>mfw my mom says ill get a gf some day

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>my sister makes an awkward "joke" about me being the first having a kid
>no one from the family laughs because they know it will never happen

at least my parents know they fucked up royally by breeding and bringing me into life and don't pester me with shit like that

>Mom asks me if I get a lot of attention from girls at school because I'm so cute and charming.
>I tell her that girls aren't interested in me
>She says she's sure some are, I'll find a girl to make me happy etc.

Thanks Mom.

>>24052448
>>24052515
women are so fucking selfish, even when reality hits them in the face they can't admit they are shit and have produced a shit child as well

>>24052546

I mean I'm doing pretty successfully in school, I just haven't had any notable interactions with women. It doesn't help that the times I'm most charismatic and cheerful are when I'm visiting home from college, so it gives the impression that I'm like that all the time.

>>24052515
It's been a while since my mom said something like that now, maybe she's stopped lying to herself.
My dad has never mentioned girls to me.

>>24052567
God damn, I'm in a very similar situation. Doing well in a stem degree, but women don't give a fuck about me because I don't have money yet. Whenever I go home, I spend my time eating good homemade food and smoking weed with high school friends, so I'm generally happy. But when I'm at school i'm depressed as fuck, and my parents are clueless.

It's better this way.

>>24052695

Sorry to break it to you bro, but college girls don't care about how much money you have. I have a friend with decent looks, but he is very outgoing and he gets tons of pussy. He's doing a STEM degree too and won't make money for like 5 more years at least (med school).

>>24052819
Trust me I'm aware that college girls don't give a fuck about money. I was referring more to when I'm nearing 30 and desperate used-up cumrags will come crawling, trying to con me into taking care of their 5 half-nigger children.

>>24052448
>mfw my mom tells me I'm good looking
>mfw no one else has ever told me that

and when i finally lost my virginity my mom had to ask if it was a hooker

>>24052869
That's a meme, even then they went stoop so low as to even entertain being with you.

>>24052880
post pictures, i will tell you that you're handsome

>and when i finally lost my virginity my mom had to ask if it was a hooker
you have great mom, senpai

>>24052869
Maybe your excessive paranoia and negativity are part of the problem. You probably look like a school shooter and spend too much time on the internet

>>24052448
my mom thinks any girl talking to me is my gf

my dad had trouble with girls so he never asks anything

my brother is just as bad with girls as i am, we even had a convo recently about how neither of us know where to meet girls

not that bad desu

>>24053052
exactly the same as me to be honest kinfolk, right down to the individuals.

>>24052869

Damn dude you sound like a catch can't imagine why girls aren't into u s-m-d-h lol

>>24053000
You're more right than I'd like to admit.

>>24053088
Obviously I don't voice these opinions when I'm in public, but you can't argue that the scenario I mentioned isn't common. Am I supposed to just ignore the truth?

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>>24053113
The scenario that you mentioned isn't common.

>>24053065
that is cray cray senpai, i feel like i am a malcolm in the middle character tho to be truthful relative

>>24053146
Yeah, at least we don't have a Chad and Stace for a mum and dad ridiculing us for being robots. Feels chill desu.

>>24053136
You don't think that women lower their physical standards and start seeking money and stability once their looks diminish and they lose their competitive edge in the dating game?

>>24052880
Was it a hooker?

>>24053203
Women don't have physical standards from the start, senpai.

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>Any woman will be lucky to have a man as loving and funny as you
My poor ma has been in denial for the last 23 years

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>mfw the family stopped asking

>>24052448
>mfw I have nobody to tell me that because mom died when i was 6 years old

where do you live OP? be my bf

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>they stopped asking 10 years ago
>dad never asked if I was going to get a gf

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I've been ugly and extremely skinny my whole life, nobody even joked about me having a gf

>>24052515
>>24052546
my mom never said anything like that
so you can imagine how bad it is

>>24052869
>>24052869
You sound like you have a very high opinion of yourself. Maybe that's a deterrent as well.

>>24052448
Who /takentheblackpill/ here?

>>24053406
Sweden. Are you a real girl?

>>24053500
I've heard about it but I assume it's faggotry since it's by a non-virgin tripfag

>>24053299
Maybe they'll start asking if you gonna bring a boy home, and that they wouldnt care if you were gay.

