Jedi Apprentice Quest #11

>>737546
look who got unfrozen from the carbonite

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>>737546
Your name is Zev, and you’re a Jedi, from a certain point of view.

You have no idea how old you really are, if Zev is really your name in the first place, and all things considered you’re probably not the sort that would be considered a good person. Over the years of your life on Nar Shadda you stole, bribed, hurt, and even killed people to survive in the metal hell that was the ‘Glorious Moon’ of the Hutt criminal empire.

It’s entirely likely that given enough time you’d have found your end in some disgusting back alley behind a cantina, some deal gone wrong, blasters drawn, and either shot or having a vibroknife sticking out of your gut.

But… something in your fate changed.

The little tricks you’d always been able to do, to move things around with your mind, to sense and react to things that you couldn’t see… you always thought they were some sort of strange talent that was unique to you, something that made you special compared to the billions of others on Nar Shadda alone. It came as a shock when you learned that there were others like you, people known as Sith, or Jedi, or other strange terms that were unique to the variety of species that you’d met.

They had power over this strange concept known as The Force, something that allowed them to do great, wondrous feats that made your simple lifting of rocks look like an insect buzzing around a Rancor.

Most would chalk up the idea of being able to escape Nar Shadda as nothing but a fool’s dream, if you’d found yourself stuck on the smuggler’s moon there was little you could do to escape if you didn’t already have the means. Credits were hard to come by, and no Captain of any ship would take pity on a dirty street rat to take him off world.

When the Jedi came, though, saying that they had felt you, heard you calling to them through the Force, and when the offer came to take you away from the only life you’d ever known, you didn’t hesitate to accept it. Carrying only the clothes on your back, a pack of the meager possessions that you had the chance to call your own, and a hold out blaster that had exchanged more hands than years you’d been alive, you boarded the Jedi transport and didn’t look back.

That, that was months ago, you soon found yourself on the world of Tython, the home of the Jedi after they’d be pushed from Coruscant.

The quiet of the world, the sounds of nature, the smell of grass…

It made you feel sick the first time you experienced it.

But this was your home now, the place where you could make something of yourself no matter what sort of background that you’d come from. The Jedi didn’t care who you were, or how you’d lived, all they wanted was another member for their Order… and you were a terrible choice.

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>>737556
It was meant to be an exercise to show how little you and those like you truly understood, yet through deceit, taunting, and dirty fighting, you defeated the opponent you were given, humiliating the similarly aged boy and putting yourself of the spotlight of the Academy, for better or worse.

Not until later, when alone with a girl that you’d eventually come to call your friend, would you learn just how unexpected it was that you had won, especially in the manner that you did. You relied on your emotions, letting them dance across your face and be known through words as you fought, pulling them out from others as well. Traits of the Dark Side, things that had worried the Masters that were present, yet they had found none of it in you during the fight.

Even later on, you’d be told that was more frightening than if they had discovered the Dark Side within you…

Time would move on, as it always did, and you’d meet two people that would forever change your life.

Renari, the Daughter of a deceased Sith Lord, another apprentice at the Jedi Academy but one that was never given a proper session of training. The Jedi feared her, even if they wouldn’t admit it, the thought that she might turn to the Dark just as her father had prevented any Master from choosing to take her under their wing. She was a lonely girl, one that confided many of her fears and concerns for the future with you in the moments you shared together. The conflicting views in her mind regarding both the Sith and Jedi leaving her confused at what she wanted for her future.

The other would be your Master, Tikran. A Torgruta Jedi Master that from time to time sat in on the Jedi Council, an expert in the agility based lightsaber form of Ataru. By far and away your Master was the most playful Jedi you’d met so far, laughing at your terrible jokes and encouraging your growth in a way you think a Mother might….

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>>737564
It was during a day of freedom and relaxation when you brought Renari along to investigate the Republic Warship that had come to Tython, the small spaceport that the Academy kept was alive in ways that you’d never seen before. A meeting between yourself, Renari, and the Captain of the vessel hanging over your heads had resulted in an invitation to come aboard, something that you eagerly agreed to.

Little you had known though, that the ship would be forced into a Hyperspace Jump away from Tython, the Empire having launched an attack on the Rabaan system. Another surprise came when Tikran, who you hadn’t even been aware was on the ship, had left you ‘in charge’ while she and another Jedi Master lead a strike team against the enemy’s flag ship.

Naturally, it didn’t go as smoothly as you’d have hoped, the enemy having elected to send their own strike force as well, which had resulted in you being forced into combat against a Sith. Stuck with a training lightsaber that was modified to be of some use, it was only thanks to your quick foot work, sharp mind, and natural abilities with the Force that you came out on top… but the battle is far from over, and you sense a coming darkness that sends chills down your spine.

