Prison Break

Wait until it is my floor's turn.

>>33519
But which crime did you commit?

>>33526
Stealing government memes

>>33500
>"INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE!" (Charisma: 10/20, Sneakiness: 10/20, Combat: 5/20, Notoriety: 4/20)

Lets be the pedo. Wait for now. Try to avoid rape.

You patiently stare at the wall as Jamal looks on with lustful eyes as you wait for 11AM.
--
The guards come and let you out of your cell. You quickly dart away from Jamal, who has been talking about introducing you to some homies recently, and make your way into the activity hall. Open now is the library, the office of the guy who will assign you a job, the commissary, the doctor's office, and a phone bank. Where do you go?

Library - You can research things like law or chemistry or whatever, or you can choose a fiction book and waste your time.
Job guy - You can get a job in the kitchen maybe, or perhaps doing laundry. Who knows what fun items you may find.
Commissary - You can buy things. But you don't have any money. Get a job, loser!
Doctor - Maybe you should ask for an STD test? Or maybe there are other nice things there to take.
Phone bank - Make a phone call. You have no money, so people may not like being called collect.
Back to the commons - You can join a gang, get shanked, or just loiter.

>>33637
Get a job

>>33637
>Library - You can research things like law or chemistry or whatever, or you can choose a fiction book and waste your time.

>>33637
>Get a job.
Preferably in Laundry. You can sneak into a clothes bin as it's being Shipped off to contraband. Maybe get a guards uniform

>>33674
"Alright Mr.... Prisoner. Your file says that you have been a life long NEET. That's pretty pathetic. You're going to have to do menial labor. However, since you're not a violent offender, there are several options available to you. We have an opening in the kitchen where you can peel potatoes, you can do custodial work, you can work in the laundry room, or you can work as a gardener. All are going to pay 5$/day. What would you be the best cut out for?"

You consider your options:

Kitchen - You might have access to knives. That might be useful.
Janitor - You might be able to get some ammonia or bleach or other harsh chemicals.
Laundry - You might could get a new set of clothes, or sneak away.
Gardener - You'll be outside with little supervision, possibly with tools.

---
You make your choice and he tells you that the guards will come and get you tomorrow after your time in the commons. It is now 12PM. You feel like going to the library. You walk around the stacks and finally settle on reading about...

Law - Play the long game, wait for an appeal.
Chemistry - Fuck yeah, science.
Magic tricks - Sleight of hand is useful.
Tabloids - Faggot

>>33808
What >>33727 said for the job. Then read about magic tricks.

>>33808
>Chemistry - Fuck yeah, science.

Rolled 18, 8 = 26 (2d20)

>>33844
You spend until 1:30PM reading about the tricks people like Houdini used to escape handcuffs and make elephants disappear. First roll over 10 increases your sneakiness. You also picked up a book on introductory university chemistry. It looks like it has never been read. Second roll over 10 increases your combat.

At 2:45, the loudspeaker announces that you need to return to your cell. You do and prepare for a night of rape.
---
A new day dawns. Your asshole is notably less sore than usual, since Jamal was too fucked up on an alcohol made from bleach to get hard. You go through the usual routine, and it is almost 11AM, time outside of the cell. That also means that it is almost four hours until have to go to work in the laundry room. What will you do?

Same options as yesterday.

>>33950
Library. Read more chemistry to improve combat.

Rolled 17, 14, 3 = 34 (3d20)

>>34022
You spend the time reading up on chemistry, which improves your combat by one if each of the first two rolls are over 10, for some reason, likely because someone didn't think that part through and it has to have some effect.
--
Three O' Clock rolls around. You return to your cell and are soon after retrieved by a guard to go to the laundry room for your shift. You are partnered with a nice young neo-nazi named Tommy (Charisma: 7, Sneakiness: 7, Combat: 13, Notoriety: 7). Since your charisma is 10, you need roll over 10 on the third roll to befriend him. Together, you pull sheets and uniforms out of the drier and put them into a bin, then push them over to the ones folding them.

Guards walk around to inspect work and periodically correct the prisoners. Up on the catwalk, there are two guards with rifles.

>>34125
Your stats are now Charisma: 10/20, Sneakiness: 11/20, Combat: 7/20, Notoriety: 4/20. Tommy isn't impressed with you and is unlikely to cooperate. What do you do?

Work hard for the day. - Pussy.
Try to escape. - Write in your plan.

>>34152
>Work hard for the day.
Arbeit macht frei.

Or at least provides decent exercise.

>>34152
>Work hard for the day.
We need to gain trust

>>34342
You fall into a routine of pulling out the sheets and putting them into the bin. Not exciting, you it is a job that pays 1.25$/hour. It's pretty close to 7PM. You sigh as you are lead back to your cell for another night of rape.
--
Another day down, twenty five thousand, five hundred and forty one left to go. What's your daily routine now?

Same options as yesterday.

>>34460
We must learn the art of acting in the library! QUICK!

>>34460
>Magic tricks
Sneaky shit for to make stop rape.

Like lining your butt with razorblades.

Rolled 14, 12 = 26 (2d20)

>>34570
>>34597
You pick up Mien Kampf and your trusty copy of Magic Tricks. First roll for charisma and the second for sneakiness.

You don't have any razor blades. Perhaps the doctor may have some?

You read the books. It is now 2PM. One hour until work.

>>34666
Your stats are now Charisma: 11/20, Sneakiness: 12/20, Combat: 7/20, Notoriety: 4/20. You have one hour left to kill. What do you do?

>>34666
>>34685
Go to the doctor and steal some scalpels.

>>34744
You leave the library and head to the doctor's office. Inside, there are two guard and a nurse. You approach the nurse and ask to see the doctor. One guard leads you back and stands outside the door when the doc comes in. He asks you what the problem is. What do you tell him?

