Save the Internet

"hello"

>>5136
"what can i do for you today?"

you are sure to hide the knife and she doesn't look suspicious at all

"Show me to the hot cocoa machine"

File: everyone is john.jpg (399KB, 3508x2480px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5123
"hello, my name is John and im here to save the internet"

>>5144
she takes you to the hot cocoa machine and gives you a cup of hot cocoa, as well as one for herself.

You think she has a crush on you

Brutally rape and murder her and make your way to the mainframe.

File: tegaki.png (10KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

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(testing out this draw feature, don't mind me)

>>5155
Dubs confirms OP

>>5153
ask to see the main server room

File: cocoa.jpg (28KB, 280x175px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5155
she dies and no one is there to see her at the moment, no one heard her scream either so you are still safe. Neither of you had time to drink your hot cocoa.

you don't know where the mainframe is yet so you leave the hot cocoa room and continue searching, you come across the janitor who asks you:



"are you supposed to be here?"

>>5153
sip cocoa

>>5166
Yeah dude, I'm a mainframe inspector. I got lost though.

>>5166
YES I AM

>>5166
splash hot cocoa on janitor's face, proceed to lick off face

>>5166
kick him in the nuts

File: johny.jpg (16KB, 400x250px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5170
"well you won't be able to get there without your key... I'd ask Johny for the key, he's in room 304"

you nod your head and being walking, once you get there you knock on the door and see Johny (pic related) he asks you:



"hello who are you?"

bribe him with cocoa

>>5183
>who are you

Your wife's boyfriend

I know you arent incorruptable. Have this cocoa and give me the key.

>>5183
snap his neck then proceed to skull fuck his eye socket

>>5183
The father of your wifes child

>>5187
>>5191
>>5194
>>5197
Why not all?

File: Johny's_Wife.jpg (39KB, 450x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5191
Johny's face becomes serious, really quickly and he gets up from his chair. He walks up to you right in front of your face and says:



"What the fuck did you say to me? I swear to God if you've even touched my wife (pic related) even once I will rip your fucking head off kid"

he inhales deeply and awaits for your next action/response

>>5209
kiss him to steal his breath

>>5209
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

>>5219
This

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>>5209
Throw cocaine at his face and steal the key

when can we summon Cthluhu?

>>5219
you kiss Johny in the lips for a solid 12 seconds. The look on his face is priceless, he just slowly backs away speechless for a few seconds and then finally says:



"How did you know I was Bisexual... I mean... my wife is nice and all, but that kiss just took my breath away... how'd you like to go on a date sometime?"

Johnny creepily stares at you awaiting your response.

>>5235
Act as his Dominatrix.

>>5235
go to his house and mess with all of his pots and pans

>>5235
seduce him into helping you

>>5235
chop his balls off, make him eat them, then punch the server rack while screaming "ora"

>>5238
you in Johnny have sex right there in his Google office for over 30 minutes. You dominate him in ways he didn't think were possible until he finally ejaculates for the 10th time and says:



"I can't go anymore my penis will explode"

Johnny faints on the ground and drops the key to the mainframe-room on the floor.

>>5247
you made me spit my drink out

>>5249
Take out your cool glasses and hold a gentoo bootable drive to deflect the evil spirits of googleshit.

Keep going to the mainframe. Kill and rape anyone in your way.

File: googlepolice.png (285KB, 1000x619px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5257
you put on glasses and hold out the bootable drive and are about to leave the room to go to the main frame when the security stops you!



"HEY! Did you know anything about a rape/murder in the hot cocoa room? Let me see your clearance"

four Google Cops approach you quickly and you don't have much time to think

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5249
summon Nyalarhotep to aid us

[spoiler] wait

File: tegaki.png (17KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

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(just trying this out)

>>5268
Teleport behind them and cut them into pieces with a katana.

>>5273

Tell them to check my doubles and point to the bit where the ceiling meets the wall next to me

Scream "I WILL DO IT TO YOU TOO IF YOU DONT GET OUT OF MY WAY" if they get out of your way do it anyways

File: katana.jpg (20KB, 367x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>5280
you kill them all with your katana by telephoning behind them and slicing them into fucking pieces but out of no where, Zorg the Godly One approaches...

He looks exactly like pic related, and he pulls out his katana and says:



"heh... you're pretty good at the sword-art, for a beginner. How's about you play with someone your own size?"

He gets in a battle stance and lunges at you

>>5298
Block and take his fedora.

