Vortenaras Adventure

>>67190
>Lijuran [H] (Roman / Greek)
Starting place
>Selaeotur

>>67190
-Sapiens Sapiens [H] (you/me/everyone)
-Nokarian [H] (Chinese / Indian)
Starting place
>Arpin

Tarian
New Poiros

Sapiens Zegeris
Serkorian
Serkoria

>>67190
-Sapiens Jasharis [J]
-Qerqurian [J] (Bigfoot / Polynesian)
Qermariq

-Sapiens Jasharis [J]
-Poirosian [J] (Bigfoot / Ethiopian)
-Quegun

>>67299

We have dubs ladies and gentlemen!

so now - name your valiant Hero
I can give him an in-world name
or you can name him yourself

What is your choice?

>>67331
His name is George

>>67331
Jamal

>>67331
Magno di Sion

>>67331
Samsquanch

>>67331
Sasu Kua Tacha

Since you know, Polynesian

>>67360
This

His name is Hitler

>>67341
Changing my suggestion for this

>>67382
just go with this lol

>>67360
I do like this idea actually.

>>67382
This.

Since there is a tie with the names going on, I'm just going to throw them together.

VALIANT HERO I DUB THEE

Sasu-Kua-Tacha Hitler!


Mighty Hero, you are born in the city of Qermariq, the proud capital of the Qermari Empire!
Your people are the most fearsome in the world, known for their bravery, intelligence and relentlessness.
It has been 200 years since the Ascension of Qermarutas - that doesn't matter however, because you're not a Hero yet, hell you're not even some kind of prophecy or shit like that, you're just some guy who lives under a bridge, selling abstract paintings of a man who likes to build walls to tourists.
You know, objectively speaking, you are the scum of society, but today we're going to change that.
Sasu-Kua-Tacha Hitler, pal, buddy, do you know what that thing up ahead is? Barracks.

I'm not forcing you to anything here, just making a suggestion you know.
So, do you want to get your shit together and sign up for the Imperial Navy?
Do you want to go to the Pub and maybe do something else?
Or do you want to follow the River that this Bridge you're living under leads across?

Choice is yours.

>>67360

This one.

>>67514
second too late m8
Sorry, vote was taking too long for my taste.

>>67513
Solo style. Gonna be a lone adventurer.

>>67513
The quest is clear.
We're going to the pub to try and pick up women.
Sasu-Kua-Tacha Hitler is going to crush mad puss.

>>67513
Try to find a prostitute

>>67525
>>67534
For the sake of progress I'll count these as the same answer.

So you've decided to get some pussy eh mate?
Well buddy, hate to break it to you, but unless it's the cheapest whore in town, or a chick with a serious mental illness, I honestly doubt you're getting anywhere, but hey, I don't want to discourage you here now, do I?

So Sasu-Kua-Tacha Hitler making his way downtown, visiting his nearest pub - Ye Olde Maneater - great place for your people , not so much for humans.

You go in and see some people.
There's a nice lady, seemingly alone, sitting at the bar, drinking the hard stuff.
There's another, less nice looking lady, definitely alone, eating a whole human - usually a meal for 3.
And a ton of guys, not looking particularly interesting in either of them.
They're probably just faggots I bet.

So, what are you gonna next?
Try to hit up one of the ladies?
Maybe one of the guys?

You tell me.

>>67685
>Update
Why the fuck do we eat humans?
Still, we shoud talk to the ladies.
Good that we are bondle caucasians with blue eyes.

Talk to the nice lady

>>67698
because you guys are this
>-Sapiens Jasharis [J] (imagine if bigfoot was a predator and had no hair)

>>67698
>>67701
Well you know the drill for similar answers

You head over to the nice looking lady
one of the guys sitting nearby gets up and stops you.
You're kind of nervous.
he tells you that this lady has some....odd behavior. You don't know what he's trying to tell you with that though, so you smile it off and walk straight to her.
You sit down next to her and order a drink for the both of you.
She gives you a smile and you feel confident enough to talk to her.

What are you going to say?

>>67756
I want to reproduce with you to have the best kids, our chromosomes will be one and make the perfect kid, it will ensure he will be the best human to ever live now, he will be the greatest kid and provide us alot of rewards.

Just say hi.

>>67774

You're not quite sure what to say and I'm sure it sounded better in your head, but now you're just stumbling over your words like an imbecile.
In your attempt to convey whatever you where thinking to the nice girl you shout out to her excitedly "AY BABY YOU WANT SUM FUCK?"

She's staggered by your question, but she's not exactly indicating any sort of repulsion though, so you're still good....or she's a retard.
You never know.

What are you making of your situation?

>>67847
Apologise and ask why the fuck is she not indicating repulsion.