>Recording END

>>737546
HYPE

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HYPE HYPE HYPE! TIME FOR BOOPING!

Oh shit. Hey Eail. Time to get back with the best Jedi and his Sith fuck buddy

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>>737576
You're left trying to catch your breathe after the explosion of Force energy you just let out around yourself, feeling slightly lightheaded after drawing on so much in such a short amount of time.

You're strong, but you're not skilled enough to handle incredible blasts like that just yet... but at the very least you were lucky enough to where it seems like your maneuver was enough to knock your foe out of commission, the Sith crumpled in a heap on the durasteel floor of the hangar bay.

A few more moments and you're able to catch your breathe, but the blaster fire from both sides of this little conflict have heated up yet again. Soldiers of the Empire firing upon those of the Republic, doing the same in return.

Your Makashi style isn't fit for redirecting blaster bolts, and your skill in Ataru isn't that amazing to where you're sure if you can weave your blade the way you need to... it doesn't help that in the back of your mind, as though a foul sludge is forming, you can almost taste the Dark Side.

You have no idea what you need to be doing now, the Sith, he was a foe that you could concentrate on, devote yourself to taking him down. With all of this... you don't even know where to begin.

>Assist the Republic Soldiers against the Empire.
>Find Renari
>Investigate the Sith you defeated
>Track down this darkness that you're feeling.

Wait so did anything change? No retcons to anything so far? Or are you just gonna be less cringey from now on

>>737639
>Assist the Republic Soldiers against the Empire.

>>737639
>Track down this darkness that you're feeling.
Zev don't run from no bitch as Sith.

>>737639
>Assist the Republic Soldiers against the Empire.

>>737639
>Assist the Republic Soldiers against the Empire.

>>737639
>Assist the Republic Soldiers against the Empire.
Good to have you back.

>>737645
Nothing major changed per say, I'm just hoping I can improve the quality of the writing overall.

Though for the moment I feel sick about even writing, this was a good idea!

>Calling the vote

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Silly question that I figure all of you might actually want a chance at.

>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

OR

>Don't take it, you don't need a Sith's weapon

>>737797
>>Don't take it, you don't need a Sith's weapon

>>737797
>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade
Zev is not picky

>>737797
>>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

>>737797
>>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

Better to have it and not need it and all that jazz.

>>737797
>>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

Yo, free loot!

>>737797
>Don't take it, you don't need a Sith's weapon
The force provides

>>737797
>>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade
everybody likes free stuff

>>737797
>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

>>737797
>Take the Sith's lightsaber, it's a real one unlike your training blade

Wouldn't hurt. Might need to cut through some blast doors or something.

Sith Lightsaber GET

>Writing the next post now

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>>737841
You're going to need to deal with the situation at hand before going after any other sort of problem. The Republic soldiers that are fighting in this hangar need your assistance against the Empire, that strange feeling of Darkness can wait for a bit.

Taking a step forward, you pause, looking back to the unconscious Sith that you'd managed to defeat, the man's de-activated lightsaber resting nearby having rolled out of his hand.

Unlike your modified training blades, this is a real weapon, a true lightsaber, and with what you're going to be getting into, you're going to need whatever advantage you can possibly get.

Reaching out with the Force, you will the weapon to you, the metal tube flying through the air and coming to rest in your palm. It's a little gaudy for your taste, but this thing will do for the moment. Giving it a little twirl to test the weight of the saber, you thumb it's activation switch, the crimson blade coming to life.

>Roll 3d10 please Zev

Rolled 10, 8, 7 = 25 (3d10)

>>737883

Rolled 8, 3, 9 = 20 (3d10)

>>737883

Rolled 4, 3, 3 = 10 (3d10)

>>737883

Rolled 38, 32, 47 = 117 (3d100)

>>737883
Rollin boss

>>737890
LOOKS LIKE ZEV LUCK IS HARD AT WORK

>>737901
Goddamnit sleepy....

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>>737890
It's like Zev never left

>>737909
Best. Jedi. Ever.

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>>737909
Using two blades is something that you've got no training with, and you don't imagine that for the purpose of deflecting blaster fire, it'd be that useful. So you end up stuffing the yellow bladed dueling saber that you normally use back onto your belt, letting it hang alongside the other training saber you carry.

It's supposed to be the Jedi's job to maintain the peace, and the way you see it, the quickest way to get back to that status quo is to start raising some havoc in a way that only you could. A very un-Jedi like smile creeping it's way onto your lips as you give your new weapon a little twirl.

