Thread replies: 692
Thread images: 196
Thread images: 196
Oh shit nigger you're in some sort of magical cart race organized by some shadowy magical interdimensional organization. In space.
Currently you're The Man with No Game, the number one most dangerous cowboy...in China, on your rickshaw being pulled by your good frien, Poak Bun Skeleton.
Currently you're in 4th place, what do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>895281
Continue to run faster at Patriotic speed, while punching self in face
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>895281
Assault driver in 3rd
>>
>>895303
Whoooosh
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>895329
are we punching self in face? this is important after all
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>895344
for what anon says
>>
>>895350
You take aim at third place
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>895372
TASTE FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>895372
pew pew their wheels
>>
File: 1.png (13KB, 500x500px)
13KB, 500x500px
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>895374
Roll 2d100, second number will be the decider. First is pickings.
>>
Rolled 32, 65 = 97 (2d100)
>>895391
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
>>
Rolled 50, 50 = 100 (2d100)
>>895391
DID SOMEONE SAY FREEDOM?
>>
>>895400
Oh no! He threw some bacon at the last minute, distracting you! You missed!
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>895412
use your jerky reserve!
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>895421
What about it?
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>895430
I said use it not what about it!
meaning eat it to avoid further meat distraction!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>895454
that's better now let's use the air pocket that 3rd is making to catch up
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>895454
POWER YOURSELF UP DUE TO EATING BACON
>>
>>895460
That was beef jerky though
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>895463
POWER YOURSELF UP DUE TO EATING JERKY
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x500px)
16KB, 500x500px
>>895474
whoosh
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>895494
Assault! Star Spangled Gatling Gun!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>895504
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 72, 45 = 117 (2d100)
>>895525
ratatatatatta
>>
Rolled 71, 51 = 122 (2d100)
>>895525
Just feel the freedom pierce your corpse.
>>
Rolled 21, 99 = 120 (2d100)
>>895525
>>
>>895547
would be a good roll if you did it right and had a higher first roll
>>
>>895555
nvm you did do it right
>>
>>895562
:|
>>
>>895535
Missed
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>895569
ok shooting them isn't working might as well try to actually RACE!
>>
>>895576
Dice God laughs in your general direction
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>895591
Let's RACE while singing the national anthem for freedom power
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>895591
Use Poak Bun salesman's t-shirts! Summon the tees in front of enemies to blind them!
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
11KB, 500x500px
>>895599
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>895591
fuck you dice godd
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>895623
pass 3rd place and head for 2nd
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>895623
Suddenly start boosting into second as you feel the freedom power flow through you.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>895623
Let loose bald eagles to attack the guy behind you because fuck that guy
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x500px)
14KB, 500x500px
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>895633
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 97, 43 = 140 (2d100)
>>895666
Dice God must be a fucking commie.
>>
Rolled 68, 3 = 71 (2d100)
>>895666
>>
Rolled 46, 43 = 89 (2d100)
>>895666
Maximum overdrive
>>
>>895675
Dice God laughs as you failed to pass 3rd place
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>895708
Call upon the aid of the freedom eagles to carry us past these communist scum.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>895720
*squawk*
Roll 2d100, for freedom
>>
Rolled 34, 3 = 37 (2d100)
FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
>>
Rolled 22, 70 = 92 (2d100)
>>895740
Fear us communist filth!
>>
Rolled 15, 24 = 39 (2d100)
>>895740
oh shit, forgot to reply
USA
>>
Rolled 40, 11 = 51 (2d100)
>>895740
>>
Rolled 42, 66 = 108 (2d100)
>>895740
Comrade
>>
>>895754
The Eagles died of dysentry
>>
>>895789
What's more american than one revolver?two revolvers [/spoiler[
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>895789
Yell "GOLD!" to activate the power of American prospectors so they can run down the assholes ahead of us.
>>
>>895797
DUN DUIN
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>895816
now do some Gunfu on these assholes, instead of regular gun.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>895816
SHOW THE OTHER RACERS YOUR FREEDOM
>>
File: 1.png (57KB, 500x500px)
57KB, 500x500px
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>895825
Gun-fu is from China, whihc is communists right? This will probably help
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 27, 5 = 32 (2d100)
>>895843
We can add an American spin on it.
>>
>>895843
Thank you Mao
>>
Rolled 66, 43 = 109 (2d100)
>>895843
>>
Rolled 16, 13 = 29 (2d100)
>>895843
shoot first bullet then fire second bullet into first bullet to make it stronger
>>
>>895862
Dice God is a filthy communist trying to keep good honest Americans down.
>>
>>895854
Aaaand you missed every single shot. Goddamn.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>895882
that's it! it is time to use that!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>895887
Roll 2d100, hopefully Stalins vengeful ghost is gone by now
>>
Rolled 95, 12 = 107 (2d100)
>>895899
>>
>>895912
fuck you stalin!
>>
Rolled 54, 91 = 145 (2d100)
>>895899
>>
>>895912
And your bullets were shot down by Revolver Bonelot
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>895926
Time to use that!
>>
>>895928
Behold! The FREEDOM GUN
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>895942
it is a dark time for us resorting to this... but we have no choice!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>895946
Roll 2d100, for Freedom
>>
Rolled 60, 90 = 150 (2d100)
>>895956
welp there is almost no point to this roll
>>
Stalin pls
>>
Rolled 82, 52 = 134 (2d100)
>>895956
NIGGA, I AIN'T BEATING THAT
>>
>>895964
Turns out it's empty
>>
>>895956
Dice God confirmed for being Uber Stalin.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>895970
insert your clipazine into the gun
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>895974
Right, just shove this in there, should be simple and easy, roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 64, 40 = 104 (2d100)
>>895980
2ez
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>895970
reload it dummy
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>895980
>>
Rolled 76, 80 = 156 (2d100)
>>895980
wrong roll
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>895983
Kchakk. Okay, fully loaded. Roll 2d100 again. For Freedom. Again.
