Oh shit nigger, you're about to go on an deep sea submarine adventure! But first you must choose who are you working for: the military? A corporation? Or do you want to stick it to da man and work for yourself?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327666
mystery box
>>327666
Let's go FULL CORPORATE.
>>327671
There is no mystery box
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327677
Independent then. We don't need no corporation or military to back us up.
LOCK IT IN!
>>327679
Being independent gives you these choices for a sub. Just know that because you're not backed by a corporation or the military, your crew will consists of a bunch of your friends and room mates
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327684
Argonaut
You're late NaP
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>327684
FUCK THOSE CHOICES
GET THE MYSTERY BOX OPTION BETWEEN HEIRLOOM AND SUB SANDWICH
Lock in again!
>>327689
From my perspective I'm on time.
Anyway, ya sure m8
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>327692
Lock in
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>327692
Confirming selection, Captain!
>>327696
And since this is your vessel, you can rename it, if that's waht you want
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327697
"Moby Dick"
Lock in
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327697
Jason
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327697
Spoops McGoops
>>327699
Ah yes, yer the captain of the Moby Dick. You command the Dick.
Anyway, choose what you look like. If this was backed by a big corporation you would ahve gene altering technologies to alter your appearance anyway you like, but since you're indie, this is all you get
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>327712
Beardless Captain
Lock in
>>327714
Enter name here
>>327712
>>327714
Confirming for baby face.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327719
Babyface
Lock in
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327719
Derps McGurps
>>327719
Head Commander Doyle (of the Dick)
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>327719
Melvin
Lock in
>>327730
Strange Family name you got there
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>327733
Its a missprint. Melvin Lochness
>>327743
That's good. Confirm it!
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327743
Confirm
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327749
I dont have a name
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327749
Eat a corndog OP
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327760
I didn't expect this to be a puzzle quest...
/exit name input
/help
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>327766
Baha
>>327766
Simon must be reading his fanfiction out loud.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327766
Skip name creation and cut to us boarding our sub
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327773
Sea Man
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>327773
Hit enter
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327773
Notaskeleton Lochin
>>327777
Where the quads at?
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>327773
Jack Sparrow
>>327779
Just know that if Disney comes to my house with a lawsuit, it's all your fault
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327787
Zack Spareroom
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327787
I regret nothing. Hit enter.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327787
Anons gang up on OP and beat the fag down
>>327789
Domestic abuse
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327803
Oh shit, we're past naming
Hug the enter key to make up for it
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327803
OH SHIT IT CALLED THE DEEP SEA POLICE!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327803
So wait, who are we?
>>327807
"Hands up, creep"
>>327809
You're Jack
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>327814
The Deep Sea Police starts beating our ass
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327820
Make a getaway on our sub and leave our ass as a distraction.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327820
DONKEY NOOOO!
>>327814
Aren't we in our ship? Have our crew members throw him in the brig.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327821
Blow up the rails before we get on track again.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327820
A valiant sacrifice, we shall never forget you
>>327821
Wow that was an abrupt start to your deep sea voyage.
As your Mody Dick descends the waters you think about what's your goal for going deep down into the sea
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>327830
To find the lost city of Atlantis and get a mermaid waifu
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327830
To be the first man to procreate with a creature living in the deepest trench existing.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327830
Collect waifus and treasure. Then start Outer Heaven.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327830
To fuck a sea-urchin.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327830
To find the forgotten land of Mysterious Boxia.
>>327834
... but Atlantis sounds okay.
I guess.
>>327834
Steve, your first mate, and also room mate, looks at you skeptically
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327858
Tell him to shut it or he's getting tossed out into the sea.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327858
Duck you started sooner than expected NoP.
Let's get to know our crew!
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327858
Not just any sea-urchin.
THE sea-urchin.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>327858
"STEVE, WHO ARE THE PATRIOTS?"
>>327864
"I don't get it"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327871
Shut it steve! Bring the rest of the crew so we remember what they look like and their names!.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>327871
Let's meet the crew
Starting with the cook
An Orc Cook
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327871
That sea-urchin is the legend of deep sea! We'll be heroes if we manage to fuck it up!
>>327877
"Greetings, Captain" said your cook and home ec classmate
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327886
What's for dinner, m8?
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327886
Attention all crew, please report to the bridge for a head count.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327886
Cook Stewbings, you are possibly the most decorated officer on this ship, plus you make a fine ass pasta.
You are most welcome on the bridge at any time.
>>327890
"Ay yo where's the captain"
>>327897
It's time for the high dive test.I'll be observing from the water
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>327897
your sub hits the bridge support
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327897
Hey steve have you seen the rest of the crew? You dont think we left them on the surface with that cop did we on that bridge?
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327897
Welp, looks like it's just you the cook and the first mate on this sub...
Better hire some new crew mates at the underwater pub and grill.
>>327900
"oh wait, there he is"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327908
it starts minigame with catching your falling down crew
fuck up and you'll be left with only cook and Steve
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327908
BET YOU GUYS 5 BUCKS YOU WONT JUMP DOWN HERE FROM THAT HIGH!!
>>327910
Now roll 5d100, The first dice is the picking dice, highest gets picked. The following 4 is for the 4 crewmen. If a crewman's roll is higher than 30 then he is saved
Rolled 70, 41, 74, 31, 57 = 273 (5d100)
>>327921
gotta save em all
Rolled 57, 71, 71, 3, 45 = 247 (5d100)
>>327921
Rolled 45, 4, 58, 69, 20 = 196 (5d100)
>>327921
I'll fuck it up
Rolled 85, 22, 84, 99, 42 = 332 (5d100)
>>327921
Yus
>>327926
Amazingly, you saved them all
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>327932
Introduce everyone
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>327932
Unfortunately they landed in your shipment of sink bombs, cut to them saluting us.
>>327934
"But they didn't?" questioned Steve
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327936
Whats causing that smell then?
>>327941
Ah yes, your crew:
- Dan "the Man": Voted most likely to die first for cheap drama
- Tyrone: Black guy who lived next door to you, owes you 5 dollars
- Wilson: Went to school with you that one time
- Manlet: a manlet
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>327953
A group of dolphins begin harassing your sub
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>327953
We need to obtain more crew. Preferably of the Russian persuasion.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327953
Plot a course for the deepest trench.
>>327963
"Hell no! Aint no reds getting on this sub! Death to commies!" claimed Wilson
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327953
go to the onboard sauna and discuss the problem with our ass to the crew.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327968
Someone throws vodka at Wilson
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>327968
descend into the sea in search of waifus
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327968
He reveals himself to be a nazi along with the manlet and dan the man.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327968
Explain that the Russians will also be cute girls.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>327984
That's a full bottle, it should've exploded into shards
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>327984
drink vodka and dive
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>327984
He rages and annilates the manlet.
>>327990
"Captain, are you sure diving under the influence is a good idea?"
yerrssh
>>328001
On the quest for Pepe island
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328001
THE SHARK IN THE BACKGROUND CALLS THE DEEP SEA POLICE ON US
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328001
While were diving check our secret stash of "illegal consumables"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328001
Also, abuse prescription drugs whilst driving in order to forget our tragic past.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328001
"Why else do you think I've been smoking meth, jackass?!"
>>328004
And so it did
IF IT HAND FINGERS, HAH! TAKE THAT, MARINE LIFE!
#LANDLUBBER4EVER
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328017
His squid friend calls the police using his tentacles
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328017
Capture it the cook can make shark fin soup.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328017
Drive by harpooning.
