poorly drawn quest

Wangmaster

>>394102
The Gentle Gentleman

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>>394200
You never knew why your parents have cursed you with this name, but it definitely has had an effect on your life

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>>394236
Depressingly funny names aside, it has been your life long dream to amass loads of money, and it finally time to realize your dream. How will you go about gaining a fortune?

>>394255
Let's rob a train

>>394281
Search for those who are inferior to you, and make them your servants - even if it means dominating them.

We gon' be kingz.

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>>394281
>>394299
While these plans will surely make you rich beyond belief, it would be impossible to pull them off without ample resources

Roll for what you find in this random chest
01-25: shit
26-50: not great
51-75: ok
76-00: excellent

>>394335
roll

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>394335

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>394335

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>>394390
>>394387
>>394347
Congrats, you have found a rusty combat knife. As you can imagine that may not be the best tool to pull off a heist and become a king. What's your next plan of action?

>>394399
Let's go leg stab the nearest person that is inferior to us to assert our dominance

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>>394413
The nearest person is your mother

>>394451
Is she inferior to us?

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>>394480
That's up for you to decide

>>394399
Ironically, this is actually ridiculously useful. We can threaten with tetanus.

>>394451
This: >>394480

>>394499
yes she is stab her

>>394499

In that case, don't. Besides, we can just take the Cartmen route with her.

Instead, look for someone else.

>>394512

Besides: anyone who would so willingly dub a kickass kid Wangmaster deserves some praise.

>>394512
Seconded

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>>394512
>>394521
>>394524
You decide to refrain from shanking your own mother and leaver to her TV watching. Time to find a new target

>>394548
Are you in a situation where your mom is okay with you going outside by yourself? Or are you some kid?

Shank yourself

>>394548
Run outside and look for another possible target

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>>394556
You are a young adult, so your mom doesn't really care as long as you refrain from doing stupid things

>>394575

This: >>394566
But don't run. Just walk.

Oh, and tell mom you're going out for a bit. And don't be a dumbass; fucking be discreet about the fact you have a knife with you.

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>>394591
>>394566
Outside you see nick, a kid from your school who kinda sorta picks on you due to your name, and a hobo who seems to have fallen asleep on a street light. Nick is taking pictures of the hobo. Are either of these individuals good targets?

>>394605

The hobo might do, but I don't think legitimately using the knife should be necessary. More likely, it should remain a tool for threatening.

However, that guy is sleeping. Instead, let's chum up with Nick. See if he doesn't wanna hang with us or something. Maybe he can be our personal guard or a general. Or hell, even strategist if he's smart enough.

Remember: dominate, not fucking massacre. We're tryna be kangz, not bloody fookin Dictators.

>>394605
Stab Nick, he seems like a douche

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>>394619
"Screw off faggot" Nick retorts. Nick may be a challenge to befriend

>>394623
Statement stands

Slit his fucking throat and watch the life slowly fade out of him! Then stab the hobo in the face repeatedly just incase he isn't sleeping.

>>394661
Eyyy, whatever happened to being King? We can't rule shit if all our potential servants are dead!

>>394666
Welp, guess we're the king of hell now

>>394666
Okay we can take them home and chop them up and sell the parts for some cash?

>>394679
I don't think we should. He has a phone; no one just buys phones these days, he was given one. That means someone appreciates his existence. That also means people will look for him.

I say we shouldn't. Put him on the list tho.

>>394634
>>394692

On second thought, inform him that for his crime, he must choose to either become our servant or be damned with tetanus as well as a lack of phone.

we should wake up the hobo and tell him that nick took photos of him

>>394711

This.

My mind is on a changing spree today. These spur of events have got me all befuzzled.

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>>394692
>>394698
He's willing to submit. What are your demands?

>>394730
your hat

>>394730
Sign eldritch runes of enslavement on his hand at home using a normal knife

>>394730

For offending the king, he is to offer you his phone if he hopes to repent his crime of dubbing you a faggot.

If he does give us his phone, congratulate him by promoting him to officer. Then, tell him that he is to assist you in obtaining more fitting warriors into your ranks.

we want his phone

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>>394738
>>394743
>>394740
>>394744
After taking possession of his hat, phone and marking him with the eldritch rune of enslavement, you tell him to recruit more followers. Shits looking good senpai

>>394770
Let's use our runes to summon eldritch horrors to rob banks for use

We should call mom because we are young still and should check in from time to time.

>>394770
See if we can't pick up a babe. Our hat should add additional points to our swagger, and should probably give us an easier time picking up girls.

We need ourselves a fitting queen. One that respects our goals of being a fair king.

Oh, and clear his phone of the proper unnecessary stuff so it can actually start being YOUR phone.

>>394780
This too.

>>394777
Why the fuck would we wanna use alien things to conquer the world, when we can do it in a more official and less cowardice fashion and do it sheerly by ourselves?

Hell, why did we even need to care about this eldritch bullshit? We need only sheer persuasion to win people to our side, not magic hoohaa.

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>>394777
Gor-nogith says no

>>394780
>>394786
And your mum tells you to be home by 10

>>394801
Fine no eldritch horrors. But our only servant is not loyal to us the signs of enslavement is needed to keep the cops off our asses. We can still persuade him to be our friend.

>>394810

Very well.

>>394809
What time is it?

Also, I still stand on doing that other stuff I mentioned, like clearing the phone of non-photo stuff that makes the phone not entirely yours; we need to personalize our new phone.

