Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.
Your current protagonist is a member of the goblin tribe, which was absorbed into The Kingdom and now live as workers in various workshops and factories.
You are also secretly the heir of a former goblin king - King Gob I, as indicated by your tuff of hair that suspiciously resembles a shittily drawn crown.
Currently you're in the middle of a regular work day, what do you do?
Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>600481
Ask the manlet beside you if the lockpicks are finished. Whispering
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>600481
build a giant self face punching mechanism
>>600484
"what lockipicks?" he whispered back
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>600495
self punching ones
>>600497
Welp
>>600497
"what"
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>600500
do you want to be free again or not, wuss?
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>600500
Just make the lockpick for our cell
>>600502
"I'm not sure how self punching lockipicks fit into that"
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>600506
Don't worry about it
how are we doing on stealing tech?
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>600506
it's to fool guards up so they won't think it's a lockpick
>>600510
"Were we supposed to do that?"
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>600517
Yea. Kinda. Also. I said mystery box, not dice cube
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>600517
oh hey, is that the two I rolled?
nice
yes, but do it discretely
disguise it as putting extra work in so it looks like we're working hard
>>600521
"Greetings, tiny workers. Is everything well?"
"Uh...yes?"
>>600481
oh shit nigger Orcs represent!
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>600524
Yes. Sir. Just doing what we love.
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>600524
fart to distract the guard.
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>600524
Yes sir. Working hard as usual.
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>600524
Your armor looks shiny today, Sir. We're just doing manlet things like working.
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>600524
where my manlet skeletons brothers?
>>600531
The paladins probably purged them
>>600531
more importantly, where are the manlet impo brothers? Other than hooded bones I feel there's a good chance that they were already cleansed and back to being just regular lifeless skeletons.
>>600535
those bastards
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>600538
Get back to work so the guard continues walking and covering his nose to avoid the smell.
>>600536
I'm sure the Kobolds and Imps exist, Paladin is just too lazy to draw them
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>600538
that fart is posionus for humans
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>600538
go back to work as if nothing happened.
>>600539
"Riggght, I'll leave you to your work then"
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>600553
[WORKING INTENSIFIES]
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>600553
Continue disguised lockpicks.
>>600553
work on lock pics
I like how calm and relaxed this is compared to wanpan's thread
>>600561
Because there's barely anobody in it, ayyyy
>>600561
I was thinking the same thing.
>>600555
Secretly working on lockipicks in secret
>>600561
not enough salt / 10
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>600567
Meanwhile the skelegobbos...
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>600567
Where's the other heir, Prince Kobs the II?
surely he's your best friend?
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>600567
hide them into fake tools which are empty inside
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>600567
Work on stealing their tech whole making the lockpicks
>>600561
the secret is that there are no elves yet to post about Sad One
>>600568
>>600570
Are currently in hiding, being watched over by Skelebro and Skelebro Jr. With the news that paladins are going to hunt down and purge the tribal skeles, they are now on the run/
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>600584
oh shiiiet
that's pure genocide in works
gotta help fellow skellebros
plan escape intensively
>>600587
we're gonna have to get the other races out too
the gobbos are the only ones capable of making tools right now I think
>>600584
Yay skelebro and skelebro jr!
True heroes
>>600587
Now what should the plan be
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>600593
releasing every prisoner from their cells at the same time during either night or some sort of event when nobody cares for savages
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>600593
Hide the lockpicks in the fattest gobbos fat folds.
Thats step 2
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>600593
Build fake skeletons that is powering by steam engine.
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>600593
hide under boxes and sneak.
>>600598
Of course!....But you don't know how to.
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>600601
We'll learn by watching the humans. We just need time to steal their tech.
Also, where's Prince Kobs the II?
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>600601
aren't we making toys right now? can't you make some skellelooking toys?
and you call yourself a manlet?
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>600601
meanwhile, Prince Kobs
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>600601
Work on stealing their tech while making the lockpicks. Use the time to look for any potential weaknesses in the kingdom's tech as well.
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>600601
Try to remember the time he failed to build his first "steam engine". He accidently use oil instead for water, ending up his "stam engine" to blow up.
>>600602
Eating lunch
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>600609
throw rock at him
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>600609
oh good
let's keep working on those lockpicks
we'll recruit prince kobs after work
>>600611
Rock thrown, roll 2d100 for results.
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>600609
>brief flash of memory of an older guy who looks like Kob usurping an older guy who looks like you from what looks like a throne
Rolled 13, 65 = 78 (2d100)
>>600615
HEY, COME JOIN OUR PLOT you say while whispering
Rolled 67, 36 = 103 (2d100)
>>600615
great success
Rolled 83, 88 = 171 (2d100)
>>600615
Catch it son!!!
>>600616
actually, King Gobbo the I died while travelling towards the Maw
King Kobbo the I was elected afterwards
Rolled 92 (1d100)
oh.
>>600615
Rolling
>>600619
A very nice throw. So nice it killed him
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>600622
Ignite a Gobbo v Kobbo Race War
Rolled 49 (1d100)
>>600622
Walk away while whistling
Smile as you've just killed the other heir to the throne
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>600622
Naaahh... it don't killed him at all, it only make him stronger and it slowly awoke his dragon powers.
Rolled 98 (1d100)whoops
>>600622
'tis is but a scratch
>>600631
Nice. Keep the gobbos pure. I like it
>>600623
"ALRIGHT, STOP WHAT YOUR'E DOING RIGHT NOW!"
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
Yelled the guards
>>600633
I was too late,
sorry
>>60063
>"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"
elves
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>600634
Guards break up the fight
god damn kobbos
throw the the bird at the kobbos with your middle finger and waggle it
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>600634
Prince Kobs the II is still alive and awoke his spirit Stand.
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>600634
Hide in wherever they store the crap we build amidst the confusion along with Gobbo we talked with earlier. We escaping tonite
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>600634
It was an accident sir. The rock was enchanted I swear. There's no fucking way a manlet would have that much strength!
>>600641
woah holy shit, I really though Solid was getting this roll but apparently I drank some lucky juice today.
>>600644
my action was shit anyway
>>600639
"The fuck he is! This Kobold is dead! Now who can tell me what happened? Come on, don't be shy, this is now a murder investigation."
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>600646
No one snitches
cause we all equal down here
gobbos and kobbos start working together again cause we're manlets
Rolled 15 (1d100)
>>600646
throw a rock at a guard
"like this"
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>600646
The reason we toss the rock at our son is because our son will fake his own dead and he is DAMN GOOD faking his own dead because of his manling ancestry.
>>600647
>because the time limit is one minute after the first reply
can we enlarge that to 2 minutes? OP? cause sometimes update shows up way later.
>>600648
"AH! So you admit to being the culprit!"
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>600656
There's no way we could've killed one of our own, Sir. The Elves must have broken in to sabotage our work!
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>600656
I demand a lawyer!
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>600656
I didn't say that, it was that filthy Kobbo behind me. *Roll for Speech*
>>600657
fuck chrome, making my rolls useless
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>600656
Look at my arms. They're as flimsy as cooked spaghetti. How could i have murdered anything with these?
Someone or something must have clearly enchanted the rock. Only a fool would be unable to see this, and the knights of the kingdom are no fools.
>>600658
"HE'S LYING!"
"WE SAW HIM DID IT!"
"EXECUTE THE TRAITOR!"
Yelled the kobolds
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>600663
Gobbos back me up! Are you gonna take that from these Kobbos?
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>600663
The Kobolds would do anything to save their hide, Sir! They're just salty because their heir to the throne is dead! Besides, they're born from dragons, they're butthurt naturally!
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>600663
Look at my arms. They're as flimsy as cooked spaghetti. How could i have murdered anything with these?
Someone or something must have clearly enchanted the rock. Only a fool would be unable to see this, and neither the manlets or the kingdom's knights are fools.
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>600663
Do the manly tears.
>>600664
"THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"WE SAW NO SUCH THING!"
"OBVIOUSLY THAT KOBOLD WAS WEAKSHIT TO DIE FROM A STUPID ROCK"
Racial tensions rising
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>600671
The guards separate our workspaces for the time being so the racial tensions calm down.
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>600671
I blame dragons
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>600671
The imps pop up and stopped the racial tension by talking about peace and love <spoiler>and also raping human women</spoiler>
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>600671
throw another rock amidst the confusion. Towards the very important factory thing that's strangely left in a vulnerable spot
>>600672
"Come on, move it"
The manlets now work in separate areas
>>600676
hide elsewhere during confusion
and hide your crown
for disguise purposes
>>600681
That was like 4 monutes late
>>600679
Right, working out. Time to lift this piece of metal, shouldn't be too hard
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>600684
do it 100 times
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>600684
[LIFTING INTENSIFIES]
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>600684
You just fucking killed someone with a fucking pebble. Lift it to realize that factory work has largely improved your physical capabilities.