>>68194
You apologise to the nice lady and ask her why she didn't appear to be phased by your blunt stupidity.
Turns out she likes crazy guys like you and invites you over to her room, right above the pub.
She leaves some money on the counter, paying for both of you.
A girl paying for YOU? You must be luckier than Judas when he figured out he would live another day.
She gives you a wink and smiles as she walks upstairs.

Meanwhile that other Lady, whom you noted to be a glutton, has finished her meal and gives you a seductive wink. Akward as it might be, she's clearly into you.

What are you going to do?

>>68367
Ask nice lady if she wants a threesome with fat lady

>>68655
THE DUBS HAVE SPOKEN

You give a wink at the gluttonous lady and nudge your head a little to gesture her to come with you. She's clearly smarter than you, knowing exactly what's going to happen and follows along.
As you and her arrive at the room of the pretty lady, you ask her if she's okay with having someone else join in on the fun as well.
She agrees and you enter the pretty lady's room.
She sees you both and is a little bit perplexed.
She figured your taste was a bit more refined than that, but she's not going to complain, it's not like her taste is any better to begin with.

They undress infront of you and cover themselves with the sheet, posing seductively.
You're getting all pumped up, this is it, this is your first time in the past 6 years.
And......wait what is that brushing against your leg?
Oh by the Gods....it's another man's dick....but where did it come from? You look at the pretty lady, assuming it's little miss gluttony over here, but you are mistaken. As you turn your head to see whose dick that is, you realize that pretty lady, is more of a pretty boy.
You're definitely not enjoying this experience.
Although everyone else clearly is.

You wake up hours later. This horrifying experience traumatized you pretty good.
The Pretty "lady" and that other woman left already, and apparently took your stuff with them.

So now you're sitting here, naked, no money, nothing, but at least you got to have sex again, so that's a good thing.....right?

You look around, for something, ANYTHING to put on. On your search through the chamber, you find a note, pinned to the wall with a sharp, but rusty, old kitchen knife.

You take out the knife and read the note.
"How to get Robbed! Step-1 Be gullible. Step-2 Try to fuck everything with 2 legs. Step-3 Get fucked unconscious by a Lady-boy! Step-4 Profit! "

Well that didn't help at all, but at least you got a knife now and nowhere to put it.

What's the next step in your master plan?

>>69088

drape sheets over myself, head downstairs, ask barkeep if he has heard any rumors lately

>>69156
This. And hide knife in your ass. Last night experiencie help you making room there

>>69188
Even better. Lets make your "inventory" your asshole from now on

>>69088
Take the knife and the sheets and become a ghost warrior, wandering the lands until you can find cool-as-shit spectral armor or something.

>>69233
>>69188

Ok I'm in kind of a conflict here.
I was already writng because dubs, but now we have 2 dubs influencing the same event.

So I suggest you 2 come to some kind of conclusion as to what you want to see happening.

>>69244
Suggestion: Ghosty warrior who can literally solve any situation by pulling the solution out of his ass.

>>69258
Well according to this guy >>69198
that would mean he's pulling the solution out of his inventory, and that's kind of what he does already.

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>69258
Lets roll. Highter one wins.

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>69278
fuck

>>69287
>>69297

Yeah that is a clear winner, next text segment coming up in a minute

You shove the rusty old knife up your butthole, thinking it can't be much worse than getting fucked in the ass.
Turns out it's a lot worse. Your asshole clenches tightly and your intestines shrivel up around the rusty blade.
Not exactly comfortable, but hey it's works and it's not bleeding either.
You figured that a nice spot to hide things in and want to continue using it in the future.

So with that knife up your ass, you decided to get some clothing by draping yourself with these cum-stained sheets.

You look like a ghost now, a spooky ghost!
You've heard rumors about some Human folk far far away, dressing up as Ghosts and killing dark-skinned people of their own kind.
You think it's hilarious - cattle killing each other - but you have to go and do .... anything really.
It's not like you have a whole lot of things to do.

You decided to go back down and ask the barkeeper if he heard any rumors lately.

He looks at you funny, he has this look in his eyes, the look of someone who just for the very first time in his life, saw a unicorn, a unicorn with a dildo on his fore-head, rapidly charging into a nearby nest of bees, while half the town cheered it on, taking bets on who would win in a death battle - An all powerful Alien posing as a God , calling himself a Superior Human, or a random guy who just likes to be a Hero for fun? - and was not sure what to make of it, until someone explained all these things to him, but even then he could not understand how and why something or someone would ever do something as retarded as this.
And even now he cannot even begin to fathom to amount of stupidity necessary to ask such a question, but regardless of all that, he decided to answer you anyway, hoping that you'll just simply go away.
He tells you of a "Magical" Fork somewhere in a cave near Amuqan, that some drunken Twat from New-Poiros was talking about when he went on a trip to Qe'em. A weapon he apparently didn't retrieve because of some "Government conspiracy".
He doesn't believe any of this, but hopes you do, so you will finally fuck off from his Pub.

