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Anonymous
Deep Sea Submarine Adventure, part 2 2016-07-05 16:27:07 Post No. 338352
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Deep Sea Submarine Adventure, part 2 2016-07-05 16:27:07 Post No. 338352
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Oh shit nigger, you're the captain of the Moby Dick, a submarine. But in the last episode, you and your crew were captured by a military submarine. Currently you're fighting the captain of the military sub, whom you managed
to burn with a flamethrower. But he's still not dead and kept fighting you. What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338352
Run away while spilling a box of oranges to trip him.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338352
Set your armor into overdrive, temporarily becoming the equivalent of a walking exterminatus, but rendering it useless afterwards.
I will avenge that broth
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338359
Lose the fight in a predetermined manner
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338363
Punch the captain in the face
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338363
EXTERMINATUS!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338363
Lose the fight as was predetermined
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338363
Try to smash the visor more with roundhouse kick from our power leg.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338363
Blast his ass his with all the power of exterminatus!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338380
Now flop on the floor like a fish
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338380
Suddebly get surrounded by all the military left on the sub
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338380
Ora Ora Ora ora
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338380
Now tripand just punch straight through his head.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338395
Evolve into gyarados
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338395
You get captured in a stasis field
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338395
Flop over onto him and pin him to the ground.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338401
The military come and throw the rest of your crew in there too.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338401
Its clearly the armor's emergency field, our power supply is running low. We ride ourselves of the armor and disable the field.
>>
>>338409
Rid i mean, also we keep the flamethrower. Think of the culinarian possibilities.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338414
Cut to us in the SUPER MAXIMUM DEEPEST SEA ULTIMATE PRISON
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338414
You are exterminatus, this field will not stop you. Destroy the field and go back to your fight while steve KILLS LITERALLY EVERYBODY again
>>
>>338416
Well fug
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338424
They disabled your armor while you were mid-exterminatus mode. This means it should still be operable. Its merely a question of getting it back, restarting it and opening a hole through every single wall in this place.
This will require a cunning plan...
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338424
Just how deep is it? Is it 2deep4u?
>>
>>338429
"Mario lore deep"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338433
examine cell interior
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338433
Where's our COOK I demand to know! He's the heart and soul of this crew!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338433
Psst, hey guard, I bet you're a casul
>>
>>338436
"Oh he's dead. Executed. No orcs left alive, ya know. Policies"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338442
You're a dick Mark.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338442
Quit bullshitting me now where is he
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338442
You lie!
That's not canon!
>>
>>338445
"Six feet under. In a coffin"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338448
wake up
>>
>>338448
Did you bury him in dirt? He was a spore based orc you idiot! Were about to be atacjed by a horde of feral orcs!!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338448
You'll never be a protagonist Mark.NEVER
EVER
>>
>>338450
"Good Morning, prisoner. Your orc cook lying inside a coffin was indeed a dream. Orcs dont deserve burials. We burned him and brought the ashes back to his family. And then laughed at them while throwing the ashes into their faces"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338459
Nooooooo, wait you did all of that, how long was I out for?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338459
Throw our shit at him throw the bars as revenge for our cook
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338459
Mark's just being a dick.
>>
>>338462
"Enough time for us to kill his family too and burned down the house to get rid of the evidence"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338459
How did you know what my dream was?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338473
I demand a phone so I can tell the the rest of the world the crimes you've done.
>>
>>338475
"We have also spent that time impersonating you online. You are now known world wide as an insane paranoid pedophile that is not to be trusted. Nobody will believe you"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338481
Have steve kill him from behind with a golden spear
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338481
You'll avenge your chef and your reputation by having steve KILLING LITERALY EVERYBODY. But first you must plan your grand escape.
>>
>>338481
Why the fuck are you using power armor to just lean on a cell door for at least 10 hours?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338481
mean while in the vent shaft, the cook who actually escaped death with a orc doll is attempting to free the captain and the crew
>>
>>338485
"We have also melted the golden spear down and made it into a spoon. Then we used it to eat a delicious hotpot. Its broth was far better than anything you could have ever made"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338491
For all we know this could just be an empty suit with a microphone in it.Take the helmet.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338491
Where the rest of my crew you monster? Or did you go to the next level and rape them to death.
>>
>>338496
"Nah we didn't do that. We dressed up as you THEN raped them to death. So they can die thinking their own captain betrayed them"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338500
golden spoon goes through the guard's head.
he wasn't lying about that...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338500
Kick down the door
>>
>>338502
At this point you realize your cell door doesn't really have bars. It's actually a glass pane with bars painted on to trick you.
"Oh yeah, we're dicks like that"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338500
Pretend to be angered and look through your cell for something that might help you escape.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338509
Kick down the door with the fury of an angry ostrich
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338509
Are we really even in a cell?
This could be a test to trick us.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338509
Steve kills him from behind with the golden spoon
>>
>>338511
"Well good luck with your impotent raging, bye"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338519
Try to tunnel out your cell using a spoon
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338519
Get so mad you boil the entire ship
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338519
GODDAMN IT I CALLED IT!Observe the cell
>>
>>338524
"Why? That movie was pretty shit"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338527
Hey look a passcode, reach it with you arm
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338527
Teh cook in there with you?
>>
>>338529
You can't. The glass barrier blocked you
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
STEVE! I THOUGHT YOU GOT RAPED TO DEATH! IS THE COOK IN THERE?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
Smash it
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
The cook was in the cell with you the entire time
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338537
It's a good thing you've got a C4 charge lodged in your ass and the detonator in your hat.
>>
>>338538
"What? He's in the cell right next to mine"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338548
Wow Mark's a dick.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338548
Time to pull that C4 out of our asses and blast our way out. You guys did follow the ass blaster protocol we set, right?
>>
>>338551
"lol fag" said Mark as he does the Mark dance
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338557
Mark trips and smashes through the captain's door.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338557
Break the wall blocking you from steve out of anger
>>
>>338561
"Ah, so I did. BUT IT WAS MY CAPTAIN'S DOOR THOUGH, LMAO"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338567
You've made the captain very angry though Mark. That was his favorite door.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338567
The captain violently lectures Mark on breaking his doors
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338567
You've angered the elderbeast you call a captain by smashing through its door Mark. Your captain's about to literally eat your face.
>>
>>338571
Mark was then brought to military court for treason. Meanwhile you're still in the cell
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338580
Hide under your bed to trick them you disappeared
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338580
Did he leave his armor behind? Smash whatever you have to to get his armor, and with that you might be able to get out of the cell.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338580
Examine cell for shit that might help you get out of this shit hole
>>
>>338586
No he didn't. He made sure to turn it in to the military police and even stuck a note for you onto your cell's door.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338597
Try to remember if we have any superpowers other than regenerating teeth that could help us here.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338597
>Smash whatever you have to to get his armor
Doesn't matter whether he left it, get it anyway.
>>
>>338599
Roll 2d100 for a superpower
0-39: a completely useless power in any situation
40-79: a completely useless power in this situation
80-95: helpful power right now but weak otherwise
96-100: superpower
>>
Rolled 96, 54 = 150 (2d100)
>>338607
ELDER GODS AID ME
>>
Rolled 13, 94 = 107 (2d100)
>>338607
RO RO FITE DA POWA
>>
Rolled 55, 83 = 138 (2d100)
>>338607
Rolling for necromancy
>>
Rolled 21, 95 = 116 (2d100)
>>338607
please something related to cooking
>>
>>338608
Oh yeah, you remember now. You can grow a moustache on command.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338621
Do it
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338621
Grow a glorious mustache and attempt to assume an innocent man's identity
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338621
Grow a Chaplin mustache.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338621
grow a mustache made out of industrial grade lasers.