Yeah, my mom always said stuff like that. Though her excessive, enthusiastic interest in the one (and only) purple-headed nympho girl I did bring home to fuck was quite embarrassing, and I'm fairly certain my father was actively trying to cockblock me because he wants me to fail. But I doubt it's personal. He realizes he will be deservedly divorced and kicked out if I move out. Isn't it a fun feel to know your presence is the only thing holding a torturous marriage together?

It all makes me very jelly of my friends who have chill parents who practically congratulate their boy for getting his dick wet. Could be worse; some of my friends who live at home have socially conservative parents and would be terrified of making their own mattresses creak.

>>24053731
That has happened to me but that ended too.

>dad asks me if I have a gf yet every time he sees me
>clearly disappointed when I say no

>>24052448

> tfw mummy says I can't have opinions on women because I'm a virgin :-(

On a serious note a part from hating most people and being in crowds. Finding a girl who dosent have a shit personality/ isn't ugly/ isn't a whore seems almost impossible.

Finding a girl I can repsect hasn't been easy.

Autismo doesn't help

>>24052515
>mfw my mom keeps telling me I'm a catch too
>mfw no face
Why do this. Its making it worse

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text here because the bot demands one

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>>24053989
iktf my mother kinda realised that when I was checking out women when I was with her she literally said "Thank god" "I thought you were gay or something"

>"Oh I'm sure you'll find a girlfriend anon!"
>sitting in my room watching korean drama cartoons all day long
>25 yo

Sure, mom.

>>24054837
your mother needs to check her gosh darn privilege

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>>24052448
During the summer my mum asked me indirectly if I was gay because the son of one of her friends came out.

God, I hate women so much, I honestly wish I was gay.

why can't I just be attracted to dicks

All kinds of different people asked me if I have children/when I will have children because apparently look like a dad or something. It's really weird.

>>24055832
Dicks are an acquired taste. Also 4chan has dicks in it. After being on here for a while you can't not be attracted to them.

>>24052476
>be 12
>uncle makes joke about like "who knows, anon, you could be the type of guy who gets a girl pregnant at 15"
>24 now
>still never had a gf

> mum says "You'd be a good bet for a young woman, you know!"
thanks mum

>28 yo kv

>>24055872
They're really not, I've been here for 5 years and I'm not attracted to traps or dicks any more than I was the first day.

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>>24052448
>tfw parents think that ugly guys still can get ugly girls

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>>24053600
>Are you a real girl?
Ofcourse.

>>24055832
IKTF
I've had 0 women hit on my but 3 gays make a move on me. If there was a spell or potion to be bent, I'd take it in a heart beat

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>when your mom won't stop asking if you're gay

>>24056091
>Unfortunately not mom. It would make sucking cock so much easier.

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>>24052448
>"Hey Anon, we should go somewhere where prostitution is legal for vacation so you can actually feel a couple of real tits."
Fuck you mom.

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>>24056091
I get the old
>You know I'd still love you if you were gay
about once a week or so

>>24053697
>not loving eggking
pls get out

>>24056007
ugly guys can get attractive girls if they are charming, your parents just need to come to terms with creating a social retard.

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my mum kept asking me if I had a gf, even asking if I was gay.

I finally flipped out and told her she better not fucking ask that question ever again while death staring her down. She cried.

She hasn't asked me since.

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>>24056180
That is exactly what she says.

Fuck my shit up senpai

>>24056253
>ugly guys can get average gfs if they are loud, dominant, charismatic, extremely extroverted, and a social butterfly
FTFY

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My mom would say the same thing
>Don't worry anon, you will find a girl in college
>graduate college
>Don't worry anon, you will find a girl at work
>now a NEET

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>>24056176
Bantz M80 :3 XD

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>mom has been a stripper/whore her whole life just because she likes sex
>tried raising me to be a Chad
>gave me a box of condoms for Christmas when I was 12
>always hated sex because of her, I don't want physical intimacy because I've watched her be addicted to it and make shit decisions so she can fuck my whole life
>I'm not really interested in either gender as a result
>senior year of HS she told me I had to go to Prom and have a date or else she'd kick me out of the house
>I explained the situation to 5 different girls I knew, they all said no because "no mother would do that and you're obviously lying, you freak"
>known as that weird kid who tries to manipulate girls into dating him for the rest of the year
>didn't get a date
>mom tells everyone I'm mentally handicapped now and actually believes it and this is the only reason I have a home

>>24056091

I feel weird when asked about that, I do like dicks but I'm not physically or romantically attracted to dudes like I am with woman.

