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Anonymous
The Quest For the Delegates 2016-07-30 08:36:25 Post No. 426607
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The Quest For the Delegates 2016-07-30 08:36:25 Post No. 426607
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You are Ted Cruz, a man who has had his rightfully owned delegates STOLEN from him by DOHNOLD. You must get the delegates back and secure your place as the Republican National Convention's nominee at all costs and save the United States of America from unparalleled destruction that can only be stopped by you, Ted Cruz. You are currently sitting on your couch at your house in Texas, when a vision flashes before your eyes, and your entire destiny is laid out in front of you. Dohnold. Must. Hand. Over. The delegates.
You decide to...
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Confront dahnold, we must honorably battle him for these delegates.
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Return to our lair to plot revenge
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>>426607
Plan DOHNALDs assassination
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>>426617
Dohnald has left you with no other options... he won't listen to reason when it comes to getting back your delegates. Dohnald must be killed, but how..
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>>426634
Easy, we need to do a copycat killing... Like the zodiac killer.
Oh, also call up Mitt Romney and see if he wants to help.
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>>426634
Summon some skeledelegates in order to match your enemy.
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>>426667
Of course, it was so obvious... You quickly call up your good pal Mitt and tell him you need his help. He says he'll be there on his private jet in thirty minutes. The question is how do you zodiac kill someone like Dohnald, the RNC is currently going on and he's going to be there soon.
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>>426699
Consult Jeb! and the Guac for a fresh perspective.
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As I, Ted Cruz, leaned back on my black fouton couch, currently in bed position, and laughing at fresh prince vhs, I hear a snicker behind me. As I turn around I see a little frail man, causing me to teetee a little in my breifs. After I regain composure I realize this little frail youngling is in a very nice suit. I shake his hand and remember this is Paul Ryan.
"Romney sent me with a message. He says that you have to promise him you'll help extinguish Bern after this whole Dohnold situation is fixed." He looks at me straight in the eyes, waiting. "Also Herman Caine said you aren't invited to game night this week."
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"Also Romney Ryan has 20 men. 6 of those men are elite trained seal team men that can do some independent contracting. The rest are just sellsuits."
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Hire your private underage prostitudes to dress as waiters and to poison DOHNALD in the Trump Tower.
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>>426703
You drive to the dirty back alley where Jeb lives and find him laying there in a mess, he's really let himself go.
>Jeb, I must know how to defeat the Dohnald
Oh hello Ted! To find such answers we would need to ask the mystic guac bowle. It costs $75 dollars though...
You hand $75 to Jeb and he pulls out a guacamole bowl filled with guacamole
Guac, how do we defeat Donald and take back the delegates!
The guacamole in the bowl starts to stir around and inside it you see the image of Trump's plane crashing, most likely with no survivors.
>That's how I'll kill Dohnald! I'll crash his plane and the delegates will be mine!
You return to your house where you see Mitt Romney's private jet perfectly landed in your front yard. Now that Mitt is here we can carry out this master plan for sure. What to do next...
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>>426713
Get caught by the Donald
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>>426713
Make a ritual sacrifice of one of your prostitutes to the alter of true conservative values you keep in your bathroom to ensure success.
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>>426788
While stabbing aChristianVoodoo Doll with Donald Trump's face
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>>426713
Equip mitts jet with morman machine guns and heathen seeking missels. Then go on the hunt.
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>>427143
And agree to help mitt with Bernie (lie) + 2 "lyin ted" bonus
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>>426725
In a matter of seconds you quickly formulate a complex plan in your head. The first step, of course, would be to get caught. To do this, you would need to get Mitt to pretend to be on Trump's side, and have him take you to him. You would also need Dr. Carson. You get two of the few delegates you have to act as prisoners along side of you. You load everyone into your Jeep and put bags on you and the two delegate's heads, and have Mitt drive you to meet up with Trump where his plane has landed. Your plan is to act like Ben Carson has decided to give the measly 7 bound delegates he owns over to Trump... but it will be Trump who will be handing over the delegates in the end!
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>>429674
Dr. Carson, I'm Donald Trump.
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>>429694
Get vaporized by the power of trump
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>>429694
Bring your friends
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>>429694
Explain that the people with you work with the man, the Canadian, the Ratman.
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>>429694
Tell him you'd fuck a rat if it wasn't Donald Trump.
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Thread images: 8