>>
>>338625
A most innocent of mustaches
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338633
The guards no longer recognize you and realize an innocent man must be locked up
>>
>>338633
Hello? Guards, I believe me and my compatriots were put in here my mistake. I am but a british aristocrat.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338633
Assuming an unknown man's identity pretend to bind yourself to the bed and shout for help, insisting that you've been trapped there by an escapee.
>>
>>338644
"We have 24/7 camera surveillance on you, dumbass"
>>
>>338652
Scream about how the motherfucker must hacked the cammera, stole your power armor and went out to make some shitty broth.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338652
channel the rage you get from this fucker and smash the door.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338652
Cover your eyes. If you can't see them, they can't see you
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338652
build a exosuit out of regenerating teeth and mustaches without caring about cameras
>>
>>
>>338657
klank
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338672
Start walking on your hands so that they think you're actually someone with legs for a head
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338672
mention that there are no cammeras in this room, call him a casual dipshit, and someone trapped you in here raging about how they were going to make broth with the captain's eyeballs
>>
>>338672
Remember you are a Lord of the government this military serves. Forget that in your rebellious teenage years you ran away.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338682
Forgot my roll, I meant to say "remember" the running away.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
I though Mark was on fire
>>
>>338675
Roll 2d100 to attempt to craft a suit out of facial hair and teeth
0-19: astronomical failure
20-39: terrible failure
40-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: great success
>>338687
That was after this in the timeline
>>
Rolled 13, 40 = 53 (2d100)
>>338693
>>
Rolled 61, 28 = 89 (2d100)
>>338693
>>
Rolled 93, 27 = 120 (2d100)
>>338693
last roll for the day
>>
Rolled 41, 84 = 125 (2d100)
>>338693
>>
>>338702
I always knew that organics are shit builder material for anything
>>
Rolled 44, 13 = 57 (2d100)
>>338693
WE NEED THIIS
>>
Rolled 47, 85 = 132 (2d100)
>>338693
here goes
>>
>>338702
YOu have managed to not only fail to make a suit but also make yourself blind in one eye
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338714
Blind... or enhanced toothvision?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338714
Tell Steve to handle this shit while you try to regenerate your fucking eye.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338714
And so we've earn our eye patch. Make it from a tatter of your uniform and some shoelace.
>>
>>338718
"Aye, captain. I'll go find the key to your cell"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338731
Find an eye patch for me while you're at it lad. Wait how'd you get out?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338731
lets control steve then
>>
>>338735
"I hid a tiny bomb inside my hat that they detected and confiscated. Which served as a distraction for the real bomb I hid inside one of my tooth
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338746
And actually, your tooth in your eye is a tiny bomb too
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338746
Quick throw some teeth we regenerated at the wall, they might be explosive.
>>
>>
>>338748
"No, it's just a normal tooth."
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338753
Normal teeth can't regrow though
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338753
You ask how the fuck your ability to create a mustache out of thin air is helpful in any situation outside of being fucking stuck inside this cell.
>>
>>338756
"Just because you can regrow it fast doesn't mean it can explode. That's a pretty big leap, ya know"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338763
I'm master of big leaps... like leaping out of this cell!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338763
We'll never know until we try.
>>
>>338768
"Well, anytime you need to disguise yourself while not under surveillance"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338777
Quick hide yourself under your cell bed so you're not seen by cameras!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338777
Once steve finds the key grow a even more glorious mustache to disguise our identity since we'll be away from cameras.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338777
Cut the sass steve. Get the fucking key to this cell, an eye patch and power armors for the crew. We'll tear through this fucking hell hole and sink it.
>>
>>338780
And to do that he must first fight a heavily armored guard.
Which will happen.... in a later update. That's it for today, see ya next time.
Updates n shit:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>338797
Wow they must really hate their guards to just give him a foam bat.
>>
>>346197
No luck for a 2 day old thread mate
>>
>>346259
Op claimed through twitter that there'd be an update tomorrow, so I'm trying to keep the thread alive
>>
>>346307
He'll make a new thread. This board autosages after 72 hours
>>
>>347014
Oh noes
>>
update soonish
>>
>>347642
Gonna be sex in space on this night
>>
>>338820
"Joke's on you. It's actually a metal baton. Shaped like a foam bat"
>>
>>347651
Steve works his magic to turn into opposite of what this bad guy wants.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347651
Punch self in face with metal bat shaped like a foam bat
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347651
Your a big guy
>>
>>347653
You can't do that, you're still stuck in your cell
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347659
Punch self in face
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347659
punch cell in the face
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347669
Regenerate your eye
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347669
Keep growing your mustache
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347676
Rip off your mustache
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347676
Keep growing your mustache
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347676
keep growing
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347676
The cook busts down the door with an unconscious guard being dragged in from behind.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347685
By Ukranian magic you are now have some Salo
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347685
Shave all your hair off
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347685
Use your mustache to open the cell door
>>
>>347691
plop
Well that didn't work
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347696
Style your current stache into a toothbrush moustache
>>
>>347698
>By Ukranian magic you are now have some Salo
You are now what?
>>
>>347703
It was so confusing that the image was lost
>>
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347709
The guard standing around beats the fuck out of you for wasting his time.
>>
File: 410-1-salo-01.jpg (157KB, 600x348px) Image search:
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Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347703
>>347709
UKRANIAN SAAALO
COSSACKS OF DEEP SEA COMES TO RESCUE
>>
>>347713
What guard
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347719
The guard in our mind preventing us from accessing the true potential of mustache power.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347719
The armoured guard with a foam bat
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347719
that one which was killed by Steve
>>
>>347723
Oh that guy
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>347728
Steve breaks you out
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347728
Take his power armor
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347728
Steve let's everyone out
>>
>>347731
After letting you out, Steve gives you the Power Armor
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347736
Grow back your eye and shave all your hair
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347736
It tickles
Let the rest of the crew out and plan your escape
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347736
thank Steve
then gather crew
>>
>>347741
The crew's all here.\
Manlet was too short to be in frame
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347745
OK so we need to escape
Cook you are the lead stratification what's the plan?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347745
Come up with a plan to take over this prison.
>>
>>347748
Umm stratagist
Don't know how that happened but it did
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347745
so, where the fuck are we. On enemy submarine or elsewhere?
>>
>>347748
"well, according to this map, we're in cell block 2. We can take the route through the kitchen and get to the dock and retrieve our submarine"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347745
Arrange power armor for the crew
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347761
And what of our options if we meet extradition?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347761
Lets go the the storage instead and loot the shit out of it.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347761
Give every member of your crew a piece of power armor to defend themselves
>>
>>347766
I like you
>>
>>347766
Read as: Take pieces of your own power armor and share amongst the crew.
>>
>>347766
And so you divided your power armor amongst your crew
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347773
Break out other prisoners and enlist their help in take over of the prison.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347773
Lets get our vessel, boys!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347773
Ask steve for laser eyepatch
>>
File: 1467967867363.jpg (47KB, 704x519px) Image search:
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47KB, 704x519px
>>347777
Aw yeah
>>
>>347774
"Well cap'n, we'll have to get to cell block 1 to do that. But that means passing through the mess hall. Where no doubt guards will be waiting"
>>
>>347779
Ask for laser eyepatch and gang up on passing guards in order to steal more power armor parts for the crew until everyone of you has a complete set.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347781
forgot to roll
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347779
Let's go to the kitchen and dress up like chefs and cart some food to the other block. They will never know.