>>34819
Completely stone-faced tell him "anal fissures totally not caused by rape because no one gets raped in prison".

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>34872
Roll over 9 for that to work.

>>34872
"Turn over and I'll take a look." Holy hell this doctor is stupid.

You roll over and spread your cheeks wide, a position you have become quite accustomed with recently. You hear a pop as he puts a set of rubber gloves. He is much more gentle than Jamal when his finger penetrates your anus and moves from side to side.

"Hmmm, how strange. Your sphincter is as perforated as a paper towel. Are you sure you weren't raped? Sometimes they strangle you until you pass out you know. Nothing to be done about it anyway though, I guess. Hold still while I go look in the medical books."

You are left alone in a room with several drawers. You don't know what's in them. There is a guard outside the doorway. What do you do?

>>34908
BASED
While he examines our bright-red, cum-leaking anus, look around for anything sharp and hide it if possible.

Rolled 18, 20, 20, 13, 6, 18, 4, 9 = 108 (8d20)

>>35021
You dig through the drawers. First roll over 10 to get a scalpel, second to get a syringe. Third roll over 8 means you are sneaky enough to rummage again.

Rolled 12, 16, 9 = 37 (3d20)

>>35082
Holy shit, you got a scalpel, a syringe, and you get to dig some more.

>>35006
Find something you can use to draw a phallus later.

>>35100
Hah! Jamal is fucked!

>>35103
The doctor left his clipboard. You steal the felt-tipped pen clipped on the side.

You now have 2 scalpels, 2 syringes, and a pen. You are getting nervous that the doctor will return soon. Where do you hide the items?

>>35143
In your shoes, careful not to fuck up your foot

>>35143
In our shoes.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>35162
>>35164
You put the items in your shoes. Roll over an 8 to not slice your foot open.

You are laying faced down on the bed with your anus spread when he walks back in the room.

>>35197
Try not to shit in his face.

>>35162
It's fine. Scalpels are stored in these foil pouches and syringes have caps.

Unless we took used ones and the doctor is so incompetent as to not throw them out.

>>35197
See
>>35215
We probably still didn't slice our foot

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>35197
Fuck, now you are bleeding. It's not bad though, you'll deal with it.

>>35213
Roll over 3 to not shit in the doctor's face.

>>35255
Tell the doctor your foot was sliced open
Make up some bullshit story and don't let him notice what's hidden in your shoe

>>35255
Think about that time you licked a battery at a gas station. Good times. You still have that battery, somewhere in your skeleton

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>35255
"Well, it looks like the only option is surgery or to let it scar over. I can schedule you in for a surgery in-"

"Yeah, that's great doctor, but actually, I kind of have a problem with my foot. I think I stepped on a nail or something. Hold on, I'll show it to you." Roll over 8 to successfully hide the stuff from him.

>>35314
I like to suck rocks.

>>35314
Oh fuck! He sees the scalpels! What do you do?!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>35314

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>35358
Ignore, wrong thread

>>35330
"Oh fug, is this what I've been walking around on? Let's just toss these out!"

>>35330
Shit in his face kindly

>>35383
lmao this went badly fast

Rolled 2, 9 = 11 (2d20)

>>35383
Roll over 9 for him to buy that shit. Roll over 8 to only have to throw out one scalpel and one syringe.

>>35394
You've already turned around.

>>35409
Then just shit there. I just want him to shit.

>>35409
Start spinning in the air, shitting and screaming.

>>35409
He's about to yell for the guard now! You've got only a second to think! What do you do?

>>35425
grab scalpel and slit his throat

Stab him in the neck with a syringe.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>35425
say that we were trying to stop our cell mate from raping us

try to get some pity

>>35425
Slice his jugular with the scalpel and push his body behind the table

Poop him in the face

>>35457
>>35462
jesus guys, the guard's right outside. We weren't even a violent offender, just some NEET. We can escape without killing an innocent man

>>35425
Swallow his head with our ass.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>35462
>>35469
You quickly stab at the doctor with the scalpel in the left hand and the syringe in the right. Roll over 13 to kill him, and over 8 for whatever that happens to not attract the guard.

>>35463
second! He's seen our ass, he will pity us.

>>35486
It's either this or get raped which would you prefer?

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>35508
Holy fuck, you just murdered a doctor for no real reason. Your notoriety rises by 3. Now roll for whether or not the guard hears.

>>35529
Wear his clothes and hide body

>>35529
Aren't you lucky. You are now in a room with a bloody corpse, with a prison guard standing right outside, and you are armed with only couple of scalpels and syringes. Luckily, the guard must be deaf. But you will still have to pass by him to leave. What do you do now?

>>35514
id rather our cell mate get solitary or something

but now we have to take the Doc's clothing and pretend to be him

Rolled 18 (1d20)

Poop on the body

>>35563
call in the guard in our best doctor voice

neck stab once he closes the door

>>35563
Hide the body, and ask the guard where the doctor went. Then run.

>>35563
Hide the body, take his wallet and name tag and shit, pretend you're the doctor.

Say a wizard teleported in and kidnapped the doctor and hide the corpse in a closet.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>35559
>>35564
You drag the doctor's body into the room with the medical books. You wear his clothes which are covered in blood. Luckily, there is a second coat in his room, so you wear that instead.

>>35577
You calm yourself, stand behind the door, then yell "Guard, help!". Roll over 8 to get him in the neck, otherwise this has to go to combat rolls.

>>35633
Wew lad, aren't you lucky. You close the door. There is now another corpse in the doctor's office. He has a flashlight, a baton, an ID card, and a set of keys.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>35633
Let your kinky necrophilia impulses control you

>>35656
Take everything, then call the nurse in and kill her too.