>>328017
We hit rock bottom
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328025
>>328020
oh nnoes
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328029
Lucky for us we're in international waters.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328029
The Deep Sea Police arrive and ram our submarine
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328029
Do a drive by harpooning on them to stop them.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328029
Deep Sea police sub begins battle with us
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328041
You gain a wanted level
>>328042
"Damn! Captain! We're now officially wanted criminals! We better be careful now"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328046
lets look at whats the best thing to dive for right now
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328046
Itsh, ok...
Make depthsh of 20000 leaguesh, we are searcshing, for culthlu
>>328050
"Well captain, accoding to this poorly drawn map, with our current location we can dive for three things. First, there are some ruins near here, possible from some ancient civilaztionn or something, there may be treasure there. Then there's a ship wreckage that hopefully also contain some things worth salvaging. And then there's a huge hole that'll take us even deeper down into the abyss, who knows what we'll find down there"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328058
To the abyss numbah 1
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328058
DIVE FOR THOSE RUINS
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328058
Lookin for Cthulhu in the ruins
>>328060
Aw yeaaah, check out your sick diving skills.
You're getting thirsty, betting drink some more
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328065
Look underwater jews
Such majestic creatures
Do we have a biologist on board? Please don't tell me it's the cook
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328065
search for waifus
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328065
Drink rum. ALL THE RUM.
WE ARE NOW SUBMARINE PIRATES!
>>328070
Damn, the abyss is pretty dark, can't find any waifus here
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328074
turn on your lights
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328074
Head lights boy,
And radar
And gaydar
And Tina feydar
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328083
Use our radar to navigate
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328083
delve deeper into the darkere darkness
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328083
Exterior lights, silly.
>>328084
"Radar shows nothing so far, cap'n"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328095
go towards that white dot
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328095
What's that white dot on the left then?
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328095
Hmm
Do we have a biologist on board? If so bring him here, if it's the orc... get him here faster
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328095
Zoom and Enhance on that white dot
>>328098
"Well captain, I'm indeed a biologist. In the sense that I know what is edible and what isn't"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328105
Take off his glasses and wear them.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328105
GREAT! CAN WE EAT WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS THING IS THAT'S SUCKERED ON OUR FRONT?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328105
What's your name cook?
>>328108
"Well from this angle I'm not sure, if we can collect some samples I may be able to determine its culinary qualities. As in it's time to kill it"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328112
MURDER IT LIKE A NARWHAL
A GLORIOUS FUCKING NARWHAL
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328112
I LIKE THIS COOK
Launch photon torpedoes
At the beast, numbah 1
>>328116
"Aye aye, captain. Readying drill horn, preparing to activate Ramming Speed. Targetting engaging. Captain, we can let the computer aim for us or you can manually do it with that handy dandy control panel right next to your chair there" said Wilson. Racist and also Mr Exposition
>>328126
I'll take the controls!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328126
fuck computers we sail our own ship
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328126
MASTER OF MY DESTINY!
>>328129
"Aye aye captain. Bringing up visuals onto main screen"
Surely aiming your weapons while drunk is the best idea
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328136
Activate the spiral engines.
Pierce whatever the hell's on our ship.
>>328136
High quality visuals cap'n
>>328136
"Might as well smoke this here bowl of meth while I do it, too!"
"I am fucking awesome."
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328140
>>328138
"Activating spiral engines"
"Time to kill this generic abyssal monster"
"I mean, black body, some tentacles and teeth, how lazy can ya get?!"
"A literal black screen"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328149
The creature engulfs us
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328149
Kill it and collect the remains
Is it edible mister cook also known as Stewbings
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328149
Pierce the abyss.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328149
The monster and the Moby Dick jump gloriously out of the water like a breaching humpback whale.
Looks like something a stoner would have painted on the side of his van.
>>328153
Oh no!1! It has engulfed us in its mass of teeth and tentacles! Now we can't see!
Roll 2d100 to pierce the darkness
First one is pick second is success rate
0-9: FUCK!
10-19: Fuck!
20-39: Fuck
40-79: Fuck yeah!
80-100: FUCK YEAH!!
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>328162
Radical 90's Guitar Solo
Rolled 57, 42 = 99 (2d100)
>>328162
Fuck yeah?
Rolled 49, 15 = 64 (2d100)
>>328162
fuck nah
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328176Row row
Fight the powa
>>328177
Coincedentally, that is also how your vessel is powered. The manlet channels his insecurities into his rowing.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328182
Collect samples
COOK what do we got?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328182
time to eat
>>328186
"Well captain, we got...a tentacle"
Roll 2d100 to determine it's edibleness
0-9: food poisoning
10-29: tastes like ass, but not in a good way
30-69: edible, but nothing special, tastes kinda like chicken
70-95: Delicious
96-100: One of the best thing you'll ever eat, it's like there's an orgy in your mouth and everybody's invited, no homo
Rolled 70, 20 = 90 (2d100)
>>328196
Here we gooooooooooo
Rolled 13, 3 = 16 (2d100)
>>328196
It's gonna be full homo if it's as good as you say it is.
>>328201
Oh god what the shit. THis tastes horrible. It's like one of the worst things you've ever tasted. Like a dead cat mixed with puke and topped with buffalo shit.
On a positive note, it's great for stopping your drunkeness
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328209
Add seasoning.
>>328211
Nnnnnnoope, nope. Ketchup doesn't help either. Which is a shame, it always goes so well with your steaks.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328214
Welp let's explore some cthluluh ruins
Old gods are always fun
>>328216
There ain't no party like an eldritch party.
>>328216
Exlporing some nearby ruins
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328219
We search for loot
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328228
Roll some dice to see how much loot we get
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328228
Roll some dice to decide if we eat good food.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328228
Roll
Babeh
>>328229
Rolling some dice
Rolled 35, 13 = 48 (2d100)
>>328234
ROLL!
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328234
Attack from cult sub!
>>328235
"Congrats, cap'n. You rolled a 13"
"Yo that shit's cheating"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328243
check the loot detector
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328255
Throw dice at the screen
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328255
It's a very lazy d20
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328255
Wait, I thought we were playing Sharks and Submarines?
Rolled 12, 31 = 43 (2d100)
>>328259
I'm rolling and you can't stop me
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328263
Smash the screen in rage
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328259
All right, then, asshole, why don't YOU be the Dungeon Master tonight?!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328263
Bloop, incoming enemy torpedo from
Enemy....
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328263
Unplug the computer.
>>328267
"OH FUCK!"
"CAPTAIN! TIME TO ENGAGE EVASIVE MANEUVERS!"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328274
WARP SPEED, STEVE, WARP SPEED
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328274
SHOOT OUR OWN TORPEDO AT IT
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328274
Ask the cook what to do!
Rolled 6 (1d6)
>>328274
Ram the torpedo
>>328280
"AIMING AT INCOMING TORPEDOES, CAP'N!"
"FIRING ON YOUR COMMAND"
Roll 2d100
0-9: Terrible failure
10-39: Failure
40-89: Success
90-100: Grrrrreat success
Rolled 58, 66 = 124 (2d100)
>>328290
STEADY, STEADY
>>328291
"DIRECT HIT CAPTAIN!"
"ENEMY TORPEDOES ELIMINATED"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328295
FIND THAT ENEMY VESSEL
WE'RE GOING TO DRILL THEM OPEN
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328295
Who is this new enemy?! BETTER ASK THE COOK
>>328296
"SENSORS INDICATE IT TO BE A MILITARY SUB, CAP'N"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328301
CONTACT THEM
I WANT TO SEE THEIR FACES
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328301
HEY FUCK YOU WE ARE IN FREE WATERS
>>328306
"HOLY SHIT THE SEA MOSNTER CONTACTED US"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328312
WE'RE NOT A SEA MONSTER
WE'RE AN INDEPENDENT SUB IN A SUBMARINE THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE A SEA MONSTER
IT'S THE MOBY DICK
WE COMMAND THE DICK
>>328314
"Oh, well why didn't you say that in the first place? We almost blew you up. Oh well, no harm done, see ya"
>>328320
...
