Thread replies: 746
Thread images: 207
Thread images: 207
Oh shit nigger you're in some sort of magical cart race organized by some shadowy magical interdimensional organization. In space.
You're Jojo, angsty teenage necromancer. Your "vehicle" is Lolisniffer, your skeletal helper and brother-in-law. You've also put neon light sinto his skull.
Currently you're at the starting line, the race will start any second now, what do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>837171
every one punch self in face
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>837185
aight make revving noises
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>837189
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>837196
turn on outrun music BGM
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
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>>837205
Good thing you put those speakers into Lolisniffers ribcage
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>837214
Race start? Outrun your opponents!
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>837214
bambambambambambam
>>
>>837218
And you're off to a good start
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>837229
drift!
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>837229
run harder!
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>837237
You instructed Lolisniffer to run harder, and so he did. You quickly reach the first downhill bend
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>837257
RUNNING INTO 90S
DORIFTUUUU
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>837257
Run through the cliff face as a shortcut.
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x500px)
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>>837258
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>837268
KEEP DRIFTING ALL THE TURNS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv13gl0a-FA
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>837268
I didn't ask for this
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>837268
[Eurobeat Intensifies]
>>
File: 1.png (28KB, 500x500px)
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>>837275
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>837289
check the rear
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>837289
Vomit from being way too full for all this turning shit.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>837289
more
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
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>>837294
Your vomit also caused the road to be slippery, creating a new hazard. The Super Robot Pilot is the first victim
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837300
Just as planned
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>837300
hah, now drill
thru
that mountain
>>
File: 1.png (61KB, 500x500px)
61KB, 500x500px
>>837306
"It'll get pretty dizzy, ya sure about that?"
>>
>>837315
nah, just keep drifting and give Jojo some antivomit medicine
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>837315
dooooooo iiiiit
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>837315
Do it! More vomit= less competition.
>>
>>837323
And so you did. Looks like another racer fell down, this time it's the barbarian woman
>>
>>837334
Check to see if they are actually just skipping all these turns and heading straight for the bottom of the mountain.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>837334
spin to send more vomit every where
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837334
she'll be fiiiine, keep drifting
>>
>>837340
Well, only Barbmom seems to be doing it.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>837345
We must not let her outrun us! Increase drifting speed!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>837345
Run down the mountain cliff and try to catch up with her
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>837345
bounce off of other racers to gain a 1 up
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x500px)
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>>837347
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>837359
How much left till bottom the mountain?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbqLkgN-lQ0
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>837359
fire lazero !
Mexican lazers
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837366
who we are firing at?
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x500px)
14KB, 500x500px
>>837369
Pretty much everybody
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>837374
check your current place and location
>>
>>837381
You're currently third place and reaching the bottom of the mountain
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>837382
fire our godamn lasers at the next car ahead
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>837382
eh, it's low enough, jump thru all mopuntain passes to the bottom of the mountain to shorten the gap
>>
File: 1.png (13KB, 500x500px)
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>>837386
Closing in on the super robot pilot
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>837389
loudly ask why super robot pilot doesn't pilot super robot
>>
>>837392
"THIS IS A SUPER ROBOT. JUST WITH THE LEGS REPLACED WITH WHEELS!"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>837394
PROVE IT FAGGOT
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
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>>837396
Super Robot Arm engaged
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>837398
l a s e r
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>837398
>not rocketto fuck you punch
not convinced
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
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>>837400
Sunuvabitch
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>837403
call his daddy issues out then
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
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>>837405
Taking cues from the last time that has happened, the Super Robot Pilot has prepared accordingly
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>837406
just outrun him then, and kick his wheels while you are at it
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
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>>837409
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>837410
I assume barbmom is first place? how far you are from her?
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
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>>837411
Somewhat far, she's already at the Giant Monster part of the track
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>837414
need to find shortcuts soon or else she'll get way too far ahead.
look for shortcuts
>>
>>837419
Well the track curves around some buildings. YOu can go straight through them instead for a shortcut.Goddamn the thread is dead as shit today. Guess it's time to put it on hold.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
fart sohard that it gave us speed boosts
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>837420
Go thru 'dem buildingsmaybe back to night threads? I won't be able to participate, but you usually gather more people.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>837420
You update quick as shit, not used to it personally.
Fuck the shortcut that's for chumps, jump right over that shit.
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
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>>837424
whoosh
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>837425
land already
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>837427
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>837428
how good shortcut was?
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
11KB, 500x500px
>>837429
You're close enough that Barbmom use dher super necro powers to turn the giant monster into her minion to impede you. So now, miniboss fight!....that will happen hours later because there's barely anybody to participate right now.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>837430
do the miniboss battle preview and curse anons for not showing up
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
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>>837432
>>
>>837434
Hi
>>
>>837447
Sup
>>
>>837453
When are you gonna run again, NaP?
>>
>>837463
I dunno, in 4 hours maybe. Hopefully there'll be more people by then
>>
>>837466
Yea. It was 1am when you started. Amerifags anyway
>>
>>837477
it works for me though I work Gravreyard.
>>
>>837498
say hi to skellies
>>
Alright. Thread in an hour. Who's here?
>>
>>837520
I'm here for like 2-3 hours tops
>>
Here
>>
>>837533
the fuck all these pieces of shit
where are my giant robotsI miss the time where couple of rocks were all you need.
>>
>>837521
Same
>>
>>837533
Hmm yes, very interesting
>>
Alright, it's time, who's here?
>>
>>837572
Wassup
>>
NOw, what was happening again, oh right, bossfight.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>837580
use flamethrower lollisniffer!
>>
File: 1.png (18KB, 500x500px)
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>>837584
Good thing you hid one inside the unexplained inventory space that is his ribcage
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>837586
Now that it's distracted, maybe we could just outrun him.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837586
I wonder what secrets ribcage has
maybe lolis
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px)
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Rolled 36 (1d80)
>>837593
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 50, 5 = 55 (2d100)
>>837598
>>
Rolled 18, 24 = 42 (2d100)
>>837598
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>837598
>>
>>837598
USE UNLIMITED SKELETALPOWER TO GO FAST!
