Barbarian Quest

>>554853
A preposterously large axe

>>554893
You draw your greataxe from your side, and hold it at the ready. It stands nearly as tall as an average-sized man, but it presents no trouble to someone of your stature.

The two figures are upon you now, circling you with their horses. You circle with them, ready to strike back if neccessary. THey draw their swords in response, curved and jagged in nature.

One of them speaks.

'That, uh, is a nice-looking weapon there. It would be kind of you to gift it to us."

>Stand your ground
>Attack them
>Give them the axe

File: 11_hammer.jpg (22KB, 600x409px) Image search: [Google]

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A Stubby hammer.

>>554970
Sorry bud, too late

>>554957
>Stand your ground

>>554957
> stand your ground
"I am not a kind man."

>>554986
>>555016

You stand firm, planting your feet in the sand.

"I am many, many things, but a kind man is not one of them. I have killed much worse than the likes of you. If you do not want to lie here, bleeding in the sun, your limbs crushed and the buzzards pecking out your eyes, I suggest that your turn back."

The first man is unperturbed, keeping his eyes focused on you. He stares seeming slightly amused.

His companion wordessly turns his horse around and scampers off, deciding that he values his life.

You stare down the remaining man.

He charges.

>How do you react?

>>555126
Kick sand into the air as the horse approaches, take the small window of opportunity to knock douche-lord off his horse with the handle of the axe.

>>555135
>Kick sand into the air as the horse approaches, take the small window of opportunity to knock douche-lord off his horse with the handle of the axe.
The horse rears as the sand blinds it, and you slam the handle of your axe into the man's hipbone, shattering it.

He cries out and falls from his horse. You shove your axe at his throat as he lays on the ground. There are tears in his eyes.

"Please...mercy."

>Leave him there as he is
>Break all of his limbs and leave him
>Kill him quickly
>Kill him brutally

>>555162
>Kill him quickly

and with that I'm off to bed

>>555162
> break his limbs and leave him.
You did warn him.

>>555162
>Kill him quickly
"I will"

>>555162
>Leave him there as he is
"Neither your life nor your death is my advantage. You remain nothing."

>>555162
>>Kill him quickly
A vulture preying on people in the desert, who gives a shit about him? Just get it over with and take his horse and water.

>>555343
>who gives a shit about him
that's the thing though - why kill him?

>>555162
break all his limbs and steal his horse

>>555162
>>Break all of his limbs and leave him

And take his horse.

>>555162
>break his limbs

>>555361
Because he has seen our face and can tell his friend which direction we went when he comes back with more horsemen.

>>556086
Of an aimless wanderer? In the desert? that's more paranoia than caution.

That kind of fear is for the weak, not the reasonable.

>>556136
I'm not worried about our face as much as his friend. Yeah, I am probably being paranoid, but that's healthy sometimes.

>>555361
Like I said, he is a vulture, you think he'll mend his ways and become an upstanding citizen if we let him go? his hip bone is shattered and he won't be able to ride or walk anyway. He's going to die out here unless you intend to drag him to the nearest settlement.

>>556527
why would we care? We're strong, he's weak, his hurt or pleasure is no concern of ours. Do we stomp every ant on the way? Do we mercy kill every fly that's lost a wing?

Alright, so that's a majority for broken limbs. Give me a minute.

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You smile.

"Mercy is given by kind men."

In a flash, you bring your foot down on his kneecap, shattering it. He screams, the sound of a dying animal, but there is no one to hear it but you. You do the same to his other leg, and his scream pitches to inhuman levels. You use the blunt of your axe on his arms, and finally his screams stop, replaced by an open-mouthed squeal, as tears stream down his face.

You take his gear and put it on his horse. His sword is light for your taste, but can make for a good spare in a sticky situation.

You drink his water, and eat from his pack attatched to his horse. He does nothing but stare upwards at the sun, crying.

You mount his horse and set off. If he is lucky, his friend will come back and find him before the vultures do. If he is honorable, he will take his own life- he is of no use to the world anymore.