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>>24056569
Glad I don't know that feel

>>24054752
>woman has sex once
>instantly becomes hideous
Uh...

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>>24056840
dude, women fucking melt

When their 18 to 26 even a weird looking girls has an angle in which she looks hot, after that 90% of all the women you see melt like their made out of clay.
Besides, this obvious my sogie kneestic cartoons uses the "one" chad in the comic as a symbol for a multitude of sexcapades.

>>24056980
But it's not like having sex a lot makes you ugly. It fucks up your vagina, but not your face.

>>24056569
Reminds me of this time I was with my friend driving him to pick up his girl, and her mother turned out to be a TurboSlut 64. Actually lifted her short shorts up to show me her hip ink and rubbed her ass while saying "I like all flavors of men," Was trying pretty damn hard not to laugh my ass off because her daughter looked totally mortified and pissed. Maybe it was a good thing I was at the "Y-you too," stage back then because a slut that forward and that old probably has at least ONE transmissible malady. Then again... pretty damn hot for someone in her 40s. Her daughter was a 9.

>>24056383

It's like a curse.

>>24056182
>non-virgin tripfag
m8 he's the worst kind of cancer

>>24057135
What year was this and what state? That seriously may have been my mom and sister

>>24056840

>once

Is that roaster speak for several miles worth of dick?

>>24053217
That's a lie. Their physical standards aren't as strict as men's but no woman wants to fuck a 300 pound 5'6 neckbeard who looks like his mom dresses him in the morning.

>>24053731
When I was a kid, I'd steal my mom's women's health books and look at the naked women in them. As a preteen, I used to have two girls that lived on my block that would come to my house almost daily asking me to come outside. As a teen, my parents would constantly catch me looking at (straight) porn. Every once in a while, I let something slips out about some girl. But they still ask if I'm gay.

At this point, I think they're just doing it to fuck with me, they know I'm not fucking gay.

>>24057135
Your friend was dating a 9 year old?

>read stories on 4chan from normies who get sex with hot girls
>get homicidally jealous

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>mfw my mom STILL believes that one day she'll have grandchildren

Yeah keep dreaming bitch.

>>24052448
>why don't you have a girlfriend anon?

because I enjoy drinking myself to sleep every night but that's kinda hard when you have someone who cares about you.

>>24057968
quoting my mom btw

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>tfw mom has give up hope

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>tfw my grandmother aks me why I don't have a girlfriend in front of the whole fucking family
>She compliments me, says that i'm really handsome

please stop it oma

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>>24052448
>mom and her friend have been trying to set me up with her friend's daughter for years
>she actually had a crush on me in high school
>too proud to accept a free gf from mom
>also enjoy being alone too much
>mom is crushed every time I reject

>my mother yells at me to stay christian to get a wife with the same values as me
Anyone know where I can get top brand fedoras?

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>mom cant shut the fuck up about how handsome I am
>in reality Im an overweight acne ridden 20 yo KV
why does she have to hurt me so much?

>>24053052
so, your father had problems with girls, but how did he meet your mother?

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>>24058079
i know that feeling
i feel it every fucking time i see her

>>24058634
>acne
You know that's a simple solution, right?

>>24058726
Ive been trying to get rid of it for 5 years. It just comes and goes. It got much better than what it used to be though. Please tell me your secrets

>>24058832
Every time you use the bathroom, wash your hands, then wash your face. Also, try to keep your hands off of your face as much as possible, as they are the number 1 cause for acne.

>>24056980

Its because after 26 their insides are rotten. Biologically they are dead.

