Cracka Quest #1 Rapen' My Sister & My Dog

Rolled 1, 6, 1 = 8 (3d6)

>>90576
Meth plant

Rolled 6, 4, 2 = 12 (3d6)

>>90576

HILLBILLY SMASH

Rolled 3, 6, 2 = 11 (3d6)

>>90576
>acquire cute gf with the largest breasts available

>>91332
>not your sister/daughter

Rolled 4, 3, 2 = 9 (3d6)

Go to the meth lab

>Investigate swollen prostate, consider milking it

Rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10 (3d6)

>>95999
Roll

op ?

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>>96404
Sorry, I was banned for asking why there were still quest threads on /tg/. I thought that ban applied here to, I guess not, because I just posted on /pol/, so story post incoming - hopefully there's still some interest.

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You push the old man off you as you can't stand the smell of semen that radiates from his breath.

He gives you a kiss you the cheek and waves you over to a broke down trailer with a yellow crust paint topped off with a stale looking corrugated roof.

You head over there, two well fed and well fucked pitbulls guard the doorway, along with another old farmer that looks exactly like the last guy.

He looks up at you, squinting with his beady litle eyes, "Ey, frumpa dumpa, I ain never seen yaw, Yer neeeew here? I betch'ya yer anus is nice and sweet, like fresh conebread. And yer gunna be so soft like a babe yer mumba hee haw mer sler er yee bleghhh...."

The old farmer snoozes off, when suddenly the door to the trailer swings open in a crash. An absolutely disgusting looking man, with an undercut, handlebar sideburns and sporting a fu manchu in extra tight pants with a plaid polo. A horrifying mismatch of trendy hispter and Joe Dirt.

He smiles at you, revealing a gold tooth, "Hey boy, you must be new, come inside."

Once inside a whole new redneck world is revealed to you with children's chemstry sets strewn about, along with empty sudafed boxes and lithium batteries. Another jittery "chemist" sits in the dark. The constant grinding of the man's jaw alerts you to the fact he's been sampling the goods.

"You were highly recommended, so don't fuck up, shit head!" The bossman yells before he slams the door, locking it in from the outside.

You stand in the middle of a meth lab with a possible pyscopath in one corner and the white man's bread in another.

What do?
>Smash the Methhead's brains in with your bottle
>Make some meth
>smoke some meth

Rolled 8 (1d10)

Begin to make meth, while soliciting sexual favours from the methhead. May Satan guide my roll.

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>>98153
"Hey" You yell at the man in the corner.

He turns around, wide eyed. "WHAT YOU WANT?" he yells at you.

"I just want to make some meth man," you tell him. "I need some cash to buy more Wild Turkey and Marlboros."

"METH! YOU WANT TO MAKE METH! WELL I NEED THESE INGREDIENTS AND THEN WE CAN GET STARTED," he continues to scream in an erratic manner as he walks up to you handing you a list

List:
1. Sudafed 10 boxes
2. Lithium Batteries 100 AAs
3. Ammonium 5 gallons

>What do
freeform: Lowest 3d6 out of first 5 wins. crit success is 3 & 4. If its slow I'll go on with whoever rolls in 10 minutes.

Rolled 1, 6, 6 = 13 (3d6)

>>99469
do we need to get some, if so do that.

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>>99599
Outside of the trailer, the old yankee farmer guards the methlab along with his two girlfri...dogs. He lets people in and out when the bossman isn't around.

On your way out he hands you a map of the local town, along with a burner phone (no pron sorry):

>Which store first?
>Pharmacy Cuck for Sudafed
>VideoShack for Batteries
>Hardon Depot for Ammonium

>>100200
>Pharmacy Cuck for Sudafed

Bump because this sounds amazing.

