Hypothetical suicide notes.

>>24075164
>Ya'll are some characters.

>>24075164

all i asked for was a gentle femegg
now i will jump off the cliff

goodbye s e [f] n [a] p [m] a i

Why do people feel the need to write a suicide note? I already know how ill be offing myself and feel no desire to write suicide bullshit notes

I an heroed for the lulz

I dont want to be part of this human club anymore. I went to make my own club but youll never find me so dont look

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I wont leave one

but if dont get the chance to kill myself the way i want to, then ill just leave a note saying no funeral

>>24075164

I would keep em thinking with this riddle:

what is the mind?
> oh, not matter.....

what is matter?
>ahh, umm... never mind

~PTcruiser

>>24075164
I totally meant to do that!

Hey Bun
I love you so much, do you know that? I'm so sorry for doing this.
I know you tried really hard to fix me, and I really do appreciate that. I wish I could have done better for you.
You really are an angel. I meant it when I said you were the thing I'd been wishing for my whole life.
I think I just was never meant to be here.
I know you'll find someone better, and she'll be so loving and kind and warm and give you that cute little two children family that's going to make you smile every day. I want you to know that it's okay with me, for you to fall in love again.
I'm sorry I'm hurting you like this.
I love you.

Hey Boss
Probably you weren't expecting me to write anything to you, but I wanted to say thank you for giving me a chance, and being so kind to me, even when I was kind of lazy and an idiot.
Thank you.

Hey friend
I guess it's been a while since we hung out, huh? Probably you don't think of me really as a friend anymore, just someone you used to know. Thanks for offering to hang out with me on my birthday. Sorry I made you take the day off for nothing.
You're a good person, and I hope you two end up together.

Hey other friend
Good luck with your life. You'll do great, you know? I always really admired you. You're so put together, and definitely one of the smartest people I know, considering the whole 'alternative' thing.

Hey autistic high school friend
Don't you dare write shit about you dick
you're going to try to write something out of me dying and get money out of it
fuck you, dicklet.

Hey brother
Sorry pal. I want you to know that I always appreciated you as a sibling. Thanks for all those times you stood up for me. I'm sorry for the times I yelled at you, so I hope you can remember the times we watched dumb movies on netflix and ate cold fast food together instead.

Hey again bun.
Of course I had to put you both first and last.
I love you i love you i love you
god i'm going to miss you and i'm so sorry.
I love you.

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>>24075278
More like pt loser if you ask me...

Guess I would just tell my family that it's not their fault and that despite not being able to help me anymore now (duh...) they could do me one last favor with not ruining their lives after my suicide but try to enjoy it again after a year of grieving or so.

If I was going to kill myself I wouldn't write a suicide note. The only time I've ever tried offing myself that thought never came to my mind, I just wanted to fucking die and nothing else mattered. I don't have what it takes to an hero in any other state, definitely not in a state calm enough to care about/write a note. If I miraculously did, I would just write 'S M H T B H F A M' with a :^) at the end

>>24075368

desu senpai you can go fuck yourself with that shit

PTcruiser is my actual nickname (weird shaped nose, name stuck)

Trust me, you'll be happier and better off for this.

Sorry for making you deal with this. Hopefully I'll see you later if there's anything after this.

Goodbye. Love you.

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Just a few heartfelt apologies and a brief explanation. Nothing fancy.

>>24075164
Dear world,
You win.

sincerely,
fd43fbedbc8be95ff770083150be9cb9

I regret nothing. piaf style

>>24075447
Why doesn't this image load

I have been living a double life. For years I was the consort of a very elderly closeted gay man. He was very wealthy, and left me the bulk of his estate.

These millions, I converted into gold coins, and hit them in a number of stockpiles around the state.

Let the hunt begin. The first clue is encoded in the books and papers you find around me. Be careful what you disturb, lest you destroy a vital clue.

>>24075164
Why would I write one, I'm not giving anyone the satisfaction of knowing what caused my death. Motherfuckers can figure it out on their own after I'm long gone. Plus your killing yourselves, there's literally 0 reasons to make one unless your just crying for attention.

>>24075164
I don't think I'd leave a note. What good is it gonna do? It doesn't give me closure and certainly wouldn't give my family any closure either.

>>24075511
>>24075602
Posts like this are how you can tell someone is just going through 'an r9k phase' rather than actually being like us. Anybody that hasn't composed their own suicide note in their head at least once doesn't belong here. They do help with closure and they are important.

>>24075511
I disagree, personally the only reason I havn't offed myself yet is because my mum would likely follow. Rest of the family doesn't deserve that.

>>24075511
>>24075639
posted too early. No closure & no explanation wouldn't be fair at all

>>24075638
Let's put it this way, I don't think my family would like what I have to say. Further, I don't think they would truly understand what lead to this decision.

I am among that which I longed for. where I go from there, I do not know, but I do know that one day we will be together again. So please, do not fret and live your life, for I now live among the stars.

I am free.

>>24075164
Dear loving wife and kids,

I know it is difficult to accept, but I must kill myself quickly and painlessly to save the world from utter destruction. My sacrifice will finally end this 200 year war against the intergalactic federation seeking to exploit our planet. I know you and the kids will take care of the fortune 500 company just fine by yourselves. I love you all. Please divide my 4 medals of honor, my mansions, and my luxury items amongst yourselves fairly and justly.

-Robot

>>24075164
I'm doing this because high school starts too early in the mornings and I can't take it anymore.

>mfw I'm 23 and I would want my death to accomplish something

I'm offing myself because I don't see my life ever being even decent. Don't blame yourselves for this. Good bye space cowboys.

Loved ones,

I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you, and continue to cause, following my self-inflicted death. I do not expect you to understand the reasons for this, but am not a human, and I was not meant for this world. This is just a dream and soon I will awake.

With all of my heart,

anon

Sorry, everyone. I tried.

>>24075164
If I ever commit suicide, I'm going to do it at the front of a packed movie theater before it starts. This should generate publicity and get people to buy my manifesto.

The happiest moments in my life were as a child, cozily sitting and watching tv, or skiing with him in the mountains. Lately, we have grown distant as no fault of his. I have become needlessly busy, and while I have the desire to contribute to science, I constantly doubt my ability to do so.

I know there are many people who will be saddened by what I've done: friends who have watched me overcome my trials; The occasional girl who took an interest in me; Family members who saw me a few times at events like birthdays and, ironically enough, funerals.

But the person whom I feel I disappoint the most with this act is you, Dad.

Sorry, I just couldn't stop this... bizarre feeling that I need to die. This voice that keeps telling me to kill myself which I know is my own shouted out my will to keep going. Work to help others like me, if you must make my death meaningful.

I'd just try my best to absolve everyone I know of blame. No point in making any else feel bad even if they might deserve it.