We find any loot yet?
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328320
threat averted
get back to searching for waifus
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328332
go explore that white dot we saw on the radar earlier
>>328335
No white dots here capn
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328338
Let's keep diving then.
>>328338
Fuck better look for some archeological findings....
The cooks an archeologist right?
>>328339
Ah yes, you were investigating the ruins after all.
You come accross a huge sunken temple. To the point that it can even house your sub
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328345
Enter the ruins and put on the diving suits, we're going in to explore.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328345
Find some probably important skeletons plotting something potentiallyapocalyptic.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328345
LETS GO EXPLORING
>>328346
Loading Sunken Temple stage
Now you choose who goes out of the sub
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328355
The Cap'n, Steve and the Cook.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328365
Have the cook tell us about the temple.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>328365
Find some treasure and squid eggs
>>328366
"Ah yes, frome these carvings I can deduce that this temple was once a place of worship for a cult. An ancient one that worships the deep dark abyss of the ocean and the old gods that inhabit it. Judging by the scriptures on the wall they want to become one with the ocean, and with their temple now down here, looks like they got their wish"
"Wow, how do you know all that?"
"I freelance as an archeologist. I go into ruins to find edible food sources"
"Doesn't that just make you a hobo though"
"Shut up Steve"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328376
An ominous figure shows up behind us
>>328376
Find skeletal remains
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328385
OH SHIT IT'S THE DEEP SEA POLICE
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328385
QUICK, HIT IT WITH A RIGHT HOOK
>>328388
"You're coming with me, criminal scum"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328393
Shoot a harpoon at him!
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328393
HEY MAN WE AINT TRESPASIN
>>328395
Fwoosh
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328406
It deflects off his armor
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328406
It nails him to a ruin,
Continue exploring
>>328410
ktonk
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328418
Cop's hand transforms into harpoon gun
This is the best fucking thread.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328418
Turn on your little girl decoy
He will surely chase after it
>>328422
A harpoon gattling gun
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328427
Stare in calm, accepting awe.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328427
Squid eats cop
Rolled 3 (1d10)
COP EATS SQUID
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>328444
This
V works
>>328441
Op still experiencing problems?
>>328443
What squid
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328469
arrest the cop
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328469
The one behind the cop
>>328471
How would that work
Rolled 2 (1d10)
Seems we are going, guys.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328475
International waters boy anything goes
>>328478
"Which also means I can shoot all these harpoons up your ass"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328485
Fire the Doritos!
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328485
And that squid can eat you the one behind you!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328485
Close-up for dramatic effect!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328485
ask Tyrone for tips on how to successfully resist arrest
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328500
Well, that didn't work.
So, Plan B: Torpedoes.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328500
Have get behind him and smash his bowl Helmut
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328510
Throw the cook
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328510
Cook gets the coos helmet off to reveal a squid man
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328510
the armor piercing ones
>>328510
FUCK.
Fuck this, just... just launch Chris Tucker at him.
Or get your face so close it melts in the net of his helmet; and say "sorry".
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328517
Details
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328522
You running out of ideas huh...
Fine.. gradually run for it!
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328522
open his helm and deck him
>>328522
Smile at him.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328522
the ass tasting tentacles
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>328525
>>328523
"Yo, das a good idea cap'n" said Tyrone, who undoubtedly has lots of experience in running away form the police
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>328530
start running back to your sub
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328530
Scream in absolute terror as you run the FUCK away.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328530
Suddenly a shark
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328538
you reach yo sub
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>328538
Pull the sub around we leaving!
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>328538
Cop's partner, Cop 2 was behind you the whole time.
Also a deepsea Paladin
>>328547
He takes off the mask.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>328547
get back in the sub and flee
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>328548
FUCK
>>328552
He reveals
another mask
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>328554
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
It's your lost brother!!
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>328554
Sub lands on top of deep pally and we make our escape.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>328554
Deapsea holy lazer!
>>328556Whoops, gotta get dinner, be back in about 2 hours or so
>>328559
Tnks for running, was awesome!
>>328559
Thanks NaP
Oh jeez, a full stomach is making me wayyyy sleepy
>>328610
you will get fat(ter) if you submit to what russkies call the pig illness.
>>328615
Too late, I'm already in bed.
Remember me as a hero.
>>328617
dont do it, /fit will molest you for bulking improperly.
>>328619
I'm already too far gone, save yourself
>>328622
your ass mang, your ass.
>>328622
Good night sweet Jew
Well you escaped the ruins and the police, probably.
Wut now?
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>334939
VODKA
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>334939
Punch self in face
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>334939
Go find a mermaid waifu.
>>334942
"Aye captain, searching..."
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>334943
you found super robot pilot instead as a easter egg
>>334943
Yo find on
>>334944
swim swim
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>334947
take him aboard
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>334947
Plot happens
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>334947
Waifu detected!
But wait, it's too big. Like, really big.
>>334949
Suddenly,
An ancient Evil Awakens
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>334953
Pray to cthulhu for help
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>334953
it's so ancient that it dies from one torpedo launch
I mean really. we have the technology, what ancient pile of shit going to do?
fart?
Rolled 5 (1d10)
Look at it on the radio.
>>334954
Damn, he's not answering
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>334958
Send in a probe, also punch self in face
Tradition people!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>334958
super robot pilot punches shit out of ancient evil while swimming by
>>334959
Probe launched
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>334962
It explodes.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>334962
Mr. Cook what does the prove say?
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>334962
Not that kind of probe, rhe anal probe
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>334962
do an alien probing sequience
>>334963
Well that didn't do much
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>334968
Hol up, maybe this guy comes in peace. Let's hear what he has to say.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>334968
Send in another one, a non explode one
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>334968
Aight then, we rush STRAIGHT
TO
THE
EYE
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>334968
RAM THAT FAGGOT
TROMBEEE
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>334974
Engange in evasive manoeuvres
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>334974
DO THE BARREL ROLL
>>334976
"Aight captain"
Engaging Evasive Maneuvers
Roll 2d100 for results. As always, first dice is the picking, second is the results
0-9: terrible
10-29: bad
30-79: okay
80-100: great
Rolled 74, 46 = 120 (2d100)
>>334978
BARREL ROLLS
Rolled 20, 59 = 79 (2d100)
>>334978
inb4 100 and 1
Rolled 13, 61 = 74 (2d100)
>>334978
>>334979
Dodge succesful
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>334983
DRILL RAM INTO ANCIENT EVIL
TROMBEEEEEEEEEEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK8hI9AfRE8
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>334983
Shoot vodka at it
>>334984
"Activating drill"
"Engaging Ramming speed"
"We ram on your command captain"
Roll2d100 for results
0-9: extreme failure
10-49: failure
50-89: success
90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 100, 51 = 151 (2d100)
>>334987
TROOOOMBEEEEEE
Rolled 9, 54 = 63 (2d100)
>>334987
OH GOD
>>334988
hory shieet
>>334988
"Juuuuuuust about made it"
"We got its shoulder!"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>334991
check enemy hitpoints
>>334995
check our special abilities which we can use as commander of submarine.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>334995
Check your sub hp
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>334996
fug
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335000
check your special abilities as a captain
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335000
Check this trips
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>334995
drill it again!