Oh, and we need a queen. No, don't make mom the queen.

>>394809
Thank gor-nogith for his help tell mom we love her

we should fake a crime with the hobo and when the cops show up give them the enslaving mark so we have some armed bad asses ready to help.

>>394839
I don't think we should do that. Yet.

Maybe when we train ourselves a bit, we can do riskier things like that.

>>394820
The phone has been cleared and the time is 8:00

>>394851
Where is the nearest location that we can recruit ourselves a queen, and if we go there, will we have enough time to make it back by - at most - 7 minutes after 10?

>>394844
Come to think of it I agree with this.

ponder what we do next . *tummy rumbles*

>>394856
>>394860
There is a burger joint a couple blocks away where your friend zoey works

>>394863
Let's go get a bite to eat and try a peaceful approach to Zoey.....

If it doesn't work we should enslave her and force her to be the queen!

>>394863
Two questions then.

1) Is she hot?
2) Is she smart? Or at least, in what ways is she smart?

Nonetheless, go there. Worst case scenario, we can make her another officer.

>>394863
Mabey she would be a queen suitable for use if not a concubine

>>394876
Only if she's hot.

Otherwise, officer.

>>394883
Yeah if she smart loyal and hot she queen,if she's just hot concubine,if she's just loyal officer. Also can we check in on nick using eldritch powers?

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>>394892
Can we kindly keep the Eldritch shenanigans to a minimum? Eldritch beings are not known for their trustworthiness, and can highly likely fuck us over, mate.

>>394883
If she is borderline hot we can still make a son with her but keep her an officer ...

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>>394874
Zoey looks pissed, but she usually is. She is somewhat attractive, and pretty smart. "What do you want?" She asks

>>394903
Okay. Still since we're bonded with Nate and he isn't the most trust worthy guy we should check in on him using our bond

>>394910
Order food. Start using natural charms to win her over.

>>394910
Eh. I guess she can do. Pigtail's gotta go in the future tho.

Do we have any money on us? That is, enough money to order something? If we do, get something simple. Regardless, see if we can't hit on her. If possible, also see if we can't get her number. Women aren't the most voluntary to be converted.

Maybe when we've massed a reasonable number can we persuade her to be queen.

>>394918
Basically, this.
But if possible, we should probably make very vague tests on her to see if she is capable of some shape or form of loyalty.

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>>394912
>>394892
Using totally non-eldritch powers, you see nick mourning the loss of his hat

>>394932
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! our hat

>>394932
Oh wait it's nick. Send him a message that if he's able to find good servants well give him his hat back

>>394932

You heard me from before.

But when we're done, go check on Nick.

If it comes to it, we can offer him a preposition: He will be rewarded his hat if he can manage to recruit three warriors.

>>394918
>>394925
You order a triple bacon burger with cheese, and it is delicious. Zoey tells you that you'll die of a heart attack one day due to eating food like that

Roll for charming her
01-25: catastrophic failure
26-50: failure
51-75: mild success
76-00: holy shit you're smooth

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>>394960
Forgot image

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>394960

>>394966
New queen confirmed

>>394966
Dude, you da bes. Thank you.

>>394966
All hail the great one!

>>394960
we should call mom and see if she is okay with a sleep over so we can scheme with our new queen!

>>394994
Great idea! Do that.

But we should also tell Nick about our preposition. Hell, we can prolly give him the burger too if it'll help.

>>395004
yes! feed the scum! because tomorrow..... tomorrow we go for the world!!! :D

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>>394966
Despite chewing on a huge ass burger, you manage to charm zoey. "Hey wangmaster, you wanna see a movie tomorrow?"
>>394994
Mum says no on the sleepover

>>395012
We should go with her despite being super busy in the stages of world domination.

Damn she will pay for this!

>>395012
Sure. Now go whip nick into shape. Also tell him that if he succeeds at finding better fit servants well give his hat back

>>395012
>Yes.

Ask which movie though; either way, we're prolly gonna say yes anyways.

Did we get her number yet? If not, ask if we can get her number so we can call her about stuff; y'know, so that if there so happens to be shit that gets in the way of plans, we can quickly let her know so that our absence isn't as much of a pain.

And it's a shame we ate that burger. Still, offer the preposition to Nick.

>>395020
>>395021
It's hard to call Nick when you took his phone
>>395021
And Zoey gives you her number

>>395029
Tell Zoey we'll see her later.

Did our connection thing tell us his location? If so, find him, THEN tell him the preposition.

If not.... Fucking fine, we can contact him via the damn eldritch shit.

>>395029
At this point we should head home. We don't want mom angry with now do we? Besides she has already let us down once, it will be unfortunate to have her upset us twice.

>>395036
Nick is at his house

>>395044
tell him to deliver us a pizza. and when he gets to our house, do ALL that we can in our power to make him a WILLING servant, instead of our slave.

>>395054
Mom said no one can come over ....

>>395038
Once? Whaddaya mean? She hasn't yet. Besides, it's okay to be the tiniest bit late; as much as it's not the best thing, we're humans. We can forgive someone being, like, 7 minutes late or something.

>>395044
If we have the time, see if we can't visit him without running out of time. Otherwise, there's always tomorrow.

>>395066
She wouldn't let our queen over she is a traitor in my eyes she should love her queen!