Get batteries from pawn shop.
While there buy the cheapest gun and make several jokes to the cashier about the word pawn

>>101267
Do this

>That's a great deal you're a real pawn star
>How long have you worked in pawn
>What's the most you've ever made on a sale? That's some hardcore pawn
>What do they call your area? Pawnography?
>The whole family's short on cash. I think I'll get my daughter into pawn. I'd love to show her the ropes. What could be more beautiful, father and daughter wrapped up together in the pawn industry? It'd be great to see what she could do. She's got quite a mouth on her.

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>>101178
Thanks!

>>101267
>>101427
>>101442
Okay, we could switch to a democracy for now since its slow

Upcoming story post.

We're using GURPS ultra-lite in case anyone is wondering :^)

I'll start adding rules here and there from lite as we go along; both are free online and on the GURPS general OP PDF

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You call a taxi to come and pick you up.

"Allah Ackbar," he greets you upon arrival.

"Larry's Firearm & Pawn, and step on it," you demand from the shitskin.

"Liberty..." he corrects you in his thick Middle Eastern accent

"I'm not paying you to correct me, Ahmed," you snidely remark to the mouthy Arab.

"It is Mohammad you racist bastard!" He yells before screaming something in Arabic.

After enduring about half an hour of screaming gypsies on the radio, rolling through the bumpy dirt roads of the backwater shitstain that is Hicksville where Meth, Fish, Lumber and Wheat are the main exports, in that order, you finally arrive at your destination.

Good, because another minute of those yodeling camel fuckers and you would have had beaten your driver to death.

"22.50" he says.

"Wait, I'll be right back. I need to get my money," you tell him.

He begins cursing in Arabic before calming down and giving you a dirty look, "5 minutes, crusader, then I leave you and your pale, homosex ass here."

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You walk in to the shop and the owner greets you, "Hi, I'm Billy Bob, my uncle Jim Bob owns this here store. How can I help you stranger?"

"I just need some batteries, AA, about 100," you reply as you look over your shoulder. You lean over the counter and they say in a soft whisper, "and the cheapest Saturday Night Special you guys got."

"Sir, first of your breath smells like stale alcohol, please back up a bit. Secondly, This is America, not some backwards socialist dump, like Europe or California. So I'd be more than happy to sell you a gun as long as you have the money" he grins, rubbing his hands together greedily. Now that you think about it he does look slightly Jewish. Where the fuck does Billy Bob come from? Maybe its Bobstein.
You pull out your wallet, looking inside you see lint, 25 dollars and your ID.

"Uhh, how much for everything?" You ask.

(I'll now roll for reaction 3d6 w/ -2 modifier for having stink breath and looking like a bum).

Rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10 (3d6)

reroll because I'm a tard

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The Jew is not impressed.

"Nice watch," He says, pointing at the watch your dead dad gave you, which he had to hide in his anus while at a gook POW camp so he could pass it down to you.

"B-but, this...my old man's..." You say before he cuts you off

"Just pawn it, you can always buy it back in two weeks at double the price," The hillbilly Jew says, smacking his lips.

What do?
>Pawn the watch for the gun
>Just pay for the batteries
>Something else (explain)

>>102705
Can we buy the gun and then rob him with it?

>>102728
K
Char sheet:
http://pastebin.com/raw/sA1PTH0i

You guys have 3 points to spend in Strength, Dexterity, I.Q, Health (Constitution).

And another point to add any skill-set you can think of (i.e: judo, brawler, smooth operator, prostitute, etc).

Also pick a name

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>102834
I roll for catch wrestling (from college/ Uncle Alf)

>>102705
ask if he has battletoads
gauge his reaction to better assess his character, and thus give you a leg up to barter and heckle

Rolled 3, 5, 2 = 10 (3d6)

>>102834
One point in Dexterity, one point in I.Q., one point in Constitution.

One point in 'redneck soldier' skill set.

Ol' Chuck should be our name.

>>102705
Buy the gun then rob him with it.

>>103027
Agreed, and can't forget all those special moves we learned from WWE

>>102705
I don't trust this guy.
Maybe it would be best to go to VideoShack for the Batteries after all.