Whut'cha gon' do 'bout it?

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>69441
fucking roadtrip montage, rolling for montage quality

File: MONTAGE!.png (23KB, 1426x707px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 1426x707px

>>69475
You think that story sounds amazing and make your way for New-Poiros immediately!

you travel out, completely ignoring all the threats to your life out there, especially starvation and dehydration, since you don't have any supplies of any kind, but who cares? You're hunting for Magical weaponry!

>>69627
realize that even a spectral adventurer like you must succumb to mortal shackles of """"""food""""" and """""water""""" stop at the spookiest place you can find.

>>69627
Take knife and kill whatever you encounter and eat it. Also search for water

>>69653
>>69702
These answers are technically conflicting, but I'll just pretend for now that they're similar for progress' sake.

Your hunger and thirst grow rapidly.
Since you people ARE predators, you HAVE to find some sort of Animal to kill, you can't eat plants, I mean sure you can, because evolution equipped you for it despite being a carnivore, but that's completely beside the point, plants are disgusting!

You search everywhere, you're close to collapsing, but in your dire situation you actually managed to find something.
It's a Human, you don't know how it got here, and what it's doing outside its cage, but it looks just about as exhausted as you.
You decide to go for it and overwhelm it.
It is no match for your superior Qermari Physique!
You gather some sticks from nearby and make fire.
You roast the flesh of the animal and drink it's blood.
Your hunger and thirst are both sated for the day, but starting tomorrow you've got to fight hunger and thirst again.
You can't really find a shelter for the night, but it's not important, it's not monsoon season yet.

You rest for the night in the open, conveniently using your "Armor" as a blanket.

(And I have to go for now too, continuing thread tomorrow)

>>69782
Bye! This seems fun. It is a shame no many people are playing.

>mfw OP's carefully crafted world is being derailed hard by traps and butthole antics

>>69978
Honestly I saw it coming and the thought of that sounded hilarious to me, so I went with that idea before I even posted.

And since I'm back now it is time to continue our adventure!

You wake up after a refreshing night of sleep.
It was a little cold, but that's the shit you have to deal with on travels, no reason to complain, really.
You don't exactly feel like searching for food and water again, and you get a feeling you might have to take a shit soon as well, but you are still well aware that these are things you have to do sooner or later, and you wouldn't want to take a dehydrated constipation shit onto your knife, would you?

Honestly, whatever you're up to now, I've got no reason to judge it, although I definitely will.

So, what's up with you today?

>>72127
Take a shit. Eat it

You decided to look around for food again, but even after an hour of looking, you can't seem to find shit.
Wait....shit...you need to take a shit.
You try your best to find a bush to shit behind, but alas there are none, so you just take it out to the open.
You take off your ghostly sheet and take that knife out of your ass then press your butt cheeks together, really REALLY hard, but alas the effort seems to be futile, despite you distinctively remembering having to take a shit.
You squat down and try again, this is not over yet, who the hell do your intestines think they are?
You press again with all of your might and finally, a long hard sausage of constipation shit has made its way out of your asshole.
You feel proud of yourself for this achievement, but you cannot help but think about food.

Knowing full well you won't find anything to eat any time soon, you decided to take a drastic measure and eat your own shit.
You've heard Humans do it, so it can't be THAT bad can it?
You pick up the sausage and close your eyes with anxiety. You slowly lead your snout to it. This is it, this is the decisive moment, you take your own shit AND EAT IT.
You feel like this is a reference to something, but you can't recall ever hearing anything like this in your life.

You gulp down the bite you just took out of your shit sausage, and ponder the taste for a moment. Your face of disgust turns into that of a genuine consideration. You've honestly had worse in your life than this, it's not that bad considering some of the shit you've eaten so far.

Looks like you're a wee bit tougher than you initially thought.
If this was some kind of board game, you'd say that your Endurance just increased.

You feel like you just achieved something.

What's the next step of your Agenda?

>>72424
Keep moving. Lets adventure some more!

You're feeling great right now so in order to celebrate your new found Endurance, you decided to continue testing yourself and keep heading toward New Poiros.

You actually don't know where to go, all you know is that you have to go east, but where is that? Confident in your non-existent abilities you just march straight forward, convinced that this is the right way to go.

You also hope to find some food along the way that you can stockpile on.

This journey goes on for about 2 more days, until hunger gets the better of you again.
On the bright-side though, there is something up ahead that resembles a cave.

Who knows what's inside that thing though?
Whatever it is, I bet you can handle it.

Where will you go from here?

>>72962
Go to cage. Running. And shouting.

