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Fantasy Quest.
You are the bellow average dude, you walk up in the morning, go to your shitty job, regret dropping out of college, get home, play vidya, watch pirated shows online with your bad internet. Until one day when you go to your job, fall asleep.
You swear you only closed your eyes for a moment but you see your surroundings have changed from the blue walls of your department store to an intersection in what looks like a backwards town.
You look around more and see that this is no back country town, this is a fantasy world. You see animal people walking around, and as you look around more, you realize that you cannot read the writing on the signs. You look around and see that there are 4 roads, each go in a cardinal direction. You look around and see what seems like 3 bars, 2 unmarked houses, possibly a tavern, and several guards longing outside one of the unmarked house.
Your clothes are the same as you left them, jeans and a t-shirt which have not been washed in 3 days, your wallet, a pocket knife, a lighter, and your iPhone.
What happens?
TL:DR
First post the ends in 2,4, or 7 chose what will happen.
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Go to pub and impress them with my lighter in an attempt to get free booze.
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>>68735
Reroll
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>>68735
You walk to the nearest bar, pub 2. When you walk in the patrons of the bar start giving you weird looks, like you just entered a KKK meeting with your black friend Jimmy. As you go in you pronounce you are a GREAT WIZARD who needs booze as fuel for his astounding powers. You take out your lighter and the flame stands over 3 inches tall. Every single person in the bar turns away and they seem like they have seen better.
However, there is one man who seems impressed by your actions, he wears a blue hat and has long legs and long, bendy arms. Although he fits a description of what you call a wizard he seems untrustworthy,
what do you do?
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>>68808
Approach the wizard and show him the fire trick again. I also ask him for booze.
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>>68840
Also, just so the thread doesn't 404 ill take anything like the cock slut I am.
When you approach the man in the corner he smiles, you take out your lighter yet again and show him your "magical" fire. He just smiles and asks if you want a drink. You gladly accept and start happily getting drunk. While you are 20 and your drinking age back home is 21 you don't give a fuck. This is a Fantasy world damn it!
However, while you and your drink are just getting acquainted that wizard like fucker just goes up, clocks you in the head with his stringy arms. You wake up once again but this time, you're in the bar. You check your person and realise that you're down the pocketknife and the lighter. You can't tell what time it is but it sure looks darker outside than it did previously.
The bar tender does not seem happy.
What do you do?
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>>68909
Ask the bartender what happened and check my cell phone to see if it has a signal or anything new on it.
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>>68941
Well after getting yourself up you look at the shit you still have. You still have your phone and your wallet, which also happened to be in your left pocket while the long armed mother fucker took the stuff from your right. You look at your phone hoping for a single or maybe wifi or something but nothing. Your phone is at 76%, down from the starting 79%.
After checking yourself and your belongings you head to the barkeep. In the sternest tone possible you ask him "what happened?" the bar keep has seemingly no idea but it seems like he got bribed. So now you are in a tavern, no money, you lost your only useful item, and your head hurts.
What do you do?
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>>69169
Head to the normal looking house and knock on the door, telling the owners I am a traveler who needs a room who will tell stories in exchange for a bed.
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>>69169
East
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>>69200
You quickly finish the remainder of the beer and you wish to feel like you need a place to stay. As soon as you head outside it seems dark. Although you don't know the exact time it seems like it is almost twilight. You cross the road without issue, although you are getting some looks.
Once you cross the street you head over to the normalish looking house, if you could call it that. It looks like a mixture of medieval and roman architecture with the large use of towers and columns in the design. Something about this house gives off the sign of prestige and sophistication. As you are walking up to the twin iron doors you are an approach but a man in a bright green uniform. He asks you who you are and what you want, you are unsure what to say.
What do you do?
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>>69299
Snap his neck.
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>>69299
Tell him you're a Nigerian prince, and you need aid retrieving your money back.
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>>69317
There is something about that man seems off, so you do what any normal human would do in your situation, run forward and try to snap his neck in half. However, due to a combination of 0 athleticism, you being dead tired, and having a headache when you rush forward to snap his neck you get slapped, shoved on the ground, and the man draws a sword. You seem pretty fucked and you can no longer think straight. The man demands you state who you are and where you come from or faces the consequences,
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>>69347
Original rules now apply.
In between you being drunk and the fact that your rushing towards him trying to snap his neck, you can't seem to ask him for his social security and credit card number. This probably contributes to your failure.
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>>69387
Yell RAPE and watch him get beat by 20 cops.
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>>69424
As you try the age old tactic of pretending a more muscular man is raping you it fails. The guards seem to be interested but in a way that is different to your intentions and the man cuts of your hand for not answering his question. As you fall to the ground in pain you only have several moments of consciousness left in you.
What do you do/say.
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>>69487
I'm sueing you for unnecessary force when I wake up.....
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>>69522
Your last words before you go into a forced bedtime are "I'm sueing you for unnecessary force when I wake up....." With your final moment of consciousness you look at the man whose neck you just tried to snap, he has nothing but pure confusion on his face. The blood pools around your eyes and you feel yourself drifting away.....
In your sleep you feel as if you are having a vision. There is a man who seems strangely flamboyant and he introduces himself as the Fetus Wizard. You try to move to run away but you are stuck and unable to move. He seems helpful and he might be able to help you.
What do you say?
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>>69581
Also forgot to say, having to switch computers so this is temporary OP ID.
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>>69581
Niggers tongue my anus
Thread posts: 22
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Thread images: 7