Wash the guards uniform and impersonate him.

>>35656
Hide corpses, treat foot, grab card, keys and flashlight

>>35656
arm up and radio in a sighting of a breakout on the opposite side of the prison

>>35656
Wear his uniform, especially if it has a helmet. Hide his gear and yours in it.

>>35656
Put the doctor in your prison jumpsuit and the guard in the doctors clothes while you wear the guards clothes.after that call other guards saying there saying some prisoner went ape shit.

>>35702
And you know, make it look like a stabbing.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>35659
Only available in the pedo route.

>>35675
As you loot this man's corpse, you take a moment to think about what has just happened. You went from a harmless NEET nerd who got caught downloading shitty romantic comedy movies, and now you are a serial murderer after a week.

Fuck it though. It's too late to go back. You call down the hallway "nurse, can you help me for a second?". Roll over an 8 to do the same as you did to the doctor.

>>35724
And get their finger prints on the scalpels. And get their blood on each other.

>>35742
man, a week of assrape made a NEET into a skillful assassin

I was wondering how they were trained

>>35742
There's a third dead body now. She has an ID card, another set of keys, and a picture of her and a man, presumably her husband, holding a small toddler.

You set to work changing the clothes of the bodies. The doctor is now wearing your prison uniform, you are wearing the guard uniform, and the guard is wearing the doctor uniform. You are covered in blood. What do you do now?

>>35742
Wear the nurse's clothes and be a cute trap

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>35742
Surely a heterosexual male wouldn't miss a chance to boink a hot nurse, right?

>>35788
Look around for weapons.

Stab yourself in the arm and call in guards saying a prisoner went crazy.

>>35788
Go to the guards and say some fucking nigs tried to rape you, taking this chance to beat the shit out of jamal.

>>35814
supporting this

see if we can combine the scalpel blades with the baton to make a slicey club

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>35789
You are far too ugly to be a cute trap, and there are no hormones in the office.

>>35813
You cannot achieve erection in the current situation.

>>35814
Roll over 14 to find a gun in the doctor's desk.

>>35831
You walk out of the room, intent on stomping Jamal's head into the floor, but there is the second guard still in the waiting room.

>>35869
GUN GET

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>35788
We're Fucking that nurse even if she's dead.
At the very least getting to touch the boob

>>35869
You find a .22 revolver locked in the doctor's desk. Lucky you had the key. You are wielding when you approach the area where the second guard can see you. What do you do?

>>35869
well damn, guess we got a glock

scope out the room from around the corner

>>35869
Shoot the guard.

>>35894
Fucking twenty.

>>35897
Don't use the gun unless absolutely neccesary. Try to slip past first in the uniform.

Aqquire gun
Use scalpel to cut hair like doctors (if he's bald) and take his glasses if he has them, along with car keys. Stuff shoes with paper or something under heel if he's taller than you, were trying to look just like him so we can get out of here.

>>35897
Shoot that nigga

>>35869
Bust into the room, with /pol/ in your heart, /b/ falling out you pockets and /k/ cold steel in your hands give a speech that out does Hitler for hate on the blacks getting everyone to George Zimmerman this shit.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>35928
THIS

>>35894
You touched it when you murdered her.

>>35906
>>35900
>>35918
>>35923
>> bunch of others
Let's do this formally. Do we...

OPEN FIRE! - There won't be much opportunity for stealth after this. Roll over 10 to kill.
Try to walk past - Roll over 8 to succeed. If it fails, it goes to combat, which is 13.
Observe...

First four votes are counted.

>>35976
Observe

>>35976
Try to walk past.

>>35976
>Try to walk past

>>35976
Obvserve quietly

>>35976
Observe

FIRE

Rolled 4 (1d20)

STEALTH PEW PEW IT

Rolled 14 (1d20)

Before turning the corner, you take a moment to observe.

Over 10 roll: The guard is lazily waiting out a boring day, and seems more interested in reading a magazine than on guarding.

Under 10 roll: The guard is alert, and is getting a bit suspicious. This examination is taking longer than usual and the nurse hasn't come back yet. He has his hand on his radio.

>>36048
He's bored and not paying attention. Walk passed him casually.

>>36063
Wearing the doctor's uniform of course

Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>36063
Roll over 8 for this to work, with +4 bonus because he is slacking off.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>36048
Tell him the nurse rushed to the other side of the prison. Preferably a route far from the easiest way out, to make the hard route harder. Because you're a fucking badass that puts what happened in Sandy hook to shame.

>>36079
You're wearing the guard's uniform right now. The dead guard is wearing the doctor's uniform.

>>36063
You easily slip past, and the other guard barely looks up.

You're now in the hallway. It is 2:30PM. You will be missed if you are not in your cell at 3PM. There is a guard station at the end of the hall you can access with your ID card, but the other guards might not recognize you. The administrative offices are also accessible to guards from that location. You may also go anywhere else in the hall, or to the commons.

>>36127
What do we have?

>>36127
Pull a fire alarm.

>>36141
I like this. Escape in the commotion.

Go to your cell lead Jamal to the doctors office once there beat him and call for guards saying he chimped out.

>>36141
If we find Jamal in the crowd of running prisoners, beat him up with the baton

>>36141
Say there's a quarentine issue with some bio-whatever to scare everyone further.

>>36135
You have the doctor's keys, the nurse's keys, the guard's keys, the doctor's ID card, the nurses ID card, the guard's ID card, 2 scalpels, 2 syringes, 1 pen, a flashlight, a baton, a family photo of the nurse, and a .22 revolver with 5 rounds in it.

