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Howdy. I normally just lurk around here but I've had some

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Howdy. I normally just lurk around here but I've had some thing happen to me and I just really need a place to let off some steam because I don't really trust anyone I know with all of this. So here goes basically my life story, I will try to keep it short and just give important details.

Sorry if it's a bit dull, I just have nowhere else
>grew up addicted to video games
>no friends, never talked to other people in school, thought video games were way more fun than riding bikes or hanging out with other kids
>did well enough in school, otherwise my mom wouldn't let me play video games
>mom and step dad split (real dad left when I was still a baby)
>step dad was the only real dad i'd ever had, consumed with his work but he'd take me fishing every other weekend even after he left my mom for reasons neither one ever told me
>grow up this way until I was 16 and my dad dies from kidney failure, he was getting visibly sicker but he hated going to the hospital and was too busy with work to take time off
>last thing I said to him was "I can't come over this weekend, I'm sick" a lie because I wanted to play video games, still have nightmares and regrets about it
>try to move on with life and do more than just sit around in my room and play video games all the time
>start branching out more in school, cracking jokes, most of which I stole from the internet
>can get people to laugh but quickly realize I have close to zero social skills
>every time I try to interact with anybody I quickly become a fumbling idiot with zero to talk about and zero things in my life to talk to other people about
>zero success with girls but I eventually make a couple of friends, only they are just like me and we only magnetize to each other so we don't have nobody at all and mostly sit in silence or talk about girls we like
>a dance comes up and i ask a girl, she says yes and i think i finally know what I'm doing
>we start going out and I'm too scared to do anything.
Continued
>>
holy shit anon this is exactly me please continue (my dad didn't die tho)
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>>26400392
>She dumps me after a couple of weeks (on Myspace of all things) because I never try to kiss her or anything, too scared she would dump me if I tried
>again, zero social skills
>i keep going on with life and decide I'll just never have any luck with girls and I will just focus on school and hopefully a girl as awkward and inept at social situation as me will come along
>a few months shy of my 18th birthday party and I was actually doing well. Solid grades and several colleges on the line and I had to make a choice. Lived in Colorado and figured I really had nothing out there, both my sisters had moved and my mom was going to move once I left for college, so I decided to move to Oregon
>kept going on with my schooling, getting excited about moving
>on facebook one day where I've just added complete strangers by just spamming the add friend button wherever I can and racked up a couple hundred at my peak
>make a status about buying 2 ds's so I can trade myself pokemon when I notice a girl likes the status
>message her out of boredom and figure nothing will come of it
>message for those curious "Hey I noticed you liked my status about Pokemon. Would you be interested in becoming soulmates or possibly best friends?"
>did this kind of thing on facebook a lot because I found it funny
>she actually replies and we get to talking, more and more and start skyping
>we start going out when we haven't even met yet, and 5 minutes into it she tells me she loves me and I say it back
>i've never actually had anything like that before and it just felt right
>we continue dating and eventually I meet her where she lives, she goes to a different high school and just lives in a nearby county
>we hit it off and have a good time, playing vidya, talking about thing I've never been able to talk to people about before
>we keep dating like this and I take her to my prom, my family is shocked and extremely proud of me for once in my life
Continued
>>
>>26400493
>Finally getting around the time when I have to move for school. Too late at this point to switch colleges now (at least as far as I know) and so we decide on a long distance relationship
>we both have skype and we skyped each other every single night. Most nights I would sing her to sleep with the song "Go to sleep you little baby" if you know what movie that is from, kudos to you
>for my first year of college, it all actually goes well. i keep getting solid grades and the relationship stays strong, using some of my scholarship money I fly/ drive to see her during my school breaks and finally lose our virginities new years eve of 2013
>I have made an actual friend out there too named Spencer and he suggest we become roommates once my first year is over, so I don't have to live in the dorms and eat cafeteria food