>>73299
nice dubs bro

You decided to go to that cave.
You grab your knife and charge into the cave, screaming like a guy with down-syndrome on steroids.
The walls crackle and make a noise of something falling.
Maybe it was you who caused it, or something that was here previously, but who cares, whatever was in this cave, left before it even heard you.
Who knows maybe your ghost outfit IS spooky after all.

You look around for a bit and find a bag.
Inside the bag is a bit of food, a water-bottle and a cutting-board.
next to it is a rusty kitchen knife like yours, though broken in half.

Perhaps you can use the cutting-board as a shield, and even if you can't , at least you got some rations, and a small bag as well.

What you're doing with these things is up to you, it ain't my goddamn business.

>>73615
Nice picture faggot.

>>73498
Equip the shield and go explore outside

You decided to try using the cutting-board as a shield.
By hitting it a few times with your knife, you test it for it's sturdiness.
It doesn't break, so it's good enough for you.

You leave the cave again with your new found items, after shoving them up your ass, including the bag.

With some supplies on your hands now, you can care a little bit less about survival and just march on straight-forward as you did up until now.

After just a few hours you enter a forest.
It's not very dense, light still comes through, although light is fading.
You've killed quite a lot of time travelling today.
Up ahead you can see an abandoned wooden tower.
It's moldy and run-down, but it looks nice in this forest.

You wanna go inside?

>>74159
No. Fuck sleep. Keep walking until you fade

>>74159
SCALE THE TOWER LIKE A BEAST

>>74289
supported.

>>74396
>>74289
Votes win.

You approach the tower and ponder for a moment over what could be inside.
You figured that whatever could be in there, is probably too much for you and if you ever want to take it down, you'll have to surprise it, so you decide you climb the tower from the outside.

You have a hard time climbing the thing, primarily because you're weak as shit.
On the plus side, you're also really light, so I guess it's even.

It takes you a good 20 minutes with your weak little arms to climb that damn thing, even though it's barely as tall as the trees around.
A testament to how much you suck.
But hey at least you reached the top now.
There's an open trap-door with a ladder leading back down, and some arrows scattered on the ground.

You look down into the tower, but can't seem to make out any sort of danger - let alone any living being - down there.

What will you do next?

(I have to leave you for the night yet again folks. continuing tomorrow - try keeping the thread alive in the mean time)

>>74637
take a big dump in your hands and throw it as far as you can

>>74637
Well I assume something up here was supposed to be a defensive archer. I say crush it's skull and steal its shit.

Descend in the tower

Come on folks, we need some votes , or at least dubs to continue the story.

>>82561
>>74665
i got dubs you faglord

>>83054
Are you some kind of newfag?
Only last digits count which is 6 and 5. That is not dubs.

>>83118
that's completely retarded. so if i get 88810 it's not trips? fucking gay.

>>83169
Welcome to 4chan.

>>83248
fucking.
gay.
going for dubs.
Climb the tower take some arrows and whatever's in there surprise

>>83266
congratulations.

File: WITNESSED.png (7KB, 498x120px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 498x120px

>>83275
yes

You decided to pick up the arrows and shove them up your ass.
You look around from the top of the tower, to see where you have to go from here.
You can't exactly tell what is ahead of you, or to the side of you, or behind you, in fact you can't see shit because of all those goddamn trees.
You decided to fuck it and climb down the ladder that leads into the tower.
For safety sake you pull out your knife and cutting board.
As grab the ladder and try to slide down like some sort of heroic figure, you instead fall down all the way.
Thanks to my all knowing wisdom however, you are equipped with a plot armor thick enough to prevent you from breaking all of your bones and go out unscathed.
You look around the tower for a bit and only find an old bed , a piece of string and....the hell is that?
You have no idea what you just found and you don't know how to describe it either.
And honestly I have no idea either, I mean, it's round I guess, but you figured that out on your own already, so nothing really changed here.

Well with all of those findings, you decided to ponder for a second on what to do next.

>>83411
Stab it. If you can't stab it, break it, if you can't break it, take it.

You try to find out what exactly this mysterious thing is.
You stab it with your knife, but to no avail.
So you try to smash it with your cutting board, but that doesn't seem to do shit either.
You decided to take it and the string and shove them up your ass.

After that you put down your cutting board and knife and shove them back up your ass.
You open the door to the tower from the inside and take a step back outside.

You don't know why, but the air feels fresher than a minute ago.
It's probably just the air in the tower being shit though.

What's your next move?

>>83636
Shit, i'm hungry. Eat a tree.

Burn the tower and eat the ashes while singing Christmas carols

>>83636
Burn the tower and eat the ashes while singing Christmas carols

Come on, dubs or more than 1 vote for 1 answer.
You don't want this thread to die do you?

>>83636
Jerk off and then cry yourself to sleep

What a shame

>>99922
FUCKING WASTED
I SAY EAT A FUCKING TREE.