JIM REX

>>302189
Tell them to come in.

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>>303682
"Come in" you gruff, voice reverberating around the room.

Hesitantly, the door opens, revealing the office chucklefucks Veloci and Tobias.

What did they want?

"We, uh, we were uh, wondering-" Tobias stammers.

"If we could have some extra time off?" Veloci finishes, peering up at you.

This wasn't the first time they pulled this shit, but it is one potential way of getting rid of them, hmm, what to do, what to do...

>>304094
Tell them that if they need even more free time, you could arrange non paid permanent vacations for them

>>304094
The vacation will be your stomach. Eat them, and their families.

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>>304094
Forgot to put in my name, woops anyway...

>>304123
(1).

"If you want more time off" you snort "you could unlimited unpaid leave"

Tobias smacks his lips, and turns away.

"Aw, c'mon boss, don't be like that" Veloci starts, "it's not fair that-"

"Not fair?" you bellow, "I'll show you not fair!"

>>304198
(2).

You drag them in with your teeth, and step on Tobias.

You valiantly lift and devour Veloci, before giving the same treatment to Tobias.

There ends the chucklefuck problem, with no evidence remaining.

Although, someone might come looking for them, you can't leave the office to eat their families at the moment, you'll just deal with that when the time comes.

Well, that interfered with your lunch plans, you should call your secretary and have them canceled, or don't, you're the boss.

>>304405
Nah, it was just appetizers. We're still going to lunch. We're organized like that.

>>304434
But Anon we might get fat.
>>304405
Draft a quick memo to claim at the next meeting that Tobias and Veloci ditched work and forward it to payroll that they've been fired. Also tell the secretary to put two new job openings up on your way to lunch.

We can use a cell phone right? Can we reach?

>>304518
>304094
Getting fat is the least of our issues, they'd expect us to not show up at lunch if we ALREADY ate something... And with two missing employees... Well, let's just say we've gone down the road of no return.

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>>304434
Right! The fact that the chucklefucks were almost a problem post-humorously just proved how incompetent they are, er... where.

Getting out of the office, you go outside to meet with your appointed vice, Barney Carson, a carnosaur that practically idolizes you.

You two were on your way to the restaurant when >>304518 you remembered you forgot to cover your ass on the Tobias and Veloci, damn. James does things in the order of when anons post. The problem persists, oh well, guess you'll take care of it when you get back.

More importantly, you have a choice in restaurant options:

>small place (hard to fit) with great food
>large place (easy to fit) with meh food

Hmm, decisions decisions...

>>304558
Well, might as well go in the place with meh food. We need to fit. Also, worst case scenario, we don't like the food. Best case scenario, we have a hidden passion of shitty food.

>>304543
What kind of a boss settles for mediocracy? What is owning a business but not pushing our limits of growth and size?!

Also make sure you get a booth, the seats are nicer.

>>304575
Changing my vote to this. We must become the fear of all restaurants, for we know nothing but hunger and profits.

Yeah!
Also gonna punch out for the night. Got thread watched for tomorrow tho.

>>304586
I will hold the watch, comrade.

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>>304575
>>304580
When the restaurant is hard to fit it's hard to fit!

You're at ROCKET NOODLE, a distinctive establishment by the harbor, very expensive.

You paid off the place to kick everyone out, leaving "room" for you and Barney.

Since you put in so much effort and money, this place better be good! But what to order? For you, the staff can replicate any meat via cloning, so any animal, presumed-extinct or otherwise, can be ordered.

So many choices!

>>304718
Any animal?

Fuck it, let's eat ALL-AMERICAN hamburgers, hold the everything besides meat. And put some more meat on that meat. And some human nuggets to go with it, along with some FREEDOM FRIES! (Which are just frenchmen)

We american T-Rex naow.

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>>304731
The staff member in charge of food began to clone the synthetic French abomination, Jean Lefebvre.

However, she wasn't paying attention and accidentally made Jean into an aggressive giant, who promptly strangled her too death then fled the place.

