up with" award.
>>
>>31020518
I use two liter soda bottles. They hold a lot more.
>>
>>31026455
wow that gif is old as fuck
>>
>>31026052
>I NEED MORE TENDIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fixed.
>>
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>5 AM
>Browsing YLYL threads on /b/
>Laugh so hard I shit myself
>Whoops, special baby needs a new diapy
>"MAAAAAMAAAAAA"
>Hear frantic footsteps running down the hall
>Mama opens the door winded. She can't forget what happened last time.
>"Baby boy made a messy messy"
>Lay down on the bed with feet up in the air
>She's changing my diapy
>Wait. What's that feeling?
>Instead wet wipes she's using fucking TOILET PAPER
>Kick her in the face
>"YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT IS THIS SANDPAPER SHIT? IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SPECIAL BABY? DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?!"
>By this point she's shrunken in fear
>"I-I'm sorry anon b-but I forgot to get the w-wet wipes when I was out getting your t-tendies"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Go on a full blown rampage
>Roll down the hall spewing rancid diarrhea
>Knock over Grammas ashes
>Knock over the wine rack
>Roll onto Mama and crack her femur
>"TENDIES TENDIES TENDIES AND WIPEY WIPES NOW!"
>Limps to the car
>Peels out to go to the store
>Go back to browsing the 'Chon
>15 minutes later she's back with the wet wipes and 4 boxes of tendies
>The nearest store is 25 minutes away
>"A-anon I have the wipeys you wanted"
>"TENDIES NOW REEEEE!"
>Makes me 2 whole trays of tendies
>Gives me wipey wipes and makes me a special bubble bath
She hasn't looked at me in the eyes since. That's what she gets for neglect
>>
>>31027826
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside
>>
>>31025945
He dosen't actually do this, fucking normie. Its one of this boards perfect memes
>>
>>31028148
>He dosen't actually do this

;)
>>
>>31026081
So many fucking normies. They don't actually do this its a joke, a very funny joke
>>
>>31028173
sorry the only way to get it though to fucking normies thick skull was to stop playing along
>>
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>>31027647
Kek. Moar tendie stories!
>>
>>31028586
I agree

Originadodandolololololo
>>
>>31028586
>>31028759

>glorifying these demented manchildren
>>
>>31028793
i've said it twice now.
GTFO NORMIE FUCKING SCUM. DRINK MY SHIT JUGS CUNT
>>
>>31028816
I mean really, the fact that you HAVE shit jugs is a major red flag in and of itself. How do you really blame someone for calling attention to the fact of how messed up this whole situation is??
>>
>>31024416
Jesus man, how much shit do you have?
>>
on this weeks episode of neckbeard fantasies .
>>
>>31025908
I appreciate how you can rhyme in perfect meter even in the midst of your righteous anger.

That bitch mommy doesn't deserve you.
>>
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>am now filthy NEET, its almost normie tier
>filthy whore mother informed me NEETBUX can be exchanged for GBP
>I do like GBP
>have her leave work to pick me up
>roll me to car to take me to NEETBUX vendor
>disgusting nazi at bum office asks if ive looked for a job yet
>fucking normie shmuck dares speak to me?
>start breathing in through my teeth and blowing out my nose
>snot starts running down
>starts getting sucked into my mouth
>wait till mouth is filled
>grab wagecuck social benefit bureaucrat by his ugly tie and and scream PUSSY spitting my snot all over his face
>stand up flipping the desk with my belly
>guess mother dearest was tired as 5 security guards carried me to the car

>mfw I dont have to go to bum office anymore
>NEETBUX4LIFE
>>
>>31029071
I agree! He should let one of us be his mommy.

I would love to be the boi mommy of such a perfect precious tendie-loving baby boy.

I'll give him all the dippy sauce and blowey-joeys he needs. ;)
>>
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>be me 37yr old newfag
>get up at the ass crack of noon and smell the golden tenndie's cooking
>just the smell has my throbing 3inch chub about to spew all over my voltron sheets
>grab my filthy cum encrusted sock from under my racecar bed
>nut with the force of a thousand death stars as I stare into glory of all my MLP posters on the walls
>wondering ware my fucking food is mommy should have this shit on point after all these years
>MOMMY YOU LAZY CUNT!!...hear frantic steps rushing up the hall to my room
>door flys open and she has the look on her face *fear*
>fling shit jar at her for not bringing the nummys with her
>the shit it in her hair her teeth and I could smell it from bed GLORY TO BIG BOY! I keep canting
>5 min pass she is back with a shivering smile and my big boy tendies
>*have nut sock under blankie* she leans in and I jam that fucker down her neck
>laughing as she heaves and pukes all over the floor I have a new game I wana play
>I roll off my bed take down my superman undies and roar SEA WORLD SEA WORLD!!!!
>flapping around on the floor like a sea lion shiting myself
>mommy crying a lot more then before not like when daddy left us
>now clean big boy up so he can go out and play MFW she just keeps sobbing
>grab her shirt and rip it off babby wants to see boobies she recoils back in horror
>get insta hard she is shivering balled up whispering to her gods praying for a quick death
>I jerk off like a spider monkey on pcp letting lose a nut that rivaled the gods in volume
>mommy crawls off to get her cleaning robes ..whew all this and I still have tendies to eat
>shit smeared tenides are still tendies
>>
>>31017841
>>31017881
This newfaggotry really does make me want to hit someone
>>
>>31017841
>>31017881
>>31020110
>>31023350
>>31024054
>>31024148
>>31024209
>>31024247
>>31026081
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fhhFs9lMbP
>>
>>31026525
I use these 5 gallon water cooler jugs, my dad gets them at Walmart.

When they get full I flush them down the toilet on a convenient day. After about two or three months I put the empty jugs out for recycling and grab new ones.

I tried using a ghetto funnel and plastic tubing I nailed to the bottom of my desk, but that created accidents and started to smell like piss after about a week or so. I obviously can't be assed to clean it if I can't be assed to walk 20 feet to a washroom, so I just use both hands to lift the jug and put my dick in the hole now.
>>
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>Wanting tendies

How un-American of you all.
>>
I've already read these stories, MAKE SOME ORIGINAL NEW ONES YOU FUCkS

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>31016777
I like thr ones that end in sex/rape
Moar pls
>>
These are so fucking good.
>>
>>31030279
why not just move your desk into the bathroom?
>>
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>be watching nemo in my room while my mom makes diner
>yummy yummy i hope the diner will please my tummy
>i go downstairs to check on mummy in the kitchen to see if she's not calling a psychiatrist or anything naughty like that
>she's not. she's making diner like the good mummy she is
>i walk on all fours towards the dish to see what sweet yummy food she made for her good boy
>it's braised vegetables
>braised fucking vegetables
>I rise and look down at my mom from my 6'5" height
>i start to chant
>MUMMY MUMMY YOUVE BEEN NAUGHTY LITTLE LADDIE HAVE TO PUNISH YOU MUMMY
>she quietly starts sobbing, knowing exactly what will ensue
>i pin her down to the floor with all my 360 lbs might, an exquisite wonder starts to form in my undies, like a rare bird
>i take the magical present and shove it right in her eyes
>immediately she starts vomiting
>PLEASE ANON PLEASE STOP NO
>Another flow of brown mystery finds its way in her mouth
>sshhhhh mummy you know i do this for your own good
>eventually she stops fighting back, she just lays there motionless
>i wake up and take out frozen tendies from the freezer
>since i don't know how to use the microwave, i eat them raw
>while i'm concentrated on something else, mummy wakes up and runs upstairs, screaming like dementia
>i know she is sad, but i have to be firm if i want to teach her how to be a good mummy
>today was a good day
>>
>>31025081
>you have a neck for writing anon
>>neck
>>
>>31019866
FROG*


ADDHJLLL
>>
>>31021436
>being this new

Stupid fuck
>>
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>Up in the wee hours of Thursday morning
>been masturbating to Sailor Moon Crystal
>finish up and get the munchies
>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPRF1gXh5VY
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
>Double 50 piece with extra dipping sauce plus an M&M McFlurry to wash it down with
>Furiously gobble the entire thing in four minutes
>Crash for 12-hours
>Wake up just intime to see mum home from work
>She's exhausted as hell but brought me the same order without asking just to make sure I don't wake her again
>I do anyway

Kek fucking normalfags
>>
this generation is fucked
>>
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a suit
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie to make me stop yelling