>>
Rolled 81, 3 = 84 (2d100)
>>895990
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
>>
>>895994
Thanks Uber Stalin
>>
Rolled 94, 62 = 156 (2d100)
>>895990
>>
>>895999
yesssss! take that stalin
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x500px)
16KB, 500x500px
>>895999
Finally, you managed to hit the Third Place Racer. You're in Third Place now.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>896015
god bless america
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>896015
now use lolli special edition magazine to distract lollisniffer! don't ask how we got it.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>896015
Suddenly feel a drain on our FREEDOM ENERGY™ due to using the freedom gun
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896027
"How did you get that?"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>896047
Say "CAPITALISM THAT'S HOW"
>>
>>896047
WHAT DID I TELL YOU DON'T ASK QUESTION Poak bun-san. Yes I'm fully aware how racist I'm being!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>896047
"Doesn't matter, we're in first place now"
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896053
"Capitalism gets you Loli magazines?"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>896065
damn it just fire it at the lolli skeleton!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>896065
"With capitalism you can buy anything. Even special edition lolli magazines"
>>
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>896086
Now fire at lollisniffer with our special lolli rounds
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>896086
NOW FIRE BY CATAPULT WITH THE FREEDOM PULT VAULTING CAT
>>
Rolled 173 (1d200)
>>896102
"Hah?"
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 75, 92 = 167 (2d100)
>>896115
FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM
>>
Rolled 94, 91 = 185 (2d100)
>>896115
Can't beat that
>>
Rolled 92, 92 = 184 (2d100)
>>896115
I thought we could out smert him
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>896143
Call in a bombing run by a Murica jet to stop them.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>896143
ooohhhh that makes sense.
time for a freedom spin!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d200)
>>896153
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 10, 13 = 23 (2d100)
>>896168
>>
Rolled 30, 34 = 64 (2d100)
>>896168
they haven't attacked us once too
>>
Rolled 62, 48 = 110 (2d100)
>>896168
>>
The Ghost of Stalin still haunts us
>>
>>896176
Ah shit the jet bombed you accidentally instead
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>896188
you sure? looks like OP got lazy.
>>
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>896188
shoot the jet down so it can crash on the others
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>896197
show some gumption boy!
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896212
The heck's a "gumption boy"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>896216
to show spirited initiative!
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896221
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>896232
means do something you fuck!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>896249
Pew Pew
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>896249
now start doing cool ass racing moves
>>
File: 1.png (126KB, 500x500px)
126KB, 500x500px
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>896254
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 23, 54 = 77 (2d100)
>>896265
common freedom train!
>>
Rolled 30, 81 = 111 (2d100)
>>896265
REVOLVER OCELOT
>>
Rolled 89, 88 = 177 (2d100)
>>896265
>>
Rolled 34, 8 = 42 (2d100)
>>896265
99,99
>>
>>896277
Taking advantage of the vaguely asian decorations, you spun towards second place
>>
>>896290
ya goofed
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x500px)
16KB, 500x500px
>>896290
Whoops, forgot pic
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>896300
awesome who is on first?
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>896301
Pedo Skeleton whom you swore vengeance against
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>896315
Who's on second
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>896315
Distract him with those smutty magazines you got from china
>>
Rolled 118 (1d200)
>>896317
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 78, 25 = 103 (2d100)
>>896320
>>
Rolled 67, 47 = 114 (2d100)
>>896320
nigga, we ain't winning that
>>
>>896324
"meh"
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>896329
OH SHIT MARRIED LIFE HAS CORRUPTED HIM!
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896333
Then let's remember to never get married
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>896351
I don't think we have to worry about that
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>896351
Yup, the american way is to just buy love with hookers and prostitutes and hope you don't have any lasting deepining relations with any of them
>>
>>896355
God Bless
>>
>>896364
[Patriotism intensifies]
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>896364
CHANNEL THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM
BATTLE LOLISNIFFER FOR FIRST PLACE
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>896364
start catching up, neck and neck!
>>
>>896367
[insert battle theme here]
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>896379
GUN FU THIS PEDO
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>896379
shoot at his feet to try and stumble him up!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>896379
Six shooter time
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>896391
GET POAK BUN SKELETON INTO THE BATTLE TOO
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>896391
it starts to get all crouch in trigger hidden shotgun in this bith
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x500px)
16KB, 500x500px
>>896392
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>896395
Cawing Eagle, Hidden Nuke style!
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>896416
it was a hologram we pull in the lead!
>>
>>896419
Yes, but which one was the hologram
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>896416
Kentucky kick, Pennsylvania punch, Tennessee turbo drive to first place
>>
>>896425
Fugg
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>896425
us of course
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>896430
Indeed, the United States was a hologram all along. This sent you into an existential crisis
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>896434
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE US IS LONG GONG, FOR THE US STILL BEATS IN OUR HEART NO MATTER WHERE WE GO!
>>
>>896444
Yes, indeed.
The US was actually a gong the whole time.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>896450
THEN RING THE GONG OF FREEDOM AS WE BEAT THIS SKELETON FOR FIRST PLACE!
>>
>>896452
*ring ring ring*
"Hello? Freedom Gong? Helloooo?"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>896455
hey anon pay attention the race is about to be over!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>896455
THIS IS AMERICA SPEAKING, AND IT'S TELLING YOU TO KICK THAT SKELETON'S ASS AS YOU WIN THE RACE!
>>
>>896457
"Why you asking me though? I'm just anon"
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896460
"Oh shit that's right"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>896462
use American fireworks to boost yourself past lollisniffer and jojo
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>896462
ROUND 3 FIGHT!
>>
>>896465
But you already blew the kids tire out back at the start of the race
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>896470
aw shit don't let him get the lead go just freedom run faster!
>>
hey OP, I remember in another thread someone posted a reply about ash to ash and posted this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSjLEJbsHrI then you humorously drew ash ketchum and ash williams. you also posted a "dust to dust" song that was an ost to some mecha or gundam show. do you remember what you posted?
>>
Rolled 180 (1d200)
>>896482
Roll 2d100
>>896483
Actually, I posted that song along with my reply of Dust to Dust and the Ashes. What anon posted was this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN00p8MNajg, which is probalby what you're looking for
>>
Rolled 58, 63 = 121 (2d100)
>>896491
thanks.
WE HAVE TO WIN FOR AMERICA!