Well... shit, there went lunch, good thing you ate already or you'd be seriously starving, however your companion, Barney, is very pissed about the whole ordeal.

What now?

>>304872
Dear god... We might of doomed the world with this underwear seller. Oh well, we'll try to work the cloning machine, I guess. What's the worst that could happen with a giant t-rex with little arms fucking around with a dangerous machine which could in theory doom the world or something like that.

I'm gonna pass out mang

I'll see you tomorrow.

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>>304882
It's possible that >>304518's fears of fatness may be a legitimate concern after all!

Due to your...girth, you literally cannot fit through the opening that leads to the cloning room.

"Mr. Rex we're going to need to get lunch another way" Barney says, under a thin facade of polite that hides a raging bloodlust that will soon reveal itself.

>>304943
A'ight, see ya in the mornin'.

>>304945
Damn. Alright yeah let's go somewhere else to eat and watch Barney lose his shit.

Also be sure to leave a shitty review for rocket noodle online. Two thumbs down, 0/5, all caps, the works.

>>305210
Oh, also add some misspelling and about twenty exclamation points. Our hands are short after all.
Also, I want to see Barney go fucking insane, let's see how long it takes before the police are called.

>>305326
Make it 40 exclamation marks, we're a T rex, we can roar louder than that. Even on the internet.

>>305397
...Fill up half of the page with exclamation marks, and the rest is just us typing in all caps a really long RAWR!

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>>305210
>>305326
You pull out your phone and give Rocket Noodle a piece of your mind, they won't recover from that.

Barney is on the verge of snapping.

"Mr. Re-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you're hungry, follow me"

You lead Barney to the cargo bay area. Workers are milling about, talking among themselves.

"Alright, eat up"

"But Mr. Rex I can't ju-"

"Barney, you're a dinosaur, eat"

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Barney goes on a primal rampage and begins consuming dock workers.

"...dinosaurs...eating...yes, come right away" you hear someone say from a distance, it wont be long until the feds show up.

>>305429
...Could we ambush the feds? Besides, do they actually have any weapons that could hurt us? Barney could distract them while we attempt to flank around the side, causing them to basically get fucked both ways in the ass. Plus, we need more gains for our hips. It's a win win, because we don't get sent to jail, and we get more food. Also, Barney gets to eat some more, I guess.

>>305429
Oh my god that Fucking yelp review. 10/10 literally laughed until it hurt.
>>305440
Haven't you ever played GTA? They'll just keep coming and if the fed get this made public it'll ruin our business image.

We need to make a speedy getaway.

Head out front, stomp your feet into two of the fastest cars in the parking lot and use them as roller skates and make a break for it!
Barney should be able to keep up, can be like one of them sonic levels.

>>305469
Honestly, I have never played GTA because I am a forever poor fag, and keep forgetting about it. Also, there's probably half a dozen dinos that look similar to us.

>>305478
Well fighting with the fed will take all day and we got a busy schedule.

I still say we plop our but down on some kind of big car and pull off some Mario kart double dash tactics and gtfo.

Dinosaurs have feathers.

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>>305440
In the skyline you see a chopper shoot a missile, hitting Barney directly in the face and exploding his head into gory pieces.

>>305469
>>305525
You take off, finding no cars on the sandy harbor you'll have to run, but where? You gotta lose the feds or your body and reputation will be destroyed!

Gotta run errands, will be back in a couple hours.

>>305567
Shit, dinosaur down! I repeat, dinosaur down!

We will come back for you, the humans will regret headshotting you, for we will lead the DINO INSURRECTION!

Quickly, flee the scene via charging! Remember your training of micromanaging, so micromanage your feet into charging the opposite direction of the chopper!

>>305567
Fuggggggg

Alright yeah I don't have any clever ideas.
BURN RUBBER M8

Will this be continue, OP?

Start a smear campaign on humans using Barney as a martyr #Dinolivematter