>>
Rolled 86, 25 = 111 (2d100)
>>837606
FML I forgot to roll
>>
>>837601
Your distraction failed! The mosnter stops your advance!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>837609
cast fist thru it
>>
>>837609
Vomit attack GO!
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x500px)
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>>837612
You managed to break one of its arms
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>837615
NOW RUN LIKE LIGHTNING!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>837615
now back to the race while it recovering
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>837615
Cast foot on its nads
>>
>>837618
It uses its flame breath at you in a last ditch effort to eliminate you from the race
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
Jojo opens lunchbox and uses MILK on Lolisniffer. It gives him a Popeye power-up!
>>837622
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>837622
outrun it gracefully
>>
>>837622
Call it out on being the shittiest boss fight in the race.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>837631
do some tricks before landing on barbmom car
>>
>>837632
"wait, onto her car?"
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>837639
eh what ever just Super Mario that care below you.
>>
>>837640
car*
>>
>>837640
"Yeah, uh, sur----crap, I..missed"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>837649
Try again, fucko
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>837649
Catch on to a spoiler!
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>837664
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>837670
Angle the spoiler for low drag
>>
File: 1.png (35KB, 500x500px)
35KB, 500x500px
>>837680
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>837683
No, it has to be horizontal.Again, where the fuck is everyone?
>>
>>
>>837686
I don't even know what angle you waaant.Hell if I know, it's like nobody's on anymore. That or I'm no longer "in" with the cool kids.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>837696
spinning accelerates you past barbmomI'd argue that /qst/ kinda dead, but civ thing was too lively for that to be true
>>
>>837699I just don't know
>>
Well shit, guess thread's dead. Again.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>837703it's just way too hard to get new anons into /qst/ threads I think, it relies too much on anons coming back regularly. Maybe make it weekend only thing?
such is a fate of niche board I guess, dies out after initial small interest.
how far to the goal?
>>837711on hold once again? seems like asking on twitter and in thread doesn't provide results.I certainly almost asleep already
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>837703
Buzzsaw barbmoms car
>>
>>837719
Attempting to buzzsaw her car
>>837716I dunno anymore. Even weekends doesn't seem to ahve that much people anymore
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>837721maybe try get back on /v/? Sure, it's back to no rolls and mods deleting threads occasionally, but I honestly don't see another way
I sure do hope giant letters WRONG WAY won't mess this attempt
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
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>>837725
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>837721
could this be an end of an era?
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>837726
vrrrrrrooommm
>>
>>837727
An era has to be marked by something significant
>>
File: 1.png (18KB, 500x500px)
18KB, 500x500px
>>837729
>>
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>837734
vroom harder
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>837734
almost there!
>>
>>837744
Barbmom car crashes into the words.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>837745
>>
>>837747
BUt she's going the right way though
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>837748
Re-buzz barbmom
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>837748
spinning hard in one direction make you gain boost like those old toy cars
blast forwardit's my last post here for today, gl with thread.
>>
>>837748
Reverse polarity and get after her!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>837753
This is what I get for phone posting.
>>
>>837751
"Hey, are you okay with all this spinning? I mean, you puked just before so..."
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>837758
Puke on Barbmom directly
>>
>>837761
Dodged at the last second
"Gross" commented Lolisniffer
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>837765
Roll onto vomit and onto barbmoms car
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>837765
Lolisniffer tosses Jojo at Barbmom
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>837765
Slip on vomit for speed boost.
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>837771
"R-right, maybe this'll work"
>>
Rolled 77, 98 = 175 (2d100)
>>837780
Lets find out
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>837780
Jojo drops her lunchbox, bacon soills everywhere. Barbmom mistakes it for jerky and stops
>>
File: 1.png (23KB, 500x500px)
23KB, 500x500px
>>837781
*krrk*
"Uh oh"
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>837786
Throw her! Quick!
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>837786
Jojo uses period blood to rocket herself towards barbmom
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837786
Puke Fist!
>>
>>837788
As you prepare to do so, Lolisniffer grabs you tightly, locking you in place.
"oh jeez"
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>837796
Re-light Lolisniffers face and release Jojo
>>
>>837796
Don't tell me this is Fuckoff's doing
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>837796
Just let her go Lolisniffer
>>
>>837799
You tried to make him release you. BUt the skeleton won't budge. You even tried smacking his skull a few times so his lights re-activate, they did. BUt he still won't let go.
"I am sorry. But I cannot resist her control"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>837805
Read that rad teen bible and see if there's any way to stop this necromancy.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>837805
use the baby pictures
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>837812
Well now, you can't do that. You didn't specced into Holy
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>837817
Tell Barbmom that Fuckoff is cheating
>>
>>837824
"No, no. Telling her that won't do anything. Because she's the one doing this"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>837829
Awww fuck I forgot about that. Increase period blood flow and kamikaze yourselves into her.
>>
Rolled 130 (1d200)
>>837831
Can your bleeding vagina overpower Lolisniffers possessed grip?
Roll 1d100 to find out
>>
Is the thread dead, for real, now. So I can go to sleep.
>>
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>837855damnit
You failed to escape
>>
>>837865
THey need one more day in the hospital to fully recover
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>837866
Deus ex Greg bullshits thru spacetime to fix your shit.
Cuz why not
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>837866
Throw your bacon!
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>837876
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>837879
Use bacon grease to escape grip.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>837891
Pick up Lolisniffer and rrruuuunnn
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>837891
Slip n slide your way to the finish line using the grease
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>837895
Goddamn you're much slower than him.
"Just leave me and run, you'll go faster"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>837906
Nah
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>837932
"Look, everybody's passing us. I'm (un)dead weight with my current condition, just go."
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>837939
No we finish together.
>>
>>837939
Also this is probably a good place to finish. It looks like I'm the only one here.
>>
>>837942
>>837944
"...Thanks...I appreciate that..Sister-in-law"And yes, time for me to sleep.
>>
>>837956
Go to bed NaP.
It'll be better next time.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>837956
Fukkin shove your loli pics into his eyeholes and motivate the lazy fucker!
>>
>>837959
Hopefully, yes.