>>
Rolled 43, 86 = 129 (2d100)
>>896491
another impossibru roll
>>
>>896491
any more like dis songu?
>>
Rolled 94, 22 = 116 (2d100)
>>896491
Rolling
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>896494
Well shite, you'renot catching up. And the skeleton threw a dragon statue at you. Roll 2d100 against the statue
>>896501
Ah yes of course, here's a nimu song for ya
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNVfrxkHj1M
>>
Rolled 27, 100 = 127 (2d100)
>>896507
>>
Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)
testing
>>
>>896507
that's dope a shit
>>
nice 100!
>>
>>896509
Dodged the statue!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>896515
IT'S TIME FOR THE DOUBLE HAMMER SHOT AGAIN!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>896515
stars and stripes forever! Fortune cookie the competition since American invented those.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>896518
Speaking of other racers. Revolver Bonelot is coming up from behind and fires at you!
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 54, 30 = 84 (2d100)
>>896521
Yo Joe!
>>
Rolled 1, 21 = 22 (2d100)
>>896521
Dodge his bullet but shoot at his bullet as it passes forward to propel it harder for a triple hammer shot!
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x500px)
16KB, 500x500px
>>896522
Good dodge
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>896527
Fire in front and behind you at the same time
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>896527
now do the Screaming Eagal
>>
Rolled 130, 20, 141 = 291 (3d150)
>>896529
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 52, 90 = 142 (2d100)
>>896534
well shit thanks anon
>>
Rolled 16, 45 = 61 (2d100)
>>896534
Pew pew
>>
>>896537
From your three targets: The Pedo Skeleton, the Barbarian Lady and Commie Skeleton, you manged to hit the lady.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>896542
now run faster Or drive faster! Make the NOISE POAK BUNSAN!
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x500px)
15KB, 500x500px
Rolled 235 (1d1000)
>>896543
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 39, 25 = 64 (2d100)
>>896545
aw fuck
>>
Rolled 85, 96 = 181 (2d100)
>>896545
No worries, she's just a hologram
>>
>>896547
And now your ride's gone
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>896548
BUILD A NEW RIDE
FIRE YOUR HAND CANNON BACKWARDS TO PROPEL YOURSELF FORWARDS
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>896548
a mist the smoke we ride out on top of our skelly as a mount with a piece of rickshaw in our mouth like a cigar. YEEEEHAAAAWWWW
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>896548
Carjack someone
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>896549
Roll 2d100 to avoid performance problems
>>
Rolled 38, 81 = 119 (2d100)
>>896554
FWOOSH
>>
Rolled 87, 68 = 155 (2d100)
>>896554
99,99
>>
Rolled 110 (1d200)
>>896556
Now roll 2d100 to blast towards the finish line
>>
Rolled 82, 18 = 100 (2d100)
>>896558
>>
Rolled 54, 65 = 119 (2d100)
>>896558
CHITTY CHITTY
BANG BANG
>>
Rolled 3, 73 = 76 (2d100)
>>896558
FOR THE GOLD
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>896560
Aaaaaan you rammed right into a vaguely asian statue in this vaguely asian temple. Ruining your momentum. Also gave you a concussion.
Roll 2d100 to stay concious
>>
Rolled 77, 24 = 101 (2d100)
>>896566
>>
Rolled 28, 86 = 114 (2d100)
>>896566
>>
>>896567
Alright, didn't pass out, good. Passing out means getting hospitalized and that means you'll get replaced with that fag with shitty hair who rides in giant robots
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>896569
ride on your skellys back to the finish line
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>896569
Eat jerky again to recover and make a run for it
>>
Rolled 39, 100, 41, 62, 12, 11, 11 = 276 (7d100)
>>896572
And so you ran....with the other 7 racers who you shot at and knocked off the track before. And they're not happy.
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 77, 46 = 123 (2d100)
>>896574
get on your skelly you moron!
>>
Rolled 71, 37 = 108 (2d100)
>>896575
AND I RUUUUN, I RUN ALL NIGHT AND DAAAAYY. JUST TO GET AWAY!
>>
>>896574
op are you on v right now?
are you posting in v right now?
>>
>>896575
But then Bonelot blasts apart your skeletonw ith his cannons. And you got stabbed in the dick by the Dickass Thief.Gotta go for a bit, be back in an hour
>>
>>896577
whatsittoya
>>
>>896580
are you telling a tale of deceit and lies with a blue rodent involved?
>>
>>896582
nah
>>
Alright I'm back, who's still in here?
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>896579
well run the rest of the way to the finish line
>>
>>896595
But youre busy writhing on the ground, clutching your bleeding penis
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>896596
ah well use the American cure!
Duct tape
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>896596
You knew this day would come
That is why you've prepared a fake penis ahead of time
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>896597
Roll 2d100 to duct tape your dick
>>
Rolled 92, 90 = 182 (2d100)
>>896600
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
>>896601
Alright, taped up your dick.
>>
>>896602
Whats that we are standing in?
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>896602
now get to that finish line
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
Rolled 99, 42, 92, 69, 52, 95, 60, 52 = 561 (8d100)
>>896606
Time to run to the finish line, trying to beat all of the other racers. On foot. With a wounded dick.
Roll 2d100
-20 debuff
>>
Rolled 68, 63 = 131 (2d100)
>>896607
hip hup hup hup hup
>>
>>896608
And so you finished 7th. Beating only Orc Cleric.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>896609
how does he do it? let's see that instant replay
>>
>>896610
You were in last place, but then tripped on a rock and launched yourself past the finish line right before Orc Cleric managed to do it.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>896613
such a stunning victory for, what 8th? place? a true American hero
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>896616
so wait till more anons show up in the morning?
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>896616
Glorious
>>
File: 1.png (22KB, 500x500px)
22KB, 500x500px
>>896619
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>896620
Now go get your dick patched up man, it fucking hurts.
>>
>>896622
Let this weeping freedom bird represents the fact that you are now hospitalized and unable to compete
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>896625
We're going through characters real fast lately. How do they get all these people?