>>335005
USE YOUR LASER BEAMU!
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335008
>>335007
"DRILL READY!"
"ATTACK ON YOUR COMMAND, CAPTAIN"
Roll2d100 for results
0-9: extreme failure
10-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 6, 51 = 57 (2d100)
>>335011
TROOOOOMBEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 46, 64 = 110 (2d100)
>>335011
BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU
Rolled 62, 94 = 156 (2d100)
>>335011
This drill is the drill that will pierce the Heavens!
Rolled 49, 75 = 124 (2d100)
>>335011
>>335015
"DIRECT HIT"
"WE DRILLED OFF ITS LEFT ARM"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335020
ancient evil explodes behind the submarine
classic
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335020
Finish him off using your special attack!
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335020
Finish him off with your ULTIMATE ATTACK!
>>335023
"OPENING UP DRILL"
"ENGAGING BEAMHORN"
"FIRE ON YOUR COMMAND CAPTAIN"
Roll2d100 for results
0-9: extreme failure
10-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 32, 11 = 43 (2d100)
>>335025
Rolled 69, 69 = 138 (2d100)
>>335025
TRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 41, 81 = 122 (2d100)
>>335025
SPIRAL POWERS ACTIVATE
>>335027
SIX NINE, SIX NINE
OH SHIT
>>335027
"WE GOT 'IM"
"RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST!"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335032
Loot it
>>335027
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335032
Sweet loot it
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335032
Now exploding scene behind our submarine
give some fanservice, will ya?
those rolls deserved it
>>335033
Sending out divers to loot Ancient Evil
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335038
you find a mysterious device which lets you transform into giant robot
obviously
also 10 gold coins
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335038
You find some phat loot and a treasure map.
Rolled (1d0)
>>335038
you find fanservice
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335038
Make sure to bring your ancient god disinfectant. Lord knows what's this things been in
>>335041
"Well captain, we looted the thing, and find an energy cannon, in the eye of the "ancient evil""
"Yea nigga, dis ancient evil aint ancient at all! In fact it's actually fairly recent and looks to be artificial"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335048
Mount this to my hull it will be sweet to shoot fucked with it
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335048
EQUIP ALL THE THINGS
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335048
mount that energy cannon to our ship
>>335050
Energy cannon equipped. It even goes into a seperate compartment so it can stay inside when not firing.
Totally not an excuse for me to be lazy, no no no
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335053
Can we paint our sub yellow, I feel it needs to be yellow
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335059
Any luck with the waifufinder?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335059
add black paint
a bit
also how do you paint underwater
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335059
We all live in a yellow submarine
A yellow submarine
A yellow submarine
>>335061
"the black paint are the outlines. also super future underwater paint, lmao" said the OP fish
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335063
at least paint drill in red, cheapstake
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335063
Dive mister Steve dive!
>>335064
"Ah yes, the MC Donalds color scheme"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335067
go
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335067
that's a good camouflage
we also can sell those special burgers our cook can make
>>335068
"Now why would someone build a robot pretending to be an ancient evil"
"And why was it down here"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335073
Who cares, go look for a waifu again. Maybe we will find the answer that way
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335073
make the drill able to shoot ketchup.
mcdonals all the way
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335073
Commies
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335073
from the remainings of ancient evil robot shows super robot pilot shows up
dun dun DUN
>>335077
MEANWHILE, IN COMMIELAND
"Greetings comrade, did you build a giant robot and made it look like an ancient evil and then stuck it in the bottom of the ocean inside some ancient ruins?"
"No I haven't comrade"
"Ah okay, just asking, comrade. Death to america"
"Yes comrade, screw murrica"
[Communist laughter]
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335080
Go check our radar
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335080
now show tho actually built itancient commies
>>335080
Mean while the Russians make a quick Russian dance escape from the anger middle class.
>>335080
plot twist, the ancient evil build the commies
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335085
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335086
OK then what's that? Is that ship wreckage?
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335086
who coded this shit of bort computer AI anyway
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335086
Go find a sea urchin to fuck
>>335090
I just laughed, I totally forgot about that
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335093
it searches via google
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335093
I see some over by that sunken pirate ship
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335095
activate waifu radar
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335095
safe search off
go go go
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335103
you find walrus
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335103
find waifu
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335103
Shark attack
>>335107
Welp gotta leave for a bit, be back in 2 hours
Will not quite like last time, promis
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335109
RIP in piece
you shall be remembered
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335109
yes we find waifu
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335109
COME ON NIGGA
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335109
I'll roll tooo!
Rolled 82184, 41266, 53281, 68292, 47113, 34037, 7348, 68244, 14665, 63986, 92778, 4268, 88347, 10879, 55834, 38385, 62829, 8311, 25355, 11313, 19348, 1525, 94902, 66867, 9954 = 1071311 (25d100000)
>>335109
Alright, who's still here
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335181
you bet your ass i am.
also find waifus
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335186
404 waifus not found
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335186
THESE WAIFUS
and whip out waifus
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335186
ALL OF EM
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335197
lets look for the wreck of the titanic
maybe we can find the bones of that fag from the movie or something
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335197
Look for the fabled fuck clam
>>335201
"Wonder when he's gonna figure it out" mumbled Steve to Wilson
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335204
Disengage computer, go use the loo
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335209
its getting stuffy in here lets crack a window open a little bit
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335209
And the results are in!
They're right next to you!
>>335212
Cracked open a window
>>335215
look a sea hag
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335215
Suddenly deep sea commie attack!
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335224
eat it to gain its powers
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335224
Including her guard of colossal squids.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335224
She turns you all into ducks
>>335228
Oh shit, magic zapper beam
Roll 2d100 to engage evasive maneuvers
0-9: extreme failure
10-19: terrible failure
20-29: failure
30-100: success
Rolled 16, 33 = 49 (2d100)
>>335233
Rolled 48, 81 = 129 (2d100)
>>335233
Rolled 58, 54 = 112 (2d100)
>>335233
ducks here we come
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335244
Uh oh, you evaded too high, you continue evading upwards all the way out of the water
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335244
Dive into the beam
ramming speed
>>335249
"But that's retarded, captain"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335251
I wanna become one of natures asshole rapists
just do it
>>335257
Steve continues to stare at you judgingly
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335263
corkscrew
Penises
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335263
Do ir or you're not getting payed.
>>335264
[continued judging stare]
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335268
throw steve outside into the sharks
>>335268
dice+1d10
Are you OK Steve? Do you have brain damage or something?
Roll to slap Steve.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335268
Fine I'll do it myself
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335271
I'll get the hang of this yet. Rolling to slap Steve to awareness.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335268
eat steve and absorb his soul to get his judgement power.
>>335269
[continued judging stare while fighting a shark]
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335280
promote chef to first mate
lets go find that duck beam again and realise our dreams
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335280
The rest of the crew see this and mutiny.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335280
Steve kills the shark and brings the meat for us to eat.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335280
He kills the shark and you have it for dinner
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335280
steve kills the shark and returns to the ship
>>335285
"I dunno captain. your dream does sound pretty retarded"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335300
The crew mutiny so they dont have to follow a retarded captain
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335300
Alright, let's start small then. I want to hijack another submarine. Let's steal one from the corporation.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335300
you wanna join the fish as well
just listen to me and do it
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335300
This is mutiny!
eat the cook and absorb his soul for his Common Sense powers
>>335304
"Aye, let's go find one"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335319
Bring Steve and is wife back aboard before we cast off.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335319
wait why does Steve get a waifu...
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335319
ask steve where he found the waifu.