Pushing off, you're diving into the Empire's makeshift lines behind boxes and docked ships, the crimson blade in your hands a whir as you hack, slash, and stab your way through the lines of the enemy.

You're not putting your full power behind any of these strikes, nor fighting like some kind of berserker. Every movement is calculated instantly in your mind as you do your best to keep up your speed.

By the time you're on your second score of soldiers, that strange feeling of Darkness you've felt in your mind is coming up again, like it's growing closer... or stronger, either way, it's not reassuring.

>Keep cutting through the Empire's lines, you're making a difference here
>Go after that Dark feeling, it's making you uncomfortable.
>Fall back and try to get a read on the situation from safety.

>>737972
>>Keep cutting through the Empire's lines, you're making a difference here

>>737972
>Go after that Dark feeling, it's making you uncomfortable

>>737972
>Fall back and try to get a read on the situation from safety.

>>737972
>Keep cutting through the Empire's lines, you're making a difference here

>>737972
>Fall back and try to get a read on the situation from safety.

Gotta figure out where we can be the most effective. Cutting down enemy soldiers is nice, but they could be after something specific here.

>>737972
>>Go after that Dark feeling, it's making you uncomfortable.

>>737972
> Fall back and assess
Did we actually make sure that Sith was dead? Because if not they may come looking for their lightsaber

>>737972
>Fall back and try to get a read on the situation from safety.

Is it possible to just lose your passion for writing overall? I thought if I went back to something I'd find it again, but God I just...

>>738019
Don't know what ta tell ya mate. Just don't go on an arson kick yeah?

>>738019
I do a lot of writing. It happens. Sometimes you just need to take a break, reconnect with what gives you the warm fuzzies and inspiration, sometimes you're depressed and need to deal with that first, sometimes you're just fuckin busy.

>>738019

It can be hard to unwind with something or get the creative juices flowing if you're stressed or just really busy.

Test

>>738061
>>738068
>>738079
I've got the problem where there's so many ideas going about in my head that I want to get out, but I'm never satisfied with the way I do it.

I look back on my previous works with disgust and shame because I know they're bad but I don't know how I can actually improve my writing when I hate it so much.

Right now I feel like I'm just drudging through this thick swamp or something when writing, like it's a struggle for every word

>>738116
I mean, if it means anything, I always come back and re-read JAQ because it's so much fun.

>>738116

On the bright side, that feeling of never being satisfied with your work can spur you on to keep trying to improve your stuff.

But for what it's worth, I'm always pretty hype to participate and read your quests.

>>738116
I never saw a problem with your writing.

>>738116
Eail, We call that being an adult. Finishing something we start even if we grow to dislike it. The past is the past, all you can do is change the future.

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>>738116

Eail, The reason why you have so many ideas is because you crave novelty. Everyone does. You've become addicted to novelty because you crave constant stimulation.

What you need to do instead is focus on doing the task you are doing as well as possible without distraction. It is not as exciting as the rush or thrill of trying new things, but goddamn do you feel better and more complete.

As an analogy, its the difference between eating a turkey dinner and stuffing your face with candy and donuts. One is better and gives a lasting feeling of contentment, the other gives you a sugar rush and then a crash (like what you are experience now).

So focus on crafting and doing one thing well.

>>738116
Eail, all artists have that. It drives you to improve, because you always look at your own stuff and no matter how good it is, it's never good enough.

If we didn't like your writing, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't lament the loss of Zev or Bruce and want more. We'd just be like "Meh, that sucked."

If you need to take breaks and pace yourself, that's fine. We want you to feel up to writing too, just trust me when I say we enjoy it and you'd know if we didn't.

>>738144
>>738222
When I'm often told by an English major and professional writer how garbage my writing is, that sorta has an effect.

I wish I'd had someone to slap the shit out of me when the tank shooting thing came up or at least better explained it as magic so I wouldn't be forever mocked for it

>>738311
>English Major
Kek
>Professional Writer
Even more kek

Tell them to fuck off, Suck you're cock or move the fuck on. Their are always going to be haters under-fucking-stand Eail? Now stop being a little bitch, take a few shots and get writing.

>>738311
>English major and professional writer
Tell him to put his dick where his mouth is and run a quest on 4chan.

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>>738311

Most professionals aren't professional.

Has he

1.) told you how you can improve
2.) shown you where you can improve
3.) given you specific, concrete examples of what prose/diction should be used?

or has he just said "Its crap"? There is a difference between constructive criticism and being a dick, and if he didn't try to at least show you how to write better/clearer then you shouldn't really pay him much attention.

