Thread replies: 51
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Thread images: 18
Your name is Jeff and you're a 26 year old college student. You are quite a big guy and have a mammoth head. People are scared of you at a first glance, but after they see your charismatic personality you quickly become friends.
It's 27 September, your first day of college, and very hangover. You're already late and decide not to go. You didn't care much for school anyway.
You remember that yesterday you got new flatmates. They are probably at college right now though.
What do you do?
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Search Bing for an epic quest to undertake
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>>634452
Surprisingly, there are no results found. Perhaps Bing is not the best way to seek for an epic quest.
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Search Google for a quest, after contemplating why you have a stupid ass mammoth head
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>>634464
You think about the way you look, especially your head, but you don't find anything weird about it. That's how you looked for as long as you remember.
Disappointed with Bing, you resort to Google. A popup ad comes up and refuses to close.
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>>634474
It's a virus, get rid of the computer and go outside
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>>634477
Annoyed with the ad, you close your computer, deciding not to download porn from weird sites anymore.
You dress up, and get into the kitchen. There is nobody here, and only a tapping sound can be heard from one of the other rooms.
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>>634484
Approach tapping noise
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>>634498
You go to the room where the sound is coming from and open the door without even thinking about knocking.
Despite being noon, the room is complete dark. and you can barely see this guy. He must be one of your new roommates.
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>>634514
talk to him but be very rude
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>>634573
"Hey, who the fuck are you?"
He turns his head, but makes no reply. It's as he's looking through you.
"Are you the new guy that's going to live here?"
He already turned back to what ever task he was doing before, even more focused now.
"Weirdo.."
You feel really hungry.
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>>634660
Ignore the robot and return to the kitchen. Raid that fridge!
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>>634705
You return to the kitchen and open the fridge.
"Oh yeah, I should buy some food once in a while."
You promised not to let your borderline alcoholism ruin this college year as well, but here you are missing your first day.
You grab a bear anyway and slurp it in a few seconds, before leaving the house to go buy some food.
Where do you go?
>Supermarket
>Marketplace
>Fast food joint
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>>634725
Marketplace. Support local business ya hipster!
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>>634731
You go to the marketplace and realize you haven't been here in a long time. It's more than due time for some fresh vegetables and fruits.
After filling two bags of groceries and preparing to pay, you realize you forget your wallet.
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>>634782
sock the grocery man in the face and steal every fruit you can carry
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>>634782
Leave the bags with a staff member and tell them you forgot your wallet and will return in a few minutes to pay
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>>634782
Pull out an unloaded glock and demand all of the money from the register
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>>634805
"Oh, let me get my wallet"
You drop your two bags and punch the vendor in his pineapple head.
Unfortunately his shell is very sturdy and you hurt your hand.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he screams.
Not wanting to deal with this anymore, you start running away.
You hear faint shouts behind you, but you don't stop until you reach the exit.
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>>634862
As soon as you're in the clear, put on a fake mustache and attempt to return home.
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>>634872
You finally get far away that nobody gives cares anymore. You couldn't have ran more anyway.
Just to be safe, you spot a kitsch items shop and buy a fake mustache. You try it out in the mirror and it looks good.
Finally being done with this activity, you head home. On the way, you get a text from one of your friends asking if you want to smoke together at his place.
>Go to your buddy's house
>Go home
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>>634972
Go to buddy's house
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>>634972
>>Go to your buddy's house
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>>634974
You get to your friend Matt's house. He is quite a chill guy and for some reason he always gives you free stuff to smoke. Not that you're complaining.
"Hey man, killer party last night, huh?" he says.
"I'm still hangover man"
"What's with the mustache, by the way?"
You start narrating what happened this morning while laughing your asses off.
"We should totally watch something dude"
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>>635041
Watch some macho soldier VS an entire army movie.
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>>635041
Watch a movie about a kung fu alligator headed man
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>>635526
"Buy" was not the best word to describe it. After the old lady inside the shop saw how good you looked with the mustache, she just gave it to you without paying.
>>635672
"I found this movie in the garbage bin outside" Matt says.
"Heh, why not"
After almost two hours of watching cartoons, you think that maybe you should head home.