>>
>>837956
I've just been trying to get an actual schedule going instead of waking up at noon so I've been missing quite a few threads.Sorry NaP, you're still the best.
>>
Its also holiday season and shopping season. The 4chan meme is that no one has lives, but... we do.
>>
>>837969
Agreed. NaP is da bes'
>>
>It's an I wake up literal minutes after thread dies episode
>>
>>837994
>it's a thread dies literally minutes before i got out of work episode
I know your pain
>>
Who's still in here
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>839925
good morning
>>
>>839925
Make that two
>>
>>839960
sup
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>839925
Hello
>>
>>839997
Is it me you're looking forr
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
Alright who wants to continue, right now.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>840033
rolling the chance other anons actually stay in thread
>>
>>840045
Surely this would lure in some
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>840052
It doesnt
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>840033
Attempt To finish Race
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>840052
add some smug anime faces as a seasoning to (you)
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>840052
give lolisniffer some milk mixed gorillion caffeine
>>
File: 1.png (40KB, 500x500px)
40KB, 500x500px
>>840061
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>840073
Not smug enough
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>840073
and holywar sidedish
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>840075
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>840097
MORE
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>840097
Shake Lolisniffer to activate the milk
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>840097
he's revitalized. back to the race!
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>840122
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>840122
Not working.
Use CPR
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>840122
Use the energy to Super SANIC fast to win race
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>840122
Inject adrenaline straight into his bones
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x500px)
15KB, 500x500px
>>840127
The over abundance of milk and caffeine allowed Lolisniffer to lose barbmoms control
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>840157
Charge past the competitors while screaming
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>840157
it's not too late to catch up! gogogo!
>>
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>840178
where you at right now
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>840178
check current placement
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>840178
increase speed and volume to maximum
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>840184
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>840199
get past Barbmom but not before flipping the bird at her
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>840199
zoom past her singing CAN YOU FEEL THE SUNSHINE
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>840199
hurdle by, blasting a trail of period blood behind you to sabotage barbmom
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>840199
rattle bones with intensity
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
Rolled 194 (1d200)
>>840207
Roll 2d200
>>
Rolled 44, 67 = 111 (2d200)
>>840249
"FUCK YOU BEEEEETCH"
>>
Rolled 174, 88 = 262 (2d200)
>>840249
welp
>>
Rolled 81, 95 = 176 (2d100)
>>840249
aw yee
>>
Rolled 17, 26 = 43 (2d100)
>>840249
rattle bones in fear
>>
>>840272
sorry
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px)
12KB, 500x500px
>>840256
"Ah vhat the fuck"
Barbmom caused Lolisniffer to break down
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>840292
Maybe it was because of too much caffeine and shit
grab his body and scream in the air like a scene in a movie
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>840292
whoa
that's a new.
get mad, like really mad. Fuck spacetime continuum, no one fucks with your Lolisniffer
NO ONE
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>840292
start reassembling him immediately
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>840292
Knockout Barbmom with Lolisniffers skull in a fit of rage
>>
Rolled 163 (1d200)
>>840315
"This vill end badly"
roll 2d100
>>
File: Curse-of-monkey-island-guybrush-murray.jpg (53KB, 640x480px)
53KB, 640x480px
Rolled 75, 56 = 131 (2d100)
>>840332
he'll be fiiiiiiine
>>
Rolled 65, 51 = 116 (2d100)
>>840332
pls work
>>
Rolled 8, 30 = 38 (2d100)
>>840332
>>
Man, I was hoping somebody would get a total of 2 rolls higher than 163
THanks Dice God
>>
Rolled 42, 125 = 167 (2d200)
>>840332
>>
>>840386
Yeah but it's too late now
>>
>>840389it also was 2d200DICE GOOOOOOOOOOOD
>>
>>840339
Dice God laughs in your general direction as Barbmom snatches Lolisniffers skull from the air
"Uh...hi Boss"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>840394
GIVE IT BACK GRANDMA
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>840394
Lolisniffer distracts her by singing
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>840394
Lolisniffer bite Barbmom
>>
>>840400
"A-"
"You be quiet now"
"Yes mistress"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>840431
Get mad cause you want him back
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>840431
challenge barbmom to a duel
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>840463
SUMMON BLOOD SPEAR
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>840463
GET HIM BACK
NO ONE MESSES WITH YOUR LOLISNIFFER
NO ONE
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x500px)
10KB, 500x500px
>>840476
Dem Shadowboss genes at work
>>
File: 1.png (33KB, 500x500px)
33KB, 500x500px
Rolled 296 (1d1000)
>>840519
Roll 2d1000
>>
Rolled 178, 968 = 1146 (2d1000)
>>840542
>inb4 dicegod still a dick
>>
File: 1472094848165.jpg (272KB, 934x698px)
272KB, 934x698px
Rolled 941, 476 = 1417 (2d1000)
>>840542
>>
>>840564
Dice God - not that much of a dick. This time.
Your Blood Spear hits! And destroyed the rest of the track!
Since you blew up the finish line, this race is a draw.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>840576
what about lolisniffer though?
is he ok?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>840576
But did we obliterate Barbmom?
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>840587
"Do not worry child. He's fine"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>840603
GIVE
HIM
BACK
>>
>>840607
"But why? This skeleton doesn't belong to you"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>840629
I BEG TO DIFFER
HE.
IS.
MINE.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>840629
That's my Brother-in-law. So I am required to take him back
>>
>>840642
"Foolish child. Who do you think raised him from his grave in the first place? I am his Necromancer."
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>840673
Raise our dad to battle mom.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>840673
So? I don't care about that.
HE IS MINE BROTHER-IN-LAW AND I'll RETURN HIM IN ONE PIECE WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR INTERFERENCE.
CHARGE.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>840673
Launch Surprise attack
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>840701
OH SHIIIII
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>840715
FISTS OF FURY
ATTATATATATATTATATATATATATATATAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>840715
TIME FOR HIM TO BE FREE FROM YOU THEN
SPECIAL HIGH POWERED CAST OF BLOOD FIST
>>
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>840744
KEEP TRYING
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>840758
LOLISNIFFER
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
REMEMBER WHAT WE'VE BEEN THRU
toss every photo of younger you at him
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>840765
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>840775
Its time for our secret weapon
>Cry like a little girl you are and maybe JUST maybe Lolisniffer will realize how nice you were when you are little
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>840775
Dang it
time to use our secret weapontime machine to borrow our loliself
>>
>>840779
"Dark Mistress, please. In your infinite wisdom and mercy, let me return to the girl"
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>840803
Okay that's it.