>>335321
"what wife"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335326
The shark you married
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335326
back to the sharks with you
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335326
The qt shark girl you met loverbird.
Ah whatever, time to Grand Theft Submarine.
>>335331
"Oh, her. I just married her so she would lead me back to the secret shark people home so i can murder all of them. Which I did. Anyway, back to work"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335337
Did you bring their loot?
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335337
wow what a gay
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335337
why do you have a crown?
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335337
I hope you brought the fins back for soup.
>>335343
"I killed the shark king so by shark law I'm the shark king now"
>>335346
Can you summon sharks? That can be handy.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335346
Just to make sure you aren't a shark in disguise I'll have the cook test you.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335346
And if I'm captain of the Shark King then that makes me... the Shark Emperor
>>335350
"Yep, he's still just Steve"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335358
Huh. Found a ship to hijack yet? If not go find one.
>>335361
AND NOW. THE CORPORATE SUB YOU FOUND IS...
Roll 2d100 to find out
0-65: You found no subs
66-75: a Cruise-class sub
76-85: a Profiteer-class sub
86-95: a Infiltrator-class sub
96-100: Super duper secret sub that's hidden from the current image
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335358
What does being shark king grant you?
Rolled 56, 13 = 69 (2d100)
>>335368
supet duper seceret pls
Rolled 93, 35 = 128 (2d100)
>>335368
Rolled 16, 90 = 106 (2d100)
>>335368
better be secret sub
>>335374
"Welp, we got nothing"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335386
Go look for a military ship to steal.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335386
If you look closely there's a big green swirling line going around and around in front of, according to the monitor.
>>335386
Recalibrate and try again.
>>335394
Forgot the roll.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335398
gah roll roll roll
>>335389
Roll 2d100 to find out what you...find
0-65: You found no subs
66-75: a El Generico-class sub
76-85: a W-8-class sub
86-95: a Wrecker-class sub
96-100: Super duper secret sub that's hidden from the current image
Rolled 46, 82 = 128 (2d100)
>>335402
We're gonna make it brah.
NOBODY ROLL ANYTHING
we getting wrecker sub boiiii
Rolled 7, 80 = 87 (2d100)
>>335402
>t
>>335408
Beep
"Ah wait, we got something. Seems to be a military vessel, a W-8 class. Those tend to be heavily armored and equiped with lots of weapons. If the military is sending those down here then there must be something they want to destroy."
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335425
It's probably us. Send Steve on a steal mission to infiltrate and kill their captain.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335425
ram it
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335425
What they want to destroy, is you
>>335428
I meant to say "stealth" but we are stealing a sub.
>>335430
"Engaging Drill"
Roll 2d100 for ramming results
0-29: terrible
30-79: bad
80-95: okay
96-100: good
Rolled 82, 63 = 145 (2d100)
>>335443
Rolled 38, 25 = 63 (2d100)
>>335443
Rolling to embed and attach to the military submarine.
>>335444
Ah fuck, they shot a torpedo and blown you off course
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335453
Board their bridge
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335453
You accidentally ram a giant squid instead
>>335454
"WE CAN'T GET CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT, CAPTAIN! AND NOW THEY HAVE A LOCK ON US! THOSE BASTARDS ARE GOING TO RETURN FIRE!"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335464
RAM THEIR BRIDGE
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335464
Tape a piece of paper over the warning, that will fix the problem
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335464
RAM
THE
BRIDGE
>>335466
Ramming bridge while having torpedoes launched at you
Roll 2d100 for ramming results
0-29: terrible
30-79: bad
80-95: okay
96-100: good
Rolled 16, 58 = 74 (2d100)
>>335475
Rolled 89, 68 = 157 (2d100)
>>335475
>>335478
"AH FUCK"
"THEY GOT OUR ENGINES"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335490
Aren't our engines just one midget rowing really hard?
Did he died?
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335490
Activate the laser cannon we found!
>>335492
No but he is knocked out
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335500
SAVE THE MIDGET FROM THE FIRES!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335500
Taunt them to firing another rocket to boost your speed forward and causing you to ram them
>>335504
"I"LL SAVE HIM!" Yelled Dan - voted "Most likely to die for cheap drama", as he jumped into the burning engine room
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335513
And then he saved him perfectly and didn't die, weird
>>335518
"Manlet rescued, captain"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335528
While this was happening you got hit by multiple torpedos.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335528
good work, now we can all die together
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335528
he then gets a heart attack from the excitement, and the captain and dan have a tear jerking moment while cook sets up a way to save him
>>335534
no...dan....no...please..live...
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335537
Once you look out the bridge you notice your ship is cover in holes from torpedos.
>>335280
THAT STARE
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335537
you look out the window, and see sharks crying for dan.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335549
Summon all your might and power the sub with your rage
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335549
TIME TO FIX THE SHIP
BRING THE "CARLOS" FROM THE BASEMENT!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335567
OH FUCK
MEGA RAM TIME NOW
LOCK ON
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335567
YOUR TO ANGRY, THE SHIP CANT HANDLE THIS POWER!!!
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335570
MEGA RAM ACTIVATE
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
OH GOD YES
>>335570
Roll 2d100 for results
0-19: terrible failure
20-49: failure
50-79: success
80-100" mgreat success
Rolled 59, 15 = 74 (2d100)
>>335588
Rolled 71, 97 = 168 (2d100)
>>335588
Rolled 72, 37 = 109 (2d100)
>>335588
TROOOOOMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 2, 93 = 95 (2d100)
>>335588
FULL SPEED RAM!
HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>335592
NOOOOO
Page refreshed after I clicked send!!!
>>335594
rip
Rolled 39, 47 = 86 (2d100)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>335594
Sadly, your Rage Drill was foiled
By the W-8 moving slightly to the left
Your sub is now stuck to some rocks
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335606
back slowly to the place you were before you rage drilled, the do it over again.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335606
Get out and ride the walks like the pioneers used to do way back when
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335606
those are no rocks...
IT'S A HIDDEN CITY OF ATLANTIS
>>335613
"Okay, backing up, backing up..."
"Aaaaanyyyy minute now"
"Crap"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335625
Get absorbed by the rocks and wind up somewhere ~mysterious~
>>335631
A ~mysterious~ place
WITH NO LIGHT
OOGA BOOGA BOOGA
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335634
Suddenly lights appear and you see you're in the magical lands of the anons.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335634
turn on the light thenit's a city of ATLANTIS
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335634
5 hours later
>>335638
"your waifu is shit"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335646
They're giant and you're tiny
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335646
start throwing punches
>>335646
A hoard of r9k anons appear looking angry
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335646
send out Steve
>>335649
"lmao he thinks he can actually punch us"
">implying you're not a faggot"
>>335655
why is the sub not yellow
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335655
Head deeper into the mystery zone and find a caverns made out of mystery boxes
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335655
send out Steve
to gather resources
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335655
Pray to the dark alleyway god to save you from this hell.
>>335662
Man, he's not answering, wonder why....
MEANWHILE, IN THE REALM OF THE DARK GOD OF THE ALLEY
"Man, i should really remember to charge my phone"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335667
Good, screw that guy anyway
send out Steve outside to gather materials to upgrade your submarine
meanwhile cook the dinner with cook
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335667
right then, I guess just keep wandering around until you hit something
>>335670
"Alright captain, you can start by chopping this carrot"
Roll 2d100 to chop carrot
0-19: impossibly terrible failure
20-39: terrible failure
40-69: failure
70-89: success
90-100: great success
Rolled 27, 5 = 32 (2d100)
>>335678
Rolled 8, 92 = 100 (2d100)
>>335678
FEAR MY COOKING SKILLS
TROOMBE
Rolled 76, 83 = 159 (2d100)
>>335678
Rolled 89, 86 = 175 (2d100)
>>335678
>>335682
"Thanks captain, now can you use the stove and heat up a pot of water for me?"