>>36141
>>36150
You pull the fire alarm on the wall. Water pours from overhead sprinklers and the loud speaker orders all prisoners onto the ground or they will be shot. Whatever the equivalent of a SWAT team is for prisons is begins swarming the area, followed by a team with fire extinguishers.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>36210
Oh, and the guards in the guard station swarm out to pacify the prisoners. Roll over 8 for them to not bother you.

>>36229
fugggg

>>36229
Fuck.

"What happened? Where is the fire?" one asks while the other bashes a prisoner who is only crouching with the but of his rifle.

>>36261
>BIO LEAK IN THE SAMPLE COLLECTION ROOM, GET OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY

or something

>>36261
"In the examination room!"

>>36229
Cut your forehead with one of the scalpels before turning around, saying some nigger assaulted you, pulled the fire alarm and ran off.

Start beating prisoners to not look suspicious.

>>36261
Join the other guy beating prisoners.

>>36279
you're a doctor, dont draw more attention to yourself

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>36271
>>36275
>>36277
"A prisoner murdered the doctor and the nurse and is now attempting the start a fire with the medical ether!," you frantically say. Roll over 9 to have him believe this!

>>36296
>You're wearing the guard's uniform right now.

>>36311
fugg

>>36296
You're wearing the guard uniform.

>>36311
He looks at you with suspicion and grips his rifle a little tighter as he brings it up. "I haven't seen you on the force before...". What do you do?

>>36337
New employee! First day on the job!!

>>36337
Dude, I'm a newbie. No love for the newbs?
Don't be rude, man.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36341
Roll over 9 to have him believe this.

>>36337
"What the fuck did you just say you fucking bitch? I graduated at the top of my navy seal class..."

>>36337
>I'm usually outside dealing with liberal protesters who want Jamals to be free.

>>36341
>>36349
"Oh, right, I think I saw you in training a while back now that I think about it." He relaxes a little bit, and grabs his radio. "We've got a code 145234 in the medical examination room, repeat, 145234 in the medical examination room!" "Copy that, sending a squad there now."

"Alright rookie, you stay here and keep these prisoners in line." He and the other guard with him run into the doctor's office.

What do you do now?

>>36402
Guard room. Try to find a rifle.

>>36402
You have to get the fuck out before he comes back. Act tough but walk towards the exit.

>>36402
beat up some minorities for resisting

gotta be IC, other guards will be suspicious if we dont

Beat Jamal if he's here.

>>36402
NO! We can't let jamal get away with any teeth left in his mouth.

>>36402
They left, so escape!

>>36450
>>36459
This, go get revenge

>>36422
>>36429
You walk calmly to the guard station and open it with the guard's ID card. Inside there is a series of computer monitors with camera feeds. There is a locker open, with two 12 gauge shotguns, a bean bag gun, riot gear, tear gas, and extra ammunition for the rifles those guards had. There is a door leading to the admin offices, a locker room, and of course, the door back to the hallway to the commons.

What do we do?

>>36475
Take the shotgun and go find Jamal. His head must have as many holes in it as our asshole does.

Find Jamal and get revenge.

>>36475
Equip the riot gear. Grab the shotgun and tear gas. Hunt down Jamal.

>>36475
Fuck up Jamal. Tell anyone who asks that he was resisting.

>>36491
>>36493
You grab the shotgun and gas, equip the riot gear, and head back into the prison. You hear on the loud speaker that the prison is on lockdown. But you blend right in. You go into the second floor and find your sell. You find Jamal inside, sucking Tommy's dick. What do you do?

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>36475
Use the tear gas on Jews

>>36547
Let him suck on our shotgun instead <3.

>>36547
Gas them. Don't make their deaths so easy.

>>36547
NO FAGS IN MY PRISON
Kill them both.

>>36547
Ask Tommy if you can share the nigger, white brother to white brother.

Ram the shotgun up Jamal's ass.

>>36561
The warden is still in his office.

>>36573
>>36574
You shove the shotgun in Jamal's mouth and let him fellate it for a bit. You get bored and step back. You drop a canister of tear gas on the floor and close the door. You can hear Tommy and Jamal fighting for access to the little hole where they put cuffs on you before opening the door. They are gasping and weezing.

>>36607
Shoot them with the revolver.

>>36607
Put the shotgun in the hole they are trying to breath through and pull the trigger.

>>36607
close the hole

usually theres a little sliding shutter

Beat them back into the cell to get gassed.

>>36607
Give Tommy the .22 and tell him to shoot the nigger and he can come out.

>>36628
You shoot through the hole. You can see that Jamal's jaw is gone through the window. He is bleeding and thrashing around, and is making a huge mess. He's probably going to bleed to death, especially considering that the prison's medical staff is now dead.

You close the hole and leave Tommy to his fate.

What do you do now?

>>36675
Observe the rest of the guards and try to fit in.

>>36675
Get the fuck out of there. Occasionally beating on minorities to blend in.

>>36675
Find the warden.

Pee on the buttholes of errybody

>>36682
>>36685
>>36692
You take a look around. Guards in all sorts of uniform and gear are shouting at prisoners. Everything is pretty chaotic. You descend to the first floor and kick a large black man who was no doubt innocent in the head on the landing.

You are in riot gear, with a shotgun, a baton, an a .22, among other things, standing in the commons on the first floor. What do you do?

>>36730
keep up the act, wait for an opening to slip out into the motorpool

>>36730
I think it's probably time you try and escape.

>>36746
>>36748
You continue beating random prisoners lying on the floor. You wouldn't have even thought to do this a week before. The entire prison is on lockdown, looking for the killer, but they don't know which one, and the place is in no condition to have an orderly roll-call, since a high percentage of the prisoners have been fucked up beyond all recognition.

You keep it up until 7PM. You see several guards starting to leave and new ones come in. Is this the shift change? What do you do?