>>
>>347784
"Well obviously, laser eyepatches are kept in the storage"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347789
Very well, the eyepatch shall wait. We'll assault random guards and gather their power armor for now.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347789
Fuck it. Let's leave, but break anything you guys can along the way
>>
>>347793
are you trying to samefag with your IDs in plain sight?
>>
>>347795
No I just fucked up on my roll
>>
>>347792
[FUCK THE POLICE]
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347799
You reach the kitchen
Cornel Sanders is in their with a lead pipe
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347799
The noise of shit breaking attracts guards you must fight
>>
>>347803
"THe prisoners!"
"Get back to your cell, scum!"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347808
Make me fgt
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347808
Fight the guards and steal their power amor
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347808
Go back to your cell.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347808
Fight the guards and take their armor
>>
>>347809
One of the guards knocked you out.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347818
You wake up to see Steve has literally killed everyone... again...
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>347818
You wake up in a torture chamber
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347818
Wake up.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347818
While the the crew subdue the guards you wake up to see Steve speaking tongues.
>>
>>347822
You woke up inside your dream
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347825
You see your waifu
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347825
Wake up again.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347825
Be contacted by an elder deep sea entity who bestows a sacred mission upon your mortal soul.
>>
>>347829
You woke up into another dream plane and acchieve enlightenment, the secrets of the universe is now yours to learn
>>
>>347832
Learn how to get a waifu
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347832
Learn them
Become the bestest captain in the universe.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347832
Feel a quintessential orgasm
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347832
Learn how to regen your eye, and conjure armor made from an elder god's bones
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347841
Become one with the old ones
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347847
Conjure a waifu with your newfound power
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347847
OK time to wake up and show these guards who's boss
>>
>>347851
"Ey yo cap, you oka--HRrrkkk..."
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347856
Check if you feel any different or strange.
>>
>>347858
Not really.
What a rip off
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347862
What happened to the gaurds?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347862
Grow a fo man chu mustache
>>
>>347864
The never existed.
Now the Guards, on the other hand, are all dead.
No thanks to you, but let's not tell anyone that.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347867
Power armor for everyone
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347867
You are a disaster as a captain.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347867
Yeah they did I saw them
>>
>>347869
This realization makes you remember your fathers words
"You damn failure"
Good times
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347871
Loot the armor and head to the kitchen
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347878
MacGyver a flamethrower like you did previously with materials from the kitchen.
>>
>>347878
So far our only successes as a captain has been while drunk, so proceed to consume anything alcoholic found in the kitchen
>>
>>347879
And so you did
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347884
Make one for your other arm too
>>
>>347885
Now
oll 2d100 to make broth
0-9: impossibly terrible failure
10-29: terrible failure
30-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: great success
>>
Rolled 39, 9 = 48 (2d100)
>>347890
>>
>>347890
pls
>>
Rolled 66, 79 = 145 (2d100)
>>347890
GREATNESS AWAITS
>>
Rolled 48, 54 = 102 (2d100)
>>347890
Don't forget to add your secret ingredient:rat poison.
>>
>>347891
You tried to make some broth, but then slipped and dunked your head into the boiling pot. It has burned away the skin of your face, removing your hair and facial hair and even disabled your regenerative abilities.
You also live in constant pain now.
>>347893
Missed it by 1 sec
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347897
Dad was right.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347897
Send the captain to the ship we need to craft him new skin...
>>
>>347897
now thats grade A bullshit
reload your latest save.,
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347897
>Missed it by 1 sec
I blame internets
go scare the hell out of enemy
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347897
Go to the storage perhaps there is something that can heal you
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347900
tfw can never roll
>>
>>347898
This trauma makes you ahve another flashback...to the time when your uncle visited
"HAHA, HOLY SHIT BRO, YOUR SON IS A LOSER"
"I KNOW RIGHT?! HE'S A FAILURE!"
"Probably will never amount to anything in life"
"May possibly die alone and unloved too"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347906
Use emotional and physical pain along with horribly scarred face to scare the everloving shit out of every single one in this prison by wailing like a banshee on meth.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347906
Get to the ship fuck this broth
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347906
reload latest save.
we cant have this pain.
>>
>>347910
Roll 2d100 to scare
0-9: impossibly terrible failure
10-29: terrible failure
30-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: great success
>>
Rolled 59, 66 = 125 (2d100)
>>347918
>>
Rolled 36, 43 = 79 (2d100)
>>347918
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 20, 16 = 36 (2d100)
>>347918
>>
>>347920
Someone please save us from this
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347918
TROOOOOMBEEEEEEE
>>
>>347920
Aw shit, you wailed too hard you ripped your own vocal cords. You are now mute
>>
Rolled 33, 48 = 81 (2d100)
>>347918
>>
>>347920
Wew, what a failure.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347925
May as well go nuclear at this point.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347925
Well hang your head in shame and head back to the ship....
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347925
Focus and tap into elder god powers you received and grow tentacles from your throat to serve as vocal cords and turn into something even scarier.
>>
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347925
The warden shows up to investigate the wailing
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347925
fuck it, grow musache
>>
>>347934
"Hey! I've been waiting for that sandwich for---THE FUCK"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347940
so that's why all captains have face covered
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347940
That black sea horror reacts in your body and acts like a symbiot in spiderman. You look awesome
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347940
THE WARDEN IS ACTUALLY YOU FROM THE FUTURE
REVEAL WHAT'S UNDER THE MASK
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347941
FORGOT TO FUCKING ROLL
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347925
Ask the orc to fix our vocal cords.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347940
Scare the shit of the enemy captain.
>>
>>347943
Roll 2d100
80-100: The tentacle from the deep sea horror you ate in part 1 reacts to your trauma and bonds with you like the symbiote from spiderman. pls dont sue, marvel
60-79: The tentacle from the deep sea horror you ate in part 1 reacts to your trauma and gives you a slight power boost in the form of you growing one tentacle form your arm
0-59: nothing happens because you're a dammn failure
>>
Rolled 34, 90 = 124 (2d100)
>>347951
>>
Rolled 6, 97 = 103 (2d100)
>>347951
>>
>>347952
Phew glad I didn't win
>>
>>347957
you had an even higher roll, we'd become deep sea carnage anyway
>>
>>347960
I didn't read op post just went into cruse control on that one.
>>
>>347952
Well, so that happened. The tentacle you ate in part 1 bonded with you and transformed you into something else
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347962
Eat the warden
He looks sick op
God bless you
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347962
Have symbiote bond with armor and turn it into a biomechanical extension of yourself
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347962
but can you cook better now?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347962
We Venom now. Beat the crap out of the warden.
>>
>>347962
Did Marvel get op?
>>
>>347972
the symbiotes clearly got to him
>>
>>347964
And so it did
Now i must leave
go to hospital to treat head, will be back soon
>>
>>347975
Best wishes OP, your threads are the only thing that keeps me sane during work hours.
>>
>>347975
Jesus! MARVEL DID GET NaP!