>I have a tough time with the decision to either stay in oregon with him or move back to colorado, I've already applied to a similar school there and they already said I was accepted
>I almost turn him down but call my mom and ask her for her advice first
>She tells me to stay in oregon, and to not work my future around one woman and to focus on myself
>i take her advice and I stay and decide I will just keep the Long distance relationship going
>I move in with spencer and we become better friends over the first few months we live together
>finally i decide to get a job so i can have some extra cash outside of my financial aid
>this is the part where I cant give many specifics, but I worked with mentally handicapped people and basically had to clean them, feed them, and help them with other day to day activities
>hate the job and almost quit, (19 at this point btw) when a woman there (my assistant manager) catches my eye
>we start flirting and hit it off and eventually we make out
>I break up with my girlfriend immediately and decide i don't wanna only have sex with one person my entire life, i want to have fun and discover myself
Continued
>>
>>26400619
If you didn't hate me yet, this next part won't help
> we start going out instead and after 2 weeks of sex in what was an agreed friends with benefits relationship she tells me she loves me
>i dont feel the same way but no idea what else to say so i just say it back so she doesnt feel bad
>this woman is 36 years old and has 3 kids, one of them only 4 years younger than me
>not trying to be their dad and figure I wont be around long
>she starts inviting me over to smoke weed and I accept happily because it meant getting laid + stoned and a good time
>smokes weed with me sometimes her second oldest would join in (15)
>didnt think it was a good idea but figured i wouldnt ever get in any sort of trouble for it
>decide smoking weed and having sex is way more fun than going to college and I promptly stop going and drop out
>keep smoking weed and start fighting with my roommate over everything, usually my own fault for shit but i didnt want to take the blame
>move into my own apartment and keep smoking weed
>call in to work for about 4 days in a row and finally they ask for a doctors note, i tell them i cant get one and they said i really need to otherwise due to company procedure they have to fire me
>of course i wasnt really sick i just was lying around playing dark souls and smoking weed
>lose my job and panic as all of my money dries up, i've spent it all on weed and cigarettes
>call my sister who has been doing the same path i was only 10x worse with coke that works as a stripper, she makes tons of money she tells me
>she offers to give me money but asks that i come down there to see her so she can talk to me and help me with my problems
>agree and i go down to see her
>my "party life" pales in comparison to hers
>she snorts coke, has 40+ year old man coming over all the time and has strangers coming in and out of her house almost all day long
> she renegades on giving me help after spending all her money on coke
Continued
>>
>>26400759
I only get worse before I get better
>come to the realization that I have virtually nothing and that nobody i know really cares about me
>write a suicide note on a paper towel (couldnt find paper) and steal my sisters gun
>hop into her bath tub and try to shoot myself when sister tackles me and wrestles me for the gun
>dont try to fire it when i see her lunging for me because i dont want to kill her by accident
>police come and lock me in cuffs and drive me to a psychologist who will determine whether or not i go to a mental hospital for treatment or if i'm just high and need to be locked up for a night to clean up
>tell them its my life, and I should have the right to kill myself if I really want and it's not really any of their business
>they decide mental hospital and send me straight there
>try to call my mom and she tells me I am a monster and she wants nothing to do with me anymore
>neither sister will talk to me while i'm there
>cry and try to think of ways to kill myself in the mental hospital but almost constant supervision and even asleep they check on you every few minutes to make sure you aren't trying to hang yourself with the bed sheets
>try to crush my head under a cupboard but realize it's bolted to the floor
>as i'm sobbing on the ground i start thinking about my life and realize i'm only there because of the choices i made
>that i can fix everything wrong in my life if i pull myself up, and it doesnt matter if anyone i know talks to me or not, i am used to having nobody to talk to
>after a couple of weeks they decide i am healthy enough to leave
>make my way back to oregon, i've nearly lost the apartment but my sister helps me out at the last minute and i apply for a job at of all places, the post office
>they accept me after I destroy the mind numbingly easy test and tell me my training and job starts in a month
>as this happens my girlfriend gets a call from police
Continued
>>
File: bateman.jpg (60KB, 500x401px) Image search: [Google]
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Nice blog post. But im still amused. Go on...