Summon his WIFE here
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>840803
>Cry even harder with hiccups and occasional "Skellybro" (which we used to name him when we were a child)
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>840813
You are now Barbmom/Gregs Mom/Ancient Mistress of Darkness.
Do you accept Lolisniffers plea?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>840850
Yes
but strip him of his powers first so he doesn't win
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>840850
fine, but only if you win this tournament
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>840850
summon his wife
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>840850
so wait barb mom wad Gregson mom was really ancient mistress of darkness?!
WHAT A REVILATION!
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>840860
You are now Jojo again.
Lolisniffer will be returned to you. If you win the racing tournament.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>840898
Oh crap
we need a vehicle then
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>840898
Time to build fastest ride there was
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>840898you won't
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>840904
Hmmm
Wow, this sounds like a bum deal, maybe you can try convincing her to lend him until the tournament's over
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>840926
She could take away Lolisniffer at any moment, making us lose the race
We've gotta be independent
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>840926
we've been using him maybe we can summon a replacement skelly. what are our options?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>840898
Meanwhile at the hospital
>The two orc paladins heard the cries of a little child and so they pray for Jojo to grant him a miracle that will help him win the race
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>840926
summon his wife as your co-racer
>>
>>840929
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>840942
bring us to the vehicle selection screen
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>840942
sing some linkin park for some ideas because you dont know how deep this pain you are going through
>>
>>840952
Well you can try summoning/ask the preducers to teleport in:
- Texas: the rootin' tootin' shootin' skeleton
- Simon: undead weeaboo wrestling nerd
- Fug: shitposter/lawyer
- Kneechan: the OTHER girl in the gang
- Greg: Greg
- Shadowsis: your big sister and Lolisniffers wife
>>
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>840983
SIMON
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>840983
simon
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>840983
SHADOWSIS LOCKIN CONFIRM
>>
>>840989
Lolisniffer was a skeleton serving Greg yes.
But it was never said Greg was the one who necromance'd him. Basically Gregs Mom raised Lolisniffer as a minion and then gave him to Greg as a birthday present.
>>
>>840995
Wow so quick
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>841008
"yo sis, can you dress up as Speed racer to gain more stat for speed?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>841008
HOLD UP
THAT'S "ROCK IN"
NOT LOCK IN
CHOOSE SIMON AND ROCK IN CONFIRM
>>
>>841008
How is she both your big sister and lolisniffer's wife?? ?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>841008
ROCK IN
SHOUT NOW
>>
>>841016
Well it's not like Jojo and Lolisniffer are related by blood or anything
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>841018
*teleport noise*
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>841036
Ask shadowsis wear Kamen Rider suit for maximum stat boost, because that's how it works, fuck you
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>841036
Attempt to hug sister
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>841038
She then immediately slapped you in the face.
Not because of the costume idea, but because you were caughtholding handswith her husband on intergalactic television
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>841052seen that coming
Explain that situation is a bit more complicated atm and her husband is controlled by that woman
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>841052
"It was part of a plan, I swear!"
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>841062
Ooh now the other cheek too
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>841078
Imply it was Lolisniffers idea
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>841078
SLAP HER BACK
OUR LOVE FOR LOLISNIFFER IS ETERNAL
>>
>>841078you forgot to rewrite Poak right way after mirroring, so you technically slapped only one cheek
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>841084
Yes, uh, a totally platonic, siterly love, right?
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>841106
"Random dice rolls gave me the idea! it's basically the Dice god's fault"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>841106
No, the other kind of love
SLAP HER AGAIN
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>841106
It doesn't even matter unless we win this thing!
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>841108
"No it wasn't....OR WAS IT?!"
*invisible wink*
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>841124
So we still going with the Kamen rider idea?
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>841124
Think up a strategy to win the next race
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
I need your help or Lolisniffer will never return to us
>>
File: 1.png (116KB, 500x500px)
116KB, 500x500px
>>841133
"OR CAN YOU?!"
Dice God's drunk again
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>841148
dice god gets pulled over by cop god
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>841148
kick dice god in the die and claim all the luck for yourself
>>
>>841152
"wait what"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>841167
Barbmom from the past is holding him hostage unless we win the race
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>841167
now dance the somba
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>841172
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>841189
that's how it is, so you gonna become the Kamen rider today or what
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>841189
so i need your help. PLEASE *cue cute puppy eyes*
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>841189
So are you going to help me get Lolisniffer back or are we just going to keep slapping each other?
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>841191
"We'll settle this afterwards, then"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>841209
So how do you feel about being the car?
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>841209
Sure whatever
now do epic team up pose
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x500px)
5KB, 500x500px
>>841219
"HOw do you feel about having a rope tied to your ankle and being dragged to the finish line?"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>841227
okay fine, where do we get a car then
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>841227
I'd rather not buuuut well if thats what it takes to win this race....
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>841227
only if you wear a skirt while doing so
>>
>>841233
"Good" and so Shadowsis used her powers to construct a shadowrope. I mean she could have used it to conjure up a car or something but whatevs
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>841240
While she does that, channel the power of #MAGA to win this kind of race not a presidential race
you don't remember where you got this spell
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>841240
Ask Shadowsis how the rest of the family has been doing since we've been racing
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x500px)
7KB, 500x500px
>>841242
Everytime you use this spell a strange aura appears ontop of your head, pretty weird
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>841249
don't worry, Meme magic was proven powerful
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>841249
BUILD THE WALL
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>841249
summon your campaign bus
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>841250
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>841253
build a motherfucking car
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>841253
satanic sacraficial choir in the backgrpubd
>>
>>841256
>implying it was not this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzf9t3eIwJQ
>>
>>841256
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXFSK0ogeg4
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>841262
use your Period amplified #MAGA MEME Magic to summon a vehicle of victory
>>
>>841263
Kapoot
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>841268
wrong
the head should be a rare pepe
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>841268
looks like shit
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>841268
doesn't look fast enough
it should look like a fighter jet
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>841268
See if the eyes shoot lasers
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>841270
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>841278
eh, it will do for now
get in and ready for race
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x500px)
9KB, 500x500px
>>841282
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>841285
Rev engine
its engine noise is Reeeeee for some reason
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>841285
smash it into pieces and make something decent
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>841285
Onwards to victory
>>
>>841287
And so the car was destroyed and being rebult...HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY HATES AMERICA
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>841293
call him a cuck
yes make something more AMERICAN
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>841293
LYNCH THAT NIGGA
FUCK YOU lGb3IxmK
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>841293
point and laugh, then remember why we need to win the race
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>841298
OH no! Who will save anon now?