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>>24058726
>>acne
>You know that's a simple solution, right?
lmao

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>>24057904

>my parents still think they will get grandkids
>I had a vasectomy years ago

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>>24058079
my grandmother is the same
>have you got a gf yet
>tell me the truth now
in front of my parents, and i'm still pretty young, its going to get really awkward when people are still asking in 10 years time

>>24059017
Keanu Reeves is legit 51?

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Can someone please post the greentext of the guy who was drawing little anime girls as him mother walked in and told him he'll find a cute girl like the one he drew?
I think he posted the girl from geiger counter.

I searched for 20 minutes but can't find it.

>>24058874

This is nonsense. It'll just dry up the skin. Washing twice a day is enough, keeping your bed clothes clean is more important.

The simplest way to get rid of acne is roaccutan but that's pretty hardcore.

>told my dad I'm going to die alone
>he's confused because I'm only 18
>never had any friends, ever
How to deal with delusional parents?

>tfw 25
>tfw parents have stopped mentioning it completely
>last time was two years ago when mom said there are plenty of desperate women online
>sister assumes i'm gay but never brings it up

>>24059111
they're not delusional yet, and you still haven't tasted the real suffering yet, come back when you're 30

>>24059136
How do you know she assumed you're gay if she never brings it up? Besides, in general, I don't get why people assume chasing neither women or men means you're gay,

>>24059191

Well, I can't be 100% sure of course. But I've toyed with the topic in conversations and I presume that's a reason for her to be discreet with me, that is, never making straight questions.

>>24058492
>tfw no one has tried to set me up with a girl

>>24059017
Why did you have a vasectomy?
Are you a normalfag?

>>24057417
Well does she?

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>>24052912
>>24053000
>>24053088
>>24053489


wymn detected. top laugh, roasties please fly away.

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>>24059302
It's not always that great.
>Have feelings for girl
>One day she asks if I want to go to the movies with her
>Be overly happy
>Turns out she brought two friends
>Chad and a landwhale
>Think Chad is a great guy for giving the landwhale a chance
>tfw I realise the landwhale was for me

>>24059464
Every. Single. Freaking. Time.

>>24058696
BETABUX
E
T
A
B
U
X

>>24053411
Asking that puts a bad pressure on your son. It's good he didn't ask that, even if you were extremely attractive, so I don't think it's a reflection on you really.

>>24059498
You actually fell for that shit multiple times? Time to open your eyes kouhai.

>"You need to get a job Anon, you might meet a nice young lady someday, and girls like guys with money"
Not exactly selling them to me, mom.
And thanks for assuming it's that I don't want gf, not that I can't get gf. I guess her seeing my Chad younger brother have a gf from the age of 14, while I never brought a girl home or anything probably doesn't help.
For some reason I've always tried to hide anything to do with girls from my parents. No idea how I'd go about getting a hypothetical gf to meet my parents, I think that's a thing. Maybe it's because they asked loads when I was younger or something, and it put me off. Or the idea that liking a girl is a sign of weakness, because my 'friends' used to make fun of me for asking a girl out when I was 13 and that put me right off.

>>24052546

Mom's aren't supposed to think that anon.

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>GO TO COLLEGE ANON YOU WILL GET A GF
I went to college. Did 4 years. No gf.
>GET A CAR THEN YOU WILL GET A GF
got a car. no gf
>GET A JOB THEN YOU WILL GET A GF
I got a job, mom, now what? still no gf
>ANON YOU NEED TO GO ON ONLINE DATING TO GET A GF
I just say I don't want a gf at this point. I don't want to tell her that I've been on online dating and gotten nowhere.

>>24059782
And you'd still get called entitled for wanting a gf anyway.

>>24059782
Die an hero and get your virgin harem in heaven

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>>24059464
I got lucky, but I fucking pussed out.

>17
>mums bf and his son show up
>they're going to the movies and her bfs son is chad dude who I was cool with
>he mentions that his gf and her friend will be in a different movie and invites me to watch with them
>o-okay
>on the way I for pics of his gfs friend
>qt 3.14
>feel like I can get my mack on
>get there and grab snacks, movie tickets and meet up with his gf and qt
>things seem to be going great, qt is clearly interested in me
>get into theater and sit next to qt
>start getting nervous since this was the first time I had to make a move in my life
>tell her I'm getting popcorn since the movie hasn't started yet
>get popcorn
>take seat next to her again and place it in between us
>20 minutes in she touch my hand
>spill spaghetti and run into bathroom for the rest of the movie
>Chad comes in and asks what's up
>no response
>he leaves and I take a bus home

My mom, her bf, and his son laugh about it whenever it's brought up. I want to kill myself every timeffort I hear chad tell the story.