>>
>>26400889
>her daughter we smoked weed with told her dad everything (except about me) and the police want to speak with my girlfriend
>she goes in to talk to them and they charge her with a class A felony delivery of MJ to a minor
>she is in panic mode and i decide now is a good time to cut my losses and completely isolate myself
>the day before i was going to break up with her i'm in my apartment smoking weed of course when i get a knock at the door
>panic thinking its my landlord and wait it out
>"OP, we have a warrant for your arrest, come out now"
>I just put on my clothes and actually wonder what they are there about and open the door
>sure enough its 6 cops and they put me in cuffs, throw me in the back of a cop car and haul me off to the county jail without saying anything to me
>they take my clothes, i grab my ankles and they stare into my asshole for drugs and weapons and throw me in a cell for 2 and a half days
>then i went before a judge where i learned why i was there, charged with the same crime as my girlfriend
>given an 80,000 dollar bail that my family has no chance of paying even if they wanted to
>apply for the free lawyer and he bails on a conflict of interest that to this day i still dont know anything about
>second lawyer meets with me just to tell me he knows im in there
>finally gets me out after a month of being in jail
>have lost my apartment for good this time, girlfriend moved all my things to her house out of guilt for me going to jail
>live not at her house, but at her moms house with girlfriend and her oldest daughter (youngest 2 are her ex husbands, including the one that told him about smoking weed)
>not guilty or innocent yet, just charged and awaiting trials that get pushed back and pushed back
>try working at the post office, they find out about me being charged with the felony and fire me
>at least they looked like they didnt want to
>search for a job again and finally find one delivering pizzas
Only a couple more
>>
>>26401034
>during all my court stuff come to realize I actually enjoy all the proceedings and watching my lawyer work and ask him if i can help
>he gives me the discovery (if you dont know, it's basically all the evidence the prosecution has against you for the case that the defense receives before the trial)
> find out the reason i was arrested and charged in the first place was because girlfriend ratted me out for a better deal
> decide that i would have done the same thing and decide that i will just keep trying to move on with my life and not let this get to me
> court stuff settles and i get a class c felony, with possible expungement if i stay out of trouble and follow the rules of my 2 year probation
> do well in treatment (they made me, i didnt say i was addicted to weed)
> during treatment come to terms with the fact that all of this was just the results of the choices i had made and that i just made all the wrong ones, and that i should feel bad
>use my guilt as motivation to keep going in life and get offered a promotion at work that i turn down since i would technically make less money
>become model employee (not saying much it is a pizza place)
>get a new car after my old one breaks and finally get my own apartment again
>had to get a roommate so any landlords would agree to let me in, picked a 19 y/o kid still living at his moms house that i worked with because he was basically just like i was, a lonely awkward beta with no social skills
>and he didnt smoke weed or drugs so i didnt have to worry about getting in trouble with my PO
>things have been going fine since until a couple nights ago i caught him in the bathroom of our apartment smoking weed
>yell at him and he cries, too terrified of me now he hasnt come home since and is still at his moms house
> not sure what to do
Thanks for reading if anyone is still here, if curious I still deliver pizza and I plan on starting school in september.
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>>26400759
reneges*
>>
>>26401196
Fuck. I really want to hate you you, OP.


You should apologize to the kid. Let him know you've had problems with weed in the past (don't go too far into detail) and ask he keeps it out.

Don't ruin your second chance.
>>
>>26401398
Well the thing is, he already knew everything. The whole reason I yelled at him is because I'd told him many times that he couldn't smoke weed there and if he was going to, to do it somewhere else.
>>
You have my utmost gratitude for sharing your life story OP. Not my sympathy though. Hope that the coitus with the MILF was worth a jail sentence.
>>
Had weed problems myself, literally people In and out of my house all the time, although probably not for the same reason as your sister but hey, I'm sure you can relate. People used my house for weed so they didn't have to worry about the police or the people around here. IMO shouting at him will only make the problem worse and at my age (18) people are bound to try new things, trying to stop him completely may even make the problem worse. Maybe try and come to some of agreement that you would feel comfortable with? He needs to discover himself that there aren't that many benefits to smoking, apart from just feeling good. Moderation is key. Rather than explaining all the bad shit, try teaching him what you have learned and maybe he will relate. As for you I wouldn't wish this on anyone and good luck with the starting school in September, seems as if you're a motivated person. Good luck man, wish you the best anon.
>>
cool story desu senpai
Thread posts: 15
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