Good day today.
>>
>>31030679
>>31030869
>>31030933

Fucking beautiful stories. Don't know why I love reading these so much. I miss when these posts were frequent.
>>
>be me 31 year old fatass NEET
>11pm
>watching a Tyson Tendie Commercial on repeat
>rumbly tummy says it's time for another batch
>waddle through my room
>trip on a poop jug from last night
>spend 10 minutes farting and struggling getting to my feet
>thought for sure I told mummy to clean my room today
>make it out of the room and down the stairs
>mummy's cleaning the kitchen
>"mummy mummy your boy is hungry! Where are my tendies?"
>"Anon, you ate the last box. And no, it's too late to go out now. I have work very early."
>A flicker of rage sparks up inside me
>"then how will your good boy eat tendies tonight?"
>"I don't know. It's not my problem. You're 31 for Christ's sake"
>what's that? not her problem. Fucking kek
>"you brought me into this world you stupid bitch. Now TAKE CARE OF ME! Before I shove a poop jug up your cunt you fucking whore."
>she raises her arms in surrender.
>"fine" she sighs.
>watch her leave
>15 minutes later she's finally back
>she brings in great value brand tendies
>great value
>FUCKING GREAT VALUE
>don't even say anything
>hobble to my room farting frantically
>grab biggest poop jug I can find
>back in the kitchen she has her back to me finishing up dishes
>kick her as hard as I can knocking her off her feet
>plop down all 300 pounds on her chest
>feel her ribs crack as I unscrew my shit jug
>"ANON! ANON NO!!! PLEASE!!!" She gasps out, her eyes full of terror. She knows what's coming
>arms and legs flailing all around but I'm too heavy
>slowly pour god knows how old tendie diarrhea on her face
>overflows over her mouth
>watch her cough and gargle on my own shit
>see the life begin to drain from her eyes
>use all my might and stand up
>she rolls over gasping and grabbing her chest
>Take out peepee
>piss in her hair
>"Tyson next time bitch"
>>
>>31017841

The ones saying "THIS IS BAIT" are the newfags that are getting baited
>>
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>Tell mommy to make me triple-tendie din dins since I have so many good boy points
>She tells me we're out of Tyson brand tendies
>Unacceptable
>REEEEEEEEEEE MUMY MUMMY I TOLD YOU YO BUY MORE TENDIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"Okay Anon, I'm s-sorry"
>"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME MUMMY REEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Start flailing around, banging my head on the wall and kicking my legs around
>Stop when she says we can go to Mcdonald's
>Waddle in the store, drooling
>Ask for 5 Chicken sandwhiches and 5 SUPER SIZE fries and a Large Coke and a Good Boy sized McFlurry with extra toppings
>Wagie says "We stopped selling super size freedom fries after 9/11"
>Start screaming and farting
>Manager tells mommy that we have to leave
>Start screaming even louder and throwing other peoples food everywhere
>Hop on one of the tables and take a massive poopie
>Walk out laughing like my hero Tidus from Final Fantasy X
>Mommie is kneeling on the sidewalk, crying asking how it could get this bad
>>
>>31031576
Literally what?? I refuse to believe this actually fucking happened
>>
>>31031614
It's true, Morgan Spurlock got McDonalds to stop offering the super-size option.
>>
>>31031720
I'm talking about that manchild taking a fucking shit on the table
>>
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>be a little NEET mommasboi

>wake up to another sing-songy sunshiney funday

>have a hankering for some tendies somethin' fierce!

>get out of my racecar bed and I have roll down the stairs because of my muscular-skeletal development issues

>use the various holes I punched into the wall from prior "incidents" as grips as I bounce down the stairs

>mumsy wumsy on the couch, her skin is white and cold

>i scream in her face to wake her up like I usually do

>she doesn't answer, how rude! But I notice a tiny orange tube

>that silly billy must have had a sugar crash from all of that white candy! Daddy tried to give me some before he mummy made him leave, and he was so generous, he told me I could eat an entire tube of it!

>oh well, a Good Boy's work is never done!

>decide to go out into the world

>saddle up on my Little Mermaid (best waifu obvs) bicycle with a TMNT helmet, unstrapped to impress the females of course

>makinmywaydowntown.tndi

>weave in and out of a crowd of people on the sidewalk, they're getting angry, as if they expect me to ride on the street! But I just ignore them and I merrily hum the Bear in the Big Blue House

>but I slip on a large crack (hahaha) and I fall, helmet rolling away

>i'm lying on the sweltering pavement, it must be at least 63 degrees! It hurts so much that I begin flailing my curvaceous body around and screaming for tendies, but also for help

>I soil my pants and curl up on the sidewalk, sleeping peacefully

>I wake up in a padded room, a man in a white coat is asking me questions I don't care about, but I get free tendies whenever I want! He didn't even take my phone I hid in my undies away

Here I am eating with only my mouth like a king and nice and comfy in my blanket cocoon shirt

MFW
>>
>>31016777
Thanks OP, boner activated.
>>
>>31032292
>getting turned on by this

what in the actual fuck
>>
>>31024416
This isn't original faggot
>>31025081
He fucking stole it
>>
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>>31032318

Femanon here. I'm getting turned on by these stories too....


POST MORE ORIG STORIES!!
>>
>>31016777
Why the fuck do I ever come and view things here?
How is this considered culturally entertaining?
What does it say about us that we find producing tendies memes entertaining? Are we better than the tendiesmemers meme? Sitting on the tendiesmeme board cackling at the meme. The rarest pepe can't describe the existential crisis I feel watching my life waste away while viewing this.
Damn you OP give it back
>>
>>31030869
you stole this from me you fucking faggot
most of these are just copy pasted from the last thread with just one fucking change
>>
>>31031576
You stole this too you fucking unoriginal faggot
>>
>>31032457
>Femanon here. I'm getting turned on by these stories too....

What the hell is wrong with you femanon??
>>
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>playing CoD3
>belly rumbles
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"Anon, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through the flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"ANON SMASH!"
>just like my hero, saitama, knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on the 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello anon how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"ANON NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"ANON ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO
>expect tendies when mum wakes up
>>
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>>31016777
i-i didnt expect this tendie story to be so arousing
>>
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I came from these stories.... The ones with rape are the best.

/TendieErotica/ can we make this a thing
>>
>>31032678
>>31032691

How can you guys get turned on by this?????????? What the hell
>>
>>31032721
I want to be a qt mommy(male) who gets raped and abused by "her" sexy smelly dirty son. Is that so hard to understand?
>>
>>31032691
Did you cum to the one with the lady talking to the mum and the anon thinks the lady is his new girlie-friendie?
>>
and i want to have a qt mommy (female) to rape to ICarly re-runs
>>
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>>31016777
Jesus christ, I knew 4hcan was scary but I wasn't expecting this... What the fuck is wrong with you OP? You actually act like this? Piss bottles? You are absolutely disgusting, go turn yourself into a mental hospital or something. Your poor mother. You literally raped your mother, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're a manchild and you need to die or go to prison. And what the fuck are "tendies?" Sick fuck, get help, seriously...
>>
>>31032806
So much fucking this.

The way you people act disturbs me
>>
>>31032806
Mommys don't have real rights. They exist to take care of her special little boy's needs. Also tendies are fried strips of chicken meat. They are very yummy for my tummy.
>>
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>>31032457
Need those tendies
>>
>>31032887
--"mommys dont have real rights"\
WTF is wrong with you? shes your mother for christs sake, and you treat her this way? I can only hope to god that ur trolling and u dont actually treat your poor mother this way...

" her special little boy"

You sound like a man child...
>>
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>>31032806
>4hcan
fucking
>>
>>31032957
I am not a manchild. I am a potential mommy(male) who knows "her" place. I never treated my mommy this way, but my brother did and he treated me that way to. I grew to like it and strive to be just like my mommy.
>>
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>>31032957
welcome to 4chan newfag