Isn't dimension-travelling illegal or something?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>896625
What about poak bun skeleton? blowing up is child's play for skellies and he could race for our honor
>>
>>896625
Have your sun billy freedom man run for you race in your place
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>896629
Opps
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896630
But you don't have a son. In fact, you vowed to never get married back up there.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>896632
That's why you adopted one
>>
>>896632
You do have a son
He is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF MURICA
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896633
If you did you only options were some random chinese kid
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>896634
Forgot to add bastard
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>896635
Well the president of MURICA is ordering us to pick our replacement
I say we go back in time and pick up Andrew Jackson
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>896635
get your dick fixed up
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>896635
Yes, and we have turned that commie into a glorious american boy.
We truly are a saint.
>>
>>896638
You can't go back in time. Plus America turned out to be a hologram so you'll have to get over that too.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>896642
What if we are a hologram too...?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>896644
Oh shit, what if you never were in this race in the first place? What if you were just a hologram of the real Man with No Game, only activated to boost ratings? What if your "hospitalization" was an euphemism for deactivating you?! Roll 2d100 to see if you exist or not
>>
Rolled 89, 83 = 172 (2d100)
>>896645
>"Roll to see if you exist"
Never thought i'd hear that.
>>
Rolled 12, 36 = 48 (2d100)
>>896645
>>
>>896647
Oh good, you're real.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>896649
We still got no dick tho.
Let's find a cyber-dick.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>896649
But you know who isn't alright?
AMERICA
>>
>>896651
And that's a story for another time my friend
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>896656
Dickass Thief
GO
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 1000x600px)
25KB, 1000x600px
>>896658
Ya sure m8? Ya don't wanna wait til other anons get here to hear their opinions?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>896662
IF they get here, maybe.
>>
File: 1.png (29KB, 1000x600px)
29KB, 1000x600px
>>896663
Then let's hold this off til then. Eyyyyy
>>
>>896664
Fiiine, dad.
>>
>>896665
That's right, now go sit in the corner. You're grounded.
>>
>>896667
Don't tell me what to do.
jk don't hit me pls.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>896677
I second this
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
Pick barbmom, she has enjoyed for too long being overpowered, time for her to taste what feels to be a playable character and all the bullshit of the dice gods
>>
Oh look, more peoples. Are we doing this? Are we actually continuing?
>>
Do it
>>
>>896687
Your choice OP
>>
>>896695
Depends. Roll call, who's here can participate, reply to this post.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>896699
Check my natural one
>>
>>896699
K
Captcha blows today
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>896699
poop
>>
Alright, 3 peoples. Could work. But first, who's in favour of hitting yHlPieWf, say Aye
>>
>>896715
Aye
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896715
C'mon now, don't be shy
>>
>>896715
Aye
>>
>>896717
Aye
>>
>>896719
You said yes to your own harm
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 500x500px)
25KB, 500x500px
>>896716
>>896718
>>896719
Well I mean, if he's askin for it, he's askin for it.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>896722
super robot pilot LOCK IN CONFIRM
>>
>>896725
What if it did kill you though
>>
Hey people are here.
>>896734
Let's get back to Orc Paladin pls
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>896734
Super Robot Pilot lock in confirm
if he is still out, call his younger brother
>>
File: 1.png (24KB, 1000x600px)
24KB, 1000x600px
Right right, let's settle this like civilized peoples.
Also Hardmode activated: No "Lock In Confirm". Ya gotta get the winning roll like twice. Maybe thrice if I'm feeling like a dick.
>>
>>896734
Then i am kill.
And also a ghost.
And i can spook people.
Still voting for dickass thief btw
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>896741
SUPA ROBOTTO PILOTTO
The hero we deserve.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>896741
Orc Paladin!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>896741
Let's see if my newfound spooking abilities will give me a good roll.
Dickass Thief
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 1000x600px)
25KB, 1000x600px
>>896747
Ya sure m8
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>896748
SUPA ROBOTTO PILOTTO
the unpopular hero with a scarf
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>896748
He isn't. We're picking Orc Paladin
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>896748
Noice.
NOW FOR THE SECOND SPOOK-ROLL!
>>
>It's gonna be everyone desperately tries to sabotage the protagonist because they didn't get what they want episode
Calling it.
>>
File: 1.png (24KB, 1000x600px)
24KB, 1000x600px
>>896751
Oh, are we now.
>>
>>896754
We have been almost everyone on the roster. They can wait
>>
>>
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 1000x600px)
25KB, 1000x600px
>>896759
Oh randomizing eh, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hmm
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>896762
Randomize, which includes secret characters from mystery box. And KO characters replacements.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>896762
Maybe not?
Dickass Thief steals a good roll
>>
File: 1.png (24KB, 1000x600px)
24KB, 1000x600px
>>896768
That sneaky bastard
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>896771
Oh, come on, he's a nice guy.
He's just misunderstood.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>896771
4 more posts until op stops fucking around
>>
>>896780
Aww, you make-a Dickass Thief a sad
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>896784
3 more
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>896784
You see? This is why everyone thinks he's an asshole.
Nobody likes poor Dickass Thief.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>896784
pilot of giant robot
lock in
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 1000x600px)
25KB, 1000x600px
>>896791
There aint no more lockin boi, you gotta re confirm
>>896790
The huge smile is to mask his pain
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>896793
Okay, fuck dice god.
SUPA ROBOTTO PILOT CHOSEN AGAIN AGAINST ALL ODDS
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>896793
Exactly.
>>
File: 1.png (24KB, 1000x600px)
24KB, 1000x600px
>>896796
Is that true, Mr Dickass Thief?
"Yes, it's to mask the pain. And the greed. The gigantic, immeasurable greed....but uh, pain yeah totally"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>896797
gimme back my car you sicko
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>896797
fuckit let's just go random.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>896797
"In truth, i have developed greed after all of this emptiness started. I became greedy because of the sadness. Because of them."
>>
>>896801
"I mean, I just dunno doc. It's like inside my soul there's a giant bottomless hole that I try to fill up with material wealth"
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>896807
So.
Have you ever dreamed about bananas?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>896807
Yeah, man, it's weird as fuck.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>896807
and mom... she just stood there
>>
File: 1.png (27KB, 1000x600px)
27KB, 1000x600px
>>896812
"I mean, that's how she reacted to what I do in general. Just standing there with a look of disaproval on her face. Even now I can feel her disgruntled gaze"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>896816
When I was five I killed mah brutha for a chicken nugget
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>896816
ma'am please this is a closed session.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>896816
And it's not like i was the only one, she was a thief too.