>>395066
Nicks house is right next door, so you have plenty of time

>>395084
Not our queen yet besides she's the mother of th glorious king while it's a bit rude we still love her like any child would love there mother

>>395097
Precisely.

>>395093
Then you heard me. See if we can't talk to him quickly. Inform him of our preposition. If he is capable of finding three capable warriors, we will grant him his hat.

While at it, >>395054
If his parent's presence is lacking to the point where we can do this, then do what we can to alter his mind, that he may regard us as a best friend rather than some abuser of sorts.

Or at least, get rid of his regard of us as a faggot.

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>>395102
Nick answers the door, and upon hearing your offer he accepts. He actually offers to double that number. "Just 3? Bro I can double that shit".

>>395112
now that nick is ready to do that, we should prepare for our date by reading strategic material online

>>395112
Inform him that if he succeeds, we will see about possibly promoting him. Compliment his loyalty.

>>395119
If we have the time, do this.

If we don't have a computer, then just use our phone to access the internet.

>>395112
btw, do we know what Zoey's hobbies are? Don't get me wrong, I think she's fine Queen material so far. But I think we need to know her talents, that we may know what she can and can't do.

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>>395136
She's into skating, fishing, and reading. Those are her 3 main interests

>>395124
>>395119
Upon arriving home, your father greets you. "So, my boy, I heard you have a date tomorrow. I believe this will be of use to you". He then hands you a book titled "how to be a gentleman"

>>395161
Ask your father about primier fishing tips and talking points.

>>395161
"Thanks, dad! You are seriously the best!"

>>395171
This too.

>>395161
start browsing /lit/ and /out/ and learn all about her hobbies. attempt to read a short piece of literature (siddhartha or the great gatsby or soemthing) so you can talk to her about it tomorrow

>>395176
I also approve of this greatly. Do this after gaining info from dad.

But respect our father's gift, and see if we can't manage time to read the book tomorrow.

>>395190
Don't forget to hug dad. Family is awesome.

>>395171
He tells you the biggest trick to fishing is overcompensation. "Make up stories about shit you caught"

>>395193
>>395174
"I know". He hugs you

>>395176
>>395190
You find legitimate fishing advice, and reviews on famous literature

>>395216
I presume you say this because of it being practically bedtime now.

Then we should brush our teeth and go to sleep like the good peeps we are.

Oh yah: are we still in school or something? If so, do we have school tomorrow?
Regardless of the case, do we have a backpack or bag to carry our stuff? It'd be nice to read while going places.

Speaking of sleeping, it's about time I slept too. See you guys tomorrow!

>>395216
I say no one can stop us on our road to dominance. Let's sneak out tonight and mark the unsuspecting into servitude.

>>395249
Can we kindly not? Firstly, forcing people to serve via eldritch markings is not something I'm keen on, since we shouldn't rely in the eldritch for power. We're men. We can win by ourselves. Besides, threats with tetanus should suit just fine.

Plus, we love our family. Last thing we wanna do is get on their bad side. Don't sneak out.

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>>395258
Unlimited power, my friend

>>395278
If we want power so goddamn much, then we can look up online about how to earn some fucking arcane magic prowess later, okay?

Minimize all potential risks.

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Op is awoken and he has had his morning intake of coffee and coke

>>395995
Mornin'!

Still stand by what I said.

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>>395995
Oh hey there, fella.
I think you know what we need to do

>>396038
Why do you want mankind to be enslaved in the process of obtaining unlimited power?

Serving someone does not make you stronger than them. It's seriously the opposite. HUMANS must be the dominant one.

Furthermore, let the objective of our Empire (Yes, empire. I plan on making us an Emperor) should be to unite all white humans against the foes of man, like those traitorsome eldritch beings. Oh, and when we're strong enough, we should cull all niggers, burgers, and shitskins.

As a matter of fact, our approach to obtaining magical prowess should be in a fashion in which we serve nothing; we produce the magic all by ourselves, with no help from any deities or spirits.

Man shall prosper, and conquer all.

>>396046
This: >>394299

>>396070
Where ever in that statement did I say "slave ourselves to the eldritch gods"?

As a matter of fact - presuming we ever get so far - I wanna make Gor-nogith our bitch. And TAKE from him his powers, rather than have him GIVE us his powers.

Eldritch beings are the most fickle fucks ever. Even more fickle than humans. There is no such thing as being careful with them; show so much as a single strand of vulnerability, and they will abuse you in the worst ways possible.

They're literally worse than Jews.

Oh, and cull Jews in the future too.

>>395225
There is no school tomorrow, for tomorrow is Saturday. But in the meantime, it is getting late, and all emperors in waiting need plenty of sleep. So shall you rest for the night, or will you sneak out?

Dubs decides

>>396109
SLEEP.

Also, why not have rolls or Group Votes decide? I feel those are much more reasonable.

>>396111
Well, as one can tell I'm pretty new to hosting a quest. I'd rather have rolls be for a successful an action is, but group votes is good. I'll go with majority rules from this point forward

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>>396111
But alas, you decide to rest. Your dreams are filled with nightmares and visions of the eventual death of humanity thanks to your previous dealings with eldritch beings. Other than that, you slept well

>>396134
Should text Zoey to confirm them date deets as soon as we awaken.

Alright guys. Having taken a good bit of thought on all of this stuff, I have come up with a list of things we need to get accomplished. I might need help figuring out which ones to prioritize the most, but otherwise I think I know what we should do.

