4chan Alien Quest #1

>>355738
Your mom.

>>355755
sos I'm an alien lol we don't have mums.

>>355738
The others would be Moot, Stephen Hawking, Trump and Hillary

>>355772
I wanted 1 person per post, but I'll select Trump because meme magic

3 People left

>>355789
Eh, fair enough, but if trump is there because meme magic so should moot

>>355803
Well I want more anons to get in here and suggest there own but if it comes down to it then I guess xXx_m00t__XxX could join the server

>>355822
Jeb Bush, they brought him along so Trump has someone to test out insults on.

>>355738
Jackie Chan

>>355822
I feel that someone will join the servers

OK These are the people who will be taken

>Anon (You)
>Donald Trump
>Jeb Bush
>Jackie Chan
>moot

These 5 are taken to their spaceship where they are experimented on.

HOW TO WIN
There are multiple ways to win.
1. Escape the ship with the other people
2. Take control of the ship
3. Make peace among the humans and aliens.

This will act somewhat like a board game. First it will be Anon's turn to do something, then Trump, then Bush, then Chan, then moot, then the Aliens. When your suggesting on what to do, roll dice+1d100. If the roll is 1-32, then it is denied. if it is 33-65, then I will decide whether it is denied or approved. if it is 66-100, then it will be approved.

It is Anon's turn! What will you do or who will you interact with?

>>355930
ALSO: I will decide what the Aliens do.

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>355930
Whip out your dick to impress them

roll dice+1d100

>>355930
Try to locate an exit

Dice+1d100

Try to calm the aliens by offering a small loan of a million dollars

>>356078
You did it wrong
put dice+1d100 in the Options field

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>356078
Turns out I have no idea how to roll.

>>356091
And I got the worst possible roll anyway :(

>>356079
you too? refer to >>356087.

Come on guise

Rolled 30 (1d100)

Establish current surroundings

Rolled 97 (1d100)

Spill blood for the random number god for decent rolls.

>>356163
So, I'm guessing you want >>356161 to happen. ok

You're in a spaceship composed of what looks like a white metal alloy. It looks super futuristic. Moot is in the other room, shitposting on 4chan. Perhaps we could ask him if he could send anons i.e. Anonymous Hackers to help us out. Suprisingly, this place is very home-y. You assume this is some sort of green room until the Aliens are ready to start their experiments.

It is now Donald Trump's Turn! What will he do or interact with whom?

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>356079
This.

>>356173
Offer the aliens a small loan of a million dollars

>>356184
Donald Trump Attempts to offer the aliens a small loan of a million dollars, but they don't use American currency. Also, he discovers a bowl of this liquid metal, he'll call it Donaldite. It is able to be molded into any shape, and it is near indestructible when it fully hardens. Of course, the aliens have a hammer-like tool that is used to liquify the metal instantly. He collects some of this for later use.

Donald Trump collected some Donaldite!

It is now Jeb Bush's Turn! What will he do or interact with whom?

>>356191
jeb is begging for mercy

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>356197
oh forget to roll

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>356191
Jeb attempts to sell guac bowls to the others

>>356005
That's what my grandad says after he has a Vietnam flashback

well seems like op is gone

>>356224
yep I was abducted

>>356200
Jeb sells some guac bowls and gains $20! Nothing else happens, besides being insulted by the glorious trump

It is now Jackie Chan's Turn! What will he do or interact with whom?

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>356757
He tells the aliens he wants no trouble and asks to go home.

>>356757
Show them some sweet parkour stunts and martial arts to impress them

>>356777
Forgot to roll

>>356777
>>356780
fail

>>356774
The Aliens understand, but they must keep the subjects on board. Nothing else happens.

It is now moot's Turn! What will he do or interact with whom? He is able to use any of 4chan's boards to communicate.

>>356821
Why is there an Internet connection on a alien spaceship?

>>356876
How are they able to hack into the news broadcast? or look at alien hentai

>>356886
Moot asks if he can share any of their Alien porn on /d/

>>356908
The Aliens agree, and /d/ gets shut down lol
Moot also tells /b/, /x/, and other boards no one goes on that he is on an alien spaceship.

IT IS NOW THE ALIENS' TURN.

They send Jeb Bush down to a room with a cybernetic chef to control it. They also ask Anon (You) for your mother's contact information, as they do not have a female on the ship (They confused moot for one).

Will you let them abduct your mother?

YES
no lol

>>356921
Sure, let them take our mother.
I mean she's already squeezed us through her vagina, she's pretty much useless to us now

>>356964
you Forgot to roll

>>356908
You forgot to roll too lol refer to >>356087

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>356976
Fine.
Rolling for >>356964