Crypt Quest

File: Crypt Quest.png (207KB, 400x266px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 400x266px

You are Dan owner of the Great Crypt of the Southern Swashbucklers. Your job is to maintain the skeletons that inhabit the crypt.

Yes, it started out like any other night: with a cup of joe and a miserable visage on your face lieing down in your shitty bed. The time was midnight sharp when it happened. From the earth they sprung, a band of tightwads here to purify your crypt.

What fucking douchebags, maybe you should wake that one draugr and tell him to deal with this shit… nah.

Bolting up, you angrily shake your fist in the air. “You cocksucking hypocritical shitstains! Why don’t you purify your own dumb paladin asses first?”

“DUES VULT” “DUES VULT”

“DUES GO FUCK YOURSELVES”

Alright you’re the one dishing out the pain today. With the fury of a thousand chickens, you march your way inside the crypt and take from the rack your trusty terra encrusted shovel.

Swinging out of the doorway, you firmly plant your feet into the terrain, both hands on deck.

>Take the initiative and smash in some skulls.
>Let them come to you. They’re bound to trip like faggots along the way.
>Make a prayer, and polish your shovel while mocking the zombiedins.
>Eat a dirt bagel.