You have two options- continue on your path to the Northern Hills, or head in the direction of his friend. If you follow his friend, you may not survive-strong as you are, you doubt you have the energy to take on an entire hunting party. There are rumors of civilization to the north anyways

>Make your choice

>>558238

Go north. Men rob because of lack, not plenty. There is nothing of value here.

>>558238
>>558267
This

>>558267
>>558429
You decide to continue on your path. His horse is easy to control, although it is obviously tired from a day's worth of riding through the sun.

Darkness falls. You and the animal beneath you are both tired, and the cold of the desert night will overtake you if you do not find shelter soon. You are still a ways away from the Northern Hills, and are coming across an outcropping of large rocks. You enter them.

A ways off to your left, you see a hut. A lone figure stands in the doorway, staring at you. Despite the distance, you can barely make out the fact that it's female.

You feel your whole body ache. She might be able to relieve that, and you could replenish your strength in case the desert hunters find you again.

>Go to the hut, or make camp on your own.

>>559395
To the hut but don't act reckless

>>559834
Invoke guest right.

>>560228
And if that doesn't work invoke large axe right.

>>560228
This
Weapons sheated but withing reach just in case

Is op kill?

>>561454
Nah I'm here, been discussing board rules on a different thread. gimme a minute.

>>559395
I kinda want our barbarian to be super awkward around girls and then kill them in frustration because he can't speak to them

>>561761
What? Wouldn't not being used to being around women be more appropriate?
As he as been on the battlefield his whole life.

>>561981
But I want too hear the lamentation of women.

>>561981
that's the whole point: he's only used to merciless killing

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>>559834
>>560228

You dismount your horse and head towards the hut, keeping you right hand at your side as you do. You are tired and hungry, but you are not stupid.

You can see the woman clearly now. She is young and fit, with browned skin. Her eyes are dark brown, and have you entranced.

She speaks.

"What do you seek, traveler?"

You do not have much experience with women aside from taking pleasure, but you do know the guest rule.

"I invite myself as a guest seeking respite."

"You need not to. I have been...expecting...someone like you. Come inside."

You she turns around, leading you into the hut. Your eyes trail down, watching her legs and rear through her fur robe. You get the feeling she knows you are watching.

You are sat down at the end of a room, a fire crackling at the other end. You pick away at the slab of meat in your hand.

The woman stares at you on all fours at the other end of the room. When she moves, it resembles that of a wolf or a lion. Her shadow moves ever so behind her. Her legs glisten in the firelight

You know she is unnatural. But for the time being, you do not mind.

>Ask for information about your route
>Ask why she was expecting you
>Freeform question/action
>Wait for her to speak

>>562283
>>Wait for her to speak

>>562283
Ask why she was expecting you.

>>562283
> Ask why she was expecting you
>"Are you a wizard?"

>>562324
>>"Are you a wizard?"
Kek

>>562283
Are you doing lewds.
Becuse you should.

>>562335
Maybe

Probably

>>562283
>She probably wants to talk about prophecy or some shit, you can sleep through that.

>>562312
>>562324
You put the meat down, deciding you've had your fill.

"You said you were...expecting me. How?"

The woman smiles, her eyes trailing from your face down to your groin, and then crawls to the fire.

"I am...impressed."

She moves her hands around the fire, slowly and carefully, like a delicate dance

"I see many things through the land, barbarian."

Images arise in the fire. You see yourself squaring off with the horsemen. The scene progresses until you are breaking his limbs one by one. The witch, as you have figured, is watching excitedly, tracing a finger around her neck as she breathes heavily.

"You are a strong, violent man, destined for a crown. I wish to...help you along the way."

She crawls to you, leaning towards you. You can taste her breath, warm and soft. You lean in in response, your eyes locked with hers.

"Tell me what you seek, Barbarian."

>Freeform

>>562403
"Everything."
Time for lewds.

>>562403
> purpose
Not really happy with that but it seems to me we are wandering aimlessly after being cast out or our people dying. If it is the latter then I will switch to revenge.

>>562403
UNLIMITED POWAHHHHH

>>562403
"Body oil."

>>562527
Kek

>>562403
>I want you
Let's fuck this bitch

>>562403
>"Strength"

>>562411
>>562465
>>562545
So I'm getting a majority for strength and I minority want lewd...

