The Hobo Quest

>>370048

Male

Alexander Kittson

>>370059
+1

Male
Jason Slade

>>370059
>>370063
Ok, since this is the beginning I'll try to go fast, to attract more people.

Your name is Alexander Kittson and you're "living" in the streets of...

>>370094
Portland

>>370098
seconded

>>370094
I guess Portland

>>370098

Just confirming Oregon?

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>>370098
>>370106
>>370108
>>370117
Life isn't easy in Portland, especially in your case. You try to forget how you ended up in this situation, but no matter what, it always comes back to haunt you...
How did you end up in the streets, when did it happen and how old are you?

>>370124

We were 11 when our father lost his job due to an injury at work, we floated for a while in motels off of his Workers Comp money but when that ran out there wasn't anywhere left to turn. Our mother was already out of the picture (she was mentally ill, we worry that we picked some of that up). Our father did his best to make sure we were in school but we ended up dropping out at 16 and we're say 17 now

>>370136
Are we fresh on the street?

>>370147

I would say tent living while our father tried to keep us in school, now we've split from him since we dropped out and we're on our own for the first time. Course right after that decision might be the best place to start the story

>>370161
I can get behind that

>>370167

Would you say 16 or 17 as far as when we split?

>>370173
17 if we have to do something morally ambiguous we might skirt punishment for being too young or whatever

>>370186

I like it, sound good OP?

>>370136
>>370167
Your only belongings are a really bad quality tent, some average clothes you carry in a plastic bag, and a paper cup to beg.
You just woke up from a terrible nightmare, you can't exactly recall what it was about but you're pretty sure your father was in it. Now that you're awake, you realize how terrible sleeping in this tent is since you've got no mattress or sleeping bag. Your back and your neck hurt. You don't have a watch so you can't be too sure what time it is, but everything is dark outside.
What should you do?

>>370221
Skip to the homeless shelter. Be jolly. May aswell be as jolly as can be.

>>370221
Steal something

Rob someone-
Let's start off in poor houses to get a feel for how to do it right

But first
>walmart shopping cart

>>370233
Should you leave your belongings in your tent or carry everything with you (including the tent, which can fold inside itself) ?
>>370241
Where should you go to steal, and what do you want to steal?

>>370259
I'm going to wait for some votes.

>>370221

Pack up the tent and find a sturdy sack or bag. Best time to hit up recycling bins for their bottles is early morning, take the bottles to a return and get some money for the day

>>370259
Steal something out of the first unlocked car you find.

If you believe you are attracting suspicion go to a bad neighborhood and try to mug some woman

>>370271
Seconding this. Try to look through people's dumpsters and sell anything worthwhile to a pawnshop.


After that, go the local library and log on a computers. Google for guides on anything that can help us rob houses, lockpicking etc.

>>370281
Most libraries in cities require you to have a library card to log onto computers plus they probably wouldn't want a smelly bum in there.

>>370289
Oh. I don't know the US very well.


Can you still read books at the library without getting kicked out?

It would be healthy for Alexander to have a keen interest in >locksmithing.

>>370289

Depends on the one we go to, Multnomah County Libraries provide free internet access for anyone able to walk in but as a bum we're better off going to one of the smaller neighborhood ones and not the nice ones downtonw

>>370297
Fucked up the formatting.

>>370297

Definitely, plus Portland has one of the healthiest library systems in the country. The cost of the library card isn't rediculous either and should be one of our first investments we make when we have the spare cash

>>370301
This could work but we should run through the showers at a shelter or local ymca and steal clothes from goodwill before we go into an unknown neighborhood library.

Last thing we need is the cops coming to remove a vagrant from the premises

>>370301
Hm. Why wouldn't we go to one of the rich ones?

>>370315
>Last thing we need is the cops coming to remove a vagrant from the premises

I have no more need in explaining.

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>>370271
>>370281
You decide to get out of your tent, fold it and put it your plastic bag. You start roaming around in the dark streets of some shitty neighborhood until you find a few dumpsters in a badly lit alley. While you rummage through the trash you start thinking about easier ways to make money. Crime? Maybe. You think that the local library might have some interesting resources, even though you despise reading.
After a good half an hour of research, you have 7 bottles. Should you keep looking for bottles and other stuff, or go do something else ?Because libraries probably aren't open in the middle of the night.