>>600691
Warming up
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>600692
get tired
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>600697
SHIT
>>600693
Yeah! You gotta be super strong now! Time to lift this sucka
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>600700
WE LIFT IT WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>600700
it actually a trap door to the basement
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>600700
Get back to making lockpicks faggot
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>600700
We lift so hard the bar blasts off and bursts through the ceiling
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>600700
fucking damnit this time my roll will count. It's actually very light, not light enough to be a piece of cake but light enough to not break your manlet bones
This quest got so shit so fast
>>600702
And you can't even lift it
>>600702
Goddammit rockman. And here I thought you'd be proud after we literally murdered someone via rock throwing.
>>600707
I just threw a rock
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>600708
THIS TIME TRY AGAIN
WE'LL ROLL DICE FOR IT SO WE CAN BOOST OUR STRENGTH
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>600711
fuck
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>600708
it's actually because you're supposed to push it, push it instead.
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>600708
look for a keyhole
>>600709
that's part of everyday life, what so special about it?
>>600713
Charging up manlet power
Roll 2d100, second number is the result
1-99: no
100: yes
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>600719
WHERE'S MY MANLETS AT?
LET'S FUCKING DO THIS
Rolled 79, 64 = 143 (2d100)
>>600719
HULK OUT!!!!!!!
Rolled 33, 42 = 75 (2d100)
>>600719
Rolling.
Rolled 62, 86 = 148 (2d100)
>>600719
oh shit, I forgot the 2d100
woops
AGAIN
Rolled 58, 22 = 80 (2d100)
>>600717
Not for us manlets it aint. Everyday life with us means research, actual acid and explosions.
>>600719
Ah yes lovely...
>>600720
This clearly aint happening. We should examine the rock if possible later to see if it was enchanted and if not we should just go back to breaking out.
Rolled 37, 71 = 108 (2d100)
>>600719
find a keyhole instead damn it
>>600721
Shit, you hurt your back
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>600727
Blame the Kobbos.
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>600727
Take a breather for now
let's use the lockpick we made earlier on the keyhole if there is one
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>600727
you can hear barbarian "wuss" from afar
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>600727
This clearly aint happening. We should examine the rock if possible later to see if it was enchanted.
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>600727
Naahhh.... just our imagination... try multitasking by lockpicking and lifting at same time.
OP might be ded
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>600736
Relax for a bit, try to open the trap door by using the lockpick through the keyhole to unlock it.
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>600736
look for trap door keyhole instead
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>600736
Back to lockpicks . What were we thinking?
>>600746
"What are you you doing?" asked one of the other goblins as you crawl around the floor
hey, let's stick with tech actions instead of physical actions
if you get what I'm saying
let's use our brains instead of brawn
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>600736
Notice a hole in the ground, it's a keyhole to the trapdoor
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>600752
Doesn't look like there's any keyholes
Let's keep producing lockpicks
Whisper this to that Gobbo and share the design so we can mass produce it.
This will be our first tech that we come up with in here.
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>600752
keyhole for the trap door to hidden basement which contains giant robot factory which we'll use to break free
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>600752
Say you have an idea of looking for hidden trapdoors
>>600759
"And why are you looking for hidden trap doors?"
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>600762
to find our giant robot
>>600763
"Escape what?"
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>600762
"Because... Why not?!"
>>600765
You WANT to be here?
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>600765
The Kingdom, little Gobbo.
It's not right that we have to work like slaves under the tall ones, they're assholes, remember? Now help me make more lockpicks.
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>600765
Look gob, do you really want these humans as your overlords? Look at the things they make us... make! Not up to Goblin standards!
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>600765
slave to the dragons one day - slave forever
>>600769
"Well, we are under official employ. Got a daily salary, individual housing and free healthcare."
>>600765
He's actually an Imp Spy sent by the Kobbos, THROW A ROCK AT HIM
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>600772
Wait. You are getting paid?
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>600772
that manlet hears "WUSS" from afar
>>600774
"Well yeah, we're citizens, not slaves like the other tribes cuz we had that Kingdom Seal"
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>600777
OH SHIT we exclaim quietly
No need to escape right now then. Let's plot and create our own tech and gain independence when the time is right. Back to work, gobbos.
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>600777
GASP
>>600779
Welp. I fucked us. We ate the seal. I thought they were gonna frame us for murder.
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>600777
>Orc Player here
Wait what. Shit. You mean we could be citizens? Then why is everyone bald?
>>600780
we had the seal?
fuck kingdom anyway
what you wanna do, be wageslave?
>>600783
we're not gonna be wageslaves
we're gonna create tech to escape somehow
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>600783
>He wants to be a NEET
Fuck this shit, we be on a quest to restore Gob back to kinghood instead.
>>600783
We would have had an easier time LEAVING than the arena. And the skellies might not be hunted .
And yes. The caravan with swords and shit had a seal. I ate it cuz i thought it would pin us to the pillaging and didnt wanna get rekt by the king.
>>600778
Exclaiming oh shit quietly
>>600782
THis actually had nothing to do with the Kingdom. Manlet hair and snazzy borders were taken away in Civ Thing due to this fag >>600784 samefagging. It was divine punishment
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>600785
I'm not orc, fuck you, my roll is better
I wanna raid shit and play heavy metal while piloting giant robots
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>600787
Create a labor union
Demand to speak with the king
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>600786
They're still being hunted for account of being pure evil. What the heck did you mean you ate it? You guys never had the seal. Us orcs found it and gave it to the manlets as a token of appreciation.
>>600787
Feel goblin guilt for what's happening to the orcs.
>>600788
hey fuck you rock chucker
>>600787
SIEG ZEON INDEPENDENCE FOR MANLETS
>>600791
The Barbarians came across a ruined caravan. When we found weapons laying around, OP stated we found a paper with a seal on it. I immediately replied with "a barbarian eats it" and proceeded to be taunted by dragons for fucking ourselves over.
>>600795
ah oh yeah I think I remember that now.
>>600791
Feeling guilty
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>600798
resolve to help out fellow greenskins however we can.
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>600798
Are we off work hours? We should visit the Arena and give the orcs a visit.
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>600798
check with the other gobbos if they are satisfied with their lives
>>600801
but not the Elves since they don't owe manlets jackshit.
>>600804
obviously. including dragons
>>600801
Resolving to save fellow greenskins and skellies
>>600806
go back home and check our digs.
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>600806
Go visit the city once the workday is over
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>600806
You gotta to what you gotta do
form a work union called Zieg Seon
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>600808
Rolling for this
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>600806
Ask a knowledgeable guard about what the manlets are permitted to do.
Also apologize sincerely about the bullshit that happened with the kobold heir. Accepting to give them your dessert for an entire month as a sign of apology.
>>600814
Gotta be faster, archivist
this ain't civ thing 1, it's an adventure
>>600816
IRL shit happened. Was only able to drop in right now.
>>600810
Speaking of workday being over, a guard rings the bell, signalling the work day being over, yeah.
"Alright, it's closing time! As usual head towards the exit and recieve your daily pay in an orderly fashion! No pushing"
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>600819
don't forget to get some lockpicks out with you
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>600821
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>600819
Proceed, and apologize to the kobbos
>>600825
"Ayyy, sorry for killing your heir to the thrne. No hard feelings eh?"
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>600829
We hug it out, cause we all equal down here. We humbly apologize and bow down to them and offer them some of our spare cash.
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>600829
This causes the Kobbos to riot.
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>600829
Look a little more convincing, and propose some cash, since their ancestors are dragons
>>600831
Ah yes, sharing your cash could work, speaking of which
"Gob the II, here's your daily salary, 150 gold coins, as usual. Do try to save it"
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>600834
Wonder what you can do with 150 gold coins
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>600834
go straight to the arena
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>600834
give kobold one coin
>>600835
Saying sorry and offering 15 gold coins to the Kobolds. Wonder if this'll work.
Roll 2d100, second number is the results
1-19: extremely terrible
20-39: bad
40-79: okay
80-100: good
Rolled 75, 62 = 137 (2d100)
>>600841
PLEASE ACCEPT OUR OFFER FELLOW MANLETS
Rolled 23, 24 = 47 (2d100)
>>600841threw coins as a rock
Rolled 13, 60 = 73 (2d100)
>>600841
>>600842
YOur grovelling and snivelling has induced some pity in the kobolds and they accept your apology, for now
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>600847
ALRIGHT
LET'S HEAD TO THE ARENA SO WE CAN FREE OURSELVES OF GUILT
WE'LL SCOPE THE PLACE OUT AND TALK WITH THE ORCS
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>600847
Nice
What can you buy with 135 gold coins ?