originalnaya
>>
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>wake up at 3:AM for early morning posting and thunder cat re-runs
>accidentally shit my pokemon jammies as i lift my beautiful 300 pound bulk out of bed
>oopsies
>screech and kick the walls for mommy to come
>takes her longer than usual
>she peaks her head through the door looking more distraught than usual, she gags as the stench hits her nostrils
>"what is it Anon"
>I MADE A STINKY, CHANGE ME MOMMY CHANGE ME
>she reluctantly walks over, eyes now welling from the stench and situation
>she hands me a diaper
>this bitch expects me to change myself
>remind her what her role is as a mom
>teehee, no mommy! you have to change me!
>"Anon, please your almost 30 an-"
>punch her in the stomach to teach her a lesson
>she finally vomits and darts out the room, bumping into me as she leaves
>OWEE! YOU HURT YOUR LITTLE BOY!
>chase her down the hall at full speed, gradually getting closer
>she makes it to her room and slams the door behind her
>i smash into it full force, breaking off two of the hinges
>i get back up and pound on the door with all my might screaming YOUR A BAD MOMMY YOUR A BAD MOMMY!
>i can hear faint sobs coming from the other side of the door
>pass out from too much exercise
>wake up in bed, tucked in, theres a note on top of a plate of tendies next to me
>read it
>Dear Anon, i'm sorry for being such a bad mommy, hopefully i can make up for what i did with this fresh plate of tendies, you'll always be my special little boy. Love: Mom
>mfw mommy loves me
>>
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>>31032457
>femanon
>mfw they don't exist
>>
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>After a successful sleep at 5 AM I wake up around 3PM and notice something is wrong
>My room smells of piss, the air is stale and there's large cum-stains on my shirt
>But something's wrong
>I HUNGER FOR DELICIOUS, THICC, GOLDEN WENDY'S TENDIES
>I sound my battle-cry, my throat slightly sore and nacho-cheese encrusted from all the mountain dew & doritos
>MUMMY, MUMMY, I DESIRE TO RENEW MY GOOD BOY POINTS, ON ACCOUNT OF MY AWFULLY SORE JOINTS, AND SO, AT THIS HOUR I REQUIRE TENDIES AND ONLY THE ONES, MY FAVORITES FROM WENDY'S!!!
>"Anon why the FUCK can't you talk normally"
>Is this bitch trying to talk back? That simply won't do
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I proclaim, while flailing my arms and farting
>"Okay, fine, FUCK, We'll go to fucking Wendy's, for fuck's sake!"
>After an unbearably long ten minute drive, we get there
>Mummy gives me a big boy ice cream shake so I don't start screaming
>I'm lactose intolerant

I win again, normies.
>>
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>>31033022
>>31033001
>>31032887

>once upon a time there was a newfag. he was a complete fucking idiot and was unable to determine even the most obvious trolls
>>
This is the work of someone who is severely mentally ill and out of touch with the real world
>>
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>>31033146
i'm aware that he is a troll.
i just can't stand fucking misspellings, regardless of current status.
>>
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>>31016777
Checked your trips, im going to shit.
>>
>>31033146
I know, you stupid idiot. I was trolling back by pretending to be so easily trolled.
>>
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>>31033142
>I proclaim, while flailing my arms and farting

i wasn't ready for that
>>
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>>31031576
>We stopped selling freedom fries after 9/11
>Like my hero Tidus from final fantasy X

Holy fuck.
Where did my sides go?
Someone help me.
>>
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>>31033240
You just got trolled son
>>
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>>31019576
>>31020458
>>31019576
>>31030169
Rused


lmnop
>>
>>31033365
Nope, me revealing my plan was just a small step in my master ruse cruise and you are falling perfectly inline with it.
>>
>>31020181
>falling for the meta bait
you must be new here
>>
These threads make me want to hug my mom and tell her I love her.
>>
>>31033888
Fuck you beta
>>
fuck it's nearly 6am and i just read this entire thread what the fuck am i doing with my life
>>
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>>31019576
>>31019710
>Maverick

Jesus Christ man... You're like a real life unironic pepe
>>
>>31016777

This kind of shit got stale in 2014.
>>
>>31033906
I love you too.

Orange.
>>
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>be my last birthday
>finally the big 3-0
>mummy automatically gives me 10 extra good boy points because it's my birthday
>i wake up and instantly release my bowels in my crib because it's my birthday
>mummy comes in and asks me what i've done
>"poo poo mummy, now come the pee pee"
>pull down diaper and piss all over mummy
>"Anon! What on Ear-"
>"POO PEE POO PEE MUMMY I'M 30"
>"y-yes a-anon hahaha i guess you are"
>"you look sad mummy! What's wrong!?"
>"n-nothing son"
>"mummy i want my cake! I WANT CAKE!"
>mummy brings me my tendy crisp crunch cake
>"mhh yum yum tendy cake! tendy cake!"
>after cake i want my actual tendies, i call for mummy
>"mummy deliver me the tender chicky tendies!"
>"sorry anon, i had to use them all for the tendy cake!"
>"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>instantly force the whole undigested tendy cake out of my anus and hurl it at her face then piss myself as a defense mechanism
>"you ruin everything, whore!"
>she starts to cry
>SHE's the one crying after ruining my birthday
>>
>>31033959
chicken tender cake? Is this an actual thing?
>>
>>31033959
>piss myself as a defense mechanism
>>
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>be me
>wake up in a cold sweat wheezing
>hungry.wav
>waddle over to kitchen
>exhausted from the walk and lay on kitchen floor like an overturned giant slug
>open the freezer
>no tendies
>almost suffer cardiac arrest
>feel a festering "REEEE" in the back of my throat
>this_ends_now.jpg
>waddle as fast as I can towards the slut bitch cunt's room
>watch over her
>she looks exhausted from working her two jobs
>"Mommy?"
>no response
>oh_no_boy-o.png
>"MOOOOM!"
>Mommy wakes up with a gasp
>looks at me and starts crying
>"Oh, anon, no... I- I forg--"
>get unto the bed on top of her
>hear her groan under weight and hear something pop
>"No nuggies so I make Mommy into huggies"
>"Sweetie, I--"
>"NO NUGGIES SO I MAKE MOMMY INTO HUGGIES!!!"
>with speeds that are unfathomable I pull down my pants and put her face right into my butt
>haven't taken a poopie in weeks
>let_it_go.gif
>as horrible juicy farts are released from my cave, an explosion of chunky diarrhea explodes into my Mom's face
>as thunderous farts and blobs of poopie explode, I roar and tremble in orgasmic pleasure, my saggy tits jiggling in unison to my quicering jowls
>"GOD HAS LEFT US MOMMY!!!!"
>hear my Mommy gagging and sobbing
>sleep on top of mommy because ordeal made me sleepy
>wake up next morning
>Mommy gone
>waddle over to fridge
>Tyson nuggies on shelf

Give me one good reason NEET life isn't worth it
>>
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>be 27 y.o.
>wakey time at noon, early start today so I can get my bonus 5 good boy points
>Mommy comes into bedroom with the cutest widdle bruises all over her face from my tantrum last night
>Looks worried
>Looks like she hasn't slept in days
>But it's all alright, she does it for the bestest son in the world
>Mommy has breakfast on a platter, it's chicken tendies and habanero sauce
>I only eat McDonald's habanero sauce
>I take a widdle bite of my tendies dipped in the sauce
>it's not habanero
>eyes dilate
>jaw dislocates
>open mouth
>scream "BITCH WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SAUCE?"
>Mommy looks scaredy waredy
>Her lip shakes a bit
>Starts to cry
>"It's discontinued anon, McDonald's doesn't have it anymore"
>"YOU BETTER GET IT RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA GET UPSET!"
>Mommy just stands there crying
>I start shitting and pissing myself
>"MOMMY! POOPOO! PEEPEE! PLOPPIES! SWIRLIES!"
>Mommy just stands there crying
>"WELL BITCH GET A MOVE ON!"
>Mommy stops crying, looks at me with a scary look
>Walks out of the room
>Walks back into the room with a big scary tube that makes a loud noise that hurt my ears
>Woke up in white room with doctors all around and my chicken tendies across the room
>tfw too fat to get out of hospital bed to get tendies
>cry
>post my story on /r9k/
>>
>>31016777
Nice trips. ICarly hasn't been on tv in years.
>>
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>be me
>wake up at 4:20 PM
>get on Xbox Live
>doing really good
>yell at some kids really loudly
>have to take a enormous poo poo
>i waddle my 400 pound good boy body to the bathroom
>get poo poo behind the toilet somehow
>whatever mummy will clean it up
>go back scream at kids some more
>mummy comes in the room
>A-a-anon... Could y--you lower your v-voice...?
>WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME MUMMY
>WHO DO YOU THINK I AM
>you're m-my good boy A-anon...
>thats what I thought you whore
>she goes to the bathroom, witnesses poo poo all over the place
>she cleans it will sobbing
>hear mummy call someone
>hear car drive up
>mummy comes in room with an unfamiliar man
>A-anon this is doctor Goldstein
>WHO ARE YOU, WHY DID YOU ENTER THE DANGER ZONE
>at the time I called my basement the danger zone because of mummy being hit all the time here
>doctor goldstein says I need major help
>Anon you're 38 why are you doing this?
>DON'T CALL ME ANON I DON'T KNOW YOU JEW
>call me a good boy
>No Anon, you need help
>SHUT UP FAGGOT!
>pick up my naked 400 pound self
>sit on him
>easily break one of his bones
>stick me pee pee in his mouth
>pee in it
>ITS NOT OVER YET JEW
>i position myself for what i call the destroyer
>i poo pooed all over him and made him eat it
>mummy tries to escape
>waddle over there
>NO YOU DON'T BITCH
>knock her down, sit on her legs so she can't break out
>WHOS A GOOD BOY?
>YOU ARE ANON! LET ME GO
>ONLY IF YOU MAKE ME CHICKEN TENDIES, AND CALL ME GOOD BOY FOR NOW ON
>YES, YES ANON!
>she makes me tendies everytime i scream it now
>im the only good boy she'll ever need
>she doesnt need a boyfriend
>tfw maximum tendies for life
>>
>>31032603
This is probably the most disturbing one.
>>
>>31017881
I have been emotionally scarred
>>
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>11pm, i'm in bed
>wake up with a hunger for tendies
>sneak downstairs even though it's past my bedtime
>see mummy and new daddy watching something on Cinemax
>be extra sneaky as i go past to the kitchen
>pull big box of tendies from freezer
>ham-handedly drop it and it makes a loud *THUNK*
>mummy hears it and thinks I'm a burglar
>new daddy rushes out of the room to investigate
>he runs into the kitchen and i shit and piss everywhere in fear
>he gets angry and starts yelling at mummy
>'why the fuck do we have to live with this fucking autistic creep! he's an adult for fuck's sake!'
>things get heated and he hits mummy
>big mistake
>pick up a fistfull of the shit and throw it in new daddy's face
>quickly jump on him, throw him to the ground, then sit on his face with my ample 340lb frame
>sit there for a while, new daddy stops moving
>command mummy to make me tendies
>she does
>now new daddy needs a special chair he controls with his mouth to get around
>he grimaces every time i walk past
>mummy makes me tendies every day, no quibbles
>>
>>31024772
>>31024849
>>31024372
>>31024247
>>31024209
>>31024054
>>31023485