>>370331
Look for more bottles and then go to the library.

>>370341
>go to the library
When the suns up.

>>370331
Well if it's still really late we could leave our bottles back at our tent site and find something heavy.

Once we do that circle the block to see if there is anything of value in a car

Smash and grab yo

>>370341
>>370344
So we should keep dumpster diving until morning?

>>370353
I think so, but I'm split. Maybe roll between me and >>370351 ?

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>370357
Ok, I'll roll. If it's evens, we try to steal from a car, if it's odds, we'll dumpster dive till the sun comes up.

>>370365

In addition to dumpster diving we should keep an eye out for recycling bins, particularly yellow boxes (the city of Portland is really into recycling) those are already filled with glass bottles that are good for returns.

(Source: the guy named Jerry who comes by our house late at night to go through our bin and pick out bottles, nice guy, apparently he can make up to 40 or 50 dollars on a good day)

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>>370365
>>370371
Odds, so we're going to dumpster dive for a few hours.
You keep searching through dumpsters and sometimes going from an alley to another. After a good while, you can see that the sky is starting to light up.
While you're looking for more bottles, you stumble upon a pizza box in a garbage bag. It has one slice left in it, but it doesn't look too good. Should you eat it?
You also notice out of the corner of your eye one of those yellow recycling boxes. And coming from the opposite direction, you can hear rap music.

>>370371
>40 or 50 dollars on a good day
Damn son I wanna be a hobo
Probably more entertaining than university

>>370382
Also, I forgot to say that you now have 22 bottles and it's getting increasingly hard to carry them all.

>>370382
Fill your bag with bottles, keep the pizza for guard dogs later on and investigate the music.

>>370390
You can fit 10 bottles and the pizza box in your bag, because it's already filled with your other clothes and the folded tent. You can carry 4 bottles under your other arm but you'll be forced to put them down on the floor if you want to do something.

>>370406

Dump out a grocery bag or something similar from the dumpster to help carry bottles in

>>370385

The good days aren't too often

Any special talents or interests we have developed significant knowlegde of? we have? Or are we just the average Joe?

>>370419
After a few minutes of looking around, you find a smaller plastic bag where you can fit the 22 bottles.

>>370428
For now we're only 17 and freshly dropped out, so we merely got a basic education.

Should we go investigate the rap music or wait for other votes/proposals?

>>370442

Let's go take a look at that rap music, see what's going on

>>370442

Would we be able to have any hobbies that we were good at in school?

>>370447
You decide to go towards the source of the rap music which is merely a few houses away. It's just three teenagers sitting on the sidewalk, they're probably around your age. There's two blacks and a white guy. They have one of those Bluetooth speakers they use to listen to rap music. They have an almost empty bottle of Cruzan and they're passing a joint around. They must have been there all night. They haven't noticed you yet.

>>370450
You remember that math classes are the only things that kept you in school all this time. You weren't exceptionally good at it, but you still sort of liked it.

>>370468

Approach them and say hi, ask if you can have the bottle when they're finished with it

Damn, not a lot of shit math can do on the street, course if we have a good grip on geometry we could aim for some carpentry work

>>370468
Just how drunk and stoned are they?

>>370487
They still look alright, but one of the black guys is really smashed, he's laying on his back and can't stop laughing.

I'm waiting for other votes/proposals.

>>370498
Try to persuade them to trade their Bluetooth speaker for the "mystery bag". Should we roll?

>>370513
"Mistery bag" ?

>>370521
The bag of bottles.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>370522
Ok, I'll roll. Evens we ask for the bottle, odds we try to trade the speaker.

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>>370529
You approach the three lads, trying to conceal the content of your small plastic bag. The white guy and the black guy turn to face you while the other black dude is still laughing.
"Hey, uhm, guys !
- Yeah? says the white dude looking at you with his bloodshot eyes.
- I can see you got a really nice speaker, and I've got a bag, filled with something that might interest you. Wanna trade?"
The two dudes share a look and say:
"What's inside?
-You can only know if you're willing to trade.

