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elaborate on the story

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Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 4

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we serve the servants of denial in order to feed or retreat into the high night of a sunlit moon.

the crescent overflows into the creek of the damned. with the darkened dam only illuminating small portions of loss with a divine wind shedding itself into the dark refuge where the men hide.

harshly does the harr pound its strength onto the boulders shadowing their increasing lustrous fear. the night welcomes them warmly into the deeper existence they seek.

settled around the fire do they impede their presence with dancing to the rhythm of the wind that becomes their window.
>>
as the works settle on the ground in front the group begins to speak fear without distrustful success
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>>741541
Fuck off, Myrmidon.
>>
>>741552
>>741552
the lower sheaths help them create theirselves as their understanding grows by isolation.

the isolation creates a sense of numbness within theirselves. their anchor begins to wane as the harr finally begins to pass.

mishuel steps outside using his thick dew ridden coat still being buffeted by the now weakening harr, as he awaits the second buffet to hit his chest despite the pain the harr induces
>>
+keep the thread alive. need to sleep
>>
>>741587
his dreaded experienced touches his doing cost, hid only warmth being sheltered by his thick cut coat.

mishuel turns his head back from the harr and expresses his humanity into his right and wrong. they don't even speak or utter the truth, the others still awaiting mishuel's approval.

he finally turns back as the frost begins to crystallise over his jacket. hurriedly he rushes in uttering only 'second wave'
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>>741697
It is a good thing I don't have photosensitive epilepsy.
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>>741697
>>742777
walking back into the filaments of light created by the shuddering embers of the fire, his beard glistens the effects of the hoarse wind have made marks upon his clothing.

trowing his coat down towards to walk he grunts and locks eyes with the fire.

"this tormented wind will not leave for days, perhaps months. we must leave or we will perish, too"

a round of acknowledgement runs through the circumference in their circle of protection.

"everyone must get some rest and we will descend into the valley after the third wave"
>>
This is actually pretty interesting, but you need to provide a way to interact with the setting.

Also, learn to capitalize and punctuate. This isn't Tumbler, so we'll be expecting you to type like an adult.
>>
>>743557
adult is a word you've defined, so I'll type how I want. if I had a computer id use the punctuation you love so much.

but I'll use what i like to

as addendum, I'll need to draw a simple map
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>>743611
map of the setting of this story
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>>743538
the remainder of the men cover themselves in what's left of their rich hides. their lives feel held on! mishuel's hand, wrapping themselves up tightly teeth chattering as crickets on a sun me moon.

mishuel suits on a large log around the fire and glances all around struggling to show how they'll be ready to leave.
>>
>>743884
mishuel begins to wander around the fire becoming less and less vibrant as the ash dances out from under the flames. only illuminated by what feels like fading moonlight, he steps back and lays down next to his now smaller group.

'the harr takes all' he mutters hoarsely under his breath. mushroom

mishuel's second hand awaits and queries shortly with 'all? we're still beginning'
"open are the nights as we wait for the wind to diminish, this is the simpler area of the journey. we will be sleeping in hollow frosts and when the day wakes we must continue forth"

arthur nods knowing that it could be the last time he's going to hear such a statement
>>
would like some feedback and ideas for a direction I should take this

I've added some dialogue
>>
>>746302
You already had some feedback. It's sorta interesting, but the uncapitalized words and the lack of proper punctuation detracts from the quality in a substantial way.
If you'd notice, R22R was the only one following your story and when he gave you advice you brushed him off and he seemingly left. He's right about needing quest prompts. You're just telling a story, not running a quest.
>>
>>746350
hmm. I feel I'm doing it right. just too high level

let's end it here then. thanks tho
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>>746352
>High level
>So high our tiny brains can't comprehend
>Such a high level quest doesn't need to be interactive
>Triggered.jpg
>>
>>746358
>>746352
We don't even necessarily need prompts. We just need a clear indication of when we are supposed to act.

It is completely possible to run a quest that thrives on submitted responses.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 4


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