Adventure Call

>>341951
Whence I came.

>>341951
John Johnington of the Johnson House.

>>341951
Runs from Goats, of the Hillside Clan.

>>341951
Getmii Dickins of the Tight Canyon

>>342097
Op is kill so.

I am new op. You all wake up in a tavern and see that half of it is gone.

what do.

>>342126
Go north

>>342126
Rebuild tavern

>>342126
Look around.

>>342138
You go north and see the county dungeon.
>>342139
roll 1d20
>>342142
there are scorch marks and splitered wood everywhere. you seem some dude rebuilding. Also there is someone on fire screaming.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>342188

>>342208
you put up a board and it falls down on the on fire guy thus making him trip and be not on fire cause reasons. GJ

>>342188
I check on the man hit by the board.

>>342234
He looks to you and rasps "R-Rose..bud" then dies. He was very on fire.

>>342247
Can we see the source of all the destruction?

>>342257
You see a dark shadow with large wings and a long neck go into the local dungeon through a hole at the top.

>>342270
Join the other anon in rebuilding the tavern.

>>342270
Climb the dungeon and go through the hole at the top. Fuck the buildup we'll speedrun this cunt.

>>342293
1d20
>>342307
1d100 DC90 you're climbing a mountain in burnt clothes.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>342316
Easy.

>>342329
You run by the entrance to the dungeon and attempt to make it up the mountain but cant climb or find a purchase. The man at the entrance of the dungeon feels pity and disgust that you are part of his race.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>342316

>>342355
The wall looks good as new. You finished it earlier than excepted and also sweep and clean the place. It looks great. You also find a deed to the tavern and notice the man who owned it had no family. Most of the liquor is gone but a barrel or 2 remains.

>>342353
I'll enter the normal way then.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>342370
Take the deeds, fill up a bottle of liqour and climb the mountain.

>>342384
You enter and see three creatures. One is blue and says "One of us always tells the truth." One is red and says "The other always lies." One is green and says "Fuck you."

>>342387
You make it a bit more but cant quite get there. You get a modicum of respect from the man outside the entrance. You see an entrance into the dungeon that does not include mountain climbing.

>>342416
Just creatures? Is there a door?

>>342434
indeed. 2 doors and a trapdoor on the floor. Forgot to mention it.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>342447
I ask which number between 1-6 I'm thinking of.

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>342427
Continue to scale the mountain.

>>342466
You slip and fall and the man at the entrance loses all respect for you.
>>342465
The Red one says "4." The Blue One says "2." The Green One says "Fuck you."

Roll me a d20 if you would :)

>>342479
Start a project to put the tavern on rollers.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>342479
Me roll?

I ask the red one which door leads to the next part of the dungeon.

>>342496
Well I hope I didn't have to roll.

>>342488
What are rollers? Also the Tavern is immobile it has stone foundation and is deeply rooted to the ground.
>>342496
NYEHHEHEHEHEH

The Green One runs up and opens the hatch he then kick you in the balls and sends you flying into the abyss below. You can not see anything and are in excruciating pain. You lose the trait [Can Has Babees.]

>>342511
Do I have anything in my inventory? If not I'll walk around with my arms out trying to find a door.

That's my lineage out the fucking window.

>>342527
You attempt to feel the walls for a way to get out but cant for your dick is just hurting sooo very much.

>>342535
A herd is only as fast as it's slowest member. I cut of my dick so it doesn't hurt anymore.

Now I have a new bludgeoning weapon. Best case scenario I find enough gold in this dungeon to smelt a new goldmember, worst case I become a ladyboi.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>342535
I'll roll for it too.

>>342511
Uproot the tavern and put it on logs. Also, use some liquor to dress any wounds I have from falling down the mountain.

>>342551
Quick question. Would your chara accept a patron god?
>>342567
1d100 dc75 cause im nice.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>342573
I want to put it on wheels instead, 4 pairs of wheels.

>>342573
I'll take what I can get.

>>342573
Sure, I'll take whatever I can get.

>>342599
>Gets up and walks away

....1d20 for wheels.

>>342617
Come on, OP, I gave you 1d20. I'll just put it on the logs, then, and enter the dungeon with it.

>>342627
You grab the tavern like it was a weakling and rip it from its stone foundations. You put it on some logs and some villagers look on in awe at your mighty strength. You roll the Tavern to the entrance and see the tavern can not enter.
>>342600
You receive a vision of a suit of armor that says "For your great sacrifice I shall give you a boon. Continue to do my work." Your cut off dingle ling turn into a great sword and the area around your crotch heals into a flat surface.

Your're now a paladin of a god of celibacy and honor. You can heal minor wounds and smite things that are considered evil from your god/ess. Your god has no gender and is a suit of armor as far as anyone knows.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>342661
With my newfound vigor, I search the dark room for an exit.

>>342661
I try to convince the creatures inside to come out and drink in my tavern and then to help me widen the doorway.

>>342672
You quickly find an exit after finding out your sword glows when something your religion does not like is near. Like a door with no archway. You think to your self 'I mean really it would look so much better! These people have no class' The door goes into a room with 3 gobos playin some poker. Roll for initiative. you have 10 hp and can deal a max of 3 per round. the gobos have 5 hp.
>>342690
The creatures ignore you as they are in a heated debate over who gets which part of their new meal.

Rolled 6, 2, 10 = 18 (3d15)

>>342700
Gobo initiative. BTW roll a d20 for initiative.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>342700
A door with no archway is like a girl with no dick, no use at all. On guard gobos!

>>342700
I enter the dungeon with a bottle of liquor and try to befriend the creatures with liquor. I ask them if there is a shortcut to the final room.

>>342716
The green one rushes to the booze and...roll 1d20 :)

>>342715
You can attack them with a roll to hit being a d20. You have +1 to every roll from paladin-ess since they go against your religion.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>342733
I aim specifically for the dick, with the hope of pleasing my god.

(Also three 15s in a row - maybe a fourth?)

>>342744
dmg roll. 1d3

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>342727

>>342763
...He grabs the booze and pushes you down an open hatch. You luckily still have your nuts and are fine. You see a light glowing from a door and that someone is fighting some gobos with great success.

(Btw imma use a dice roller to roll dmg so its faster.)

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>342755

Rolled 17, 19, 20 = 56 (3d20)

>>342774
You cut a Gobos arm clean off and your holyness infects his ungentlemanly flesh.

Roll for them to hit.

>>342783
Well fuck.

>>342773
I take off my shirt and stuff it into my trousers to protect my genitals; then I approach cautiously.

>>342783
WOW. They deal a combined 2+2+2=6 damage. You are very hurt.

>>342793
You see the man get very hurt from the gobos and that he looks like he will die soon.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>342795
I think I'm going to ask the penis-bearing heathen behind me for help. While attacking the one missing an arm.

>>342807
You attempt ot hit and miss.

I am gonna spirit away cause I is tired. Farewell.

>>342817
Later, it's been fun new OP.

>>342817
Thanks for running.