>>36804
Try to slip out during the shift change. Make it extra obvious you're exhausted so no one questions you leaving.

>>36804
find the nurse's/doctor's car, it should honk when we press the lock button

>>36804
Leave with them.
Then we need to get out of the country before everything calms down and they find out that we're missing.

>>36823
You begin walking towards the guard station, then enter the locker room. You loudly sigh and wipe sweat off your brow as you take your riot gear off with the other men. You take a guess that the number on the guard's ID card is the same as on the locker. You open it up, thanking God that his buddies weren't here. You get into his civilian clothes, which is a plaid button up shirt, and denim jeans. You don't find any car keys, but you do find a phone if you want to take it.

Afterwards, you follow the stream of men leaving and hope that they are going to the parking lot. You slide the guard's ID card and breath easy when you aren't stop. You are amazed when you reach the parking lot. You press the unlock button on the doctor's keys, and hear a honk across the parking lot. You get into the driver seat. There is about $20 in change and loose bills.

You note that you are roughly 500 miles from the US-Mexican border. You may also try any other path to flee.

What do you do?

>>36902
Turn yourself in for the reward, and use it to buy a prostitute that you can turn in for another reward because they're a criminal, use this to buy more prostitutes, repeat until you can pay your bail.

>>36902
drive out calmly and turn onto the freeway

we should pull over after a few hours and plot a route where we can cross without going through a border control station

>>36949
This.
Maybe we should go to Canada, instead?
They don't have border control, right?

Get some chicken tendies

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>36902
Drive to Canada. They'd expect the suspect to go to Mexico.

>>36969
nope, but they also extradite

we should head into South America, id like to rob a bank and steal a boat so we avoid the border and have cash

>>36946
I'm not sure they give bail to someone who just murdered three people in cold blood to break out of prison, and two more just for fun. We've gone all in here.

>>36949
>>36969
You pass a tollbooth in the parking lot. After a twenty or so minutes of driving a secluded road, you pull onto the highway. You barely care which way you go (as it happens, you are going due west), because you think that you just need to get away. You exit on a small town. The only restaurant that seems open is KFC. You order some tendies, fill up you tank with the last of your money, and get back on the highway. Three hours later, you pull into a rest stop. You turn on the radio and hear the news of the massacre at the prison. They know your name. Your notoriety is now 15/20. You have no money and half a tank of gas.

>>37025
damn, is there a bank? We should still have the pistol, and maybe the shotgun

>>37025
Save up good boy points.

>>37046
Oh fug, plot hole. You have the .22, but you weren't bold enough to try to sneak out with the shotgun. You also have your scalpels and syringes still.

It is 12AM. The banks are closed. There are always convenient stores open though.

>>37079
We shouldn't rob a convenient store, even though you all want to.
Unless we're really prepared.

>>37079
Enter a store and instantly shoot the clerk.

>>37079
Don't rob the fucking store, we just got out of prison for fucks sake lol

>>37079
What clothing do we still have?

Should wait for the banks to open and enter right after they do. Minimal witnesses and the teller stands should be full

Convenience stores will have like $100, not worth the effort and risk.

Get nekkid and start getting the good feels

>>37078
You owe ten million GBP at this point.

>>37106
>>37112
>>37134
You briefly consider robbing a convenient store, but remember than everyone uses the plastic jew to pay nowadays. You keep driving until you find the next town, expending 10% of your gasoline. You see 1st Farmer's Credit Union off the main street. You park a couple blocks down and wait for morning.

You have only the clothes on your back, which is the civilian clothes of the guard you killed. You are wearing a plaid button-down and denim jeans.

>>37177
Sleep in your car until morning.

>>37177
Check the car for a first aid kit, it should have gauze we can use to wrap our face

Start looking for the nearest 9/11 memorial to blow up

>>37196
What an exhausting day. You recline in the driver seat and quickly fall asleep. You dream of the child of the nurse that you killed growing up with out it's mother. You dream of the funeral of the guard, with his brothers and sisters around him. You dream of the proud faces of the doctor's parents on graduation day. Each one ends the same, with Jamal raping you while your victims watch.

Dawn breaks at and rouses you from your poor-quality sleep. It is 7:30AM. The bank opens at 9:00AM. You rummage around the doctor's car and are lucky enough to find a first aid kit. In it is a pair of scissors, several hundred bandaids, and approximately 10 feet of gauze. You fuck around until 8:45AM. It's time to do this. What do you do?

>>37250
Cover your face in gauze as a disguise

>>37250
bandage up the lower part of our face, might be able to pass off as a normal bank robber, rather than an escaped convict

You wrap the part of your face below your eyes with gauze. You have a loaded .22 revolver with 5 shots in your hand. The bank is a block away. It is 8:59AM. You are about to rob the bank. What is your strategy?

>>37291
Try to act like it's a medical condition. Don't pull the gun until we get to the counter. Then discreetly pull it out and threaten the teller in a whisper.

>>37291
Hand a note saying you have a gun get the money then walk out

>>37291
they open at 9, right? Burst in and get ot them before they have a chance to get behind the desks where we can't see them. Use a garbage bag to hold the money from the teller booth, no going for the safe unless we are absolutely sure that the alarms haven't been tripped

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>37313
>>37327
Charisma rolls. Over 9 and they think you are a burn victim.

>>37339
Nice.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>37313
>>37327
You walk into the bank and get some looks of sympathy. Inside, there are one teller, one girl in her twenties. There is a door open to a man in a nice suit. Presumably the manager? There is no one at the loan officer's desk. You walk up to to the teller and say hello. After she asks what you would like, you lean forward and whisper "I have a gun bitch, give me all the fucking money in your drawer in an envelope or I swear I'll blow your fucking brains all over the wall."