How much is a loaf of bread
>>600851
eh, we'll sneak in.
>>600849
And so you went to the arena with some other gobs. There's a guy advertising betting on fights
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>600855
ayo
"Whose fighting now and what are the odds?" we ask to the dude behind the counter advertising bets
>>600855
bet everything on barbarian
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>600855
Check who is fighting
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>600855
Look and see if Wan Pan has any matches.
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>600855
We should invest that shit in a small scale lab so we can invent ways to make more money and start buying land outside the kingdom walls.
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>600863
Let's bet 15 coins on WanPan so we can get our investment from saying sorry to the Kobbos back.
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>600863
stampede ground, bet everything on barbs
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>600863
Bet half of your money on Clubber, and hope wanpan punches himself out like he always does
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>600863
Bet half of it on Orcs! (Obviously includes Wan Pan, and yes even Gorc somehow) GREEN SKINS STICK TOGETHER.
So
>50 G on Wanpan in Wanpan vs Clubber
>10 G each on Wanpan and Gorc
>40 G on Orcs in Barbs vs Orcs
>>600868
That ended surprisingly well
>inb4 this is actually from the same day we played as Wan Pan
it even makes sense, Wan Pan's first fight is against a Barb with a club and his 2nd fight is with an Orc.
>>600868
Hmmm yes, maybe you shouldn't test your luck in the bets. Perhaps starting a small lab would be better
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>600873
"BET EVERYTHING YOU WUSS"
you hear from arena
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>600873
Let's go with the safe investment and start a small lab and expand from there. Betting is just gambling and we're smarter than that.
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>600873
First things first, before starting a lab, check where you and your fellow manlets live
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>600873
A safe investment would be best. Through it we can start working on freedom for all races, and end up with some sweet ass tech.
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>600873
At least stay and watch Wan Pan's fight
>>600874
Who keeps yelling that, seriously
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>600879
Buy a jerky from a vendor and savor it knowing those filthy barbarians can't have a taste of this meaty goodness.
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>600879
"MANLETS GOT NO BALLS"
you decide to follow the voice, it brings you to the window of barbarian jail
>>600880
Excellent.
>>600886
you don't shit where you eat. When the crackdown comes, you want it far away from your homebase.
>>600886
Protecting our tech secrets is our highest priority.
We won't be doing anything illegal, the guards will sniff it from a mile away, but selling new tech as a service would allow us to accumulate a small fortune without us having to give our secrets away.
>>600880
And to do that, you'll ahve to visit the castle.
A guard asks what's your busines there
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>600889
We've come to buy some land with our coin. Straight and to the point.
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>600889
We want to buy land. In your most smooth voice.
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>600889
wanna talk with king.
while you are at it you still hear "WUSS" from afar
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>600890
This
>>600891
"Proceed down the hall, then turn left"
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>600895
We do that, while looking around to see what's changed since the last time we've been here
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>600895
turn right instead after going down
>>600896
Statues litter the hall. All of them have a tiny plaque underneath that reads "Made from melted down tribal treasures"
>>600906
That was an interesting mis-click
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>600906
the statues are fedora neckbeards?
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>600906
More draggos commit suicide. And one elf.
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>600907
consider neckbeard statue canon from now
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>600907
Closely examine the armor design so we can use it later.
>>600907
So the statues are solid gold ?
How much is gold worse in this kingdom
This may be the reason dragons commit suicide
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>600913
*worth
and roll
>>600908
"oh yes, it's meant to capture the spirit of the common man....who lives in his parents' basement"
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>600907
Ignore the statues, there is land to be bought
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>600907
Elves represent!
Study dem statues. They look like good decorations
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>600915
Compliment their craftsmanship and continue moving
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>600915
are there a lot of those?
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>600915
Wow. You are really cultured, Mr. Castle Guard. Tell me more!
>>600921
"Only a handful. Like this one depecting a barbarian neckbeard. We're gonna ship it to their cells in the arena later. It's even carved out from a rock"
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>600925
I dont get it. That one looks like an elf, but it has no beard. It just has a bad smell and long hair.
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>600925
But that's statue is a myth, I've know barbarians, they are all physically muscular thanks to awesome rock throwing culture.
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>600925
>"Made from melted down tribal treasures"
So barbarians were hoarding rocks ?
Anyway, thanks the guard and continueTip him a few coins
>>600929
But the statue has a beard. And dosen't have any hair. And stone dosen't smell.
Did the barbarians somehow steal our weed?
>>600934
Im speaking as prince gobbo
>>600935
Damn gobbos stealing our drugs for experiments.
>>600929
"Ah, the elf statue. Well you see, we have discovered that elves are incapable of growing facial hair, so we had to make do. The smell comes from the wood we used to make this, we're gonna put this thing in the fields the elves work on, ya know, for motivation. But mostly as a scarecrow."
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>600938
I start to think that your sculptor has some fetish for THICK guys
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>600938
Do you have any Orc Sculpts?
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>600938
Where's the gobbo's statue
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>600938
What about the Orc statue?
>>600942
"Oh yeah. It's literally jsut a ball of cements with some things stuck onto it to kinda sorta resemble an orc face. It's to properly emulate the Orc style"
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>600947
Are those... dragon teeth?
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>600947
Alright, enough messing about. Thank the Guard for showing us the sculptures while we go down the hall and turn left.
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>600947
>See Orc
>Remember Kingdom Seal Deal
>It Ain't Me Plays
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>600955
Forgot the friggin roll.
>>600953
You collapse onto the floor due the weight of your guilt as music plays inside your head
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>600958
Back to business. Nothing we can do this second. Thank the guard as well.
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>600958
find trap door
>>600962
If only you roll this good when we hunted back in the day
>>600962
No trap door found
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>600968
Stand up, pack up our shit and proceed to whatever we was gonna do before we got distracted
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>600968
your skills suck, wuss
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>600968
Get up, thank the guard and go buy that land so we can start working on some Tech.
>>600970
"Ah yes, greetings little goblin. What brings you here?" asked the Land Wizard, overseer of Real Estate
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>600979
I've come to buy land so we may start our own business and contribute to the realm, Mr. Land Wizard.
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>600982
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>600979
how much for square meter
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>600979
Greetings sir, I wish to buy a small plot of land so that I may start a small business.
>>600982
"Hmmm, yes, yes. A noble mission. Now let's see here...according to the records, the cheapest plots of land available is 1000 gold. Do you want to start there?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>600989
Oh, we'll have to save up for that, Mr. Wizard. Is there a way we could rent it instead?
Fucking hell, I'm getting too tired for this
Archivist, I give you the title of Duke Archivist until I wake. Peace.
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>600989
are there any special offers for startups?
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>600989
We check our savings to see if we have enough. If we do we buy one of the cheapest ones. Otherwise we check if we can pay in installments and how much each installment costs.
>>600992
AW SHIT NIGGAAAAAAAAAAA
>>600992
I am become manlet, buyer of worlds
>>600992
YOUR ENTIRE SAVINGS IS....135 gold coins.
You haven't been frugal the past months
>>600993
Does this mean I get to keep the fancy title?
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>601000
Check if we can pay in installments and how much each installment costs.
>>601000
Contact the other manlets with your magic phone to ask them if they can contribute
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>601000
ask how much in installments, punch self in face
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>601000
Ask if installments are possible.
Also dragon suicide cutscene.
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>601000
Wait wait wait. Are there any adventurer-like jobs around? A kingdom like this should have one.
>>601010
Manlets are weak. Wouldnt suggest that
>>601006
"A hundred coins per installment"
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>601013
Great offer! Lets do it.
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601013
So be it. We'll purchase one of the cheaper plots and we'll pay the installments with our daily wage.
Does the plot include any sort of small building or something?
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>601013
fuck loans
let's go win all money via arena and buy land on spot
>>601022
I... holy shit...
>>601015
"Great! Just sign here"
>>601025
THIS THING IS RIGGED
let's go betting while you are at it
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>601027
Check the back of the contract
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>601027
eat paper
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>601027
Read back of it
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>601027
Sign it. Ask if it includes a small workshop/building where we can work.
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>601027
Realize you do not have a pen
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>601042
Agree and sign
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>601042
Excellent. Sign it. And ask if there's a small workshop included.