>Go home
>Ask Matt if he wants to do something else
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"Let's go to trash 'round the park, dude."
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>>637658
Seconding this
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>>637658
"Let's go to trash 'round the park, dude." you suggest to Matt.
"Yeah, sounds good"
You finish another blunt and leave the house. Conveniently, the park was only a five minute walk. However, as soon as you enter, Matt sees a girl from his campus sitting on a bench and chickens out.
"There's too many people around here man, I don't feel like fucking stuff up today"
"Oh, is it because of Stacy? I remember you had a crush on her"
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I get some Dank ass Nachos
. I love me some nachos
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>>637776
Be a good wingmate and crash somewhere else, Matt the skelly will be grateful with that.
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>>637776
Let's get away from that girl. Meanwhile, look for cool people to hang out with. Someone with a guitar, or freestylers so we can spit some rhymes.
Yo.
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>>637789
>>637794
Matt is a bit embarrassed, and admits he still likes her a bit, but he's too ripped to talk with her now.
"No problem man, we can just go to the other part of the park"
As you walk further through the trail, you see a bunch of people on the grass with a guitar. One of the girl sings quite nice. And they're not bad looking either.
"Hey can we join you? I dig your groove" you say.
You start dropping some hot rhymes and everybody loves it. The chick with the wizard hat smiles at you.
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>>637838
Out of nowhere compliment the wizard hat girl on her beautiful face
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>>637838
"You guys seem pretty cool, except for the beanie-wearing, rank-smelling hipster douche"
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>>637838
put your finger in the wizard hat girls butthole with force
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>>637850
The guys pull out a few beers and you start drinking and having a good time.
While everybody is chatting between them, you approach the wizard hat girl.
"You're so pretty"
She blushes and smiles in a very cute way at you.
"Thanks. My name is Luna by the way"
You continue chatting about random stuff and it's going very well. She seems into you. About two hours pass and the guys are getting ready to leave. Matt left already.
>Invite Luna to your place for a few more drinks
>Thank the guys for the good time and go home alone
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>>637878
>>Invite Luna to your place for a few more drinks
Lets where this goes
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>>637878
>invite Luna to you place for a few more drinks
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>>637878
>Invite Luna.
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>>637878
Invite Luna. Ask her if she knows any cool magic spell.
Do we have mammoth sized condoms?
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>>637879
"Hey, we could have something more to drink at my place. My fridge is practically stuffed with beer"
"Uhm. Ok, why not. I don't usually do this, but you seem like a really nice guy"
Upon your arrival home, you go through the kitchen and meet these two guys. You were already acknowledged with the robot in some sort of odd way, but the other one you never seen before.
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>>641597
Mind your business and head to your room after grabbing drinks
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>>641724
You look at them briefly, but don't say a word. You go straight at the fridge and grab a couple of beers. Luna is two steps behind you.
"Hey fatass" says the demon looking guy. "Who are you?"
"Hey" you answer with a smile on your face. Your personality just doesn't let you be too rude. "Sorry for not introducing myself. My name is Jeff and I've been living here for a while. I guess you're going to stay here as well?"
"Yeah, they assigned me in this shithole. My name is Paul. This grey dude is called Isaac. He doesn't really talk much from what I see."
Isaac looks at you and nods with an absolute blank expression.
This is how you meet your new flatmates. It's hard to stay too optimistic when met with such characters.
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>>641788
Go to your room to drink some beers with Luna. Paul looks like he's a dick or at the very least lacks manners and Isaac sounds like he's not exactly a fun guy, so don't waste any more time with them
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>>641880
"Nice meeting you boys. See you later"
You go into your room with the cute witch girl.
"So do you know any cool magic spells?"
"Yeah, I know how to make your clothes disappear" she says laughing.
It doesn't take long from there for you guys to do the thing.
After about an hour of intense lovemaking, she picks up her robes and goes home. Shortly after, you fall asleep.
______________________________
END OF DAY ONE
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>>641958
You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing. It's your parents.
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>>641981
Sounds good to me, seconding this
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>>634444
Cut off my tusks and sell the ivory for dolla dolla cash money son
Thread posts: 51
Thread images: 18
Thread images: 18