FUCKING NORMIES I CAN'T STAND NORMIES GET OUT NORMIES! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>go to shitty arcade with family
>sister and little brother are there
>see some shooting game where you sit in a booth
>little brother doesn't want to play
>plays Flappy Bird arcade instead
>why.mp3
>sister and I get in the booth
>she sits on my lap
>i'm intrigued
>she starts grinding on my dick
>OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.flp
>she's wearing yoga pants
>i can feel it all
>take my dick out
>she grabs it hard and I splooge everywhere
>tells me she wants to fuck me
>get home, about to fuck my little sister
>get into my bed, nice and cozy
>wait a bit, no sister, just a familiar smell
>smells like home
>realize i've fallen asleep
>wake up
>i panic but i realize i'm safe and secure
>my shitjugs surround me, like guards watching a beautiful prince sleep
>my fedora waits for me, like my crown, waiting to sit a top my greasing locks
>my gaming chair is still stained with my cum, ready for me to sit my un-wiped ass on it
>there's that smell again, so cozy, so familiar, what is it?
>the smell is shit leaking out of my diapee
>no one to change it
>mummy is with new daddy
>FURIOUS
>WAKE UP TO NO FUCKING TENDIES
>NORMIE MUM SPENDING TIME WITH NEW DADDY!
>LAST FUCKING TIME I GO WITHOUT SLEEP UNTIL I GET MY FUCKING TENDIES AND GBP!
>GO UPSTAIRS, KILL CHADDY, MAKE MUMMY MAKE MY FUCKING TENDIES
>SAVAGELY RAPE HER WHILE SHE FEEDS THEM TO ME!
>"NO ANON, NO MORE!"
>"TELL ME MY DICK IS BIG MUMMY. TELL ME! I WILL GO BATTY!"
>SHE DOESN'T RESPOND!
>UNACCEPTABLE!
>I FUCKING THROW HER IN THE OVEN!
>MAKE HER INTO A CHICKEN TENDIEE
>"NO MORE GBP! NO MORE GBP!"
>I SLOWLY RAPE AND EAT MUMMY'S CORPSE!
>wake up, realize it's just a dream
>open the fridge to eat some leftover tendess
>find leftover mummy
>delicious
>rape her dead mouth
>feel tired and sickly after a whole week of no GBP
>i've made a mistake
>i crawl back into the warm, disemboweled corpse of New Daddy
>fall asleep
>never wake up
>>
>>31030933
I don't get it - who was the lady in the suit?
>>
>>31020518
Oh god, my sides.
tnemmoc lanigiro
>>
>>31032503
Oh lighten up and live a little!
>>
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>be me
>38 years old, still unemployed
>4am
>horny after watching Pokemon: Johto Journey & munching tendies all night
>clomp my way across the landing to mummy's room
>clamber onto her bed
>MUMMY WUMMY ITS TIME FOR MY TUMMY TO GIVE YOU THE TENDIES THAT COME FROM MY ENDIES
>she wakes groggy and confused
>"Oh no, no Anon, please. We said-"
>she bursts into tears
>"We said I would only do it once. You got your 50,000 GBP to promise to never do it again."
>stupid bitch is crying hysterically now
>"I need to get up for work in an hour. The office told me if I'm late again I'll be f-f-fired."
>grab her hair and yank her head up
>NO MUMMY ITS TIME FOR YOU TO RECYCLE THE CHICKEN TENDIES BECAUSE TENDIES FROM MY ENDIES ARE YUMMY FOR MUMMYS TUMMY
>tries to wriggle away, gasping hysterically, but I grab her slender wrists with my Charizard strength
>MUMMY YOU ARE SO PRETTY I tell her as the tears stream down her red, puffy face
>MUMMYEEEEEEEERRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO EAT THE SECOND HAND TENDIES
>she nods slowly, lower lip quivering
>squat myself over mummy's accepting face and pull down my black shorts with the flames up the sides
>mummy opens her mouth, trembling with horror and racked with sobs as she tries to keep still, I can feel her hot breath on my hairy, shit-encrusted anus
>(tendies tendies from my endies, from my tummy into mummy) I whisper into the night air
>within seconds I feel something
>a gushing of release and relief from my guts expels explosive and gaseous from my itchy bumhole, spraying and splopping chunks and jets and gooey ropes of every colour all over mummy's face and into her pink, waiting mouth
>hear her gagging and crying even harder underneath me
>relief is so intense I fall face-first onto her bed, booty naked in the air
>EAT MY TENDIES MUMMY, THEYRE SO GOOD AND YUMMY I say into the bedding, muffled
>hear her trying to swallow
>just keeps gagging and crying
>I fall asleep there and when I wake up at 3pm she's gone

fucking normie bitch
>>
>>31032795
specifically the part at the end
>>
>>31020967
>I can have tendies for lunch dinner and breakfast.

With my salary I could buy more tendies than you could ever imagine.
>>
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>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game
>ask mummy to drive me to EB Games
>says she drank too much of her adult grape juice so she cant drive
>decide to go myself
>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies
>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)
>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
>see cousin dylan walking home from school with his friends
>wave hello but he pretends not to notice me (lol he's so shy)
>get to EB Games, grab a copy of Super Smash Brothers, and head to cashier
>tell him i would like to purchase this game using my accumulated good boy points
>he gives me a weird look and then asks for my EB Games Edge points rewards card
>huh? i don't have that. its what mummy must use to keep my GBP on
>ask him if i can pay with my chicken tendies
>"uh.. no, you cant pay with chicken, that's not legal tender"
>"WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY CHICKEN TENDERS, WTF YOU THINK, THAT THESE ARE NUGGETS OR SOMETHING?"
>he tells me he's calling security, so i grab the the game and run, get on my bike, and flee
>get somewhere safe, check out game, THE CASE IS FUCKING EMPTY, IT WAS JUST FOR DISPLAY
>so angry, i take a big meaty shit inside the case and smush it shut
>throw it on sidewalk and watch as some excited kid finds and picks it up
>lel not a complete loss i guess
>get home, police car there
>mom is hysterical
>"ANON THERE YOU ARE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??"
>tell her of my adventure as she hugs me
>get extra tendies for dinner that night
>>
Kids meals & ball pit burger joints 4 lyfe.
>>
>>31039254
Aren't those things for you know KIDS??
>>
>>31039388
They're for good boys of ALL AGES
>>
>>31039627
Why do you people refuse to grow up?? This board is beyond fucking saving
>>
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>>31039642
Has it ever occurred to you that we don't want your saving, Reddit?

Fuck off.
>>
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>>31016777
fucking retard. kys
not original suck my dick.
>>
>>31017881
Youre new here aint you kiddo
>>31016777
Trips confirm OP is tendie boss
>>
>>31019710
Oh boy oh boy sub-reddit tier summerfag detected
>>
>No one has linked the Xev mommy gf vid yet
What the fuck /r9k/
>>
>>31039723
link it yourself maybe?
>>
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>>31039723
>>31039824
http://yespornplease.com/view/523838556
There we go, I found it
>>
Good lord...