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>601042
Wait wait wait, we don't even know what we're buying
Ask the wizzard how the plot is
>>601046
Holy shit man, you're on the hunt.
>>601046
Dice god? Are you there?
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>601042
realize that you can't read
>>601046
"Eh, depends on which polt of land you choose after you done your payments. They're like 5 to choose from"
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>601054
Ok. We spend the next 10 days working and using the money from our daily wage to pay the installments.
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>601054
mystery box time?
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>601054
Fast forward to the time you have enough money
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>601054
Sign, pay and check the plots
Rolled 98 (1d100)
>>601056
meanwhile our fellow miniskellebros will all be dead.
JUST GAMBLE THE NEEDED SUM
>>601059
"Very well, the first one is just an empty plot of land out in the outskirts of the city, next is an empty lot in the civilian quarters, then another empty lot in the factory district, next is a lot with an abandoned house left there so long it comes with the land too, finally theres a patch of land that used to belong to a merchant, even built a workshop there....but since his business went down, he left the city and abandoned it....Not a good choice though, as that place is in the ghetto"
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>601078
>merchant, even built a workshop there....but since his business went down, he left the city and abandoned it....Not a good choice though, as that place is in the ghetto"
this one
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601078
Take the last one, and see if you can move in with all the others manlets
Strenght lies in numbers
Rolled 25 (1d100)
>>601078
Empty one in the outskirts. We'll build something there later. Isolation is best if we don't want people to steal our tech.
>>601084
"Well it's your choice. Anyway, do you want to start paying today or tomorrow?"
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>601096
We start today.
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>601096
tomorrow
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>601099
Tomorrow, today we check if we can buy a dragon to guard our workshop
>>601108
they are allwill bedeadsoon
>>601108
Not a bad idea. They're hoardless so they'll probably work for cheap.
>>601099
YOu now have 35 coins
>>601124
Welp. Deposit the remainder at the nearest bank. Pay the installments over the next few days.
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>601131
Forgot to fucking roll...
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>601124
BET IT ALL ON BARBARIANS ON ARENA
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>601124
Put the rest at the bank
>>601133
Just in time for the Stampede round, where a group of barbs and orcs fight against a stampede of Kingdom-grown beasts
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>601139
CHEER FOR BARBARIANS. YEEEAAH
>>601139
Check the odds
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>601139
Cheer the barbs
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>601145
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>601145
>>601146
Sadly both teams were brutally murdered by the beasts
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>601153
THIS IS RIGGED
BARBS USED TO KILL BEASTS FOR BREAKFAST
Rolled 48 (1d100)
>>601153
>Sell crown and clothes
>Use money to continue gambling
>>601157
Those were wild, untrained beasts.
>>601165
and what we were killing in civ thread? cows?
I'm telling ya somthing dirty going on down there in arena
those were not real barbs
>>601161
It's not a crown, it's a tuff of hair shaped like a crown
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>601169
Don't sell your clothes. Go home. Work for the next few days so we can start doing science in our ghetto workshop.
>>601168
>barb hasn't realize how low barbarian powerlevel actually is compared to Kingdom stuff
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>601169
since we lost everything, lets look at the land we're buying
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>601169
>Shave head
>Attempt to sell hair to bald person
>>601169
sell it anyway to shady people in coats which totally not practicing forbidden magic
>>601169
Find out who is in charge of the dragon labourers, and see how much it is to rent one
>>601181
"Kingdom-grown beasts"
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>601169
check out your land
>>601174
And so you went back to your cozy home in the civilian quarters
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>601202
check kitchen for food
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>601202
sneak at night to the arena
something fishy is going on there
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601202
Start working on design plans for traps with which to rig your workshop. You don't want your shit to get stolen.
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>601202
Go to sleep, it's late alreadySteal some food from the kobbos
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601202
>House: Become fractionally less cozy
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>601202
investigate home. anyone else around?
>>601209
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
>>601209
And so you started drawing up plans for traps to put in your soon-to-be workshop. Illuminated by your Limited Edition Snek Lamp.
>be guy who made xeno-civ
>see this guy be a dick to everyone
>find it sad and amusing
>sure sucks to be slaves now, huh?
Rolled 50 (1d100)
since, a bunch of others are keeping their names from Civ thing, I might as well keep mine as well even though I wasn't going to
>>601224
design traps to be snek themed
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>601224
you are inspired to develop many traps involving actual snakes
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>601224
> Transition to the next morning
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>601224
Inspiration from the past match hits you. You design a trap in which you open a door and a bunch of beasts trample you.
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>601230
Go to sleep once you're done.
>>601230
Yes, perfect, you drew out plans for traps involving snakes using your Collector's Edition Phoenix Quill, made from the actual ass feathers of an actual phoenix
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>601241
Now go to sleep and dream of traps
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>601241
I'm starting to see why we're poor as fuck. Stop buying limited shit you gobbo
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601241
>Snake based traps: Constrictors or the venomous types?
>>601244
And so you went to sleep. In your Limited Edition Ent Bed. Made from ents captured from the elven forest.
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>601259
Hey, an actual wise purchase. Dream a prophetic dream
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>601259
god damn the manlets really betrayed the other races didn't they, all other ones got shit on after they lost while manlets are living the high life
also punch ent in face
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>601285
>Scene: Transition
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>601259
wake up in a middle of the night to scout arena
>>601271
no they didn't. Plus they're already getting Nam Flashbacks everytime they see Orcs because of the overwhelming guilt (Well, Gob II is).
>>601265
Dreamin dreamin
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>601282
WAKEUP
YOUR PEOPLE NEED YOU
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>601282
>No Dragons
Jews BTFO.
Well at least this establishes all races will eventually get back together sans Dragons.
Wake up in cold sweat
>>601282
Watch the fight, the king isn't minding us for the moment
>>601284
"Aight bye. P.S: barbarians sux"
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>601294
you are just biased fuckKing is barbarian in disguise
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>601294
>That dream person's mustache is glorious
>Take it, claim it as your own
>>601299
Oh no, the stache is gone
>>601294
Wake up in cold sweat.
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>601302
>W-Woah, is that what our hands look like?
>Hands are crazy man
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601302
THIS WAS ALL A DREAM
YOU ACTUALLY WORK IN CAVES
WITHOUT ANY HOME WITHOUT ANY LE STUFF
>>601309
WAKE UP NEO
>>601309
>LE STUFF
barbarians confirmed for reddit
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>601311
that's Limited Edition acronym you savage
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601311
>This is getting out of hand
>Goblin guy: Wake up
>>601312
>i-it was an acronym
yeah sure m8
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>601317
your dreams suck balls, manlet
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601317
barbs plan to escape slavery in their upboats
>>601319
Not as much as barbarians, lmao
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>601317
> Meta: Meta: Meta: Commence
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>601323
I bet you can't even throw imaginary rocks, not talking about real ones
>>601323
Barbs confirmed for being gayer than us
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>601323
news comes that the skeleton dance troupe was murdered by paladins
>>601327
>m-muh rocks
lmao classic barbarian deflection tactic
always falling back to rocks
keep being delusional lol
>>600481
Woo looks like I'm early
Time to readOP post twitter updates ya dingus
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>601337
>can't even throw imaginary rock
WUSS
>>601340
But I did post the update ya mong
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>601337
Wake up in cold sweat. Then get confused about the last part of your dream
>>601345
why you are killing fellow skellies
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>601343
I can throw rocks better than you, nigga
>>601337
So...
Is this thing we're doing here an intermission or some kind of awful fever dream?
>>601345
"HEAR YE! HEAR YE! ANOTHER BAND OF BARBARIAN SKELETONS WERE FOUND AND PURGED LAST NIGHT BY THE PALADINS. THEY SEEMED TO BE SOME SORT OF NECRO DANCE TROUPE. REJOICE CITIZENS! THE STREETS ARE GETTING SAFER!" cried the town crier
>>601352
because the chances of any race other than maybe manlet ending without dieing is next to none, so I might as well end their suffering as quickly as possible
I already made the dragons massively suicidal last thread
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>601368
remember the times when necrodance touched your soul
plan on revenge
>>601371
screw you
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>601368
You go for a walk outside to clear your head of thoughts of Barbarian and Faggots
>>601368
> Oh my go0dness, that man's teeth are impeccable
>Make him reveal the secret of perfect dentistry to us
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>601381
>>601379
Ah yes, a morning walk before work
>>601384
>Work: Premature commencement
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>601384
"WAKE UP, LEO"
you start hearing voices again
"THIS WORLD IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK"
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>601384
Punch self out of overwhelming guilt
Make this a routine
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>601388
Fuck me and the horse I rode in on...
