Werewolf Reich 5: D&D Edition

"Ja... Komrade... Do my eyes decieve me?" He looks into a bush... And you follow him.

"What?"

"Look... There's a... Tavern. And a rustic village..." He points, and you see a small village, thatch roofs, wooden walls, but no palisade and farmland surrounding it... Not to mention a rather active tavern and you see... Tables set out, and streamers... It seems like the villagers are having a sort of festival, and you smell something... Delicious... You stalk in the forest silently, and see that there's even a bakery, complete with a young human female baking bread eagerly, applying frosting...

"They're holding a festival... I wonder where their food is at..."

You look up to a granary, and you smell delicious food coming from it... Apples, ham, steak... They're going all out it seems. Your stomach of course, rumbles... Damn it. You haven't had a good meal for a while.

"Stojan?"

"Huh? What?"

"...Have you noticed something?"

"What?"

There seems to be a small camp outside the village, with four figures sitting around it, one rather small man with heavy armor and an axe and shield, a greenskinned man in armor and plate, a woman wearing a rather fanciable black dress, and finally, another short man with a cape and hood on... And they seem to be happily drinking around a campfire, with the greenskin taking watch, lazily...
Something internally tells you if you were looking for wealth, to look at them for it... And finally, you see the center of town... A community board. Huh. Maybe Ivanka put where to find her or something?

Either way... This village is drawing you and Hans in... And the potential for an actual bed... Your tail wags at the thought of it.

Actions

>...Stroll into town calmly. Who cares if your a large bulky werewolf?
>...Hans and you should wait until morning at least to stroll into town...
>...Sneak into town... There's so much you could do...
>...Sneak towards the adventurers!
>Speaking of increasing your human diet... Maybe a small raid will do you some good...
>Hans is probably much less intimidating and friendly-looking. He'll go into town and try to get things for finding Ivanka...
>No... You don't like villages... Leave.
>Write-In

Going to sleep and answer questions in the morning anons. Sorry.

>>841142
>...Stroll into town calmly. Who cares if your a large bulky werewolf?
>Greet the people in the tavern.

>>841142
>...Stroll into town calmly. Who cares if your a large bulky werewolf?

Good chance that we're going to draw a lynch mob or something

"Come on, let's just calmly stroll into town, and head to the tavern!"

"Are you crazy?"

"Worst case scenario they're forced to belly rub us. Best case scenario we infect them and their entire village."

"Erh..."

"Come on then comrade!"

You begin to stroll towards the tavern...
Roll me a 1d20+3 for how well this goes. Additional +2 if you can show your nonviolent, and additional +3 if you can come up with a greeting!

Rolled 16 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>842043

16+3=19

Success!

You walk into the tavern, and the human patrons there stare at you... Then you hear one of them mutter something in their language, including the word "Gnoll" or something.

Roll me a 1d20-1 for how they'll treat Hans. Additional +3 if you can get him to look non-threatening or introduce him!

Rolled 4 - 1 (1d20 - 1)

>>842095

Rolled 19 - 1 (1d20 - 1)

>>842095

19-1=18

Good Success!

Hans gets less looks then you, and your fairly he's not even noticed... But he's quite nervous, you think.

"Stojan? Why are we here?!"

"Come on Hans, calm down..."

He stills looks rather nervous... But you'd like some beer, personally.

The tavern itself has a bard, and twenty patrons celebrating something... The tavernkeeper is rubbing mugs in the back, and you must admit, it feels rather cozy in here, with a nice fireplace in the middle, a bard singing, and a few tavern wenches bringing beer around...
Of course, the patrons seem to be rather happy, but you can tell that underneath that, they seem nervous...

Actions

>...Come on, maybe we can get a beer, comrade!
>...Calm him down. There's nothing to be worried about comrade!
>Talk to the patrons?
>...There's a bard playing music in here... Talk to him?
>...Get close to a patron like your about to ask him a question... Then bite him to infect!
>Ask a nearby patron if there's any free food.
>Let's get going... I don't like this place.
>Let's see if there's any jobs to do here. I'd like to get on good relations with them.
>Write-In

>>842542
>...Come on, maybe we can get a beer, comrade!

>>842542
>Talk to the patrons?
>Let's see if there's any jobs to do here. I'd like to get on good relations with them.

Why does Stojan keep on saying comrade? Is it a sign he's been spending a lot of time with Ivanka?

>>842554
This.

>>842554
Yes, actually. He spends a surprising amount of time around Russians and/or Germans.

"Come on, maybe we can get a beer. And we could get a job or two."

"Right... A beer would be nice."

That's when you sort of realize you don't have any money. Well, that's a problem...

You go up to one of the patrons and poke him on the back, but you are smart enough to remember to take Leopold's amulet, since we wasn't coming along, and you put it on.

"What? I'm trying to drink here." You note that he has a rather British accent, reminding you of one of your friends from the bunker.

"...I'm looking for a job. Is there any around?"

"Plenty, mate. Why's a gnoll like you lookin' for work anyways?"

Actions

>Well, I'm a nice person at heart. I hope.
>...I'm just trying to find something to do while I wait for my wife to find me, ok?
>I am not a gnoll, I am a fucking werewolf you fucking human, you don't even wear Adidas!
>...What's a gnoll?
>I just want money to get some food, God...
>Well, I just wanted something to do.
>Punch him for insulting you by calling you a Gnoll!
>Write-In

>>842577
>Well, I'm a nice person at heart. I hope.
...I'm just trying to find something to do while I wait for my wife to find me, ok?
Although my knowledge in D&D's is limited, I'm guessing that werewolves have a much more negative reputation then Gnolls. It's probably best if we just go along with being called a Gnoll.

>>842577
>Well, I'm a nice person at heart. I hope. And I need money for food.

"Well, I'm a nice person at heart. I hope. Also, I need money for food and I'm trying to wait for my wife to find me."

"Ah. Well, there's a few minor jobs. Like helping the tavern keeper... No offense, but I wouldn't want my food or drink touched by a gnoll."

"...Thanks. Anything else?"

"The mayor might have a job for you, like constructing the palisade, pays good from what I hear, but everyone's mostly focused on the harvest."

"Is that all? Or is there anything else?"

"There's that local cunt, the nearby sergeant of the garrison. Fucker's mean from what I hear mate."

"What jobs do you think he'd have?"

"...Probably getting us to pay his fuckin' damned taxes so he can get himself a nice dinner or trying to make us accept the rule of that cuntbag who can't even protect his own fuckin' people..."

"Erh, who's that?"

"You haven't heard of the new King John the Fourth, eh? Well, you'll hate him soon enough..."

Actions

>...So, why do people hate this King John? Or is it just you?
>I'll talk to the mayor.
>...Walk away to talk to the Sergeant?
>Yeah, a small job is probably best, like cleaning dishes. Ask the tavernkeeper if there's any.
>Write-in

>>842634
>I'll talk to the mayor.

"I'll talk to whoever I need to, and I'll help build the palisade."

"Right, good luck then."

Within the next thirty minutes, you find a man with a rather fancy mustache eating a steak rather finely. He even has a fancy coat for God's sake. not to mention a monocle. This must be the mayor, so you tap him on the shoulder with your claws.

"Hello?"

He turns around to look you in the face... Which causes him to turn pale white. Right, people don't like pearly white fangs in the face. He does however shake this off and takes out a handkerchief and wipes his head with it.

"Ah, pardon me, I must of not of seen you there! You erh, scared me, good sir!" For god's sake, he even talks like a British gentleman... He holds out his hand to shake yours.

