what is the most desperate thing you have ever done /r9k/?

About 3 times a month I'll feel in intense feeling of loneliness and sadness after midnight and I will drive around half-ass racing people on the streets until I get to Walmart. I just walk through the entire store looking for something that will make me happy while hoping I would bump into someone I knew and then I leave with beer and get drunk alone until I pass out.

I've tried several bars in the past, but I never felt better than when I came in when I went alone and the only other place with people around here is Walmart after midnight.

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close my eyes and fap to my imagination cause loli wasn't doing it for me and I wanted real cp. ;~;.

>>26431714
I fucked my ass with my dick, and gave myself a blowjob... I'm really flexible.

Sucked a hooker's dick for a glass of Hawaiian punch

>>26432107

how big is ur dong?

>>26432129

did you need the calories or something?

>>26432140
Pretty big.
for you

>>26432189

how big would my dong have to be for fucking myself to be a realistic possibility?

>>26432220
About as big as mine.

>>26431714
Begged a friend online to sing me to sleep in a bout of depression.

I have a foot fetish and since I am not good with girls, I asked my friend if I could worship his feet. He is a bi scene/emo guy with very feminine features. $50 later and I was spending my Saturday afternoon under his desk beneath his soles while he played Hearthstone :) First and only time I've licked or smelled a pair of feet, didn't think it would be a guy's

>>26432234

I thought you were trying to be charming with your first reply but you're clearly just purposely trying not to give me the info I seek. I don't know why you're being so passive aggressive, but goodbye then...

>>26431940
I know thta feel bruh

Drive around hoping to find someone I used to know, or just maybe fantasize like some qt drops her something and I help pick it up and we start talking.

But every time I just end up buying a case of beer and coming home to drink til I pass out.

>>26431940
I sometimes go to the mall and sit in the food court just so I can be near people. The funny thing is every time I went I saw a neckbeard doing the same thing.

>flashback to bday
>no one told me happy bday, anon.
>feelsbadman.png
>told a girl that doesn't even care about me that it was my birthday just to receive a message.

It makes me cringe everytime. How miserable.

>>26432247
you had to pay your bi friend to let you play with his feet?

are you sure hes bi/your friend?

>>26432818
It was part of the "roleplay". I had to call him God and Master and he demanded that I offer "tribute" to my God as a sign of my devotion.

>>26432919
That sounds disgusting and a serious sign of a spiritual sickness

You should end all contact with that sociopath

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>>26432806
I've heard worse

>getting fired
>female boss doing the firing
>why shouldn't i annon? You have to convince me.
>"This job is all i have I don't have ANY friends, I havn't even had sex in 2 years and i dont even like it."
>fired anyway
>walk into glass door on way out

worst day of my life so far tbqh f

>>26432919
jesus that is desperate then again id pay for a woman to fuck me with a strapon

>>26432919

Not him but sounds like emotional abuse and manipulation to me. I hope the money made its way back to you somehow else that "friend" of yours is in my opinion not a real friend if they have no qualms about taking a friend's money to make their dream come true when they didn't need rh money and you weren't requesting exclusive time from with them and from them anyway considering that he was playig vidya while he fulfiled your request. Not that friends must be paid to have alone time with their friends, though....

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>>26431714
I tried to fuck a cat once and a dog and a chair and an apple and one time I stuck a hair brush up my ass that was ribbed. Pro Tip: Don't do that last one.

>>26432954


That's not too bad, she probs though you were flirting or something.

>20th (last) birthday
>no cards, no happy birthday, no party, nothing, not even from parents
>have to sign on jsa on birthday
>get alcohol to drink alone
>order pizza online and "happy birthday" written on box, ordered 3 pizzas on special offer so delivery driver asked if i was having a party nd the pizza was for the guests
>tell this story on r9k in shit birthday thread
>some poor anon tells the story of how some Goth girl kicked him in the balls with steel toed boot on and he had to be hospitalised and have them removed
>made e feel better

>>26432941
>>26432965
The thing is though that I loved it, from calling him Master to him ignoring me under his feet. I didn't want to just worship his feet, I wanted to be absolutely dominated. So yes, he may seem like a dick, but it was a better experience because of it to me.

>>26433003

were you not successful in your attempts to fuck that cat and that dog? where were you when you tried it, where'd the cat and dog come from, and why did you fail if you did?

Went to sleep hugging my dog pretending it was a girl in a dressing gown. He didn't mind though.

>>26432955
I imagined this happening and I laughed. At least your misfortune made someone happy, anon.

>>26432261
shoulda said "go fuck yourself"

>>26433040
The cat wasn't having any of my shit but the dog didn't give a fuck, at home, home, because it was a fucking cat.

>>26433029

The problem here is that your so-called "friend" is taking money from you in exchange for letting you worship him. that is not someone you should consider a friend to most, and in fact it would be considered by most to be an abusive relationship.

this is not the same as one in a couple financially caring for the other, as in such a scenario they both love one-another there are no inherent notions of either party being used. this one you consider to be your friend is taking money from you to let you put him on a pedestal and treat him well. the main issue is his taking money from you. do you understand? a true friend wouldn't require financial "compensation" for making a friend of theirs happy unless they can't afford to do what is required to make them happy without it, and that is certainly not the case here. you are to the conventional eye being abused here, so....

however you very realisticallt could be trolling here, in which case I rate your troll attempt 10/10. got me good. but you'd be deluded either way unless you see what is actually going on in the relationship you're telling us of....

>>26433126
>but the dog didn't give a fuck

but did you give it the D?

>>26433142
Other way around.

Original comment.

>>26433156

ayyyy lmao. nice.

I once spent about a month couch surfing/living out of my car.

>>26433156
man or woman?

if woman ass or vag

Met up with an ugly overweight trap from South America just so I could get my dick sucked.

>>26433176
This a feel that I am familiar with. The question is: did the car run? I've been in both situations myself.
>>26433198
The weird shit I would stick in me if I were a girl though sadly not.

>>26433227
yes it ran. living out of a broken down car would suck even more.

>>26433128
No, I'm not trolling, and I see what you are saying, but like I said, I don't mind it. It added to the inferiority/master-servant relationship that I was going for. Besides, I am going over to his house this weekend for another worship session and he is not charging me.