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>601384
drop by the local mansion and smugly smirk at the house slave elves through the window
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>601384
Go investigate the strange disappearances in chinatown
What are the Elves doing now? Do they have weed to smoke? Are they farmers?
>>601377
I am just being logical, no use trying when most the races are just going to end poorly anyway, so I might as well take away their good shit so that people don't get their hopes up and think they stand a chance when we inevitably fail
>>601391
Squish
>>601400
Some work in the fields, some work in houses.
>>601400
They probably grow it secretly somewhere, like hidden inside of trees and stuff.
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>601408
This place is so happy - it's creepy
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>601408
go to scene of skelly carnage and search for survivors
Rolled 5 (1d100)
>>601408
WAKE UP GOBBO
THIS WORLD IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
ITS A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
THERES NOT ENOUGH SALT FROM MANLET PLAYERS
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>601408
Masterbate furiously and jizz over the place for no raisin
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>601425
you meet a mysterious man in sunglasses
>>601425
Let's stop by some rich houses and wave smugly at the elves inside.
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>601425
Find the glitch in the matrix
>inb4 its under the trap door
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>601430
>>601429
Crashing this happy tale with no survivors huh
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>601425
Go to work
>>601429
"Hello I am mysterious man in sunglasses. But also incredibly trustworthy, do not be alarmed"
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>601444
He's tall, don't trust him. Punch his nards
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>601444
Take off your hood first
Rolled 8 (1d100)
>>601444
See what kind of coloured pills he's offering
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>601444
he offers you to learn the truth behind Kingdom and king literal invincibility.
cause you are chosen one.
>>601444
Buy recreational drugs from the mysterious man
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601444
he reveals the horrifying truth
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>>601453
I want some of that 420
>>601454
SHIT. It'sanother u r faget note
>>601454
"You see...racecar is racecar backwards"
>>601454
rip kobs took the red pill
>>601436you don't want manlets to be happy either, do you?
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>601465
What drugs you got senpai?
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>601465
report him to the nearest guard
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>601465
pull his cloak.He's actually 3 gobbos standing on each other
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>601465
that's a magic password which breaks illusions around you
YOU ACTUALLY NEVER HAD ANY LIMITED EDITION GOODS, THEY WERE REGULAR
>>601473Key words: NO SURVIVORS
>>601476
"Take the green pill, and I show you where the rabbit hole goes, take the purple pill and you return to your normal everyday life, none the wiser"
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>601465
Rip off his mask
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601492
GREEN LOCK IN CONFIRM
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>601492
Green pill and get our hair back
>>601496
SHIT WE DEEP IN THE RABBIT HOLE NOW
>>601496
"Very well....the rabbit hole goes there"
Ba dum tish
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>601509
It was all a very realistic dream
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>601509
That actually was DickAss thief and he robbed all our stuff
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>601509
okay, well, can we have the purple pill, too, then?
>>601513
"YOu know what else is realistic?...The graphics in this new adventuring book, available now for pre-order at the cheap cheap price of 60 gold coins"
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>601526
go down rabbit hole instead
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>601526
GUARDS! THIS MAN IS INSANE AND A CONSMAN
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>601526
Check the back of the book for any secret messages to know the dark truth like actually going down the rabbit hole
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>601526
Report shifty dude of draconic descent
>>601531
Todd of the Howard Clan strikes again
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>601538
Go down the rabbit hole and see if we learn any dark hidden secrets about our reality
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>601538
meanwhile green drug starts working
you see numbers everywhere
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>601538
Shit you're late for work
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>601538
Damn Thaddeus of the Howard clan, always trying to sell those adventure books. We all know they will poison your mind and make you pray Dice god.
>>601541
The numbers! What do they mean?!
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>601548
Realise were late to work and may get fired
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>601548
QUICK
GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601548
turns out the 'drug' was literally poison
usually not enough to kill a human but you are small
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>601548
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>601548
No time to wonder what the numbers mean, we got to get to work!
>>601552
Oh no! If someone don't help you soon you'll die to death!
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601564
Turns out everyone is racist against gobbos
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>601564
like usual tall people are assholes
Rolled 57 (1d100)
>>601564
nah, you are still alive
just
DIFFERENT type of alive
Mini skellebro is what you are
Rolled 97 (1d100)
>>601564
Turns out hair is the only antidote for the poison. You eat your crown-shaped hair.
>>601564
>xenomorph comes from the sky to save gobo
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>601573
wow fucked up that dice roll
>>601570
It is a comforting though to think that you'll just revive into a skeleton when you die.
But it is merely a thought, Kingdom Court Wizards already took away all tribal magic.
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>601580
FIGHT WITH POISON WITH YOUR GUTS
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>601580
people gather to laugh at you
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601580
The poison was never real, we're just having a really bad trip.
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>601580
The poison dosen't affect you! YOU'RE SMALL, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE SMALL GUTS! THERE IS NOTHING TO POISON!
>>601582
>POISON
>GUTS
Man this pill is making you see weird shit
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>601603
a kobold comes to kick you while you die
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>601603
AWAKEN YOUR FORGOTTEN WEABOO POWERS
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
WAKE UP
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>601603
Our poisoned body is kidnapped by street hobos
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>601603
Rediscover weebhood
>>601603
WAKEMEUPINSIDE.png
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>601624
Recover just perfectly due to the kickAlthough the hallucinations stay
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>601624
Crawl down the rabbit hole
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601624
curse his entire species with asses more abused than the dragons with your last breath
>>601632
Amazingly, the kick caused you to puke out the poison before it could kill you.
But not before it caused you to hallucinate for the rest of the day.
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>601637
the poison still has left you permamantally weaker than a manlet baby
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>601637
call in sick for a day
but this traumatic experience make you remember who you truly are
you are no engineer, or mechanic
you are proud weaboo, huge fan of WanPan
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>601637
Our jobs fires us since we didn't show up and now were broke
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>601637
Future-you and Chef Arthas driving an open roof car, come through a portal, leaving burning scorch marks behind them.
"Glad we could make it. There's no time to explain, get the fuck in".
>rng wants to kill manlets
what doesn't kill you - make you stronger >>601640
>>601647
Crawl down the rabbit hole like a baby
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>601647
nah, you actually grow stronger
and tallergo down that rabbit hole already
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>601647
cry in a corner
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>601647
It also made us retarded
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>601661
"MAN THE FUCK UP YA WUSS" you hear all way from arena
Rolled 85 (1d100)
>>601661
Retreat to the nearest gutter to wallow in our sadness
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>601661
Curse the world in a far eastern oriental language of weird squiggly moon runes like in those animu you used to watch
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>601661
random passing paladin thinks you are possessed by a demon, and decides to purge it
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>601661
Get a grip
that rabbit hole is probably fake and the REAL one is under the trap door
>>601665
wallowin
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>601678
REMEMBER HOTBLOODED SHONEN ANIME AND MAN THE FUCK UP
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>601678
You meet a certain depresed elf that walks funny because his anus got permanently disfigured with the ancient dildo
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>601678
Get a grip already
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>601678
Realise were turning into a pile of goo
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601678
start slicing your wrists open due to how sad you are getting
>>601684
"Oh hey, you like to wallow in the gutter too huh"
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>601693
remember happy times together
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>601693
He spouts some random shit about telling you to wake up and hands you a red pill but your too high to listen and resist it being forcefully shoved down your throat
All this happens while hearing the barbarian's chanting from the arena calling you a wuss
>>601699
perfect
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>601693
Cry together as one and contemplate life with him
>>601697
Ah yes, back when you still lived in caves
What the blueberry fuckmuffins is this
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>601706
Punch yourself in the face in order to regain your strength and go fucking work
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>601706
Well I mean it's not all bad.
We're being paid now instead of having to pay the dragons.
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>601706
realize that you still live in cave and everything was a lie
EVERYTHING
Why do you think you can hear barbarians always? BECAUSE YOU LOCATED UNDER THEIR CELLS
IN MINES
WORKING DIRTY JOB FOR NO WAGE AND JUST FOOD
PROVIDING SERVICES TO TALL FAGGOTS
>>601712
Systematic sabotaging of manlets by other tribes
>>601720
3deep5me
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>601706
now combine your sorrow and become more powerful than you could ever imagine
>>601722
Why am I not surprised. Why am I even less surprised by the dragons only showing up now to fuck with us.
>>601718
Well that was weird, let's get to work
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>601732
Ask the guards if you can net some extra cash by working overtime.