Actions

>Sorry, I sometimes forget that I'm a little intimidating to look that.
>...Are you going to finish that steak?
>Shake his hand!
>Sorry, I don't shake hands. I might cut you or something.
>Nice monocle. Can I have it?
>I'm looking for work. I heard no one was working on the pallisade.
>...Excuse me, but I have no fucking idea where I am. Can you tell me where I am?
>Write-In

>>842716
>I'm looking for work. I heard no one was working on the pallisade.

>>842722
This.

"I'm looking for work, I heard no one was working on the palisade."

"Ah, right! I nearly had forgotten about that... Every day you'll get paid... Let's say, twelve coppers... And once the work's completed, you'll get a nice ten gold!"

Actions

>Wait... Actual gold?
>Sure, I don't see why not.
>Have anything else?
>Who else is doing the work with me?
>...Do I get a residence to stay in during the time?
>...Grab Hans and say he's helping you.
>...Try to get paid more. That twelve coppers per day is barely enough to get by, you assume!
>Write-in

>>842786
>...Grab Hans and say he's helping you.
>Sure, I don't see why not.
Make sure that Hans gets payed as well for helping to build the wall.

You grab Hans behind the neck and hold him up.

"This little guy is helping me too. Any problems?"

"No, I think I can pay the two of you fairly."

"Thank you... Now, when do I get startred?"

"Now! I'll send the lumberjacks to send wood to you."

You nod your head, and take Hans with you...

So of course, you begin construction of a palisade around the village... It'll take a few days, that's for sure.

PoV Change anons?

>Ivanka, and try to find Stojan!
>...Building the Wall as Stojan! And the gimmicks that follow!

>>842811
>Ivanka, and try to find Stojan!
If Ivanka and Kutyvoka find the village they can help with making the palisade. Also they just blew up an Orc village if I recall so that should be interesting.

Yeah. They're right in the middle of it.

You aim your rifle carefully down the hill into the orc village, which has quickly become chaotic from the explosion and fire... The village is trying to put out the fire with water from a well, led by their chieftain, while plenty of civilians seem to be running away into the forest to escape the fire...

Actions

>Continue sniping! Aim at the chieftain!
>Get closer to the village, your starving!
>Get closer to the village, maybe you can help people escape? You have no problem with them really.
>Retreat back into the forest! You've done your job here!
>Get closer to the village to try and rescue the slaves!
>Write-In

File: IMG_1465.jpg (30KB, 500x268px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 500x268px

>>842851
>Get closer to the village to try and rescue the slaves!

I guess we're playing the heroes now? Weird.

Weird indeed.

In a stunning display of conscious and morality, you decide to rescue the slaves.

So... What exactly are your reasons for this?

>...Well, slaves taste better freed. And your hungry. (No moral change!)
>...You don't really like the idea of slaves being enslaved to the bourgeois! Stop them! (No moral change!)
>...Well... You have mostly been a bitch towards people, as in eating them. You should do something nice for once. (Ivanka will try to become nicer and less "nom nom")
>Well, they'd make good fodder for lycanthropes... (No Moral Change)
>This feels... Wrong. Change your mind.
>Write-In for other reasons!

>>842905
>...Well... You have mostly been a bitch towards people, as in eating them. You should do something nice for once. (Ivanka will try to become nicer and less "nom nom")

You settle on trying to be nicer... Even if it's not likely you'll keep course with that!

And maybe continue to stop trying to eat people... You are an addict after all...

You rush down to the village's pallisade, and begin to climb over... Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can sneak in! Additional +1 if you can be regretful about actions you've done in the past and what you should of done!

Bumping!

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>842964
I probably shouldn't have eaten all those kids. Also eating all those people in general ruined my figure.

Huh. Well, allowing samefagging for more regretful thoughts!

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>843158
Maybe I shouldn't have eaten the entire barracks worth of personal except Pelevina. I'm trying to remember other stuff she's done. Got any?

>>843185
Fuck, I don't remember half of the time.

11+5=16

Borderline Success!

You sneak in, and begin crawling through bushes on the other side of the palisade to the slave dens, virtually undetected... As you get to the other side, you see the fire is about to encompass the slave pen, and the slavers about to leave... Leaving you two options...

Actions

>Go save the slaves!
>Go after the slavers!
>...You aren't risking your tail (which doesn't exist) to save some slaves! Run away!
>Write-In

>>843198
>Go save the slaves!
To be fair, we could probably dedicate a entire page of the character sheet to people Ivaka's murdered.

>>843198
>Go save the slaves!
Saving slaves first
Slaughtering slavers later

You decide to save the slaves, and you rush to their cells...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see how many you can save! If it's over seventeen, you have saved all the slaves... Additional +1 if you can give yourself encouragement!

Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>843226
Maybe something good might happen if we save them?
Hopefully.
We might get some sort of reward or something

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>843226
They deserve freedom just as much as anyone else.

Critical Success!

You rip off the slave's cages, freeing all of them from burning alive... You get plenty of cheers from the many races in there as they begin to flee, and you see that the slavers are beginning to flee... You do feel a little stronger for some reason, and the slavers aren't that far away!

Actions

>Encourage the slaves to attack their masters?
>Chase after the slavers!
>Flee the fire withe slaves!
>Write-In

>>843283
Attempt to rally the slaves around us as a leader then charge the slavers with them.
We are the leader and the hero they need

>>843283
>Encourage the slaves to attack their masters?
What types of slaves are these again? I think they were mostly dwarves, humans and maybe something else.

Roll me a 1d20+5 for Communist Revolu- I mean, encouraging the slaves to attack their masters.
This is not a communist revolution, comrade.
Additional +4 if you can give a speech so slaves attack!

Rolled 6 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>843306
Fuck those greenskins!

Rolled 3 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>843306
>If you want revenge on the bastards that enslaved you then follow me comrades. To victory and glory! for mother Russia!

Allowing samefag.

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>843325
Shitty roll inbound

Rolled 11 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>843325
Remov bourgeoisie

8+9=18

Success!

You give a small speech about fucking Greenskins, and charge right at them. The slavers however, have begun to flee out of the village on horseback, and now you must catch up to them...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you and your ex-slaves can catch up! Additional +3 if you can think of a way to go faster on foot!

Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>843344
For Ivanka at least, since she's a Lycanthrope, she could go on all fours which would help in the snow covered area. I think.

Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>843344
Rollan
>>843363
Damnit

Critical Failuer!

You go to all fours... And trip over your large stomach. You curse yourself silently for being this fat, and the slaves help you up... The slavers seem to have disappeared from view... Goddamn it, you are either really bad with running on all fours, or your just a fucking fatass. Or both. The slaves talk in a strange language which you cannot understand, sadly.

Actions.

>Try to hunt down the slavers...
>...Fuck it, try to find the nearest village... You need a drink.
>...Where's Kutyvoka? Try to find her.
>...Silently wish for exercising equipment. You'd rather be strong then fat... (Try to resolve to be more fit... If you can get the determination to do so.)
>Write-in

>>843395
>...Where's Kutyvoka? Try to find her.
>...Silently wish for exercising equipment. You'd rather be strong then fat... (Try to resolve to be more fit... If you can get the determination to do so.)

I guess it's time to fix some of Ivanka's character.

>>843395
>...Silently wish for exercising equipment. You'd rather be strong then fat... (Try to resolve to be more fit... If you can get the determination to do so.)
>...Fuck it, try to find the nearest village... You need a drink.
Plus we should probably get the slaves out of the snow.

You silently wish for exercising equipment... And try to search for Kutyvoka.

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can actually get the determination to do that. Additional +3 if you can think of why being fit is better then being fat.
Additional +1 if that reason includes Stojan.

Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>843428
Because stojan might find us even more attractive then we are now.
Also our pride as a sniper.

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>843428
It'll be easier to get in bed and cuddle with Stojan.

12+7=19

Borderline Success!

You decide that maybe getting /fit/ and being able to cuddle without the fear of crushing Stojan is ENOUGH to warrant at least one session of exercise... You'd probably want to do it more often if there was chocolate cake at the end... Hmh... Cake...
You shake that out your head. Bourgeois cake may be delicious and filling, but is capitalist lies, clearly.
But still, cake...

Either way, you go to find Kutyvoka... And you reunite with her, and you tisk at her not helping. The two of you and your ex-slaves go to find a village... Roll me 1d20+3 to find village.

Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>843465

Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>843465

You seem to be an expert in finding villages, and after a bit you see a village with a half-constructed wall around it... And Stojan and Hans... Your slaves leave you to go to their families/homes, and you rush out to see Stojan!

You are now Stojan, and you see... Kutyvoka and Ivanka rushing at you. You wave hello and smile, seeing Ivanka with her big beautiful stomach, and two of you kiss and hug, while Hans just awkwardly stands around.

"Stojan, where were you?" Ivanka says, as the two of you hug.

"Well, I couldn't find you... So I just stayed where I was."

She seems overjoyed to see you, mostly because he has a slight smile... And hugs you harder.

Actions

>Come on, let's find somewhere private so we can catch up. I missed you too.
>...Want to help me build a wall to keep monsters out?
>...Nose rub her with your nose!
>I missed you too.
>...Poke her on the stomach. Boop.
>Are you hungry at all?
>Write-in

>>843539
>I missed you too.
>...Want to help me build a wall to keep monsters out?
Give her something to do in order to lose weight. Also Stojan is clearly prefers bellies over asses or breasts

"I missed you too Ivanka, but we can celebrate later... Do you want to build a wall to keep monsters out?"

"Well... Why?"

"Why not?"

Roll me a 1d20+6 to convince her to help you... (+2 from her trying to get more fit), additional +3 if you can convince her or do cute things to her.

Rolled 6 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>843576
Rub our nose against hers.

Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>843576
This wall will offer freedom to people of this village by protecting them from outside dangers.

Allowing samefag in exchange for cute or convincing arguments.

Rolled 9 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>843620
Scratch behind her ears for increased effectiveness

9+9=18

Success!

You rub your nose against hers... And scratch her behind the ears. She likes it, it seems.

"Come on, a wall will offer more freedom to the villagers by protecting them from outside dangers..."

"Well... I guess... Can you just scratch my ears a little more?"

"Not until you help."

"...Fine...."

She begins to help... Mostly by digging, she isn't strong enough yet to lift a stake up yet...

But soon.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to build the wall and how well made it is. Additional +3 if you can coach Ivanka and Hans for lacking strength and try to push them to do better!

And yes, Kutyvoka is actually slightly stronger then Ivanka.

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>843662
>Lift with your knees not your back.

Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>843662
Lift with your knees and not your back

Also how is Kutyvoka stronger then Ivanka?

Rolled 5 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>843662

>>843687
Fuck, I have no idea. I think Kutyvoka is just more in shape then she is.

12+7=19

Good Success!

Eventually your family finishes setting up the palisade, but all of you are too tired to do anything... So you head to the free room provided by the Mayor in the tavern, and everyone is forced to cuddle on the small bed... Which is both uncomfortable, but comfy.

"...Why the fuck are w-"

You shush Hans, as you hug your wife and Kutyvoka. He's mostly just on the top of the pile to avoid squishing. Which is easier said then done.

"...Stojan... What exactly are we doing here anyways?" Ivanka says next to you, once everyone falls asleep.

"Ah... Well..."

Actions

>I just think ruling is a little boring at times. So we're on vacation now...
>...Well, mostly sightseeing...
>Fuck, I don't know honestly.
>Want to go home?
>Think about this as a romantic retreat...
>Well, maybe we should bring Poland here then, if you think this is a little boring...
>...Hug her tighter!
>You know... Tomorrow the two of us are going to relax. And try to get you in shape.
>Write-In

>>843719
>I just think ruling is a little boring at times. So we're on vacation now...
>You know... Tomorrow the two of us are going to relax. And try to get you in shape.
>...Hug her tighter!

>>843728
This.

>>843719
>I just think ruling is a little boring at times. So we're on vacation now...
>...Well, mostly sightseeing...
>...Hug her tighter!

We should get at least something out of this trip. Preferably something like a magical sword.

"You know, I just think ruling is a little boring at times. So, we're on vacation now... And you know what that means. We're going to relax and try and get you in shape."

You hug her tighter, nuzzling your face in her belly. So soft...

"I love you, Ivanka... Now, let's get some sleep..."

You go to sleep with your family, and after a while, you wake up with Ivanka and get out of bed with her... Everyone else hasn't woken up yet. Your stomach also rumbles a little. Great.

Actions

>Go get your pay from the mayor!
>Come on Ivanka, let's go exercise... I'll be with you all the way!
>Hey, Ivanka? Want to go exploring?
>Ivanka, why don't we hunt bandits or something?
>Let's go hunt animals Ivanka, it'll be fun. Besides, maybe we'll kill some fucking bears...
>Write-in

>>843758
>Come on Ivanka, let's go exercise... I'll be with you all the way!

"Come on Ivanka, let's work out!"

"Do we have to..." She groans while in bed...

"Come on, this isn't one of your lazy days, is it?"

She sighs.

"...Can't I get more sleep please?"

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can get her to exercise! Additional +3 if you can bribe her, be cute about it, be forceful, or encourage her!

Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>843851
Scratch behind her ear.
Rub her belly if we can.
And rub our noses together.

This should be effective encouragement

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>843851

Critical Success!

You rub her ears, her belly, and rub her nose! She finally groans in defeat.

"...Fine... I guess we can exercise."

You hug her, and she begrudgingly gets up... As you head out, she seems determined to exercise...

Ivanka has upgraded additionally through unknown causes!

Choose one!

>Fluffy Tail: Ivanka gets +1 to Agility and Charisma, and in fact, has a fluffy tail.
>Very Fast Metabolism: Ivanka loses weight much faster, but gets more hungry, but she also gets mutations faster.
>Clawed Feet: Ivanka's feet grow sharp claws, turning her kicks into lethal weapons, giving her a +1 to Agility and letting her not trip on rough terrain.
>Large Upgrade: Ivanka becomes a little bigger by three more feet, and more tough and durable. She gets +1 to Strength, but a -1 to Agility, and +50 HP.

>>843904
>Very Fast Metabolism: Ivanka loses weight much faster, but gets more hungry, but she also gets mutations faster.
More upgrades to.

>>843904
>Very Fast Metabolism: Ivanka loses weight much faster, but gets more hungry, but she also gets mutations faster.
This is definitely the best.

Ivanka's stomach growls as you head out. The two of you seem to also be rather hungry.

"Can we eat something, Stojan?"

You are also hungry... And you only have enough money to buy a steak.

Actions

>...Well... Fine, I guess... Buy her a steak to eat.
>...If you want, we could eat someone, together.
>No, it's better to exercise with an empty stomach, Ivanka.
>Pat her on the stomach to remind her of her weight!
>...Only if you do an hour of exercising.
>...You exercise, and I'll get you breakfast, ok?
>Write-In

>>843942
>...If you want, we could eat someone, together.
Let's go hunting

"Come on, let's go hunt something or someone, together."

"Sure, comrade..."