>>
>>347977
I'm at work as well, security officer can suck, but on weekends I bring my comp and play some vidya
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347975
you lost control of your character
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347975
You are in total control of your character
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347982
Nice save
>>
>>347984
mutants suck ass
>>
Alright, I'm back with a slightly less painful headache, who's still here
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348080
MAXIMUM SUBMARINE-CARNAGE
>>
>>348086
Well we are indeed deep underwater, but not actually inside a submarine, yet. Just an underwater prison facility
>>
>>348094
Submarine as in below the water level, kindly NaP.
>>
>>348080
Me
>>
>>348100
Well yes, then we're submarine literally
>>
>>347982
>>348086
Anyway, you're an angry captain that looks like this now
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348118
take vengeance upon the enemy warden/captain for the retarded defeat you suffered at his hands prior to being caged.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348118
Kill the warden
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348118
you lost control of your character
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348118
Now make that broth champ
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348131
Make some warden broth
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348131
It's really good
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348131
use symbiote powers to multitask and make the warden a sandwich while you make the broth
>>
>>348133
"Huh, it actually is. This is amazing!"
Due to your traumas, the symbioteahem--I mean deep sea abyssal creature has bonded with you in a way that helped you overcome them. As in it has given you the power to make delicious broth without having to roll dice
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348148
make him a sandwich as well and explain that all you wanted before you got dragged into this hellhole was a nice kitchen in which to cook
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348148
Cool, so when are we gonna fight?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348148
You're free to go
>>
>>348151
"After dinner"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348154
Dinner is served
>>
>>348155
"Yes, we all want something simple in life don't we,...but didn't you attack one of our militray vessels first?"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348159
Did you see our kitchen? Its where we store all our torpedoes. Our food usually tastes like gunpowder and explosions.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
Well that's becauseeeee
We thought you were a.... giant squid? And we were so hungry
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348154
dindu nuffin
>>
>>348161
"We do have your vessel in the dock, but the kitchen doesn't have any torpedoes in it. Or weapons for that matter. In fact it's located nowhere near any of your weapons on the ship"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348168
look at the ork chef and ask him how he did that
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348168
eat his sandwich
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348168
You see we attacked you because space aliens told us to, were totally not crazy.
>>
>>348173
"Anyway, you're here because not only you attacked a military vessel but also because it's obvious you're working for a secret cult hellbent on sinking the world into the abyss that has their base of operations somewhere in the ruins of the ancient sunken city we found you in"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348176
eat it all
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348176
Wait no, we're too retarded for that last part. We're just retards
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348176
What do you mean? We destroyed the cult's giant monster and weaponized its bea... so that's where the torpedoes went.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348176
What cult? Is it run by a sea witch?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348176
"Actually I'm searching for a waifu in bottem of the sea."
>>
>>348178
"Are you sure? We've been investigating those ruins and we have reasons to believe there's a hidden base there. What were you doing there if you're not of the cult? PLus your ship looks like a sea monster"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348186
We were looting the place of course, we gotta put food on the table somehow.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348186
I was just looking for waifus and sea urchins to fug. My ship design is just that. a stylistic choice.
>>
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348186
Sea monsters look cool
>>
>>348189
"A likely story"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348199
Am I free to go?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348199
Ask him if all their submarine captains are built to survive direct flamethrower blasts to the face and have the strength of 25 men and a large turtle.
>>
>>348204
"Depends if our investigation determine you're a cultist or not. Plus your crew did murder a bunch of military personnel."
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348214
It's time to argue this out in court! Put on your attorney badge
>>
>>
>>348218
"Yeah"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348221
I am leaving and you can't stop me
>>
>>348221
Why and how!?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348221
Seriously? Holy shit, i thought he was a cultist for a second.
Also how do i prove my innocence?
>>
>>348227
"Depends on what we can dig up inside your sub and how your crew answer our questions"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348230
May we have a nicer kitchen installed in our sub if we're considered innocent?
Also there's a giant beam weapon we ripped off a deceased elder god robot in our sub, we'd like to register that in order to be able to make legal use of it.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348230
Search the sub then and question us, but if I find anything missing from my private stash I will destroy this sub.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348230
What if I refuse?
>>
>>348232
"One, this is not a submarine. Two, what private stash"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348236
Put on your attorney badge and defend yourself in makeshift military court
>>
>>348239
"We'll see"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348236
Adult magazines.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348243
Fast forward to the part where we are declared innocent and we dindu nuttin
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348243
Have steve accompany his men and answer their questions while you gradually learn how to cook more complex food and present it to the warden.
>>
>>348245
"Captain Jack, we have found you and your crew...NOT GUILTY of being part of a secret deep sea cult. But you still did kill military personnel, and for that the manlet is sentenced to have 100 lashings"
"wait what"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348256
Who is gonna lash us is not other than our.... FATHER!!!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348256
Can we pay a fine so our manlet remains not lashed?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348256
bust your fellow nigga out and kill everyone
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348256
Do it. It will build his character and the trauma grant him impressive resistance which will further increase our motor's speed.
We shall compensate manlet with broth so grand it has regenerating properties.
>>
>>348263
After the lashings, the manlet is returned to you and you're free to leave.
He is also in a full body cast due to his injuries
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348266
Make a broth so good he instantly regenerates.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348266
Bestow regenerating broth upon him, and perhaps a bit of elder god stew so that he too may come to possess the same power you wield.
>>
>>348267
Now how is he gonna eat it
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348275
Just dump it on him.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348275
you feed it to him yourself akin to a kindly father, taking great care not to burn him with the hot broth.
>>
>>348280
This reminds you of that time in your childhood
"Daaaaad, this soup's hot! Heeeeelp"
"Eat it yourself ya wuss"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348292
that sucks, vent your anger by spilling hot broth all over him, lol
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348292
You realize now you've grown to be a better person than your bastard of a father and swear vengeance upon him for being such a shitty person.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348292
Treat manlet as if he were your own child and you were the father he never had
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348292
Remind ourself that we should never becoume like our shitty dad.
>>
>>348297
"hah, fag"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348306
No father, you're the fag in this relationship
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348306
Kill 8maginary dad
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348306
REEEEEEEE
>>
>>348309
"lmao you can't even kill the imaginary me, how are you gonna enact vengeance on the real life me, ya huge failure?"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348317
You realize that your dad is a all around better person than you. Its time to stop indulging in your teenage angst.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
Aaaaand Deepsea Paladin arrives to purge the symbiote beast.
>>348317
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348317
Ignore thoughts of your father. head to your brand new kitchen
>>
>>348322
"Alright, I heard some heresy going on around here, c'mon, fess up. Your purging will be slightly less painful"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348332
I thought you guys only purged evil. I haven't done anything truly evil.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348332
fuk off, we are still in a military base, so you can't attack us willy-nilly here. nah nah
>>
>>348332
Add some fins to the helmet, bruh?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348332
I am a mere submarine captain/chef apprentice.
Also how did you get in here?
>>
>>348333
"You ate a man's sandwich, that aint cool"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>348339
Proofs?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348339
I made his sandwich and i'll make him another sandwich.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348339
But by eating that sandwhich I can now make many sandwiches of the same nature
>>
>>348345
"But didn't you already know how to make that sandwich though? Since you made it in the first place?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348352
Escape to the sub!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348352
I forgot and needed to consume the sandwich to regain my lost knowledge.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348352
I mean as many as i want simultaneously while assuring the flavor is the same for all of them.
Make the paladin and everyone in the facility sandwiches AT THE SAME TIME
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348352
Nigga and Orc show up. "Is it that bad?"