Rolled 20 (1d100)
>>601732
Drop by the arena
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>601732
yeah. to work
IN THE CAVES
YOU ARE PLUNGER, PUSHING SHIT OF TALL FAGGOTS THRU THE TUBES
THAT'S THE REALITY
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>601732
Clock in
Rolled 37 (1d100)
>>601732
Realise the work day is already over since you fucked around too much
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>601732
oh look, the cutest guard is working today, too
>>601738
"Alright, Gob II....Running a bit late today, aren't we"
Rolled 30 (1d100)
Should we even considerbreaking the manlets out now?I mean they're pretty well set.
They're actual citizens instead of slaves.
They have well paying jobs and can buy land.
And they aren't tortured every other hour
>>601747
I blame Todd of the Howard clan
Rolled 80 (1d100)
>>601747
Be a tree to avoid punishment
Rolled 46 (1d100)
>>601747
you start seeing things which should be there
weaboo things
>>601750I'm convinced it's all is a lie, it's all way too good to be true
>>601750>implying this is not a dream. were jumping down the rabbit hole under that trap door
>>601752
YOu did your best tree impression. The guard just tells you to stop goofing around and get to work
>>601757
What, can't manlets have something nice and not be in some sort of a dream?
>>601762
You can't work for you are a tree. Trees don't work
>>601762
>What, can't manlets have something nice and not be in some sort of a dream?
I know who I'm questin with
>>601764
Who put this here
Rolled 100 (1d100)
>>601768
grow mohawk
>>601768
Invest in this masterpiece
>>601774
Rng dictates that its time to leave the dream
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>>601779
start seeing more weaboo things
and orcs which look very real
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>601779
Wake up from the dream and get back to real life.
The mines with horrible working conditions under the barb cells being fed by how much you work
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>601779
work
>>601786
"That thing you really like will never be localized. And if it is, it'll be a shitty censored dub"
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>601796
Work
We must not be compromised by orc hallucinations
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>601796
work and chat up your workmate
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>601796
MORE ORC WEABOO VISIONS
MOOOOOOOOOORE
REMEMBER
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>601796
Dragonzilla attacks the city
>>601796
Regrow Crown Hair. Eat bagel that one Gobbo always has for you.what happened to the imps? They get axed?
>>601803
"also your waifu a shit"
Rolled 87 (1d100)
>>601796
Gee I hope our work isn't influenced by these weeaboo hallucinations
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>601815
Forgot roll
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>601816
HENSHIN INTO MASKED MANLET
>>601816
Wake the fuck up and work overtime
>>601815
They work desk jobs and in libraries.
Their wings help carrying paperwork to high places easier
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>601816
work then something happens
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>601816
Transform into a mahou shoujo
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>601820
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>601821
Regrow Crown Hair. Eat one of those cooked cheese bagels that one Imp brings for everyone.
anime y prehistoria
shit wrong thread
>>601819
MEANWHILE,
"Sir, I think there's something wrong with him"
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>>601842
Mahou shoujo orc tells you to wake up
Rolled 67 (1d100)
>>601842
Henshin actually works
You was a Space Sheriff Manlet all along
>>601842
Faint from shock of everything. Also realize that you can fly! Just like the dragons daddy told you about!
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>601842
The guards notice you've been poisoned and take you to the infirmary. Thankfully your healthcare services cover this so you still get paid.
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>601842
Work damn it
You can save your transformation for when you're home
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>601842
"he is becoming too awesome"
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>601842
piss test
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>601849
I am shit at remembering to roll
>>601848
He's a space cowboy
>>601853
"STOP INTERFERING WITH HOT BLOOD HEART OF THIS FELLOW YA WUSS"
random anon hears from afar
>>601859
no no, he needs a ride and team for being Space Cowboy
Space Sheriffs work alone
>>601853
"You're in no condition to work. I'm bringing you to a healer"
>>601866
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UGLY SHIT" he hears right after.
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>601873
Run away yelling about space sheriffs and anime
Rolled 47 (1d100)
>>601873
Guard notices that the other workers entertained by your shenanigans. Productivity soars. Get promotion: full time factory entertainer.
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>601873
OTOKO NA N' DAROUUUU?
GUZUGUZU SURU NA YOOOOOO
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>601873
The spirit of the dance troupe overtakes prince gobbo!
>>601873
YAMETEEEEE
Rolled 88 (1d100)
>>601873
faint in guards arms. Dream of cheese and imps.
>>601876
"Hmmm"
You were then promoted to Factory Jester
Rolled 62 (1d100)
>>601892
but actually you are THE Defender of Justice
Fighting crimes and helping your fellow savages and especially orcs
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>601892
KAN-PAI
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>601892
Due to our new position we let out some phat beats that get the other manlets pumped up
You know. I am not even salty. I am just sad by how futile everything in this adventure is.
Sneks, ents, dance troupe, Wanpanch being weak as shit...sigh
OP is having connection errors.
>>601899
"I AM THE DEFENDER OF JUSTICE! FIGHTING CRIMES IS MY MISSION, HELPING MY FELLOW SAVAGES ESPECIALLY ORCS IS MY DUTY! EVIL! BEWARE!" you yelled
The other manlets are amused
Rolled 70 (1d100)
>>601916
God is amused too and actually gives you super powers and ability to transform into Manlet Rider
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>601916
Factory manager notices the genius in your brand of comedy and thinks he can use you to invite the King to the factory for a show and impress him.
>>601927
MEANWHILE, UP ON THE MANAGER OFFICE
"Hey, guard, what's happening down there?"
"That's our new Factory Jester sir. He suddenly kept yelling about being a defender of justice and whatnot while jumping around doing weird poses. The others workers apprently loves it so it increased morale and productivity"
"Hmmmmm....yes, yes, that's perfect!"
"wut"
"We'll invite the King down to our humble factory! When he sees the genius in this type of comedic morale boost, he'll surely give us more funding!"
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>601933
The manager's plan fails. Miserably.
>>601933
MEANWHILE IN THE SECRET BASE OF MANLET RIDER
You actually discover super abilities.
THAT GREEN PILL DID SOMETHING TO YOUR BODY
YOU ARE STRONG AS 100 ORCS, but it only works when you wear mask
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>601940
The manager was joking about that plan and you are taken to the infirmary to get treated. You're still paid and get a bonus for showing up to work even though you were poisoned.
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>601933
King gets invite. What does it say?
>>601940
Come on man, we can poison/kill the King when he shows up for the show. Advancing the plot!
>>601940
"Meh, I've seen better"
Your perfomance was rated 9/10 - It's okay
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>601956
SUDDENLY GREEN PILL FUCKED UP YOUR DNA TO BECOME THE MANLET RIDER
YOU SEE THE GREAT INJUSTICE IN THE KING
AND DO RIDER KIIIICKU AT HIM
>>601958
Seeing your tribe being sabotaged by others does that to you
Rolled 56 (1d100)
>>601956
HoorayManager is disappointed.
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>601956
King hires you as his personal jester. (He secretly loved the show)
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>601956
King kills manager for wasting his time. Prince Gobbo is next in line for manager
>>601969
Nice one.
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>601956
Conclude masterful performance by punching self in face
>>601965
i cri evritiem
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>601981
AND NOW FOR THE CULMINATION
ACTUAL HENSHIN VIA GOD INTERFERENCE
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>601981
King make the gobbo a baron and says he will do him one favor
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>601981
King asks you to put on a city wide show tomorrow for all the royalty. You'll be paid handsomely.
>>601987
well okay
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>602006
Wake up in bed, it was all a dream. You're actually early for work too.
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>602006
King's impressed
Rolled 50 (1d100)
>>602006
BGM STARTS PLAYING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_76uPUAgi4
TIME TO PURGE EVIL FROM THIS LAND
STARTING WITH YOU, KING
RIDAAAAA KIIIICKU
>>602006
King also morphs into powerful being.
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>602006
Announce yourself as Goblinius, defender of the gobbo working class!
>>602013
"This impressive power! No, It can't be! Goblin Rider! I sealed you away!"
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>602006
O shit
Rolled 74 (1d100)
>>602026
King is joking but still impressed and makes you into the new factory manager.
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>602026
offer to fight by his side and kick the almighty gods ass together so he can become the new god
>>602016
The king already is a powerful being
Rolled 55 (1d100)
>>602026
Factory workers are losing their goddamn minds. Guards drop their weapons in awe.
What the actual fuck happene here while I was gone
Also when are we gonna make the King or someone mahou shoujo transform?