Actions

>Go hunt humans/humanoids!
>...Sneak over to the bakery and get her a cake. She loves cake. Even if she won't admit it aloud to you.
>Go hunt animals!
>Write-in

>>843985
>Go hunt animals!
Although if some Orcs present themselves I won't mind eating them

You decide to hunt animals...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to find animals or Orcs!

Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>844037

19+5=24

The two of you find a elk wandering around, and the two of you prepare to pounce!

Roll me a 1d20+6 to nom elk.

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>844087
Those elk are obviously capitalist scum

18+6=24

Great Success!

You slam the elk onto the ground, and rip out it's throat. You eat a little bit of it, and Ivanka tears into it, starving. And burps. So of course, you poke her in the nose and the two of you look for a place to exercise, setting to decide next to a river...

You start her off with some push ups... She sighs, and gets on the ground, ready to do some push ups.

Actions

>...Go extremely easy on her. Just ten push ups should do it.
>...Go easy on her. Twenty five is enough.
>Go for the army average... Fifty.
>You want the best from your wife... Seventy five.
>...Go brutal on her. One hundred.
>...A good alternate from push ups is tumbling... Maybe she'd like that more...
>Write-in

>>844132
>Go for the army average... Fifty.
Eventually we can move her up to one hundred

You go for the average...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if Ivanka can achieve this!
Additional +2 if you act like a drill sergeant, or a +1 if you encourage her.

Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>844144
>Come on and give me fifty! Proper stance with no breaks! I wanna see you sweat!
If she starts slacking say Hans could do better

Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>844144

Critical Success!

"Come on and give me fifty! Proper stance, no breaks! I want to see you sweat!"

She easily surprasses this, and gets to about eighty before being unable to continue... You visibly see her lose more of her wonderful belly, and you assume she lost three pounds just from that... Of course, judging from how much she weighs, you still have a lot to go for.

She of course, takes a short break, and you move onto jumping jacks...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how many she can do, and if you have a specific number, say it.
Additional +2 if you can encourage her or act like a drill sergeant!

Rolled 17 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>844227
A small workout of one million jumping jacks.
(I'm joking 100 should be enough)
>Come on you got a great start keep it up

17+7=24

Good Success!

She continues to exercise, belly flying up and down as she jumps up and down. You encourage her, and after one-hundred and four jumping jacks, slumps to the ground, tired... You measure her stomach, and see it's reduced slightly, and she weighs one and a half pounds less...

Actions

>Give her a break.
>Cuddle next to her for a minute...
>...Come on, next up is swimming in this river...
>Come on, next up is swimming in this river with me.
>...Rub her head and tell her she's losing weight fast!
>...Try to find something for her to bench press. You want her stronger, damn it!
>Write-In

File: aa49c5e2d8f36ebaf9f35330db67595c.jpg (50KB, 576x576px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 576x576px

>>844341
>...Try to find something for her to bench press. You want her stronger, damn it!
More gainz

You decide you want to put some muscle on her... So you try to find something for her to benchpress...

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can make something for her to benchpres that's heavy enough to be a struggle!

Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>844381
Rolling for good weights

Allowing samefagging.

Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>844396
Proper gainz need proper weights

Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>844396
And the best gainz require the heaviest of weights

13+3=16

Borderline Success!

You find a few heavy rocks and put them on a heavy stick... You take it back to Ivanka, and tell her to bench press. It seems only slightly hard for her...

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see how many she can do. A -4 but more gainz if you can make it harder for her.

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844453
Half the reps and have her two do sets.Each set with one arm switching arms after a set.
Gotta maximize the gainz

Samefagging allowed anons.

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844471
Maybe soon we can get rid of stojan fetish for big bellies

Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844471
Last roll.

10+4=14

Borderline Success!

She lifts it up, but you tell her to do half the reps, and you make a second set, each arm switching... The weights are uneven though, and she breezes through it on her left arm, and has a struggle with her right arm, which rotates with the weights...

By the end of it, she's lost three pounds, but her stomach is still huge, but at least two centimeters smaller. You boop it for good effect, and are sad to see that it jiggles slightly less.

You also feel her muscles, and they've grown a little stiffer then before...

So you set this routine into rotation... Roll me a 1d20+5 for weight loss and muscle gain!

File: download (71).jpg (12KB, 269x187px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 269x187px

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844547
>Uneven gainz
That triggered the shit out of me

Allowing samefagging if you can give her encouragement!

Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844600
>Come on you have already lost so much weight. You're doing great.
How big is her stomach anyways?

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>844600
>I'll scratch you behind the ears how you like it.
Final roll for gainz

>>844612
Quite large, enough to be noticeable, but not freakishly huge. Essentially, slightly poking out from her shirt.

"Come on, you can do it. I'll scratch you behind the ears just how you like it!"

She seems extremely determined for you to scratch her ears, and works double time...

Within four hours, she loses a surprising amount of weight... Nearly twenty pounds! Jesus... She also has some muscle now. Not a lot, but enough where her arm isn't squishy. Sadly, her stomach has slightly deflated in size.

"Good job Ivanka! You look better already!"

She is so utterly exhausted, she passes out on the snowy ground...

Actions

>Grab her, and haul her back... Maybe you can finally lift her now.
>Soon you'll be able to get off your diet if your a good girl!
>...Fulfill your promise of scratching her ears.
>...Try to wake her up?
>Promise that you'll make her the most fit werewolf in history. Then you'll try to one up her.
>Write-In

>>844667
>Grab her, and haul her back... Maybe you can finally lift her now.
How the hell did stojan even get a stomach fetish?

>>844672
Eh, he spent enough time around Ivanka and sort of just got used to it. Wasn't overnight, mind you.
And can be reversed, he's just in phase of acceptation.[/spoiler[

You grab Ivanka, and begin to carry her back... She weighs less now, thank God.

You haul her back, and go and get paid from the Mayor... He does mention he has another job if you feel like building more things, but you decide to take a nap with Ivanka for a while.

After slightly more comfortable cuddling, you get back up... You still need a job to do.

Actions

>...Maybe you should try to hike back up that mountain to the portal. It's not really worth it to be here...
>...Go exploring for a dungeon or something. You'd like some fancy loot...
>Just wake up Ivanka and talk to her.
>Sleep a while.
>...Go find Kutyvoka!
>Go find Hans.
>Write-in

>>844688
>...Go exploring for a dungeon or something. You'd like some fancy loot...
But first scratch ivanka behind the ears.

You scratch Ivanka behind the ears, and she seems to like it quite a bit. Eventually you settle on gong to a dungeon...

But... Who will you take with you?

>Ivanka! She needs to get more fit!
>Hans, he's a short lizardguy. He can help you get in places you can't really go!
>Kutyvoka is a cutie. And besides, you haven't really hanged out with her.
>...Your going solo. You want some time to just be by yourself.
>Write-in

>>844706
>Ivanka! She needs to get more fit!
>Hans, he's a short lizardguy. He can help you get in places you can't really go!
>Kutyvoka is a cutie. And besides, you haven't really hanged out with her.
It seems pretty traditional for a party to have four people.

You bring along everyone!

"Ivanka? Come on. We're going exploring now!"

She groans.

"Haven't I exercised enough, comrade?"

"...Comrade, you barely exercised at all..."

She puts a crude pillow over her ears, and you sigh...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to get her to come along... Additional +3 if you can do anything to get her to go with you!

Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>844735
Tickle her.
Mercilessly

12+8=20

Good Success!

You tickle her without mercy, and she falls off the bed laughing... Muahaha...

"Fine! Fine! I'll go!" She laughs more and seems to be squeamish... You can't remember the last time she ever laughed.