>>
>>348356
"We're already in your sub"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348362
And your being attacked by deepsea raider heretics
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348362
please leave
>>
>>348362
And now you the paladin are out side the sub.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348362
Then how the hell did you get inside without an invitation? This is a private party you know. You paladins are supposed to uphold the law, and this means you're trespassing.
>>
>>348364
"And I already purged the sea of their heresy"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348373
GTFO private property
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348373
but the symbiote and I are best buds, isn't that against your creed?!
>>
>>348374
"Actually, we have a warrant"
"We?" asked Steve
"Yes, purging the symbiote was actually just a distraction so my brethren can search your captain's secret stash"
"Brother, we have found the evidence"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348383
Of what exactly? My secret stash is filled with nothing but Submary Jane cookbooks for the underwater explorer.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348383
They open it to find dragon dildos
>>
>>348384
"We found this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8um1N78AhY burried under your cookbooks labeled "Best adaptation ever" you sick bastard"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348392
That's not mine, that belongs to my brother, who used this sub over the weekend!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348392
OK WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHATS DID THIS?
WHO FUCKED WITH MY COOKBOOKS?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348392
You don't understand... no one does! It's a master piece
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348392
"wtf, i don't know who put it in there."
Look accusingly at the manlet
>>
>>348393
MEANWHILE, AT YOUR BROTHER'S SECRET BEACHSIDE GETAWAY
"Hah, got 'im"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348399
curse loudly at your brother
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>348399
Start laughing at a classic big bro prank
>>
>>
>>348403
[laugh track]
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348408
Tell the paladins to please remove that horrifying thing from your sub's interior and apologize for the inconvenience by treating them to some broth.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>348408
Paladins eye you suspiciously
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348408
Paladins detain us
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>348416
Am i being detained?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>348416
get off my ship! STEVE!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348416
Dreach for your wallet
>>
>>348418
"Yes, for having terrible taste"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348429
Resist arrest
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>348429
Tendrils fight back and pushes the pallys out of the air lock.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>348429
Insist on your innocence. Offer them broth and tell them to destroy the damnable thing right here, right now, in front of everyone.
>>
>>348433
The tendrils are also arrested
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348437
but why tho, it wasn't too bad, I liked some parts.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348437
Steve does something awesome to get the Pallys to drop the charges.
>>
>>348440
And with that statement, you went from heresy to double heresy and was immediately arrested and teleported out.
It happened so fast that none of your crewmembers had anytime to react
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348454
Cut to us being in prison again
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348454
These men clearly don't understand our playful jests.
We'll need to find another way around this mess.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348454
Hmmmm I guess the only thing left to do is take a big poop in your pants
>>
>>348460
And they even took away your symbiote. But since they're paladins they were also nice enough to heal your horribly burned skin and put you back inside a uniform. You're still in jail though. With no crew to help you this time.
Your options are:
- Wait until sentence is up
- Wait for crew
- Yell incoherently
- Ask paladins for pardons really nicely
- Offer to make paladins holy broth
- Contact uncle and ask for bail
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>348474
Make holy broth
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348474
Scream railroad at OP.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348474
Contacting your uncle will be the same as rubbing salt and lemon juice on an open wound. We'll save that option for last.
We shall offer to make holy broth and try to confirm if we'll be getting our symbiote back. It only offered resistance because it thought we were in grave danger or something like that.
>>
>>348481
"Nonsense, do not pay attention to this suspicious railroad-like structure"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>348491
Start becoming so religiously fervent the paladins think you must be a messiah
>>
>>348496
"Brother! Look! THe prisoner in cell 23. He's becoming religiously fervent!"
"Eh, trying too hard. Obviously faking it"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>348507
you miss your symbiote
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>348507
Pray to god for a miracle.
>>
>>348515
Sadness overwhelms you as loneliness takes its toll.
THis is surely a great place to put the thread on hold because my headache is only getting worse, see ya next time, in here, the same thread, if it hasn't died by then.Updates n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>348528
Thanks OP
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>348528
Don't die op
>>
>>348532
I won't, having a palm tree branch fall ontop of my head won't kill me. But it does cause headaches.
>>
>>348544
> having a palm tree branch fall ontop of my head won't kill me
Ouch
>>
>>348544
Best wishes OP, stay safe
>>
>
>>
who's still here?
>>
>>359203
sup
>>
>>359206
Eeey Nappy
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359206
True branches fall on paladins
And punch self in face
>>
>>359207
Who is this Nappy you speak of
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359206
The paladins show mercy and throw you a new thread since this one is on autosage
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359209
Thats the nickname we gave you cap'n
>>
>>359212
"What are true branches?"
"They're like tree branches except they also tell the truth"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359214
punch selves in face
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359214
Start a new thread since this one is auto saging
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359214
Demand that they release you
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359214
You turn to your gopnik cellmate and recruit him just to mess with that guy that hates commies
>>
>>359215
Waitaminute, selves?! But there's only you in here!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359221
The Symbiote is still alive somewhere.
Turns out holy magic didn't do anything to it
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359221
Yes right behind you!
>>
>>359223
"It's not like we did anything to it anyway. We just put it in a jar for interrogation"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359226
You didnt tell about my recipes did you?!
>>
>>359227
Ah yes, arrested by the paladins for squatting on holy ground
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359230
Steal his tracksuit
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359230
Someone is knocking on the holy door
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359230
Devise a plan to escape
>>
>>359231
You get into a fight as he resists your theft of his tracksuit
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359234
outsquat him
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359237
Think of an escape plan
>>
>>359238
Thinking...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359240
You get a great idea
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359242
Now make anew thread because this one is saging
>>
>>359244
Will that help you escape?
>>
>>359246
What would op do in a situation like this?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359246
Yes
It's a complicated plan
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359252
Black goo drops from the pally armor, it's your symbiote suit it managed to get away with a little bit of its self.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359252
Gopnik swears allegiance to you while being taken
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359255
It attaches to your finger, hey there little buddy
>>
>>359258
A finger symbiote
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359260
Does it have any ideas on how to bust out?
>>
>>359260
Use it to turn into a key to open the holy door
>>
>>359263
As its entire existence was based on what it learned from you. Its idea is to make some really good broth that the paladins would forgive your shit taste
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359266
How do we get them to forgive me?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359266
Make said broth and rescue Boris the gopnik
>>
>>359267
"Frst you gotta stop being a fag, lmao" said strange neighboring cellmate
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359270
Looks hard, I mean you are still here...
Yell to the gaurds to ready your confession.