I'll roll to know if they trade or not. Evens and they trade, odds and they don't trade.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>370545
Shit, forgot to roll.

>>370547
"Yeah, why not, I hope it's weed !" Says the white guy, giggling at the absurdity of the situation.
He turns off the speaker and hands it to you while you hand him the plastic bag. He opens it and says : "What the fuck?! It's just bottles!"
What should our next course of action be?

>>370558
Just fucking run.

>>370558
>Run

>>370558

Yup dip on out of there

>>/out/ of there

>>370561
>>370567
>>370568
>>370571
You start dashing the fuck out of the place before the frozen brains of the teens can compute what's happening. They start chasing you while the laughing dude is coming back to his senses and trying to understand why his friends left him. They chase you down a few blocks but you manage to get them off your tail without raising too much attention. After making sure they aren't following you anymore, you notice that the sun is rising and that people are on their way to work. You also start getting hungry.

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Go into Trump's face book page. Fucking top kek.

>>370603

Let's go hit up a pawn shop that won't ask too many questions about where we got it. If they ask though just say dumpster diving, people throw away the craziest things

>>370603
Go to a soup kitchen. Get some nicer clothes and shower at some shelter and then pawn the speaker.

>>370610
this

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I just have to share this.

You also notice that the few hours you spent dumpster diving made you really, really smelly.

>>370607
>>370610
You try and look around for a homeless shelter. After asking a few people on the street, you figure out where it is. You decide to walk there, it takes you roughly half an hour to get there. Once you're there, you make sure to hide the speaker in your bag. You go in there and get a decent meal, and take a refreshing shower. You take another set of clothes in your bag and put them on, putting the smelly ones back in the bag.
After thanking the people working there, you go out into the streets and find the city fully active. After asking around once more, you figure out the location of a nearby pawn shop. It takes you 25 minutes to get there.
Can an American person explain how pawn shops work? I'm a frogperson and these don't exist in France as far as I know.

>>370625
Absolute madman

>>370625

Holy shit, is that him trying to get the Millennial vote or is he just pissed that has losing news coverage to the game

>>370640

Basically they're a legal fence, you bring them stuff to sell and they try to pay the least they can for it and then turn around to sell it for a mark up. The major advantage they have is that you can get cash quickly from them and you can actually find some really good deals when you go in

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>>370640
I think it is as easy as "Hey, I have stuff, here it is, give me money."

But I can't be sure, as I'm an ass fucked Swede

>>370647

Also one of the few places where haggling is acceptable practice, it's really only pawn shops, flea markets, and street fairs where you can haggle with the salesman

>>370647
>>370650
Okay thanks.

You enter the pawn shop, greeting the shopkeeper. You show him the speaker.
"I think I can give you... 250$ for it. Whaddya say?"

>>370660

"Yeah man, sounds good to me."

Also while we're here we should check out the supplies available here, get a better bag if we can. Save some of the money we make though (at least 50 dollars) and take it down to a credit union to open an account. We've got ID yeah?

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>>370667
You sell him the speaker and grab the 250$, you've never seen so much money in your whole life ! You look around the shop for a bag pack and notice this one, for 60$.

Yes we've got an ID but since we're only 17, isn't that a problem?

>>370686

That's a good backpack to have, snag it for ourselves

A little, we might have to forge our dad's signature and won't be able to apply for credit. But we should be good for a checking or savings account, 17 isn't far off at all

>>370686
In the US you can't get a banking account under 18 until having parent permissions.

Take the bag and haggle it down to $50. Also look if they have any clothes to buy.

>>370737
I second this. I suggest looking into the library. Some books on locksmithing, methods of persuasion and some books on math purely for fun.

Let's take the cash we got and throw some dice in an alley

>>370795
And throw away all our hard work? Who knows when such an opportunity appears again?

>>370686
Still there, OP?


This is actually one of the most entertaining Quests I've been participating in for a while.

>>370803
Aight aight, let's take the cash we got and throw it down at the tracks

>>370814

Trust me, the Portland Meadows are not a place you want to go to

>>370889
I don't think street kids really care about slummy places lad

>>371030

Eh, there's slummy safe and there's slummy dangerous, the Meadows is still mostly in the second category unless one of their monthly events are coming up

We should go to te library right?