Actions

>Tickle her more.
>Kiss her!
>You know... Why don't we tumble a little before we go? We haven't done that for two days.
>Pick her up and bring her with you!
>Write-In

>>844756
>Tickle her more.
>Kiss her!
True villains know the power of tickling

You tickle her more... And give her a kiss as you tickle her.

"W-what do you want! Please, stop!"

You laugh evilly as you tickle her and kiss her more... And she stops you by hugging you. For a minute. Then you tickle her in the armpits.

"Stop! Stop!" She says while going into tears laughing...

Actions

>More tickling!!
>...Only if you let me tumble you!
>...Boop her on the nose.
>Cuddle up to her.
>Tickle her until she likes it, damn it!
>Hug her!
>Grab her and bring her with you!
>Write-in

>>844791
>More tickling!!
>...Only if you let me tumble you!
>...Boop her on the nose.

You tickle her more, and boop her on the nose!

"Well, only if you let me tumble you."

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if she's in the mood after you've tickled her. Additional +3 if you can make this more dire then it seems, or compliment her!

Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>844820
Say that she looks beautiful.
But even more so with the smile she has on her face.

16+6=22

Good Success!

"Come on Ivanka... Your beautiful even more now, but even more so with that smile on your face... Come on, you wanna tumble, don't you?"

"F-Fine! Alright!"

You stop it, and her smile fades away.

"This is only because your so rough with your tickling comrade..."

"Oh yeah, I know..."

Roll me a 1d20+5 for tumbling.

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>844873
Rolling for quality

Allowing for samefagging anons!

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>844898
Rolling for higher quality

>>844898
Last roll

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>844918
Captcha ate my dice
>>844898
My true final roll

16+5=21

Good Success!

You tumble her long and hard on the floor, her moaning in pleasure... When you hear a knock on the door... From the tavern keeper.

"Whatever your doing in there, stop it! I have guests out here that can hear you loud and clear!"
How rude... You were right in the middle of it!

Actions

>Growl loudly, if he doesn't go away, you'll go through that door and kick his ass!
>...Tumble harder. Block out his protests with the sound of tumbling.
>Fine, you'll stop...
>...Try to find something to quiet Ivanka.. Like a pillow in her mouth.
>Yell back at him to fuck off!
>Oh, he doesn't want you to tumble in his tavern, eh? Direction your tumble to go outside, where everyone can see you. Let's see him protest now!
>Write-In

>>844950
>Growl loudly, if he doesn't go away, you'll go through that door and kick his ass!
Interrupting werewolves mid tumble is a bad idea

Roll me a 1d20+4 to intimidate him. Additional +3 if you can or do anything intimidating or threaten him.

Rolled 16 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>845007
>If you wanted me to kill you. You could've just asked.

16+7=23

Good Success!

You growl at the door, angry.

"If you wanted me to kill you, you could of just asked!"

The tavernkeeper gets the message and backs away from the door, and you continue to tumble Ivanka...
After a little while, the two of you cuddle on the floor...

"...That tavernkeeper is an asshole..." She growls.

"Yeah."

You hug up against her...

"Stojan?"

"Yeah?"

"...I love you, you know?"

"I know."

The two of you sweetly hug..

"Hey... I was wondering something..."

"What?"

"...Why did you infect me in the first place, Stojan?"

Actions

>...It was accidental, believe it or not, Ivanka.
>...Well, I thought you looked better with fur.
>Because, I planned to turn you into the greatest wolf queen this world has ever seen...
>Oh, you know... Reasons.
>...Hey, Ivanka? Feel like tumbling some more?
>...We should apologize to the innkeeper. We did tumble in his tavern...
>...Let's go take care of the innkeeper... He keeps giving me dirty looks, like he doesn't like more something...
>Write-In

>>845047
>...It was accidental, believe it or not, Ivanka.
>But either way I still love you.

"It was accidental, believe it or not, Ivanka... But either way, human or werewolf, I still love you."

"How sweet... I was terrified at first... Now it just feels normal. Hey, Stojan?"

"Yeah?"

"...What would we do if we just became human suddenly. It's a hypothetical question."

Actions

>...I'd try to become a werewolf again, honestly.
>...I don't want to think about that... I mean, at that point I would of commutited murder and cannibalism... I would be a social pariah.
>...I'd continue to rule Poland, why?
>...I'd probably go to a cabin with you, and live the rest of my days there.
>...Well... Let me ask you a hypothetical question too...
>Write-in

>>845107
>...I'd probably go to a cabin with you, and live the rest of my days there.
Ideally said cabin would be in an undisclosed location so we don't get revenge murdered.

"Well, I'd probably go to a cabin with you, and live the rest of my days out there with you."

She hugs you tightly, and kisses you.

"Thank you... That's sweet of you, Stojan."
She passes out on your shoulder... Weren't you going to do something else besides tumble her?

Naah.

You pass out next to her...

Eventually you wake up again, with the door opening... It's probably that fucking bartender... And you prepare to pounce him as you open your teeth...

"Hey, Stojan."

Oh, it's just Hans.

"...What?"

"Oh scheisse, am I in the middle of something?"

"...Well, not right now."

"I mean, the two of you are nake-"

"I know, damn it. What do you want?"

"I was just coming in to get my clothes... I dug a hole outside of town which I'm sleeping in, thank you very much."

"...Why?"

"Because being inbetween sweaty wehrwolves is not what I like doing while I sleep..."

Actions

>Right. Well, have fun.
>You can always come to the cuddle pile later, you know.
>Good. I didn't want people think I was gay or anything.
>...Could I come too?
>Want to adventure soon? It'll be fun.
>Write-In

>>845172
>Want to adventure soon? It'll be fun.
Adventure time soon.

"Want to adventure soon?"

"Well, yeah. I didn't really like being here in the first place."

"Great... Now, can you leave?"

"Sure. Want me to tell Kutyvoka?"

"Sure."

You cuddle up against Ivanka, scratching her behind the ears... She seems happy, quite happy in fact...

"Stojan?" She yawns... Which means you boop her on the nose.

"Yeah?"

"...Want to annoy the tavern keeper more?"

"Back in the mood, eh?"

"Well... Yeah... And besides, it's good exercise, comrade Stojan."

Actions

>I like your attitude... Part two, coming right up.
>...Just a question... Do you feel like spicing this up a little? I'm sure the two of us have ideas.
>...Let's do it louder this time, I'd like to see him hesitate to knock.
>I'd rather not do... Well, annoy the tavern keeper. Sorry.
>...Only if you come with me on an adventure...
>Write-In

>>845200
>...Only if you come with me on an adventure...
>...Let's do it louder this time, I'd like to see him hesitate to knock.
I must sleep OP.
G'night.

"Only if you come with me on an adventure... And let's do it louder this time. Let's see if we can terrify him..."

Roll me a 1d20+7. Additional +2 if you can yell anything to annoy the bartender.

Rolled 1 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>845233
God were doing this again.

Going for loudest shag!

>>845472
. . . Fucking hell.

Critical Dick Failure!

As you rise up to tumble... You just... You don't really feel in the mood, and just cuddle next to Ivanka.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I can't get it on."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah..."

You sigh sadly.

"...That's kind of sad."

"I know..."

She sighs.

"Seriously though..."

"I can't!"

Roll me a 1d20 to see if she's disappointed. Additional +3 if you can come up with an excuse.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>845498
>I can't get hard. You're just too fat!

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>845498

>>845498
All I ever wanted was to cuddle

19+3=22

Good Success.