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>841302
fuck it, just build a Knight Rider car
oh wait, we need a personality
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>841302
I'll save myself with sick rolls
>>
>>841303
for the car, of course
>>
>>841304
RIP in piss
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x500px)
4KB, 500x500px
>>841303
>>841312
If it's not a winning roll it's not worth considering
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>841314
make it more badass and skeleton themed
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>841314at least I had a nice hat for a one post
How radical AI of car is?
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x500px)
6KB, 500x500px
>>841316
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>841321
Inquire if Shadowsis is to busy making rope to check out the car
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>841321
install some random personality AI for knight rider car
what can go wrong
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>841321
Hop in and do a some donuts.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>841321
PERFECT
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x500px)
8KB, 500x500px
>>841326
#lamepuns
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>841331
Ask Shadowsis if she knows how to drive stick shift
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>841331
"Hey car AI, give us some coffee"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>841331
donuts are delicious tho
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>841339
consume coffee recklessly fast
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>841339
gas gas GAS
i'm gonna step on the gas
i'm running quick as the flash
(put the pedal to the fuckin metal)
>>
>>841341
slurp
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>841345
get ready for race
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>841345
Ask Shadowsis if she is ready to race
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x500px)
11KB, 500x500px
>>841346
YeaH! Your team is all ready and pumped up! You're gonna win!....aaaand now since the this is the next race and the Divine Team has finally been discharged from the hospital, we return to them instead.
>>
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>841350
Check to see if anyone sabotaged our car
>>
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x500px)
12KB, 500x500px
>>841351
Wonder what happened while you were gone. No matter, here's your car
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>841356
Add some monster truck tires
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>841356
check for bombs
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>841356
take prescribed medicine
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>841363
Orc Cleric Cast Divine protection on your ride
>>
>>841364
Checking...
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>841367
what's that beeping noise
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>841367
OH GOD DEMON A BAMB
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>841367
concerned about the strange noises coming from the underside of the car
>>
>>841372
>be concerned
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x550px)
12KB, 500x550px
>>841370
>>841371
>>841372
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>841377
who set us up the bomb?
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>841377
GET OUT OF THERE
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>841377
Demon Paladin eat the bomb
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>841377
Inspect The Bomb of heretical influences
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>841386
does it work?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>841386
Use your superior demon constitution to render the explosives inert by ingesting the bomb
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x550px)
12KB, 500x550px
>>841388
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>841390
DEMON PALADIN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>841390
Is demon Paladin the kind of demon who is healed with holy magic or the kind that takes damage from it? Either way Orc Cleric Cast heal wounds or inflict wounds to save demon Paladin
>>
>>841391
"Eh, I'll be fine. Reminds me of Chilly Night back at the church"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>841398
Finish inspecting the car
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>841398
investiage to see who put the bomb
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>841398
oh, let's start the race then
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x550px)
4KB, 500x550px
>>841400
Everything seems to be fine
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>841411
strategy time
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>841411
Rev engine then proceed to the race track and await the race to start
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x550px)
11KB, 500x550px
>>841412
"Altight, brother. What's the plan?"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>841419
Go fast, win big and be righteous
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>841419
pray to god
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>841419
lube engine with premium grade holy oil for extra divine protection
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>841419
so we race... but this time...we go faster
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x550px)
5KB, 500x550px
>>841425
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>841427
lets go with that
get ready
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>841427
once we are going faster we need to pass on the inside lane and throw scripture passages at the other racers
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x550px)
16KB, 500x550px
>>841430
Genius, now let's get ready
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>841435
do a sick burnout
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>841435
Cast cure light wounds on that poor skelly
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x550px)
14KB, 500x550px
>>841436
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>841441
Call Lolisniffer a bitch for being used like that
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>841441
that causes a rocket boost
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>841441
Cast divine protection on yourself and Demon Paladin
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>841452
Wait for the start flag to drop then rocket off to first place
>>
File: 1.png (4KB, 500x550px)
4KB, 500x550px
Rolled 759 (1d1000)
>>841454
3
2
1
.
.
.
Roll 1d200
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>841465
Advertise Holy water™
>>
Rolled 123 (1d200)
>>841465
vroom vroom
>>
Rolled 141 (1d200)
>>841465
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x550px)
16KB, 500x550px
>>841468
And you blast off!
But then your car got destroyed
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>841477
OH FUCK
did we die?