Roll over 15 or she hits the silent alarm while she's doing it.

Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d6)

Roll?

>>37373
NICE.

>>37373
Nice 20.

Not that you would know it, but she hasn't hit the alarm yet. No doubt she will the second that you turn around though. She is shaking and beginning to cry as she pushes several fat envelopes towards you. Someone is going to notice that soon. What do you do?

>>37405
Time to scalpel the bitch.

On second thought, better run back to the car and leave her be.

HOW DARE YOU mocking a burn victims like me!!!

>>37405
Tell her to calm down and that you'll leave some money outside for her troubles. You didn't mean to be aggressive you've just had a shitty couple of weeks.

>>37430
don't actually leave our cash behind, fuck that

she makes a good wage and knew what she was signing up for.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>37416
You breifly consider taking your trusty o' scalpel to her neck, but you realize that's pointless and counterproductive. Instead, you loudly shout that she is mocking you for your burns, and storm out of the bank. That should buy you a few seconds at least. You toss some pennies on the sidewalk and sprint to your car and take off.

Roll over 8 for an uneventful getaway.

>>37475
>Two nat 20s
WOO

>>37475
we're really good at this

should do it again before we get on the boat

>>37475
Holy hell, Satan must be smiling upon you my boy, because you get away completely clean. Bonus point to all stats for this sort of luck!

You see some police cars headed for the bank as you leave town, but they don't even seem to notice you at all. You drive exactly the speed limit until you begin to worry that you could run out of gas. You pull into a gas station and open the envelopes. You estimate that you've made away with about $7500. You fill up the tank with premium and buy a shitty hotdog to celebrate.

You have been driving west. You are approximately 300 miles from the coast.

What do you do? Where do you go?

>>37541
Go to Canada, BC to start a new life as a simple pot farmer.

>>37541
A train to Canada little security and is faster than a car.

>>37541
To the coast. Lets steal a fishing yacht with living space in it. I don't want to be trapped at sea for days without at least a fucking bed.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

A quick roll to see if they are looking for the doctor's car yet. Over 8 means they aren't.

>>37555
weedman will send us back, and we're already close to the ocean so we can sail away to a south American country

>>37541
Buy some more gauze, food, and a map. We need to hit at least one more bank to get enough so we can live easy for a few years.

>>37541
Go get a boat. Hopefully, with internet.

>>37583
oh fuck

Looks like we have to get a move on lads

>>37583
>>37564
This, then.
And ditch the car a little ways back.

>>37583
FUGG

We need a new car lads

>>37583
fuck, we need to steal a car. Strip this one and find a good one to take. An RV would be nice, we could hide out at a campsite for a week and hope the heat does down/passes by

>>37583
Ditch the car. Set it on fire.

>>37627

Fire would draw too much attention. Drive it into a rural river/lake.

Alright, vote time. Here's the situation. You're in a stolen car that they are now looking for. Within a day or so, they will like you with the robbery. You are wanted for serial murder and they have called in the Marshals and the price on your head is $100K. Your stats are Charisma: 12/20, Sneakiness: 13/20, Combat: 8/20, Notoriety: 16/20. All police will recognize you, and many civilians too.

Where do you want go?
Canada
Coast, steal a boat, and South America
Lay low for a while
Mexico

What do you do about the car?
Ditch it, steal another
Set it on fire
Keep it
Live the rest of your life as a hitchhiking serial killer

>>37583
fuck the exhaust pipe of the car, and then jack another car

>>37612
This is a good idea.
Get an RV, destroy the old car, stock up on supplies, and skip forward a few years.

>>37645
Lay low, then hit somewhere in south america where they wouldn't suspect me. Canada is dangerous because it is so connected to the US.

>>37651
>>37645
>>37612
Then immediately shave head/grow out beard

>>37645
Roll car into lake. Buy RV from crackhead with cash. Live as a recluse on a campground for a few months, then head to the coast.

Alternatively, I hear Alaska is beautiful this time of year.

>>37645
>Coast, steal a boat, and South AmericaLay low for a while

Ditch it, steal another

South America is up for debate, Oceania could be nice. Depends on just where we are, if its possible

>>37645
Drive to the coast as fast as you can, once you get there strip the car and drive it into the ocean.

>Buy a boat, sail to japan, become NEET again.

>>37645
Guys everyone goes Mexico they'll never expect us to go to Canada. Also voting to burn the car in a fforest

>>37678
definitely, we should get some hair dye too. Might hit up a tanning salon

no one expects a ginger with a tan

>>37693
>>37688
No, a boat wouldn't work. The Coast Guard will nab you easily. A submarine, on the other hand...

>>37645
>Coast, steal a boat, sail to Vietnam

>Ditch it, steal another
>Set it on fire

>Shave hair
>Grow beard
>Get body tattoos

Need to get out of the US and Canada, to someplace rural where we can blend in with locals until we learn the language. South America good bet. They need to accept our dollars too.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

Before you leave the gas station, you pick up a map. Not too far from here is a state park with a large lake. You drive on up. You find the boat ramp. It's 11AM, but there aren't any people putting their boats in the water right now. If you play your cards right, you could steal a truck and it would be hours before they come back and notice it stolen. You look around the parking lot. Roll over 10 to get lucky someone left their keys in the ignition.

>>37698
Not talking about mexico, we're saying like Brazil, Argentina, Chile, etc.

Rio might be a good place to keep low.

>>37719
nah, tattoos are too long lasting. We need to be able to change our entire appearance in a day if need be

Okay, so the plan is
>Buy/steal RV
>Destroy car
>Change appearance
>Lay low
>Get boat

sound good?