You think about telling her that she's just too fat, but that would be a lie. And probably would end up with you getting slapped, kicked, or bitten in revenge. So you decide against pissing her off.

"Well.. I just feel like cuddling..."

"Oh."

So the two of you cuddle for a bit as you stroke her calmly...

"...Stojan?"

"Yeah?"

"...Why exactly do you act so doglike at times?"

"Well, why do you like belly rubs and getting scratched behind the ears?"

"Well... It just feels right... And feels good when your doing it."

"Besides, it's cute and adorable, Ivanka... It can make the toughest werewolf like me into an adorable puppy..."

Actions

>...Hey, do you want a belly rub right now?
>I have an idea to piss off the tavern keeper. I'll rub you so hard that you'll fucking love it, like when we tumble.
>...What, do you think it's immature or something?
>Do you want me to stop?
>So, want to get going on adventuring?
>Write-In

>>846474
>...What, do you think it's immature or something?
>Do you want me to stop?

>>846474
>I have an idea to piss off the tavern keeper. I'll rub you so hard that you'll fucking love it, like when we tumble.

"What, do you think it's immature or something? Do you want me to stop?"
You of course, begin rubbing her very hard...

"What? I just thought it was strange gimmick of yours... Oh... Yeah... That feels good..."

Actions

>...You know, maybe I should stop acting so doglike. It's weird, and kind of freaks out humans. (Stop being puppylike when happy!)
>It's just our unique brand of culture, sweetie... (Try to establish this as lycanthrope culture!)
>...Come on, why don't you try getting more belly rubs from strangers and give some to other lycanthropes? That's how we build a community, Ivanka. (Try to get her to act more puppylike!)
>...I don't change for no one. Not even you. Sorry.
>Write-In

By the way, running EDQ here.

>>846519

But I'm still running this thread too, so I'm just multitasking today. Yay for having no life!

>>846535
>...Come on, why don't you try getting more belly rubs from strangers and give some to other lycanthropes? That's how we build a community, Ivanka. (Try to get her to act more puppylike!)
Then we can train her to get off on belly rubs
>>846540
Only normalfags have lives

>>846535
>...Come on, why don't you try getting more belly rubs from strangers and give some to other lycanthropes? That's how we build a community, Ivanka. (Try to get her to act more puppylike!)

>>846559
Yeah. It's not like there are any sex demons trying to claim our soul in WRQ yet

"Come on, you need to get more belly rubs from everyone, and give some out in return..."

Roll me a 1d20+3 to see if you can get her to like being belly rubbed.
Additional +3 if you can make this even more enjoyable for her.

Rolled 7 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>846598
Scratch behind her ears.
It'd be good if she got off on that too.

Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>846598
Make it really thorough and don't miss a single spot.

14+6=20

Good Success!

You rub her harder then you've ever rubbed before, and she loves it... You even scratch her behind the ears as the two of you roll around...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if Ivanka's new fetish is this shit.

Additional +2 if you can make her enjoy it even more, or try to flirt with her more. (Additional +1 if that includes her stomach, thanks to Stojans "thing" with her stomach.)

Rolled 9 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>846630
Whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>846630

Rolled 1 (1d20)

11+5=16

Border Check!

Roll me a 1d20 anons, and I'll roll a 1d20! First roll only!

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>846701
Lel
Looks like she has a new fetish

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>846701
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Well.

I fucking did a critical failure, it seems.

She begins to get wet. It seems she... Well, she had a suppressed love of belly rubs in the first place... So you being to rub her harder in order to annoy the shit out of the tavern keeper, because fuck that guy.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to cater to Ivanka's fetish and try and go as loud as possible.

Also, welcome to 4chan newfags, where we give women strange fetishes.

Rolled 14 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>846725
>Get's wet from belly rubs
Remember when this used to be a quer about a werewolf soldier after they escaped the Nazis?
Now it's weird werewolf fetish quest

Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>846725

>>846737
I think it was always destined to be this. Ecspecially since I think the Nazi experiment was about werewolves.

>>846737
This always happens when anons go on vacation. They try to make their wives like weird shit.

14+6=20

Good Success.

She goes extremely loud, and the rest of the tavern just goes silent as you rub her... Yes. This is truly a productive use of time.

After a bit, you hear a slam on the door.

"What did I tell you two! Stop! Your driving customers away!"

Actions

>Get up, and give the final solution to the tavernkeeper for annoying you.
>Louder, Ivanka! Come on!
>Ignore him.
>...This is fucking weird. Stop.
>Growl and intimidate the tavernkeeper again!
>Throw something at the door!
>Write-in

>>846769
It was like how EDQ started as the story of a newborn dragon and quickly became tumblemainia
>>846776
>Growl and intimidate the tavernkeeper again!
Shut up damnit!
We're doing God's work.

I think it went all downhill as soon as I introduced female characters.
No complaints from me, since we get stuff done in between the sex, and in this quest there's a lot less then in EDQ.

>>846788
I was the one who set this into motion by suggesting we pick up some qt's

Roll me a 1d20+4 to intimidate the tavern keeper. Additional +2 if you can yell anything intimidating to him. Additional +1 if it's in all caps.

Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>846804
>INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE
Growl more for added effect

18+7=25

Good Success!

"IF YOU INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!!"

The tavernkeeper pauses.

"...Please?" He says.

Actions

>No. Now go the fuck away.
>...Open a window, and threaten to rub her so hard the entire village hears.
>Escalate to tumbling Ivanka!
>Ignore him and go back to rubbing Ivanka!
>...What did you just say? Go out there to take care of him.
>Fine... Quiet Ivanka down...
>Write-In

>>846826
>Fine... Quiet Ivanka down...

>>846826
>This is the last time okay? I promise. I'll stop.

Only because he asked nicely this time.

"Fine... This is the last time, ok? I promise I'll stop."

The tavernkeeper sighs and thanks you, and you put a pillow in Ivanka's mouth to quiet her.

"So, just like that your quieting down?"

"Well, I don't feel like getting kicked out."

Actions

>...If you want, we could just ignore him.
>Like it loud, huh... Well, fine I guess.
>Sorry, but a promise is a promise.
>...Let's just get going, we've been wasting a lot of time.
>Kiss her!
>Want to tumble now? Maybe I'm into it again?
>...You know, we should go for another exercise run...
>Write-In

>>846874
>Kiss her
>Come on we should go adventuring soon.

You give her a nice kiss...

"Come on, let's go adventuring..."

You get up, along with Ivanka, and leave... And practically everyone is staring at you. You ignore it though, and walk out to pick up Hans and Kutyvoka.

Roll me a 1d20 for the quality of the dungeon.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>846885
Our father who are RNGesus hallowed be thy name.Give us sweet dungeons to raid plz.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>846885
We need to find something to replace our M249

Critical Success!

You find a huge dominating tower made out of pure green crystal, and enter it. The first level, which is a pentagon, has very little besides a fountain... But no stairs exist for some reason. The water is also green, like emeralds...

Actions

>Drink from the water?
>Search for a switch or something...
>Tell someone else to drink from the water!
>Get Hans to search for traps!
>Make out with Ivanka! This is always an option!
>Write-In

>>846913
>Get Hans to search for traps!
After that
>Drink from the water?
Because that's what a player character would do.

>>846923
This

Roll me a 1d20+3 for Hans to look for traps. Additional +1 if you can encourage him.

Rolled 13 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>846932

Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>846932
If you do a good job we'll be less likely to die.

13+4=17

Success!

Hans finds a switch in the fountain. You of course, along with Hans, have no idea what it does.

