what is sex like robots? realistically at age 36 now, having

>>26054637
>the chances of me ever actually losing my virginity are powerball tier levels

No they aren't. Pay a few hundred bucks and the mystery can disappear. Alternatively, go to a bar, drink a little and seduce an ugly woman.

>>26054699
I've tried calling an escort service before but i got so nervous i ended up hanging up. and any amount of alcohol makes me sick.

>>26054699
>implying the drunk robot wouldn't just sob into a corner until he passed out

>>26054722
Try benzos same effect but no stomachs probnlems

>>26054722
try again, dont hang up.

>>26054637
But eh sex is OK drugs are better before I wound up fuckin a fatty I decided I would just do heroin its probably better than sex. After fucking said fatty I still wanna try heroin because my life still sucks

>>26054637
Have you gained power over the ethereal realm?

Can you banish souls to another plane of existence?

>>26054637
dude what the fuck. most normal people and fuck even most robots have strong driving urges that provide purpose to their existence and the first two are always (in this order): 1)Stay alive 2)Have sex as often as possible unless it interferes with objective #1

If for whatever reason you don't have an incredibly strong urge to have sex, there is a medical problem. Go to a doctor. It's not fucking normal, it's treatable, you should treat it.

Fuck this board man. I'm sorry for coming here expecting to find awkward, social anxiety, slightly unattractive, but 10% normal people. I should've known how truly bad all of you are. Unless it's all one big troll. In which case, I tip to you.

>>26054722
Take a vacation in a country where you can easily go to a prostitute. Like Germany or Thailand.

File: 1453279236654.jpg (204KB, 900x576px) Image search: [Google]

204KB, 900x576px

Cumming bareback inside of a hot girl is one of the best feels I've ever experienced

>>26054637
>what is sex like robots?

awkward, sweaty, often not very fun at all, kind of a chore really

but occasionally it's the most meaningful experience you'll ever have

>>26054842
Wizard meme faggots need to fuck off. You aren't helping. People need help, not mockery, especially when it's such an easily treatable thing.

>>26054869
>especially when it's such an easily treatable thing

Oh yes. Tell me how decades of social ineptitude and conditioning can be undone at the drop of a hat.

>>26054845
>strong urge for sex = ability to have sex
>other people getting sex = robots getting sex
Pretty great survivorship bias you got going on.

>>26054887
>Tell me how decades of social ineptitude and conditioning can be undone at the drop of a hat.

1) get a job

2) get a gf

3) get over yourself

>>26054887
Yes, undoing those things can take years of therapy, but putting benis in bagina does not.

>>26054905
>1) get a job
>2) get a gf
>3) get over yourself

wow
so obvious
such magic

Hint: Notice how I used an overused, shitty meme to reply to your overused, shitty advice? METAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>26054908
Social anxiety would reduce me to a blathering buffoon in seconds.

They would probably just sit there texting on their phone while I freaked out, take my money, and leave.

If I were in your position I would hire as many hookers as possible (decent ones, not drug addicts). Also hire them to talk and go out for coffee and walks. I would treat it like a job. You will spaghetti everywhere the first few times but just be up front about it (I'm nervous) and don't try and be cool. You need to jump off the cliff, rip the bandage off, force yourself through it. After many many girls, you can then graduate to tinder or dating sites.

>>26054972
Because its the truth. Get off your sorry ass and change things by yourself, for yourself you soft fucking cunt.

Also, being inside of a woman is probably the best feeling you can get in this life.

>>26055134
>CHANGE
>YES YOU CAN
Yeah, boy, let me tell ya how that worked out for this guy.

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/3n7zqs/as_of_today_i_have_been_rejected_1000_times/?sort=top
>manlet approaches nearly a 1000 women over the course of 5 years
>rejected each time
>posts his problem on reddit in a confession sub for sympathy and advice
>gets brigaded so hard he gets banned

Top comments
>desperation is a stinky cologne and people can't smell their own
>Nobody wants to date the guy that asks a girl out almost every single day for three years!
>Dude you're a creep. Learn how to make people feel comfortable around you (ladies and gentlemen) and then you might have a chance to connect with someone before your creepy vibe sends them running for the hills. Relationships are built one step at a time, and if you try to run toward the top of the stairwell without doing the lower ones first it's no longer a step, but a wall you're running into.
>A girlfriend isn't something you "get." Love is not something you find. You can't go looking for these things like you're going to a grocery store. These are events. These are things that happen over the course of time.
>Looks arent everything... I have been with guys who were just simply charming. They didnt even ask me out, they made ME want to ask THEM out lol. There is nothing wrong with short and unattractive
>Female here. Based on what you've said I would steer clear of you if I knew you and was single. Desperation is really unattractive.
>Dude, stop counting and just be.

>Also, being inside of a woman is probably the best feeling you can get in this life.
If I was that much of a hedonist, I'd have already OD'd by now.

>>26054972

so what's your alternative plan?

stay poor, lonely, and totally absorbed in your misery forever?

good luck with that shit lol

>>26055381
Nah, just watch anime and leech off society.

>>26055134
Normie propaganda. Ignore.

>>26055255
Goddamn this post really makes my blood boil. women who never had to approach anyone and have relationships and sex served to them on a silver platter dare judge an unfurtunate man for simply trying.

>>26055510
Goddamn this post really makes my blood boil. Guys ask for advice on what they are doing wrong then chuck a hissy fit when they get the advice.

>>26055771
advice on dating given by women is as valueable as advice on growing bread given by an aristocrat.

>>26056007
>advice on growing bread given by an aristocrat.

this is some disability-level autism.

>>26055255
reddit is worse then i thought

>>26056055
any actual argument or are you going for the reddit type 'refutation'?

>>26056130

what argument? you said some laughably retarded shit and I'm pointing it out. it doesn't get any more complicated than that. I'm insulting you, you dumb fucker.

if you think there's an argument happening here, congratulations, you have autism!

sex is so fucking overrated holy shit

it's good, just like lots of things in life are good but it's not the be all and end all. the worst thing is that the majority of sex you are going to have is going to be with someone you "care" about and you can't just leave after sex, you have to actually put up with that person for the majority of the time that you are awake, and even in your sleep.

get over it, if you want to have sex, either pay for it or have one night stands with women you know are in your league, just always wear a condom.

>>26056159
again with le leddit autism. if you had half a brain you would get why comparing women and aristocrats in that context is applicable. Sorry m8 you won't get upboated here