>>37732
You're luck hasn't run out. You find a nice pickup with they keys in it and a boat trailer attached. After making sure the truck starts and moving you precious monies into it, you roll the doctor's car off the pier. You unhook the trailer and take off with a fresh vehicle and drive around while you wait for yourself to come to a decision about where to go now.

>>37732
Put car in neutral, get out, let roll into lake off boat ramp.

>>37739
Argentine peso used to be pegged to the dollar. We might be able to use our money there.

>>37763
go to the coast number 1.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

People seem to like the coast idea, so let's go with that. Roll over 15 for an uneventful trip all the way there.

Ecuador and El Salvador officially use the US Dollar

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>37811
Well, they can't all be good. Roll over ten for the cop to just be fucking with you, under ten for him to suspect who you are.

>>37830
It's 8PM and you can smell the salty air when you get pulled over. You're nervous about this, but the cop doesn't seem particularly troubled. You haven't heard anything about your new truck on the radio, but your notoriety is really high, so unless he is a retard, there is a good chance he will recognize you. The only ID you have also doesn't match your face. You could really be in trouble here. He leisurely gets out of his car and walks towards your truck. "Any idea why I pulled you over tonight, Sir?"

>>37830
Before he gets to the door, check for registration in glove compartment. Then act all friendly-like

>>37860
AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>37860
No.
Care to inform me?

>>37860
"Not really, do you feel lonely or something?"

>>37860
I might've been going a bit too fast officer. I just got word that my wife is going into labor

>>37901
this

>>37866
This! just be nice and say you forgot your papers and hand over the nurses picture saying you need to get home to your wife and kid.

>>37860
I REFUSE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>37866
You have it, but you don't have an ID with your picture on it.

>>37887
>>37892
>>37901
"I'm not sure. I'm in kind of a hurry to deal with a family issue. My wife's pregnant with our child and I just got text saying 'meet me at the hospital', so I'm a little excited!" Without being asked, you hand over the picture of the nurse.

Roll over 7 for him to buy it.

>>37939
RIP
While he's distracted with the picture, pop a cap into the cop

>>37939
"Right," he says, brushing the picture away without looking at it. "Fact is, you were going 67 in a 65. There's no excuse for breaking the law. I'm going to need to see your license and registration, Sir."

>>37950
No! Can't leave a trail. another body will only point them in our direction

>>37972
We're almost at the coast!

>>37971
"Seriously dinging me for 2 miles an hour, that's lame"

While doing that, act like you're reaching for your wallet to buy some time

>>37971
shoot him and throw him in the back. We'll have to hide the body in the forest

But at least we'll be able to steal his stuff

>>37971
One dead cop please.

>>37972
Take the body with us!

>>37971
WHATS THAT! Then shoot him in the back of the head.

>>37971
BACK UP INTO HIS CAR KILL THE COP AND SPEED AWAY!

>>38000
>>37990
Good idea. Should we take his car too?

>>37986
"Really, that's well within the error margin of your radar!," you say as you pretend to reach for your wallet. As fast as you can, you pull out the .22 and pull the trigger. Roll over 13 to kill him. Roll over 7 to wound him critically.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>38028
Oops.

>>38046
BOOM!!!

>>38046
Scream "HEADSHOT" as loudly as possible and teabag his body.

>>38046
Loot his body! Hide his body! Masturbate onto his body!

Rolled 20 (1d100)

Suicide

>>38046
damn, we better loot his car and steal everything he has to offer

Wonder how far we can get before they notice that he's missing

>>38046
*PEW*. No one hears on the secluded street. It wasn't good enough to be a direct headshot, and now you're seeing the familiar scene of someone bleeding to death from their throat. They are going to say that this is your signature mark as a serial killer one day. Nevertheless, he couldn't call for help and is soon dead. You strip him of his gun, radio, and other interesting things. In the police car, you find a shotgun and handcuffs. There is now a dead cop on the side of the road, with a cop car with flashing lights on the shoulder behind the corpse. What do you do.

>>38084
Turn off the sirens of the police car!

>>38084
stab his gas tank and light it on fire

leave his body in the driver's seat

if we can roll it into a tree, that would be good too

>>38084
Dress the cop in your clothes while putting on his then put him in the front seat with a syringe in his arm and the gun in his hand.

>>38084
Disable the damn car immediately.

Throw his body in the car, organize your own car to maximize stealthiness and efficiency

>>38095
>>38108
>>38123
It was just the lights. But you turn those off in the process of dragging the cop's dead body into the car. You think back to your success at the prison an swap clothes with him. You leave him with a needle in his arm and the .22 in his hand. You're now wearing a bloody police uniform. You consider lighting the car on fire, but that seems like it would be incredibly flamboyant. Instead, you get in the police car. You are about 30 miles from the coast. It is 8:30PM. You are covered in blood and you have a .45 and a shotgun.

>>38169
probably should've kept our shirt so we weren't covered in blood...

Ah well, find a thrift store and get some new clothes. See if we can pick up anything useful there for an ocean journey or living off the grid

>>38169
Go find clean clothes and another car! Police cars are too suspicious.

>>38169
Call in a Bank robbery or a school shooting so no one will be at the Police station.
>Go raid the popo.

>>38169
TIME TO FIND AN RV
TIME TO LIVE /OFF THE GRID/

>>38199
>>38205
You drive the police car into a little town off about 20 miles off the coast. You stop at a shitty little dollar store. You take off your outer coat and walk in. All they sell is garbage, but they sell lots of it. You grab a cart and fill it up with a few changes of clothes, a bunch of canned "food", several boxes of medicine, some chinese-made cutlery, and soap. Oh, and a can opener. That would have been embarrassing. You pay with cash. The old washed-up crack whore cashier doesn't talk to you. You walk outside. It is 9:30PM. What do you do?