Roll 2d100 to boil water
0-19: impossibly terrible failure
20-39: terrible failure
40-69: failure
70-89: success
90-100: great success
Rolled 76, 93 = 169 (2d100)
>>335692
CHESTOOOOO
>>335695
"Ah, so you boiled a pot of plain water so good, you somewhow turned it into broth. Okay."
Rolled 7 (1d10)
Put your face in it.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335705
Make delicious meal for all your crew!
>>335709
"You're doing great so far, captain. Now chop up this fish. Careful though, it's poisonous"
Roll 2d100 to boil water
0-19: impossibly terrible failure
20-49: terrible failure
50-69: failure
70-89: success
90-100: great success
Rolled 42, 52 = 94 (2d100)
>>335716
IGUZO, TUROOOMBEEEEE
>>335718
Oh fuck, you weren't careful and touched one of its poisonous spikes! You are now unconcious
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335722
THIS IS NOTHING WHICH YOU CAN'T CURE THRU SHEER WILLPOWER AND HOTBLOODNESS
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335722
cook wakes us up from our fever dream
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335722
Wake up captured by the military
Rolled 2 (1d10)
RAGE WAKES YOU UP
>>335726
And he did it...by feeding you one of the tentacles again.
Oh god, it tastes even worse than you remembered, it's like somebody took the smell of old clothing that have been accidentally left in the wash for a week and somehow made it into a taste
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335732
go read a cooking book to improve your cooking skill
>>335732
what happened during my fever dream?
>>335736
apple won it all
>>335735
Roll 2d100 to read book
0-19: impossibly terrible failure
20-49: terrible failure
50-69: failure
70-89: success
90-100: great success
Rolled 10, 81 = 91 (2d100)
>>335747
Rolled 58, 80 = 138 (2d100)
>>335747
Rolled 31, 50 = 81 (2d100)
>>335747
CHESTOOOOOOOOOO
>>335750
Cooking skill +1
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335754
Remember that steve was still having a heart attack then check if he's still alive.
>>335756
"No I wasn't"
>>335759
check Steve's stats
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335759
Remember it was dan
>>335762
Yep, those are his stats
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335767
He seems to have caught a gay
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335767
Check how everyones health is
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>335767
how good they are based on your jaw location
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335767
Oh shit look some plot!
>>335772
Quiet satan
>>335774
never....
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335777
why our crew has almost same HP as submarine?
I smell ruse
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335777
You forgot to include the heart attack debuff on dan.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335777
then the ship runs a ground in a mermaid secret cove!
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335782
ALRIGHT GUYS, WE CAME FOR WAIFUS
>>335781
Nah, the heart attack issue was resolved a long time ago. WHile you were unconcious.
>>335784
No waifus 4evar
Unless you are Lolisniffer
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335790
Also. Plot
>>335780
1 Submarine HP = 1000 human HP
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335790
two plots
big roundy plots
>>335793
"Oh yeah, forgot to mention. We've been captured. And the Moby Dick has been taken away into their storage"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335804
but what about dinner?
that broth was nice
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335804
They send you to deep sea prison
>>335808
"Oh yeah...about that....yeeeeaaaaaah....They kinda dumped your whole pot of broth down the sink. Apprently it wasn't to their liking, too much salt or something"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
nigger
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335812
They also confescated everything below the waist. Tyrone is being set up for execution because of....discoveries.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335812
this just got personal
break yourself free cause of RAGE
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335812
RAGE AS HARD AS THE GREATEST BARBARIAN AND FIND WHO DID IT!
>>335820
"I dunno captain, that game was pretty shit"
"Yeah, "Megatextures", pffft"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335823
RAGE ANYWAY
THAT WAS NICE BROTH GODDAMIT
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>335823
Just rage.
>>335829
"Well yeah, just by itself, the game was pretty crappy, man."
"Indeed, nothing but a mediocre FPS"
"I dunno guys, aren't you being a little hard on it? It's actually a pretty decent game"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335831
become extremely upset about lost broth to the point being heavily angered by culprits which leds to increasing your physical ability which lets you break free from your shackles and free your crew.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>335831
While the military is bickering over the game tyrone frees the crew with his skills.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>335831
It wasn't good. Seriously, nostalgia is a filthy mirror sometimes.
>>335834
"Take those nostalgia goggles off, Dan. RAGE was at best, meh"
"Awww c'mon, RAGE was good back then and it's still good now....Unlike some other game...*cough*DOOM*cough*..."
"I will murder your entire family and leaving only you left alive so you'll have to live with the pain"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>335844
Duke Nukem Forever was alright
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335844
That guy behind you is dans father and you use your rage to kill him
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335844
>insulted DOOM
Aight. Aight.
Punch his face so hard it swallows reality.
>>335849
Your crew looks at you with various degrees of pity and disappointment
>>335856
beat the shit out of dan for even suggesting DOOM is bad.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335856
now that I have your attention
let's break free and murder those who stand in our way?
please?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>335856
The military comes and brainwashes your crew, as a side effect they dont remember you saying duke nukem was good.
>>335861
"Aye aye, captain"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335873
lead the attack!
CHEESTOOO
oh wait, Steve already killed everyone
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>335873
They realize their cell had cameras and now the military are in alert phase.
>>335879
"ALERT! ALERT! THE PRISONERS HAVE ESCAPED!"
wuh oh, they're coming to get you!
And they will
In another time because thread will now again put on hold for now. Will cotinue later. Again. See ya.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>335885
rip op will be remember
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>335885
DEM CLIFFHANGERS
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BROTH
Great thred is great.
>>335890
The broth is gone.
The fascist military threw it out the airlock.
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>335885
Huff some paint to become golden.
>If you're golden, nothing could stop you.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337770
WE MUST SAFE BROTH
>>337771
"The broth's gone, captain. Gooooone"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337773
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT
IT WAS NICE BROTH
>>337775
"Yes it was. And now it's sewage"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337776
What about the military?
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337776
where did flashin alarm gone btw
>>337779
"Oh they're right outside this door. I've managed to wreck its controls to stop it from opening but it won't hold them for long"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337781
Take a look around you for something useful.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337781
call them a CASUL
a fucking CASUAL
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337781
prepare an ambush
with your mad cooking skills
>>337784
"lmao he's calling us casual"
"while hiding like a pussy behind a door"
"lol cant fight us 1v1 eh wuss"
"what a gay"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337786
fuck
we are captured by tryhards
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337786
I BET YOU PLAY OVERGAY
YOU FUCKING BLIZZSHILL CASUL
>>337787
"lmao, spoken like a true casual"
"probably got rekt in PvP lmao"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337790
Your a big GAY
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337790
Make a makeshift trap with whatever you can while insulting every single good videogame known to man.
That should rile them up.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337790
"what is better, LoL or DOTA?"
>>337792
"lol nice comeback nerd"
"a casual even in insults, lmao"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337796
Activate the defense mechanisms
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337796
You've ran out of ideas, ask steve to insult them in your stead
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337796
piss on the door
>>337798
"lmao he plays ASSFAGGOTS"
"holy shit now I know you're a real casual"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337802
gas the whole fucking sub with anything
including the room you are in, just because
BTW, it's been a while since I came to these threads, I kind of like it now, less shitposting. Liveliness is gone, though
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337802
they start fight each other
you open door and kill everyone with Steve during confusion
>>337804
"lmao, what is gone is your goddamn mind"
"yeah, you don't have anything to gas us with"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337807
Literally fart sleeping gas
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337807
Fuck you faggot, 1v1 me. I swear on me mum, I will rek you.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337807
ah fuck it.