That video is something else.
>>
Did anybody save the Zenyatta story from a few days ago? That one was top tier.
>>
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>4 am
>happy tummy full of tendies
>be right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddy left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown tendy-log in my XXL diapey - i'm mummys big baby boy, she always says that :)
>i plop down in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of fresh tendy-log and 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
>mummy grabs orange bottle from nightstand and rewards herself extra-helping of sleep candies, hehee she deserves it!
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many GBP await me for not waking her up!!
>>
>>31040390
>i wonder when she'll wake up
...do we tell him?
>>
>>31033019
pls b my mommy gf (male)
i promise i'll be a good little boy forever and ever
>>
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top tier thread, keep on good work big boys and mommy will reward you with GBP
>>
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>>31032957
>You sound like a man child...
You say that like it's a bad thing
>>
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These are true literary master pieces.
>>
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>3 PM
>wake up after all-nite playstation marathon
>feel the morning hungies
>expect my morning tendies left out by mummy before her wageslave time
>waddle my way into the kitchen
>no tendies
>mummy forgot my tendies
>anger fills my gelatinous body
>angry poopies overcome me and i poopsie on the floor
>smear poopsie all over floor and roll around in it
>lay there for a while
>the smell of hot, churned tendies-poopie fills the air
>wageslave mom returns home at 5 PM
>i tackle her and scream "BIG BOY HUNGIE FOR TENDIES"
>she screams out "ANON, WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"MUMMY DIDN'T LEAVE MORNING TENDIES BIG BOY HUNGIE"
>she tries to reason with me as my shell of poopie cracks off covering her in dried poopies
>"A-anon, I'm so sorry. I actually took the day of today to go on a d-date. There was a guy at the office, and..."
>"MUMMSIE WUMSIE IS MINE ME NEED TENDIES"
>angry poopsies water dribbles through my undie wundies
>"MUMMY MINE"
>poopie doopie makes my undies droopie until a hole bursts open releasing my tendies goop all over mummy
>mummy begins to cry and vomit
>i cover myself in poopsie and begin screeching
>mummy is covered in my liquid-poopsie, crying
>i smack her in the face with poopie covered man milkies
>mummy keeps and says "You're such a good, big boy, anon. I'll get you tendies now, a-and I won't go out on any more dates."
>victory waddle back to beanbag chair and celebrate with more playstation
>later mummy serves me double tendie-dindin
>mfw
>>
>>31041727
>>victory waddle back to beanbag chair
Eugh, I hope you at least took a shower first
>>
>>31016858
Hey my comment below made it into the post! Thanks Reddit!
>>
>>31016777
Great story, please write moar OP
>>
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>5:45 PM
>Wake up from a particularly intense visit to tumblrs paw fetish tag
>Even managed to stretch over my belly and reach my peepee long enough to cum with out mummys help
>Awake now, I feel the need for about 50 tendies and an extra large glass of chokie pudding to wash it down
>Press the intercom I had mommy install for my birthday last year
>"TENDIES TENDIES AND CHOKIE PUDDY!"
>If this cunt is too stupid to decipher THAT, then she's beyond all fucking help
>Mommy sprints up the stairs 20 minutes later with 2 50 piece nuggets from mcdonalds and a large jug of puddy
>Nuggets
>"Do it again or I'll fucking kill myself and light the house on fire right before I pull the fucking trigger."
>"Wha- Oh right! Tendies, not nuggies! I'm so so sorry honey..."
>"Honey'
>Fucking HONEY
>Mommy knows I like to be called her sweetpea
>Roll out of bed and lunge at her, the poopoo from last weeks Poofap party in hand
>Smash it into her fucking face as hard as I can while screaming "POOPOO POISON PAWNCH!!!"
>Mommy falls backwards into the radiator, but this has happened so many times her skull is calloused enough to tank the shot, she scrambles to her feet and rushes back to the car
>By the time she returns, I've eaten all the nuggies and chugged down the puddy
>She has the 50 tendies
>But no new puddy

Guys, I try to be understanding but this is borderline child neglect. How do I show her that this is unacceptable? It's obvious my gentle reminders won't be as effective now that her skull doesn't crack on the radiator anymore.
>>
>>31024416
Not retarded enough imo
>>
>>31042127
>Press the intercom I had mommy install for my birthday last year
Fucking lucky, man. All I got was a megaphone.

At least it has that beeping sound though.
>>
>>31024299
>I was merely pretending to be retarded
oreeginalll
>>
NORMIES FUCK OFF, THIS IS ALL SATIRE
GO BACK TO ORBITING STACY
>>
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>wake up at 5pm with tummy grumbles
>been saving up my GBP to have a real tendy feast
>squat-walk as fast as I can to mommy's room
>she's sitting in her chair looking at an old album of my baby photos and crying
>I break out in my favorite song
>"TENDIES ARE MY FAVORITE TREAT! NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EAT!"
>she looks up dejectedly
>"A-anon, I'm not really up for getting tendies right now. Can't we get them later?"
>can't believe what I'm hearing
>I even passed up getting Amiibos with my GBP in anticipation of this meal
>"MY INTESTINES ARE FULL AND MY ANUS IS WET! A DAY WITHOUT TENDIES IS A DAY YOU'LL REGRET!
>"Wait, anon I-"
>I can see in her eyes that she already knows her words are too late
>"TENDIES WERE MY ONE DESIRE! NOW BEHOLD MY FECAL MIRE!
>liquid ex-tendies pour from my body and start to fill the room
>mommy's screams are drowned out by the caca-phony being emitted from my rumpus
>fast forward an hour and I'm eating all the Wendy's tendies my heart could desire

The key to dealing with normie moms is making sure that they know their plac
>>
>>31042925
You seem to know about tendies. Which are the best brand? Also how would a 26 year old NEET go about breaking in their mother so that I will have someone to cook them for me? Also how has market inflation been with Good Boy Points in relation to the US dollar. If you could be so kind as to share your expert knowledge it would be greatly appreciated.
>>
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>Mummy walks in the door holding bags of groceries
>"Looks like mummy got some groceries, and she looks friendly. I wonder perhaps, did she pick up my tendies?"
>Yes, anon, I got you your tendies. They'll be ready in time for dinner.
>"Methinks, perhaps, they'd best be made now; Lest ye become burdened by poo poo somehow..."
>Anon, I don't have time. I need to go pick up your sister from school.
>"Sissy can wait, but poo poo cannot. The tendies will be here and they will be hot."
>Please don't do this again, anon. We can't afford to keep buying you new diapers.
>"You've forsaken me whim, let the poo poo commence. The contents within will be quite immense"
>What are you... OH MY GOD, ANON. THAT SMELLS TERRIBLE
>"I warned you, dear mummy, most surely I did. This is what you get for neglecting your kid!"
Then I played CS: Go for an hour before taking a lengthy nap. Upon my awakening, a warm plate of tendies. Life is comfy.
>>
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>>31016777
You guys do know this is satire, right?
>>
What the hell is wrong with you people?? The way some of you live is appalling....
>>
Anybody that believes this shit is stupid and pathetic beyond words. Retard tier.
>>
>>31016777
Fuck off OP why is this giving me a boner.
>>
>>31044088
>m-muh satire!!

Just own up to it you fucking manchild
>>
>>31020518
the one on the right is a piss JUG not a bottle you fucking dip
>>
>>31016777
you're a piece of shit if this is real, literally kill yourself
>>
>>31044122
t. retard original
>>
I know this is just a made-up story, but when I imagine that someone actually lives that way this is truly nightmare fuel.
I actually feel very bad now for living with my mom, although I'm not a NEET and I'm 20.

shit I will save these stories and read them every time I feel lazy
>>
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>Mommy gives me $20 and tells me to go walk to the movies so she and New New Daddy can have some alone time
>"For tickets alone, this sum shall suffice. But I must eat too, and that begs a higher price!"
>Jesus Anon, when are you going to stop talking like that? It's really getting on my nerves
>bitch still gives me another $20
>"Mummy, upon leaving the theatre, the hour will be late. A ride I demand, and I don't like to wait!"
>Anon, the theater is a 5 minute walk away. Get home yourself
>"Neglect of your child is the worst of my triggers. Do you wish to see me set upon by unruly niggers?"
>Anon, don't use that language! We live in a safe neighborhood, now go
>"The march to the theatre looms long and unfriendly. To maintain my stamina, I require Tendies!"
>mummy is visibly mad at this point
>Anon, I'm not making you more tendies, you had two cases earlier. Your body doesn't need any more!
>"Ah, i see it's a matter of my digestive capacity. The solution, I assure you, is not beyond my sagacity!"
>stick thumb down throat
>puke all over mummy's special Just For Daddy dress
>"My stomach is emptied, it demands to be refilled! Now cook up more tendies, the only task in which you're skilled!"
>mummy starts crying
>walks toward bathroom
>I pull her back into the kitchen
>she cooks me tendies while crying silently
>all is right with the universe
>>
>>31044874
your manner of speaking is very hypnotic! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
>>
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The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!

