Zombie Apocalypse thread!

>>97466
>A: Get dressed (Fighting in your boxers gives you literally no protection)
We are not a girl so we will need protection

>>97466
>C: Rush downstairs and improvise once you see what the problem is
We'll think of something!

>>97483
Im sure we can, but not naked
>A: Get dressed

>>97466
>Get Dressed
Everyone knows that if you fight the undead in boxers you'll die as an example of an unprepared bastard

>>97466
>A

>>97466
>C
Gotta go fast

>A

>>97466
A.
If you're going to die, you gotta do it in STYLE.

I guess OP is dead, this wasn't a quest but him asking for help. Right about now his stats are
>Name: OP
>Occupation: student
>Status: zombie food
>Health: dead
>Clothing: Well dressed thanks to a thread he made on /qst/
>Weapon: none

>>99191
But HOW well-dressed?
If he ruins the fucking suit we gave him I'll kill him irl.

>>99204
Roll a d20 for the quality of OPs clothing

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>99211
He better not be wearing socks and sandals.

File: naruto-sasuke-name-stack-t-shirt-18.jpg (156KB, 1200x1011px) Image search: [Google]

156KB, 1200x1011px

>>99233
Before hurrying downstairs OP searched around his room. He grabbed his favorite Sasuke T-Shirt, cargo shorts with more pockets then he could ever need, striped socks, and his trusty sandals.Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs OP saw his mom being attacked by a zombie

ENTER COMBAT
>Enemies:
>Zombies 1

roll d20 with combat choice

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>99279
Due to having a Pacific Islander family, there are jandals everywhere, allowing for optimal weapon use.

>>99316
You use the ancient jandal combat technique passed down to you to quickly kill the zombie in spectacular fashion. OP checks his mom but there is no pulse.

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: uninfected
Health: Normal
Clothing: Sasukle Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: a jandal in each hand

You are on the bottom floor of your house. There is the dead zombie, your dead mom, many jandals. You mom suddenly twitches.

Whats do you do? roll d20

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>99400
Hit your mom with the jandals. It must be done.

>>99422
You slap your zombie mom with the jandals, but she is super pissed now. She bites your outstretched left arm and you scream in pain. Your left arm is going numb and you drop the jandal. you put some distance between you and zombie mom. What the fuck do you do now? roll d20

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: infected left arm
Health: in pain
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: a jandal your right hand

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>99474
Channel Sasuke power and slay mother w in some edgy way

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>99474
Sue the mother for assault. Oh, and chop off your left arm too. Just for good measure.

>>99474
Get triggered for her cis gender opression of yur special snowflake consexual polydimon nu male wolf kin

>>99511
you channel your inner edgelord and attack your mom with the Uchiha style of Jandal-jutsu. You throw the jandal like a shurikan. She takes little damage.
>>99520
you attempt to cut off your arm with a jandal, its not very effective but you make a small cut

You are in combat
>Enemies:
>Zombie Mom 16/20
>Location:
>Hallway full of Jandals

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: infected left arm, triggered
Health: in pain, useless left arm
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: nothing

roll d20

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>99583
Become intensely triggered by your evil white cis gendered mother, who's been brain washed by TRIGGERING WHITE MALES

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>99583
Chop off your arm with the combined edge of /b/ posts.

>>99602
you start mumbling about white cis gendered patriarchy, zombie mom is not affected and closes the distance between you.
>>99623
you try and remember edgy /b/ posts, an energy wave forms and makes a small cut on your left arm. blood is gushing out and zombie mom takes notice

You are in combat
>Enemies:
>Zombie Mom 16/20
>Location:
>Hallway full of Jandals

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: infected left arm, triggered +.04 to shitlords
Health: in pain, useless left arm bleeding profusely
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: nothing

3 more turns until fatal chest infection
roll d20

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>99661
Get the nearest knife and chop off your arm with newfound vigour.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>99661
Scream "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEEEEEEE" Because of the evil patriarchy

>>99670
Because you are triggered you feel you can do more damage to a CIS while male such as yourself. You get to the kitchen and grab a small fruit to cut off your arm. You make another cut in your arm and hit the bone. More blood comes out and zombie mom shows up following your blood trail. triggered status is over.
>>99688
you scream "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEEEEEEE" Because of the evil patriarchy. you can hear a voice outside " is anyone in there?"


You are in combat
>Enemies:
>Zombie Mom 16/20
>Location:
>Kitchen with one doorway blocked by zombie mom, one window with stranger outside.

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: infected left arm,
Health: in pain, useless left arm bleeding profusely
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: nothing

2 turns until fatal chest infection

roll d20

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>99757
Chop off arm one last time. Yell "OI CUNT PISS OFF WITH YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AND SHIT".

File: Boss-of-this-gym.jpg.jpg (10KB, 400x303px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 400x303px

>>99778
You attempt to cut off your infected arm one more time , you use a sasuke syle karate chop but it is useless. you yell"OI CUNT PISS OFF WITH YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AND SHIT", your mom lunges at you and bites your right leg. The voice outside says "Fuck You, I am the boss of this gym"


>Enemies:
>Zombie Mom 16/20
>Location:
>Kitchen with one doorway blocked by zombie mom, one window with Aniki outside.

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: infected left arm, infected right leg
Health: in pain, useless left arm bleeding profusely
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: nothing

1 turns until fatal chest infection

Aniki has appeared outside the window

>>99870
also roll d20 with an action

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>99870
Make one of those cheesy sitcom one-liners before you die. Preferably with the Seinfield theme.

>>99894
You look at your mom and say" Jeez, forget to get a mother's day gift one time and look what happens." you clutch your heart as the infection reaches your chest and spreads throughout your body. You collapse to the floor in a lifeless pile. Aniki is shocked but yells, "the zombie club is two doors down" before leaving. soon after you rise again as the living dead with no purpose in life. you shuffle up to your room and open zombieChan.

Name: OP
Occupation: Student/ Jandal Master +2 to jandal attacks
Status: zombie
Health: undead, left arm has deep cut and a bite mark, bite mark on the right leg.
Clothing: Sasuke Shirt,cargo pants, striped socks, pair of non jandal sandals
Weapon: nothing

RIP OP 5/8/2016-5/8/2016

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>99993
Shitpost on zombieChan.

Well shit, my thread got hijacked

>>101678
Because you disappeared m8.