Matter of fact, she teached me the job.
But she always said i was too unprofessional.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>896816
And these voices in my head. Always telling me to steal, steal and steal again.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>896816
Well that was 5... not 4... oh well
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>896816
She did name you DickAss Thief, is she disappointed you didn't live up to the name?
>>
File: 1.png (23KB, 1000x600px)
23KB, 1000x600px
>>896818
"You need to leave ma'am...Don't give me that look, c'mon. Don't worry, after this your son will be part of the randomized pickings...Yes, yes, he'll try to be not such a big disapointment....and give you grandkids, of course. Goodbye, ma'am"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>896832
dickass thief steals the chair-sofa
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>896832
Say whaat nigga?
Randomized pickings?
Nigga i sacrificed my virginity to the Dice god for those rolls.
You gotta live up to your part of the deal.
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 1000x600px)
25KB, 1000x600px
>>896837
"Sorry anon, but I...won't be calling back in the morning"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>896845
Quickly Steal all the luck you can fit in your pockets from the dice God
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>896845
No... Not you too...
"NEXT EPISODE, ON ONE-GODLY-NIGHT, OP AND BROCK GET PAIRED TOGETHER TO LIVE A NIGHT OF FIERY PASSION"
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>896845
laugh track plays
>>
File: 1.png (44KB, 1000x600px)
44KB, 1000x600px
>>896850
Anyway, time ta spin da wheel
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>896856
Ratatatatatatataaaataaaaaaaaataaaaaaaa.......taaaaa
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>896856
SPIN TO WIN!
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>896856
Wheel of misfortune spin spin spin what racer will we help win win win?
>>
File: 1.png (22KB, 1000x600px)
22KB, 1000x600px
>>896858
Let's set up the numbers first:
1 - Dickass Thief
2 - Revolver Bonelot
3 - Orc Cleric
4 - NRFS
5 - Super Robot Pilot
6 - Dick Laserfist
7 - Barbmom
8 - Jojo
SUPERDUPERSECRET CHARACTERS, WOAH SHIIIIIT:
60 - Simon, Weeaboo Skeleton
65 - Submarine Captain, broth maker
70 - Fist Wizard
75 - Metal Wizard
80 - Hitman, man who hits
85 - Geyser Shitdick
90 - The King
95 - Greg
100 - Merc n Horsefucker
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>896866
so do who rolls?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d8)
>>896866
And now...a d8 because fack yuu
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>896870
Ohshit Simon
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896870
And the Dice has chosen...Dick Laserfist, Time Travelling Pugilist. Robot and Time Policeman. This race is actually illegal according to time travelling and dimension hopping rules, and you're here to investigate...At least that's what you tell the chief. In truth you're here to win the prize like any other racer.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>896882
And here is our magnificent, law-dispensing ride...
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>896882
inspect vehicle
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896885
Ah yes, the Time Toaster. Good speed and handling. Okay armor. Special Ability: Time Jump - when fully charged can jump through time and skip sections of the track, getting in front of the other racers.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>896894
But how is the Toast is makes?
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896907
Tasty
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>896909
Inspect next race location
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>896909
Prepare to Toast opponents
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>896909
disguise the toast
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896915
Half-eaten Toast has been disguised as Slightly More Eaten Toast
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>896919
Activate Temporal properties of toast
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>896919
You're feeling toasty about this...
>>
>>896923
>toasty
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>896926
Make more Toast
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>896926
ESCAPE THE CANCER
GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP YOU FROM HAVING THAT THOUGHT
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>896930
I don't know what will this accomplish but sure
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>896933
Prepare for race while eating Toast
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>896933
Those are time toast
If you eat them all and drink your juice you'll go back in time and meet Gilgamesh
At least that's what you're mom told you
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px)
12KB, 500x500px
>>896937
BUt you don't even have a mom. You were built by your Dad, a Time Police scientist.
He still refuses to make you a little sister
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>896946
That is why you must win the race, so you can wish for a little sister
>>
>>896946
I wonder if he's watching me on the TV...
>>
>>896948
Well that's ya goal
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>896953
Let the Brotherly love flow through you
>>
File: 1.png (33KB, 500x500px)
33KB, 500x500px
>>896957
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>896960
NOW GO WIN THAT RACE SO YOU FULFILL YOUR DREAM OF BEING A BIG BROTHER!!
>>
>>896961
Back at HQ your little brother suddenly feel a chill down his robo-spine
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>896967
Sad Trombone noises for the soon to be middle sibling
>Where did everybody go?
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>896967
Punch the start button
>>
File: 1.png (13KB, 500x500px)
13KB, 500x500px
>>896978
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>896980
and we're off!
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>896980
That didn't start the race punch it again
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896986
"Race won't start until 2 hours later, officer"
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>896987
time travel 2 hours and 5 minutes later on finish line
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>896987
Time travel to start position
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>896987
Eat Temporal Toast until the race starts
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>896996
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>896998
tastes like a chicken
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>896998
MMMmmm Temporal Toast
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>897003
Temporal Toast, always hot and toasty thanks to its temporal displacement
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>897012
Now only if you had some quantum butter
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>897012
Did anyone tell your boss, Spacetime Paladin, yet? Is your brother a narc?
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>897013
*robo sadness*Anyway I gotta go now, and not for just an hour like earlier. Thread on hold until...when it's not, yeah. See ya.
>>
>>897019
See ya later
>>
You ever do a quest on Akun before?
>>
>>899946
Nah, i aint a writer. Or anything, really.
>>
>>901594
Don't lie.You're a goddamn miracle.
Even if it has been a little dead on qst you're still the best.
>>
>>901605
That gave me a boner.
In my heart.
Thanks.
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
Alright, who's up for thread?
>>
>>911432
Hello. Welcome to /qst/, Id offer refreshments but i got no grocery deliveries for over a month. Or guests... or neighbors
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x500px)
15KB, 500x500px
>>911435
Wow you're a terribad host, ya know that
>>
>>911439
Its not my fault! The mods did this! THE MAN put us down, yo! We can only sustain ourselves with describing food and hope someone draws it to feed us!
