Hitman's Day Off

>>851554

Polish your katanas, because considering your aspect, you totally are a japan loving hitman

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>>851571
You grip your trusty weapon in your hands (worth only $3500.99). It makes you remember how wrong your dad was for criticizing you for your love of Japan (clearly the most superior country).

>>851584

Check if all your ninja stars are in order and are clean and free of blood. You kind of use them for ranged assassinations instead of a gun because you are that much of a weeb

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>>851609
Well fuck. There's a little blood on them; kinda happens when those ignorant kids at the store trash-talk you for being a total fucking weeb.

>>851627
Well clean that shit off. Blood is bad for the aerodynamics.

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>>851638
You clean the ninja stars and put them in your inventory. Might need them.

>>851668
Go pose on top of a building all cool-like.

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>>851684
You climb to the roof and stare at the city. A group of teens see you and holler "GAYYYYYYYY".

>>851704
Ninja stars.

>>851704

Those fucks! Nobody insults the great weeb hitman! You probably have spare change in your pocket, so bullseye them right in the forehead with five cent coins.

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>>851706
Six teens, six stars. Neatly arranged in a pile.

>>851730

Recover the ninja stars before the police links the murders to you.

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>>851738
Shit. It's your arch-nemesis, Robert Cop! His robotic gaze meets yours. He calls you down to fight.

>>851748

Those ninja stars are too important for you. Go below and face him in honorable japanese duel.

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>>851755
The battle begins!

>>851771

Slash at him with your katana, because everybody knows a katana is the strongest known metal in the world and can cut other metals with ease.

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Critical hit! Robert is taken aback momentarily!

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Robert Cop used Sigma Cannon! It would have been a fatality if not for (insert cheesy anime trope here)!

>>851855
The Power of Platonic Love keeps you alive as you push through the blast and give him a big hug.

With tears in your eyes and bleeding all over his cannon, you whisper something in his ear, smile gently and disappear in a puff of perfumed glittery smoke, taking your stars with you.

Robert Cop stands in the streets, buildings blazing, people screaming.
"LOVE MODE ENGAGED. HIT-SENPAI WILL BE MINE."

>>852101

Alas, hitman has disappeared, using one of his traditional japanese smoke bombs.

Now back in your home, treat those wounds, you almost died!

>>852118
We are now permanently disfigured from the horrible burns and we lost our throwing stars this was a terrible weekend.

We cry in the shower

>>852123
>We cry in the shower

>We also fap

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>>852118
Jesus fuck, are you missing an eye?!

>>852148

Shit shit shit! You know how in your japanese anime people gets cybernetics all the time? Go and get a good clinic to give you a cyber eye with all the good stuff a cyber eye comes with.

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You shower, and "chill out". You earned it after a terrible day off.

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The surgery was a success. The doctor went a little...overboard, however. Have a side-by-side comparison of yourself before and after. May take a few days to get used to it, "Rob Barker".

>>852181

Put on your ninja mask again. Just because you are a cyborg now doesn't mean you stopped loving being a weeb

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>>852230
You feel more powerful than ev-
Fuck, you missed lunch.

>>852307
We'll fuck man let's go make a sandwich.

>>851935
taking your stars with you
>>852123
>we lost our throwing stars
u wot m4t3

Sadly,that's all for today. Thanks for playing.

>>852434

Thanks OP for the quest, and laters

>>852434
Hitbot then made a sandwich and watched the next episode of Kill Me Baby before going to bed.
The next day he went back to work, uneasily anticipating his next day off.