>having sex with gf
>she asks if I cummed inside her
>say no
>I actually did
>say 'good moring'
>actually dont care about how good people's morning are
>>23354842
>gf tells me to cum inside her
>fall asleep before I climax
Every time, joke's on her...
>mate drops me off home after a maccas run
>run up at the driveway and fart
>he messages me and asks did I shit myself
>say no
>actually shit myself
>ups man comes
>is this your package
>No
>it really was
>say i am gonna sign a treaty with chamberlain to stop war
>sign it
>don't mean it
>>23355029
F U H R E R
>reply to another anon
>it was just (Me) all along
>have dinner at a fancy restaurant
>waiter is really shitty
>he doesn't deserve a tip
>tip him anyway
>>23354984
>notice a UPS man in front of my neighbor's house
>he's not at home
>the UPS man leaves the package on his doorstep
>make sure the house doesn't have any cameras
>put on a hoody
>steal the package
>post in mischief thread
>don't actually do anything but sit on 4chin all day
>father asks for a glass of sparkling water
>bring him only a class of medium sparkling water
>friends tell me to fuck off
>jokes on them, i knew it was coming all along
>>23355029
M U N I C H
U
N
I
C
H
>purchase luxurious gift
>would you like that gift wrapped sir?
>yes I would
>they wrap it
>thanking you
>I then rip it open
>loudly state this is the worst gift ever
>walk off