Doldrums of Fantasy Life

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Going through the bothersome details of early game is getting to you so you pound down the remainder of your beer and decide to grab another, not waking your dog. When you get back, you unpause the game and to your surprise there is a character placed in front of yours. "hi there." she says to you. "can you help me out? i haven't been here for long and i'm not sure what to do."

Having started your second malt already, you've got a good buzz going on. A few options appear.

- Where are you from?
- Sarcastic
- How can I help you?
- Come with me.

You deliberate a second before choosing.

How can I help you

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After some consideration you choose the option you want and the character in front of you stares at you for a few seconds and asks if it is "really you." Dialogue buttons appear on the screen indicating that a response is required, but no text is accompanying them. You shirk your character from the interaction by motioning away with the control stick, and decide to avoid interaction with the character in favor of exploration, and leave with her remaining in the spot she was. After killing some enemies, you notice your dog is having a seizure so you wake it up. It gets off of the bed and walks to the front door. It's raining outside, so you continue to play the game, killing enemies and fortifying your faction's base until you reach a point where the game instructs you that a team is needed to continue adventuring. There is a selection of classes that you must choose, including wizards, knights, berserkers and magical creatures. You look through the characters, but notice one of the magical creatures is unselectable. It is the character who was bothering you from before. Do you...

- Get another drink
- Go and jerk off to Iiniku Ushijima
- Look up which characters would be most beneficial on google
- Turn the game off and go to sleep

>>49236
Get another drink

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>>49261
You go to get some beer from your fridge but you already drank your last one. You just drink a container of denatured alcohol instead because there's no difference.

You hear a crash at your front door and decide to go check it out. Your dog is standing in the middle of the street in pouring rain and he has broken your window, so you shoot him with the assault rifle you carry on you at all times. "He must have been the character in that game somehow. No wonder he was having a seizure. Welp, at least I know now I have some kinda ESP."

You go outside and walk down the street drinking denatured alcohol until you come across a car perched high above on the local lover's lane cliff. "Hmmm" you think to yourself. "What should I do next?"

- Sneak up to their car in a thunderstorm
- Wait and follow them
- Call the animal ambulance and try to aid your dog
- Walk out of your subdivision and into the highway

call the animal ambulance

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You throw your cell phone at the prostrate dog and it dials the animal ambulance upon impact. A few minutes later an unmarked utility van pulls up to your address and out walk Pamela Anderson and Todd Christley of hit USA network TV show "Chrisley Knows Best" exit the vehicle, and you drop the industrial sized solvent container in shock

Ms. Anderson begins breathing life into your childhood pet as Mr. Chrisley walks up to you and asks if "it was you." Not classically trained in southern jive, you cock your head at him, and he quickly motions his finger towards the car upon the cliff: "So was it them??"

You nod your head. As Todd trudges up the embankment of the muddy, rock precipice, you mosey on over to the former baywatch actress with all of the finesse of a socially awkward middle aged asian man still living with his immigrant parents.

As you encroach upon the dog, she looks up at you and asks a question. Due to the poisoning effects the amount of denatured alcohol you consumed have on a human being, you do not hear what she says. You simply stare at what appears to you are her large, sopping breasts just beneath a red lifeguard's bathing suit. Your next decision will be a critical one

- Join Todd
- "Todd's going after the people who must have sniped my dog. Please, use all of the medical knowledge and equipment you have at your disposal to save her life."
- Leave them and return to your room to resume playing video games
- Pin Pamela Anderson to the ground

They shall save the life of my dog

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"Fucking do something! My baby!", you cry out.

Hair strewn down over her forehead and into her face, Pamela ignores the temporary setback to her beauty. She hands you a suction gun and tells you to place it near where her tweezers go, after stringing up a bloodbag to the mirror of the van. Using a popsicle stick she peels back the interior of the mascerated rat-shot wounds you inflicted on your dog amidst the stupor of what a thousand ether fiends could only even imagine. After what seemed like a relatively short amount of time, she cauterizes the wounds and shaves the fur around the area, and places a large gauze stick to the inflicted area. After writing down instructions for you to carry out at a later time, Chrisley is discovered no where to be found. Neither is the car atop the perch at lovers lane.

"I'm going to need you to keep her warm, inside and lying down until I return tomorrow. Make sure she gets plenty of water and provide a bland diet. I need to find Todd."

Standing with there, soaking wet, you look at her with the expression of an S-rank assassin coming across another of his species, and hesitate blatantly.

- "Come inside with me. Bring whatever tools you need, we've just moved in and I'm not sure what the fuck to do in this type of situation."

- Thank her and carry your unconscious dog inside

- Planet explode

- Try to seduce her by attempting a voice impression of Matt Smith as Dr. Who

>>49528
>eject spaghetti
>thank her