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>841477
I blame barbarians
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>841477
aw, I thought we checked for the bombs
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>841477
back to the hospital
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x550px)
14KB, 500x550px
>>841479
Indeed it was the work of a barbarian matriarch, and a skeleton. They're strategy is apparently destroy every other vehicle so they'll be literally no competition
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>841487
It's a good thing Orc Cleric Cast Divine Protection
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>841487
Shit
Get a ride on Demon Paladin's back then
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>841487
hah! it's a good thing we cast Devine protection
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x550px)
5KB, 500x550px
>>841492
#nohomo
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>841495
"REEEEEEEEEE FOUL BARBARIAN HERETICAL WENCH"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>841495
START CATCHING UP TO BARB MOM
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>841495
Cast a blessing of strength on demon Paladins legs to boost speed
>>
File: 1.png (14KB, 500x550px)
14KB, 500x550px
>>841498
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>841507
HOLY FIST THAT BITCH RIGHT IN THE CUNT
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>841507
DIVINE PUNISHMENT FOR BREAKING CARS IS UPON YOU
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>841507
cast angel feet of swiftness on Demon paladin.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>841507
Cast Turn undead on her mount (Sorry Lolisniffer)
>>
File: 1.png (21KB, 500x550px)
21KB, 500x550px
Rolled 34 (1d2000)
>>841508
Roll 2d300
>>
Rolled 42, 64 = 106 (2d300)
>>841515
FUCK YOU UNHOLY SCUM
>>
Rolled 171, 255 = 426 (2d300)
>>841515
PACIFIST PUUUUUUUNCH
>>
Rolled 83, 102 = 185 (2d300)
>>841515
we truly a blessed
>>
Rolled 278, 121 = 399 (2d300)
>>841515
>>
Rolled 43, 206 = 249 (2d300)
>>841515
EAT JUDGEMENT BARB HERETIC WENCH
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x550px)
16KB, 500x550px
>>841520
Your holy fist blew up a part of the track. Nobody's moving forward for a while until they find a way accross
#blessed
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>841524
cross the track
gravity doesn't apply to you, you are religious
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>841524
FLY ACROSS BY USING HOLY WINGS
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>841524
you can move further just fine tho
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>841524
Sprout Divine Wings of Lights and soar across the damaged track
>>
Rolled 1829 (1d2000)
>>841528
Whoooosh
Roll 2d300
>>
Rolled 160, 256 = 416 (2d300)
>>841536
thank you dice god, you know how to crush hopes and dreams
>>
Rolled 99, 183 = 282 (2d300)
>>841536
Aim for the woman! Cast Holy Foot!
>>
Rolled 165, 120 = 285 (2d300)
>>841536
I hope I dont crash into a building or something, or two
>>
Rolled 294, 120 = 414 (2d300)
>>841536
Whooosh
>>
>>841537
That's how he works, he builds you up jsut so he can knock you down from someplace higher
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>841541
Knocked down, into the ground, your bones are possibly broken.
roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 91, 52 = 143 (2d100)
>>841544
ouch
>>
Rolled 9, 35 = 44 (2d100)
>>841544
use divine recovery
>>
Rolled 76, 8 = 84 (2d100)
>>841544
MUH BONER
>>
>>841545
The barbarian matriarch glances at your battered bodies and uttered a single word:
"wuss"
You've taken heavy mental damage
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>841554
meh, I've taken worse
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>841554
With the last of your strength Orc Cleric Cast Righteous Indignation on her
>>
File: 1.png (15KB, 500x550px)
15KB, 500x550px
>>841557
That's not what the rolls said bby.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>841565
use Orc berserk that you tried desperately to control
>>
>>841566
bzzt bzt
Hmm, engine problems
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>841571
Hold Demon Paladins Hand as the world grows dark and you wait for rescue
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>841571
use heal demon paladin!
>>
>>841575
"Hang in there, Brother! Hang in there! Breother?! NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo............"
#OscarMoment
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>841584
'tis is but a scratch!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>841584
a holy primal instinct kicks in
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>841584
Demon Paladin become a conduit for Divine Wrath
>>
File: 1.png (22KB, 500x550px)
22KB, 500x550px
>>841586
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>841589
strap that orc to your back, cast heal on both of you and run, RUN FOR THE LORD!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>841589
Princess carry that orc to finish line
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>841589
skateboard on his body to the finish line
>>
File: 1.png (22KB, 500x550px)
22KB, 500x550px
>>841591
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>841599
Channel God's SANIC force to go SANIC faster
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>841599
Let out your pent up rage to boost your speed
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>841599
"Grief is great speed boost mechanics." 10/10 God Games Network
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x550px)
10KB, 500x550px
>>841603
"Pfft, what a rehash"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>841605
Devine one, give demon paladin the holy AMERICAN FOOTBALL POWER UP!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>841605
that's called "don't fix what isn't broken"
>>
File: 1.png (25KB, 500x550px)
25KB, 500x550px
>>841606
[holy yelling]
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>841613
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
BARBFAGS GET OUT
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>841613
if you have so much energy to yell, how about speed boost?
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>841613
HOLY DIVER
YOU'VE BEEN DOWN TOO LONG IN THE MIDNIGHT SEA
>>
>>841618
OOOH, WHAT'S BECOMING OF MEEE
>>841616
That was the speed boost, dumbo. The post was "a powerup"
>>
File: shin-mazinger-z-soul-of-chogokin-gx-49g-gold-ver-.jpg (50KB, 600x600px) Image search:
[Google]
50KB, 600x600px
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>841620
GOLDEN ROCKETTO HOLY PUNCH>can't get speedboost twice
meh
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>841620
RIDE THE TIGER, YOU CAN SEE HIS STRIPES BUT YOU KNOW HE'S CLEAN
But seriously, here's hoping you knock dat barb bitch off her throne.
>>
File: 1.png (19KB, 500x550px)
19KB, 500x550px
Rolled 693, 129 = 822 (2d2000)
>>841628
OOOOH DON'T YOU SEEE WHAT I MEEEAAAN
GOTTA GET AWAYY
HOLY DIIIVEEEERRRR
Roll 4d500
Highest total gets picked
>>
Rolled 92, 109, 500, 490 = 1191 (4d500)
>>841631
Who is a wuss now
>>
Rolled 19, 141, 365, 23 = 548 (4d500)
>>841631
>>
>>841632
at least you beat her on her roll.
>>
Rolled 8, 7, 346, 451 = 812 (4d500)
>>841631
>>
>>841632
Well congratulations, you destroyed the throne and forced her off the skeleton. What's the next step in your master plan?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>841638
cut her necromancer ties with skeleton with your holy power, so she won't have a ride
then proceed to finish line
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>841638
keep running nigga!
>>
File: 1.png (20KB, 500x550px)
20KB, 500x550px
>>841642
The skeleton stops you!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>841647
use holy magic to sever control of skelly
>>
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>841647
Cast revive on skeleton
>>
File: 1.png (17KB, 500x550px)
17KB, 500x550px
>>841649
Blocked
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>841655
TRY HARDER, ASK FOR HELP NEARBY RACERS LIKE JOJO TEAM
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>841655
you can't block the devine!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>841655
Convert him! WOLOLO!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>841667
call Shadowsis and Jojo for help
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>841667
Demon paladin do something about this! Distract her or something.