>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"Anon, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"Anon stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my dinosaur table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.

If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
>>
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>>31032806
>using dumb normie meme
>being this shocked

reddit is that way, newfriend
>>
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>3.46 p.m.
>get a hankering for Dragon Ball Z (TV Series 1996 - 2003)
>cant get off couch due to muscular-skeletal indevelopment
>scream at mum upstairs
>doesnt reply
>hear sobbing, know the dumb bitch is awake
>yell that ill vomit on the cat
>hear her coming downstairs
>fucking whore took ages, i bet she needs those crutches because of her boyfriend tyrone's dick
>fucking an ape, racemixing filth could drop a dirty baby
>arrives after 44 seconds
>"three seconds late bitch!" i yell after swallowing a mouthfull of whipped cream and pizza
>"would you like me to put on muppets treasure island again dear?"
>stupid bitch cant even remember the schedule
>i keep staring at her, waiting for the timetable to work its way through her mushy brain
>"cars?" she says, clearly getting uncomfortable at her own incompetence
>im getting sick of this shit, dumb bitch needs to be broken in
>pick up a handfull of skittles
>"the lion king?" she says, watching my fist close around them
>sadistic cunt knows how hard activity is with my developmental problems
>pelt her with a handful of sticky skittles
>she flinches, and keeps guessing
>"monsters inc.?" her voice trembling now
>throw another handful of skittles
>this ones heavy on green
>greens my favourite
>now im fucking mad
>start turtling a shit in my pants
>she can tell from my face going red
>"b-b-bambi?" shes really scared now
>the estate agents not going to be impressed if she cant clean my shit up before tomorrow
>keep pushing my shit out
>"d-dragon b-b-ball?" shes sobbing now
>not close enough, i can feel the shit against the couch
>"dragon...ball...GT?"
>had enough
>"DRAGON BALL Z YOU FUCKING WHORE"
>shes weeping as she puts the tape in
>goes upstairs faster than she came down the lazy slut
>fucking bakugan starts playing
Retarded normie bimbo can't even read kanji!
>>
>>31046613
>swallowing a mouthfull of whipped cream and pizza
What a disgusting gluttonous pig
>>
>>31032208
>>weave in and out of a crowd of people on the sidewalk, they're getting angry, as if they expect me to ride on the street!
>>31038987
>>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
Do people actually do this?
>>
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>>31025945
what are you doing on this board normalfag??
>>
>>31047859
I come for the tendies and the lullz ;)
>>
>>31024209
Why are women allowed to post on this board again?
>>
This thread has made me realized how many newfags there are on this board... REEEEEE, etc.
>>31046902
>>
>>31048112
*realize
Shit lads sorry, I can't english.
>>
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>>31048112
>>31048132

We're just here for the fun anon! A peak into how the other half lives if you will...
>>
>>31048161
Honestly, this thread is hilarious, you're right anon.
>>
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> Be me on 31st birthday
> Super excited for my party mother organised downstairs
> Mother comes inside my room to greet me as I've been a very good boy this year
> "MUMMIE MUMMIE WHERE IS MY PRESENTS!"
> "Not yet, anon - the party is downstairs"
> "I WANT MY PRESENTS NOW!" I said
> Mother rolled her eyes and went down stairs
> I dont need any good boy points today, its me birthdaaaay!
> Decide to be extra good for the guests downstairs so I cleaned my asshole extra in the shower so no poopie will show.
> Run downstairs to show guests my clean no poopie butt
> -Silence-
> All guests are shocked at how clean my poopie free asshole is, all 2 of them (grammie and mummy)
> "GRAMMY LOOK AT MY POOOOPIE HOOOOLE!"
> Grandma so happy for me.
> mfw best birthday ever
>>
>>31048326
th-this didn't really happen r-right?
>>
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i really love reading these. feels good to read about women suffering.
>>
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>>31026081
Excellent subtle bait. Caught a lot of people with it
>>
>>31048529
watch out. women suffering may lead to women's suffrage
>>
>go outside for the first time in 2 years because im a good boy for mommy
>mommy takes me to papa johns to buy me a pizza
>ask for tendies at the papa johns
>they ask me what tendies are
>ill tell you one more fucking time
>I WANT MY CHICKEN TENDIES RREEE
>they say they don't have chicken tenders and ask me if i would like some chicken wings instead
>they crossed the fucking line
>act calm and say i want a pizza
>ask for a two liter bottle of coke with the pizza
>they give me the coke bottle and pizza
>sneak bottle into the bathroom and take a poopie in it
>snicker as i shake up the bottle as much as i can
>exit the bathroom give them the bottle back saying i think its stale
>they open the bottle and get face full of poopoo
>fucking normies had it coming
>>
>>31048682
tfw normies & wageys get rekt
>>
>>31038558
tfw get a boner while reading these.
maybe fapping once per day really isnt enough. dont even want to know what would happen if i fell for the nofap meme.
>>
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> Be healthy 300 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Arrive at Gamestop, mom makes GBP transaction with the wagey behind the coutner
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "Anon! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "ANON! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the two other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting all the normies in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies, mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> Decisive victory
>>
>>31049223
>mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
Try wacking your her with the Minecraft sword, she probably has candy inside of her!
>>
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>enjoying my yummy tummy tendies and masturbating to super princess peach
>typical monday night
>suddenly notice its almost 2:30 am
>Hannah Montana reruns at 2:30 am
>there is an astonishing lack of Hannah Montana and or tvs in my lair
>call my poopnosed mommy
>she doesn't come in
>wait for a patient 5 seconds minimum
>call again
>no answer, the bitch is still sleeping
>she has no idea who she's dealing with
>hit my head against the wall and start screaming
>i can see her wake up from acoss the hall
>threaten to kill myself again
>finally she comes in
>it's about time
>says some shit about bothering the whole apartment complex and how she has to go to work tomorrow
>doesn't realize i don't care
>tell her to get the tv in here
>"anon, you already have 3 tvs sweetie"
>"no mommy, i want the new tv in here"
>she sighs and tells me to get up and go to the living room myself if i want to watch it
>sheathe my katana
>politely explain that i have 1 tv for each show i watch and none of the tvs are made for Hannah Montana
>stupid cunt doesn't understand that watching another show on the wrong tv completes imbalance
>whore didn't learn that that's the reason why i set fire to the last apartment
>"fine, but only if you clean up your poopoo jugs while im gone"
>that fucking cunt telling me what to do
>while the bitch is gone empty the shit-jugs onto her bed as punishment
>come back
>she's still struggling to get the damn thing in here
>take another poopoo on the ground to pass the time and show her who's boss
>the staggering wench comes in here
>slips on the poopoo
>tv falls on her head
>she stops moving
>blood comes from behind
>dont care, tv's in my room
>plug it in
>realize ill have to watch the tv from top-down because stupid whore is trapped underneath
>dont care, it's pretty funny
>turn on tv.
>buzz-lightyear of star command comes on
>look at the clock
>it's 2:30 pm
>PM
>Take another shit on my mom for making me fuck up again
>>
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With piss bottles filled,
And tendies amassed,
It's normie skulls I command be smashed!
So grab your cape,
And grab your cane,
It's time the normies knew our pain!
We'll flood the streets
We'll siege their homes!
All Chads and Stacies and Tyrones,
Will fear the night,
Will rue the day,
A girlfriend wasn't sent my way!
The uprising's here,
And they ALL will see,
The end has arrived and normies will hear our