1) Get more men.
1.5) Promote us (and our queen if we've won her) to Emperor and Empress, while promoting a couple of guys to Kings and Queens so that it doesn't feel too selfish.

2) Make Zoey our waifu/queen/Empress

3) Create magic; specifically, develop our own method of producing magic that does not involve making us slaves/servants to things.

4) Learn/read stuff about skating, fishing, and our How To Be A Gentleman book.

5) Learn how to do better at being a leader, as well as persuading people to join our service.

6) Get everyone uniforms.

7) Get us some kickass clothes so we can look cool to all our friends.

8) Begin Crusade.

Once again: figuring out what to prioritize would help me a lot.

>>396134
>>396138
Do this.
Also, daily routine; eat breakfast, shower, and brush teeth. We must make ourselves the perfect example to follow. No one will like us if we're filthy pigs.

>>396134
Let's go power up our dagger with the souls of the inferior to impress zoey

>>396151
Maybe in the future, when we not only obtain magical prowess, but are also able to handle petite eldritch beings.

Until then, we have bigger things to worry about.

>>396173
I think having a badass power dagger should be a priority to intimidate people and make us a total ladies man

>>396191
And I think that - as much as that is a totally awesome idea and all - we need to prioritize having the physical, mental, AND magical capabilities necessary to upgrade our rusty combat knife in the first place.

Otherwise, not only would attempting to do so would highly likely get us killed, but in the event that we succeed, we'd be giving off a vibe of compensating for something. And that's not good.

Improve ourselves, THEN show off.

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>>396145
You do your daily routine

>>396138
Zoey confirms the date is still on, and that she'd like to see the new movie robo-shark 3: revengence. You also get a text from Nick. "Bro, I found a crew. Come by later to check them out"

>>396138
How the fuck can Nick text us, if we took his phone?

Ask Nick where we can meet him, and when.

And for the deets thing, we meant the time that we have to go to the movies.

oh, and what time is it? I presume it's 6 or 7 A.M.?

>>396224
Let's do a power ritual on our dagger and cross our fingers that it becomes infused with arcane powers. Then go lead the crew with our sweet dagger

>>396227
It's 8am. Nick used a friends phone to text you being as how he remembered his old phones number. He wants to meet around 3pm and the movies at 8pm

>>396233
Dude, we have yet to seriously develop any magical powers. Doing any 'ritual' now would likely just get intercepted by some eldritch forces. And that's counter-intuitive.

>>396239
LETS PLAY POKEMON GO!

>>396241
That's why we cross out fingers while we do it

>>396250
I'll second this tho.

Install Pokemon Go on our phone. That way, we have a better excuse to go outside.

>>396265
Crossing fingers is no different than praying or doing nothing to the eldritch. Submission is all the same in their eyes.

>>396266
Right but we're doing an arcane ritual, not an eldritch one

>>396298
How can we do an arcane ritual if we know jack shit about arcane stuff?

And what if it conjures some Arcane God or Spirit that wants us to do things for it? We shouldn't serve ANYTHING.

We have to develop our own means of making magic first. A kind of arcane magic that is purely man-made.

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>>396233
>>396298
Using our knowledge of eldri- I mean arcane rituals, we enchant our dagger. It loses the ability of tetanus, but gains soul trap

>>396266
>>396250
You found a pikachu

>>396305
We know jack shit about any kind of magic, doing a ritual is just as risky as making our own if that's even possible, and doing rituals is way more fun than learning

>>396320
Well, now that we've pointlessly enchanted out dagger - since we shouldn't dabble with enemies right now until we are a formidable force - I suggest we take the time to actually read our dad's How To Be A Gentleman first before focusing on learning magic.

>>396320
HAHA nice, let's go to Nicks crew he found, and tell them to join us, and if they refuse, steal their souls.
Also let's name the pikachu something cool

>>396335
Aw heck dude you're right, we also should read the book and see if it tells us how to gain gentleman powers

>>396340
Noo nonononoono. You're going about this all wrong.

We're trying to BETTER man, not destroy all man's souls. If anything, we should give them a hearty speech about your goals as an empire, and how they will not regret their choice of you joining your cause.

If there are any niggers, jews. or nigger jews tho, THEN we can consider shanking.

>>396356
of joining your cause.*

Man. These times sure make me hasty as balls.

>>396361
>Search for those who are inferior to you, and make them your servants - even if it means dominating them.

>>396407
>even if

That means I don't wanna. But if we HAVE to, we should not be afraid to.

And to be fair, that was ideally just the first step to get things kicking. Nick seems reliable, so we don't have to focus so much on intimidation as much as persuasion.

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>>396356
>>396340
You walk to nicks house and he introduces you to his crew

Tyrone/black guy: his skills consists of fast running speed, and police evasion

Mike/scarf: he's good at hacking

Alex/unibrow: Russian komrade who is very strong

Austin/hair/bong: a stoner who's very charismatic

Joe/midget: he's a midget. He's good at hiding

And last, Nick himself: he has a good deal of finances

>>396447
Tell them to join us in our quest for power

>>396447
>Cleanse Nick's eldritch enslavement thingy.
>Reward Nick with his hat, and inform him that he has been promoted to Lieutenant. Also, tell him that he may take a break for the week if he wishes, but it'd be cool if he got more recruits.