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x550px)
12KB, 500x550px
>>841668
Yes, let's call them t--aw man, they took advantage of the confusion and passed the finish line while you were busy fighting
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>841675
Convert lollisnjffer while barb mom is distracted and seal him from conversion.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>841675
LOLISNIFFER ISN'T CONTROLLED AT ALL, LOOK AT THAT *smirk*
We've been had!
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x550px)
7KB, 500x550px
>>841678
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>841682
Don't act innocent, admit your sins and your soul shall be spared!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>841682
Cast Cure Greater Wounds on Orc Cleric. Our brother is in need of help.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>841686
Ah yes of course. If you can heal him now you won't need to be hopialized yet again.
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 21, 40 = 61 (2d100)
>>841689
HOLYNANOMACHINES, SON
>>
Rolled 21, 98 = 119 (2d100)
>>841689
I shouldn't worry about this roll, but you never know how it is with drunk Dice God
>>
Rolled 67, 89 = 156 (2d100)
>>841689
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>841695
I had the weirdest dream, you were there and you were there
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>841695
Aww yeah.
We pumped.
How do you feel, brother?
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>841695
how do ya feel brotha
>>
>>841701
"I jsut woke up from a dream. A dream where my entire existence is nothing but fiction meant to entertain anonymous peoples on an eastern basket weaving forum...But other than that I feel fine"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>841703
that's pretty common dream around here, you are fiiiine
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>841703
sounds pretty gay dream
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>841713
Yeah, pretty gay.
ANYWAY, let's keep going, i wanna go praise The Lord for 5 hours straight after this
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>841713
with that settled out, let's finish race already
>>
>>841715
Loading next race
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>841718
can we have overall scoreboard of all races atm?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>841718
Wait what about our fucking car? We're not doing that piggyback shit like some fucking douchebags.
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x550px)
9KB, 500x550px
>>841721
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>841734
gggrreee
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>841734
Call up the pope and ask for a new car.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>841734
okay, we need to win two in a row then
get a new car from godof drifthimself
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x550px)
5KB, 500x550px
>>841736
YOu're in a giant Space Dome, in Space. All outside contact for the racers is blocked
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>841740
then ask for a new car from the people holding us here
>>
>>841734
Dickass thief won the first race btw
>>
>>841745
No, he got second place. The winner was NRFS and fuckoff
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>841740
Scrounge up what remains of your ride.
It shall ride to Valhalla, shiny and chrome.
SHINY AND CHROME
V8 V8 V8
>>
>>841744
Yeah still not happening. You're gonna have to wait for the hosts to build you a new car.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>841751
go to space bar for a drink then
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>841751
So I assume now we take control of the hosts?
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x550px)
9KB, 500x550px
>>841754
"No, why would that be the case. Silly anon"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>841758
Because dice
And OP honors winning post-aru
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>841758
Because sponsors demand three contenders for the championship to bring in the viewers!
>>
File: 1.png (16KB, 500x550px)
16KB, 500x550px
>>841762
How would a space bar have drinks silly anon
#LamePuns
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>841768
type in space fruit cocktail
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>841768
Dice God gives them a new car... because OP animated him being here.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>841768
woo keyboard
type FORMAT C:\
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x550px)
6KB, 500x550px
>>841771
Yes, very interesting
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>841777
hack the computerprintscreen desktop, put it as wallpaper and remove all icons and start bar
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x550px)
6KB, 500x550px
>>841780
What's a computer
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>841785
go drink alcohol
you'll find answer there
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>841785
Don't be retarded.
>>
>>841790
But you took a vow of non-alcoholism
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>841796
yeah, that vow really important when you dragged from your own time and place to participate in races with weird people in space where some random voices control your actions
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>841796
>What is communion wine
Ask for a Blood of Christ with Body of Christ then
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x550px)
6KB, 500x550px
>>841799
Shush, my son. Don't be retarded.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>841806
how else you gonna kill time before next race then?
with something boring like timeskip I bet?
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>841806
Scout out the next race course.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>841806
Why don't you just wololo the drink so it becomes holy water instead of alcohol?
>>
>>841812
Very simple, a straight line from start to finish, passing through a hostile barbarian village. Because there's only 3 people participating in this one.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>841817
give a friendly visit to barbarians to spread the holy word of your lord
>>
>>
File: 1.png (7KB, 500x550px)
7KB, 500x550px
>>841822
No it's these three teams. Because they're the only ones who can actually compete this round.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>841823
Snoop around we gotta do something interesting and I don't want to play as angsty teen Jojo again.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>841823
wait. what about us
we can't compete?
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x550px)
12KB, 500x550px
>>841825
"What, you gotta problem with using period blood to do things?"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>841829
we can play as shadowsis on quest of getting her husband back to give him personal hell later
>>
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>841836
I mean what can POSSIBLY go wrong with us controlling her?
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x550px)
10KB, 500x550px
>>841838
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>841836
but maybe Cleric orc is a very good dancer?
>>
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>841846
well if that happens just feed it to barbmom till she vomit
forcefully
>>
>>841849
"But I can't dance"
>>
>>841851
please, we prefer good old plain jerky, ketchup is what elves eat. Why do you think everyone hates them.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>841852
loser
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>841852
You can learn
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>841852
music is heard in the backgrpund.
UH OH TIME TO START A MUSICAL NUMBER!
>>
File: 1.png (13KB, 500x550px)
13KB, 500x550px
>>841857
"nrrrgggghhh"
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>841860
you can breakdance tho
>>
>>841862
"nnnnoo"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>841865
BREAK INTO DANCE
>>
File: 1.png (9KB, 500x550px)
9KB, 500x550px
>>841866
"Wait, no. That's the heretical skeleton dance."
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>841867
BACK TO YOUR ROOTSNo anons again, huh
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>841867
Can't you at least sing or someting?
