Tarzan Quest

>>35384
Examine surroundings

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You slowly start to grasp in your surroundings. The trees are much shinier than you remember. Then it suddenly hits you. This isn't your forest anymore. This is some weird, chrome hell that just resembles your forest. Only in chrome.

You start to soak everything in. Your favorite tree is chrome. The dirt is chrome. The leaves are chrome. Even the sun is chrome now.

Also out in the distance you see a cat staring at you, kind of creeping you out. If you got something to say then fucking say it to my face is what you're thinking. Fucking cats always ruined your days.

Now you're really lost. What the hell do you even do in this chromatic wasteland?

>>35643
Become Tarzan, king of the shapes

>>35643
Attempt to speak to the cat

Eat the sun

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>>35655
>>35726
>>35809

The only real shape you can see here is the sun itself. You stare at it and start yelling orders at it. You are the king of shapes, after all. Sadly, the sun doesn't want to listen to your command to "blow up the cat". Suddenly, you start to shake and feel some form of pain in your eye. You assume the cat's doing some shady dumb shit so you get fed up and go over to him. Before you can say anything, it smiles upon you.

>"Oh great one. I have waited millenniums for your arrival. Welcome."

Take a great big Tarzan shit to establish dominance

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>>35891

You take a great big Tarzan shit to show the cat you mean business. The fact that it isn't chrome is definitely scaring the cat, you can sense it.

The cat just continues rambling though as the shit just stays there, festering.

>"Tarzan, you were not brought to this era by accident. Everything occurs for a purpose."

You feel like asking what the cat what the purpose of the shit was then, but you decide to hold your tongue and listen to this thing.

>"I am one that is known as Clarence. I am what you might call a "Cat". My purpose in this plane, however, is to be your guardian and guide throughout this journey. It will be an honor to serve you, my lord."

"My lord" gets you off guard, because last time you checked cats weren't jungles, apes or shapes.

>>36067
Ask the cat to lead you to the apes

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>>36099

>"Tarzan...I'm afraid the apes you know of are no more."

The cat suddenly stares off into the distance, as a hologram of explosions, fire and general disaster erupt from it's skull.

>"In the year 2040, a corporation you might know as "Kelloggs" created a new cereal. The name was Monkey Munchies. In a marketing attempt, they tried to create a helmet that allowed apes to speak proper English to advertise the cereal themselves. However, the CEO, John A. Bryant, found out something far worse."

Suddenly, a silhouette of a man appears, with only some features visible.

>"What we know is, there was some power within the apes. And since you went missing 24 years prior..."

The cat starts to tear up

>"...The apes were all utilized to form Kellogg's army."

>>36208
ask cat if Tony the Tiger is still a thing, he was your favorite

>>36208
Enlist the help of Gorilla Munch, he's your only hope!

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>>36246
>>36293

The cat explains that Tony is alive and well. He is, however, one of the lead generals on Kellogg's front, and helps them assert their control over the world.

The cat also takes a brief moment of silence before explaining that Gorilla Munch was taken out by Tony in a battle over ape freedom.

>>36395
Make Clarence take you to his creator

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>>36418

Clarence is offended that you think he's not organic. He was just born like this. He shakes his head however, and continues.

>"Prophecy has spoken about your return, Tarzan. In it, you are said to obtain all 8 |MYSTICAL PRIZES|. With it, you are able to then enter |CASTLE LA KELLOGG| and defeat John Bryant, freeing society from their iron shackles, and saving the apes. This is no easy task, and this is why I am hear to guide you. The |MYSTICAL PRIZES| are all guarded by 8 of Kellogg's most valuable generals, and they are all exceptionally talented at combat."

The cat smiles at you

>"However, knowing the great Tarzan is on our side...it gives me hope."

You try to be sentimental and say thank you, but you remember that there's still a pile of shit near you. And it looks pretty weird now too. Gross.

