Who here has transitioned from socially anxious, shy, to confident

>>26036870
I have. It took about 4 years to get the hang of it. It's just nonstop persistence; I'm still even learning now. There really isn't a set point it happens, your charisma just gradually increases.

>>26036918
I thought about trying to boost my self esteem by approaching girls I thought were attracted to me. So I posted on /adv/ for some advice and everyone called me a creep and and told me to not approach any woman.

>>26036918
>It took about 4 years
fuck

are there no shortcuts even if all I want is to not give a fuck what people think, don't even care if I can hold a conversation or not

>nonstop persistence
what exactly did you do though

>>26036870
The problem is that I'm autistic confident, that's confidence that just turns people away.

Different guy here, it took about 4 years for me as well, starting at high school graduation. It just takes experience and going through friendships and relationships. It takes a few fuck ups and horrible anxiety to persevere and realize that nothing is that bad or deserving of your anxiety. I ended up enlisting in the Marines after my third year of college and that's been great.

>>26037091
were you born autistic confident?

>>26036870
Me when I become hypomanic. It's amazing to instantly become a Chad who has no fear.

>>26037143
I was actually born autistic, that I'm confident of.

>>26036870
Start showering daily
Get a nice haircut
Dress nicely
Be humorous

>>26036870
>already "cute" by most girls standard
>zero confidence
>zero social skills
>tons of anxiety
>diagnosed burgers

I've been lifting for about 2 weeks so maybe that would help with the confidence part.

>>26036870
>>how did it happen? what did you do?

conditioning plus started seeing social situations in a different light. I used to hold myself back from talking to girls due to fears of what they might think about me or that I might seem "awkward." Now I see those kinds of situations as opportunities where I have nothing to lose. I'm now extremely confident and outgoing, and girls LIKE me for it.

Can't be bothered explaining everything on r9k though.

>>26037131
were there any key fuck ups you remember that had a noticeable and immediate effect? or is it all over the long term.

>>26037155
that's some condition you have, you don't do anything to induce it?

>>26037197
If a girl says to you that you're cute, she's not referring to your looks.. Sorry anon.

I started to understand people better. When I did, I realized why they think as they do and many of the reasons they come to their conclusions are invalid. So I stopped caring.

I do care when people's judgment is based on fair ground, though. If I ever talked to people that is.

God, I just wish I had some RL friends

>>26036998
Why do you need anyone's approval for what you want to do? Here's a tip: just talk to anyone and everyone first. Mind you, you'll get stung by being shut down or possibly ridiculed, but fuck them. Stay away from any form of electronic communication and just use face-to-face interaction. Again, understand that you WILL fail. If you go in knowing you're going to immediately fail, you stop applying so much pressure. Just don't look for validation outside of yourself.

>>26037070
No, there are no shortcuts.

What I did was just started off small. On days that I felt, "I gotta turn this franchise around," I'd go up to a random girl that I saw after observing her (for probably 5 seconds), then compliment her on something small. Not eyes, hair, etc. but more like jewelry, eyebrows, smile. Example: "Hey, I usually don't give too many compliments but I just wanted to say that necklace looks great on you. It brings out the color in your eyes. Have a great day!" (Also, no one is going to be a dickhead if you're paying a compliment.) Then I'd be on my way. After awhile, I'd start trying to strike up conversations. The point is to be as sincere as possible. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Once you start getting positive feedback, you'll realize that most people are reactionary. When you get comfortable enough doing this, you can start being super fucking goofy and no one will care. When they sense the smallest incongruence between your actions and thoughts (e.g. doing something you're not confident about), you can "sense" that they feel uncomfortable.

Again, it just takes time. Think global, act local. If you see what kind of person you want to be, start working on that piece by piece.

>>26037177
I shower daily
Have a reasonable haircut, I guess not super fashionable though
Dress reasonably, but not /fa/

Improving all those areas increases confidence certainly, but to be humorous when I can barely converse is a bit of a leap.

>>26037249
>I started to understand people better. When I did, I realized why they think as they do and many of the reasons they come to their conclusions are invalid

How exactly did you come to understand/accept this though? I mean, it seems easy to realise that people are superficial and most don't even care what other people are doing or look like... But actually believing that sort of thing enough that you yourself stop caring?

>>26037220
Well then what the fuck do they mean?


Bloxblox

>>26037318
What can I say. I just realized a lot of their thinking/ feeling is childish or petty in nature- Nothing to care about. Like when someone says you're dumb because 1+1 = 5. Just no, does not compute. I can't take something personally when it's not rooted in a valid world view.

There are people who are not, though, and I wish I had few friendships like that. But I still have a inferiority complex and don't want to inflict myself on others. Yes, I know that's gay. Also drunk.

People are generally insecure and I usually "see through" them. I tend to stay at home alone, though.

i became able to drink alcohol

>>26037405
That's a great attitude to have.

>>26037440
does getting drunk enough and doing things when drunk give lasting improvement when you are sober again?

Drugs freed me from my social anxiety.

Never in public without getting fucked up on stims or benzos at the least.

do drugs op

>>26037518
>Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
Nobody listen to this is pile of human trash, she has more problems than anyone else here combined.

Doing drugs will make you end up like her.

>>26037518
benzos make me fall over / sleep

stims are scary and feel like an adrenaline shot

did you try both at once? does it have lasting impact when not on them?

>>26036870
It took awhile but I finally came full circle. For the longest time I always had social problems. I never felt comfortable being around anyone and was always extremely paranoid. I could never get the thought out of my head that everyone everywhere was judging and talking about me that eventually I stopped being around people and staying inside all the time.

I was like this for awhile and started becoming really angry and bitter. Then I'm not really sure what happened, but the anger I felt towards people and society in general just vanished. In its place nothing really replaced it. It was just a feeling of content. The things that used to make me angry no longer bothered me. All the screenshots of stupid things people have done on this site no longer affect me the way they used to.

I've come to terms with that's just how society is. There's no point in living with all that anger. I've always felt disconnected from society because I could never see it the way others do or understand it. Now I've just accepted this is the way things are. I feel more like a stranger looking in than anything and this gave me the ability to actually talk with people and not care what others think. None of it really means anything to me and given the choice I will always choose to be alone rather than with other people, but now I have the ability to fit in if I need to.

tldr: I came to accept I was an outlier in society and am no longer driven or act on what normies use to drive themselves, like sex or acceptance. I just be how I want and it seems to work.

>>26036870
I still have that shyness, but
>take classes that involve critical thought, more formal arguments and logic
>tend to have opinions on things
>speak up and iterate clearly
>all eyes are on me
>yeah you know you like it when I put up an impromptu argument
>you filthy slut normies you love every second of it
also I've been weightlifting in the new year and I'm feeling a lot less stressed because of it.
I think I might really be making some strides this year

>>26037595
I would love to be like that.

I've never reached the point of anger or bitterness though, I just get depressed.

>Have bad things happen to you
>Notice that even the worst thing isn't irreparably bad
>Stop caring about shitty things

That is how I row

I went the other way. I used to be one of the popular kids cause I was funny and had a lot of friends. Now I'm full autism and can't be arsed to talk to anyone and hate any social interactions

who wish they had /friends/ here