>>
>>841868
"What roots? I ain't a skeleton"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>841871
There is a skeleton in everyone of us.
>>
>>841872
"Inside me is a holy fire"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>841875
that's only the facade
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>841875
is that an innuendo
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>841875
Musical choir joins in
HOLY FIRE BUNS IN YOUR SOUL
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>841875
DISCO INFERNO!!
>>
>>841878
Hmm yes, interesting
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>841880
so why we controlling these doofuses when they can't race
go complain that you wanna race too
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>841880
now jazz hands
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>841889
ok I'm done let's go get us a new car
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>841889
create a rock group "Holy Tarts"
>>
File: 1.png (22KB, 500x550px)
22KB, 500x550px
>>841891
SOME TIME LATER, IN THE FUUUUUUTURE (relative to your original timeline)
"Aw sweet, a Holy Tarts CD, these things are rare as shit"
"What's a CD?"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>841896
now back to our race
OP - choose who we race as via roll or we never start
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>841896
Spectate
>>
>>841900
"Aaaaand they're off, folks! The team of Barbmom and Lolisniffer takes the lead as the other two follow closely behind!"
"Isn't it weird that all 3 teams have a necromancer in them?"
"Indeed it is, why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say some shenanigans are afoot"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>841913
bet all your money and pants on Jojo team
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>841913
Do not make questionable decisions regarding money
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x550px)
6KB, 500x550px
>>841918
Good idea.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>841919
hey aren't most of the racers out of the race too? since everyone's cars got destroyed
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>841919
bet just pants then
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>841919
But DO grab some snacks, order a pizza or something
>>
>>841925
Now let's look at the menu
>>841922
Well yeah, that's why this round only 3 teams are competing
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>841929
Mystery box
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>>841929
mystery box lovers
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>841929
All of them aside of veggie one, that one for the faggots
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>841929
Poak bun pizza
>>
File: 1.png (3KB, 500x550px)
3KB, 500x550px
>>841933
And so you ordered a mystery box pizza.
A mystery box was delivered, wonder what kinda pizza is inside
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>841937
surely, orcs and mystery boxes
what can POSSIBLY go wrong?
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>841937
FOUR CHEESE!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)
A new car constructed out of pizza
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>841937
Acquire the pizza-boy's car in the name of god
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x550px)
5KB, 500x550px
>>841940
Yeah, you got a pizza with 4 pieces of chese stuck to it
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>841944
melt cheese with holyfire
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>841944
You'd demand a refund if you weren't hungry. Spread the cheese on the dough
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>841952
add some shredded barbarian jerky on it
>>
File: 1.png (6KB, 500x550px)
6KB, 500x550px
>>841957
Don't be silly, you don't have any of that stuff.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>841958
eat your raw cheese then, savage
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>841958
Nourish yourselves
>>
File: 1.png (12KB, 500x550px)
12KB, 500x550px
>>841965
You ate the pizza while the race continues
"What's this?...Yes, folks, the barbarians have summoned their iron golems in an attempt to stop the racers"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>841971
Bless them
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>841971
aw shiiiet, I hope super robot pilot is watching this too
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>841971
They also cast Meteor
>>
File: 1.png (11KB, 500x550px)
11KB, 500x550px
>>841977
MEANWHILE, INSIDE SUPER ROBOT PILOTS ROOM, HE'S...uh....training...yeah, that's it
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>841984
Band together with other racers against all this necromancy bullshit.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>841984
What's Dickass Thief doing?
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>841984
Are you winning, son?
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>841984
woah...
screw that race, this seems more fun
>>
File: 1.png (10KB, 500x550px)
10KB, 500x550px
>>841989
"Ah! N-no, master. I'm not doing anything....Wait aminute, you're not the spirit of my mentor! He's not even dead! YOu're clearly just a hallucination caused by my own sense of insecurity! Begone, apparition! Begone with you!"
"Yeah whatever bro, move over so I can see"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>842000
>DFC robot route, one without rocket boobs
mah nigga
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>842000
Let me see before I take the Sacred Pampador back.
>>
File: 1.png (17KB, 500x550px)
17KB, 500x550px
>>842005
"Hmm hmm, ya got taste mah ma--OH SHIT WATCH OUT! IT'S CH-4D!"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>842015
Rocketto punch that faggot
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>842015
Auto game over.
Should have met her in private
>>
>>842020
Super Robot Pilot may be crying himself to sleep tonight
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>842027
let's pretend we didn't see that
back to race spectating.
seems like meteors was used around salt mines near barbarian village
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>842027
He is
>>
File: 1.png (5KB, 500x550px)
5KB, 500x550px
>>842034
Such is life
>>
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>842044
First, Orc Cleric reminded him of how useless he was... now his games betray him.
Perhaps its time to kill self
>>
File: 1.png (20KB, 500x550px)
20KB, 500x550px
>>842053
Yes, perhaps. But that is a story for another time
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>842061
And here come the Flaming Rock Hard Boner Spears
>>
>>
>>842069
"BREAKING NEWS! We interrupt this program of "thanksfornotgivingmeaproperactionyoufuckingasshole" to inform you that, Barbcorps CEO, who is currently under trial for putting semen into the companys brand of toothpaste, has escaped custody. If you see this, alert the authorities and do not approach him. He is considered to be highly dangerous and incredibly homosexual"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>842077
meh, media always lies anyway. he looks trustworthy enough
>>
>>842080
No not really
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>842085
you just dislike barbarians cause they don't believe in our lord.
that's discrimination, they are perfectly normal savages, just a bit uncultured and rude
>>
File: 1.png (8KB, 500x550px)
8KB, 500x550px
>>842090
Hmm hmm yes, very interesting, sure.
Now it's time to put thrread on hold because there's nobody here.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>842104
yep, just wanted to propose that too. it's 1.30 AM here, gotta sleep
thanks for bread OP, have a good nightBarbs did nuthin' wrong
>>
File: smug grin.png (6KB, 400x400px) Image search:
[Google]
6KB, 400x400px
>>842108
>this post
>>
File: smug grin 2.png (6KB, 400x400px)
6KB, 400x400px
>>842125
>
>>
wise fwom your gwave
Thread posts: 746
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