ITT: Write the first line of your manifesto. pls no bully FBI

If one thing is remembered about me, it should be that my hand was forced, for I am not a violent individual by nature.

>>25627296
thats good tb h

>>25627215
I will lock you up in a basement and feed you nothing but shrimp and milk until you either kill yourself or survive for 5 years.

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My dream came true in the best way possible, when on january 9th, 2015 I won part of the largest lottery jackpot in history.

The void cannot be filled.

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It was a dark and normie night.

It was apparent after being strong-armed into the employ of the Benedictine Brothers credit agency and that this along with the convenient revelation of having no free will would render the ineluctable necessity that I should become a being of pure contingency.

They will scream "Save us!" and I will softly reply "no"

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It's true he was the most handsome of us all

>>25627549
Why do I think you've been actually planning something?

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It's not my fault, the voices made me do it!

All I wanted was a gosh dang meatball sandwich. I received a meatball on a single slice of white bread. No marinara, no basil, no cheese. My hand was forced.

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

You should not feel sorry that I am dead. You should feel sorry that you are still alive.

I'm not sorry, but you should be.

>>25627424
>2015
fuck

Its 2016.

>>25628057
weak desu senpai

Somebody once told me that the world is gonna roll me.

You have brought this upon yourselves. You will know no life without fear henceforth. Islam is not a religion of peace and it kust be stopped one life at a time.

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No existing ideology is suited to the task of ensuring the human race's survival.

You will all say that I took the coward's way out, but I had the audacity to take action. You will all hide behind the masks of conformity, but I have seen your faces, and we are the same.

I did it - myyyyyyy waaaaaaay

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Here's an actual excerpt of my manifesto!

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To whom it may concern

How I Created An Evil Clone, By Anonymous

Like the decadent times preceding the end of the Roman, we have evolved into an impulsive and immoral society; western civilization will soon be destroyed by its own ego.

Good thing I don't care about society.

You may be wondering why I'm having my ass personally crammed with hummus by the President herself in Guantanamo.

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>>25627215

>I've always been an angry neurotic pervert, and now I'm gonna finally do what I feel like doing, not what you cunts say I should.

>It's going to have to be pretty brutal, you'll all be wishing Britain allowed guns to make it quick.

>This is basically the manifesto, now I'm gonna go knock on my bitch roastie neighbour's door and stamp her to death when she opens it.

>In case I die (I don't plan on dying but still) I love my family, but obviously not enough any more to stop me going on this rampage.

>>25627215
Who do you think you are mon ami
, I know who i am. Meccurial mInds.

I do not aspire to conclude my life with betrayal but with martyrdom

>>25627215
some people just weren't meant to be happy.

I was treated like a monster, so that's what I became.

I've been tired for as long as I can remember

You can find all those missing hookers in the east river at low tide. Also the mc rib I bought on december 18th didn't have a lower bun

Hillary Clinton for president!

Alas, this agony
The emptiness of earthborn pride
Hath stirred my faithful heart
Which guided me to darker paths
Far away from their pestilent ways
Cleansed was I from deceitful grace
Yet put to scorn was I
By those unclean

I shot my baby down by the river or how i learned to not give a shit and love the drugs

>>25628057
Kekd nice reference
>>25628205
Fag>>25628316

With this act I declare the beginning of the Beta Uprising- we shall not stop until tfw no gf is no more.

>>25628482
Is this a vaporwave manifesto?

This wouldn't be a problem with genetically-engineered catgirls.

>>25627549
>Benedictine Brothers credit agency

>>25628482
>Assco

What the fuck are you guys even talking about?

I don't remember when I started feeling so cold and bitter, but it ends today.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws,
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas

-T.S. Eliot

Do you remember the water in that river you used to take me? It was once so clear but it's so muddy now like my heart as I grew up.

By eggman, a real human bean

I honestly couldn't give a fuck about whatever insipid drivel is about to leave your mouth because I am fully prepared to storm your house armed to the teeth with bullets and kill everyone and everything you've ever fucking loved you scumbag.

>>25627215
Some of you guys are alright... Oh hello Mr FBI Man. Wanna give me a gf at least with your brain washing skills from the 60s? I will get off//r9k/ forever if you help me or just get me a job...help me.