Actions

>Drink from the fountain!
>Pull the switch!
>Leave!
>Write-in

>>846985
>Drink from the fountain.
>Pull the switch!
PULL THE LEVER HANS
>Inb4 wrong lever

>>846985
>Drink from the fountain!
What's the worst that could happen?

You drink from the fountain.
And the doors close behind you... And you hear something wiggling above you... And out of no where, a giant gelatinous square blob falls onto the fountain.

Oh.
So that's what could happen.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and avoid getting grabbed by it!

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847020
No slime rape plz.
This isn't a Chinese cartoon.

>>847032
...Slime rape is a thing in Chinese cartoons?
I never knew that.

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847020
How do we beat a gelatinous cube?

>>847040
I've seen slime rape.
It's just as much of a thing as plant rape.

Critical Success!

You panic, and realize that OH SHIT HANS WAS STANDING ON TOP OF THE FOUNTAIN!
However, luckily you dodge out of the way of the slowly moving gelatinous cube, and see Hans has flicked the switch... You could move up the tower, but that risks leaving Hans here in the Gelatinous Cube's mass.
But on the otherhand... How the fuck are you supposed to fight this?

Actions

>Leave Hans behind and retreat up the tower!
>Yell to see if he's alright!
>Try to fight the slime cube!
>Try to leave the tower!
>Write-In

>>847054
Fuck it, I'm looking that shit up.
On a scale of one to ten, how traumatized will I be?

>>847060
>Try to fight the slime cube!
What if we start splashing it with water? It'll eventually dilute itself and break down.

>>847060
Depends on how in-depth they go in it.
Also plant/slime rape is basically like the tentacle shit.
>Try to fight the slime cube!

>>847070
The gelatinous cube is ontop of the only water source here, unless you intend to spit at him.

>>847079
Drink the slime.
Have everyone else help too.

You decide to try and fight it...

Actions

>...Take a bite out of it?
>Claw at it!
>Punch it?
>Tell Ivanka to shoot bullets into it! She has a 50. Cal sniper rifle! Though this might hurt Hans!
>Poke the blob?
>Jump into it?
>Spit at it!
>Write-In

>>847086
Anon... we already have a semi gelatinous werewolf character with questionable social skills in EDQ.

>>847093
>Claw at it!
Cut it into more manageable pieces.

>>847093
>...Take a bite out of it?
It shall make us stronger

Waiting ten more minutes anons.

>>847142
Why don't we just cut it into smaller pieces then consume it.
It'll be easier to eat that way.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to cut it!

Additional +2 for slime puns/jokes.

Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>847172
You jelly bro? Because your looking pretty green?

Rolled 3 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847172

16+6=22

Good Success!

"Come on, you jelly bro? Because your looking green!"[/red]

You claw at the blob, cutting it... It's quite acidic, and dulls your claws, but your getting somewhere! Kutyvoka and Ivanka join in and begin cutting at it...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how much damage you do before your claws dull out!

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>847209
Slime slaughter commence.

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>847209
We're definitely not eating that now.

18+5=23

Good Success!

You cut the blob quite a bit... But your claws dull out before it's too small... You'll need to think of anot-

And it's lunging at your face.
Fuck.

Roll me a 1d20+2 to dodge!

Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>847228
DODGE!

Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>847228

9+2=11

Failure!

It grabs you by the face, and swallows you into it's mass!
Fuck.

You do note that it isn't actually that acidic on the inside, and you see Hans mostly struggling to get out. You wave hi at him. Then that's when the first pain of "oh god I'm melting" comes into play.

Roll me a 1d20+4 to escape and try not to have your fur melted off of you!

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847268

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847268

18+4=22

Good Success!

You climb out of the blood, your fur having slightly melted off of you, and you thank God for getting out of there...

Now of course, since everyone's claws are dulled... You need to find a way to take care of it!

Actions


>...Take a bite out of it?
>Punch it?
>Tell Ivanka to shoot bullets into it! She has a 50. Cal sniper rifle! Though this might hurt Hans!
>Poke the blob?
>Jump into it?
>Spit at it!
>Write-In

>>847295
>Spit at it!
Only option that makes sense right now

>>847295
>Spit at it!
Gelatinous enemies are our weakness

Roll me a 1d20-2 to see if you can spit at it enough!

Rolled 3 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>847327
If only we had a flamethrower

Rolled 3 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>847327
I don't know how we'll make enough spit but whatever

3-2=1

Ultra Failure!

You spit a little... Ivanka however, realizes this is really stupid, and decides to take a bite out of it, while Kutyvoka punches at it.

This is going bad.

Roll me a 2d20+4 to see if punching or nomming it actually helps or fucks everything up.

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d20)

>>847337
Rollan

Rolled 11, 1 = 12 (2d20)

>>847337

Kutyvoka gets pulled into it, but it seems nomming isn't that bad of an option, but does give Ivanka some fucking terrible breath.

So of course, you try to help her nom it.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to nom it. Additional +2 for eating puns/jokes.

Rolled 19 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>847370
This counts as a green diet right?

19+7=26

Good Success!

"This counts as a green diet, right?" You say as you chew into the blob... After a bit, the two of you burp as the blob dissipates into nothingness.
And for some reason, you think your digestion system has just become a lot more effective. You wonder why, but meh.

"You know, that was surprisingly tasty."

"Yeah. Hans? You alright?"

"...Ugh..." He moans, and wipes green guck off him.

"Yeah. He's fine. Pull the switch, Hans."

He pulls it, and a staircase pops out... And everyone goes up it.

And you finally go up to a room where a few crystalized green men seem to be playing... Cards.

"...So, got any Jacks?"

"Nah."

"...Shouldn't the blob be done eating trespassers now?"

"Come on, we're just trying to pass the time."

"I peaked at his hand. He had four Kings. How did he get fo-"

"...You cheated?"

"Just a little."

Actions

>Sneak by!
>Attack the crystalized men!
>Walk up and ask if you can play cards with them!
>Walk up and introduce yourself!
>Tell Ivanka to snipe them!
>Tell Hans to sneak by or steal their cards and run off!
>Write-In

>>847507
>Tell Ivanka to snipe them!

Roll me a 1d20+6 to snipe!

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>847570

18+6=24

Good Success!

Ivanka aims down... And fires a shot right into one of the crystallized men, blowing his head off, and sending the second one flying out of his chair, terrified!

"Holy shit! Ljkoaksar!"

He begins to get up, but Ivanka chambers another shot...

Actions

>Take the shot Ivanka!
>You can handle a single Crystalized man, go up and take care of him!
>Go up and interrogate him!
>Write-In

>>847623
>Take the shot Ivanka!

Free money/gems ahead.

"Take the shot Ivanka!"

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if she hits!

Rolled 18 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>847664

18+6=24

Good Success!

Ivanka fires another shot, blowing the crystallized man's head off.

What do with their bodies?

Actions

>...Take them with you! They're basically humanoid emeralds!
>Suck on them a little. Maybe they taste good?
>Smash their body into bits!
>Ignore it and move on!
>Write-in

>>847719
>...Take them with you! They're basically humanoid emeralds!

>>847719
>...Take them with you! They're basically humanoid emeralds!
It's awfully murderhobo in here

>>847788
>Not being a murder hobo
Do you even D&D?

You grab the bodies, and begin to go deeper into the tower...

After a bit, you come to a fork in the hallway... Hans of course searches for traps...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if he finds anything.

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847855
If Hans dies we send the person with the most health up front.

Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>847855
Kobolds are naturals at trap making so it should be fine.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

10+4=14

Border Check!