>>5298
Hold out your finger like a gun and shout SPIRIT GUN and shoot him with your physic energy

>>5298
Take the katana up your ass. Blind him with the blood and then chop his nuts off.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>5298
summon Cthulhu

>>5298
>telephones
my sides

>>5303
you steal his fedora and put in on you quickly run to the mainframe as you here Zorg screaming:


"Noooo I can't live without my fedora"

he fades to ash instantly without his fedora to give him life. You are finally at the mainframe room, you realize you don't even need the key anymore since you just break the door down with your katana and steel knife.

You enter the room to see none other than Mark Zuckerberg standing at the Google's Main computer he slowly turns around and says



"so you've finally made it here... huh"

>>5318
Tease him about his manletness

>>5327
This. Zuckerjew deserves it.

>>5318
Give him a belly rub

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>5318
summon Cthuga

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testing

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>>5318
You tease him about being a manlett and he kinda looks at the ground for a few moments but then raises his hand upwards.

You look towards the ceiling and see a mounted machine gun turret aimed right at you...



"Not so funny now is it"

You are nervous

>>5344
It still is funny HAHAHAH

>>5344
Wear the fedora and gain powers of the katana master. Block bullets with the katana.

>>5123
Bane?

>>5344
Throw your hot cocoa at the turret

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>5344
summon Nyaruko

>>5347

he twitches for a second and decides not to activate the machine gun but instead says:



"Listen faggot, if you want a fight, a fight is what you'll get"

he puts his fists up and gets closer to you he swats your weapon aside and punches you in the face, it wasn't enough to knock you down

>>5358
Pull out your dick and show him how your dick is thicker than his biceps

>>5358
Hot cocoa attack

>>5358
YOU CANT BEAT ME MANLET

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5358
summon Kuuko

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>>5360
You pull out your dick to show him how your dick is thicker than his biceps but he misinterprets it and opens his mouth wide

This creeps you out a bit, he stopped fighting and is just standing there staring at your dick with a strangely-gay look on his face

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>>5343

>>5370
Poke his eye with your dick and seppuku him with the sharp edge of the fedora.

>>5370
Take a picture of it and post it with his facebook account

>>5370
violently skullfuck him

>>5374
This

>>5377
you poke his eye with your dick and he shouts:



"ow you missed!

you then take off your fedora while he is blinded from your precum in his eyes and you kill him as closely to seppuku-style as you can using nothing but the hat.

He falls to the floor while updating his facebook status on what just happened and finally dies.

You walk over to the mainframe computer and it asks for a password.

Shove the key into the mainframe

>>5394
Slap your dick against the keyboard and try to log in

>>5402
the mainframe starts to beep loudly and electricity flows out of it's main pressure core.

An alarm sounds which causes everyone in the immediate area to approach in the building behind you, there is a timer with ten minutes on it before the entire Google Complex explodes. You slowly turn around with your bloody fedora in hand to see hundreds of Google employees angry at you.

>>5394
The password is

cuck4lyfe

>>5416
Point your finger at them and
SPIRIT GUN

>>5416
Produce C4 from rectum, then go out in a battle of glory against a thousand google employees

>>5416
Wear the fedora to gain powers of Zorg the Godly one and then fly away.

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>>5425
you brutally kill them all with your spirit gun and run out of the building just in time

the whole building fucking explodes and you run away covered in the blood of the innocent.

You walk up to moot who's still on the street and tell him that you completed the task.

He tells you that 4chan is now safe, but the police will get you both moot raises his hand and points behind you

You turn around only to see the SWAT team ready to kick your ass

surrender for your crimes

>>5443
Act like a tennis ball so that when they try to swat you, you will just bounce away. Tie moot with a string through his penis .

>>5449
You surrender to the SWAT team and they imprison you...

moot won't go out without a fight and they simply shoot his head off with one blast

You live in prison for the rest of your life for the mass genocide of Google employees, and rape.



THE END

Thanks for the story guys, what do you think? Good lore?

>>5460
It was funny but the ending sucked.

Now do one with bane.

I loved it senpai

This thread should be archived imo, have its own anime and feature film, and tv series.

Agreed

>>5460
You should've picked the best answers (give people a 5min window to post) instead of going for the first reply.

>>5487
Sometimes it was the second reply but yeah

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>Neither of you had time to drink your hot cocoa

>>5460
I liked it.

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Can I add someone to the party that may help things?

>>5443
Those are clearly not real guns
>>5460
>we surrendered
WELP GG

I enjoyed it

wow how did you put red text

<red>test</red>
<p style="color:red;">TESTING</p>

>>10125
document.getElementById("myH2").style.color = "red";

>>10141

<button onclick="myFunction()">Try it</button>

<p id="demo"></p>

<script>
function myFunction() {
var str = "Hello World!";
var result = str.fontcolor("green");
document.getElementById("demo").innerHTML = result;
}
</script>

>>5460
What happened to Jewt?

>>10125
Read the sticky.