chef quest

>>825978
well shit, make some fucking spaghetti

>>826051
Dunce first we need to find a large pot.

>>826100
Nah you gotta prep the ingredients first.

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>>826100
+large pot

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>>826178
fuck, that hurts
blood is a health hazard

>>826222
you make a mental note to make tendies

>>826222
>>826518
Pepe is over.

>>826542
Post some Trump pepes

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>>826504
ok you do that but should really get started on that spaghetti

>>826564
(thanks pepe friend)

>>828611

As spagetti expert, you will need to fill the water in the large pot and warm it until it start to boil.

After the water boiled you will need to lower the heat. Then add the spagetti, some salts and olive oils.

Wait unti the spagetti getting soft until it is al dente. You can test by either tasting it or throwing (NOT ALL SPAGETTI!) it at the wall to see if it get stuck on the wall.

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>>828657
ok, you start to fill up the pot

you can only suggest one action at a time

>>828702

Ok but first... You seriously need to give yourself first aid. Bleeding around the kitchen is not very hygiene.

>>828702
Next up we need to build a fire. Maybe we can burn the run the oven is sitting on.

>>828763
burn the rug* the oven is sitting on

>>828702

>>828716
Seconding

>>828716
no we should totally bleed on it to give it that personal touch. Just make a mental note to add sweat and tears later on just so that you can say it as the punchline for whoever is going to eat this.

>>828716
nah, we can put it in the tomato sauce to give it a bit of a kick

>>828702

As the Italians put it, the water you cook pasta in should be like the ocean, salty, with plenty of room for the spaghetti to swim.

Make sure the pot is generously filled, salted liberally with a dash of olive oil to prevent sticking.

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>>828763
you start turn up the heat

>>830294
woopsie, seems we sperged out and made an entire dish of ravioli

and while italian, it's not what was ordered, so just put it in our pockets for safe keeping.

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>>828716
you add the first aid kit to your in inventory

>>829368
where are you gonna hold all those bodily fluids first?

>>830460
>where are you gonna hold all those bodily fluids first?
there should be bowls all over the place, we're in a kitchen

>>830460
put 'em in a shamwow or your pockets.

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>>830513
you get most of the blood of you and into a bowl
you add the blood bowl to your in inventory
you make a mental note to collect sweat and tears

>>830776
Save that blood for later, it must be used for the sauce later on.

For now place the pot on the stove to boil the water in it.

>>830776

Put the pot with water on the fire till it boils.

Meanwhile get the spaghetti... you have the spaghetti, right?

>>830776
Turn on all the stove tops to max, and set the oven for the maximum temperature and leave it open. Get ready to collect your sweat.

>>830776
Take off all your clothes before anything else. I like to cook in the nude.

>>830776

Consider calling your friend, "Hugo" from Luigi's. Ask if he has some frogs you could use for the tendies.

Prepare the onions. You might not use them for the sauce (maybe you do), and cut them as shitty as possible. Get bowl, collect tears.

harvest smegma for spagheti

>>831483

Question here would be if our dick-cheese is of appropriate quality.
And exists in the first place.
Not sure if we have to clean our noodle before we are allowed to work. Hygene standarts, and all.

>>831498
harvest dick cheese
turn dick cheese into spagheti
cook lel dick cheese spagheti
serve covered in period sauce

>>831549
Now this is just stupid.
There is no way near enough cheese for that.
We use it as the parmesan.
It's called dick CHEESE after all.

>>831829
Off to /pol/ you go.

>>828611
Mummy comes from you ising your bitch summoning stick. All 400 lbs of you wondering why she didnt put on Bear in the Big blue house

>>831483
All smegma is going to make the smegma battleship you pleb

>>830985
Mummy didnt get the spaghetti with a kanji label so you flip shit and in a chris chan like rage and shit and piss yourself while your waiting for mummy to come

>>831584
>>832116
We will be able to harvest from the smegma battleship to make our spagheti. But i agree, might be better to substitute it for parmasean. but then what is the pasta?

>>830776
nned more chef quest.
come back op

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>>834861
(just for you anon)

>>830976
The pot is filled to the brim and its hard not to spill it, which you do all over the carpet

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>>830985
of course you have spaghetti, what kind of chef would you do without spaghetti

>>835924
Start working out while thepot comes to a boil, and get ready to collect your sweat.

>>835924
Did you just toss the spaghetti in before the water started boiling? That's gunna mess with the cook times!

>>837558
Fuck just ehh throw some hot shit in there make it boil faster

>>837565
>throw in some hot shit
>hot shit
>shit

Now youve done it

>>837565
>>837567
Take a steaming dump in the pot to cook the pasta faster

Mix some highly toxic pesticides, fertilizer, and livestock antibiotics in there for MAXIMUM FLAVOR!

>>837567

Oh snap

how many times must we beg for chef quest op?

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>>831353
>>831370
you're really sweating up a storm!!

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>>831483
you have none

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>>837591

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>>846249
You burned your feet dumbass!

Cook some godamn mince you dumbass chef

Regain your composer child. Put your pants back on.

>>853801
wait no, put on just an apron so that you can seduce the waiter when he comes to get the food.

>>853844
this