>Tell the new recruits about how it is an honor to have them join your Empire.
>Proceed to boast about how these lands have been making themselves vulnerable to eldritch forces, and we must gather an appropriate mass by which to cease all worshippings of these foul creatures.
>Furthermore, preach about how we ought to improve the educational system by figuring out appropriate means that will help our teachers make learning more fun - as well as reduce unnecessary stuff like homework.

>Be really sure to not talk about the whole racial cleansing stuff.

>>396447
Maybe let's steal everyone's souls except nick and the midget and take their abilities

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>>396465
>>396470
You stand in front of your new crew, and prepare a speech. Roll for how rousing your speech is

01-25: no way they'll follow you
26-50: reluctantly they'll do what you say
51-75: they accept you as their leader
76-00: oh shit, they'll die for you

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>396604
How about no.

As much as Tyrone may have to be dealt with properly in a bit, we must make use of what we got. Emperors can't rule over dead kingdoms, mate.

I approve of potentially dubbing Joe and Nick our besties tho. Gonna have to dub Nick first though, since he's actually done stuff, while Joe has yet to officially prove loyalty.

>>396630
Rolling. Here's hoping for the best.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>396630

>>396661
Looks like a low rollerino to me, looks like they won't follow and won't be needing their souls

File: image.jpg (83KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>396638
They give unenthusiastic woos and clap meekly. Austin cheers tho. Nick says "hey, if we make money, well do what you say, I guess"

>>396661
>>396668
Good thing I rolled first. Their loyalty will be shaky, but we can probably fix that when we learn some arcane prowess, and teach them our techniques.

>Tell them we will return to this spot at the same time next Saturday, where you will tell them our first steps of action.

Afterwards, make our way to the movies while reading our Gentleman book. Be sure to stash it in your bag before meeting her, y'dingus.

>>396696
That might actually be a better circumstance.
>Tell them you'll see about providing them some cool means by which to make money next Saturday for sure.

>>396696
Let's have Tyrone fake mug us on our date, but then real kill him and steal his soul and ability, winning power and Zoeys heart

>>396730

Yeh, sure. But we have to do my thing as well.

>>396747
Actually I think op decides which actions we wind up taking

>>396789
Actually, I think the choice is up to us. Having OP decide everything for us would be lame. We can make our own damn decisions.

>>396798
Well we can do my action independent of yours, we don't HAVE to do both. Op decides if we do or not

>>396834
Either way, dad gave us the book for a reason; we have to read that shit before the date, one way or the other.

As a matter of fact, I wanted us to read it before visiting the guys because I don't think we can completely finish reading a book in five hours - and that's presuming all of the events that transpired between us and the crew was a total of 0 seconds.

File: chill bro, op won't purposely let you down.jpg (42KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>396798
Actually op is illustrating the actions who have chosen but trying to actually put effort into the illustration

>>396873
You have*

>>396875
Know what op? I think you're doing a damn fine job, keep up the good work

>>396873
>>396909
Wait. I was talking trash about the way OP was doing things?

I thought I was saying how we should keep it as it has been.

>>396909
Thx bro

>>396924
Nah, it's just that y'all were talking about what I was doing, so I tried to give a humorous answer. My bad if you got a negative vibe. Worry not, the next update is almost done

File: the Big date.jpg (99KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>396730
>>396747
You ask Tyrone to fake mug you after the movie so you "defend" her and score more points with her, and he accepts. You two go over some practice runs to make sure it goes off without a hitch

>>396704
>>396857
After the drills, it's about 7:30, so head off towards the cinema. On the way there you start reading how to be a gentleman. You get some lessons on how to treat a later and proper moustache care. You arrive at the theatre and you pocket the book,and you see her there. "Sup wangmaster, ready for the movie?"

>>397068
"Damn right babe let's watch this shit. But first, let me serenade you in this dark alley"

>>397095
kek

That's totally how we should do it.

I just wonder what we'll do with the body - especially with Zoey around.

Furthermore, if cops come, I don't know how we can keep our knife a secret.

>>397095
>>397117
Wait.

We told Tyrone to do this AFTER the movies. We should do the movies first then.

Sorry guys, but I gotta go, and I won't be able to update for at most two days. If thread dies, check my tumblr (cool-guy-cyan) for an update. Laters

>>397117
Self defense man, we're covered.

>>397149
Alright dude, thx

>>397149
Damn. Well in that case, hope things go well on your end!

You've actually been doing an a-ok job so far, OP.

Update today

>>404162
Praise the upd8s!

>>397147
Still stand by what I said.

File: oh shit, an update.jpg (80KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>397147
When we last left our determined hero, he was headed to the cinema to watch robo-shark 3: revengence with zoey, after that murder Tyrone to impress her

>>405510
And after*

>>405510
Wait, did she already get tickets? Or do we actually have to cough up some dough?

>>405888
She'll pay for the tickets

>>406106
Not very manly of us for her to pay for the movie. Buy all the fatty snacks for her when we get inside.

Test

>>406193
Agreed.

Either that, or we pay for the tickets for her. And the snacks.

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>>406193
Cause you're a gentleman you bought the snacks. You are currently in the lobby of a pretty cheap poorly drawn cinema. It looks shitty, but hey, at least there's a potted plant

>>406502
Then you rape her.

File: that edge.jpg (45KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406555
Ouch

>>406612
Kek willed it you fucking faggot, now draw it.

>>406699
At least enjoy the movie first before engaging in sexy fun times.