>>36532
Merge with the cat to gain superfeline abilities

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>>36590

You cannot merge with a cat, as a cat is not an APE. Or a SHAPE. Or a JUNGLE. You do, however, ask the cat where is the nearest prize.

The cat points to the castle in the distance, and states that this is the domain of the |CINNAMON WARLORD| and his |RED FRIEND|.

>>36697
Look for any back entrance, and if none exist, burst into through the window

>>36697
Ask about the current status of the eggo resistance. Waffles are immortal, and are most definitely at least two shapes, if is their nature.

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>>36813

Before you decide to make the attack, you ask Clarence one last inquiry about the whereabouts of the waffles. Clarence nods and can confirm that the |EGGO RESISTANCE| is alive and well, but their current whereabouts are unknown. You take solace in knowing that there might exist some shapes in this desolate, chrome world.

>>36735

You decide to just fucking burst through the window like a real king of apes would, carrying Clarence with you. As you arrive inside this broken building, you see something in front of you lounging on a throne.

>"Tarzan, it's the red one!"

The red creature laughs as stares forward at you and your new ally.

>"So the time has come...hello Tarzan. Welcome to my domain."

Tell him politely you're glad to be here and you're feeling good today

>>36837
Prepared for this fight, with the aid of General Mill Cereal's HONEY NUT CHEERIOS, You summon the Zyklon Bee

>>36837
Try to pick him up by his stem and twirl him around

>>36837
Locate any vines to swing around on!

>>36900
You no beat Tarzan, Bad Apple!

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>>36843

You wave to the red one and tell him you're doing pretty well. Took a nice shit earlier and are now having a good time with your new friend.

>>36851

While distracted by your conversation, Clarence pulls out a box of cereal from his head.

>"One of the last boxes left of the strongest rebellion. Tarzan, quick, open this!"

The cat throws the box at you as you quickly open it, summoning the HONEY NUT CHEERIO Bee, Honey "Zyklon" Bee.

The red one suddenly jumps up, surprised.

>"G-General Mills! I thought they were all executed!"

>>36900
>>36869
>>36937

Suddenly, your Tarzan genes start kicking in and you really want to swing on a vine. While there are no vines in the area, you do see the stem on the red creature. You try to jump him and swing on it, but suddenly you get knocked back.

>"You fools! No matter how much power you have, you cannot surpass the |APPLE DIMENSION|. So long as if I am focusing, I am unstoppable!"

>>36978
The cyanide-based gas should serve as a distraction. If not, "if Sun so hot, why no eat ice cream?" Should get him thinking.

>>36978
Distract him by stinging your butt with Zyklon, in hopes of distracting him with your swollen, sexy ass.

>>37006
The cyanide would kill you, and necrophilia isn't nearly as sexy in the future as it is now. I know from experience.

Suddenly the Red One hears that a bowl of Apple Jacks is being poured. He stops in his tracks and says to himself "Those are my Apple Jacks!" then gets distracted losing his focus on Tarzan.

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>>36999
>>37006
>>37050

You understand that if you cannot get inside the monster's dimension in time, he is impervious. Suddenly, your brilliant ape-man-jungle-shaped mind thinks of a plan.

Zyklon's honey-scented cyanide does smell nice, but scent cannot get through the red beast's shield. You decide to instead ask him a simple question. "If sun so hot, why no eat ice cream?". The apple-shaped cretin's shield drops as he looks at you in a confused manner.

>"Are you retarded?"

Just then, you look at Zyklon and nod, and he stings your ass, propelling you forward out of pain. While normally you would die via the poison, because you are Tarzan you are STRONG! Tarzan no die to stupid cyanide.

Now that you are within the red one's range, you prepare to destroy him when an odd sound is hear in the background. The apple smiles as he says "Those are my Apple Jacks!".

Suddenly, in an instant, Zyklon is cut in two.

Prologue: FINISHED

I'm going to go do work so I don't drop out of college now. You guys can keep this shitfest alive or let it die, it's all gucci with me.

Uninstall Google Chrome and replace it with superior IE