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>31032603
>muddy lemonade protocol

holy shit
>>
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>Be me
>Living with mommy and asshole stepchaddy
>Usually keep to myself down in the basement with my animes, and vidya while they screw around upstairs
>That fucking chimp thinks I cant hear him bang my mom in this house of paperthin walls
>One day he's doing laundry
>Motherfucker thinks he can put his undies in the same basket as mine and wash them together
>ThisFuckingNigger.avi
>Tell him that's a big nono and tell mommy on him
>She has to listen to me, I've earned many GBP last week for calling a truce and not chucking my doodoo in the Tyrones aquarium
>That fucking junglebunny had the audacity to tell me to grow up and stop making my moms life a living hell and move out and get a job
>A job
>A FUCKING JOB
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>run to my batcave and take out my glorious 3rd Reich armband
>Eat this subby
>Parade around the house screaming Sieg Heil and Heil Hitler
>Notice my neighbours watching
>My middle schools bff dad, I heard he moved out and married a fitnessjock in SF
>Anyway
>Tyrone chimps out
>OOO OOO AAA AAA
>Comes at me full speed
>OHSHIT.gif
>Start spinning my arms in a forward direction
>Actually sock him in big fat apenose
>"MUTHAFUCKA WHITEBOI" "That's it Martha! I'm out!"
>Notice moms in the corridor crying like a little bitch and smoking ciggs
>Tyrone runs upstairs and starts packing his suitcase
>Run to mom and put my face a few inches from hers
>"Start vaping bitch"
>Run to Tyrones aquarium and lays the big poopie that was laying in my underino all this time
>That'll teach that slave
>Tyrone comes downstairs and goes out the front door
>Mom runs after him
>Tyrone pls dont! He's just a boy!
>"HE'S 32, FFS MARTHA!"
>kek, like age has anything to do with that
>Moms still screaming behind him and he stops, he looks like he's coming around
>NotOnMyWatchCoon.jpg
>run out and stand between him an mommy
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"NO! FUCK THIS"
>Steals neighbours car and drives off
>Mommy realizes I'm the only man for her
>Mommy's good boy wins again
>>
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>Actual normies on this board
GET OUT REEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>Wake up at 6pm
>Pull myself to my encrusted laptop and check the date
>It's tuesday
>TENDIE TUESDAY
>Erupt from my chair and start running up the stairs from my basement
>Trip on 4 piss jugs that I never put the caps on
>Heh, normiese BTFO
>Race to the kitchen
>My tendies aren't there
>My tendies. Aren't. There.
>Suddenly moms comes in from the front door
>She looks exhausted, the old scrawny bitch
>Has the audacity to sit down without making my tendies
>Walk up to her
>"Where are my tendies mom? How am I supposed to eat?"
>She tells me she's sorry and had a long day at work but will make them soon
>At this point I've fucking had enough
>Grab her head with both hands and start violently shaking her head while screaming in her ears "MY TENDIES WEREN'T THERE" over and over
>After I let her go she emotionlessly slumps back into the chair and doesn't say a word
>bitch finally knows her fucking place
>victory strut back to my room
>start getting hungry so check on her in 15 minutes
>she hasn't moved
>check in an hour
>she hasn't moved
>check in another hour
>she hasn't moved
>I'm still fucking hungry
>>
>>31051080
>>Actually sock him in big fat apenose
Oh come on that's just not cool
>>
>Wednesday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>Anon you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>Anon please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of piping hot chili
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.
>>
>>31046055
>If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
The fact that she's the one responsible for forcing you into this tortured existence called life is reason enough to hate her even more.
>>
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>>31016777
>4pm
>early
>>
>>31025945
>>>/g/
>>>/e/
>>>/t/
>>>/out/

>fucking normies
>>
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>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for robots to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves, her eyes tearing up
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and punch the shit out of her
>She's out cold
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."
>>
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>TFW you realize you swap the word 'tendie' for 'sketty' and you're reading a story from a fluffy's POV.
>>
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>be 7
>550 pound bundle of joy
>mommy is driving me to school
>anxiety, shit my undies as we approach the drivers line
>mummy stops in line and waits for my 6,9 ripped special helper to get me out of the van
>van door opens, mr. chad grabs me
>"c'mon, Anon ready for your big day of learning?"
>kick, fart and panic as he drags me out
>he places me in my good boy chair and puts on the fun straps
>wheeled off to cafiteria for breakfast
>i get to cut through line since i'm so special
>mfw
>Mr. Chad tells me my options
>"okay, we have a breakfast sandwitch, toaster sticks and an egg burrito"
>I WANT THE TENDIES
>"there is not tendies, Ano-"
>REEEEE louder than i ever have before
>break free from one of the fun straps
>my special helper as well as other staff rush to restrain me
>i am subdued with a sleepy shot
>wake up in special classroom, brads makeing donky noises and banging his head against the wall
>fuckingretard.jpeg
>its a code green day, theres an elided shooter in the building
>Mr. chad turns off the lights and closes the door
>we all have to sit against the wall
>he tells me to be quiet
>he can't tell me what to do
>REEE in short burts, Mr. Chad tells me to shut the fuck up
>hear loud BOOM and the door handle flies off
>unknown hero in trenchcoat emerges from the mist and shoots Mr.chad as well and my classmates
>mfw he dident shoot me.
>>
>>31053978
dear lord


I hope you don't have heart problems
>>
>>31054415
Right, lets not worry about all the poor little disabled children that were shot dead.
>>
>>31053978
>>anxiety, shit my undies as we approach the drivers line
Please tell me you were cleaned & changed before being wheeled into the school.
>>
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>Watching Bear in the Big Blue House. Fapping over Shadow.

>Mombitch comes in crying and hugs me

>I swat her away with my Dorito covered hands. She knows I hate being touched

>She just found out my cousin is dying of cancer and it made Mombitch worry that she could lose me (she might, if she doesn't stop being such a whore I'll kill myself)

>I don't care until Mombitch mentions my cousin is GETTING A FREE TRIP TO DISNEYLAND paid by a charity

>I lie down and start screeching REEEEEEE at how unfair it is.

>Tell Mombitch I want to go to Disneyland and she has to tell everyone I have cancer so they'll send me

>Stupid bitch refuses so I make her jump off the roof to raise money to bring me to Disneyland

>She raises around $800 by charging people to watch but the selfish bitch uses the money to pay for a hospital visit after breaking her legs in the jump

>I should have gone to Disneyland with that money so I write FUCK YOU BITCH in shit on the walls of her hospital room.
>>
>>31055464
>paying for healthcare

kek

Amerishits crack me up.
>>
>>31030933
This post is going to be in my nightmares :|
>>
>>31030933
>Mommy is talking to a lady in a suit
What kind of suit are we talking about here?
>>
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>in my room browsing /r9k/ and deviantart
>mom comes in
>"anon, we're having company round later, could you please shower"
>remind her to call me shadow killer and tell her that water burns my skin (the only liquid I can touch is mountain dew)
>"o..okay shadow killer"
>throw a piss bottle at her to frighten her into never forgetting again
>5pm now
>ask my whore mom where my chicken nuggets are
>there are people here
>"everyone this is anon" says my stupid dad
>scream at him that my name is fucking shadow killer
>everyone looks tense
>"hey anon, what are you into?"
>tell them that I like hentai, mlp and 4chan
>"what's 4chan anon?"
>that's it
>attack him with my blazing shadow technique while shouting that my name's shadow killer
>he dodges and I fall into the wall,smashing through because of my weight
>use my spell attack "mortem omnibus normies"
>"what's a normie?"
>grab the shitjug I was concealing under my trench coat
>smash it over the stupid cunts head
>shit's everywhere
>remember about my chicken nuggets
>hurl myself at my bitch mom
>screaming CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!
>she's crying
>grab her by the hair and drag her into the kitchen
>say get to work bitch
>"anon, you're 28, can't you make your own chicken nuggets?"
>smash her head against the oven while screaming DARKNESS PILEDRIVE
>there's a loud snap
>go back upstairs
>check deviantart messages
>can hear ambulance sirens outside
Normie bitch rekt.
>>
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Jesus fucking christ, you people disgust me. How cna you life with yourselves being a useless diaper-wearing leech? I sincerely hope you all get gassed in the first Holocaust(TM)
>>
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>be me
>wake up from ten hour nap, starving
>craving tendies
>saved up some extra gbp by helping mommy bring in groceries
>only problem is mommy's boyfriend chad is with her in their room making snugglies
>fucking hate that bitch i want tendies now
>yell at mommy through closed door
>"MOMMY! WENDY'S TENDIES! WENDY'S TENDIES! WENDY'S TENDIES!"
>"not now anon ill get you some later"
>fucking bitch ill show her
>get my pissjugs from under my bed, along with my cum blanket, pretty much completely crusty at this point
>barge into mommy's room
>chad is on top of mommy
>take one of my pissjugs and pour contents onto them
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" chad screams
>mommy is sobbing
>"WENDY'S TENDIES ARE SO SPLENDID! NONE FOR YOU AND ALL FOR ME. IF YOU WANT SOME TASTY TENDIES, GBP WILL BE THE FEE."
>chad punches me, fall over, breaking pissjugs on floor
>piss is everywhere
>pee is a fetish of mine, get really horny
>take out my iphone 6s and type in my favorite hentai
>start using my cum blanket to jerk off my dick
>chad and mommy are staring in shock
>chad gets up and leaves, mommy chasing after him
>"CHAD, WAIT!" mommy is crying
>"I can't handle this anymore Stacy, you're son is a fucking freak."
>chad slams door and drives away
>finish fapping, cum buckets into my cum blanket
>drape freshly minted semen-blankey over mum's head
>"ill go get your tendies now anon" she says, sadly
>tfw I break her
>mommy comes home with tendies
>gobble them up while watching the littlest pet shop and fapping some more
>and i still have 50 gbp left.
>>
>>31048326
Well did you ever get your presents?
>>
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>Wake up
>Look about my domain
>holy-fugg.jpg
>Hot plate of tendies on my desk right next to my Twilley plush.
>Mummy comes in
>ask about how many GBP it will cost me for this.
>None, Anonny~
>And don't you mean GGP
>wat.mp4
>look down
>I am a m'lady
>Mummy comes closer to my bed
>Removes her silk bath robe
>sweating-intensifies.png
>She slowly pulls off my mario bed sheets
>Remember I'm not wearing pants
>strangely the sheets don't feel scratchy and hurt my tushie
>Mummy takes off bedsheet
>I have a negative pee pee
>mummy starting touching my nakey pee pee
>feels-good-man.png
>suddenly a panic fills me
>my pee pee jugs are gone
>start tearing up.
>mummy doesn't stop and now my wee wee hurts
>Quickly pull my endtable aside and my backup poo poo jugs are gone too.
>heavy-wailing.avi
>suddenly I wake up again.
>I am me and in my crust-crust beddy
>let out a cheery-cheer
>mummy tells me to fuck off and that she doesn't love me.
>That bitch
>Don't wanna leave my sleepy corner incase there are normies outside
>cry and jack-off to starbound porn