>>
>>911443
What a terrible existence
>>
>>911446
Thats my stick from Whacking-RPG!
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>911453
Actually iy's a stick from ThisThreadIsTotallyDead-RPG
>>
>>911457
It was an alegory for my penis
>>
>>911460
No, this is
>>
Oh well, guess I'll try aain some other time.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>911476
sorry, was too preoccupied shitposting about which is better, ATX or SRX team.ATX team obviously
>>
>>911479
Good taste.
>>
>>911476
See you next time
>>
>>911485I think so too.
I'll be in thread for 2-3 hours but I doubt that'll be enough to get it rolling.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
Time for racing
>>
Are there actually people in here now or am I immagining things.
>>
>>911496
naaaah, that can't be
>>
>>911498
What can't be
>>
>>911506
you are all purple to me
>>
>>911508
op caught for samefaging
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>911508
You should go see a doctor about that
>>
>>911511
STOP THE PRESSES
DOES HE USES HIS TIME POLICE POWERS TO HAVE MULITPLE POSTS
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>911513
Side effects of Temporal Toast with Quantum Butter may include Synesthesia
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>911513
BED IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>911519
Oh no, anon's gone feral. We'll have to put him down.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>911524
Restrain him a series of time punches
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>911524
I'm doing FINNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YOU ARE FINNNNNNNNNNE
I AM FINNNNEEE
CHORDS OF STEEEEEEEEEEEL
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>911524
Throw him in an all purple room
>>
>>911525
>Restrain him with a series of time punches
gotta slow down my typing
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x500px)
14KB, 500x500px
>>911525
Calm down anon!
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>911531
I AM ACTUALLY YOUR SIDEKICK YOU UNGRATEFUL COP
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>911531
Refer Anon to a Time Doctor for his Synesthesia
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>911533
BUt are you though?
Everyone else, roll 1d100 against ap52y8+3 to see if he's right. ap52y8+3 roll 1d100 against everyone else to see if you're right.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>911539
Dice god plz
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>911539
Expose his lies
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>911539
Lies and Slander
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>911544
anon was ousted as a lying liar and is banished to the corner of shame.
And now we return to our regular programming
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>911552
I'LL HAVE MY OWN TIMESPACE CONTINUUM WITH BLACKJACK AND BITCHES AND WILL POLICE THEM
HEAVILY
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>911552
Meanwhile back at the starting line!
>>
>>911557
Some cleaning is happening
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>911558
observe the cleaning process
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>911558
Check Janitor against Temporal Criminal list
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>911558
Set a trap for the other racers
>>
>>911561
Lame puns and old memes are my life force
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>911564
Wait and see who falls for the trap
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>911564
on next one put Posion and write that she isn't a trap.
>>
File: 1.png (34KB, 500x500px)
34KB, 500x500px
>>911567
Roll 2d7 to see who falls for the trap
1 - Dickass Thief
2 - Revolver Bonelot
3 - Orc Cleric
4 - NRFS
5 - Super Robot Pilot
6 - Dick Laserfist
7 - Lolisniffer
Yes, there's a chance you may fall for your own trap.
>>
Rolled 1, 7 = 8 (2d7)
>>911577
there is only oneskeletonwho will fall for this
>>
Rolled 7, 7 = 14 (2d7)
>>911577
>>
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d7)
>>911577Who are we again?
>>
>>911583
Dick Laserfist
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>911581
"I...uh....admire...your basket? Ah yes. Very nice craftsmanship, I must say"
>>
>>911592
Check Skelly against Temporal Criminal Data base
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>911592
yes yes, you'll tell it all in the slammer, now hurry up and put your face on the basket and hands on your skull
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>911592
The basket was the acutal trap, it starts seducing Lolisniffer
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>911600
Forgot my dice
>>
>>911601
"Yeah well okay offic--OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>911614
I'm not going to fall for this old trick, who do you think I am, I have literally eternity of experience
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>911614
THE FUCK IS WHAT?
Look where the Skelly is pointing
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>911614
"Did you really think you could fool me with that?
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>911616
"But there's literally a recently awoken ancient evil behind you, obviously it used your temporal bread to cross over to this dimension!"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>911623
yeah yeah, whatever, you have right to remain silent, call attorney and stuff.
put those hands in handcuffs
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>911623
Just arrest him
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>911623
Fool everyone know only toast can maintain Temporal Properties without imploding!
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
>>911629
"Wow you're just gonna ignore me like that huh? Rude" - Ancient Evil Toast
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>911636
yes, you are not in my jurisdiction
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>911636
Being an Ancient Evil is not a Temporal crime, please continue on your way sir
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>911636
Nice try skeleton, but you can't trick me with your fake toast monsters
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>911641
"Well sure, party pooper"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>911647
continue with your arrest
list Lolisniffer his rights while you are at it
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>911647
Finish arresting Skelly
>>
>>911648
Yes, the skelerights, waitaminute. He's gone
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>911652
Chase him down
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>911652
Punch Skelly in the bones in the past before he escaped
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>911652
that's clearly resisting of arrest, use your time travel powers to turn time back and arrest him before he escapes
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>911655
BUt where is he? Perhaps this hobo can help
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>911663
pull his beard
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>911663
Check Hobo for Loli Mags
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>911667
Scanning...no loli mags found
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>911674
Yep, it's a beard
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>911684
Inquiry Citizen, did you seen a Skeleton in suit come this way?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>911684
Ask him about if he saw a skeleton running around with a trap
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>911684
but is it a bread
>>
>>911687
"Perhaps, officer. Can you describe this skeleton?"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>911698
time travel , grab lolisniffer, travel back and show him to hobo
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>911698
He was last seen avoiding arrest wearing a black suit, and had a trap in his possession
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>911702
"Oh you mean a black suit like this? with a white shirt underneat, open collar, gold chain, balck pants too?"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>911707
kick him back to his time, fucking annoying time hobos
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>911709
--bzzzaaap--
"sup"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>911716
arrest Hobo for obscuring Time justice
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>911716
kick him again
>>
>>911717
"Oh but Time Justice is totally transparent right now officer"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>911721
scan hobo's skeleton to see if it matches with your database
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
11KB, 500x500px
>>911729
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>911740scan thread for additional anons
so do we have a match with anyone?