>>38247
cover our face and steal an RV. Send the police car into the ocean, no trace. Now that we're at the ocean, we need to be even more careful.

>>38247
Listen to the radio to see what the police are doing with your investigation!

Rolled 2 (1d20)

You begin driving around the neighborhoods. Your cruiser does not draw suspicion from anyone who might see you. Roll over 10 to find an RV.

They have raised your bounty to $1M. There is a report of a stolen truck, but it is not linked to you. The federal marshals are leading the investigation, with assistance from the FBI. Your face has been shown all over TVs within a 500 mile radius. They suspect that you were the bank robber.

>>38322
You don't find any RV suitable to live in, only the kind that have to be pulled by trucks. Such a shame. It's 11PM. What do you do?

>>38333
CHECK THOSE TRIPS

>>38333
Go to the coast, steal a boat.

>>38333
Fuck it and go back to going to the coast looking for bout!
>Lets go to japan!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>38371
>>38374
You scream "FACK IT!" into the night as you haul ass with the cruiser to the coast. Roll over 8 for an uneventful trip.

>>38333
look for a boat, we'll need plenty of room for provisions and we can sell it once we get there

>>38394
Aw shit

Try and stay calm to tide the inevitable wave of police cruisers

>>38394
Pfff, you got called back to the station. Fuck that. You ignore the disturbance and carry on. You go down to the dock and take a look at the boats. You decide that you want....

Sports fisher - On board generator with 1000 gallons of diesel. Burns two gallons an hour though. Fastest one.
Fancy Yacht - Luxtury. Half the fuel but triple the economy. Kind of slow though.
Sail boat - No electrical power, but you won't have to worry about fuel.

Meanwhile, the dispatcher is getting much more assertive about getting an answer from you.

>>38443
Sport fisher!
Haul ass to japan!

>>38443
Sport fisher!
While you're on the boat, remember your roots! Fight on for free internet! Head to Washington DC!

>>38512
We're on the West coast.

>>38525
Why are there guns, then?

>>38546
Because people still have gun in states that are hard to have guns.
>Imagine how people in the sticks of New York feel?

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>38488
>>38512
You gently break the window of a nice sport fisher and open the door. After a few minutes, you discover a set of keys hanging on the wall above some fishing rods attached to this foam thing so that they won't sink. You go over to the console and stick both keys in the ignitions and fire up two beautify diesel engines. You put it in gear, but the boat lurches to a stop. You realize that you are still tied to the dock. You hear sirens in the distance. You grab a fishing knife from a tackle box and run outside and begin cutting through the ropes. You run inside just as the a police car comes around the corner.

You flip the radio on the boat on. They have called the coast guard. Roll over 10 to make it to international waters.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>38582
Shit, intercepted. You've got two coast guard ships following you as you haul ass at 60 knots, or whatever speed would be considered fast for a boat. They are trying to toss ropes onto your boat and stop you, but the water is rough and the motion of the boat is unpredictable.. Roll 10 to make it to international waters.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>38606
get naked and do the helicopter with your penis to the coast guards.

>>38606
Wew lad, you've made it. You killed six people in cold blood, but it's easy sailing now as you head for the warm electric glow of Japan as a free man with about $7k in cash. Congratulations. Was it worth it?

>>38621
D-do we have enough fuel to make it all the way? How far would 1000 gallons get us?

>>38648
That should get us about 35K miles.

Which is vastly too much. I shouldn't have made it get two gallons an hour. As long as it uses less than 14 gallons per hour, we will have enough to cross 5000 miles though.

>>38621
Well, we start all this with the simple statement of "14/88 GAS THE KIKES RACE WARS NOW!" so in Honor of that.
>Hail Hail

>>38691
Fast forward to Japan bls

>>38697
Dude, what if we run into the black market? or pirates? what if we meet god?

>>38712
Let's meet god, then

>>38712
SUDDENLY HURRICANE

>>38696
No, we were the "INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE!" (Charisma: 10/20, Sneakiness: 10/20, Combat: 5/20, Notoriety: 4/20)

>>38696
We started with "INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE" though. We only got to 14/88 after Jamal redpilled us in the fifth worst way possible.

>>38697
I don't know what else to do though. You can take over being QM if you have any idea of what would happen in Japan or on the sea though.

>>38739
That's what I said! Turn back, head to Washington DC! Across land! In your tiny-ass boat!

>>38739
Nope just fast travel to japan.

>>38754
>>38773
But I don't have anything else planned or ideas of what could happen in Japan.

>>38783
Become a serial killer!
Install Gentoo onto the fishing boat!

>>38783
Let's take over the Yakuza.

>>38794
>>38797
I dunno. It's getting late. I can give the QM title to someone else though.

>>38806
Rip for tonight?

>>38806
Just write an epilogue or something desu

Good thread OP. Satisfied with that. I'm calling it a night myself. We definitely had some clutch rolls there for sure. Night boys.

>>38832
GG guys.

>>38806
Good night OP

>>38817
For me at least. I have to go let Mr. Shekelberg cuck me tomorrow for some wagebux.

>>38825
After twelve days at sea, you finally smash your boat onto Japanese soil. You disembark and kiss the ground beneath you. The dirt tastes like sweet freedom, something you never expected outside the land of the free. You can hear the sounds of teenage girls fighting over a high school boy over the horizon. You gather your money from the boat and head over the horizon. They aren't scared of a gaijin, it turns out. They are rather friendly. They offer you a barbequed squid, which is much better than the canned chili you've been eating. Things might just end up being okay here after all. You know enough weeabese to tell them you are baka, so they even give you a lift into the city. You exchange your dollars for yen, and set off to start your new life. You were never recognized, because all white people look the same.


>>38832
>>38844
>>38847
Good night guys.

>>38870
Y-you too