>>24056677
Definitely respond with this

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>>24052448
>>mfw my mom says ill get a gf some day
yesterday, my sister and my mom said that

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>>24060190
today i try to kill myself,
but if i fail i will have a hangover from the vodka,
but i will still have,
frozen pizza x 2

>>24056569
Why not fuck your mom

>>24057968
>implying women care about anyone
Top laff

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>little bro is 12 years younger than me
>everyone expects him to have kids first

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>tfw your uncle says : it's okay anon, we'll get you an obedient muslim or somalia girl

????

so many things wrong with this but ok

>>24060914
When my dad was drunk he said i had to get a white gf

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>>24060914
>>24061141
>tfw half white and hispanic
>tfw white and hispanic girls are pretty cool
>tfw really, really like black girls
>tfw really, really like asian girls too
>tfw one uncle on both the mexican and white sides of my family has an asian wife, both with no kids
>tfw one is really, really nice, while the other is a complete psycho

>tfw only grandson on the Mexican side, one of the only grandsons on the White side
>my family has said nothing on the subject, but I feel really pressured to get either a White or a Mexican gf

>tfw

>>24056840
Shes ugly in the first frame too. Look at mole and ugo face.

Might as well let my lips pucker like Elton John cuz I'm just a mean cock sucker

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>>24052448
>few friends of my mom come over
>they drink some wine
>i am sitting in my room
>hear them talk about me
>"why doesn't anon have a gf yet? maybe he is gay"
>one of them says that her son doesn't have a gf either
>tells my mom they should hang out sometime
>everyone is laughing

i know alot of people with good statues (good jobs,car, outgoing) that are having a hard time finding a gf

i mean sure they can find "girl friendship" but its really hard for them to find a woman just because the bar has changed so much

>>24052546
Mom aren't suppose to admit they fucked up and had a shitty kid

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>>24061686
Why don't you just fuck your moms friends?

>>24061760
Are they Greek? Italian?

>>24052880
how the fuck did your mom come to ask that?
how did she even know you lost your virginity?

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>be eurofag
>visiting family every year during summer vacation
>"Hey anon, do you have a girl friend yet?"
>"N-no"
>"Im sure you will be a good boyfriend when you will be in a relationship."

What does this even mean? I stopped visiting my family some years ago. It makes me way to depressed to show up as a loser.
The worst part is that I am the oldest boy of my generation and I can feel how the whole family is still hoping for me, only making me more depressed.

>>24056176

kekerz

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>>24056091
>cut my asshole from being dumb and forcing out a hard spiky workout shit
>ask my mom is she has any preparation H because I wasn't sure if it was a hemorrhoid from lifting or a cut
>aggressively says "BECAUSE YOU WERE SHOVING THINGS UP YOUR ASS?"

not even the first time she's suggested I'm gay / doing gay shit

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>>24062610
>Im sure you will be a good boyfriend
That feel

>>24062456
>"hey mom guess what"
>what
>"I fucked a girl"
>....
>".."
>Was it a hooker?

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>tfw my mom tries to make me open dating site account to find gf
>tfw all you see are tumblrdykes and single moms with niglet spawn
>tfw she thinks there's nothing wrong if i go into a relationship and help raise someone else's bastard child

>>24063138
Just goes to show that even your mom is an average woman

>>24058053
Is this you brah?
>>24060914
Did this really happen? Are you caucasian?

>>24062610
Bring home someone insufferable like a tumblrina. They'll tell you to go back to being single like my mom did

File: pepe swole.jpg (30KB, 420x631px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 420x631px

>"anon you're muscles have grown so much! the gym is really paying off"
>"oh im sure girls notice, theyre just too shy :)"

thanks mom

>>24063373
Nah man, I will never attract anybody. Zero personality to begin with and too much of a sperg to improve myself beyond what >>24063411 already does.