>>371191
Me thinks so.

>>371191
Yes

Let's use some money to buy canned food.
Also, can we study offices (plumber, 4x) at the library?
Oh , and we can try to make a makeshift shiv with glass/tin and some tape, it may come in handy.
Don't die on me, OP! I've been looking around for a Hobo quest!

>>373031
Seconding; plumbers make good cash. Not before the backpack gets bought though.
Also don't want to see this die.

>>373031
Also we can alway buy a gun, but to do that we have to be at least 18. Live somewhere, and if you don't have a cc permit you can't take it with you in person.
But outside Portland the state's gunlaws are great. Better than commiecaif.
The best we can do is buy a pocket knife.less than a certain inch blade and we can carry that as long It's hidden and we don't bring it to no weapon zones. Government building, schools etc.
So we don't need to make a shiv. It's not like Europe laws.

I feel guilty by mugging, bros. I want to find a more legit way to earn money. Duping or pickpocketing maybe? At least no one gets hurt.

>>375757
We don't need mugging we need to keep going the mystery bag

>>375841
It's a dumb way to fool people. We have to think about something more cunning.

>>376323
We should buy a Zoot Suit and tell people to buy an "Extraordinary Invention". And when we get the cash, they're stuck with some junk sculpture that does nothing.

>>376783
We should make modern art. Draw a few lines that express our sadness beibg a hobo and the money will roll in. or we can build a fur suit and mug people while wearing it. :^)

>>376896
+1 to modern art

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>>376896
Loss

>>375757
http://www.opb.org/news/article/homeless-find-cash-variety-ways/
We can grab recycled materials from dumpsters and garbage bins and sell them for some money.

>>377187
Thanks anon, this article is very helpful.
We should:

-Donate blood. Acording to the article it gives 50$ a week, Apparently Portland really needs blood,

-Find a food stamp. In the article it says that is a debit card with 200$ per month but that can only buy food. I guess it is given in the shelters (?). Apparently you can also rent yours for 100$ a month, and can cancel it if the other one doesn't want to return it.

We are talking about 400$ a month for doing very little. We should take advantage of that,

>>377469
Thanks. We could also get some entry-level job and work for a living as well.

Things to buy when we have actual money.
Warm Clothing
Basic survival gear, like a tarp and a food heater. Living in the woods aren't too different from living in the streets.
Gloves, work boots. Literally bootstrapping our way out of poverty.

How about sperm donation? Cum's worth a fortune.

>>377493
Another thing to look into are any public housing projects in Portland that might be affordable with $400(?) a month of income. A tarp and heater would still be the first step IMO.

>>377187
>Researching about the issue
kek recessive gringo from 1rst world.
We can go to the town hall and volunteer to make street cleaning jobs.

>>378493
I'm sorry for being well off pooranon. Hey, are there any experiences that you would like to share about poverty?

>>378510
Well, my parents used to barter for goods when I was a kid. Maybe we have something of value that some other hobo or junkie needs.

Don't die on me, OP

>>378510
If we get the time,there are lots of high-quality stuff on sale on the internet. We could buy and then try to resell them.

>>380415
This thread died a long time ago. Maybe we should take the initiative and continue the Quest ourselves. Anyone with me?

>>381425
Don't sound too bad an idea.

>>385638
So you up to the task? I'm ready, but we have to wait for more people.

>>385745
I can't QM, but I would like to see this continue. A new thread would need to be made though.

I'll think bout it tomorrow. If I have free time, then it'll be my first time as a QM. Wish me luck buds.
Oh, and I'll use this trip.

>>386820
If you need help, i'm a legit homeless person in bellingham earning 150-200 a day while staying at a homeless shelter everynight as part of a long term guest program. It's okay, and I can impart my knowledge in the savvy was. I have an iphone, internet, a laptop, external terabyte hard drive, two external batteries for my phone while I play pokemon go, and fancy clothes from the clothing room and three meals and a cot. I know the ways. I have many business contacts and am on my way to being a journeyman and all around jack of all trades.

>>386878
Oh shit nigger, that's actually pretty dope. Except for the fact your homeless. Good luck mate.