>>
>>359271
"Dunno, you've just got here.I don't think you've shown enough good behavior to be put on kitchen duty"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359274
Check around your cell
Maybe there is something we can use?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359274
make broth with bricks and your own tears
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359274
I wanna leave though
>>
>>359275
Let's see, you see in your cell:
-Barred window
-a bed
-a Desk
-laptop with 24/7 internet access
-a stool
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359279
shitpost on the internet
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359279
The horror
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359279
How did you and Boris fit in there
Tell paladins this is not acceptable and that they should release you
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359279
Send a message to your crew saying you've recruited a gopnik
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359286
Hack into the paladin system maybe you symbiot buddy can help
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359286
it turns out you insulted the warden's waifu
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359291
go to deep sea web
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359291
Have boris bust you out. He's russian, they know how to get shit done
>>
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359302
Switch control over to Boris
>>
>>359304
Squatting and contemplating the meaning of life
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359306
Ask for vodka
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359310
Drink and feel the cheeki breeki in your veins
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359316
Hardbass so hard the prison explodes
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359316
Power up and bust out of prison
>>
>>359317
And thus Boris is now free to squat as much as he likes. Captain Jack's still captured though as the exploded part had nothing to do with his cell block. Control over Boris is lost
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359319
Use symbiote finger to unlock cell door, then locate crew.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359319
take advantage of the confusion boris created to escape
>>
>>359321
But your door's still locked
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359322
unlock it
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359322
Man up
Remove door
Find crew
>>
>>359324
Roll 2d100 to remove door
0-9: impossibly terrible failure
10-39: terrible failure
40-79: failure
80-90: success
91-100: Deus Ex Machina and you're suddenly released without any hassle from the paladins
>>
Rolled 67, 84 = 151 (2d100)
>>359327
oh my god jc, a bomb
>>
>>359329
You managed to remove the door
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359330
The door hits a guard in the face
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359330
Sneak away quietly
>>
>>359331
Klank
"Halt!"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359333
Run and hide
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359333
Divekick him
>>
>>359336
Klank
Well taht didn't work
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359338
run like a bitch
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359338
Suddenly demons attack the facility
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359338
Tell him if he joins his crew he can be the paladin rep, and go on wonderful adventures full of purging
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359342
Cultists attack
>>
>>359343
"QUICKLY BROTHERS! DESTROY THE PALADINS! GLORY TO THE ABYSS"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359346
Retrieve your symbiote
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359346
Use this oportunity to get your shit and get out!
>>
>>359350
You escaped the battle with your symbiote
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359351
Get our crew too
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359351
Get to an escape sub, grab boris from whatever squatting dream he's gotten himself into and return to your sub
>>
>>359352
Ah yes, your crew. After you were brought to the paladin prison, which was on land, they docked your sub and have just been hanging around a bar all week
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359357
grab boris, grab the crew, friggin bail.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359357
Goddamnit, fall in sailors! Get to the sub! We got adventuring to do!
>>
>>359358
Boris have squatted beyond your mortal understanding, he is unreachable in the squattoverse
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359360
He's squatting on your captains chair!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359360
summon the gopnik back from the squattoverse with the power of hardbass
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359360
Then grab the crew and get the fuck out of there in our sub.
>>
>>359364
Foolish mortal, the squattoverse is 24/7 hardbass
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359366
Fine i'll take my kompot and go back to the sub with the other guys
>>
>>359367
And so you went to get your crew
"Oh hey cap'n, wassup?"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359371
Come on you asshats, we're going to the subs to drink kompot and vodka... again.
(yes we're going to drive while under influence again)
>>
>>359373
*dive while under the influence
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359375
Where is our Cook we need him to tell us our next location
>>
>>359375
And our sub is Yellow with a red tip remember? Like a mustard bottle for hotdogs.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359375
ram full speed ahead against the cultist's base and claim it for yourself
>>
>>359376
".....Sorry, captain"
"The cook....he...."
"...died.."
"In a tragic cooking accident"
"Ketchup was involved"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359379
You just don't want to draw him any more don't you op
>>
>>359381
"No I don't"
>>
File: 1467626416837.jpg (67KB, 565x580px) Image search:
[Google]
67KB, 565x580px
>>359379
F
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359382
You should be punished op
Orc cook is just busy in the kitchen
>>
>>359384
"You guys are jerks"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359385
OK let's check out some abandoned ships! Mister Steve ahead course..... that way
>>
>>359386
Going thattaway
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359389
Why is my ship white again? I believe we had a yellow sub with a red tip?
BTW watch where you are driving ste- FUCK LOOK OUT STEVE!
>>
>>359391
"Well captain, this is your true punishment from the paladins, they removed your custom paint job an---Ah shit we hit a rock"
>>
>>359392
What's the damage Mr steve
>>
>>359395
"It's not like there's anybody else participating for it to matter anyway-ahem-I mean, no damage captain"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359396
The rock you hit was actually the lost civilization of Antlantis
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359396
Can you blame me? I told you to make a new thread all together, no one knows this thread is alive anymore.
>>
>>359398
"Goddamnit"
"Put all that effort into disguising our city and some asshole's just gonna ram into it accidentally anyway"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359401
Get out the rulesheet that clearly states whoever finds the lost city of Atlantis gets to be the king of Atlantis
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359401
Flip them the bird as you go past
>>
>>359402
Clearly your documents have been tampered with
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359405
So it's mutiny then. Alright, who did this? Whoever comes forward now will only get a light punishment.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359405
Dock in
>>
>>359407"It was me" said the Symbiote
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359409
But why... I trusted you
You were like a brother to me
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359409
B-but why?
>>
>>359411
"I never loved you, it was all a lie"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359415
Light your finger on fire
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359415
That's not true! Symbiot always love their hosts. I was you first love.... you told me that
>>
>>359417
"What's he doing?"
"I...I don't know"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359422
It turns out the finger symbiotic was a figment of your imagination all along, but now your finger is on fire which looks cool
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359422
We looked so rad together!
Why would you want to destroy that?
>>
>>359425
"So why is he talking to his finger?"
"I don't know! He's drunk?"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359428
Point finger at your crewmates
"NEVER TRUST A SYMBIOTE"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359428
eat some more tentacle to fuel your actual symbiote powers and become sober once again
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359428
Well looks like the symbiote is dead...
But hey were kings of atlantis!
>>
>>359433
"Now he's claiming to be the king of atlantis"
"That's just weird"
"Indeed it is, Mr Symbiote, indeed it is"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359437
MEANWHILE
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359437
Wait Mr. Symbiote? Who's the guy in the middle of you three?
>>
>>359439
"What? You mean Mr Symbiote? He's a symbiote, captain"
>>
>>359440
Oh well then... who wants to go in atlantis?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359440
eat more tentacle in order to grow sober and share its elder goodness with Mr Symbiote
>>
>>359443
"Sorry cap'n, all outta tentacles. We...kinda ate them all while you were away. There was a betting game, you see. Whoever loses had to eat a tentacle. We played like 50 rounds"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359447
Sweet jesus, what do we have left for food?
>>
>>359448
"Mountains of canned food, cap'n"
"And one single roasted ham, but I'm saving that for special occasions"
>>
>>359451
Hmmmmm let's check out atlantis, I'm sure they have food for their new king.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359451
Oh geeze that's practically inedible
You really wasted our only truly edible food on a betting game, I can't believe it
>>
>>359455
"It was a very high stakes betting game cap'n"
FLASHBACK TO WHEN YOU WERE STILL IN JAIL
"HAHA! I HAVE THE HAT! NOW I AM THE CAPTAIN! EAT YOUR TENTACLES, LOSERS!"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359462
Man I hate that game
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359462
Walk around atlantis accompanied by your crew and Mr. Syms (yes we're going to call the symbiote Mr Syms) while you sober the fuck up and search for food
>>
>>359464
STILL IN FLASHBACKLAND
"OH MAN THIS GAME IS AWESOME!"
"YEAH!"
"WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT MUST BE A LOSER!"
"YEEEAAAHHH"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359473
Cry
>>
>>359476
"BOO! BOO! BOO!"
"GO BACK TO SUCKING DIRT, LANDFAGS"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359481
Bond with mr syms and assume tentacled horror form again
>>
>>359482
"BAAANDWAGONING FAGGGG"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359488
Cook them
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359488
perform a feat they could never hope to accomplish.