Atleast I'm only 20 GBP away from getting more keys in counter strike: global offensive
>>
>be me
>wake up from 11+ hours of nap after smokin' some weed and crack
>feels hungry
>i see no tendies
>yells at momma while shooting my gold-plated Kalash
>"MOMMA WHERES MUH TENDIES YOU BITCH!"
>remembers that she is jailed
>dumb mommabitch had it coming, every niggas knows that you should not whoring near gathering of white boys that pretend to be ghosts while burning cross
>dons custom boxers for muhh dikk is too long and large
>wears the blingest chain i've got for 100 gnp(good nigga point for you whitebois)
>pray to harembe for easy tendies
>i never got them

you whitebois had it easy
>>
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>be me
>29 yo
>watching gay porn on my computer
>furiously stroking my 4 inches dick
>mom comes in mid-stroke
>"anon, is that gay porn?"
>"n-no"
>she takes a rolled up newspaper and starts to hit me with it
>"you know the lord doesn't like when you watch that kind of thing!"
>"please mommy stop" i'm crying
>"on your back, now!" i can't but obey
>she slaps my penis
>i'm begging her
>"now if I see you watching gay porn again, it's 2 months in chastity cage!"
>ohno.jpg, the chastity cage is always painfull
>she removes all my current GBP, and I can't have tendies for all week.
>also she won't change my diaper

mfw lying in bed in a soiled diaper without tendies.
>>
>>31059819
Shit in her bed anon, you need to put that bitch in her place.
>>
>>31059093
>cancer strike: globally offended
>>
>>31032457
Maybe you should write a Pretty Princess Points story then
>>
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>be me
>28th birthday today
>wake up and hear mommy talking with someone downstairs.
>WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY MORNING TENDIES BITCH REEEEEEE
>REEEE as loud as I can, there's no way I'm leaving my room.
>Mommy takes forever to come to the door, decide to teach her a lesson.
>Spray her with my pee pee soaker the moment she enters the door.
>Some of it goes on her new Chad.
>He shouts "what the fuck" and hits me in the face.
>I taste blood and everything goes dark,
>A few hours later.
>I wake up and take a few minutes to get up.
>Ready to get my revenge.
>Go downstairs where Chad is doing cummies in mommy.
>REEEEEEEEEEE
>Use tard strength to tackle Chad and begin hitting him.
>Mommy is screaming at me to stop but new daddy is already dead.
>She goes for the phone and tries to call the police.
>I lay on top of her until she promises to be good and brings me some tendies.
>>
>>31032721
I like to imagine mummy as a petite milf with hollow sadness in her eyes and Anon as a massive hambeast who can easily overpower her despite being horribly out of shape.
>>
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> be me
> raised as an only child (I'm only 38)
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> mfw its 03:00am
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "PISS OFF SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> challenging me at this hour?
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.
>>
>>31060296
That'll show that whore, messing with the most honorable time of the day, tendies time.

How do you live with such a bitch. My mother always makes sure I get my din-dins at a moments notice.
>>
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>Be NEET
>Parents are wagecucks, tell them how pathetic they are at dinner every night
>One day wake up, 6:30
>Nobody woke me up for dinner at 6:00
>Run down the steps, screeching at my parents for trying to let me starve
>No answer
>Hmmm
>Go into parents room
>See them both dead, holding hands, a gun in each of their off hands and a bullet wound through both of their heads
>Note between them
>"Dear anon, we are sorry, but we cannot stand this type of existence anymore. We both love you very much, but our lives simply aren't worth living if they're going to be like this. We left you chicken tenders and bagel bites in the freezer, and instructions on how to reheat them. We're so sorry honey bunches. Please, please forgive us, and be okay. Love, mom and pop."
>mfw my parents became an hero because they couldn't stand being wagecuck's anymore
>Start to panic, know that Jewman will make me leave the house if they find out my parents are dead
>Hide their bodies under the mattress, eat the tendies that they left me (ignore shitty bagel bites)
>they left me enough power and internet to last a while, play Smite & Runescape for a few weeks
>Eventually run out of tendies
>Go to the bites
>Almost out of those when I hear a knock at the door
>It's Mr. Shekelsteens wagecuck HR Person
>Parents are both high up in their company, when they wouldn't answer their phone for such a long time, Mr. Shekelsteen sent this asshole to check on them
>Tell him they went on vacation in Wagekuktopia
>He doesn't believe me, starts to get panicked because he smells "carrion"
>Runs up to my parents bed and finds them
>I get charged for murder even though I didn't do it
>Court case lasts 17 months, spend most of my time in lock up because I can't afford bail, not after they stopped giving me my NEETbux
>I am found not guilty, but they also find that I am "Mentally unfit"
>They give me triple the NEETbux parents used to give me
>mfw I keep their house and eat tendies like a king for my entire life
>>
People in this thread has just a good opportunity for the sweet neet life.

If you just behaved yourself, your mother's would be delighted and would mind at all if you were a well behaved neet.

At this point, because of the over demanding endeavours and shit throwing, that would settle immediately in a deal for a well behaved anon means no job ever and neet life.

Goood strategy I suppose.

Also stop the shit throwing it's not cool
>>
>>31060944
Thats a sad story anon.

They killed themselves because of you.
All you care about is tendies. How can you care the most about breaded chicken.

I just weap
>>
>rkhjgbkxzdg
>>
Why has this thread been up for 3 days?
>>
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>wake up at 11:00 PM after a healthy two week nap.
>roll off my bed and crush several cum jars as I land.
>stupid mommy, I told her to drink them.
>roll over to the basement door where my good boy's stairlift takes me up all seven steps.
>shout for mommy to come and help me off.
>no reply.
>I'm getting mad now. That bitch better make me some good fucking tendies or I'll have a good boy tantrum again.
>she finally comes.
>her eyes look funny as if she's been crying.
>"WENDIES TENDIES GIVE ME TENDIES" I shout, she tries to calm me down and tell me something.
>"Anon, I went t-to the doctor, t-today. He told me that I have..."
>don'tcare.jpg
>I WANT TENDIES NOW BITCH REEEEEEEE
>she begins to cry and asks if I'm even human.
>this fucking bitch. She should remember that I'm dark elf warmage.
>take out my concealed piss jar and smash it over her head.
>she falls down and doesn't move.
>I make the long journey back down into the basement.
>fresh plate of chicken tendies pushed under the food flag.
>mfw I win again.
>>
>>31016777
Wasn't expecting to get a boner from a tendies story
>>
>>31062292
>getting turned on by this

wh-what?
>>
>>31062561
>not wanting to fuck your mom dressed as a slut
>>
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>>31016777
the fuck is wrong with you?

I swear to god there are some bots not wired up right in the head

but you take the fucking biscuit

if you were my kid I would have left you out in the wild for the bears to eat
>>
>>31016777
>>Dont smell tendies in the air.
Are you serious?????
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>31060296
Robots are so considerate! You not only count in military time, but you STILL use the am/pm suffix to be EXTRA clear with what time it is, presumably for mummy's benefit!
>>
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thats it i'm moving back to /pol
>>
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>>31057333
>ten hours
>nap
Thread posts: 313
Thread images: 112


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