>>406555
>>406699
Trips and then Double Dubs...
Kek commands it!

>>406555
>>406699
I respect the trips and dubs n' shit, but I have a hunch this is gonna kill our political goals of becoming a king, if anyone finds out we raped someone.

>>406754
KEK COMMANDS IT!

>>406555
>>406699
>>406733
>>406773
except don't tho

>>406502
I say we talk about stuff along the way. Should we ask her about her thoughts on Pokemon Go?

Oh, and joke about how that is one sexy plant.

>>406773
SOMETIMES, KEK MIGHT NOT BE THE WISEST MAN. JESUS CHRIST, MAN, AT LEAST HAVE THE DIGNITY OF SAVING THE RAPE FOR AFTERWE'VE MADE HER QUEEN.

File: fuck my life.jpg (67KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406699
>>406733
>>406773
The potted plant provided the perfect place to enact rape for it was large and hid the whole. Op will commit suicide

>>406791
yo he went

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>>406791
Op then turns back time to before the rape to get the thread back on track

>>406805
But then kek commands rape again.

>>406808
The blessing of trips have left you, and thus you hath no power

>>406808
but the future refused to change

File: 1468469623216.gif (212KB, 501x585px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406828
But then it did change because Jehovah came in and the kikes demanded rape or he'd sue.

>>406808
How about no. Rape now will destroy any and all chances of us becoming an Emperor. If we want to so damn much, we can wait until our empire has grown sufficiently to the point where it won't matter.

But that time is not now.

>>406502
Talk about things on the way to the seats, such as her thoughts on Pokemon Go, as well as some famous literature (since we know about that stuff).

File: 1469246789903.gif (9KB, 271x214px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406808
>>406828
>>406838
3 palis in a row, it's a miracle goy!

Kek had spoken. Thus, It shall be answered...
The Quest must go on however.
This is Simple Quest! Not Rape Quest!
So, in order to sate the hunger masses. I shall forge porn!

File: zieg hiel.jpg (43KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406838
>>406848
Op listens to no kikes

>>406859
Let there be underaged porn! Bcuz we're all apparently 16 or something

remember that time we were gonna watch a movie?

>>406910
Remember when there weren't folks derailing the thread?

>>406927
vaugely

File: tegaki.png (8KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

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>>406874
Let this be a counter-shoah. OP gets raped.

>>406949
And you thought OP was a shit artist

but actually lets go
please

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>>406949
Technically this is fanart, so thanks for fueling my narcissism

>>407007
I'd rather wait out the storm. Eventually he'll lose patience and find a better target for his kike antics

>>407028
Can we just continue? We agreed a while back that we wouldn't let dubs/trips/etc. decide, but Group Vote.

>>407068
+1
this dudes alright

File: For the Trips and Double Dubs.png (21KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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Gentlemen.
Kek has granted Trips and Double Dubs so I must fulfill my end of the bargain...
Behold! Non Canon Fan Art!

>>407108
>Going for anal
Too grossed out to enjoy this

>>407108
0/10 not enough vaginal

are the kikes gone?

>>407267
If they come again, just stick to thread rules; they can't get shit if they don't get Majority Vote.

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>>407068
>>407086
Alright mates, so you finally managed to see the movie. You personally didn't find it scary, barring a scene with a fat guy in short shorts, but zoey had to look away and nuzzle into you several times. The movie ended on a twist ended regarding the shark's robot eye flickering on. After the movie you head outside to enact the plan with tyrone

>>407108
This actually looks like you put effort into this. Which makes me happy that I inspired art, but sad that the art is better than my own. So thanks pal

>>407276
NOW for the serenading; >>397095

>>407276
we've got to make a decision.
do we actually kill tyrone or not

>>407305
I thought we agreed that we would. I mean, unless you have a reasonable explanation for why we shouldn't take our first step in cleansing this world of all inferior races.

Only reason I would consider not doing so is because I wanna disenchant the dagger's eldritch enchantment for a more arcane one in the future, so that Tyrone's soul is guaranteed to not be sent to some dark-ass forces.

>>407276
>>407305
Tyrone is a Bro.
I say we don't kill him and stick with the plan.

File: choices.jpg (51KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

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>>407326
>>407332
Keep in mind there are pluses and drawbacks to both decisions. We need total agreement before a choice is made

>>407326
but would Zoey be impressed, or more like "oh shit you're a murderer"?

>>407357
Fine.
>Don't kill him.

Maybe in the future, we can use something of a more proper excuse to get rid of him. But until then, I guess we just stick to the plan.

Besides, I need that knife properly enchanted. But not before we appropriately learn about how to develop our own man-made arcane magic. After all, we could use this as a means to make our men swear loyalty. Offer them the opportunity of gaining wealth as magical performers.

>>407365
Self-Defense.

>>407357
>Don't kill him
But he'll be the first to go when we fight eldritch Nazi demons from another dimension.

>>407374
>>407399
>Don't kill him
im fine with these

>>407357
He can run fast and avoid cops.
That is a big requirement when it comes to taking over the world.