Steve, handle this.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337807
just do it anyway
hell, even hairspray might do
>>337811
"sure fag, c'mon"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337816
Win your 1v1 encounter, surprisingly
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337816
Punch a literal hole through him while chanting to some dark elder god.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337816
tell Steve to set sub to self-destruct
ironically
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337816
in a cooking duel
>>337819
"lmao what kind of casual that wants to win fights off screen"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337824
cooking duel go
intimidate your enemy by collection of 100% complete cooking mama games
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337824
ne
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337824
Quickly uppercut this fag, he is defenceless.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337824
win the fight in the most gory way possible and intimidate his collegues.
>>337824
Meanwhile
the Cthulhu hits on Shub-Niggurath
>>337828
"I see"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>337835
Quickly snap his neck while he is not facing you.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>337835
Woops I mistyped "me"
Oh well, better kill myself then
>>337836
Roll 2d100 to snap his neck. First number is pickings, second is result
1-29: extremely terrible failure
30-59: terible failure
60-95: failure
96-100: success
Rolled 56, 98 = 154 (2d100)
>>337839
Rolled 92, 94 = 186 (2d100)
>>337839
"eat a dick, fagget"
Rolled 28, 47 = 75 (2d100)
>>337839
>>337842
sad frog.jpg
Rolled 8, 62 = 70 (2d100)
>>337839
pls bby
>>337842
He wasn't as unsuspecting as you thought and elbow'd you right in the face
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337846
Bite his elbow
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337846
hit his fists with our face
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337846
Ask Steve to take over for you while you recover from a bloody nose.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337846
Elbow him back
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337846
snap his neck anyway
>>337848
Attempting to bite armored elbow with your crappy unbrushed teeth
Roll 2d100 to bite
1-49: lose all your teeth
50-79:lose most of your teeth
80-97: lose some of your teeth
98-100: success
Rolled 24, 97 = 121 (2d100)
>>337854
Rolled 20, 50 = 70 (2d100)
>>337854
nat 100 obviously
>>337855
Missed it by one point
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337859
Call Shub-Niggurath
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337859
never lucky
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337859
Get steve to fight on your behalf while you recover.
>>337862
"Awww, cheer up, cap. Your luck aint that bad. At least you don't have our luck!"
"Yeah, I mean, we accidentally found the long lost treasures of an ancient sunken city. If we were really lucky we would ahve found the long lost treasures of TWO ancient sunken city"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337871
regenerate our teeth
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337871
Wait, a minute that spear...
Quick, use it as a weapon !
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337871
Eat their treasures out of pure saltiness
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337871
"Wahhhhh, its not fair"
start throwing a tantrum.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>337871
did they found gold teeth in there?
>>337873
One of your lesser known powers
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>337879
Resume the fight.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337879
punch the military in the face.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337879
cooking duel go
>>337881
"Are you sure he can do this?" Asked Wilson
"YEah, the captain's fine, he got this" said Steve
"How would you know?" asked Dan
"His fighting prowess is nothing to laugh at guys, c'mon"
"Ya sure bout that nigga?" questioned Tyrone
"Yeah man, one time, he picked a fight with at least 10 dudes, and won!"
"Granted, those 10 dudes were 5 year olds, but still"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337891
challenge their captain in cooking duel instead
YOU CAN'T FORGET THAT BROTH
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337891
Maybe this guy is a 5 year old in disguise
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337891
Make use of your prowess in military combat arts. I mean, you're a captain, captains know shit like sambo or kapap.
Use it to incapacitate him and break his bones through his armor.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337891
You discover a hidden power within yourself that helps you win the fight.
>>337892
Captain of the Military sub says:
"Eh, not feeling it"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337899
Quick while everyone was distracted you got undressed
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337899
Call the capt a pussy
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337899
chicken
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>337905
You you double nigger
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337905
I've beat more cooking mama games than you
>>337906
"Yeah sure whatever, watch out for that punch"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>337911
Dodge that incoming punch like neo from the matrix.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337921
offer attacker a sandwich
>>337925
Roll 2d100 to attempt to break punchy arm from your current Neo position using your superior Captain Martial Art
0-9: extreme terrible failure
10-39: teerible failure
40-69: failure
70-89: success
90-100: grrrreat success
Rolled 43, 46 = 89 (2d100)
>>337928
Rolled 33, 88 = 121 (2d100)
>>337928
Rolled 94, 60 = 154 (2d100)
>>337928
Great Hastur protect me
>>337931
so many near misses
Rolled 60, 83 = 143 (2d100)
>>337928
TROOOOOOOOMBEEEEEEEEE
>>337932
this pains me
>>337931
Dangit
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337940
Use your advanced "Getting punched in the face" technique to turn this situation to your advantage
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337940
offer him a cookie
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337940
Quickly recall your master's teachings. The intense screaming, the pain you've had to endure, that time you actually managed to snap his elbow and break his arm.
You can get out of this and come out on top. Just remember your training
>>337942
"Your cookies tastes like shit"
And then he crushes your cookie into dust!
Or cookie crumbs, whatever.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>337945
it was actually a bomb. it blows his arm off
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337945
Derive great power from your anger at the dessecrated cookie, remember your training and snap his leg at the knee.
>>337948
Roll 2d100 to attempt to break leg
0-9: extreme terrible failure
10-29: teerible failure
30-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: grrrreat success
Rolled 49, 3 = 52 (2d100)
>>337954
do it
Rolled 93, 26 = 119 (2d100)
>>337954
do it
Rolled 51, 42 = 93 (2d100)
>>337954
Empower yourself through the belief that you can shit inside his helmet if you incapacitate him
>>337956
that's why I insisted on cooking.
>>337958
He'll just do to our cooking what he did to the peace offering. He's clearly a man of no taste and deserves a shit filled helmet.
That being said. Well shit...
>>337956
And you got a knee to the face for your troubles.
It also broke all your teeth
>>337962
Damn, his armor protected it
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337966
Take a quick look to make sure it's not plot armor
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337966
meanwhile Steve killed EVERYBODY
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337966
He's distracted, take advantage of this to kick his crotch protection in.
>>337968
>plot armor
I KNEW I'VE SEEN THAT FACE SOMEWHERE
IT'S MARK
WHAT A DICK
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337975
Tap steve in and have him kill everybody in the military
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>337975
Use ColdGate toothpaste on it.
It eats thru K corp armour.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337975
Surrender
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>337980
it does
cause barbarian nanomachines, son
run the ad
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337980
Yes it does
>>337982
"BECAUSE COLDGATE BRUTAL IS---"
This unapproved ad has been disposed off by a K Corp agent. You may now return to your regular programming
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337984
CENSORSHIP
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>337984
Have steve shank him in the back with his golden spear. You've grown tired of fucking around with this idiot who doesn't appreciate your cooking.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>337984
Change the channel
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>337984
Attempt to dislocate that knee in your face
>>337987
"lol it took 2 of you to kill me"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>337994
Oh did it? Cleverly disappear and make it seem like there was only one guy all along
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>337994
Big talk from a group of bitches in power armor
>>337994
pay to win faggot
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338000
secretly shit in the guy's helmet then steal and repurpose his power armor
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338000
attempt to infiltrate enemy bridge
>>338001
Even the shit helmet?
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338005
no, just infiltrate the kitchen and mess their food up
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338005
Especially the shit helmet.