Rolled 33 (1d100)
>>602026
YOU CAN'T POSTPONE JUDGEMENT OF YOUR EVIL DOINGS FOR LONG
THE TIME HAS COME FOR JUSTICE TO SHINE AGAIN
RIDERRRRR KIIICKU
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>602026
The king grants freedom to the manletsand Elves
>>602044
Manlets are already free.Which is why I'm seriously debating on if we need to break them out.
Rolled 41 (1d100)
>>601933
testing
assasinate the king when he comes with the lockpick
>>602032
"Good show, good show. I rate it ten outta ten"
Rolled 24 (1d100)
>>602053
He even gives the manager a bonus
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>602053
I KNOW ALL YOUR WRONG DOINGS, KING
YOU ARE ENEMY OF JUSTICE
DON'T TRY TO PRETEND WE NEVER MET BEFORE, I KNOW YOUR TRUE COLORS
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>602053
You bow before the king and become the new manager.
Rolled 54 (1d100)
>>602053
King has his guards fetch and dump money on you and the factory manager in appreciation. Ask you to visit his castle in a week.
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>602053
Suddently a group of monsters that belong to secret evil society who worship demons.
Rolled 86 (1d100)
>>602053
accept and make it into a secret weapong or golem factory
>>602060
"Here, treat your workers. And you, goblin. Come to the castle in a week, the court could use a show"
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>602080
Alright
BUT SUDDENLY BADGUYS IN COSTUMES
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>>602080
YOU CAN'T BRIBE ME, KING. NEITHER YOU CAN FOOL ME. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ANCIENT EVIL.
THIS GOLD HAS BLOOD OF YOUR VICTIMS ON IT, I'LL NEVER ACCEPT IT.
GET READY TO YOUR DEMISE.
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>602080
"Just a prank, bro." Says the king.
Like he's allowing savages to see him. He punches the kobbos into oblivion.
>>602089
Nigga you gonna get him killed after we just gave him a proper character.
You can wait for your fucknig skeletons
Rolled 10 (1d100)
>>602080
Demand our savage brethren be FREED! (especially the orcs those guys are cool)
>>602089
>I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ANCIENT EVIL.King is Greg's father
>>602089
Goddamit Rock Solid.
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>602089
The king slaps Rock Solid's shit threatening to go purge the skeletons himself.
>>602089
"what"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>602089
This makes me feel better. Have a rock.
Rolled 89 (1d100)
>>602104
We back out at the last second cause we're a pussy
god damn it rock solid, contain your murderboner you fuck
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>602104
RIIIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Rolled 69 (1d100)
>>602104
The Goblin Rider kicked the assassin who is behind the king.
Rolled 71 (1d100)
>>602104
Turns out Kamen Gobbo was the true King Slayer.
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>>602104
Hit the evildoer behind him
Rolled 78 (1d100)
>>602104
QUICKLY! PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>602104
King is pleased at getting the chance to playfully spar with you.
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>602104
he swats you like a fly
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>602104
The king flicks him away
>>602118
"Calm down little go--Oh shit I hit him too hard"
The End
Rolled 90 (1d100)
>>602130
Dance Troupe mini adventure
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>602130
kobold and goblin gods ask what the hell were you thinking
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>602130
'tis is but a scratch!
Rolled 59 (1d100)
>>602130
Well who's up for sabotaging barbarians now.
This is gonna become a game of backstabbing.Timewarp to five minutes before this kick happenedAlternatively have someone cast res
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>602130
King resurrects gobs with stolen resurrection tribal magic
Rolled 61 (1d100)
>>602130
You're in the afterlife.
Rolled 36 (1d100)
>>602130
What's to stop the man,eye from just moving out and going back to their old life's? Also press the reset button.
>>602144
manlets*
>>602138
I'm definitely bottling this salt.
>>602137
Oh well, bygones be bygone eh, water under da bridge and all that. Time to decide who's next
>>602132
The dance troupe is no more
Rolled 72 (1d100)
I don't know about you guys, I had fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpNkYp-b54k
>>602153
back to orc wanpan
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>602153
Messiah
>>602155
That was hilarious.
A quality kek.
>>602153
Either Dragon messiah or the sad one. I don't think we've played as either of them yet.
Rolled 4 (1d100)
>>602153
lets go for hooded bones, find out how he is doing after I made the paladins go on a skeleton murdespree last thread
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>>602153
Pick a new Manlet Heir.
If that's not possible, I say we go with the barbarians...
Dont worry Manlets. You still have prince Impo
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>602153
Messiah
>>602167
Having their hero unit die means manlets are no longer playable
>>602165
Archduke commandeth baby
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>602153
Barbs. Time for revenge.
>>602153
Let's see how hooded bones is doing.
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>602153
Dragon messiah
Rolled 1 (1d100)
>>602153
Barb revenge tread
Since dragons and elves have not had a chance to be playable, perhaps we should narrow the choices down to them instead
>>602175
>implying you'd won't try to One Punch king if you'd regained your power
Rolled 29 (1d100)
>>602182
roll for it, OP 1d2
Rolled 34 (1d100)
>>602182
Keeping messiah vote
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>602182
Close your eyes
And wake up
Kingdoms with their magic healers and shit
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>602182
Elves
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>602182
Dragons, I wanna see how many drags are left since most are killing themselves due to no-hoard depression
Rolled 63 (1d100)
>>602182
elves, fuck dragons
>>602182
Roll a 1d2
>>602182
We haven't played as barbs yet tho
Rolled 23 (1d100)
>>602182
Dragons then.
>>602194
Their was a brief period in ep 1 when hooded bones was playable
Rolled 66 (1d100)
>>602182
Still messiah
Rolled 1 (1d2)
Wheelin dealin
>>602182
Then elves.
>>602199
Will we at least be able to have another go at the manlets later on?
You niggas don't understand HOTBLOODNESS
>>602206
And so up next on the chopping block: The Sad One
>>602210
Perhaps...not. Hero's dead so now all their ideas of leaving the kingdom is gone. They're content with being citizens now.
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>602220
I'd like another go at the Manlets once we play the other races, Elves, Barbs, Orcs, Dragons. Please, OP?
>>602229
Well if the King really wants that show next week he's probably gonna have the rider resurrected.
>>602220
>gobbos don't want to leave the kingdom anymore
They've always been slaves, first for the dragons, now for the kingdom.
>>602220
So we only have heroes as PC's. We can't choose to play as the male elf possibly disguised as a female or any other named characters?
>>602229
This is what happens when you go2sleep mid-game and let barbarians run the asylum
>>602228
>If we're unable to play as manlets ever again I will eagerly await the time when we can play as hooded bones.
don't be so pessimistic
>Hot blooded and getting someone killed just because are two different things.
adventure threads don't have happy endings. for the most part.
Fate of everyone was already sealed.
>>602238
That'd just means switching to another one after one dies and there'd be no losing state.
>>602239
hey. it was up to dice.
>barbarians in charge of fucking everything up
Gave me an ocean of hearty keks was wondering why the thread didn't have enough salt levels
>>602243
>>602220
>>602245
Loss would be when the species went extinct
>>602265
That's already happening with everyone passsively
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>>602243
yeah, I don't even remember the last time a thread had an actual good ending
at this point I am just harvesting Salt from the salt mines since everyone is still soo invested in the races from civ thing
Oh come on, we've all got some good keks from this.
OP, roll the credits and play some smooth jazz
>>602261
not in civ thread, but maybe in others
you can make literally anything happen as long you believe in it.and then dive into sadness cause everything will go wrong
>>602271
I just blame the orcs for opening that box and bringing the king here.
>>602271
Villain Adventure had a good ending aside from Texas getting raped and not being loved by his dad.
Other than that everyone was cool.
>>602271
Adventure Thing 2
And so ends episode 2
[smooth jazz plays over credits]
>>602282
We should write "fuck the orcs" in blood as our last action whenever a character dies for bringing about this ending in the first place and have a mini adventure in between playing as a kingdom detective trying to piece together all the clues pointing towards the orcs
>>602299
>revolver ocelot
What?
Rolled 76 (1d100)
>>602299
hand raises from the tomb
gives us thumbs up
>>602299
Credits are false. King's nose is not large enough.
>>602304
Revolver Ocelot
>>602305
Adjusted to reflect actual manlet thoughts
>>602279
I wasn't expecting a happy ending. I was expecting an ending that would last over one fucking thread.
>>602317
next character this thread or next one?, my salt reserves still could use filling but I have enough for now
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>602317
Did we get the shot?
You can come out now.
>Hooded Bones will be dead within 5 posts of Barb Adventure cuz Canon and Solid wont keep mouth shut.