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>>407409
>>407399
>>407374
Many thoughts and ideas flow through your head, but there is one single overlaying thought that sticks with you. Spare Tyrone. Regardless of your reasoning, you've deemed it necessary to spare him, at least for this night

>>407490
I have no idea why I put the spoiler

>>2

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>>407490
You take Zoey into an alley, and wait for Tyrone to arrive to stage the mugging. It's been 10 minutes since you first arrived in the alley with Zoey. You think about texting Tyrone but you don't know his number, assuming he owns a phone

>>407545
>>407295
now for the serenading for realsies

File: it's time.jpg (44KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>407545
You're about to serenade Zoey when you see a shadow at the end of the alleyway, and there you see a hooded figure. "Hey wangmaster, I don't like the look of that guy" whispers zoey. "Should we just leave?"

>>407605
>it's time

>>407605
Wait a second. I don't remember Tyrone having that sweater....

Whatever.

>>407632
>It's Show Time.

>>407643
>Keep a good eye on your knife tho

>>407643
it's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

File: it's time.jpg (55KB, 1440x1920px) Image search: [Google]

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>>407632
>>407643
The figure makes no move towards you. They just stand there. The air feels thick, and somwhere you hear a low drone. "Seriously, this dude is giving me the creeps. Can't we just get outta here?" Asks zoey

Your phone vibrates

>>407691
ah shit
check it

>>407691
>Answer it, but keep an eye on him.

>Also, keep a good hand on your knife.

>>407699
>>407705
It's a text from a number you don't know
"Hey it's Tyrone. I'm runnin late so stall for a couple minutes. K?"

>>407705
You know what? Screw it. Don't answer. That might vaguely give things away to Zoey.

"Yeah, we should totally leave. Serenades in dark alleys aren't as cool as I thought they'd be..."

>If that guy so much as makes a move on you, stab his ass.

>Also, hope to fuck you silenced your phone.

>>407714
yo Tyrone's fucked up
get that knife ready

>>407714

Follow everything past the "don't answer" part of >>407721

Here's hoping this guy's some cultist.

>>407743
i don't think cultists have hoodie pockets

>>407757
Cultists can wear the same damn clothes as you n' I, bud. I mean, look at us at the start. We didn't wear shit, and WE were all running around trying to give peeps eldritch shenanigans.

Don't judge a book by the cover, bruh.

>>407778
sorry dude
i was just tryna make a goof

>>407714
On another note:

Fuuuuuuuck, you mean Tyrone has a phone AND our number? Demote Nick to Officer when we find him again.

Also, demote Tyrone to Worker for his lack of promise.

File: It̴͇'͚̙͝s̷̗ ͎͍͕͍͍̟͈t̀i̱̝͉͍ṃ̠͈̺͖e̙̮͎.jpg (42KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>407728
You ready the knife in your pocket. The figure moves every now and then, but only in small spasms. "Okay, we can totally leave right about now" Zoey says nervously

>>407821

>>407743
Statement still stands.

>>407848
+1
yup

>>407848
>>407858
You inch towards the exit of the alleyway, and towards the figure. As you get closer, the low drone gets louder. The figures takes a step forward

>>407871
>"Yo dude, you're kinda in the way and being creepy. Could you maybe, like, buzz off or something? That would be real nice."

>>407885
It walks forward more

>>407900
>it
ready the knife really really hard

>>407900
>Get that fookin nife ready m8

>Inform that fuckwad to quite frankly fuck off.

>>407925
^^^^^^^^^^This.

>>407900
Turn 360 degrees and alk away

>>407925
DO IT

>>407945
Slap on that hornet ring and riposte

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>407945
fookin hell, man. I honestly wish we trained more.

>>407945
don't get fucked up

>>407957
OAW SHEEIT. WE DOIN DIS.

Still think we need to learn stuff to make our rolls not like coinflips.

>>407971
He stabs at you, but you pull your blade out just in time to parry his own knife. Roll a 1d20 (if you get a 20 >>407925 becomes a reality)

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>408004
Hornet ring adds +10 stabby-ness

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>408004

>>408004
oh come on OP, I clearly rolled the 76+ necessary for the previous thing.

Oh well. >>408009 happened, so I guess it's not too big of a deal.

Still got some rustled jimmies over you dismissing muh good roll. >8I

>>408019
We have the most holy of Keks on our side.
No need to have russled jimmies.
I can make this gif even better in a bit before I head off to bed. Praise Kek.

File: horror cliche 101.jpg (75KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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>>408009
You thrust as hard as you can, and your blade cuts deep. But when you stabbed him, the force of the thrust pushed him back just enough for the hood to fall off. You wish it hadn't

>>408069
Left for a bit
Came back
Looks like someone. Else has eldritch powers and summoned a horror

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>408069
Stab more
like a lot more

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>408069
stab him in his big mouth hole

>>408069
Perfect position for a leg sweep, do it, then get out of dodge.

>>394740

>>408069
This, kids, is why we don't dick around with eldritch bullshit.

>>408085
Here's hopin'. Either that, or >>408089

Rolled 16 (1d100)

I reinforce the knife with fire magic

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>>408088
>>408085
You do that. It drops it's knife, but starts reaching its hands towards you

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>408142
Pull the knife out, roll behind, grab it's dropped knife and backstab it

>>408148
Hell yeah, this!

>>408148
yup

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>>408148
>>408152
>>408158
It's arms hang limp at its side and blood drips from its wounds. You believe you finally killed it

>>408193
Can't be too careful

Decapitate it

>>408193

This: >>408197
Then, stab it some more. Never such a thing as being too sure.

>>408197
>>408201
finish this creep ass dude

File: <insert laugh track>.jpg (76KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

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"Yo, what I miss"

>>408207
"Kind of in the middle of dealing with eldritch bullshit here, Tyrone."