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>911740
Identify Carbon Calcium Skeletal Structure
>>
>>911744
Thread scan:. Conclusion: everybody's fucking gone for some reason.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>911750
drunk your sorrow in milk
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>911755
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>911750
Summon Anons With the power of Meme Magic
>>
>>911770
calcium gives you +5 defense bonus
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>911776
NOt like it matters anymore. Thread on hold. Again.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>911780
blame moot
>>
>>911783
I blame the times
>>
>>911794
I blame the board
it's way too unpopulated
>>
Barbmom is mail waifu.
>>
>>911806
Barbarian pls go
>>
>>911816
No u fgt
>>
File: image.jpg (100KB, 800x600px)
100KB, 800x600px
>>911816
Oh shit my hombre, some faggot phone poster has come into the thread and used his slimy fingerprinted I-phone six to call in attacks drones on poor Laserdici, wat do?
>>
Rolled 26, 73 = 99 (2d100)
>>913035
whoops oh duck forgot my roll
>>
>>913051
Obviously wait until he goes away, always work
>>
test
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
robostare
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>918816
punch self in face
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>918816
make that anon who was put in the corner your sidekick
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>918816
check itinerary
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>918822
okay, let's actually get racing so we can win the grand prize
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>918822
now check time toaster for bombs
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>918822
ZAMBIES??!?
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>918824
Ah yes, the grand prize. A wish. Which you will be using to wish for your dad to build you a little sister
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>918828
make risky bets on the race! don't tell the fedd
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>918828
get your little sister from future to be your sidekick
and get kickass car from your past
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>918828
gotta race for that imouto
get to it, robot
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>918829
Especially since you're the fed. Hopefully The Chief doesn't find out.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT TIME POLICE HQ
The Chiefs suddenly get a strange felling that a member of the force is involved in illegal activities
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>918833
HIS boss, Soace Time Paladin forces him to investigate
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>918833
No I meant Judge Fedd. Dredd's retarded cousin.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>918833
get chief as your sidekick
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>918840
Can you convince Da Chief to accompany you? Roll 2d100 to find out
Second number will be the decider
1-99: no
100: yes
>>
Rolled 80, 43 = 123 (2d100)
>>918843
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>918843
No, but you alerted him of your crimes
>>
Rolled 31, 66 = 97 (2d100)
>>918843
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>918847
wuh oh
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>918850
he rolled wrong dice, nigga
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>918850
Ruuuun
>>
>>918852
ORLY?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>918859
Run before you get arrested
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>918859
yes, now go and bring back sidekick from 90s.
the most radical driver you can find
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>918859
hide in that box shaped car over there
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px)
12KB, 500x500px
>>918861
NOw roll 2d100 to bring back a driver most radical from the 90s
Second number is decider
90: yes
Any number not 90: no
>>
Rolled 77, 9 = 86 (2d100)
>>918867
RUNNING INTO 90s
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>918867
Now that 90s cop knows your crimes. You are not safe anywhere from the 90's into the future
>>
>>918869
well one number is correct
that counts, right?
>>
Rolled 24, 4 = 28 (2d100)
>>918867
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
>>918869
>>918872
>that counts, right?
"No"
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>918878
cheapstake, steal all donuts from time police office and go back to the racetrack
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>918878
I bet on me boss, that would be good for .... moral
>>
>>918880
"You already had your fill of Time Donuts for today"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>918883
ZAMBIES?
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>918883
but chief, think of-- what's that over there!
RUN!
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>918883
that was other me from from the future.
>>
>>918885
"He's lyin' Chief, there's nothing over there"
Your brother chimes in
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>918895
no chief he's lying, he is the youngest, we all know the youngest lie the most.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>918895
you mean that brother which is always more successful than you and has actual sidekick?
>>
File: 1.png (3KB, 500x500px)
3KB, 500x500px
>>918896
"Is that so?"
"Uh, no?"
"Hmmmmmmm, interesting."
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>918904
sneakily phase away
>>
File: 1.png (3KB, 500x500px)
3KB, 500x500px
>>918906
Roll 2d100 to escape The Chief's Anti-Phasing Device
0-90: No
91-100: yes
>>
Rolled 38, 62 = 100 (2d100)
>>918912
while other anons phase in
>>
File: 1.png (3KB, 500x500px)
3KB, 500x500px
>>918913
You failed to phase out.
And to get other anons in too.
>>
>>918923
realize that you are as much as failure as your childhood friend, super robot pilot.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>918923
ZAMBIES?!?!
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>918925
"Oh yeah, forgot there were those running around"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>918929
what are they doing in police office? paperwork?
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>918931
"We round up Time Zombies, people who tried to change time but fucked up while travelling and got changed into these things, so we can dispose of them later. But looks like somebody unlocked the cages"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>918934
"I wonder who unlocked the cAGRGRHGRHHR.... Brainss......"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>918934
can't you just go back in time and lock those cages or something
>>
>>918939
"This HQ exists outside of the Time Stream. So we can't time travel to any point of its past of future. It's all a big mess really, best not to think about it"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>918950
just so you know it wasnt me screaming zombays an orc has standards
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>918950
escapism always solves all the problems, I'm pretty sure of it
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>918958
"Yes, like that one time you tried to escape and build your own Police force, except with blackjack and hookers. But then ended up being deactivated in a ditch"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>918963
THAT WAS MY EVIL TWIN, I THOUGHT I TOLD THAT ALREADY
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>918963
the on switch didn't work
>>
>>918965
"Of course it didn't. You short-circuited it with beer"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>918969
I blame elves.
those faggots are at fault of my misdoing.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>918969
Time Robot bans Dick Lazerfist for being apprehended by police.
>>
>>918969
beer make good with words shut up comma
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>918971
Does not compute
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>918985
run debug mode
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>918985
404 Race Not Found. Must reset to default settings
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>918986
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>918985
reboot
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>918991
fix all bugs and become a better man
>>
File: 1.png (3KB, 500x500px)
3KB, 500x500px
>>918996
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>918999
that's better now turn on and get to the race it's starting in what? two minutes?