Gimme a minute

Nek minit we wake up in the middle of a desert, with the horse frenching us.

>>562662
>Nek minit

>>562596
A minute or a hour.

>>562891
Don't be a bitch

>>562926
Don't be a fag.

>>562932
Just fucking have some patience, underage cunt

Hay now, don't go throwing around those kind of accusations.
Im not being impatient, just asking why it is taking longer than he said it would.
Back off.

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"I seek strength. I seek power. I want the kings and the gods themselves driven at my feet, so that I may crush their skulls in my hands. I want to burn their lands, and kill their children, and ravage their women. And I want them to know it was me. I want...everything."

The witch smiles, tilting her head, as if she had always known that was your answer.

"As a true man should. I will tell you how to bring the world to your knees...for a price."

"Name it."

She stands up and lets her robe fall to the floor, revealing her bare body. You feel the blood surge within you. She is a goddess in human skin.

You take her. Like an animal, she cries out to the night in shuddering gasps, wrapping her legs around you, barely able to sustain your weight. You have been with countless women, but none like her. You forget your troubles for the night and revel in your pleasures, picturing a throne of corpses, with sitting at the top, women clawing at your feet.

At the height of passion, she concedes.

"Go...hah...to the...city of-ugh!...city of Trask. Talk to...huh...a man in a white...white robe. He will...tell you what...you need. Take...ufff...take from my storeroom. I...do not...hah...need from it."

The two of you continue through the night.

You awaken to a pounding on the door. You peel yourself off the ground and stand up, stumbling around in an attempt to find your axe. The witch is gone, the only evidence of her existing being her robe, lying on the ground. You see your axe lying at the far end of the room. Before you can lunge for it, the door breaks, and 7 armed men enter. They draw their swords and begin to laugh at the site of your nude body.

>Attack them head on (Roll 1d12, although it's basically suicide)
>Lunge for your axe (1d12)
>Run to the storeroom (1d12)

Rolled 10 (1d12)

>>564627
>>Lunge for your axe (1d12)
And say something Arnie would say, like "AAAHHGIIIIAAAAGGGGH".

Rolled 4 (1d12)

>>564627
> Lunge for your axe
But first stand up, shrug and say "wash day, right".

>>564657
>>564707

You lunge for your axe, grabbing it and letting out a ferocious battle cry. The men seemed intimidated, but none of them back off. They know they have strength in numbers.

>Freeform response to the situation, roll 1d12

Rolled 8 (1d12)

>>564712
Disembowel two men with a single swing of the axe.

Don't forget too check the storage room

Rolled 11 (1d12)

>>564712
Use the furniture to impede there progress and try funnel then to you while you chop them down one by one

>>564627
Woo, we stretched her fucking pussy out.

Did we come inside her? Don't want her coming back pregnant or some shit.

>>564777
Agree with this

>>564891
Why you afraid off pregnancy we will become a barbarian king can you name a king with only 1 children

>>564777
>>564891
You back up, keeping your stance firm. The group advances slowly, attempting to circle you. The furniture in the house is sparse, but enough. You grab a chair and toss it into the group, sending two of them sprawling to the ground, clutching at their chests. One of them splits off from the rest- you swing wide and decapitate him.

The remaining four come at you now, swinging wildy. You deflect their blows, lunging backwards. You grab the witch's bed, untouched despite your bout with her, and move it front of you.

One of the men jumps up on the bed and raises his sword. You cut open his stomach and he falls at your feet, screaming as he holds his intestines in. Your smash his head open with your foot. The three come around the bed, one by one. You disembowel two of them with a single swing, and cut the last one down as he tries to turn around.

You go to two lying on the ground. One of them is crawling for the open doorway, his ribs sticking out of his side. You bring your axe down, splitting his head in half. You walk to the other one and raise your axe...

"Wait!"

You stop. A female voice.

She removes the cloth covering her face, revealing dark brown shin and green eyes. She is young, no older than 18 at most.

"I...did not want to be here. I am- I WAS their slave. You...you have freed me. Please...spare me, and I will be in your debt."

It takes a moment to register, but you realize your options. She may know the area well. In fact, a guide may be useful. You are used to working alone, but you may be open to a companion...