Roll me a 1d20, and I'll roll you a 1d20! Only first roll allowed!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>848035
Oh boy. I think losing Hans might be the price we pay for giving Ivanka a belly rub fetish

Great Failure!

You see a spike emerge from above the ceiling... And suddenly dive downwards! So you jump to save Hans!

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can save him from impalement!

Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>848106
If Hans dies were obligated to commit Sudoku.

Rolled 5 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>848106
Of Hans does die we have to bring his corpse home. Cloning purposes

16+5=21

Good Success!

You save Hans from being impaled, and he rolls out of the way as the spear hits the ground. In front of you seems to be a large spear... Your lucky you didn't get hit.

"Holy shit... Thanks. You saved me." Hans begins to get back up.

Actions

>I just tripped, Hans.
>Thank God you didn't die...
>I can't let a short person die. That wouldn't be good on my record.
>Why don't you stay in the back? I can take an impalement.
>Write-In

You guys love Hans, don't you?
Why?
inb4 it's because he's the only sane guy who's not a cannibal or a werewolf

>>848149
>Why don't you stay in the back? I can take an impalement.
He's the only sane guy who's not a cannibal or a werewolf. But seriously it's because he's proven a good wingman and he's been helpful in a lot of occasions

>>848149
>Thank God you didn't die...
He's a pretty cool bro.
Also he's not insane. He's the obligatory one sane guy

"Come on, stay in the back. I can take an impalement. Thank God you didn't die though.

"Erh, yeah. That's a good idea."

You continue on, when you reach a large emerald door with a keyframe...

Actions

>Knock on it!
>Open it!
>It's probably locked. Break it down!
>...Lockpick it?
>Holds up Hans and have HIM lockpick it!
>Write-in

>>848195
>Holds up Hans and have HIM lockpick it!
He has a better bonus with lockpockkg right?

>>848195
>Holds up Hans and have HIM lockpick it!
Thieves are better at lock picking normally.

Roll me a1d20+6 to see if he can open the door!

Also, just a question...

Why did anons ever have that affair? Just curious.

Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>848224
I don't even know why.
Maybe they thought this would go like EDQ.

Rolled 16 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>848224
I was against the whole thing. Other anons probably did just for "lol so randumb" points and justifying it with stuff like 'dude Slavs lmao'. It was the same type of thinking that got us into the human pretzel phase and becoming a nordicist edgelord.

I pretty much at the end got tired of their shit when they tried to kill someone for "lolwaifu" and asked for their reasoning... Which was shit.
Yeah, at least the quest is stable now, with very little edgefagging. A little bit is nice, but too much just makes everything salty.

16+6=22

Good Success!

He unlocks the door, and the two of you go inside... You see that it is in fact, a treasure room... Golden coins, and a treasure chest... Hans greedily looks at the golden coins... You'd assume easily that there's nearly five million in gold here...

Actions

>Hans, don't rush in there... There could be traps!
>...You want that money first... Rush in!
>Let him rush in, with his little waddle. He deserves some gold.
>Go to the treasure chest.
>Hans... This gold is going to be used for Poland, not for whatever you want...
>...This is a trap. Back away.
>Write-In

>>848253
What are Slavs even like to attempt to justify that?

>>848307
>Go to the treasure chest.

>>848309
Imagine Florida but in a national or continental scale.

>>848307
>Hans, don't rush in there... There could be traps!
Remember what Ackbar said

Waiting ten more minutes!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Treasure Chest go!
2=No!!!

You let him rush into the pile of gold, and jump in. He begins greedily filling his pockets, and you go up to the chest, and open it...
Hey...
Why does this chest have teeth?

Roll me a 1d20+6 to dodge.

Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>848433
Fucking mimics

Rolled 20 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>848433
It was a mimic.
No such thing as free treasure in a dungeon.

>>848442
Mimics usually do have good treasure inside of them like a powerful weapon

>>848459
Sadly said loot isn't free.
But damn we've been getting some good rolls.

>>848467
Oh yeah... mimics are also deadly opponents.

Critical Success!

You open the chest so widely that you pop the top off, and look at the treasure inside...

Roll me a 1d20 for loot quality.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>848485
>Deadly opponent
Well this one is decapitated basically.
>>848543
Rollan.
Hopefully it doesn't end up like that sword we got a while back.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>848549
I thought it was going to be a dark souls type of mimic. Those things are absolutely horrifying.

You find a fancy steel longsword, and pick it up. It fits you like a little short sword though, and as you pick it up... It bursts into green flames. Cooool. It doesn't seem to hurt you though.

Actions

>Swing it around a little?
>...You are so fucking keeping this.
>Name it something!
>Nah. Throw it away.
>Give it to Hans. He needs something cool after nearly getting impaled... It's like a greatsword for him!

>>848583
>...You are so fucking keeping this.
Let's not Fuck this sword up.
>Name it something!
Emerald Blaze?

>>848583
>...You are so fucking keeping this.
Maybe name it Emerald Fire

You are so fucking keeping this, you think. You decide to name Emerald Blaze, and pocket it...

Actions

>Interrupt Hans gold dive.
>...Grab some money for yourself!
>Go back down. You've gotten what you've come for.
>Hey... Do you guys think magic exists in this world?
>You know, this is some fucking awesome pyrotechnics!
>Go up further for more loot!
>Show off your new sword!
>Write-In

>>848773
>Hey... Do you guys think magic exists in this world?
>...Grab some money for yourself!

>>848773
>Go up further for more loot!
Have Ivanka and Kutyvoka carry some loot too. Be it weapons or gold, it all matters.

"So, guys... Think magic exists? It would be cool to know it!"

"Stojan, magic like your god doesn't exist." Ivanka says.

Hans meanwhile, remains skeptic.

"I mean... Well, maybe. But I doubt it." He says.

Actions

>Always the cynic, Hans...
>Come on Hans, your a short lizard person. Your a definition of a magical creature. Or something like that.
>Pat Hans on the head.
>...Come on Ivanka, what will it take to convince you God is real? And magic?
>...Don't make me give you a belly rub in front of people. I know how much you love them.
>...Scratch her behind the ears playfully.
>Write-In

The trully nefarious thing about Ivanka's rub fetish is that other people think it's just Stojan being Stojan.

>>848888
>Give her a belly rub

>Evil laughter echoes in the distance

File: IMG_1466.jpg (45KB, 550x404px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 550x404px

>>848888
>...Come on Ivanka, what will it take to convince you God is real? And magic?
Wow. I knew Ivanka was a communist but talk about euphoric.

"Come on Ivanka, what will it take to convince you that God is real? And magic?"

You go forward... And begin to give her a belly rub.

After a few minutes, she... Well, begins hugging and kissing you, and the two of you basically start making out in full view of everyone.

Hans is mostly just watching, a little disgusted.

"...Are you two seriously doing it right here right now?"

"What's wrong with this?"

"...Seriously, stop it. It's echoing." Kutyvoka says. Either jealously, or because she's confused by Ivanka moaning in pleasure.

Actions

>STOP INTERRUPTING ME REEEEEEEEEE!
>...Tumble Ivanka!
>Give Kutyvoka a belly rub too!
>...Hans, this isn't weird. She just fucking loves being rubbed on her big beautiful stomach.
>While Ivanka is moaning in pleasure, try to convert her from being atheism to at least agnosticism!
>Scratch Ivanka behind the ears!
>Write-in

>>848942
>Give Kutyvoka a belly rub too!
And try to give her a fetish for it as well.

>>848942
>While Ivanka is moaning in pleasure, try to convert her from being atheism to at least agnosticism!
Dont give Kutyvoka a belly rub fetish too. Shit can only get so weird.