>>602338
You can bet on it
>>602330
NEXT ONE! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!
updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>602341
That's not healthy
>>602338
ayy
sabotage us barbarians and hooded bones is going straight to the paladins
Also I just want a satisfying ending.
Not a sudden THE END out of nowhere, like what almost happened in detective adventures
>>602350
They will never be satisfying. That's OPs fetish
>>602344
You don't tell me what healthy is mufugga
>>602350
should've roll better
>>602347
My thoughts exactly. The King should probably accompany them... You know weekly troop checkup and the like.
>>602374
>inb4 OP won't let you to kill Hooded Bones for 12 hours
>then he'll die unsatisfyingly by not your rolls and buildups
>>602374
don't forget about the barbarian lich and his phylactery which should still be somewhere in Crater lake.
Everyone seems to have forgotten about it so he is still somewhere and the barbarians can't truly go extinct while he is still alive
>>602386
>inb4 spies stole and broken it
>>602396
>Being able to play with something for 3 turns before seeing it burn isn't salt inducing? Shit I got this all wrong.
you don't understand what heat of the moment is.
let down would be if you become "factory chief" or something
>>602396
I wish he was as well, though techically I don't think we know exactly who the lich and he hasn't done anything is so it could be hooded bones keeping it a secret for all we know
>>602386
>Holy Bones sniffs out the phylactery once the Lich dies
It worked in Skeleton Bounty Hunter, it'll work again.
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>602356
Rolling to make King Imp Inventor the new hero unit. (he was king before everything collapsed.)
>>602406
Lich is prolly in hiding cuz dying hurts.
>>602407
Was Holy Bones in this universe? I hope so.
>>602427
There was a skeleton in a paladin outfit last thread.
Pretty sure that was holy bones
>>602423
Either way I hope his demise eventually brings about lots of salt in some form
Though originally before I decided to become a salt farmer since the Barb lich doesn't have a name I was planning on trying to name him Greg just to see what happens
>>602405
Factory chief would have let us work on crap that mattered. Like lightning guns.
>>602432
Could have been Pally Bones too
>>602458
and bikes
oh well
maybe next time
Before I go to sleep Here is a list of my accomplishments in civ thing aftermath so far
>Made dragons suicidal from a lack of hoard causing their already tiny numbers to decrease even more so
>made paladins decide to start killing all barbarian skeletons
>Killed the skeleton dance troupe which was responsible for this beauty in my pic
>got manlet king killed
I can't wait to see what happens with the elves and dragons since the suicides ended up being more hilarious than salt generating
Makes me wonder how little your parents love you for you to bully anons on an image board.
>>602477
I'd list mine but too lazy to remember
but I don't think I'm all that likeable
>>602483
I once asked for a sandwich with mayo. They gave me a sandwich with slightly less mayo. It was then I know everyone has to suffer.
>>602477
Well you already killed our messiah the most cliche and tragic way possible.
Derp. I thought I was replying to OP. But still, we've been suffering from the get go.
>>602494
Did barbs do that
barbs didn't do nuffin'
>>602483
I was fine until all my salt reserves were stolen at the end of Civ thing
OP has created a monster that only an ungodly amount of salt can tame
>>602501
Except kill the goblin king. Not saying that's necessarily a bad thing but still.
>>602505
well at least he died better death than kobold kingwhich I responsible for throwing rock at
>>602510
But they had crowns on their heads. That makes them kings or royalty.
>>602510
dang it, I don't understand these manlets
it's too hard
>>602514
One dude had hair shaped like a crown.
None of them were kings. Princes at most.
>>602515
it's not like you had brains in the first place, rock head
>>602523
>Princes at most.
Close enough for me. Princes are essentially mini kings.
Does someone talks to me? I can't seem to find him.
weird, I certainly heard something like "rock head" somewhere nearby.
oh well
>kicks manlet while walking away thinking he is a bush
>thread starts
>goblins actually have it good because they didn't fuck up with the seal
>after awhile barbs decide to fuck everything over because there not playing there character
Fucking ay
Barbs a super salty and are hiding it
Everyone else is salty
Dragon wants everyone to die
>>602572
NO HAPPY ENDING ALLOWED
>>602572
I'm kind of afraid of playing as a Elf now since Barbs and Orcs will probably fuck shit up.
>>602607
I just wanna leave this fucking kingdom.
Barbs probably wanna leave
Orcs wanna leave
Elves wanna leave
Dragons want their hoard
Manlets are contempt with jobsAlso we should probably have one orc become a cleric to complete the loop on these stories.
>>602486
I believe you. It's okay. This is a safe place.
>>602625
I'm not fucking leaving. Not before we raid the Royal Treasury at least
>inb4 holy bones's background is a barbarian traitor who will probably fuck over the barbs escape plan due to 40 voices being salty in his head
I can already taste the salt if the backstabing continues at this rate
>>602642
Good luck with that. Even if you don't have to face the king, it will be a herculean task.
Also just as a reminder: Elves can turn inorganic stuff into whatever we want.
>>602642
Yeah good luck with that
>>602654
All magic got confiscated
We dragons may have lost our dignity, the magics we took pride in and our anal virginity but we still have our innate jew skills
IF there is hoard right in front of us, we WILL jew it one way or another
>>602625
I wanted the manlets to leave and start an independent full-blown tech based nation. Remaking the citadel and turning it into a flying stronghold would have been great.
Guess that ain't happening.
>>602660
If all of our magic is gone then shouldn't the barbarian skeletons just collapse?
>>602668
that's what the paladins were investigating in the first place. But then they decided to jsut purge the skeletons to save paperwork
>>602668
Magic got confiscated for the ones that got captured
The skellies are naturally forming undead, the human necromancy is just them being able to control the skellies
>>602679
But is all of our magic completely gone?
>>602686
You could probably regain it by trying really hard.But if a court magician notices that shit say goodbye to it.
>>602686
Oh yeah, that shit is goooone. Super gone.
>>602698
Can we re-learn it in secret? The art of divination and transmutation would be really handy in a scenario like this.
>>602702
I'll have to consult the magic crystal ball first
Rolled 1 (1d3)
>>602727
I'll consult Dice Dev- Dice God
1 yes
2 no
3 maybe
>>602818
Dice God not being so demonic lately with all the 100s and this roll
Maybe he realised the error of his ways since the last threads that genociding us through bad rolls would severely limit his salt harvested
>>602667
Well if you ever get control of the manlets again, you could probably just walk out the front gate with a couple manlets.
>>602851
>implying there wont be dice fuckery trying to impede the journey
It wil be the most intense walk ever
>>602477
Absolute Mad Man.
>>602572
>implying I'd won't do same thing if I'd played other character
Nigga plz,
ask hat guy
he knows that I like going against the odds
>>602607
That's only Business Orc. It is sorta interesting, this is pretty much the only Adventure Thing where there are participants who are trying to actively fuck up the protagonist because "NUH MUH" and tripfaggotry and le salt, which is why I removed my trip. Trips were a mistake.
Calling it now that Canon, the Dragons somehow fucks everything up and kills us all.
But shit, I always thought it was gonna be Solid who was gonna fuck us up with his Barbarian Faggotry yet Canon is even more edgy with the "we all gon die anyway so I'm just gonna kill us hur hur hur hur", the fun of the thread is thinking that we have a chance.
>>605919
I don't just want to kill the players, I want to completely ruin their race as well since everyone is still extremely invested in them, the incident with king Gob the 2nd was only too perfect to pass up due to the amount of salt it would generate because Solid set it up perfectly and the dice agreed with me
Rolled 9 (1d100)
>>606160
>living on the edge
puberty?
Rolled 52 (1d100)
>>606164
I just wanna shitpost and piss off all the other players of each protagonists respective races so I can harvest Salt.
>I already pissed of Hats by killing the dance troup and setting the path for all other skeletons to be killed as well
>I pissed off the manlet players by taking their race out of the adventure completely as playable characters and most likely took them out of the next civ thing as well since they are now part of the kingdom
Dragons though seem to be suffering from beaten wife syndrome due to how they have been getting routinely screwed over since the start of Civ thing so it might be hard to anger their players
and I think it will be impossible to anger you unless I get in a shitposting war trying to ruin everything you want to do
Rolled 26 (1d100)
>>606178
and that's why Canon is dead in future/past.
too much dickery
>>606185
Maybe we should have the real Canon come along and challenge the king
Im not mad. I am sad. I legit wanted a goofy and fun adventure. Now its some edgy murdergame.
Murdergame was the Civ. This is an adventure
>>606298
I did too at first, I originally wasn't going to even use my name from civ thing but then it was obvious that people were intent on keeping their names it became obvious that a normal adventure this would not be