Of course, you COULD always satisfy your base instincts.

>Kill her
>Take her as a guide
>Ask her for directions
>Send her back to her tribe with a warning
>Fuck her
>Freeform/mixture of above options

>>565292
It's our duty to pay seed wherever we can, right? Let's fuck her and take her as a companion.

>>565327
This.

>>565292
something along the lines of "I will spare you, Girl. And if you don't want to die blind and half-eaten by buzzards in the desert, I will protect you too. But first... [pointing at your nude body glistening with blood, then to the storeroom] wash day, right? I'll need you to strip. I can't trust what you have on you. The witch may have some clothing for you."

If she disagrees to any of our most luxurious requests, rape her, she's the enemy. Artfully fuck her even if she follows the requests. There is no such thing as jailbait for a barbarian. And no such thing as pulling out. Take her as a guide in any case after you thoroughly pilfer the storeroom.

>>565327
>>565340
>>565362
Okay, I'll get to work.

I'm gonna try and space out the sex after this, both for pacing reason and because I don't wanna get banned.

>>565292
"I'll need a guide who knows the area well. You can come with me, i can protect you so you don't end up as a slave again but... I have some needs a travelling companion such as yourself will have to fufill"

There, we keep her around and get to bang her later so it can be more paced

>>565292
KILL
NO PRISONERS
STOP THINKING WITH DICK

You lower your axe.

"I will spare you, girl. But if you do not heed my requests, I will tear out your eyes and leave you for the buzzards. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Take off your robes. I do not trust you completely yet."

She stands up wordlessly, letting her robes fall to the floor. Her body is voluptuous and curved, with minor scars on her back, barely visible past the sun glinting off of her dark brown skin.

She follows you into the storeroom. Inside, you pin her the wall and take her. To your surprise, she is receptive, moaning loudly as you thrust. While she is nothing compared to the witch, the experience is...satisfying.

She slumps down against the wall once you are done, breathing heavily as she tries to recover herself. You look around the storeroom and see...

>Choose your gear (Roll 1d12)

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>565530

>>565568
lol

>>565570
Feels bad

Rolled 7 (1d12)

>>565530
A bottle of body oil that never empties, and a set of impractical golden bikini armor for the girl.

I'm playing this game like we're the musclehead actor in an old school Italian barbarian film.

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>>565646
We Golden Axe now?
Where do we get the old man midget?

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Rolled 6 (1d12)

>>565530
Might as well try for one more thing.

A headdress made from the pelt of a great cat.

Rolled 12 (1d12)

>>565530
A crossbow for the lady to cover us up.

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>565530
A quarter staff and some furs

>>565568
>>565646
You search the room, taking everything you can. Theere are decent supplies as far as food and drink go, but there is ittle in the way of combat. You find a wood shield and a wood chestplate, which you stuff into a pack. There is a canteen full of a strange oil, the purpose of which you cannot discern, but you pocket it anyways. There is a quarter staff, but it will do no good as a weapon. You turn and see the woman fitting herself with a golden bikini armor. It is worn and dented and likely impractical for combat, but you do not stop her. You see one of the witch's headresses, made from the pelt of a leopard. You cannot wear it in this heat, but it appeals to you, so you stuff it in your pack. Finally, there is a crossbow. It is in pristine condition, with gilded edges.There are a fair number of bolts strewn about, so you won't have to worry about running out of ammo. You pick it up, and pay special attention to the expert wolf engraving on the side.

"Fenrir", you read.

You feel a soft hand on your arm, and you react instinctively, pulling the girl in and grabbing her by her arms. You relax yourself when you realize she means no harm. Her face is deadset, and she does not seem to be troubled by your sudden reaction.

"Let me have it. I was the best shot in the tribe. I can cover you during combat."

You grunt, handing her the crossbow and the bolts. You were never fond of long-ranged combat anyways.

On the table across the room's back wall, there is a map. Strange drawings and symbols adorn in, pointing at various civilizations and areas. You see what is closest to you.