>>408207
>>408215
>Keep stabbing it. Especially the head.

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>>408197
>>408201
>>408206
>>408220
It's mutilated body lies on the floor. "Hey boss, I think it's dead"

>>408251
"Tyrone, please"

I Burn the corpse

>>408257
You lack the material to start a fire

>>408261
Tyrone probably has a lighter

>>408257
With what? But nonetheless, I prioritize this. Otherwise,

>>408251
"Tyrone, your first lesson in how to deal with the eldritch is: There is no such thing as being too careful in making sure they're dead. Let this very important lesson vibrate through your mind."

>>408261
"Now, give me a lighter. I need to burn this thing."

"Hey, Zoe, you alright over there?"

>>408251
>>408273
But before we burn it, think we can take off its sweater? I kinda like it, and it prolly costs less to fix it than to burn it. If it still moves while you're trying to take it off, then just burn the damn cretin.

>>408273
>>408263
"Nigga, I ain't got a lighter" says Tyrone bluntly

>>408273
"Yep, just scarred for life" mutters Zoey

>>408284
Should we just hand Tyrone one of our knives and have him mutilate it to millions of pieces then?

Zoey seems like she needs to be escorted home with fucktons of snuggles.

>>408311
smooth af

File: Stab Stab Stab.gif (125KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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I have completed this thing.

>>408311
Tyrone groans. He takes the knife you got from the creature, and begins cutting it up, but not before you grab that sick sweatshirt.

And imma leave it off there. There may not be any updates tomorrow, but the day after these will be update for sure. Cya later bros

>>408323
And that is seriously dope as hell

>>408338
There will be*

>>408338
good fuckin job dude

>>408338
ya dun did good, OP. I'll always be craving for more!

>>408323
holy fuck dude, you're like the best Drawfag around!

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>>408311
With the thing being taken care of by Tyrone, you start to escort Zoey home. You try to give a fuckton of snuggles, but she is still phased by the thing that had attacked you.

>>409458
She should be totally impressed by now; profess your love.

>>409458
Console the Female.

>>409655
yeah, chicks dig that shit

File: Consoling in Progress.gif (13KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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Fanart of said possible consoling.

>>409655
>>409684
>>409697
The repeated face pats succeed in consoling Zoey. "Do you know what that thing was, or why it attacked you?" She asks

>>409786
Convince her that you and her are chosen to rule the world in a bountiful era of peace and harmony, but the dark forces in the world seek to prevent that at all costs. Your love is philosophized; why fight it? Join me Spiderman, and together we can rule this city.

>>409842
*prophesied, but the scholar will certainly look back and wonder in awe

>>409842
>>409853
She gives you a long, hard stare. Roll to see if she believes you.
01-25: she'll think you're insane and probably dump you (not guaranteed though)
26-50: she'll think you're insane, but stay with you
51-75: she'll take your words into consideration
76-00: she will wholeheartedly believe you

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>410118
whoops

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>410060

>>410124
>>410128
We average out at least?

>>410134
i hope i didn't fuck it up though

>>409786
Dagnabbit you guys, starting without me???

>>409842
Srsly, I always feel like I can't leave this thread for, like, 10 seconds without someone foolishly trying to fuck up literally everything we've been developing for.

We're Emperor-to-be with a noble goal of destroying all eldritch forces, not fucking lunatics. We should have merely told her

>"Ey, you know that creepy-as-fuck thing earlier? I've been trying to start a group thing to figure out how to properly fight against those. Well, okay, it's actually more like an empire where I am the one true Emperor to guide us, but still. I didn't want you involved in any of this, but I fear that I may have somehow done such.

>"I really didn't wanna ask until we were at least 18, but... how about you help fight alongside me as Empress?"

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>>410124 put you in danger, but thanks to >>411118 and >>410128 you saved yourself. "That sounds pretty weird, but I trust you wangmaster"

>>411118
I mean, we're trying to amass wealth and power via a rusty knife, we fucked with eldrich horrors, and we nearly stabbed Dindu to death. Seems pretty crazy to me.

>>411394
We gotta meet up with the crew after we finish the date, so we can affirm how bad ass we are after killing the thing. We also gotta watch out for our bed time, or else mom will ruin every thing we've worked for.

>>411570
But didn't we schedule that for next Saturday?

We can wait to tell them. Besides, Tyrone will prolly just tell them anyways.

But yah:

>After seeing her safely home, see about scheduling another date or something. Regardless, go home.

We need to get started on developing arcane magic soon.

>>411599
im for this

>>411599
>>411615
After you two arrive at her house, you ask about another date. "I don't know. I only have Saturdays off. I'll look into getting a day off though". Your chat is cut off by the sound of Zoey's father yelling. "Hurry up an' quit talkin' wit that boy, and get in ere!". She makes her way inside but not before giving you a kiss on the cheek

>>411645
When the door closes,

>le victorious SCORE! pose

Then get dafuq back home and go to sleep.

>>411645
Should we use eldritch magic to summon something to kill her parents and attack her, but we save her scoring massive points and traumatizing her to the point of emotional reliance?

>>411658
At this point in time, you're saying this because you know saying that makes my jimmies rustle. Fuck you.

No.

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>>411658
Gor-nogith supports this idea

>>411676
Gor-nogith gets shanked if this idea falls through