Also, you write for entertainment rather than winning a nobel prize in literature. I wouldn't use a sniper rifle to clear a house, i would use a automatic shotgun with a wide spread. You write in a specific way for a specific audience.

He sounds like a eagle criticizing that a penguin can't fly, even though it wouldn't work well in the penguins environment.

>>738311
I kind of have to agree with >>738311 and >>738350
It's easy to point out flaws and give shit for dick for helpfull advice.

>>738393
fucking god dammit i ment >>738324

Fuck you Eail you burnout motherfucker, stop riding the popularity train and go finish the other 2 quests you have on anonkun.

Jesus fucking christ

>>738311
Eail, as someone who has had their writing published, your work is not professional. It could be, if you worked hard at it, and made it your focus for a couple of years, but honestly it's not worth the effort. Your writing is enjoyable exactly as it is, and while it's not something that'll make it's way through a publishing company...well, we're not here for professional writing. I have books that I haven't read yet, and I'd still prefer to read your writing over that.

It's not about your shit being "Good Enough." They aren't your audience. We are. And we fucking love that shit, man. And you know what? If you want us to give you some constructive criticism, we will. We'll go through every word you've written and do whatever it takes to help you improve. Because you're our dealer of pure columbian cocaine tier writing.

>>738407
Eh, part of the reason I'm not amazing is because my education, poor as it already was, never actually included any classes on how to actually write in a proper manner.

Our English classes were mostly just about understanding the absolute basics of things, no actual instruction on how to do it ourselves.

Still, you made me feel better a bit anon, so thanks for that.

Next thing I do is probably a Norway time skip in WMM, the snow is fun and then I could introduce supernatural elements

>>738441
Wait, seriously? Shit man, you've got good writing for that.

>>738455
I'd never done a book report or anything of the sort before college, just a "Paragraph" long essay for school even in senior year.

Kinda makes me wonder how I figured anything out honestly.

>>738496
Fuck those guys, then. The fact that your writing is as good as it is is impressive.

But seriously, we're here to help you if your goal is to improve your writing. There's also other websites like Spacebattles and Sufficient Velocity that are far more anal heh about these things than 4chan, if you're serious about improving your writing.

Just remember, you're writing for you. Not for some fat old fucks who think they are the only judges of tasteful writing in the world.

>>738535
Thanks anon, though I have to ask, have you been a player of mine in other places before while using a name? The way you write is very familiar

>>738611
Not with a name.

Who do I remind you of?

>>738624
Couldn't place it off the top of my head, but you were quite familiar. Maybe Call?

You should get a name on Akun and namefag in my quests, you've got a good head on your shoulders

>>737546
Your mother was right, you'll never amount to anything.

>>738654

now that we've buttered you up, how about them posts?

>>738654
>Namefagging
>On Akun
You're hilarious, Eail.

Anyways, I've got other things to take care of. You have fun writing, which I hope you'll continue to do.

>>738654
>Eail actually just came back to 4chan to get his dicked sucked
Honestly I'm not the least bit surprised

>>738654
what do you run on Akun?

>>738779
War Makes Monsters and Bleach:Death and the Inferno

>>738795
Admittedly, I don't care much for Akun or anime-based quests, so your JAQ is the only one I've been really interested in.

>>738795
Ah. i have seen war makes monsters but never bothered to click on it. now that killer is taking a break from the traveler i will have some time to read it.

>>738817
Just don't read chat archive.

>>738844
you know now that you said that i will make a point to.
but i still have to ask. why?

>Oh a thread!

>Oh wait no it's a support circle for Eail

>>738890
I feel the same way, Just here still waiting to see if he does another fucking update or wants to whine some more like a child.

>>738908
let him whine. he will get it all out eventually and find his passion again. then maybe we will get a real thread.

Zev should stick the lightsaber up his ass or something and be one with the force.

>>738925
Doubtful.

So...uhh is this happening? Really missed Zev and his exploits

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>>739852
It was happening 5 and a half hours ago.
Now?
I dunno.

I loved that 24 hour stint he did, fucking solid man

>>738116
The only advise I can give you is this: The worst judge of someones work is the creator of said work. You either think your hot shit or just shit. Trust in the anons to tell you that your writing is good or garbage.

>>745800
I don't think this quest is happening anymore, son.
Best to just move on.

>>738795
okay. just finished up war makes monsters. and i cant help but notice the last time you ran was in August? have you put in on hiatus or something?

>>738795
Still hoping you'll find it in you to continue. The JAQ were fun as fuck, playing as a drunk arcosian your dbz quest felt unique from the other dbz quest. Broosel wins lol.