>Valley city within the Northern Hills
>Tribal city where the hunting party came from
>Eastern Hive
>Western Marshland

>>566993
>Valley city within the Northern Hills

>>566993
Oh, yeah, what did we bring with us in the hut? I know we had a horse, a fuckhueg axe of axing, a jagged curved sword, and a furry loincloth. Anything else I missed?

>>567099
>Looks at the top of the thread.

Never mind then.

>>566993
> valley city
Get some soft merchants daughters. But seriously, what's a this hive?

>>566993
live off the land near the witch's hut and raise a family with our bikini armor-clad buxom jailbait wench

resume with our son in the exact same place

>>567436
We need to have sexual intercourse whit her every single night to increase our chances of impregnating her.
Oh and we also need a harem....

>>567436
>>567958
It's like you guys never heard of a harem before...

And if for some odd reason you want to waifu her, we could always just make her our queen later, when we rule the continent.

>>567980
Oh, wait, my bad, >>567958 you did.

Still, let's wait for our adventure to end before we knock her up.

>>567080
>>567189
"We are going to the Northern Hills."
The girl nods, and the two of you set out of the hut with your gear.

As you walk outside to the assortment of horses, you see a familiar sight.

The crippled man is tied to a horse. He looks at you with delirious, terrified eyes.

"No, no no no no no NO NO NO NO!"

The girl spits on the ground.

"He deserves his fate. Kill him and let us be on our way."

Fuck, forgot the choices

>Kill the man
>Leave him
>Take him with you

>>568102
Kill him and take the horses. We might as well put him out of his misery. He's absolutely no use to anyone for anything now; he's too broken to even be worth trying to sell as a slave.

>>568102

B-b-but you're not the writer guy!?

...Let's rig up the biggest stallion up to his ass after buxom wench gets it nice and ready to obliterate this guy

>>568102
Drop him on the ground, tie him to the bridle, and smack the horse's ass to get it sprinting back home, dragging him along with it. Death by road rash.

Also, check out the loot on the rest of the horses, and see if we can sell one or two of them at the market in the Northern Hills.

>>568218
oh shit writer guy is two guys...

still get the horses to fuck him as you and buxom wench bone again

>>568218
>>568228

I alternate between my house and my dorm, dude

>>568102
Loot the horse and any valuable then leave him

>>568237
>two ip addresses
>one human
>are you a wizard?

>>568647
>Constant shitposter discovers airline mode, proclaims himself a god

>>568090
Hahaha we should totally untie him and threw him in the house to cry on his friends' corpses

>>568218
>>568228
>>568647
Dude are you literally retarded or something?

>>568819
Just ignore him

>>568819
unfortunately I am literally retarded.

i still want barbarossa to inpragganat all the neighing mares tho

>>569346
Just stop dude, holy shit

>>568219
Seconded

>>568219
I like how this guy thinks

You walk to him.

"NOO, NOO, NOOOOOO!"

You pull him off of the horse, not caring for the ropes binding him. They tear through his chest, exposing several of his ribs and tearing one of his hands off. He howls inhumanly.

The girl is beside you now, grasping your arm tightly. For the first time, you see a slight smile on her face.

You take one the rope hooks and slam it into the man's rear. His screams reach a new octave. The girl points the direction her tribe is in. You smash your fist into the horse's side, feeling something break. It screams and kicks back, knocking out the man's teeth, and then sets off wildly in that direction, the bleeding, broken man trailing behind, his insides spilling out. He will be dead before he reaches home/

The girl leans up and whispers into your ear.

"You kill as good as you fuck..."

You resist the urge to take her again, and focus on the horses. The desert raiders are poor in terms of weapons ad perishables, but there are many trinkets and toys that you feel you could sell.

>Choose some sort of special artifact to be found with the horses, only one.

>>570053
a giant undulating purple 15 inch dildo that mistakenly identified as a rare elf wood

>>570053
A well crafted black iron spear, etched with images of storms and lightning.

>>570053
A mace or hammer too dual wield with our axe

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>570100
sounds breddy cool

>>570100
You find a black iron spear, well crafted and with several images of storms and lightning on its side. You were never one for spears, but you keep it as backup anyways.

You load up whatever you can onto the two healthiest horses there and you and the girl set off.