Do boris proud and squat.
>>
>>359493
You can't start a fire underwater
>>
>>359500
Sous vide them.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359500
Sushi
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359500
Start screaming as loud as you can
>>
>>359504
"Hah! Weeaboo" said the manlet
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359510
Rename it Faglantis
>>
>>359514
"Hah! Hipster"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359518
Please you wish you were literally half the man i am.
>>
>>359520
"Nah, I like Wilson more"
"Please dont drag me into this" said Wilson, commie hater and wanting-to-remain-neutral-guy
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359530
Ok, lets just sous vide the fuckers. manlet can starve since he's being a whiny bitch.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359530
Kick the baby
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359530
Oh look, it's a tentacle beast, ripe for harvesting!
>>
>>359536
"Excuse me, landfag. This is a protected species. Kindly fuck off"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359543
eat him
instead
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359543
have sex with it
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359543
Obsorb
>>
>>359550
Ob...sorb?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359553
CONSUME
>>
>>359553
Call Atlantians "Seamen"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359553
Fish version of absorb
>>
>>359557
"GUARDS!"
You ahve alerted Atlantis
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359563
You mean Faglantis
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359563
Oh goodie... Seconds...
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359563
start consuming all of Atlantis
>>
>>359565
For that remark, the cook was shot in the leg
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359572
Cook and rest of the crew also awaken symbiotes due to physical and emotional trauma, and start consuming atlantis alongside you.
>>
>>359573
"Look! It's trying to eat us with its gaping maw!"
"Let's not be dumbasses who run straight into it and stand back while we shoot this totally weak laser beam at it"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359583
Shoot streams of boiling water at them since the symbiote also fused with the flamethrower you had.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359583
Atlantian Paladins on the scene
>>
>>359583
eat the laser.
Then them
>>
>>359585
Roll 2d100 to shoot boiling streams of water
0-9: impssibly terrible failure
10-39: very terrible failure
40-69: terrible failure
70-89: failure
90-100: success
>>
Rolled 27, 60 = 87 (2d100)
>>359592
>>
Rolled 27, 46 = 73 (2d100)
>>359592
say something stupid while you do it
>>
Rolled 23, 88 = 111 (2d100)
>>359592
HERE WE FUCKING GO
>>
Rolled 82, 17 = 99 (2d100)
>>359592
>>
>>359593
pssssh
"Meh, that was nothing. Fire the laser!"
Note: do not eat the laser
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359602
Trying to solo everyone was a bad idea. Go back to your sub while dodging lasers and BTFO Atlantis.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359602
Squat beneath the lazer and have steve reflect it back at them with a big mirror.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359602
eat the fucking laser
Just do it
>>
>>359605
Escaping...
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359610
"Hey 'Seaman' do you have a pet Swallow?"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359610
you reach your sub and activate its laser to return the favor.
>>
>>359612
The Seaman can't hear you as you don't know how to talk underwater like the Seamen do
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359615
Lmao seamen
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359615
write in in the sand
>>
>>359616
Seaman still don't get it
>>
>>359622
A sudden sea current swoops by and erased your writing before he could read it
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359631
he is distracted
The Seaman cannot come too fast now!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359631
wtf go back to your sub already
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359634
just eat the fool while he is distracted
>>
>>359635
whoosh
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359639
Shoot your death beam at them, we still got that right?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359639
aim that weapon you got form looting the not so ancient evil and fire it at the seamen
>>
>>359642
"Look! The landfags are charging their laser!"
"Quick! Alert the king!"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359652
The king is dead
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359652
laser implodes on itself
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359652
Shoop da whoop
>>
>>359658
"Hey guys, what's going on?"
"MY KING! THE LANDLUBBERS HAVE FIRED A LASER AT US"
"Oh you mean that beam over there?"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359664
King decides to join our crew moments before his death
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359664
king blocks the lazer
>>
>>359669
"Nah"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359679
consume him
with your tentacles
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359679
aim the beam at his ppl instead of at him obviously, faglantis BTFO
>>
>>359686
He then neutralizes your beam with his own
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359690
kamikaze him
>>
>>359693
"I don't think performing a suicide dive against this guy is a good idea captain"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359697
do it anyway
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359697
just do it
listen to your captian
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359697
any good ideas on how to win this, m8?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359697
Fiiine use Robot mode
>>
>>359703
"Run the fuck away" the cook chimes in
"Yeah, that" said Steve
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359707
kiss the cook
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359707
Running is for chumps, challenge the king to a one on one combat.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359717
alright retreat
since that what my pussy crew wants to do
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359717
Activate it
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359717
Manlet takes over the helm
>>
>>359720
"Nigga please, do you want your adventure to end in just two threads or sumthin"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359728
Start looking for sea urchins
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359728
use the the eject button
fuck the crew go solo and get a new sub
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359728
Keep soaring up until you reach the stars
>>
>>359733
You already reached one
A star
fish
>>
>>359740
"C'mon cap, don't be such a grumpy baby"
But it's too late, you ahve already escaped in your tiny mini sub
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359748
Inspired by your bravery they turn the sub around to join you
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>359748
start working for a happy merchant so that you can get a corporation class sub and some decent augs.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359748
go apologise to the seamen king
tell him your old crew s fault you attacked and ask for a sub
>>
>>359754
"THAT'S A LIE, MY LORD. HIS CREW DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA!"
"HE ATTACKED FIRST!"
"HE TRIED TO EAT AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!"
"HE ATE JOE!"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359758
the chef has mind controlling powers
I dindu nothing
>>
>>359758
wew, turn back around and go work for a corporation.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)
OP slaps anons for trying to railroad a thread
>>359758
>>
>>359760
"NONSENSE! ORCS DON'T HAVE THAT POWER!"
"WE EVEN SHOT THE CHEF IN THE LEG! IF HE ACTUALLY WAS CONTROLLING THIS LYING FUCKER'S MIND, THE CONTROL WOULD HAVE DROPPED BY THEN"
"BUT THIS LANDFAG KEPT BEING AN ASSHOLE ANYWAY!"
"EXECUTE HIM!"
"YES, THAT'S RIGHT! EXECUTE HIM!"
"KILL THIS CRIMINAL!"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359770
you get chased out by a angry mob
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359770
And our hero dies
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359770
suddenly paladins
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359783
find some other adventure place or something
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359783
suddenly communists
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359783
go enlist in a military
>>
>>359789
You gotta escape the angry seamen first
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359794
Rejoin your crew and say nothing about what just happened
It's simply too embarassing
Tell them to fire at the monsters tho
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359794
Hide in a barrel of illegally dumped toxic waste
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359794
your old crew picks you up and saves you.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359794
get into sub, dive away from mob
>>
>>359799
MEANWHILE
"Well guys, should we pick him up and save him from the angry seamen?"
"I dunno, he did abandon us and wanted to go solo"
"Yeah but he's dead without us! He's a complete wuss in combat"
"Indeed, absolutely useless"
"Total failure"
"Yep, a weakling"
"..."
"What are we talking about again"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359807
Just go save him, or you'll become plot irrelevant
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359807
Check our stat sheet
>>
>>359813
"PLus ya know, he'd be dead"
"Is that bad?"
"That'll mean not only we cease to become plot relevant, we'll also cease to become anything. Since the adventure'd end"
"Oh right"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>359821
meanwhile you reach your minisub and got the fuck outta dodge.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359821
how about we find a new, better captain?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359821
Let's decide what to do by a game of rock paper scissors.