>>25628257
Neil rules me

>>25627215
Tonight I will slam, but the jam will not be welcome.

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>>25627215
I always thought i was just a cancerous normie on /r9k/ but everything changed when i realized the true reason i came here day after day was a pathetic desperate attempt to feel better about myself that never really worked.

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>>25633877
>every normie on here btfo

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Sometimes I forget just how edgy this board really is

Nothing will stand in my way. I will finish, what you started.

cant dodge the rodge

This will begin to make things right

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

>>25636207
1. In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

2. All the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds

3. The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

4. The Only Owner (and the Only Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)

5. You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything).

6. Guide us to the Straight Way

7. The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger (such as the Jews), nor of those who went astray (such as the Christians).

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I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE NORMIES WERE PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER

>>25636238
You were my brother anon
It was said that you would destroy the normies, not join them

>>25636238
Alternate:
I don't like women. They're coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere.

He said he would love me forever

>>25636265
I HATE CHAD
REEEEEE

FUCK YOU NORMIES

The end

They should never have said I didn't have it in me, I can do anything.

You need a teacher
I can show you the ways of the robot

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My name is not important. What's important is what I'm going to do...

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Mother I tried please believe me, I'm doing the best that I can; I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through, I'm ashamed of the person I am.

>>25636320
TELL ME THE PASSWORD FOR THE NUCLEAR REACTOR

Now heres a story all about how

>>25636265
>Me as I am about to walk into that cinema screening of some romance movie on valentine's day and cap a 100 couples making out
>my imaginary anime gf runs up to me and says
"You're a good person, don't do this"
I reply
"I won't lose you the way I lost my other waifus (to reality). I am becoming more edgy than any robot has ever dreamed of, and I'm doing it for you. To protect you."

>>25636426
Anon you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path I can't follow.

>>25636330
Do you have more? You seem interesting


originlabloxx

>the first line of your manifesto
Table of Contents:

It all started when I watched the anime Hidamari Sketch for the first time.

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Have the first paragraph instead.

I can't apologise to you all for this because I believe it was the right thing to do and that the costs were necessary; that said, I acknowledge that a great deal of suffering will have been created by my actions and I am not so detached from the real world as to think that any level of sympathy or understanding will be inspired in you by anything that I write. I imagine that you feel strongly about me and I accept those feelings as well-founded and genuine. The purpose of this manifesto is to give you what closure that I can provide. It is not my intention to patronise or belittle you and I am not setting out to evangalise my politics or whinge about my life but I will not be surprised if it comes across that way because I am not a particularly good writer. As much as you are able please keep in mind that I am writing now in good faith and in the hope that this manifesto will be of use to you and that you will get out of this whatever you are trying to get out of it, whether it be an explanation for my actions or an understanding of my character. In this manifesto I will outline a brief history of my life and moments that I consider were important, or that you may find relevant, which I will explore in further detail. I will then outline some of my core political beliefs and why I believe them. Once these two things are accomplished I will relate the one to the other and explain how my life and my beliefs have led me to make the choice that I made to go out and kill people and cause pain to others. I will attempt to put this in the context I believe that it belongs in, which will form part of my justification for my actions. Also contained in this file is a message to my family and friends which I hope will be edited out if this manifesto is publicized though obviously I have very little control over that. Finally, I will close with my hopes for the future.

>>25636520
But if you could just see the beauty, these things I could never describe. These pleasures a wayward distraction, this is my one lucky prize. Isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation.

I'm not interesting, trust me. It's from a song, you might enjoy it http://youtube.com/watch?v=7Mz5AEgE24o

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>>25636854
Damn, bro. You wanna give us a word count or something on that?

>how many words/pages/etc. do you currently have
And
>how many words/pages/etc. do you plan on having when it's finished

You can google "word counter free" if you need. I am genuinely curious about the sizes of these manifesti. This guy >>25636568 is apparently making a fucking novel...

>>25637367
What you see is what's there, brosef. I don't have a manifesto, I just like creative writing.

>>25637381
Shit, seriously? That was pretty impressive. I wish I were as good as you are.