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>918999
dang it, there is wrong operating system on default boot disc
you are now asian time cop from the 90s. (win 98 JP edition)
>>
>>919002
Loading main objective:
.
.
.
.
Investigate Illegally formed racing tournament
Optional Objective:
- Win tournament for easier access
- Wish for a little sister as a bonus
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>919011
you forgot
- get a sidekick
it's cop mandatory, come on now
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>919011
Little sister primary
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>919017
Error, you do not have permission to edit this file
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>919020
damnit fine go to the stupid race then
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>919022
MEANWHILE, BACK AT TIME POLICE HQ
"Man, sure hope my "son" doesn't reboot himself and resetting the admin privileges I gave him"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>919028
None of this would be a problem if you would have just built a little sister in the first place
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>919028
program to kill
for love of course
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>919028
and the boring live of time cop has begun
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>919037
"Ah yes, programming something to kill for love. Now what should I try that on. Maybe I should got to the secret basement full of little girlbots that I made in secret without neither of my sons' knowledge....Or I could just program it into a toaster....or maybe a fridge. Hmm"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>919044
program it into little loli robot girl
to kill for love for her brother
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>919044
Program Loli Girl Bot to love to kill
Errr oh well sure that won't cause any problems
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>919044
program the girl robot to be crazy and want lazerfist but she kills any one who comes near him
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>919056
"Yes surely this won't end in her going rogue and on a rampage through time. Ending with me having to put down my own "daughter" in a hugely dramatic scene in the rain for added dramatic value"
But that is a story for another time.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>919068
that won't ever happen cause it'll all result in unticlimatic ending anyway
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>919068
She will just have to learn to love something other than Killing. Now back to the Race
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>919068
SpoilersIt becomes milkshake bot
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>919074
Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Point is you'll never see it anyway you fucking weeaboo.
Anyway, beep boop, racing
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>919080
you clearly know my character that means that I AM YOUR SIDEKICK
I'm back from the corner, bitches!
>>
>>919082
Go back to bed, Simon
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>919082
No you're not fucker. Stay there and stop trying to self insert or I'll ignore your posts.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>919087
so you are saying you bike is your sidekick?this is really nice corner I gotta say
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>919087
Speaking of self inserts, did my groceries ever come in? I'd love to serve some finger sandwiches
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>919087
Throw Toast at the Anon banished to the corner
>>
>>919090
What bike? It's a floating toaster. For your stupidity and general incompetence, you are now ignored.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>919097
Prep Time Toaster for Race
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>919097
But muh groceries!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>919097
that toaster was so unremarkable so it was upgraded to bike while you were awaywoo, third wall
it's getting comfier here
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>919103
Your groceries are lost to the time stream. Let's not dwell on them.
Now roll 2d100 to prep toaster
1-20: didn't do much
21-69: slight speed boost
70-89: slight boost to all stats
90-99: med boost to all stats
100: boost to all stats and you get your Time Jump meter filled out, allowing you to skip 1/3 of the track right off the bat
>>
Rolled 97, 61 = 158 (2d100)
>>919113
>>
Rolled 60, 18 = 78 (2d100)
>>919113
Is he eating my ice cream?!?
>>
Rolled 19, 7 = 26 (2d100)
>>919113
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>919117
You did not improve anything
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>919125
I didnt. He did.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>919125
gee, I wonder why
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>919127
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>919131
The time is now 9pm Temporal. Let the race begin
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>919135
Racers getting into position, the race's starting soon.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>919141
Rev up Time Engine
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>919141
Vroom
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>919143
Now roll 2d7 to see if you'll make it past the other racers at the start.
But since your prep did nothing you'll get a -1 to your results.
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d7)
>>919150
Dump the cans of soup for a boost!
>>
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d7)
>>919150
>>
Rolled 4 (1d7)
>>919150
>>
>>919153
Well that didn't help. You only managed to pass 2 racers, getting to 6th place
>>
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d7)
>>919150
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>919172
Throw Temporal Toast at other drivers to distract them
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>919172
toast bread from grocery bag
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>919172
Driiiiive!
>>
>>919185
Creeping up on the current 5th place
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>919189
Unleash the Toast upon your opponent
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>919189
Spring the toaster switch up that robot's ass
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
11KB, 500x500px
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>919195
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 14, 20 = 34 (2d100)
>>919201
Boing
>>
Rolled 36, 37 = 73 (2d100)
>>919201
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>919208
Dick Laserfist takes 5th place!
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>919215
Shift into Maximum Temporal Overdriver
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>919215
Reset the switch
>>
>>919220
It's not filled up yet, it increases with racer eliminations. Take out 2 more and it'll be full.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>919232
Then put the Pedal to the Floorboard
>>
>>919243
Right right, next is NRFS and his imouto: Fuckoff.
Please refrain yourself from flipping out at the fact that he has one and you don't.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>919254
restrain yourself
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>919254
Attempt to restrain yourself....
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>919262
Roll 3d100
First number decides who gets picked. Then if the second number is higher than the third number, you'll restrain yourself.
>>
Rolled 45, 81, 33 = 159 (3d100)
>>919266
>>
Rolled 93, 72, 73 = 238 (3d100)
>>919266
>>
File: 1.png (19KB, 500x500px)
19KB, 500x500px
>>919270
Welp, too bad. Now you can only do attack rolls against NRFS.
Downside is your results will be -10 due to your angry berserking throwing off your aiming programming
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>919287
So of course you decided to first...throw toast at him
roll 2d100
>>
>>919317
THere's nobody left in bread anyway, so everything's a moot point by now
>>
Dang it I missed the thread
>>
>>919610
Happens all the time now
>>
>>921715
It sucks,it feels as if The threads have been slowly dieing ever since the move to /qst/
Though at least I have the 1 on 1 DnD sessions with my brother to satisfy my wacky adventure shenanigans cravings, even if it annoys him at times since I tend to derail his plans on what he was going to do
Thread posts: 692
Thread images: 196
Thread images: 196