>>
>>359826
"Hmmm, interesting proposition, cadet anon. What do you guys think?"
"I dunno..."
"C'mon Steve, you're only hesistating because he was your room mate"
"He still hasn't paid his share of the rent! I need the fucker"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359834
promote anon to captain
Hes the main character now
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359834
we'll just dock the new caps wage, until the rent is paid
>>
>>359837
"You be the captain anon, since you proposed the idea. Here, have this spare hat"
"Hope you don't die on your first day"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359844
Anon gets into a "accident". rest in pieces
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359844
Original captain bursts in and stabs captain anon with a spear
>>
>>359847
"OH MY GOD! Captain Anon is dead!"
"What? HOw?!"
"He died in a tragic masturbating accident?"
"What"
"He jerked it too hard and ripped his own dick off then died from the blood loss"
"RIP"
>>
>>359852
back to the main story,
old cap gets saved by cultists
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359852
Meanwhile, the capt managed to escape his pursuers
>>
>>359859
And so Old Cap'n Jack was saved, by the deep sea cultists of all people.
"Greetings fellow enemy of Atlantis"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359867
Actually I am the unrecognized King of Atlantis
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>359867
politely ask for sub and a new crew
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>359867
they are actually paladins under disguise here to take you back to jail
>>
>>359870
"Now now, we're a deep sea cult bent on sinking the entire world into the abyss so we can all become one with the ocean, not a charity. We can't just give subs and crews all willy nilly to random people we find! That'd be weird. First you have to meet our spiritual leader so he can determine what your role will be within our collective"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359876
Agree with him and meet his leader.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359876
I really just need some cash to pay back Steve.
Can we do that?
>>
>>359879
You are then lead into a throne room.
"Greetings, oh spritual leader! We have brough a potential recruit before you!"
"Oh? Have you, now?"
"Yes, great one. We found him running from an angry mob of atlantean seamen"
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359897
Tell him how you were touched by the deep old ones while knocked out in an army prison and how you consumed the fragment of an elderbeast.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359897
He identifies you in one glance as the true King of Atlantis, the forgotten heir to the throne
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>359897
offer to cook the ebst broth he ever tasted
>>
>>359901
"By the abyss! Brothers! This man is indeed the true King of Atlantis, the forgotten heir to the throne of the ocean!"
"He is?!"
"He is! Leave! Leave this chamber now! So I may inform the Sea King of his true heritage! It is not mean for ears of commoners such as you"
"Right away, spiritual leader"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359913
He whispers "dicks" in your ear
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359913
Just kidding man, YOU, a true king? LMAO
>>
>>359920
"Indeed, yours is a legacy of dicks, lmao"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359926
"Uncle Jimmy what the FUCK are you doing here"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359926
The king of atlantis is basically the biggest faggot ever, and you are king faggot, so that makes you king of atlantis.
Join me and I can install you as king in your rightful place or whatever
>>
>>359934
"Well duh, I installed myself as the spiritual leader of this deep sea cult so i can manipulate them into doing my bidding under the guise of furthering the goal of sinking the world. But in truth I'm using them to amass enough power to destroy your other uncle, this smug cunt"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>359935
But he does pretty good pranks, what's the matter can't handle a little banter?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>359957
Fair enough. Can i join? Some old god thing told me shit while i was knocked out in an army prison. Also ate a bit of this tentacle monster and got superpowers for a while... that was fun.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359957
What do i have to do to get a sub and a crew from you?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359957
can you get my crew back here so I can adventure some more?
>>
>>359965
"Fucking nothing, man. You're my nephew! C'mon! Uncle Jimmy'll take care of ya. We'll just tell the cultists you need a sub and a crew to embark on your glorious journey to reclaim your Atlantean throne and they'll be none the wiser. You can just not attack Atlantis if you want, just tell them you're grinding for levels until you're strong enough to claim your rightful place as the Sea King. Which is actually kinda sorta your right, since the current sea king's your half brother. Anyway, how have you been, Jack? What were you doing down here in the first place?"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359980
can most of them be orcs...
I have a thing for Orcs
>>
>>359986
"Ah yes, an orc fetishist are you, I see, I see. We're family so I won't judge. Just like that time with your dad"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>359997
Shut up about my old man and give me my crew of Orc Waifus!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>359997
You mean the time he fucked a seawoman and made me?
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>359997
Please tell me about that time with my dad.
>>
>>360000
"Is that whe he tells you? That's how the current sea king and your half brother was born. You, in fact was from that time when he fornicated with an elderbeast. That's why you're so attuned to deep sea symbiotes."
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>360011
Wow that's all interesting and fascinating too, but in this underwater world, what is there to do?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>360011
shit ..... orc waifus NOW
froth at the mouth
>>
>>360015
"Oh I dunno, finding treasures, discovering lost civilizations, battling deep horrors, fish fornicating, swimming, dining on kelp, creating a deep sea cult, mining for oil, organizing a deep sea tourist cruise, etc..."
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>360035
Well I've done like half of those things, I guess I'll set up a deep sea tourist cruise
>>
>>360042
"Very well, we even had a cruise-class sub in our possession. Stolen from your smug cunt of a uncle's company. Hah, showed him"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>360050
Cool, thanks Uncle
Let's go select some crew From the lineup
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>360050
Ok mostly Orcs like you promised Uncle
>>
>>360057
"Of course, just remember to keep up the act of being the chosen king of atlantis. Now...ORCS!"
"Yes, spritiual leader?"
"The rightful heir to the Atleantean throne requires a new vessel and crew. Get the Cruise-class sub we have and join him as his loyal servants"
"Of course, spiritual leader"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>360050
Check your character sheet to see what you need to focus on leveling 1st. You'll want to help your uncle later on in case he needs it.
>>
Suddenly, death
>>
>>360113
what? you died op?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>360119
Op is literally dead right now
>>
>>360119
No, because suddenly nobody replies to post
>>
Welp, since literally no new action is posted, guess that's it for this thread. See you next time or whatever
Updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>360081
save game
>>
>>360137
I thought that 10 was the post, so that's why I didn't post.... ohwell. I'm sleepy any ways.
>>
>>360137
my bad op. i replied to the wrong one
>>
>>360155
shame on thee, shaaaaammmmeeee
>>
>>360147
That's what I thought too woops lmaoing my ass off
>>
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>>360163
into the shame box then
>>
>>360174
Shameful ones don't get to have captain hats
>>
>>360184
Aw common give it bak to him, he's hurting enough
>>
>>360184
A-apologies anon, trying to make creme brulée while replying is apparently too hard for me.
>>
>>360204
Indeed. May i roll to see how shameful it is?
>>
>>360204
I'm gonna go to the irs orc and have him send you an audit.
>>
>>360211
Sure. Roll 1d100 with 1 being no shame and everyother number being EXTREMELY SHAMEFUL (ascending)
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)
>>360218
the shame beckons
>>
>>360225
That's pretty shameful
>>
>>360225
An 81 on the shame scale. Oh my...
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)
>>360225
Roll to double shame anon
>>
>>360243
Half as shameful, but still pretty shamful
>>
>>360248
Apologies OP but while i'd like to continue wallowing in shame, my shame brulée requires me to shamefully keep an eye on it and stir it in order to come out perfectly shameful.
Shame
>>
>>360296
what a shame
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