The journey through takes several days. The days are hot and the nights are cold. The girl sleeps with you each night, both for pleasure and for warmth.You care not for the reason, so long as you can release your seed. During the day, you hunt, although there is not much in the desert.

You eat. You drink. You sleep. And so on.

You are coming close to the hills now, as the grass turns green. In the distance, you several dots moving back and forth. You advance towards it.

It is a fight. Two groups stand off, slashing at each other with weapons.One side is well armed, but few in number. A mercenary crew. The other side has fewer armaments, but is more numerous. Pilgrims, you guess from their robes.

>Help the mercs (1d12)
>Help the pilgrims (1d12)
>Attack both (1d120
>Watch the battle and wait
>Move on

>>570537
That should say 1d12, not 1d20

Rolled 8 (1d12)

>>570537
>>Help the pilgrims (1d12)
Try out our new spear on the boss mercenary.

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>570537
Wait a bit until both sides look a bit tired or one side's obviously losing, ambush and attack the winning side, disarm and tie up remaining losers.

>>570581
And sell them into slavery, I forgot to add. Not that there's any point to adding that, with that low roll.

Rolled 65 (1d120)

>>570537
Jump into the very thick of the battle and break it up very violently. As the dust settles from your inhuman entry, attack and destroy the first side that attempts to attack you.

>>570537
Helping weaker side can earn us more reward

>>570810
There's no obvious weaker side in this

>>570643
Why did you put a zero in your roll?

Rolled 4 (1d12)

>>570537
>Help the pilgrims

>>570537
watch and wait. We have no stake in this contest and care not what befalls these strangers.

Rolled 12 (1d12)

>>570953
>>570643
didn't parse the (1d120 as a typo

here's a reroll

Alright, I'm not really seeing a compromise so I'm just gonna roll

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>574404

Rolled 8 (1d12)

>>570537

While nobody is watching, plunder the wagon train.

>>571317


You charge into the fray, screaming at the top of your lungs, shoving aside anyone near you. The battle stops as both sides stare at you in awe. You are a force of nature, an immovable wall standing in the middle of the two sides.

One of the pilgrims charges you, brandishing a small dagger.

"For the Snake Queen!"

His head is taken off by a crossbow bolt.

You charge into the pilgrims. It is slaughter. They strike feebly at you, but none of them and land a hit in the flurry of blood, limbs, and bolts.

The few who escape run straight into the mercenaries, where they are cut down.

The last one, a young woman, crawls away, crying, seemingly unaware her foot is missing. You grabs her by her hair. She cries out to the gods for safety, but finds none. You crush her head in your fingers.

You turn, raising your axe to take out any survivors. You are instead greeted by one of the mercenaries, a tall blond woman holding her sword at her side. She is holding her sword at her side, staring at you. She is impressed.

"That was...something."

"Indeed it was!"

A short, bald man, wearing armor that is slightly too big on him, walks over to you, flanked by two mercenaries.

"You have out utmost thanks for killing those deluded fools. We are running thin, and you saved us several losses. Now, before we get to the small talk, let's get down to it: what do you want as a reward?"

>Weapons
>Supplies
>An escort
>The women
>You do not wish for a reward/it is your pleasure
>You do not require a measly reward
>Kill them all, take their supplies
>Mixture/freeform

>>575056
"I could do with some water and food. But i'd like to know what was going on in here. I don't really care for your conflict or your mission, simple curiosity"

>>575056
Kill them all. Fuck the women.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>575166
>>575172

>>575166
>>575748
Oh, thank god.

>>575056

You stare at the dead woman's corpse. It is giving you emanations. In between her breasts you see a small jewel clasp. The ruby crystal gives off a radiance and is warm to the touch. You palm it quietly, and ask for one man's share (of the loot).

>>576245
You trying to be OP or just doing your own thing?

>>575056
Get supplies, OP. Gotta keep your sidekick loaded up with crossbow bolts!

Rolled 3 (1d12)

>>575056
"It was my pleasure. I hate worm-wraggling peasant scum. They know nothing of battle."

Looks up and down at the blond woman

"Scratch that. I'll have you on the field right now if your group wants to survive."