Thread replies: 33
Thread images: 11
Thread images: 11
It was a beautiful day outside. Probably. You couldn't exactly check without interrupting all the shitposting you were doing.
No, you really didn't care whether it was sunny outside, rainy, or maybe even a winter wonderland. All you cared about was winning arguments on the internet and collecting dank memes.
But your usual schedule of 'doing nothing, and lots of it' was about to be readjusted quite drastically.
As I said, you are currently in your room, when a feeling of dread starts to fill you.
What do you do?
>>
Fap
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>>764722
tired of the long arguments you just successfully won, you decide to reward yourself by furiously beating your meat to the Emma Watson sex tape that you received from your close hacker friend.
It feels glorious.
>>
I decide to go outside, jk, I proceed to browse more dank memes
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>>764743
Foment a civil war in the United States by posting "Red Team Planner" and related caps
The aim being to teach the public that an armed conflict with the government is winnable thus increasing the likelihood of it happening
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>>764758
After you are done cleaning up the mess, you decide that that was enough fun for now, now it's time to go back to business and do some real work.
But wait, what's that?
Your PC seems to be unable to connect to the wifi for some reason.
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I grab my pc, my dog and some food and wait the war out in my crawl space
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>>764786
What war? There's no war.
And what dog? There certainly is no dog. You never in your life have ever even entertained the notion of possessing a dog. If anything, you are more of a feline person. The thought of possessing a dog is absolutely absurd. So what exactly do you mean by grab my do...
dog?
Where did the dog come from?
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>>764782
Kill myself
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>>764806
Pet the dog
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>>764808
A dog? You can't take care of no dog. But you also can't just get rid of it, you have no idea where the nearest animal shelter would be.
Forget finding the shelter, even if you found it, you'd have to talk to actual people to get rid of it! The thought alone is so absurd that you just decide to quit.
Better end this quickly before even more animals show up.
Luckily you always keep an emergency rope around for occasions like this.
>>
I like dogs
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>>764842
Realize that if you kill yourself you'll basically be a an hero.
No one wants to be a an hero.
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>>764856
the longer you think about it, the less of a good idea killing yourself appears. You already have the rope around your neck when you realize just how bad of an idea this really is. What if people will celebrate you as the hero you are afterwards? Without you around? Without you around to collect all the karma on reddit and the responses to your self-conglaturatory threads on 4chan? No, that'd be horrible.
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>>764869
Realize all the memes you'll miss.
All the shitposting you won't be able to do.
The random people on the internet you won't get to call a faggot.
>>
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>>764878
Oh all the things you would miss! The memes, the shitposting, the calling other people faggot.
Yeah, you'd miss the last one the most.
No, being an hero would not be your thing.
No, it'd be better to just call it quits. For that all you have to do is get out of the rope, without accidentally falling of the chair you are standing on.
Easier said than done.
(roll a dice to see if you succeed)
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Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>764910
Don't chunk this shit.
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>>764911
You god damn idiot! You kicked the stool away from you instead of steadying your step! You are currently hanging in the air, holding onto the rope with all of your strength.
Maybe if you swing you can still manage to get hold of the stool with your feet! Quick, roll a dice!
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Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>764920
LET THE DANK MEMES FLOW THROUGH YOU.
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>>764927
critical failure.
In your struggle to free yourself you accidentally break your own neck.
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Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>764920
Rolling to save
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>>764952
Welp gg
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>>764957
...and that's the last thing you remember.
You are somewhere. You know that the events that just unfolded weren't a dream, yet somehow things feel... different.
There's no pain. There's not much of anything.
You don't know what's going on, you are just really really sleepy.
What now?
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>>764964
Try yelling
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>>764964
See if there's wifi
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>>764964
Face palm.
You killed yourself on accident.
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>>764964
Wiggle fingers and toes
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>>765107
+1
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>>764964
Can quadriplegics move their penises? Make him try.
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>>764964
Get up? Yell out to see if anyone's here.
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>>764964
develop telekinetic powers to move panel on wall
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>>764964
Kill myself
Thread posts: 33
Thread images: 11
Thread images: 11