It'll make a good projectile
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338005
do not wear the shit helmet, it would keep others from admiring your glorious visage. Keep it as a possible projectile weapon though.
>>338009
yeah okay.
Meanwhile both sides started firing because clearly 1v1 is no longer an option
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338016
protect your crew with your teeth
or
infiltrate the kitchen
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338016
Use your newly acquired stealth skills along with enhanced strength due to power armor to shank everybody from behind.
>>338018
Kit
chen it is
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338023
Equip Repurposed Power Armor
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338023
devouring enemy resources is first step to victory
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338026
Onwards towards the kitchen! We'll consume their supplied and grab anything that's flammable.
>>338027
And when you entered the kitchen, you find...the enemy captain. Making a sandwich.
>>338032
Propose a truce, all you wanted to do was make some fucking broth in a decent fucking kitchen, not have a manchild assault you and insult your cooking.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338032
HE PUTS THAT THING YOU DESPISE IN SANDWICH
PICKLES
WHO EATS SANDWICHES WITH PICKLES?!?!your love interest
>>338038
"Who?"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338042
YOUR RIVAL WHO LOST TO YOU IN REGIONAL COOKING COMPETITION 2 YEARS AGO
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338042
Your mum last nite
>>338045
"You say thst like i'd know who the hell that guy is"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338047
YOUUUUUUUUU
rival name window input pops up
>>338050
"Nope, still not getting it"
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338054
Ignore the rival captain. There is broth to be made.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338054
Take him as hostage
>>338055
"Sorry, you'll have to get back to your cell."
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338061
punch him in the face and make some goddamn broth
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338061
With all due respect to the fellow captain he'll have to understand that all you wanted to do was make some broth in the nice kitchen.
Also steve's probably KILLED EVERYTHING by now so he holds no authority over you.
>>338062
"Again, go back to your cell"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338065
Steve kills him from behind with a gold spear
>>338068
"wow rude"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338072
Double team this asshole
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338072
now punch him
also Steve already killed everyone and all covered in blood.
asks for some soup made from fine broth
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338072
activate power armor
>>338077
Activated
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338081
Throw projectile shit helmet at him
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338081
now make broth
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338081
Cave the capt skull in
>>338083
Oh no, he deflected it right back at you!
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338096
dodge and break his arm with your armor empowered martial arts so you can make some fucking broth
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338096
eat his sandwich
>>338100
And since you were trying to eat the sandwich, your mouth was open.
Gross
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338106
still eat it
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338106
Eat it smugly
>>338109
And so you mugly ate the shit
Steve stares at you judgingly
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338114
now eat the sandwich
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338114
tell steve to do his fucking job and shank him while you try to break his arm with your armor empowered martial arts.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338114
You vomit afterwards onto the enemy captain
>>338119
Steve finds it hard to take your orders seriously when your mouth is full of shit
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338122
forgive me Steve.
it's voices in my head. it's all them
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338122
It's high quality shit tho, try it
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338122
Go rinse your mouth then
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338122
to hell with steve just break the guy's arm and comit shit all over him
>>338126
Steve stares at "poster who wanted to eat sandwich instead of dodging shit helmet in the first place" judgingly
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338132
Excuse yourself and rinse the shit off you
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338132
I FORGOT ABOUT HELM OKAY
I ACTUALLY LIKE PICKLES IN MY SANDWICHES
>>338133
Sadly he kicked you away, foiling your plan
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338141
You and steve attack him together.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338141
you land into his broth
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338141
make a makeshift flamethrower with remains of shit-helmet and other flamable components found within the kitchen.
Tonight there will be no broth... We shall grill!
>>338145
He responds by attacking you. With Steve
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338151
hey
that's my Steve
hands off
>>338154
Roll2d100 to craft flamethrower
1-29: Terrible failure
30-85: failure
86-100: success
Rolled 24, 93 = 117 (2d100)
>>338160
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338167
Fire! Literally
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338167
FOR THE MEMORY OF BROTH
I'LL MAKE YOU FRIED BORSCH
FIRAAAA
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338167
immolate the rival captain while hailing cthuga for his aid in the construction of this glorious grilling instrument!
>>338170
FWOOSH
Roll2d100 to determine results of your fire
1-29: Extremely Terrible failure
30-75: Terrible failure
70-90: Failure
91-99: success
100: Great success
Rolled 25, 99 = 124 (2d100)
>>338176
>>338177
anon on fire today
>>338177
"...ow"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338192
Eat him, he's perfectly done
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338192
holy shit
that's not human at all
who are this? this is not a military submarine, but one which was PRETENDING TO BE ONE
>>338193
He uppercuts your teeth when you got close to eat him.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338206
Uppercut him back
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338206
Bast him with some broth
>>338206
HIS EXISTENCE MUST BE CLEANSED! BLAST HIM AGAIN WITH STEVE'S AID!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338206
Have steve kill him from behind with his golden spear.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338211
here's the missing die roll
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338223
smash his visor in the bits
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338223
take advantage of your surprise attack TO BLAST HIM AGAIN
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338223
Chain it into a multihit combo
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338244
and now go for KO
rocky theme BGM played by Steve
>>338246
he tackles you to put you off balance, you missed
>>338254
Bearhug that motherfucker and lick his burnt face with your shit smeared tongue
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338254
remember what you learned in cooking school
remember the basics
and go
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338254
HEADBUTT HIM
He'll pay for the humiliation you suffered at the hands of his underling!
>>338259
Ah yes. Sushi knife
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338273
Make sashimi out of the fucker
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338273
ZANKANTOU
THE SWORD THAT SMITES EVIL
it also got mini boosters to enhance the speed
>>338277
Awww yeah
dramatic cut ins
bitches love cut ins
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338283
Trip
>>338286
Now
Roll 2d100
1-29: Extremely Terrible failure
30-55: Terrible failure
55-80: Failure
81-100: success
Rolled 42, 92 = 134 (2d100)
>>338300
Rolled 68, 77 = 145 (2d100)
>>338300
>>338302
WE HUNGER!
Rolled 36, 68 = 104 (2d100)
>>338300
Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d100)
>>338300
oh right, rolling
>>338310
ROLL ANON ROLL! SAVE US ALL!
>>338303
I didn't even roll and left PC for a second cause I thought we had it in the bag
why anon
why
Rolled 4, 91 = 95 (2d100)
>>338312
it's too late
Rolled 7, 60 = 67 (2d100)
>>338300
oh jesus
>>338303
whoops
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338319
CHANGE OF COURSEgo for the backstab
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338319
Did we even go to cooking school? aren't we a sub captain?
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338319
HE LOWERED HIS HEAD! LODGE YOUR KNEE IN HIS FACE AS AN ACT OF VENGEANCE!
Also, i think we hit the image cap.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338319
He pushes you away and calls in his body guards.
>>338323
Huh
Genuinely didn't see that coming
>>338326
I assume, kindly OP, a new thread is required.
It was nice run
I'm off
disappointed
we didn't even avenge the broth
gl anons
make me proud
Rolled 43 (1d100)
>>338327
Alright, new thread.
I will now Roll 1d100 for thread
>50: thread
<50: also thread,but you will lose this fight no matter wat because I'm an asshole like that
>>338333
well shit
Rolled 7952 (1d10000)
>>338333
if I roll above 9000 then we win the battle
>>338338
eeyup
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338338
if I roll 10 then I'm a grill
>>338338
well... double shit...
>>338341
Since you were so close you must be a trap
Rolled 1 (1d1)
>>338341
fuck you too dice
I'd win cooking battle
Rolled 1 (1d3)
Rolled 1 (1d3)
nen